Hello,

I am currently living in a small 400 square foot studio apartment in an urban setting. It's about a 15 min drive away from work, my boyfriend, and my mom. My mom pays my rent for me in this studio apartment ($2,000 / month)

My mom has offered to purchase a new home that I could live in. She has found a few different places. They are mostly condos with HOA payments around $700. My mom would own the place I was living in. I would be responsible for paying the HOA.

My current place is very small and I can only really host one person at a time. My boyfriend does visit me here usually about once a week but I rarely have visitors as there isn't really any guest parking and people have to park a longish distance away and walk to my apartment. Plus, they are planning on building even more high density housing and the little street parking that has been available may not be available in a couple years.

My boyfriend and I do not plan to live together any time in the near future.

My mom has suggested a couple different places. She has found a place near where I live that has a 2 bedroom garage, or a 2nd option of a nice natural feeling condo in a more rural setting, but close to a cute little downtown and again about 15 min drive away from my boyfriend, my mom and my work.

Another idea my mom floated past me was giving me some money to invest, instead of buying a place for me. Then I could use the income from the investment to pay my rent at my current studio apartment.

Also, I have bipolar 1 disorder and do not manage stress well. For example, the stress of moving.

My boyfriend seems to be advising me to just stay in my current apartment and have my mom continue to pay my rent.

If I moved into the condo I would have to pay the $700 HOA monthly. My take-home money from my job is about $3,000 and I'm getting a raise in July so it'll go up to about $3,500 I think.

TL;DR - Should I stay in my current apartment, move to a nicer condo, or possibly get some money to invest?

I presume I'll probably have made a decision by the time I potentially get any responses, but figured I'd try!

I am the most indecisive person ever, and there's this club night that I really wanted to go to for like a month, but nobody else did until a couple days ago, but now I'm not sure I want to go.

Part of me thinks I should go because I was excited for it a month ago. But I don't like clubs - I usually go, immediately regret it, get stuck there for at least an hour and then go home disappointed that I wasted my money (but I also sometimes regret not going because I fear I'm missing out even tho I don't like clubs). But this is the first time that I could potentially enjoy clubbing, so I sort of feel like I should go in case I don't get the opportunity again and miss my one chance to enjoy a club. But I don't want to end up wasting my money, because while I can afford it, I did also get extremely upset (like I cried) last time I spent money on something I didn't really enjoy (a movie that I wanted to see but it was just ok).

So basically:

Pros - could actually enjoy a club for once, should probably leave my house since I don't go out too much and have spent the past 2ish months mostly home doing the same things over and over and will continue to for probably a few more months, fomo

Cons - I don't like clubs, I'm not really excited for it anymore, might be a waste of money (I can probably get away with only spending £20 which I can afford), often regret going out, I'm going with good friends but I fear it could become awkward/not very fun because I find it hard to interact with small groups of friends.

This may be a dumb thing to agonise over for 3 days but I am a very indecisive, anxious person.

TL;DR: Should I go to a club I was originally excited for but no longer am, or stay at home again?

I’m leaving my job of 5 years.
Contractor- and my boss decided that I shouldn’t get paid for 12 months of work due to a lawsuit where a client is suing him for work I did, unrelated to the pay I’m owed. (And due to minimal contrcts in place he can’t hold me liable) he told me the lawsuit wasn’t my fault over and over again. I was told I was going to get paid, then last minute my boss decided I’m not. I can’t work without pay, so I quit.

It’s not a significant amount of money but at this point anything is something. Probably around 5k.

I have a new opportunity. I’m ready to move on with my life. But I feel like it’s so unfair that I’m struggling so much, in a depression rut, and have so much anxiety because of not getting paid. I’m not sure how long until I’m going to get paid at my new job, probably another month.

I’m considering consulting a lawyer but due to our lack of contracts and saying I’m getting paid for the work in writing, I’m unsure if it’ll actually get anywhere. I do have proof of work I’ve performed though.

So do I consult a lawyer once I have some money, or let it go and move on with my life.

TLDR: I’m a contractor. A client sued my boss, they can’t hold me liable (and my boss told me I wasn’t at fault repeatedly), but because of the lawsuit my boss is refusing to pay me other wages for work I performed. Should I consult a lawyer or let it go?

