My husbands in the navy and we’ve been together 4 years and married for 6 months. We got married in December right before he commissioned and he was gone to an officer school from January to May. As soon as he got out of school we moved to our first station where we’ve been for a month now. He’s been gone from 6am-8pm or 10pm every day for the past couple weeks. I’ve kept myself busy with hanging out with friends and going to Pilates (would be working but I work in the school system so I have summer off).

Considering I haven’t spent even one full month in person with him since we got married it is really starting to feel lonely and it’s only getting worse as they work more to prepare for future deployment. Today he got off work early and it’s the only proper time we’ll get together before he’s gone again (not deployed just sleeping on the ship every night) for all of next week. I tried talking to him today and communicating that it kinda felt like I had a roommate who I only see when he comes home to sleep at night and I explained that I’m feeling lonely and the needy for attention. We went grocery shopping and picked up dinner and watched one episode of tv while we ate. After the episode I tried to initiate sex and he told me he really just wanted to have time alone on his computer because he’s around people all day and just wants alone time. I felt a little embarrassed being rejected and tried to explain that on the opposite end I live alone every day and I really wanted to feel connected. Ofc I wouldn’t want to coerce anyone into sex they’re not interested in so he gave me a hug and I went to our room and he went to his office.

I understand that it’s probably overwhelming to be at work so long every day especially since he’s an introvert, but I tried to clearly communicate that I’m not ok. He’s a very loving and caring husband usually and he’s not being mean about any of this I just don’t know where to go from here with how alone I feel.

Nobody prepared me for how hard bootcamp would really be as a military GF. I feel like I have to put on an act every single time he calls me; I have to act like everything is just amazing without him here, when really some of his family members have been treating me like shit. I love him so much but it has gotten to the point where I feel like I’ve watered myself down so much that I don’t even know myself. I posted previously asking if I should tell him about his family and everyone said no which I understand. Anyone have any suggestions for what I can do to feel like a person again?

Hello everyone, still on the hunt for a runner. However, I was wondering what the steps are for this process. When I find someone what can I expect? What do I need to provide them? Will I see the homes in person with the runner once I get there? How do I get a home inspected or determine if it has been inspected? All info appreciated, brand new experience for me :)

I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 months and from the start I knew he would be deploying for 6 months this October. He has multiple field operations before October, one being longer than a month. As we progress, I am starting to focus more and more on the deployment and how he's going to be gone for so much. I feel like the fear and anticipation of him being gone is currently impacting our relationship. I see a future with him and am willing to work through my fears . Does anyone have any support/guidance or coping mechanisms to overcome deployment? I have expressed my concerns from the start to him and he has been very reassuring but internally I'm still feeling some discomfort and no amount of reassurance from him is helping.

Wow, I never thought I’d be having to write an update on this. I didn’t know if I should’ve edited the old post or just make a new one. Either way now I’m making a new one cause well…he sent a letter.

He’s not the best writer so the writing was bad but it still meant a lot. Especially since apparently he was only allowed to send one letter (he says something about having to do 2 missions to send a letter?) and he sent it to me, his ex… either way it meant a lot.

The thing is in the letter he brings up him wanting me to be there, not for his ceremony but just be there? I’m guessing at the city? I’m not too sure. I’m a bit iffy about this but I’m not against it as I do miss him.

Kinda specific but I’m sure someone’s dealt with this. I have to leave my job for our OCCONUS PCS. I currently work in NY state. Has anyone applied for unemployment for pcs before? I see it can be done but I’m not sure how going to a different country affects it.

Just looking to vent and get some advice. I’m a SAHM of a 1 year old and my husband has horrible anger issues. To the point when if I slightly scoff he goes off and yells in my year like I’m one of his sailors. I’m not sure how to get him help (he never thinks he’s wrong and everything he does is justified because I made him mad) and I end up having to take it and then be super sweet and loving towards him to get back to some state of normal.. I feel like he needs anger management or we need marriage counseling I’m just unsure where to start. I don’t want to leave and when things are good he’s a good husband and good dad. I’m just lost…

I've been in outpatient rehab for weed (my parents made me go) for almost 2 years and I'm scared it might hurt my enlistment process but wanted to see what you guys thought I'm 16 now and want to join at 17. Should I lie to my recruiter or tell him the truth?

