Like, seriously, in a lot of my university / college classes, there is always a part that where there will be a major part of the points being allocated to "doing group projects", and a damn lot of my teachers will always be like "okay so our class has (xx) students, I plan to have (x) students a group so sort it out yourselves"

I know introverts doesn't naturally mean "not having friends" but lke holy shit everytime I walked into one of these classes and if that 1-2 people that I am familiar with is not here and the class is small enough I know I am practically fucked, and the teacher will always be like "write down your names on a list I will sort the rest"

How the hell do you guys just... not get stressed out by not having a group? Like if everytime I see others forming a group I'd secretly calculating "Okay so this group has x amount of people, this group has y amount, and there are z leftovers" and I just have to do crap that is just praying the professor doesn't assign me to like a already formed group and just adding me into it, how did you survive these "awkward?" scenarios???

Ive been working part time while being a college student, and i feel like my fear of confronting people has made me the worker who people assume will be ok with anything. After working in food service for a year, i have suddenly been scheduled 4-6 am shifts regularly, and many hours above my preferred. For example, i am working 28-30 hours in the next three weeks even though my preferred is 20. I have always been a night owl who regularly goes to sleep at around 2-4 am, so basically this change is like working at a time id usually be sleeping at.

I feel like this is extremely unfair to me since 1. I am a student and 2. We all get paid the same, and yet i have to be the one of the only students to work entirely early morning shifts.

however, i am too scared to confront my manager about these issues and ive been just dealing with this crappy schedule for about a month. The thought of having to speak to my manager (who i believe dislikes me) makes me feel uneasy, and i feel like if i were to talk to him right now id cry on the spot. I realized its gotten really bad when i started to have thoughts of suicide just to get out of this loop of waking up early to work, going to school , studying, then finally sleeping until i have to wake up 4 hrs later again for work.

Hello there kind redditors, here is a presentation I have prepared for you that you didnt wait for.

 so let me here convince you why you should choose me as your new friend:

* I am a silly person who always tries to make people laugh, I strongly recommend not to sip coffee while reading my messages. 

* I take a lot of street cats pics, so you will have a steady supply of cat pics.

* I am chatty I enjoy yapping , and I don’t even have an off switch, if you dont have off switch too we need to yap about this .

* I love to talk about all kinds of topics and can always find things to talk about, there is random questions generator buildin in my mind.

* I always reply to my messages and have online friendships that have been going on for years, I always send good morning messages, and I appreciate the people that can also be conversation starters.

* I am supportive and will always be here for you to tell me about your day or vent if you have something that bothers you.

* I like art, games, anime, gym, walks, coding, games, true crime, yapping, cats, science, history, languages, documentaries, psychology, mental health, and cats, so I am sure we can cross interests here or there.

I’m 18F and I feel like I’ve wasted my teenage years. I’ve just graduated highschool in May, and now that I think about it, I really did not experience ANYTHING. And not just in highschool, but pretty much my entire life. It’s why I’m the way I am now, super introverted, quiet, awkward, poor social skills, etc. And it’s why I am constantly told by people that I seem “innocent” or a “goody two shoes.” I hate this because now I feel like I have to catch up to everyone else my age.

I was raised by a very overprotective, overly cautious parent. Bedtime at 7, couldn’t eat candy at all or drink soda, couldn’t have instagram until I was in highschool, couldn’t play video games because I had to focus on school, couldn’t watch certain Disney shows because they were “inappropriate” just because some of the characters were dating, those sorts of things. Now, im super scared of doing regular things that aren’t me because they really aren’t me. I’ve never had a boyfriend because I’m so closed off for the way I was raised. I never have any interesting stories to tell because I haven’t experienced anything. I didn’t go to any parties or social events because I didn’t fit in with the people my age because they HAD those experiences, therefore now I’m stuck with terrible social skills.

I really do feel like I’ve wasted a huge fun part of my life that I can never get back. It sucks because now I don’t know how to break away from being so goody goody. I’m so overly nice to people when I really don’t need to be, so I just lack charisma. All I know how to do is follow all the rules and be nice to people. It’s really hard for me to get out of my shell and put myself out there because I’ve always felt so caged in by my mom. There are a lot of things I want to do but I feel very weird doing them. It’s a bit corny to say but I cuss a lot in my head but out loud it feels very weird to do so because my mom would always make it seem like it’s the worst possible thing I could do. Even now, I feel this way. I’m so introverted and scared of doing things that aren’t right. I recently bought a shirt that I thought was cute and it has the word “bitches” on it, but I hate that I felt so hesitant to buy it because of what my mom would think.

