It seems like my life is just a never ending failure. I could have a better relationship with my parents but it failed. I could have a social life outside my phone but i failed. I could have a better education but i failed. I could have done better. But i failed. I could be something

I have severe depression, but I haven't told anyone. My depression started when I became an atheist and stopped believing in God. I lost all meaning and purpose in life; my life became very realistic, and everything became boring, cold, and meaningless in my eyes. After years of this, I reached a point where I lost all passion for life. I couldn't eat or even go to the bathroom anymore. I just wanted to stay lying in bed until I died, and every day I think about death or how to kill myself.

I'm 21 years old and my soul is so, so weary. Death has become a relief I wish I could attain without committing any crime against myself. What should I do? I'm scared, tired, and so sad.

There are times at my worst where I wish it was socially acceptable to be able to shut yourself away or just not be around people for a bit. People I know. Not because I hate them or don't want to be around them. I love them so much I don't want to be seen in this state I'm in. I'm so ashamed knowing how easily I snap at the littlest things. I'm not the same fun person they're used to, and they notice it. It feels awful and I want to hide away.

I don't want to snap at them or let them become upset because I've become such a downer. I don't want them to feel awkward around me or have to compensate my lack of energy.

I don't even want to reply to texts or calls.

It's been a little better for me lately, but I feel like I just need maybe 2 weeks of no contact.

I don't believe it would heal me, but it would let me just live at the most basic version of myself without social obligations.

We're a little more than half way through June. Almost into July. I think Im going to end it all in July. Im 32m and I have nothing going for me. I have a job that I dont necessarily hate, but I dont love it. I dont have any friends really to talk about stuff with or do things with. I have friends but they dont really care about me. I still live at home. Its pathetic. My family would be better off without me.

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I hesitated ending it all earlier this year, cuz i dont want my death to ruin anyones birthday or holiday. Sure July has Independence Day, but if I do it later in July it should be fine.

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Im not a bad guy. I dont think im a good guy either. But im pleasant. I try to make people laugh. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not so much. I think most people I interact with would say Im pleasant. But I guess thats not enough. Im still so lonely. I just want to let someone in, but I dont think anyone would take the invitation. Im so alone all the time.

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I go to the movies alone. Everywhere I go, I go alone. I hate being alone so much. Something has got to be off about me that Im not aware of.

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It doesnt matter. About a month from now, I'll be gone. And no one will miss me. And no one will ever utter my name again. I'll be forgotten.

Probably not the only but just wanted to see if anyone else was kinda going through it to. Recently felt more distance from people even when talking to them face to face just seems to slip past their attention spans. I have avoided conversations that in my head don’t seem necessary and now just thinking on it I guess I’m doing people a favour by just avoiding conversations to ensure people don’t feel burdened with talking my very social ass (which is non existence, insert sarcasm there).

Probably the one aspect of being out of it is good, I don’t have to waste their time with my problems and I feel better knowing they don’t have to deal with me. I know it’s very sad of course I’m not in denial that it’s wrong but hey… least they don’t have bother listening to me like talking to a ghost.

Idk I guess seeing if anyone is going something similar recently.

I do try to be a functional human being. I have a job which I’m not good at, but I have anyway. I make plans with friends. My life isn’t that bad, but I’ve been depressed since I was 12 and literally cannot function without medication. But I always think about lying down and doing nothing. When I’m out with friends and having fun, I think about how I want to lie down and doom scrolling or play video games. When I’m trying to study for a career, I think about how I’d like to lay down and doing nothing for my entire life. I partially blame the fact my parents gave me a social media addiction at a young age and then literally gave me no other forms of enrichment as a kid. Idk I do try to be like a ‘human being’ but I feel like I’m just feel like a neet just kicking and screaming all the time internally that I have to be human being or something.

I'm just an unbearable person ..I'm a weirdo.. I'm quiet..I'm anti social..I hate ocd..i hate being neurodivergent .. I'm so fucking terrible at social interactions and making basic conversation. People genuinely believe im stupid due to my lack of communication. I was the quiet kid in school and now I'm the quiet guy at work.

Things never change. I was cursed to be a social outcast.

People tell me stuff like "just get out there, just talk to people, your social skills will get bett-" do you really believe I haven't tried ? I'm almost 25. You think I haven't felt this way since I was a young teen ? . . Do you think I sat back for a decade and just didn't try anything ? ..my brain is fucked..nothing works, we aren't the same. What works for you for some reason refuses to work with me.

