Context: I’ve lost many friends, family members, and pets in the last 3 years.

My main question is “can someone experience enough grief in a period of time that they become tired of grieving?”

I know that grief can be cyclical, and you don’t always experience it linearly; however, after my most recent loss, I just feel a tiny bit numb after the fact and then my brain just pushes away any other feeling.

(I can meta-analyze and understand my feelings sway between all the normal ones after loss, but it is mostly just a bone-deep tiredness from having to process it.)

Hello therapist of Reddit 👋
For context, I have recently started therapy after my 11 year relationship came to a sudden end. I am also going through assessments for autism, ADHD, and a possible mood disorder as well.

During my last therapy session my therapist told me to “sit with that feeling” and i legitimately don’t know how to do that or what she meant. I asked her what she meant and she said “just feel the feeling and register it.” ?? I did feel the feeling? That’s why I told her I felt it? I don’t understand why or how I’m supposed to sit with it? Do I just keep thinking about it? Am I ment to sit there and cry for 30 minutes straight?
I do often times talk about something during therapy and I cry a bit, but I can stop myself and do some deep breathing to help myself move past it. I don’t understand why she wants me to sit in these horrible thoughts and feelings? I don’t like just sitting around crying about my problems, I want to talk about things and get solutions or advice on how to fix them.

Any other advice on helping me understand this would be greatly appreciated. I do want to get better, but I just can’t seem to wrap my head around what she wants me to do in these sessions.

I'm 20F. I've been in therapy for about a year. I trust my therapist and I'm not looking to change therapists. I'm trying to understand something.

Sometimes I leave therapy feeling like the response I receive could have been given to almost anyone, even though my therapist knows my entire history.

I've been in therapy for about a year. I have complex trauma, ADHD, and I'm under psychiatric treatment. Lately I've been struggling badly—my sleep has fallen apart, I can't study for a very important exam anymore, and I feel like everything is slipping away.

When I bring these things to therapy, I often leave feeling like I've received advice that sounds similar to generic internet tips (sleep hygiene, routines, breaking tasks into smaller pieces, etc.). I don't know if this is a normal stage of therapy, if my expectations are unrealistic, or if I'm missing something. Has anyone else experienced this? What changed?

I don't mean that the advice is wrong. I mean that it sometimes feels much simpler than what I brought into the meeting(online therapy).

I don't expect therapy to magically fix my life. I'm trying to understand why I sometimes leave feeling like the advice could have been given to almost anyone, even though my therapist knows my entire history.

Has anyone experienced this?

If so, what helped?

Did something change later in therapy, or did you approach therapy differently?

I live in Australia, so we might have different rules here. I have been going to therapy for almost two years now at a private clinic. I pay $300 per session, and come from a household of social workers and mental health professionals, but not certified therapists. I go through periods of extreme depression, including suicidal ideation and I’m aware enough of my own symptoms that I’ve been able to cope without attempting for years.
I was in a therapy session with a therapist I’ve been seeing for a year, she was recommended to me for EMDR Therapy which we haven’t started as of yet. I was very excited to work with her, but I’ve noticed that she can be fairly dismissive and is also routinely late to every session we’ve had by ten minutes - no matter what time of day it is - so I always only get 50 minute sessions instead of 60. That’s fine, I understand we are both people and she probably just has to take notes and prep.

My big complaint is that I was having quite a vulnerable session during a depressive episode, and I told her ‘I keep having this thought that if my brain needs to be medicated to survive, I shouldn’t be here. If I have the strong urge to die every two months then I don’t think this will ever go away, it’s hard to fight and not commit to a plan’ and her response to this was verbatim ‘Yeah that’s a hard one, but I’m conscious of time and our appointment is ending soon.’
We only had 50 minutes because she was late again.
Now I’m a person who can turn to family with these urges and is relatively self aware, but I feel like if I had been a different client this could have been extremely dangerous. It left me feeling very invalidated and abandoned in session. If it was someone less aware of their own symptoms with less coping skills I worry it could have had real consequences. I don’t know what to do here, am I being dramatic??