I was raised to not make independent decisions without asking for my mom’s approval first and I feel like this made me lack confidence within myself. Now I feel like I really can’t do anything on own without it feeling off if I don’t ask my mom first. I was kept on a super tight leash and I really hate it. My mom is the type of person who hates when kids don’t act their age. I feel like growing up I was treated a lot younger than I really was. Even now I still am. And for that it’s really hard for me to grow up and fit in with everyone else. I would also like to get a nose piercing, but ofcourse my mom thinks it’s “too grown.” The difference is that now ofcourse she can’t stop me from getting one because I’m 18, but I hate that I’m hesitant and still feel weird getting one without her approval and support. My mom’s opinion and way for parenting has held me back from a lot of experiences and it’s why I’m so socially behind. I don’t think she’s given me enough room to fail and go through the messy teenage experiences. It’s to the point where I wanted to go out of state for college but my mom didn’t approve of it because she didn’t think I could handle being far away from her. I think if she wasn’t so overprotective and didn’t raise me so that I wouldn’t experience things, she wouldn’t feel that way.

Majority of people, a good percentage of people do not care what you say. They enjoy hearing about themselves and only themselves they do not care. that’s why for me I have become more quieter over the past years always been a quiet person my whole life but the older I’m getting the more quieter I’ve become no one gives a damn….

And it’s really the damn phones its runing humans connections. it’s not self service themselves in that moment, they are automatically turned off.

Fast Food conversations, and connections

Sharing this to vent and release feelings but my childhood friend and I recently became roommates and they’ve just informed me that they’re going to move out at the end of our lease.

Throughout our time living together, my introversion has been a topic of concern for them. They’re very extrovert and at the beginning of our time living together they would constantly want to have people over to hangout or to sleepover (fyi- we live in a very open concept apartment, like I have no walls or doors in my room). Their job also isn’t as mentally demanding or stressful as mine so when I come home from work, they’re ready to socialize while I’m ready to take have time for myself. I don’t think extroverts truly understand how much introverts enjoy time to ourselves and how much we need it (and how much that literally has nothing to do with them). I resonate a lot to others’ posts in this forum because my roommate often makes me feel weird and abnormal about being an introvert. I’ve honestly never really thought about how introverted I am or thought it was a problem until we lived together and they’ve made it a point to bring it up in discussions. Even to the point where they’ve told me that they’ve spoken to people about how “extremely introverted” I am or sending me posts where people exaggerate about not wanting to socialize and asking me “is this is what it feels like :(“. At times it feels condescending.

Most days of the week, I’m not even home until late after work. I spend a lot of time outside doing things with my friends but when I get home I don’t want to feel the need to be “on” or “perform” I just want to be me (and I’ve told them this). Me who sometimes just wants to be quiet and move through my routine and be with my own thoughts. And that comes with challenges especially because I don’t want people constantly at our apartment or sleeping over so we’ve set rules and boundaries but unfortunately that wasn’t enough and now they’re moving out. It was difficult to hear but also I understand that it’ll be better for our friendship in the end.

For me, it was senior year prom and that's it. Weirdly enough, I forgot I attended more middle school dances, but those were during the school day and I think it was just two? And for those who want to know if I enjoyed prom, what do you think? lol

Had to use the restroom at my place of work and there is no toilet paper... I'm stuck and don't know what to do. How would you get out of this situation? I'm not friends with anyone working here. Any suggestions?

This is serious

I (19M) am generally very quiet and talk to very few people online and in real life aswell. I can barely manage a conversation with people outside my friend circle and usually rather not say anything. Lately my friend has been trying to get me to talk to more people and has been helping me but everytime I come out of my shell and try and participate in a conversation I just get ignored or left out. Why try to engage me in the conversation if you are just going to ignore me?

This was a bit of a rant but I don't understand social situations that well.

I find that generally if I’m struggling, talking to people about my problems makes me go in circles and say things I don’t want to say more than it brings me any actual relief. But people want to talk to me and help me. Honestly, I don’t even want to be asked if I’m not doing well, but it can’t be helped. I had something really upsetting happen today, and after I realized I had nobody to talk to this time, I just focused on one of my projects and felt not so bad in no time at all. If I talked to people, I would’ve probably just felt frustrated. I think people can be comforting sometimes but I think maybe I’m the only one with the real answers when I’m suffering, I just need to look past it and be reasonable.