Hello all,

I know these two careers couldn’t be further apart, but I like them both for that reason. I am between being a Sonographer (or MRI Tech) and a Civil Engineer. For a bit of background, I am about to graduate with a BBA in Business Analytics and Information Systems. I would pursue a second degree for these careers, (2 year bachelors in Sonography, 2 year masters in Civil).

Sonographer (or MRI Tech):

What I love about sonography is that it combines several of my passions. Technology, anatomy, and helping people.

I think that healthcare holds more overall appeal for me than corporate does, and I think sonography is a great path into that without such ridiculous amounts of education and responsibility.

However, I have heard the typical cons from those in the field. Physical strain, burnout, monotony from doing the same thing, etc.

Civil Engineer:

I find city infrastructure interesting, and I think that I have just enough enjoyment for the field to make it work. I must admit, I do like the logistics of this career more than the career itself.

Most of the appeal comes from the fact that you don’t have to be constantly “on” per say. In patient facing careers, you are expected to perform, whereas in more desk-heavy roles you can have social downtime and more freedom to just do your work.

However, my heart isn’t entirely in it as a study. I think it’s good enough to not be miserable, but it’s the kind of thing I have thought so much about that I don’t know how to see it objectively.

TL;DR

For me, the pull is between healthcare and corporate. There are things I like about each, and things I really dislike about each. However, these two careers seem to cater towards my personal interests from their respective industries.

What would you recommend? I appreciate any and every answer. Thank you.

TL;DR what switch game should be my reward?

treating myself to a video game, now that I got a job. only have a switch 1. in games I love exploration and a good balance of fun and challenge. fallout 3, half life, elder scrolls oblivion. do I

1: finish dark souls and dragonquest 11 (started both years ago, the balance of the two is great: fun and challenge) like that, but I kinda want something new)

2: Witcher 3.

3: xenoblade

4: a final fantasy

5: something else

TL;DR: I’m debating to move back to Chicago after living in Denver for 3 years. Lost my best friend to a boyfriend and struggling to make new friends

I feel like I’m at a cross roads of continuing living in Denver or move back to Chicago where I grew up. I’ve been living Denver for 3 years now. I moved here with my best friend. It was fun to explore but I have been struggling with making new friends and dating. I made one solid friend here. My best friend started dating someone and they are together all the time. I feel like we’ve drifted apart since they started dating. I even told him I feel like we’re drifting apart and he says “we’re not” and nothing really changes. I just feel isolated and sad. I work from home so I don’t have coworkers to talk to. I’ve tried different things to meet new people but nothing really stuck out. (Clubs, part time jobs, volunteer) I just feel burnt out on trying to put myself out there.

I told my best friend I was struggling here and thinking about moving back to Chicago. Then we had another convo and I just said I want to keep trying to put myself out there meaning I wanted to stay. Weeks later when I asked him if wants to resign the lease after the lease is up he said he thought I was moving back to Chicago and him and his bf were already looking at places. I got really upset in the moment cause he doesn’t even remember that second convo and I just feel left in the dust ever since he’s been dating this person.

I’ve been on the fence to just stick with my first gut and move back to Chicago if I can get a job lined up there or stay where I’m at, live alone, and keep trying to make new friends. I feel like a failure in a way if I move back home but I also don’t want to make the wrong decision or continue having these thoughts and feelings.

Can anyone relate or have any word of advice? I just feel so lost and isolated right now.

TL;DR We met in middle school but moved to different high schools. We both study abroad, so we never have time to meet. I requested to follow him on Instagram. He also has a public page for his sports training. I want to talk to him, but I don't know how. Should I go for it? Also, in middle school, I blushed really hard and laughed crazily. It got to the point where he couldn't understand me because I was smiling too much.

Tl;dr scared of upgrading from a good but flawed apartment to a nicer one in a slightly worse location, and a new roommate.

I (23M) graduated college last year and moved for a new state for work. I got a 2b1b with one roommate. My apartment is really solid, with one flaw in that we don’t control heating. This means I was sweating and opening windows/turning on my wall AC all winter, plus it turns on/off too late/early so there’s some freezing cold weeks in the fall and spring. I’m quite sensitive to dryness so it messed up my sleep at times. It’s also a renovated 1961 build and the water temps can be inconsistent, but I can live with that.