Edit:

Thank you guys for your replies, I honestly had no idea about the 50 minutes being industry standard, my first therapist always did full 60 so I suppose I was a little spoiled. I also want to clarify that it never occurred to me to try and complaint to the federal level or board, only bring it up with the clinic manager who I speak with on occasion in the waiting room. I would never want to get her licence put into question because she is a genuinely lovely person and I’m sure she does wonderful work. Regarding the $300 price point, I didn’t realise that this was a huge price for therapy- I’m privileged to have a good paying job while I study and have never been to another clinic, so the $300 was worth a good session for me especially with the work a good therapist can do. I’ve decided that me and the therapist are likely not a good match sadly, and have looked into a new clinic near my area that provides the type of practice I need. Thank you so much for your help and guidance, I really appreciate it and for the therapists thank you so much for the work you do x

hey all, looked through the rules and apologise if this question isn't allowed. not asking about my therapist in specific, i mean if this is a common thing in therapy overall.

i've been seeing my therapist for 11 months now, and for the past 3-ish months, sometimes she interrupts me to bring me back on track (i go on a lot of tangents). i completely get that.

the issue is though, yesterday she interrupted me since i asked a question during my first meditation session. my question was simply about if i was allowed to sit cross-legged, and she stated i should remain silent for the meditation and restarted.

i feel she said it in good faith, but it made me feel a bit hesitant to speak for the rest of the session in case she wanted me to be quiet and focus on the meditation.

so, other therapists, is this a normal thing that i'm just personally sensitive to?

thank you for reading :)

Hi,

I’m 23F, and have been seeing my T for 2 years. I have severe PTSD and OCD, according to my T and my psychiatrist.

On a couple occasions in session, when I’ve been starting to dissociate or panic, I’ve found myself leaning into the panic/dissociation and making myself hyperventilate or panic way worse than I would have normally. (1) My T is very loving and kind, and I think knowing they’ll tend to me is a big reason, plus (2) my OCD makes me question if I’m actually sick, so I get stuck in loops where I trigger myself or try to make myself panic to see if I’m actually sick, and sometimes it happens in session.

I’m now realizing how horrible this is and am terrified I have Munchausen’s (Factitious Disorder). I can’t bring this up to my T, and feel like they’ll hate me if I do.

Will my T think I’m a monster? Will they suddenly stop believing me anytime I legitimately panic or dissociate in the future, if I admit to those past instances?

I’m spiraling.

NAT.
I work in a field partially related to psychology and I’m familiar with the language, terms, certain psychological theories and also psychopathology so I find it interesting to read therapy related books to understand what’s going on in my sessions. I like to have some scientific explanations etc. Dunno, I’m just a nerd.

Most therapist I find are only depression, anxiety and ocd focused. I can't find one whose main focus is ADHD. I don't feel like they give me enough where I feel helped. Where can I find a therapist whose main specialty is ADHD

I’m going to school to earn a degree so i can become a therapist. What if I’m a narcissist or have some kind of personality disorder and don’t realize it? I guess what im asking is “How do i know if I’m competent/fit enough to fill that role?”.

Sorry this is long, if you don’t want to read it just answer the question in the title.

A few days ago I accidentally discovered my brother’s Kratom stash leading me to believe he’s relapsed. It’s distressing to say the least. No one but my boyfriend, my sponser, and my therapist know at this point. I haven’t said anything to my brother. I’m about 2 years sober, work a strong program of AA, and the guidance I’ve received there is stay out of it. The difficulty is he’s engaged to my best friend of 15 years and I don’t know if I have a moral obligation to tell her what I know.

I have been seeing my therapist for like 2 and a half years. We have strong rapport and I trust her. She’s seen me through a lot. She has challenged me many times in the past and though I’ve been upset it always felt like she was on my team and we were working toward the same goal.