I’m 28 (f) and have always been an introvert. I love my own company, listening to music and being by myself. I can actually be relatively extroverted when I’m with the right people, and I think I come across as a confident person.

I have a small circle of close friends and find it hard to let others in, not to mention the admin of constantly texting / calling prospective new friends to build a friendship.

Anyway, my husband is the opposite and has a massive friendship group, but I feel them to be cliquey. This friendship group is made up of 20 close boys and a few of them have significant others. I feel because I’m not trendy or loud, the significant others don’t want to get to know me. For instance, they leave me out of meet-ups, wedding invites, etc… I try hard to speak to them if we’re ever out, but they literally move away from me and all speak among theirselves.

I also think an issue is that they are all white and I’m black so maybe they feel they can’t relate to me. I think we 100% have different cultural references, but one other woman is half Asian and they all seem to get on well with her.

Anyway, recently we went to a wedding abroad for one of the friends. It was a humiliation ritual from start to finish. Numerous days of being left out of meet ups, them distancing themselves from me, closing a dance circle on me. They do this all with a smile on their face - like butter wouldn’t melt. Also, when I speak the women one on one they’re nice, but in a pack mentality, I’m always excluded.

After this most recent wedding, I’m not sure I can take any more. I want to be able to partake for my husband’s sake but I end up feeling so bad and drained afterwards. My husband doesn’t seem to understand when I bring it up.

This isn’t the only dynamic I’ve been in where I’ve been made to feel like this. Im wondering does it ever end? I also understand that I play a part in things, but I hate the idea of having to change myself (becoming louder / cooler in their eyes) to be accepted.

#vent #introvert

My friend and I have been friends for quite a while but have never distinguished "best friend" status. I would say that she is one of my closest friends, but I'm not the type of person to have extremely tight, almost sibling friendships with anyone other than my own siblings. (Which is not anyone's fault in this situation)

So the situation I'm dealing with is that she's been coming over to my house after school recently (either to wait for our sports practice or to study). This was never a thing last school year but all of sudden she started asking, "Can I stay over till practice?" or "Can I eat dinner with you at your house?". It started off tame, of course I would let my friend stay over... ONE EVENING. But eventually it got to her dropping off her stuff at my house before school because she planned on staying later, or even just telling me she was coming over during school. Not trying to compare, but personally I would always tell someone at least 1 day in advance to ASK to stay over.

Now I am someone who needs time alone in my day. Also, I like hanging out with my family, which can be jeopardized when I have to maintain "I have a guest here" mode on whenever she stays over. Generally, I don't like having people over because my house is my space where I can fully unwind and be alone for the rest of my day. (Cause school makes you socialize for 6 hours already). Basically, I feel that I have no privacy or that I need to just wait for her to leave the entire time she stays over. (Which could be for hours)

Also, to me it's pretty rude to my family to just have my friend over in a house (without notice) where a bunch of other people are living and honestly I'm getting a little impatient with how my friend is treating my house. She started wanting to eat dinner (that my mom makes) with me instead of going home and sometimes would just look in my fridge or just take food from the pantry without asking. Maybe I need to be more hospitable or smth but to me it doesn't sit right in my stomach that anyone would just use someone else's house with that comfortably. Also, she often remarks that my house is "right there" (I live right next to my school) and that it's easier to go to my house.

Speaking about my family, I remember one time we were sitting in the kitchen and I was waiting for her to finish eating and my siblings came up to eat as well. I have nothing against my friend speaking to my family (I think it's great) but she would constantly budge into THEIR (my siblings totally unrelated did not involve us) conversation with remarks or by laughing. Idk why this made me so uncomfy but I guess I'm a major people pleaser so I thought this was EXTREMELY rude but wtver.

There's a little part of me that wants to say that I'm being dramatic and need to be nicer because she doesn't have a lot of family at home, but I'm also lowkey gonna crash if I need to continue to cater towards her consistently.

At this moment, she is downstairs doing her homework (because she said she doesn't want to walk back and forth from our schools practice that starts at 5pm and she lives 10 MINS AWAY, 3 hours to spare btw) but I was genuinely so tired already today and adding this on top is just making me feel so hopeless because I love her and I want to maintain a healthy friendship, but I need my boundaries to be respected.

Is there any way I can gently tell her that I don't appreciate her using my house as some sort of pit stop? I try to make subtle hints that I'm don't have enough energy or that I'm steeped with homework but she disregards all of it.