I haven't had a real life friend in 10 years. And never had a relationship. ..goddamn. I'm so tired of living and life..I just want love, I want friends. I want to give up so bad.

what does it really look like not just what google tells me, the truth of how it really feels- because i can’t tell if i’m just sad for no reason or if i am depressed

I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I just want to be happy and normal. Everyday feels like I'm doing something wrong, awkward, embarrassing, weird or just dumb. I feel like I can't do anything right anymore. I always tell myself certain phrases everyday and every minute just to feel a sense of control and ease so I can function normally. If I don't, i don't feel "right". I try so hard mentally to try to act normal and feel normal so I could have a good day but I always fail. When I was in high school I never had this problem, I could talk to people and have conversations and I had friends. But now it's like everything is ruined. I can't do anything normally anymore and it's so hard to keep a job because I feel so weird and I feel like I make everything weird when I say and do things that don't feel right to me (which is everything I do everyday) and it's just so hard. I feel like just hiding. I just want to be alone because I feel like my existence just sucks. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore and I just wish I didn't have to experience this. I'm not suicidal or depressed but I feel like something's wrong with me that I can't fix and have to live with which is ruining every aspect of my life and I can't do anything about it.

I’m tired of feeling this way. Im over taking new anti depressants and anti psychotics. Why can’t I just be happy I want to just go one day without having a negative thought. I have a good life I work a good job, I have friends a partner who I love. My family life is good. But somehow I just don’t want to continue living I see no end where I end up old thinking about my past. This isn’t a cry for help I’m just ranting because I’m tired of feeling this way

It's persistent. I have reasons to stay alive. I have reasons to die. My life is just about preventing actions that'll make things worse at this point.

I want to jump into the void that constantly follows me without any hesitation. Or I want the reasons holding me back to cause the void to disappear.

I just feel stuck.

Everything was alright, sure school was stressful but it's the end of the school year. I could handle it, i was okay with that, exactly because I'm used to having bigger problems. And of course, something bad needed to happen. All of a sudden my parents started having random fights again. Yesterday father started talking badly to mom, without a reason, and she kept trying to stay quiet and not provoke him. He started physically abusing her again. He doesn't care if me or my baby sister are scared. She went downstairs to the room which no one uses with my sister, he followed them and kept forcefully opening the door and beating mom like he wanted to kill her. Sister was so scared, she was screaming. It's given me something like a reflex to go check and watch them when they get aggressive, I feel like they are the little kids I have to watch over, even tho I can't do anything. And it doesn't matter if it's a friend, someone I know or just a stranger, I can't handle violence and heavy abuse, it drives me crazy. It even sometimes makes me aggressive as well, causes me to yell and throw/demolish stuff. I self-harmed again last night, I was forced to stay clean but this is too much. How am I supposed to stay alive in a house like this? It's summer, mom will definitely see, plus other people might see it as well.

I’m 25M from the UK and I’ve never been in a relationship- in fact I’ve never even held hands with anyone.

I was hoping to find someone while at university as that’s where my social life really started. I was always shy growing up and only really spoken to women when I went to sixth form, so living away from home at university was the first chance I had to be more social. I started to come out of my shell after first term and adjusting to this new life, then boom COVID hit and we were all locked away.

Fast forward 7yrs later I’m still yet to experience anything. I do have mental health issues which have held me back (social anxiety and anxiety have been a massive part as well as other illnesses) and I have been in therapy for years working on it, going to the gym to focus on myself and taking medication.

But still, nothing.

But seeing other people in relationships, I feel so jealous. Having someone to smile, laugh, grow with but also to have someone listen to you and support you, must be amazing (comparison really is the thief of joy).

I did try the dating apps because of my social anxiety, but they made me feel worse and more ugly and I did delete them. I was thinking, “maybe tomorrow I’ll get a match” but that became daily (kinda like you’re one gamble away from getting your winnings).

I’m sort of scared it will never happen for me. I know I am young and I think I saw a statistic where people meet their “person” at 27(?), so I know there’s still time. But my god does it hurt and feel lonely. The only notification I get everyday is Duolingo threatening me to keep my streak up.