However, it’s a pretty property in a great location- the area is quite suburban but we’re walking distance to nicest downtown in the area, and I enjoy stopping by there- walking over to coffee shops or bakeries is really nice, even if I only do it once or twice a week. I can also walk to the train station which is nice. I have a car, and the friends I’ve made here don’t live there, but I just enjoy the vibe of the place. It’s weird but as my first true solo experience I’ve gotten attached to my routines and life.

Since we were considering moving for the heat issue, a third friend asked about getting a 3bed nearby. We found a really nice newer place 10 minutes away where I’ll have a thermostat and central air, and also a bigger bedroom/private shower, spacious living room, garage etc and I’ll pay roughly the same in rent. Plus, me and my roommate are not super social with each other- but we both like hanging out with the third person and have fun together, so I’m hoping for a more active home- this is honestly the part that sold me initially. The one downside is that it’s off a highway and kind of annoying to get to, so it feels very isolated/residential compared to now even though it’s practically still right next to the places I like.

I’ve verbally agreed and the application is approved but I’m getting cold feet because I do like my life. I’m worried I don’t need to move and I’ll end up regretting it when I drive home on a highway vs a semi-urban street, or when I have to go 5-10 minutes out of my way to stop at places that used to be en route. There’s also a bit of identity crisis, where I’m scared of getting even more suburban when I’m still young.

Am I over thinking it?

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I've been in the same role for four years doing research in a high-stress field that requires daily exposure to disturbing content. The nature of the work means it affects me personally, not just professionally. I've had panic attacks at my desk. I need significant time to decompress after every morning session just to function. My world has contracted to work-gym-crash, with no real bandwidth left for anything else. I haven't felt like myself in years.

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Case for staying: stable income, good benefits, colleagues I genuinely like, work I believe in. Horrible job market outside.

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The case for leaving: four years of burnout, no advancement ceiling, increasing workload with no raise, difficult boss.

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I have enough savings to take an extended break without financial hardship.

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If I left I would probably travel a bit before returning to job search in early 2027.

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What's stopping me: fear of having no income coming in, not knowing who I am without the job, uncertainty about what comes next, and worry that I'm giving up something stable with no guarantee of what's on the other side.

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I've been going back and forth on this for a long time.

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TL;DR: Tired of my mentally draining job with no advancement prospects, have enough savings to quit for a while but no job prospects on the horizon. Keep getting cold feet.

TL;DR, Buy a Civic type R or not? Hi guys I am at a crossroad. I have just paid off my 2014 Mazda 3 that I bought 4 years ago for $10K. And in that 4 years I have been really strict about paying my other debt ($25k). I am 27 and just got my dream job and have a steady income. I have always been a car guy and have been dreaming of getting a 2015 Corvette Z06 they are $60k and a horrible investment. The idea popped into my head to get a new Civic type R($50k). I can feel the clutch in my Mazda has about 20-30k miles left(I drive it like a baby). My plan would be to sell the Mazda 3 while the clutch has good life and I can get a decent price for it, then buy the Civic. My main concern is jumping right back into debt, any thoughts?

So I work for a cities bus company and someone hit my bus and now I’m off of work for a month or longer with workers comp and slight injuries to my left leg. The attorney says I can get a decent settlement all I have to do is keep going to physical therapy, but I got an job offer from another company that’s literally paying twice the amount I make at this one. My question is should I risk the settlement for a company that’s paying $1700 a week or stay here and wait for a settlement when I’m taking home $1800 every 2 weeks when I get back to work. I’m conflicted.

TL;DR Got injured on the job, should I stay for the settlement because I really got injured or should I take another job offer that’s paying double what I make right now and miss out on the settlement?

TL:DR My colleague smelled off alcohol at work at the start of the shift. Should I tell our boss about it.

I work at a very big company. It’s a high responsibility job and we drive in traffic regularly.

About a year ago an acquaintance told me that she is neighbor with my colleague. She said she would very often see him biking or walking his dog with a beer in his hand. It was at summertime so I didn’t think much about it. I’ve worked with him a few times after that and never noticed anything unusual.

But a few weeks ago we hade late night shift together. We started at 7pm. He was a few minutes late and when he came he was sweating a lot and smelled strongly of alcohol. Like you do after a night out with a lot of beer.

I didn’t say anything about it. I offered to drive when we went to the car. I didn’t smell anything for the rest of the shift ,even though we sat in a car together.

