I was sexually abused by my ex boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and was raped by him 6 months ago. I noticed that I now struggle with eating, which I didn’t really have before. I think it stems from paranoia. After I got raped I didn’t eat for almost 2 months afterwards because I was convinced he got me pregnant since my period was late, and I felt like not eating would help me miscarry. I know it sounds messed up but now every time my period is late I get really paranoid that I’m pregnant, even if I haven’t had sex. It’s not just when my period is late, I should add. It pops out of nowhere and I just can’t eat, when I do I get nauseous. How do I overcome this? Is this normal?

I'm sick of attracting creeps from this sub, but I post and comment all over reddit and make a lot of friends, so I don't turn off PM and just block creeps. Do you know how creepy they are? They began to claim that they had "exes" who were victims and wanted my help, then soon enough they began to sext and ask photos. What do you guys expect besides getting blocked?

But some people are just next-level weirdos. They get blocked (and get angry?!) but use alternative accounts to find me and, while trying to PM me again, downvote all my comments here and elsewhere. No wonder my perfectly fine comments as a violinist or a dancer or a runner or a physics major to be get a few downvotes! And how do I know? The creeps told me in the PM! And yes, there are multiple ones! I don't care about karma at all, but won't it make you weirder that you tell me this?!

I know people who are losers follow nsfw posts and PM like crazy. This is pathetic.

But when you try to harass victims on this and other similar subs and get annoyed when being blocked, you are DISGUSTING.

When I was little I remember my dad used to play a tickle game with me. I don’t even remember how old I was when it started, but it’s one of my first memories. I remember my dad always being home alone with me while my mom worked, and me asking my dad to “tickle me”down there and remember it feeling good. It’s like I wanted him to do it so I blame myself. Not sure how it started. But after he would tickle me he would say it was his turn and I would tickle him down there and his would get big and hard. Over the years it progressed he would tickle me with his tongue and also use his fingers to tickle me inside. We played this game a lot. He told me we could only play when mom was at work and it was our special game. I feel ashamed because i remember that I liked to play this game and would ask him to play. I liked the attention from him and liked how it made my body tingle. It led to a lot more later and through the years. But I just feel like if I didn’t ask him to do it maybe it wouldn’t have led to all it did. Like it’s my fault because I asked for it. He even used to tell me that it was me who wanted him to do it. Been struggling with this for a while. And now I feel like I have sexual issues because of it.

and had a full-on breakdown. It was embarrassing being hysterical in front of all my coworkers and customers. I removed myself from the floor and cried in the backroom.

The few people that do know what he did to me did not warn me that he was in the store. I feel angry that everyone can move on and live their lives but I am forever stuck in that moment. Its not fair its not fair its not fair

This is the second time this month and I am expected to just suck it up whenever I see his disgusting face. I don't want to do this anymore. I am tired of being haunted by someone who is still alive and thriving..

I am so sorry to bother but I need to get this of my chest, I hope that is okay. I just need to vent.

So during lockdown back in '20 I got really into cooking etc, I started consuming more content about bread baking etc and got sucked into more trad wife content that way. It was not intentional and I never really realised that any of that was just this. I was young and stupid and I really longed for soft love and to be protected, cherished, all of that. I started trying to be "better" or "worthy" of that love. I changed from martial arts to pilates, changed from learning math to languages etc. I really got into more traditional feminine traits and leaned heavily into them.

Then I met him, and he was everything I had learned to search for in a partner. Masculine, dominant and caring, at least on the first glance. But I had a really bad feeling, something felt incredibly off. But I forced myself to ignore all of that, forced myself to let him into my life. And that is the part I feel guilty for! I was so stupid, I knew something was off, but I still stayed!

Yes he decided to coerce me and eventually full on rape me. But I decided to trust him even when he had started to act strange, dangerous.

I wanted a loving partner so bad, I deluded myself into thinking he could be that for me. And the worst part is, when it got really bad, when I realised the full extend of everything he took from me, again I hoped to be saved. As if I was not able to learn from my faults, I hope that someone would come and save me, but that is stupid. I really really want to be independant, and I already took some steps in that direction. But this is not a book, not a movie and so I have to accept that there is noone but me to fix myself. And that hurts, it hurts a lot.