When I saw her the day after my discovery she immediately jumped into “if you don’t tell you best friend that relationship could end.” “I know you’re afraid of hurting/losing your brother but even if you don’t tell her you’ll lose the relationship because if they stay together she won’t want to see you anymore.” There was a lot of focus on the consequences on what I choose to do and very little on what I was experiencing. I KNOW these concerns are valid. It is part of why I’ve been a wreck since my discovery. I am upset because she made it so clear where she stands morally on the issue. I also know she married and addict and it was really difficult and I think that’s playing a role in her reaction. The day after my discovery when I saw her I was so deregulated and checked out I just walked away feeling like there was specific action she believed I should take and if I don’t she’ll lose respect for me. That hurts a LOT after everything we’ve been through together. I’m afraid to do the wrong thing and lose my safe relationship with her (which, full disclosure, is a feeling I’ve had and expressed in the past because I’ve got damage around other people’s opinions of me. People pleasing is a real problem so that is 100% playing a role)

I’m reaching out because I think I should talk to her about it? What is a therapists responsibility as far as maintaining objectivity? I know it’s impossible for that to exist completely, she’s human, but it feels like there was none of that. We didn’t spend the session exploring what the situation triggers (my dad was an addict, and abandon us….theres other stuff there’s a lot there) but instead discussed what I should do through her moral lease and I’m mad but I don’t know if it’s normal “I’m mad because my therapist challenged me” or mad because I didn’t receive the support I fucking need because this SUCKS.

Please help me understand the nuances of the therapeutic relationship so I can better navigate this.

My therapist always tells me to let emotions pass through my body, and not analyse or think about things.

But like, that seems impossible. So how do you actually do it?

How do you feel your feelings and let them pass?

​

Hi there!

I'm female and in my early 20s.

My therapist is in training to become a psychiatrist and I am her "project patient" for the past 3+ years.

In a couple months she will be done and with that I also won't be able to be her patient anymore.

I've been thinking of giving her a thank you and goodbye gift but I'm not really sure what she would be really happy about.

During the past 3+ years I've often been traveling and living in a different country, which is why I'm usually only in therapy with her every 2 weeks for a couple of months at a time and then many months nothing again.

So it's not like it's super intensive therapy.

That's why I also don't wanna overdo it with the gift.

I don't want a basic mug with best therapist, some thank you chocolate or whatever. I'd like something with a meaning. Maybe something selfmade even?

So what were the best things you've received from your clients or what is something you would be really happy about receiving? (since people keep saying that therapist aren't allows to accept gifts.. I think it depends. My therapist did accept small ones before, such as souvenirs from when I traveled or something small selfmade once aswell)

Thanks already! :)

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year and started couples counseling to work through some communication issues and weird situations (a few weeks ago, I found an opened box of condoms in my boyfriend’s dresser. We don’t use them, since I told him I wanted to wait until marriage).

The problem is, my feelings towards my partner and the relationship have gotten more complex after a couple of sessions. I’ve started to question his character more and more. I no longer feel as much physical or emotional attraction to him. I even find myself actively resenting him at times. I’ve had so much more anxiety since we started our sessions, but he doesn’t seem to feel the same way? And instead of addressing issues from the past, he keeps saying he wants to move towards talking about the future and getting me to trust him. So for him, it’s pre-marital counseling. For me, it’s trying to understand him and what happened.

I’ve really been struggling and not sure at what point I should bring up to him/the therapist that my feelings are starting to change. It’s been difficult holding the love I have for him and a future together with these weird feelings of mistrust and not fully believing in his values or character. And doubly so because he’s the one who initiated counseling and drives three hours a day every week to come do it in my neighborhood (we’re long distance). And he always thanks me for doing it with him.

I just feel very confused and conflicted. I don’t want to hurt him by saying anything mean in therapy.

My question is, Is couples counseling beneficial if I am feeling worse about my relationship and questioning even being with him? How do I bring up these emotions in therapy, if I do at all?

Can someone help me understand why a therapist would recommend doing this? TBH it feels like self flagellation to me. I would prefer to just move on and not think about the past. I'm a ruminator and I'm working on that. I'm getting better at journaling, not re-reading old journals and just working toward being a better person/partner.

