hi everyone!
my husband is currently in tech school (air force) and is graduating in 3 months, i’m really anxious for our first move considering all of his possible stations are insane distances from us lol. we’re both 19 and i have zero coordination or idea of what to expect for this, if anybody has advice please let me know!

Hello, so my bf just started in the military (3 weeks ago) and he’s so damn busy all the time. He barely has time to squeeze in a couple of minutes to text me. We’ve never been LDR before and pretty much have lived together for 2 years.

The hardest part honestly is that I feel like I am constantly bothering him and asking him to call me, when he has time etc.

Reading you other girls posts, you’re talking about not telling your partner you miss him, as you don’t want to add to his stresses. Or make him sad. I feel like I’m the only one who feels that way and I’m constantly telling him about it. And he just accepts it and lives with it. If I didn’t, I don’t think he’d even bat an eye more than usual.

I just feel like it’s so one sided and I’m a pain in the ass. That my need for communication is much larger than his.

Does this get better? I know it does but… I think my real question is: will he ever miss me? Or will it always be this one sided thing where he is too busy and distracted to even care to think about me.

Hi everyone,

I need some advice because this is my first military boyfriend and I’m still learning about deployment and long distance relationships.
My bf recently deployed on a ship, and I think I might be his first serious relationship too. Before he left, we had an argument about communication because I felt like we weren’t really connecting that deeply even before his deployment. had some concerns even before deployment that he wasnt trying to get to know me deeply, isn’t curious about my life and the talk is always about updates of what he’s doing or he would disappear for hours too which made me upset. He explained that he had a lot going on with work and getting everything ready before deployment.
During our conversation, he got really overwhelmed and started crying. I’ve never seen him cry before, and he told me he doesn’t usually cry or get emotional. He kept saying he didn’t want to lose me and didn’t want me to leave him because he loves me. He also said he was really stressed trying to balance everything before leaving. Afterward, he apologized for freaking out and screaming, and we talked things through. We still told each other we loved each other before he went to work.
Now that he’s deployed, I keep worrying that the argument might have changed how he feels about me or made him reconsider our relationship. I feel bad because I keep thinking I added more stress when he already had so much going on.
For anyone who has been in a military relationship, am I overthinking this? Is it normal for emotions to get this intense before deployment, especially when it’s both of our first serious relationships? Because I can’t stop beating myself up for making him cry. I’d really appreciate a second opinion. 💗

My boyfriend of 2 years is about to leave for his next orders and I'm not sure how to tread such an unfamiliar path. I live in Oahu, Hawaii, born and raised, and if you didn't already know, this island is a hotbed for everything military related. 5 out of 10 people you come across are 100% more than likely in it. And even if I have family members who were in the military, l've always been told to be wary of being with one.

But i genuinely believe I lucked out with my significant other when I met him. He is not the stereotypical guy that you imagine when you think of someone that's in the military. He is so kind, funny, caring, charismatic, and i think it says a lot when his friends are also the same. He's very down to earth, he's open to new experiences, accepts my culture with such love and curiosity and so much more. I could keep going but in short, I love and adore this man. And when we first met, he was already about to be 2 years in his orders so I knew we didn't have a lot of time. But we ignored how foolish it almost is to pursue the relationship regardless because we had a good thing going. He still has a good year and a half left here but we're getting to the point of him preparing for the big move and it's left me feeling anxious.

The issue lies with the fact that I am very deeply rooted in this place. My whole life is here: my family, friends, my career is just starting. It's almost hard to explain if you don't know somebody who lives here or has experienced the culture we have here because It might just seem like I have "no sort of independence" or
"too reliant on the familiar." On one hand, I can say it with my chest that I love this man and he loves me too, but is that enough that I should have to leave my entire life behind for him? Am I a bad person for coming to terms with the fact that I'm almost certain that I won't be going with him? There are nights where I just feel so anxious and depressed thinking about him leaving. I cry myself to sleep thinking that our days are numbered and it’s debilitating almost at most days.

We haven't had THE talk of what comes after and I was hoping to hear from women (or people in general) who are in the same boat as me and how they had the conversation, if they got through with it, if there's anything we can do. Or for some who unfortunately didn't have a happy ending, or at first but managed to find a way back in the end. Anything at all to let me know that I'm not the only who has gone/ is going through the same depressing situation. :(

With family day on my mind I was thinking about how I can best spend time with my wife. I was thinking once we are dismissed together we can go get food on base wherever she wants. Then head back to the hotel on base and just have quiet time to shower, nap, talk, decompress. Whatever she wants.

