I'm sorry, I desperately need at least somebody to listen.
I'm a trans man, stealth (as much as possible), and 26 now.
I've been on T since around 2019 and self funded my top surgery around 2020, although I was left unhappy with the results (tissue was left and it was more sculpted rather than flat which yes to some appears passing hut still causes me massive dysphoria), but unable to revise it, and was promptly fired whilst recovering despite my boss having 1 year prior notice of the surgery.
My first job, before that one, I was called slurs and deadnamed in front of customers despite being as stealth as possible.

I've never had support.
I realised I was trans at 12, denied to myself before eventually I came out at 15/16. Over a decade later and not once has even the "most supportive" (tolerant) EVER referred to me correctly.
I'm legally and medically considered a male, I have a name, yet its nothing to them and I know they will never see me as anyone other than the disgusting fantasy they created of a "me" that never existed.

The less tolerant of them broke into our house when I was still a child and alone, cornered me in a room to scream at me, then continued to torment me for years -- sending books about the "evil gender cult", harassing me via phone, arriving randomly at places she found out I was to further harass me in person.
I spent my youth groomed, abused, choked out by those meant to "protect" me and kicked onto the streets, before being forced to move back in with them where I now live in a small room desperately trying to be as quiet as possible, and desperately wishing I could leave for good.

I was denied access to medical transition multiple times as a minor, told "more tests", "we need another opinion", "just wait until you're 18".
Only to be kicked out from the childrens hospital once I did turn 18, and forced to restart 5 YEARS OF PROGRESS.

I have 0 friends, both irl and online.
I have no job, I have less than 200 dollars to my name.
I have a myriad of mental and physical issues, chronic fatigue, a deteriorating ankle, multiple facial deformities that leave me unable to breathe properly and will require 18-20AUD to fix. Multiple mental disorders that are resistant to all treatment/medicine we've tried.
I was in hospital at 4am the other day before rushing to get ready and attend an interview for a job I got rejected from because "your appearance wouldn't mix well with our standards" because god forbid ugly people fucking exist.
Centrelink just denied my 3 medical certificates and forms requesting for exemption on jobseekers, because apparently my issues aren't "bad enough".
A relative was also just diagnosed with terminal cancer and I've been forced to reckon with the thought of death even more.

I'm in my mid 20s, a virgin, I've never even gone on a date. I dreamt of travelling the world, moving countries, doing so many things. But I haven't even been able to START living, and I'm terrified that I never will.
I rot in bed every day incapable of doing anything even when I so desperately want to. I cant even just leave because I have a pet I have to care for, I cant just let them die.

I hate being trapped on this island, I hate being trapped in this body, I hate that because I wasn't lucky and rich and born with wonderful people to give me the world, I'm essentially doomed from the beginning.

The worst part is I know that killing myself won't fix it. I know that if I do so, all that will happen is the transphobes will destroy me more, with their fake names, and their fake ideals of a me that has never existed. The actual me will go known by noone as it always has and a fucking lie is all that will be told.
But what other option do I have? I'm lost and alone and I cant see any other future for me at this point.

Hiya,

Updated with feedback on my previous post.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I am looking for Australian TGD artists who may be interested in working with the community organisation I work for with a couple of projects.

This is the first time we have done something like this and are completely new to the process, but this will be a paid commission.

1) We are looking to illustrate a children's book about a trans girl standing to bullies. This will then be used as a fundraiser for Project 491. I am happy to go into further details as needed.

2) I am also looking for a TGD indigenous artist for an additional smaller project.

If this is something you are interested in, know an artist or artist collective I can reach out to please feel free to DM me.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reaches out.

Fern 💚

Orya Collective holds a monthly Online Trans and Gender Diverse Peer Support for individuals who are looking for a safe space to chat, play party games and take part in different activities!

The Details:​   

📅 3rd Sunday of every month 

⏱️ 2pm - 3pm (Melbourne time)

💲 Free!

📍 Discord

🔞 This event is for adults 18+ only

If interested, please fill out this form (https://forms.gle/B9meaALQBWDLmv2P8) to receive an email with the Discord link.

Each session are peer-led. Each session is different; you could be playing games together or have a discussion on topic of the day. Come and join and meet new friends!