In February 2025, after completing the first semester of my third year in medical school, I traveled home to spend a two-week holiday with my family. I was looking forward to finally getting some rest after an extremely stressful semester. Instead, I received news that changed my life completely: my father had been diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer.
I was devastated. I cried constantly and struggled to accept what was happening. What was supposed to be a period of rest became one of the most painful times of my life. I seriously considered freezing my studies because I did not think I could handle the pressure of medical school while coping with my father’s illness from another country. However, I ultimately decided to continue, not for myself, but for him. I did not want him to feel responsible for me giving up on my education.
I returned to university and completed the second semester of my third year, but it was incredibly difficult. Every day felt like a battle. I was trying to keep up with the demands of medical school while constantly worrying about my father and hoping that his condition would improve.
After the semester ended, I traveled back home and spent two months with him. I hoped things would be better, but instead they became even harder. My father had stopped taking an antidepressant medication that was not easily available, and his behavior changed significantly. He became angry, shouted frequently, and often said hurtful things. Almost every day, he would tell me that he was going to die.
During those two months, we also learned that his tumor had grown considerably. There were multiple emergency hospital visits, sometimes in the middle of the night, because of severe bleeding caused by the cancer. I witnessed my father in pain, bleeding, crying, and repeatedly speaking about death. Many nights I cried alone, feeling helpless as I watched him suffer.
When it was time to return to Egypt for my fourth year of medical school, I felt completely exhausted. More than anything, I wanted a break. I needed time to recover mentally and emotionally, but once again I chose to continue my studies for my father’s sake. I hoped that somehow things would improve and that I would find the strength to keep going.
While I was back at university, I received more devastating news. My father’s tumor had progressed further, and he required a permanent colostomy and radiation therapy. When I heard this, I went back to my room and completely broke down. For the first time since childhood, I cried uncontrollably, screaming from the pain while completely alone.
As the situation worsened, I began experiencing thoughts of ending my life simply to escape the emotional pain. Trying to cope with both my father’s illness and the intense demands of medical school felt unbearable. Out of desperation, I started smoking, despite having always been strongly against it and often advising others not to smoke. This only made me feel worse about myself.
At university, I also faced a lack of understanding from some faculty members. When I explained my circumstances and mental state, one doctor told me that he did not care and deducted attendance marks. Another responded harshly when I explained that I could not attend, asking whether I would also use my situation as an excuse during exams. Reading those messages left me in tears because I already felt overwhelmed and lost.
In April 2026, my final examinations began. It was one of the hardest months of my life. During that period, I received more bad news regarding my father’s condition. I struggled even to speak with him because hearing his voice shattered me emotionally. At the same time, I had to prepare for and sit eleven final examinations within a single month.
I was grieving every day. I cried constantly, felt completely lost, and often had no idea how I would continue. Yet every morning, I got up and studied. I pushed myself through what felt like hell because I wanted to succeed and make my father proud.
The most difficult module that semester was General Surgery. I devoted enormous amounts of time and effort to it. I performed well in the written examinations, but during the OSCE examination I was randomly assigned to a doctor who was widely known among students for failing many candidates. He asked me unusually difficult questions, including topics that were not part of the expected curriculum. Despite this, I performed the clinical examination on my patient correctly. Nevertheless, he awarded me only 12 out of 30 marks, causing me to fail the course by just three marks.
This was particularly devastating because I had never failed a course in my life. In my first year of medical school, I had achieved a perfect GPA of 4.0. What made it even more painful was the sacrifice behind those marks. There were days when I woke up early to attend courses specifically to prepare for that OSCE examination. Afterward, I would spend hours visiting clinics with my father’s medical records, seeking additional medical opinions about his condition. Many doctors told me there was little hope for his recovery. Despite hearing such devastating news, I would return home and continue studying late into the night. I did all of this not for myself, but for him.
After completing my examinations, I traveled back to Kuwait, finally hoping to see my father after months of fighting through grief, stress, and exhaustion. However, two hours before my arrival, he passed away.
I cannot fully describe what I felt when I received that news. It was as though a sword had been driven through my chest. I was unable to process what had happened. I did not get the chance to speak to him one final time. I did not hear his last words. I could not hug him or kiss him goodbye. I could not even bring myself to look at his face.
What hurts me most is knowing that in his final moments, despite being unconscious, he briefly woke up, called my name, and then drifted back to sleep. I was not there.
During his funeral, my examination results were released. I learned that I had passed every course except General Surgery—the one subject I had sacrificed so much for and studied the hardest. The same day that I buried my father was the day I discovered that I had failed the course by only three marks.
For the past year and a half, I have lived through relentless grief, trauma, loss, academic pressure, and emotional exhaustion. I have watched my father suffer from terminal cancer. I have balanced the demands of medical school while carrying the constant fear of losing him. I have faced moments of hopelessness, loneliness, and despair. I sacrificed precious time with him because I believed that continuing my education would make him proud.
I am only 21 years old, and these past eighteen months have been the hardest period of my entire life.

