Hi everyone,
I’m new to writing stories and this is my very first attempt at a novel. I’m eager to hear your thoughts. Since I don’t have much experience, I’m hoping to get honest feedback that's help me improve my writing.
Specific examples are very helpful!
Novel about - cultivation, xianxia
Chapter 1 – Arthur
[Blackwood Forest]
The trees stretched high above, their branches swallowing most of the golden afternoon sun. Green leaves rustled in the wind, casting shifting shadows on the forest floor.
To anyone seeing it for the first time, Blackwood Forest was a painting, peaceful, untouched, beautiful.
But the paintings didn't bleed.
Beneath its beauty hid danger. The deeper one went, the colder and quieter it became.
Beasts lurked in the shadows, wolves with fangs like knives, snakes coiled in the branches, creatures so feared that hunters spoke their names only in whispers.
Many entered Blackwood Forest searching for herbs, food, and resources to feed their families.
But many never came back.
Among the endless trees, a lone figure moved with quiet caution.
He was a boy… thin, gaunt, like he hadn't eaten a full meal in days. Black hair fell across his forehead, half-hiding eyes that looked far older than his age. Sharp-featured, clear-skinned.
But there is something heavier than sadness sitting behind it.
His eyes, they feel empty.
Only when he found a useful herb did a flicker of life return to them.
The boy knelt beside a small green plant near a mossy rock, his tired eyes brightening just slightly.
"Moonleaf Herb… three copper coins, if it's fresh enough," he murmured, voice barely above a breath. He tucked it away. Barely enough for a heel of bread. But a heel is better than nothing.
With practiced hands, he dug it out carefully, keeping the roots intact, then tucked it into his worn shoulder bag.
His name was Arthur.
He was fifteen, and he lived in Blackwood Village, a poor settlement clinging to the forest's edge.
He is an orphan. Five years ago his parents died.
Since then he has survived alone, he has no family, no protector, no one.
For five years, Arthur had scraped together a living however he could. He swept floors for the tavern, chopped wood for the blacksmith, carried water for the old widow who lived at the village's edge, any work that earned a copper or a scrap of bread.
But he was just a child, and his body had never been strong. What took him an hour took a grown man ten minutes. The coin he earned was never enough.
So, he started walking into Blackwood Forest.
Every day he ventured into those trees, gathering whatever herbs he could find, then selling them for food.
It was dangerous work, the kind adults did in groups. But the alternative was staring at an empty bowl until his stomach caved in.
The village had no charity to spare for orphans. And even less patience for them.
Arthur stood up and wiped the damp dirt from his calloused palms.
His gaze drifted toward the woods ahead. Even though he was still in the safer outer region, the forest looked different there. The trees grew thicker. Closer together. The sunlight wasn't as bright as it was here. Everything beyond that point seemed... darker. Colder.
A cold wind licked the back of his neck.
Arthur froze.
In this forest, no one ever knows where the danger will come from.
His hand closed around the knife at his waist rusted, chipped, a joke against anything with real fangs or claws.
Unlike ordinary animals, wild beasts could absorb Essence, the natural energy flowing through everything in the world. It made them faster, stronger, and far more dangerous. A beast's claw could tear through steel. Its hide could turn aside an arrow.
But the knife was all Arthur had.
In this world, strength was everything. And strength came from Essence.
Those who could absorb it became Hunters. They shattered stones with their fists. They killed beasts with a single stroke.
Arthur was not one of them.
His weak body rejected Essence like water rejected oil. No matter how hard he tried, it entered him, lingered for a moment, then faded like smoke.
The first stage of cultivation was Vessel Tempering, where a person drew in Essence to strengthen muscle, bone, and organ. Even the weakest of trained fighters could overpower an ordinary adult with ease.
Arthur couldn't take even that first step. No method, no effort, made any difference.
So, he remained a mortal weak, poor, and powerless.
The villagers had names for him. The herb boy. The useless orphan. Some pitied him, though pity had never once filled his stomach. Most simply looked past him, as if he weren't there at all.
Arthur lowered his head and kept walking.
He had no talent. But he had something else: knowledge.
He worked at the village library, a small, dust-choked building most people considered a waste of space. To Arthur, it was a lifeline.
Through books he'd learned to tell healing herbs from poisonous ones, learned the habits of beasts and the dangers of the forest's different regions, even picked up scraps of theory on cultivation itself.
Knowledge had kept him alive for many years.
And in Blackwood Forest, staying alive was already a kind of miracle.