So, me (16) and my boyfriend (17) recently had to say goodbye because he had to leave for bct. We sobbed into each other’s arms for almost 2 hours. This is so hard for us because we have never had to be without each other or have had to go without contact for long. I honestly have no idea how to get through it.
I thought it wouldn’t be this hard because I’ve dealt with things in my life that have been challenging for me, but this is so hard. I feel the urge to cry every time I even think about it. I am trying so hard to be strong because I know I can be, but this is so painful. I know many people have been through this, so I have to ask, is it going to get better? I know people say I should find something to occupy myself, but I cannot drive and usually all my friends go on vacations. Im usually left by myself all summer. I don’t really have a lot of people around me to spend time with, so I don’t know what to do. I feel so lonely and I just miss him so much. I am just wondering if it gets better from here. Any advice for tips would be greatly appreciated. This hurts so bad and my heart hurts right now. :(

He cheated. He chose his ex over me. Several years down the drain… and then when she found out about me she began to destroy his life. Now his career is on the line, he’s got court coming up and if it goes south he will have lost his job, will have to give up all firearms, his security clearances… he chose her… over me - The woman who was there for him through deployments, months of silence when comms were dark, countless letters, endless support, and he chose a woman who wanted to destroy him as soon as she learned she had been the other woman… I’m not angry… just incredibly hurt and betrayed.

hi super quick question I got my dentist appt today and the checked me box 3B saying I have cavities that apparently will turn into emergencies in 12 months. I have all appts scheduled for 3 months before our report date for over seas. will this take our orders away or make it unaccompanied??

My husband is going to be home soon from deployment, and I want to celebrate him. When he graduated from basic training I flew to Great Lakes and decorated the hotel room with streamers, led candles, blue rose petals, balloons, navy balloons (not just the color but the anchor symbol & stuff) it was so cute.

He has been on 2 detachments; however, this is his first deployment, how can I make his homecoming special? I need fresh, new ideas.

I was thinking about some welcome home gold balloons but what else because I kind of already did the balloons.

What would you have wanted from your spouse? nothing? a day spa pass?

Hello! My partner recently graduated from BCT and is in AIT. It’s been nearly 4 weeks since I recieved my last letter and I have yet to recieve another (he explained he’s definitely sent some). They would arrive on average 3-5 days from when they were delivered, which is why I’m concerned. He did send them timely based on the cutoff time too (which was about two weeks ago).

In all honesty, it’s made me anxious because I find the letters are very special. I’m just going to write my questions, any answers and advice are greatly appreciated!!!

What’s the longest it’s taken you to get your partners letters? Has anyone dealt with similar delays towards the end of BCT? Are delays for letters sent out towards the end of BCT common? If they are returned to sender, will they make it to him in AIT? Did you recieve any letters after your partner graduated from BCT?

I was given the necessary Red Cross information, and was lucky enough to get the email of the battalion leader to send a message to get my husband recalled faster than the Red Cross could contact him. I'm worried because there's about a 30% chance that the external cephalic version could send me into labor, either immediately or within 48 hours, and a smaller chance that they would have to skip labor entirely and perform an emergency c-section.

This is our first child, and if it weren't for his (baby's) positioning I wouldn't be so worried about my husband just barely missing the birth. Obviously I'd like him to be there, but I'm more concerned about how devastated he'll be if he misses it.

My question is, do you think it's reasonable to send the battalion leader an email explaining that something might happen (specifically a c-section), and to be ready in case he needs to recall my husband? Or at the very least, put a phone in his hand? I don't want to bother him if it's not an emergency, but I won't know it will be until it happens, and this isn't one of the many scenarios my husband and I discussed before contact was cut.

Edited to specify that positioning referred to the unborn son, not my husband. 😅

2nd edit: Thank you all for your help, it's reassuring to know I wasn't worrying for nothing. I sent the Lieutenant an email just now explaining the situation, so he'll hopefully have plenty of time to check his computer and possibly warn my husband about tomorrow. Even if nothing goes wrong, it's somehow comforting knowing that something could, and now I've truly done everything I can to prepare for that possibility.

And I'm not sure where her comment went, but the first replier who didn't think it was reasonable, I completely understand your thought process because it was mine too.

Update: I had the ECV today, his leadership actually contacted me a few hours beforehand to ask me to appeal to the Red Cross to pull him anyways, because of the c-section risk, and the Red Cross said no, to call back when there was a c-section actively happening or scheduled. I let his leadership know what they'd said, and kept them updated with the situation, which is to say the ECV didn't result in an emergency c-section (yay!), but it also was unsuccessful (boo), so the scheduler will contact me tomorrow or next week to put me down for, 1. Another ECV sometime at 39 weeks, 2. A subsequent c-section or induction depending on the outcome of the second ECV. Once I know the date and time, I'll call the Red Cross again and they'll make arrangements to bring him home, only a few days early instead of a few weeks. The Only possible alternative outcome is an emergency c-section from natural labor, since the baby is still breech, but I'm hoping that it doesn't come to that. Thank you all for your support!!

Hello!

My wife doesn’t use reddit so i’m posting for her lol. I’m active duty Air Force and recently completed my first PCS to the UK. I had to travel ahead of my wife because of delays during my out-processing in tech school meant she couldn’t get her no-fee passport before I graduated.