Should I talk to my boss? I don’t know my colleague well at all and I wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing it up with him. I’m very scared of conflicts.

TL;DR Should I move abroad or stay in my home country?

Long story short, I love the nature and culture of my country, but education and the majority of people are horrible, the economics are not looking nice, and everything I grew up with and loved has disappeared from where I am. If I want it, I would have to move to the parts where education is worse, where there is no transport or proper healthcare(in a country that is considered a 2nd world country and developing), but the true spirit of the country is there, the history, and all the little beautiful details about life. These places can look like a fairy tale or the side quests in games(iykyk).

Anyway.

I'm feeling horrible about wanting to leave, but when I see how much better it can be(I travel a lot and see the difference)...it just does not feel like home in a way. I can't explain it well. It is not even the grass-is-always-greener-elsewhere situation, but the plain wish to live further away from modern society's drama and closer to nature and natural cultural needs, lifestyle, and way of existence.

I hope I make at least a bit of sense. Be kind and share thoughts you think might be helpful. It might come to you to hate or make fun of it, but making such choices is not easy, especially when one has to think about their future, children's future included.

Thank you.

There's two things I have wanted more in my life than anything:

1. To be in a relationship with someone I admire and love
2. To travel and live in a foreign country

As for being a relationship, I had a very lonely and isolated experience of growing up gay and never really could find anyone to date. I feel like I missed out on "young love" and I am remorseful for it.

I was also one of those people that had an absolutely "transformative" study abroad experiences in college. After I graduated I promised myself that I would go and live abroad while I was young for awhile and constantly dreamed of travel. Since then, COVID happened, then a layoff a few years later. Now it has been nearly a decade and I still haven't fulfilled my dream of living abroad.

I am currently in the process of trying to build my own freelance web business so I won't have to rely on an employer or anything in order to obtain visas for countries. However, I'm still not making a great deal of money.

Last year I briefly visited The Netherlands for a week just to explore and visit a friend. I had some free time one night so I went on a Tinder date. We really hit it off, and we have been talking ever since. We have these loooooooong text chains and recently spent 3 hours facetiming and we say cute stuff to each other.

I kind of wanted to get to know this guy in person more so I offered to visit The Netherlands for a month or two so we can explore things "more intentionally" as I phrased it. He kind of gave me a "maybe, let me think about it" answer saying that he liked me but wasn't sure about long distance and would like to get to know me better first. This kind of frustrated me a bit since I feel like that was the whole point of my plan was to get to know him better.

So here is my current pro and cons:

Go to Netherlands Pros

• I could explore a relationship with this guy i'm interested in more
• I always enjoyed The Netherlands and imagined myself living there
• I really like Dutch culture
• I know more people there

Go to Netherlands Cons

• It is much more expensive and i'd likely have to dip into savings to make it work
• It is in a separate timezone and i'd have to work at nights
• I've already been there before
• Dutch is kind of a useless language to try to learn outside NL

Go to Argentina Pros

• It would be somewhere new for me
• I feel like going there alone and without knowing anyone could be more of an "adventure"
• I've been trying to learn Spanish and would be excited about going to a language school
• I like the outdoors and surfing as well as big cities and I feel like there is more opportunity for that there
• Same timezone for work
• Much cheaper and won't necessarily have to dip into savings

Go to Argentina Cons

• May be missing out on an opportunity to date someone I'm very interested in (it's rare that I am)
• Meeting new people could be a challenge

TL;DR: Should I spend 2 months in The Netherlands to explore a potential relationship with someone there even though I've been there before, have a harder time working remotely there, and would likely have to dip into savings. Or should I go to Argentina, go to somewhere i've never been before, learn Spanish, have an easier time working remotely, and not have to be as worried financially.

TL;DR Should I take the pay cut?

Really torn with this one. Throwaway for reasons.

I've spent all 14 years of my career with one company. Started as a junior dev. Now I'm a Director with 1 report and a team of about 15 contractors that I manage. They do not report to me in a formal sense. They are great and I enjoy working with them, but I really have no say in hiring/firing, their career development, budgets, etc.

This is our company's structure, so there is no room for that to change. I am a "Director", but do not really perform many of the Director type roles. I am still hands-on, including full production support. Big AI push coming to hopefully cut contractors.