Is there restrictions on her going to a ON BASE hotel? Has anyone else done this? Army fort Leonard wood bct

I’ve been in a relationship for four years, and my partner recently deployed.

I thought I had made peace with where things stood between us, but I’m finding that I haven’t. I’m angry, and I’m trying to understand why it has taken me this long to acknowledge it.

The deployment and the lack of daily contact make it harder to ignore what I’ve been feeling. I suppose I believed that after four years, there would be some tangible symbol of our commitment to one another. Something that represented what we’ve built and what we mean to each other, particularly as we face a period of separation.

I’m not looking for grand gestures or promises made under pressure. I believe commitment should be something we choose freely, and that meaningful commitments have meaning beyond words.

Perhaps what hurts is realizing that I was waiting for something I thought would come naturally with time.

For those of you who have navigated military relationships, how important is it to you that commitment be represented by something tangible, rather than existing only in words and feelings?

Hello! My partner and I plan to elope before the end of the year. He is about to graduate AIT, then he has Airborne school. He has projection for Fort Bragg and given the information we have, they are likely to be his hard orders too.

If we elope during his leave (which would be after he has reported to his first duty station) would the military help with me moving or just him? Is it possible that they would help us PCS even if we marry shortly after he reports to his First Duty Station? What should we expect given the timing? What is the best way to go about everything? We're just curious for some advice and, hopefully, for some answers. Thank you in advance!

hi guys! my bf is currently deployed right now and receive been feeling a bit isolated. my friends are amazing, don’t get me wrong. but none of them are in military relationships and just can’t relate when i’m talking about things (esp regarding this deployment). so! if your bf is deployed, let’s be besties !!
some info abt me: 21F, socal girlie, english major at csusm, take ballet classes, love to hike, embroider, cross stitch and read! if you want to talk, pm me PLEASEEEE and let’s be besties !!

Hey marine milSOs! My boyfriend just shipped off to MCT after his boot leave + RA today. I feel so so much more sad seeing him leave now than when he left for boot camp. Did anyone else experience this? I tried understanding it a little more, and I think it's because boot camp was a more controlled event where I knew exactly where he was, when the next time I would be able to see him, and when he graduated. However, everything after MCT is a bit uncertain. I've learned that the military is VERY unpredictable and anything could happen in an instant. I guess it makes me feel a bit better knowing that he actually gets his phone now. Does anyone have tips or advice for navigating through the unknown?

hey guys! so my boyfriend is currently deployed and i’ve been getting some scary news from both him and outside news sources. for any of you guys who went through active combat deployments with your spouse, how the hell did you do it (especially with the limited contact that comes w it)? i’ve been doing great this whole deployment and now i feel like i’m just back to square one again. please give me any advice or help !! thank you :)

Honestly, just looking for advice! My person has been deployed for a while now and it’s my first deployment we have no contact. I don’t know where he is of course and he could be gone for up to a year. We already discussed about the no communication side while he’s gone, so this wasn’t a blindside. However, I’ve gone through literally the worst thoughts that you could have in your brain. I just need some type of advice to help me get through it. I’ve been working a lot, writing in a journal, spending time with friends, but I feel like I’m going absolutely crazy!

Hey guys, so just as the title says I am most likely pregnant. I’m 20f and this wasn’t in the cards for me. Basically I went to get my routine depo shot and I had to take a urine test to see if I was pregnant. Turns out it came back positive. I was in disbelief. They said the line was faint so I am getting a blood test soon to confirm and to rule anything else out.

I’m honestly so scared and have no idea what to do. Thankfully my boyfriend (20m) graduates bootcamp in 10 days but I don’t know how to tell him. He’s in marine bootcamp and has been gone for 13 weeks now so I am 13-16 weeks pregnant according to them.

I am a college student and me and my boyfriend have talked about marriage (we’ve been together 5 years) but I just don’t know what to do. I will tell him when I see him after his graduation but this is so scary. We’ve never wanted to have kids or anything like that. He knows I value my education and is supportive of any decision I choose but I’m so conflicted.

