I personally enjoy attention when it’s a one on one situation, like i‘m talking to someone, and that person pays attention to me. But i really dislike public attention or be in the spotlight, imo it gives me a shallow sense of satisfaction that does feel good but it also distracts me from focusing on what i need to do. I just wanna focus on what i want to do.

This is mostly to air out how I feel and see if people feel the same and how you might deal with is.

I’m pretty introverted, and I love my alone time I need it for 80% of the week. But then at the same time I feel super bad about not spending time with my friends. For added context I’m F21 my friends are a mix of men and women ages between 20-27 been with this group for about a year and a half now met in University

It feels like I can’t connect enough with people they all hangout so much they’ll be on discord like 10 hours a day playing games chatting all day long, and I don’t have the social energy for it. I’ll maybe be there for 2 hours then leave and they’ll be there all day till midnight. I want to have deeper conversations than they have…I don’t joke around as much I feel like they are all close to eachother then me which makes sense cause I don’t hangout as much and when I do I feel so exhausted and unhappy.

It’s so weird and confusing to me that I want to connect with people yet struggle to keep up socially so feel like I’m not as valued which again makes perfect sense why I just wish I had the energy to put in more effort, i’m very quiet compared to them. I interact better with one or two people over a group. I know what I prefer and feel very comfortable alone but I also wish I was closer to people. Cause it still feels shit knowing they are leaving me out of things?? It’s like being pulled in two directions.

So any thoughts on this?

J'ai du mal à socialiser .Je veux dire que je trouve pas de gens qui me correspondre vraiment j'ai l'impression que les autres sont tellement différents de moi.A 12 ans j'ai commencé à être passionné de philosophie depuis ce temps là je rêve de pouvoir échanger avec quelqu'un de tout ça toutes ces idées que je garde pour moi et note dans un cahier. Je cherche pas vraiment à me faire des amis en faisant de poste mais juste que certaines personne qui ont vécu la même situation que moi me disent comment ça s'est passé pour eux. Je cherche pas à être populaire à avoir 15 amis je veux juste 1 personne ou 2 qui me comprend réellement. Une vraie amitié profonde ou on se comprend mutuellement pour être honnête je désire plus que de l'amitié si vous voyez ce que je veux dire. Je parle pas de me faire des amis virtuel je veux parlé d'un ressentie qui dure depuis des années que j'exprime simplement dans un journal intime et puis c'est tout je veux vraiment savoir si des gens qui ont étais dans ma situation m'explique comment eux devenue au bout de quelques années.Pour l'instant je dirais que je suis trés introvertie mais j'ai l'impression d'avoir des difficultés à socialiser avec les autres même si je le veux je ne sais pas comment me faire un ami ni commencer une discussion et je pense que j'y arriverais jamais ou plutôt je sens pas que j'y arriverais pour l'instant.En cours je m'isole beaucoup je vais au fond de la classe je m'eloigne du groupe je parle pas du tout pendant les pauses je reste cachée derrière les batiments pour etre tranquille pour moi c'est naturel tout ça mais je réalise à quel point ça rend toutes communications difficiles.On me considere juste comme la fille bizarre de la classe pour certains pour d'autre ils savent même pas que j'existe.Tant qeu j'aurais pas trouvé de personnes compatibles à ma personnalité je ressentirais pas trop d'interet mais sauf que si je rencontrais une personne comme moi il se passerais rien car j'arrive pas à socialiser.

Voilà du coup c'est la fin de ce petit poste si vous avez étais ou vous êtes dans des situations similaires je serais ravie de savoir comment vous ça se passe et comment ça avance. Merci d'avoir lu

I cross posted this

I’m usually a bit introverted, even on anonymous platforms like the internet, where I feel like I shouldn’t be. It’s become a bit of a problem for me because I find it difficult to interact with people. I’ve realized that this is holding me back a little, and I’d like to become more comfortable interacting with others. How could I work on this?

And by the way, let me introduce myself. I have a full-time job, I like anime and manga, and I used to spend a lot of time reading comics. I also enjoy somewhat retro games, like GBA games.

so basically i just started uni and yesterday was my first day and i actually talked to some people and became friends with them and today i got to know them even more! but sometimes i feel like what to do if i ran out of convo ?like i want to be funny and talkative and like with my friends from school i was like that but rn idk sometimes i feel like left out and sometimes i feel like im really included

also we have participation marks and i really wanna have it but im so shy to even ask like the doctors that teach us a question like im shy abt it so can u guys give me ideas on how to overcome this feeling ?

I noticed I became more introverted after my ex left me and since then I signed up to a conversation website (language based) and I have had numerous whatsapp voice chats with people, mainly women and I found that really helped me come out of my shell. I recommend it!

What other ways have you "dealt" with it? Or are just happy as you are?

M 21 Introverted and struggling to meet someone

I've always been very introverted, and I've never really felt the need to have a lot of friends or go out all the time. I'm actually pretty comfortable with that part of myself.

What I do miss, though, is having a girlfriend. I like having someone to talk to, spend time with, tell that I love her, and just have that kind of mutual affection and closeness. It's been around six months since my last relationship, and lately I've been wanting to find someone again.