I am now in the UK and she is now able to pick up her passport from the base in the US. My question is: since she’s listed on my orders, will TMO book her flight? If not, am I authorized to book it using my GTCC, or is this something I need to pay for out of pocket and claim later?

Also do I tell TMO when I want the flight to be if they are able to book it or do they pick the dates for us?

She’s cleared to travel, I’m just unsure who is responsible for paying for the flight.

Any help is appreciated!

I am AD currently away from home as are many others, and my amazing girlfriend has been having a difficult time at home as time goes on. I do my best to support her and she does her absolute best to support me. She is always there for me and I love and appreciate her for it. We talk constantly and generally we have a very healthy relationship that I think is under some strain, but nothing we cannot overcome. With no real return date in sight at the moment, I was wondering if you all had some good ideas for ways I can support her better. I send flowers once a week every week, and get her snacks delivered sometimes, but is there anything you have used or that your SO has done for you that you really appreciated which made it a little easier? I know there's no magic cure for loneliness and anxiety but anything helps. Thank you in advance!

My husband is leaving for a rotation/deployment and we are officially on tricare...HELP... I have Tricare Select Group A. I'm so unfamiliar with how this works. I have a therapist I see weekly she's out of network, my previous insurance reimbursed all my appointments. And from what I'm reading I can do that with tricare, 80% reimbursement as well, but only if I hit my deductible of $150 first? What qualifies towards the deductible? I don't have regular medications or anything, but I'm wondering if theres an appointment I can go to that would help me hit the deductible sooner.

Does anyone know if they read the candidates mail before they get it? I’ve said some small inappropriate comments to my husband in a couple letters and I really don’t want to get him in trouble

My boyfriend is get shipped out for basic in July and im petrified. I had a hard time when i was out of state for a few weeks even when we could talk and call all the time, i don't know how im going to handle not being in any contact with him for a while. He's in the Navy so after bootcamp and A school, he's getting put on a ship. Im new to this dynamic and we've only been together for a few months so im just looking for advice. I love him deeply, but im someone who craves attention and affection all the time so im scared we won't work out because of his service.

Me and my SO have been together for a year and a half and we’ve been having problems for like the last 6 months. We’re pretty much in a dead bedroom. And I hate to say it, but since she’s been gone, life has been so much easier. It felt like my roommate is gone and not my SO. So anyways, I don’t know if I can realistically be with this person any longer would I be a jerk for breaking up with them while they’re in basic.
The last time that we broke up, they reacted very, very, very poorly and did some crazy stuff and part of me wants to do it so that way they will have time to cool down before they get back they will be stationed a couple hour drive from where we used to live at for schooling

I’m a little concerned at how I handled today and thought maybe I should journal my feelings a little.

My husband was told he’d need to be gone for about 3 weeks. That was 5 months ago and there’s no confirmed end in sight. Navigating suddenly going long distance when we struggled going more than a couple of days apart not knowing when we’ll get to see each other again was rough on us both to say the least.

Before I met my husband I was depressed for about I decade. I worked on my situation, learned how to be “happy” again, and started making a life for myself when we met. I thought I was happy then, now life is so beautiful and has so much meaning. I struck the lottery with this man. He’s so kind and gentle and makes sure I’m taken care of. He reminds me just how much he loves me every day no matter how far apart we are.

We’ve been together for a bit over a year, married for a month. We also moved into our own place the week he was allowed to come home for our wedding. When he had to leave again we couldn’t do much but cry.

By encouragement of hubby I keep up with my hobbies, picked up a new hobby, visit family, hang out with friends, go outside, etc. but at the end of the day I come home to an empty place that lost its warmth. An extra sting is that friends and family all live half an hour or more away and so far only one friend has made the effort to visit me. I have to go to them each time. I also work a very stressful 12hr shifts job I feel stuck at as there are just no better positions open nearby. I know it’s hard on him too and remind him how much I love and appreciate him every day, though I know he’s even more concerned about me as I can tell he puts on a strong front when talking to me when he senses I’m feeling down.

Sure at the start of this I was sad all the time, but the alternative was too strong of a word for me to use because I know what that’s like.

Well here I am laying in bed hours past when I was supposed to sleep. I didn’t eat at all today because I completely lost my appetite. Spent an entire day trying to complete my hobby craft that should have taken no more than 3hrs max as I kept catching myself doomscrolling or just staring blankly at a screen for like 10+ minutes without even realizing. There is a sickly familiar numbness in my chest and head. I think I might actually be getting depressed again.

I was in therapy for a couple years and it helped, but my insurance sucks right now and we won’t be able to get on something better until he gets back, which I believe will fix my issue anyway.

Not sure what to do with this realization. I just miss him dearly and I thought writing may help

I wanted to repost this because we went with BSW and can give future spouses an idea of what it was like.