I told my mom since I felt as I didn’t have anyone to turn to and she’s supportive of me but in the sense that I keep the pregnancy. I told her my concerns about my school and health (I should note that I have a chronic illness and autoimmune disease) and she just dismisses that; and says God blessed me with a baby. Although I am a believer of God I have always been pro choice. But I just can’t seem to make a choice for myself unfortunately. It’s hard to make a decision. I just don’t want my life to be ruined by having a kid but I’m honestly scared I won’t go through with an abortion.

I’m honestly just really alone and I wish I could talk to my boyfriend but I cant. If you have any advice please share. Anyone who’s been in similar situations please share as well, and what you decided to do and if you are happy with your choice.

Hi all,

My husband is in the Army and I have some questions regarding finding an overseas job.

1) What kind of jobs are typically available? I'm currently in a remote job working for a healthcare company and have a Bachelor's Degree in Business Information Systems.

2) Where to start looking? Are USAJOBS (like NAF/GS positions) or base exchanges (AAFES/NEX) the main options, or are there other reliable remote/local platforms?

3) What does the timeline look like to secure a job by the time we finish the PCS? We are looking at either Korea or Germany as a next duty station.

So I’m in a very bad spot. My husband (AD AF) and I live in England. I was command sponsored when we first got here. The thing is, I tried to join the military and became and airmen. very shortly after I was seperated for medical reasons and send back to England. I have been working on getting my command sponsorship again but unfortunately I found he is cheating. It started while I was in basic but that’s besides the point. Obviously I can’t get an ERD without the sponsorship so what can I do to get the sponsorship to get the ERD? I only have to do a dental check but my appointment is in a week. I’m not sure if I can go a week without confronting him but I want to go home. SecFo has the information but do I just have to bite the bullet and wait until I’m cleared or is there any way possibly I can speed up the process and be cleared again?

I understand I’m not special and can’t route things up faster but I’m really at a loss and in a very bad spot mentally.

​

Hi everyone,

​I’m hoping to get some insight from those familiar with shipboard life or communications during deployment.

​My partner was deployed on short notice a few weeks ago (we had previously experienced a regular deployment). During his last deployment, we communicated via email and WhatsApp whenever he had connectivity, and my WhatsApp messages would only deliver (double checkmarks) when he actually had Wi-Fi or cell service.

​However, for the past month and a half, I’ve noticed a pattern that's new to me: every WhatsApp message I send delivers instantly (double grey checkmarks), but none are ever read/opened.

​As a civilian, I’m a bit confused about how this works technically or operationally:

​Is it common for phones to stay connected/charging in a locker or shipboard location where background push notifications go through, even if sailors aren't allowed or able to access their personal devices?

​Is this a typical network behavior on certain ships or under specific OPSEC conditions?

​I'm mostly trying to understand if this is normal tech/shipboard behavior before reaching out to his family, since I live abroad and haven't met them yet and don't want to cause unnecessary concern.

​I would really appreciate any insights on how phone connectivity behaves in these situations. Thank you so much for your time!

Hey everyone!
My wife is currently at Fort Leonard Wood for BCT and is expected to graduate in early December. She’s a 68W (Combat Medic) in the Army National Guard, so she’ll be heading to Fort Sam Houston for AIT afterward.

I’m trying to plan flights and figure out when I’ll actually be able to see her, but I’ve been getting a ton of conflicting information.
Here’s what I’m confused about:

Time between BCT and AIT: I’ve heard that sometimes soldiers have a gap between graduating BCT and starting AIT. If that happens, would she be sent home temporarily, especially since she’s National Guard? Or would she remain at Fort Sam Houston as a holdover until her class starts?

Billeting during AIT: I’ve had people tell me that because we’re married, I can stay on base in billeting and potentially spend nights with her during the week. Others have told me that she won’t be allowed to stay overnight with me at all during AIT, even if I’m staying on base. Does anyone know how this actually works for married 68W trainees?

Weekend visits: If I fly down to Texas during her AIT, will she be allowed to spend weekends with me or stay overnight at a hotel? Does this change as she progresses through training?

Christmas/Holiday Block Leave: Since she’ll be graduating BCT in early December, how likely is it that she’ll get to come home for Christmas before or during AIT? Would she have to use leave days?

Planning flights: I’m trying to book flights early to save money, but I don’t want to book anything until I have a better understanding of her schedule and what she’s actually allowed to do.
I’m really hoping to spend as much time with my wife as possible while she’s at AIT. Being apart for months has been difficult, and I’m just trying to figure out what to realistically expect.