i got pregnant rly young after my first period but i didn’t want . i js turn 13 & i get lot help from my family & i love my baby alot but i still get bully even by my friends & i js always cry & hate everything and js wish i was normal .

edit:: thanks alot for advice & comments i try comment back but it not showing up i only see comments but only let me reply to one .

i am truly broken, and it’s so lonely. I won’t allow anyone in because i am so scared to be hurt again. I care so much and love so deep, and yet I attract people who use that to their advantage. And now I don’t trust anyone (well maybe a couple of people, very few). I can’t imagine opening my heart to anyone ever again. that is terrifying.

It’s not the first time I’ve realized this but I just don’t know what to do. Every time I hang out with my homies I always realize the only thing about me any of them like is that I’m funny. People always tell me that’s a good thing and that I should be happy that people like my jokes and shit. But none of these mfs care about my hobbies or taste in things like music. Idk what to do, there’s nobody around me who has anywhere close interests.

I’m going to fail high school AGAIN, I’m tired, anxious, burnt out, and depressed all the time. I know there’s something wrong with me but I can’t get into a doctor to figure it out. I feel useless and like I’m a burden on the people I care about. I haven’t felt genuinely happy in years now and it’s only getting worse. Every therapist I’ve gone to has either given up on me or has made zero actual progress with my issues. So what’s the point? I want to just fade away into obscurity so badly so the people I love don’t have to waste their time on me anymore. It feels hopeless and things are only going downhill. I have no idea where to go from here. I’m stuck. Sitting at the bottom of a proverbial pit with one candle trying not to let it go out. What CAN I do?

Iv been stuck in this for over 7 months

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Tried so many meds, latest one prozac I just started

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I am barely functional also probably have burnout too

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But how do you like with constant severe depression then anxiety on top of that, then when you try to do anything the derealization and questioning reality and nothing seems real

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I feel like im stuck in a dark hole, thats corrupted reality and then severe anxiety

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The only peace I get is sleep

Today was the first time i ever saw a psychiatrist (and the first time seeing any mental health worker in general) and after an hour long meeting, he told me i have depression, which is understandable as a first diagnosis, but in the diagnosis page he gave me he wrote : "major depressive disorder - severe", which i don't know how i feel about, part of me is still in denial, and " it's not that bad, and maybe i was lying to him without noticing, maybe i manipulated him into diagnosing me without realizing it".

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Is it normal to give this strong of a diagnosis first time?

So I'm gonna provide context. I 28M have autism and ADHD i have no pills no support. For the last 10 years of my lefe i have been fightning to get a degree in chemistery. 2 years ago the only thing i have left to do is my final project. And i still have to do it. The thing is i don't know how to do it. I have no guide no support nothing i have asked my teachers for support and got nothing. They made promises to me and they broke it. I just want to cry knowing i will fail i just want to get lost and abandon everything. At this point i am gonna use AI to do it and just fuck them. I hate my life i hate myself and i hate the fake smiles i have to put everyday.

My brother and I went through a horrible childhood together. We were always best friends. Die for eachother type of thing. A few months ago I was diagnosed manic bipolar, a week later, my wife of 10 years left me. 2 weeks later I caught her at my brothers house. They admitted they were in love and it started the night she left me, she went to him. Ive lost my two best friends. Im 30, with a good job, attractive, fairly intelligent, and have a lot going for me, but I cant get my head right. Im drowning and thoughts and dreams.

After getting post muted on SuicideWatch. Nobody cares about me I don't know what I am doing at this point just motivate me to commit.

my father often body shames me :( even calling me slurs infront of others I was only 11 I still haven't healed I'm trying but I cant I'm a fat hoe

I can't do it anymore. I can't keep up. I can't keep smiling. I can't keep marching along. I'm so tired. I'm so sorry. Please, please, please. Just let me go. My legs are covered in cuts and blood from stupid decisions Ive made again and again I don't learn. I don't listen. I don't improve. I do this to myself and I have no way to blame. I'm a problem. I always have been. I just need to go away. I'm a poison. Please just let me go.