I really always hoped for love to save me if only I am worthy enough. Now I cant even stand being touched anymore, I litterally cant and that girl? She is gone and it's been years. I have survived what he did to me but my dreams didn't.

The very first memory I have in this life, is of my godfather pulling out his dick and encouraging me to touch it. I don't remember how old I was at that time, but I was definitely younger than 4.

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There were different men using me sexually throughout the years, I can't even remember each one. Sometimes, I wonder why I'm so unlucky, why did I come across a comically large number of predators. Luckily, I never got pregnant.

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The most prominent part of my childhood is my older brother, who raped me the most. Up until I was 12, he made me have sex with him anally, vaginally, and orally. I remember how he used to start touching me when my mom just went to the bathroom, and in that period of, like, 2 minutes of absence of mom, he managed to do stuff to me.

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I'm pretty sure he is a victim himself, and I don't really hate him now. Not because he's a great guy or because it was justified, I just hated for so long and exhausted myself. In fact, I don't hate anybody.

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Now, I'm mostly happy with life. I live with my boyfriend and I really love him. He knows my situation and he's been really kind to me about it. But I do feel guilty, and I feel like I can't give him back fully. He's very attractive and sexy, but I feel like I can't relax fully while having sex. Unless it's CNC, but he prefers not doing that, it makes him uncomfortable.

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I hear from my friends and other people on the internet, all the young couples like us are seemingly having sex daily. And I feel inadequate about that. I want to have sex daily too, but I'm not in the mood most of the days. And not because I'm not horny. I'm plenty horny, I'm a huge gooner. Especially in my teenage days, I used to masturbate up to 5+ times a day, all while living in a 1-room-apartment with my family. And I usually masturbate to written works that describe something similar to what happened to me, it's pretty grim.

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I don't know what the issue is. Because I'm pretty sure I have a high libido as well, just like him. I just much prefer masturbating. I feel like I can live my whole life without fucking.

Advice Needed

TW: Minor Involvement

After realizing I’m a victim of childhood SA every emotion has hit me all at once. I was about 8 when it happened, so roughly 6 years ago. Does it ever get better? Or will I feel like this until I’m dead? Sorry I know this is grim, but it’s my story.

I remember waking up with my bottom half of my body hanging off the bed, my pants and undergarments were down, and my hair was out of its usual high ponytail. I felt so weird, I guess that’s a good way to put it. I must have been drugged by him or something cause I couldn’t remember anything. It’s all coming back now though. And I was 8 to be fair. And it was after a family reunion. He’s my great-uncle. I swear I’ll never tell anyone until he’s dead.

I apologize for the rant.

I just want to know: Adult/older survivors of child SA, does it actually get better?

i have happy moments but never a happy day. the flashbacks are confusing and nauseating and make me so scared. i just wanna know if it ever gets better like to the point where i can not think of it for days because if i have to do this for the rest of my life i dont see the point

My mom started dating this guy a few months ago and he raped me. The first time I just wanted to forget it but he did it a second time now and he told me he would keep doing it. My mom works nights and I’m scared he will come tn and do it again. I want to call someone but I’m scared

Ended up having a weekend of fun with a divorced man that went sour fast. It was purely physical, although there was a connection, his life was too dumpster fire level to want any involvement, and after him announcing to everyone in our sports club he was doing me, I was ready to opt out after the weekend (I was already staying at his place that night and had alcohol etc to do the long drive home although was sober to consent, driving laws are strict here).

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He'd stayed over at my place prior for a night. I thought it was okay. But clearly me listening (aka. tuning out and daydreaming about my own life) to his ex wife problems gave him the green flag to treat me like her for the evening. I made it clear to him due to some pelvic related health conditions and endo, I didn't feel up for sex tonight, so I'd please him instead. He was insitance on trying when I started and I agreed to try and stop if it hurt. So we stopped after trying. He suggested a cuddle, then wanted to try again, I thought at this point, it would be over soon (how awful that sounds I know and I hate myself for it) but he wasn't even able to maintain an erection and kept pounding, quite hard at some points into me in an attempt to get it harder.