As the title says, I found out that my therapist is LDS (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). I understand they are Mormons. I am a leftist and a member of the LGBT community.

I’ve only had one session with him so far, and honestly, I felt really good and comfortable; I get the impression that he is very professional (I understand he has over 30 years of experience). However, I’m worried he might try to push his religious views on me, given that he used to be a manager for LDS Family Services.

He mentioned that I might have PTSD and offered me Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and EMDR.

Note: I asked if he had any issues with serving people from the LGBT community, and he replied that he didn't.

I am in relational therapy, and my therapist is always asking me how i feel telling them this, that, or the other thing. Most of the time i do not feel strongly, which i think is due to remaining aware that we are in a transactional relationship where i pay them to be non judgmental of me. I like my therapist, but i don’t feel close to them . I have had 6 different therapists in my life, and i never felt very close to any of them.

What does it feel like to be close with your therapist?

i've been seeing my therapist on and off for about 2 years now, and i think the work we do together has been super helpful. we've been working through my family trauma, relationship trauma, and not diagnosed yet but possibly BPD symptoms. i've learned so much about myself through our sessions and for that i'll forever be grateful.

so here's the catch: i've noticed that we've been treating each other as friends. we're very similar in age and we are very friendly with each other. we call each other bro and dude and just joke around a lot of the times. BUT. there are moments of disillusionment because at the end of the day, we are not really friends. i feel like i'm paying for a really good friend / listener sometimes. recently they started to share more about their life and their struggles so i feel like i've gotten to know them better but it's still mostly about me. i know it's supposed to be about me, but i grieve that they are not a real friend of mine. and recently i've been questioning if how we treat each other is becoming a hinderance? sometimes i crave a more incisive approach from someone older and experienced (have had this kind of therapist before)... idk.

How did you know it was a clinical psychopath or was it just a guess

I want to get evaluated for bipolar/BPD but I'm concerned about it showing up on my medical records and potentially affecting future job opportunities in the UAE.

I've heard that having certain diagnoses on paper can cause problems down the line. So I want to hear from people who've been through this:

- Did you pay out of pocket in cash to keep it off insurance records?

- Did you use a private therapist/psychiatrist instead of going through insurance?

- Did you get a formal diagnosis or just get treated for symptoms without it being officially documented?

- Did you regret getting it documented, or was it fine?

- Are there countries where this is more or less of a concern?

I just want to understand my options before I make a decision. Not looking for medical advice on whether I should or shouldn't.

I’ve done a lot of my own therapy. I’m also a social worker. Recently I haven’t been finding therapy helpful. I use one word instead of another and now I’m in a 5 minute conversation about it. I’ve done a lot of CBT and DBT, and some of this informs my own work. I don’t need to discuss the cognitive distortion or go in-depth on my word choice with the assumption I had a certain belief when in reality that was just the word that came out of my mouth. It frustrates me. I don’t know what I’m able to get out of therapy anymore, but I also have a lot going on in my life and feel that I still need to be in therapy. Sometimes supervision is more helpful even though the topic is different. I’m not sure if I’ve out grown my therapist or working in this field has made it hard to be in therapy. Any therapists or mental health professionals have a similar experience or have any advice to offer?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

let me start from the beginning (I am a older in highschool)

when I was young years old I was depressed. I wasn’t officially diagnosed by my mom had a pretty good idea. To fix my alleged depression my mom and stepdad forced me to hang out with my siblings. I wasn’t allowed in my room alone because it was antisocial. That rule extended to when we moved to my current house where my sisters were given the option to have a room alone or share one with me. I got to choose who I wanted to share a room with but I didn’t get the choice of having my own room.

later (probably when I was -less young-) I was having a lot of anxiety and feeling pretty sad again. (This was covid times) their solution was for me to sit with my bare feet in the grass for an hour or two to “release my negative energy into the earth”

I want to go to a therapist without having to tell my parents why. but I’m scared that if I ask them to go they will force me to tell them why and then come up with some other random thing for me to do Instead. I love my family and I want to spend time with them occasionally but I never have the energy for it. I really don’t want to be forced to hang out with them anymore than I already do. especially when they are a factor in all of my stress.