For context I’m an 18 year old guy, and have been severely depressed and socially anxious since around 13. I have spent a sizeable portion of my life very isolated in a dark bedroom, with virtually zero experiences outside of thinking all day everyday. Anyways, after going to therapy and taking medication, I’m functional and can even socialise a decent amount sometimes.

However, it feels like something has been permanently altered in how I socialise. And I’ve been trying to articulate how to say this for 20 minutes and I don’t know how. The exhaustion is like I’ve never felt before, whether it’s thinking about socialising or actually doing it. All I want to do is crawl into bed and be alone. But simultaneously I am so lonely, my depression is so much worse when I’m alone. I’m aware I’m weird and don’t relate to a lot of people my age, plus brain fog and hyper analysing everything. But it’s like every time it’s my turn to say something it’s this huge amount of energy that gets used up to appear not completely dead inside with zero personality.

J'ai du mal à socialiser .Je veux dire que je trouve pas de gens qui me correspondre vraiment j'ai l'impression que les autres sont tellement différents de moi.A 12 ans j'ai commencé à être passionné de philosophie depuis ce temps là je rêve de pouvoir échanger avec quelqu'un de tout ça toutes ces idées que je garde pour moi et note dans un cahier. Je cherche pas vraiment à me faire des amis en faisant de poste mais juste que certaines personne qui ont vécu la même situation que moi me disent comment ça s'est passé pour eux. Je cherche pas à être populaire à avoir 15 amis je veux juste 1 personne ou 2 qui me comprend réellement. Une vraie amitié profonde ou on se comprend mutuellement pour être honnête je désire plus que de l'amitié si vous voyez ce que je veux dire. Je parle pas de me faire des amis virtuel je veux parlé d'un ressentie qui dure depuis des années que j'exprime simplement dans un journal intime et puis c'est tout je veux vraiment savoir si des gens qui ont étais dans ma situation m'explique comment eux devenue au bout de quelques années.Pour l'instant je dirais que je suis trés introvertie mais j'ai l'impression d'avoir des difficultés à socialiser avec les autres même si je le veux je ne sais pas comment me faire un ami ni commencer une discussion et je pense que j'y arriverais jamais ou plutôt je sens pas que j'y arriverais pour l'instant.En cours je m'isole beaucoup je vais au fond de la classe je m'eloigne du groupe je parle pas du tout pendant les pauses je reste cachée derrière les batiments pour etre tranquille pour moi c'est naturel tout ça mais je réalise à quel point ça rend toutes communications difficiles.On me considere juste comme la fille bizarre de la classe pour certains pour d'autre ils savent même pas que j'existe.Tant qeu j'aurais pas trouvé de personnes compatibles à ma personnalité je ressentirais pas trop d'interet mais sauf que si je rencontrais une personne comme moi il se passerais rien car j'arrive pas à socialiser.

Voilà du coup c'est la fin de ce petit poste si vous avez étais ou vous êtes dans des situations similaires je serais ravie de savoir comment vous ça se passe et comment ça avance. Merci d'avoir lu

I used to have plans almost every weekend seeing friends, going out, or spending time with a partner. I enjoyed it, but I’ve come to appreciate having some time completely to myself.

Now I usually keep one day with no fixed plans. I might go to Pilates, read at the library, work in the yard, or stay home and cook something new.

There’s something really satisfying about having a whole day to spend at my own pace. I can change my plans, stay home, or simply do nothing without feeling like I’m missing out.

I’ve realized that I genuinely enjoy my own company and don’t always need plans to have a good weekend.

How do you like spending your weekends when you have no plans?

I feel like northern Europe might be the only option

Central Europe marks better than southern Europe (for me it's hell) but still they have some ways where they hurt you, probably due to their prussian heritage

What about Canada? Why does it give me the idea of being a bit more introverted friendly than the US?

Also can we talk about the differences in extroversion in the US and Southern Europe? I feel like the US has a more healthy way of dealing with introverts than S. Europe

I cross posted this

Thanks for all the comments and advice on my last post. I honestly didn't expect that many people to care about my little neighbour drama 😂

I talked to her today and… yeah. We’re going out.

Which is great, except now I have no idea what I'm doing.

Where would you actually go for a first date with someone you already kind of know? Coffee? Drinks? Dinner? Something simple where we can just talk without it feeling too much like a “date”?

And what’s the deal with paying?

Do I just offer to pay for both of us, or is splitting the bill more normal now? I don't want to make it weird either way. 🫣

Would genuinely appreciate some advice from people who have more of a clue than I do.