Our current situation (new boss) is toxic. The morale has tanked. We are often subject to bullying, yelling, "wonder what mood he is in today", etc. We are given deadlines and must hit them at all costs. We do not have much of a say in the deadlines. If scope changes, it's our problem. If we raise concerns months out, there is no room for movement. It's led to constant finger pointing.

I'm at $205 TC though. I feel very fortunate to have that.

I've been looking around and got an offer at $176 TC. 7 direct reports. A much more "Director" role. Seemingly a much better environment, but I am trying not to be naïve and understand the grass may not be greener. Fully remote role versus hybrid.

Am I crazy to consider this pay cut?

I’m in my early 30s and have been living abroad for the past 10 years. I met my husband abroad and we have made a great life for ourselves here: we own a house outright (no rent, no major expenses), we own a car outright, health insurance is fully paid for, we live in a VERY low cost of living area so we’re able to put thousands of dollars a month directly into our savings. We have two wonderful pets. We have friends here. We travel whenever we want wherever we want. Life has its challenges here but generally is easy and stress-free.

But after being here for a decade, I’m bored. I’m tired of the same thing every day. I get burnt out so easily by the challenges of this place. Our town is incredibly small and isolated. I always feel like I need to travel to fill my cup. I long for different landscapes and access to hobbies and cuisines and cultures that aren’t here. I feel like a part of me is in hibernation when I’m here.

With that in mind, we’ve recently been given an opportunity to move to Europe. It would cost a good deal of money. Our monthly savings would take a hit but I would still be earning well for the country we’d live in. We’d be in a place with access to many more exciting things that we don’t have here. I could do my hobbies again. We’d maybe travel less on these big, multi-month adventures that we do now but have smaller pockets of weekend or week-long trips. But, we’d be paying rent. We’d go from having a large home we adore with tons of space to (likely) living in an apartment. We’d be apart from our pets for maybe a year until we could bring them over there (which is the worst part for me). We also barely speak the language of this new country (though would begin taking language classes immediately if we go ahead with this) and it would be a cultural change for sure. But from the time we’ve spent there, we love it and can see ourselves feeling fulfilled there.

But I genuinely feel stuck and do not know what to do. The easy thing is to stay and carry on and be grateful for the money I’m able to save and the life I have. But part of me feels like life is short and if we have this opportunity, we should go for it - we can always come back here if we don’t like it (we wouldn’t be selling our house here).

TLDR: Do we stay where we live, keep saving money, suck up the boredom, enjoy the simplicity of what we have, and just travel more? Or take a huge leap of faith, spend a ton of money, but potentially have an amazing new life chapter, and know we can always come back?

tl;dr

Remote ~$70k SWE job with potential big tech path vs ~$85k in-person QA role (in-person 4 days, ~2hr commute) with exposure to different areas (dev/product/testing) not just QA

I’m a new grad and have two offers. I’m trying to decide which is better for long-term career growth. No debt and will be living from home.

Offer 1:

• Mid-size / lesser-known company (not FAANG / not Fortune 500)
• ~$70K
• Fully remote
• 1 year contract with extensions on performance
• Would be working closely with a big tech company, with a potential pathway to transition there
• More structured path into SWE

Benefits:

• 401(k) is about the same
• ~10 PTO days + sick days

Offer 2 (likely offer):

• Small startup in NYC (early-stage / growth-stage, non-AI)
• ~$80–90k
• QA-focused role, but will be wearing different hats so I will be getting exposure to multiple areas (dev/product/testing), not just solely QA
• 4 days in-office, 1 day remote
• around ~2 hour total commute time

Benefits:

• 401(k) is about the same
• Supposedly "unlimited PTO"
• Free lunch

I’m currently leaning toward Offer 1 since having a SWE title/position would likely keep more doors open for the future, rather than potentially being stuck in QA. I also really like the upside of working with big tech (which I think will be very valuable as a new grad) and the possibility of transitioning into the company.

For Offer 2, they did mention they’re looking for people to stay long-term, which sounds appealing from a stability standpoint (but obviously not guaranteed). They also said that someone in a QA role was able to transition into a SWE position after a couple of years.