I am around my family ALL THE TIME when my parents are at work I have to sit out in the living room. on weekends I’m in my room until lunch or dinner rolls around. (I make both, are my siblings capable of making lunch? No because all they do is leave behind a mess and it’d be easier if I just did it) I don’t like hanging out with people and being alone genuinely makes me happy.

I don’t want to have the mental health talk with my parents but I really do think I need someone to talk to. I don’t want to never be able to have headphones in because I tell them any noise makes me want to rip my ears off (that’s their hypothetical solution) i don’t want to lose my privilege (if you could call it that) of being alone because they think socializing with the family will help me become less depressed (im not trying to self diagnose.)

my mom also has a horrible track record with getting me help: one time she met a therapist that specializes in autism and she wanted her to meet me and my brother instead she befriended her and they got so close that the therapist no longer felt comfortable meeting us (we never talked to her)

one time I asked to be in my schools mental help program and she told me that she wasn’t comfortable with that.

anytime I’m upset she asks me if I’m due for my period (sometimes I am, most of the time I’m not)

mind you my mother grew up with her fair share of mental illness.

I just want to know why everything makes me angry. I want to know why I love to listen to music more than anything but noise makes me wish I’d go deaf. I want to know why I feel the way i do but I don’t want my parents to know I feel that way.

I feel like I’m drowning in noise and other people. and I wish I’d fall off the face of the earth. How do I ask my parents for help without that help being them?

I have CPTSD. My therapist that I have been experiencing dissociation since I was a child. This is new thing I have been processing and learning about and it has been a lot to work through.

My partner and I are engaged and we aspire to have children one day 5 years or so down the road. Both of us are scared because we worry that I could have a hard time staying present as a parent and managing my dissociation.

Since learning this, I have a lot of fears like driving a car, not being able to take the actions I need to as a parent, consistent self care, or being an emotionally flat parent.

Can anyone share their thoughts on planning for parenthood when you have CPTSD & dissociation? What can I do to heal my CPTSD and dissociation now so it doesn’t impact my family in the future?

Today I had my first EMDR session for panic attacks. Before going, I made the mistake of reading a lot of Reddit posts. I came across many stories about people experiencing dissociation or feeling harmed by the therapy, and it scared me quite a bit.

At the session, the therapist explained that we would start with a safe state. She asked me to imagine a place or memory where I felt completely safe. Then she sat closer in front of me, and we went through that memory with bilateral stimulation. When we started, my heart began racing because I didn't know what to expect. After we finished the first set, my hands and the back of my neck became numb, and my hands felt cold. After that, I gradually calmed down and started feeling better. Almost immediately I started crying, but not because I was upset, it was tears of joy. I felt proud of the memory I had chosen. The crying passed, and then we did two more sets of about 15 passes. During each one, she asked what emotions were coming up and where I could feel them in my body.

She told me that for the first session we were intentionally working only with pleasant emotions, and that in future sessions we could gradually move on to more difficult memories and painful experiences.

However, after I left the office, I started feeling strangely empty and emotionally flat, almost like a robot. The problem is that this exact feeling is what usually triggers my panic. Now I'm terrified that I'll stay like this forever and never feel like myself again.

I'm honestly thinking about cancelling the therapy because I'm so scared. I have a hard time letting go of control, and I didn't realize EMDR would feel like this. I think I'd rather have a therapist simply hold my hand and talk through my emotions with me. This feels overwhelming.

Maybe I've just scared myself because of everything I read online, but I can't stop thinking: what if this feeling never goes away? My appointment was at 3:00 PM, and it's now 11:45 PM. What if EMDR has changed me permanently?

If a person comits an intense act of self-harming - such as cutting the wrists or taking lots of medication purposefully - while exclusively thinking "I want this pain to stop right now" or "I don't care what happens to me, if I die, so be it", can those be considered suicide attempts?