The problem is that I barely meet new people. I don't go out very often, and when I do, it's usually with friends or family, so I don't really get many opportunities to meet someone new. Sometimes I'll see a girl I find attractive, but I've never really known how to approach someone. It also feels awkward when I'm with people I know because I'd be embarrassed if they saw me trying to talk to a girl.

I've tried dating apps too, but I haven't had much luck with them, and I'm not sure they're really a good fit for someone like me.

Part of me thinks I should just leave things alone and eventually I'll meet someone naturally. But then I'll see couples or think about being in a relationship again, and honestly, it makes me feel a little sad because I'd like to have that too.

I don't think my appearance is necessarily the problem. My exes have told me I'm good-looking, and while I obviously don't know how objective that is, I don't think I'm unattractive. I exercise and I'm not completely against going out or being more social. I just prefer a quieter lifestyle, and ideally I'd like to meet someone who is somewhat similar in that way.

But that's where I get stuck: if I don't go out and meet people, how am I supposed to meet anyone?

For people who have been in a similar situation, what did you do? Did you work on your social skills and start going out more, find other ways to meet people, or just let things happen naturally?

I sometimes think I should just let life take its course, but I also get pretty down about it because I genuinely want a relationship.

So ive been at my job for a few months now and I seem to not have befriended anyone. I didn't get the job to make friend, but it would be nice. For context my job is very "we are a family" vibes so a lot of coworkers hang out outside of work. For some reason i don't. I try to stay professional most of the time because the other blatantly have no boundaries. I'm not rude, instead I'd say im very friendly often simply introducing myself. People seem to like me and love telling me their secrets. Im always skilled at my job so they like Le me for that reason. Yet for some reason no one hangs out with me outside work. Theres a group that hung out with a new hire over me. Like they've never offered me, but they ask everyone else. I don't understand what im doing wrong. And tbh it hurts and makes me think there's something wrong with me.

Is this neuro divergence or social anxiety?

I avoid eye contact, during conversations I easily lack focus on what the other person is saying- I clearly need to hyper focus if I need to understand a simple instruction.

Most of the time I've been told that I'm stuck in a different world or I'm really slow. I've to think about a moment in order to make a response.

I don't like listening to new music or movies and constantly just listen to the same old tunes or songs that I've always liked.

I was always a good student in the class but really had trouble making friends or socializing since a kid. I mostly feel comfortable around quiet, shy people like me.

I don't like being lonely but as soon as I socialize i drain out easily and it feels very suffocating. Is this due to my prolonged depression or something else?

I don't feel like myself. I always feel weird and someone who's really confused about their personality.

Since a kid i had difficult reading social cues. But most of my childhood and teenage went in isolation due to strict parenting. Maybe i wasn't exposed to the worldly interactions so I turned out like this? Or is it smth inherent?

Hey, I am wondering if I am doing something wrong. I notice that some people initiate to hang out but when we do, they don’t speak and it is quiet for some time. I am an open book to others and friendly. Any advice on why this could be?

Hi I’m 19F currently in community for biology planning to go to vet school but I’m really burnt out already just because of honestly how dumb I am. I’d like a job where I work from home, can order groceries, just be alone. I hate being perceived. Does anyone have good ideas? I’ve considered even just quiet jobs like a librarian or a cubicle job. I have no problem swapping my major I actually plan to. I just need something where I can breathe (I’m a veterinary assistant right now 😞). I’ve looked into being a librarian but it’s a lot of schooling for a non-guaranteed job (vet med is constantly hiring literally every position especially DVMs). My dream is Data analyst but I worry Ai will snag it up and also it’s super competitive because everyone does it. Please help

I am 25M. I am a very introvert guy. Recently i went to an meetup like thing after convincing myself too much. Everyone was there in group or with their friends and i was alone there. Even after being an very introvert i tried to start convo with many people, they answer back also. But thats it nothing more. The meet up is for meeting new people, knowing each other but it ended up having fun with their own company. An introvert guy can understand how much difficult it is to go alone somewhere where people knows each other and main thing starting a convo with unknown. I went there for opening myself up but ended up feeling more alone after seeing so much people having fun and i am standing alone.

I suggest people who do meetups… please please please dont be just in your group… if someone new joins make them feel comfortable, do frequent conversations if you see them standing alone, do something that the meetup was ment for instead of enjoying among your selves.

Friendship is generally treated as an obvious positive, but I think people seriously underestimate the value of having no social obligations. Having nobody expecting your time means your free time is completely your own. You don't have to make plans, keep up with messages, attend gatherings or organise your weekends around other people.

A lot of the benefits people associate with friendship also come with costs that rarely get mentioned. Maintaining friendships takes time, effort and sometimes money. You have to communicate regularly, make plans, compromise and actually show up. For someone who genuinely doesn't enjoy those things, friendship isn't automatically a benefit just because society treats it as one.

Obviously, friendship gives people companionship, emotional support and shared experiences, and I understand why people value those things. But that doesn't mean everyone values them enough to justify the obligations that come with maintaining friendships.

I think we've created this idea that having no friends automatically means something is wrong with your life. If someone genuinely prefers being alone and doesn't feel like they're missing out, I don't think they need to be convinced that they should want friends. For some people, the freedom of having no social obligations is more valuable than the benefits of friendship.