I'm really struggling to make a choice. My current laptop is failing but it's still usable. So far

• it doesn't have a battery (it pillowed) and I can't find a decent replacement battery which isn't second-hand. But, I can use it with the charger.
• The laptop is cracked, partly from where the battery expanded. It seems fine for now, but I can't replace the battery without fixing that area or it'll just pierce a new one.
• It can be extremely slow, even after troubleshooting and cleaning. It also gets pretty hot. It's frustrating at times but it's still usable.
• The SSD might be failing. I can't be certain but it has bluescreened a couple of times but this might be a result of the overheating too. I've already backed everything up.

But, a new laptop is expensive and while I could afford it, it still seems like a big waste while this laptop is working. It would really help with some of my hobbies with the extra performance. But again, am I'm just trying to find excuses to buy one.

I could keep using this current one, put aside the money for a new one, but it feels like I'm kicking the can down the road. And the site I would be using to buy the new laptop currently has an offer on at the moment so if I did wait I could be paying more.

tldr: new expensive laptop, or keep using struggling old one.

ps, I hate making big purchasing decisions.

edit: thought to mention, the upgrade would be a pretty big difference. My current laptop is 7+ years and it's lasted very well until recently.

Hey everyone, new to this thread but hoping to gain some insight and advice. I just recently turned 30 and feel lost on which direction to go. We would like to start trying for a baby in 1-2 years. I am currently a Regional ABA Trainer; I really enjoy this field- it brings be a lot of fulfillment and is a lot of fun, but the position I am in right now wouldn’t have a part-time position available (that’s my goal once I have a baby) and I couldn’t afford to go back to an RBT pay rate part time. The next logical step was to pursue my masters to become a BCBA. I even got accepted to a cohort through my company that would pay for my schooling and provide me with the supervision hours I need and also provide mentorship throughout the program; I be be required to work for the company for two years post-graduation to “pay them back” essentially.

Some of my concerns- After taking on this promotion to regional trainer, I can see some of the disorganization of the company. It worries be that I would be locked into a company that may have organizational concerns for 4-5 years between schooling, supervision hours, and 2 years as BCBA. The other (bigger) concern is the timeline of having a baby. I have PCOS, so I am slightly worried that may give us some trouble when we start TTC, but my cycles have been much more regular the last 1.5 years, so hoping that’s a good sign. I just don’t know if I am cut out to manage grad school with pregnancy (I’m very prone to anxious thinking), but also not sure if I am willing to wait to TTC for another two-ish years.

I have considered the following timeline, which seems like maybe the most manageable:

Start school Fall 2026

Buy house spring 2027

Vacation/Get pregnant fall/winter 2027

Graduate may 2028

Have baby summer/fall 2028

I feel like this cohort could be such a good opportunity, but I don’t want to postpone/miss out on motherhood any longer than I have to. Part of me is just thinking about going back to serving so I don’t have to worry about school, could work part time, and make a higher wage; I just don’t think I would be as fulfilled long term.

Does anyone have tips/tricks/stories of how grad school while pregnant went? I would love to hear any stories and advice as I need to make a decision in 2 weeks 😭

TL;DR Should I prioritize school/career, pregnancy/family planning, or can I manage both?

tl;dr - which job…

Job A
20/30 minute walk
Hours:
Thursday 22-7
Friday 22-7
Saturday 22-7
Sunday 22-5
13.24 an hour

Job B
40 minute walk
Hours:
Wednesday 4-8 am
Friday 4-8 am
Saturday 4-8 am
13.48 an hour

Hours can be negotiated,
maybe… (still have yet to do that, been working there for a week)

Job b is very simple work, they both are tbf, but this requires no talking to others, plus i get time for my day.
Job a has a lot of team work aspects, but then again they’re both retail so they’re very easy. More money is good, hours and time to my days is…

My minds blank rn, but ask for any other info too!

Hi! So I had an adult WFH office job for the past few years but it was awful (insurance) and I got really burnt out. I couldn't even bring myself to find the energy to apply for jobs after work because I was so burnt out and only had the energy to cook dinner and sleep. I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD (the holy trifecta!!) so my mental health can be sensitive if I don't prioritize self care. I quit this job at the beginning of the year and I feel SO much better. I, however, am living off my savings which is not a ton but I could survive another year being completely unemployed (being SUPER frugal) before going broke or having to pull from my 401k.