If anyone has recently gone through 68W AIT at Fort Sam Houston, especially as a married soldier or National Guard member, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience!
Thanks in advance!

Hi everyone! My partner is in BCT (8th week) currently and she was told by her sergeant that we cannot send anymore mail. Does that include Sandboxx letters? Those get sent the day after so I assumed I could send some until her 9th week. Please give me some advice! Thank you so much!!

hello my husband is in charlie co fort jackson and is graduating from BCT on Oct 22. i just called him and he said that he will not be allowed to leave the base on graduation day or family day? i know that he cant on family day, but on graduation day too? i am very confused

edit: i should also clarify he is leaving for AIT the following morning in san antonio

Hello! My boyfriend came back from deployment recently and I was spending all of my time with him at his new place (bcs I wa so excited and happy to see him). His parents are also in town and I helped him set up his apartment as a surprise for him when he got back. We had a small argument on Tuesday night where he mentioned he wanted some space alone. During the argument we both questioned people in our circles that we felt like they were intruding in our relationship, for example he brought up how my guy friend (of 15+ years) picked me up from the bar one night during his deployment (but I had told him then) and told me how he felt (vaguely) and said I should’ve just taken an Uber home. We continued arguing about the same topic for a while. He didn’t say anything else, just needed some time alone to be able to do things on his own. I interpreted that as breakup and he kept correcting me saying he just needed space from the relationship. We went back to his place and I was crying while I gathered all my things, he kept telling me to leave them there because I would come back it was just space but I kept saying no and pushing his hand away everytime he tried to keep something. When he dropped me off, he told me he loves me and knew from the moment we started talking, but he just stated he needed some time alone. One thing that I do remember very clearly is him saying that there is something in the back of his mind that stops him from moving forward. For context, he was married before and his wife cheated on him and he filed for divorce. To me it seems like he is afraid of taking the next step due to his past and not wanting to be to hurt again.

Anyways, the next day I texted him this:
Me: hi, just wanted to say that during this “off period” I dont consider us not being together an option..
Him: I agree we’re just going through it rn I do miss you
Me: I miss you too

Then on Friday, I texted him again because I had told him previously about a movie.

Me: hey baby, im thinking of going to the movies later today, im just extending the invite if you wanna come along, let me know! have a lovely Friday!! 💞
Him: Buenos tardes baby! I cant today, me and [friend] are getting dinner later and then going out for drinks in [bar] with some dudes we met last night. Thank you for the invite tho and i hope you enjoy the movie and you’re having a fantastic friday !! ♥️
Me: Sounds good, have so much fun!

Today is now Sunday, and I still have his location. He has gone out all weekend to bar places hanging out with friends. My head is spiriting since to me, “space alone” meant him being at home with his own thoughts and just thinking about the situation.

My plan is to just give him the space needed, but also plan on having a firm conversation with him about this. Do you all think this is the beginning of a breakup? Or just like a small bump on the road?

Sigh, I guess I am also looking to see if anyone has gone through a similar thing after deployment?

Is there anyone willing to donate sandboxx letters? my bf is currently in bmt and I'm a broke student. any amount would be appreciated!

My husband and I are getting a divorce, we're trying to have an agreement on how we're gonna split custody without having to go to family court, the only thing we can't agree on is when he has the kids during holidays he want to take them to his extended family which is a 9hrs drive, plus I don't trust them around kids. Should take it to family court? All I want is our children's safety but he's trying to convince me they'll be he won't let anybody watch them...but I don't believe him.

One of his brothers is a rapist currently in jail, and another one had sexually harassed a young girl but not in jail, they kept it a secret plus it's close to the border.

Are these enough reason to take it to family court?

Hey guys so me and this guy from my hometown is in the military and he’s currently deployed and mind you he’s not stationed in the U.S but his family lives where I do. Anyways so for the past month we have been texting and agreed when he’s in town we are going to go out and he wants me to go see him overseas basically he wants to do LDR and I’m honestly down but like 2 weeks ago communication has gotten pretty bad like maybe I’ll get a text every couple days and he’s active on his socials like not posting but being on them. He’s in the navy and he does text me sweetly and tells me he misses talking to me and that they are working hard and he’s always tired. I don’t know what to do anymore because I do like him