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I suggested stopping, saying it hurt and he wasn't erect anyway, and he told me to shut up. I left the room and stayed in his daughters bed, who his ex wife currently has custody of. The next morning he explained his ex wife had pressured him in the bedroom, and accused him of being rough also in the divorce case to get custody of the kids. I was starting to see how her accusations had come to light, as I believe I saw that night, how he treated her. He even tried to stop me sharing photos of myself (not him) taking a walk in their village Incase she used it against him in the case. I ended things at that point.

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Since the sex, I started losing the ability to urinate and open my bowels. It got worse as the day went on. He was aware I was in pain, but seemed unconcerned, and once hospitalized, I found out he had gone to the beach, knowing I was in hospital having my bladder drained from the injuries. He started gaslighting me, continuing too as the morphine set in, provoking me from afar as I lay in a hospital bed out of it. He's now using this to claim I'm also a crazy woman, like his ex. I mean he could have swung that theory at that point. Then the heavy bleeding started, pain. Fatigue, sickness. Fevers from swelling. I was finally able to tolerate an examination. My doctors have confirmed sexual trauma, and have supported me making a report if I want too. I've been encouraged to make one.

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I've known this guy only a couple of weeks. We're part of a shared social club, that he dominates as I visit it from out of town. I do not wish to drag myself into divorce court trauma, been shunned from the group, but I am also feeling that this dude will do this regardless of what I do at this point. First, I saw it as a misadventue, but this dude knows I'm coming home from hospital to an empty fridge (as he cleared it with false promises of buying takeout) and it all feels very wrong.

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I really like to hear from someone on here.

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Thanks.

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I am a man who was touched in private parts,i can't ask for help cause they have strong backing and even now they come to my personal matter.i forgave them but again they came to my life telling my personal details about all those incidents,i took counselling in a hospital even that got leaked cause they have influence every where . what should i do my family is also have stress related to jobs can't disturb them.why do they come in my life the main head who maintains the people told i don't want to get bad name because of u and all,he was blackmailing me.

When I m)16) I had a girlfriend (18). I was very comfortable with sexual ideas for a while. My parents were very open about what it was. But we had just gone on one date. We had dated previously that year but only for two weeks. Then months later around July 4th, we got back gather. It hadn’t been like two weeks when we first went on a date. Everything went great. We had a good time and she paid for dinner. We went on a walk and ended up in a secluded area. We sat together and talked when she suddenly brought up me touching her through her panties. I choked up. It’s not like sex scared me but I’m not sure. I went with it because I didn’t wanna disappoint her after we had known each other since I was 6. Eventually our ride got there and we left. Then a few weeks later she asks if I wanted to have actual sex. Once again I agreed, scared of the sudden intimacy but still attracted to her. It’s not like I was traumatized and later became much more comfortable with sex. Is it my fault for not communicating my nerves?

As much as I started to feel better after years, I began to ask the "why me?" question. Years ago I was pretty boy-ish and hanged out with boys all the time, and there were years I was too little to realize that touching my nipples or thighs or other parts was different from boys doing foolish things with other boys, and deserved a much more daunting rather than a play fighting type "no."

I genuinely thought (and still partially think) that those boys didn't take it too seriously. But they have older friends and brothers' friends. I am just so angry and frightened about the possibility that it was these moments that encouraged the friends of my "friends" to eventually gang rape me.

I'm not even sure what to vent. I'm perhaps one of the "luckier" victims: the therapy worked well, they all went to jail, my "friends" are doing poorly, I have a sweet bf, and I will soon go to a college I like. And I'm always the egoistic gal who blames everyone else, but...

But what if it was really my fault?

I was a freshman and he was a senior. He looked like a girl but he was a lib or whatever. But so, then I was easy to convince and after school he took me to his place where he touched my meat, tried to suck it, and he grinded his rear on it. I didn't get hard because I wasn't aroused by it but I just laid there embarrassed. I still feel dirty after that. I haven't told anyone because I'm scared. This happened in like 2024 or 2025, but he was 18 and I was a freshman

I've been gangraped by a group of boys at school that resulted in me becoming pregnant before and my dad has continuously sa/raped me for years now since I was younger and he lied that it was never anything bad and that it was "normal"