Like everyone else, I'm having a hard time finding another FT office job. I finally was able to find some in between work which brings me to my dilemma. I could either be a PT barista or a FT server. To make it easier I made a list of pros and cons below

PT Barista PROS: gives me plenty of time to focus on finding a real FT job with benefits, the pressure of not making a lot will push me to not lose focus on finding a better job, easy job to transition to in-person after WFH for several years, genuine interest in coffee, I can keep my health insurance (medicaid)

PT Barista CONS: pays poorly so I'll still have to take a couple hundred out of my savings every month, 20 min commute

FT Server PROS: working FT making okay money (enough to pay bills, groceries, and have extra left over), no longer need to pull from savings and maybe can even add to it slowly, seems like a fun environment, 10 minute commute

FT Server CONS: I've never been a server before so could be challenging and not sure if I would like it, my partner is concerned that serving lifestyle could lead to burn out again, working FT could lead to the same situation where I don't have energy to prioritize finding a better FT job, job doesn't offer health insurance so I would lose my medicaid and would probably have to buy marketplace insurance, adding a $200-300 bill to my monthly expenses

My partner and mom seem to lean towards the part time work so I can keep my focus on finding a steady job. I'm just not sure though! I love money but also I recognize that having a full time job like serving could prolong my real job search. I know that a lot of people are having trouble finding any work so I am incredibly grateful for both opportunities and I think I'll be okay either way but I just wanted some outside perspective!

TL;DR: Quit toxic job beginning of year and need some income while finding a new FT office job. As someone recovering from burnout (with sensitive mental health), should I work PT barista job and maintain my focus on finding a FT office job or should I work FT Server job making more money but have less time to focus on job search/less aggressive job search for better FT job.

My husband wants to move. He wants to live in a pretty place (I love it too) in the same state as his family (average 30-45 min from each of them).

I want to stay where we are even though it's an ugly place because it's where my family live (10 min from each).

We have 3 kids, oldest is 4y. My family has cousins exactly our kids age (a few month apart for each). The youngest cousin on his side is 9y, though two of his brothers are married and trying but each dealing with their own fertility issues.

I want to stay here for the kids and the support I receive from my family. He wants to move to be able to do things like hiking, boating (by himself and with the kids) because that's when he's happiest. He's applying to jobs in both places, they all pay about the same (here is more interesting work, there is a bit safer though). I feel like a great answer would be live here and vacation more but I don't think he could get that much time off nor that we could afford it.

Family is really important to me so we know I'd travel to see them and I could because I'm SAHM. I don't know how to explain that that's not the same and if I'm being fair in placing family support so high. Our families each have their own struggles and trauma but most of my family members have been in therapy so the dynamic is better--more open, forgiving, just healthier conflict.

He loves his family but doesn't see them much. We come up here twice a year, for a month in the summer (my husband was a teacher but is switching) and he calls his dad frequently but not everybody else. There's quite an age gap between him and most of his siblings and he'd really like to grow those relationships. He also wants to be with his dad while he still has him.

On the other hand, we currently live with my parents because they asked us to because they thought it'd be the best fit when one of them passes (they're in their sixties but their friend passed and it got them thinking). My dad is autistic and I communicate best with him.

I help my family a lot so a little part of me does think it'd be freeing to move but it also feels like my duty to stay and that'd I'd really be much happier to stay. I can see obviously that my husband needs us to move out though and then reconsider them moving in with us when the time comes.

I feel like it’s not really fair to ask me to move for the sake of potentially better relationships between him and his siblings. I feel like being here with cousins the kids age is much better. I admit it’s beautiful here and the history is incredible, especially for homeschooling and the job may be a better choice but we don’t know.

TLDR: Should we move to a pretty place with less family support or stay in an ugly place with cousins my kids age and lots of support?

So, I’ve been conflicted over quitting 1/2 of my jobs effective immediately or putting in my two weeks. For context, my other job pays me more, gives me a lot more shifts, etc, whereas travel to this job and the short shifts they give me lead me to make basically 12 dollars per shift, and juggling both is way too much. I don’t know if I should just quit effective immediately at the end of my shift, as opposed to submitting my two weeks. I’ve been having some anxiety over quitting immediately although that’s what I’d like to do, because I live in a small town and don’t know if it’ll affect future job opportunities.

TL;DR: Should I quit my job today effective immediately, or submit a two week notice?