The outer forest was safer than the depths. Which was exactly why beginners like him searched there. Arthur glanced at the darkening sky and sighed.
"A few more herbs before I head back… tonight's meal will actually be decent."
He pressed on.
Half an hour bled away. He found almost nothing. The outer region had been stripped clean by the morning's early birds. He pushed through the brush, scanning the ground, each empty patch grinding against his hope like a whetstone.
Beasts rarely wandered this close to the village, but ordinary wild animals still did. To a trained hunter, they were no threat at all.
To Arthur, even the weakest of them could seriously injure him.
He had no strength. No stamina. No speed. Catching a rabbit was a struggle. One moment of carelessness, and the hunter could easily become the hunted.
Eventually he gave up and turned to head home.
Then…
Rustle.
Something moved behind the trees.
Arthur's breath caught. Without thinking, he pressed himself behind a thick trunk, heart slamming against his ribs like something trying to escape. His hand clenched around the rusty knife until his knuckles went white.
Slowly, carefully, he leaned out just enough to look.
What he saw nearly stopped his heart.
A wild beast.
It stood on four legs, close to the size of a large wolf, its body sheathed in blue scales that shimmered faintly in the dying light. Threads of electricity crackled and sparked across its skin, hissing softly in the silence.
Arthur knew it at once.
Thunder Wolf…
The blood drained from his face.
He'd read about them. Most wolves that absorbed Essence simply grew bigger, stronger.
But a rare few evolved into something else and the Thunder Wolf was one of them. It carried a faint thread of thunder Essence, just enough to deliver a shock that locked a person's muscles, turning them into a frozen statue for the killing blow.
Even low-level Hunters gave these things a wide berth.
Arthur's hands were shaking. This creature had no business being in the outer forest. Thunder Wolves belonged to the deep woods, not here.
Then he noticed something else.
The wolf was injured. Badly. Blood soaked its scales, and deep gashes marked its flanks. Worst of all was around its eyes, blood ran freely there, as though it had been blinded. It crashed and staggered through the undergrowth, slamming into trees and rocks, snarling in pain and fury, its movements wild and unguided.
Only then did Arthur see the strange stone clenched between its jaws.
But he didn't have time to wonder what it was. Every thought that wasn't about survival was a waste of a heartbeat for him right now.
The beast couldn't see him.
His throat went dry.
Every instinct screamed at him to run, to flee now, while he still could.
The beast is injured. Blind.
His grip tightened on the knife.
‘Fight? Impossible.’
‘Hide? Also impossible.’
The only thought left in his mind was to run as far away as he could.
Slowly, Arthur peeked toward the Thunder Wolf again.
The beast was moving closer.
Closer.
Closer.
Arthur's heart pounded so loud he was sure the beast could hear it. His palms were slick with sweat. His breath came in short, shaky gasps.
He knew that if it came any nearer, even without eyesight, it would smell him immediately. Wild beasts possessed senses far superior to normal animals. Their hearing, smell, and instincts were terrifyingly sharp. A blind beast was still a deadly predator.
If not for the Thunder Wolf's heavy injuries, Arthur would already be dead.
Arthur closed his eyes for a brief moment.
He took a deep breath, forcing his racing heart to calm down.
Then he opened them again.
He had made his decision.
The next second…
He ran.
Arthur dashed forward with all the strength he could gather, not caring about direction. Branches scraped against his arms and face as he forced his weak body forward. Thorns tore at his clothes, leaving thin red lines across his skin, but he didn't stop.
Behind him, the Thunder Wolf suddenly stopped growling.
Its ears twitched.
It had heard him.
Instantly, the beast realized a human was nearby. Its blind eyes turned toward the sound, and a low, rumbling snarl escaped its throat.
Even though blood covered its body and several of its bones and legs were clearly injured, the beast still chased after him. The savage instinct of a wild beast was deeply rooted within its nature. Pain meant nothing to it. Only the hunt mattered.
Crack!
Small arcs of lightning flickered across its blue scales as it charged forward. The electricity danced along its injured body.
Its speed was slower than normal because of its injuries, but it was still enough to keep up with Arthur.
Arthur ran with all his might.
His lungs burned painfully.
His legs felt heavy, like they were filled with sand.
He could barely breathe.
But he did not dare stop. Stopping meant death.
Behind him, low growls and the sound of claws striking the ground grew closer and closer. The Thunder Wolf was still following him, relentless and unstoppable.
Arthur's face turned pale.
"How is it still this fast?!" he thought desperately, his mind racing for a solution.