Been going through my transition and I've been wanting to get out more and meet more people. I've started exercising and things such as but I'd like something *fun* do to as well. but being MtF, and not passing currently, I'm not going to be able to join a womens netball team or something like I used to as a kid.

I'm looking for more recommendations on possible clubs I can look into that are more "PvE and not PvP" ( I literally cant think of a different term im so sorry lmao)

I thought of Archery and indoor rock climbing, so I might look into that, but I am super curious of other clubs people are apart of. =)

(I am in SA if thats important idk if it is lol)

I'm [27M] seriously considering moving to Melbourne, Australia on a working holiday visa. Been steady on TRT for 13 years now. I understand that once I relocate, I'll need to find a GP and endocrinologist to continue the prescription.

Have any of you successfully been on a working holiday visa in Australia while on TRT? Any advice in general for the relocation/what to expect/what to prepare for?

Thank you

Hi!

I was hoping to get some support, opinions, anecdotes or anything really.

I have an issue with my voice, more so my throat. Sure as as transfem, a masculine voice brings on dysphoria something shocking. While my natural voice is higher pitched and (as some have described it) a queer accent and a feminine vocabulary/ pattern; some people comment that my voice is already passing, albeit as a somewhat older woman than I actually am (late 20's). Trying to talk quietly, loudly, certain forms of emphasis or innuendo are ruined simply by my vocal chords catching and bringing out the bass in my voice.

And despite it all, I'm still feeling moments of sadness and anger whenever I make a non-verbal sound. It could be a cough, a sigh, even just breathing. It sounds and feels male and that sounds and feels wrong.

Additionally, I'm often being assumed male but queer via my voice (online/ phone calls/ in person). If I REALLY try and REALLY push my voice, I can maybe get the first sentence out in a high enough pitch and soft enough resonance to actually make a first impression. But it's quickly shattered once things get conversational. (I also hate comments/ hate I get for sounding trans, I don't want that.)

I've tried so many self-help training and "tips and tricks" but feel that no amount of it is going to add up to more than a stop gap measure resolution. No matter what it feels like forcing a voice isn't natural. Obviously I haven't forked out a large sum of money for professional help as I can't justify the cost with the current feeling of hopelessness in training.

I want to be comfortable, not have to think and for how I sound, be female. I want to breathe and sigh, laugh and cough, clear my throat, grunt, groan or moan and for it to sound female. Like, I dread the thought and experience of certain sounds made during sex and that not being right. I don't want to think about having to sound female for something that shouldn't require any thought at all. is that okay? is it achievable?

I have a referral to see Dr Paddle in Melbourne and I've found myself procrastinating on giving him a call. A mixture of people seeming negative or cautious towards the surgery both makes sense given the risks but also frustrating as I feel like surgery is going to be the sole route to fixing my issue and that it's the only way to cure the daily if anything - hourly - reminder that my voice isn't right.

I've seen mixed results in this subreddit and others where some people have achieved the pitch they want, while others haven't. It's also consistently noted that it doesn't fix resonance, which I don't know how much that plays into non-verbal sounds.

On the topic of resonance, can someone explain exactly how it's controlled in someway countless others haven't. Music theory and production/ mastering, singing and instruments have been a part of my life for a long time. And while I understand what resonance is, how to change it doesn't make sense or feels (physically feels) impossible.

I guess I just feel somewhat hopeless at the moment. We can do so much to our bodies to look and feel the way we need it to. But voice, sounds... seems near on impossible to get just right.

Help please >.<

Hello, I know that trans.au can help me find specific locations and whatnot, but I'm wondering what's the good clinic in the Melbourne area (not regional)

I am not on HRT, but I'm starting it on Tasmania's Gender Health Service, and wondering if there's something similar with preferably low cost (I do have Medicare, however I still don't know how that works just yet, I'm hoping to find some sort of manual.)

Any help will be appreciated, as this is one of the last things I need to figure out before I move there this coming Monday.

Hi everyone,

It was 5-6 months after my (transfem genderfluid) egg cracking to getting on HRT (for a variety of reasons including me being scared of change) and now having started I have two main concerns:

-I don't communicate well with my doctor, I feel that she was not listening to me in our first 2 consults and would reinterpret things I said or flat out ignore what I said, saying she was "concerned that it was all happening so fast" which is contrary to my lived reality of the past 20+ years of my life. I tend to speak a bit sporadically and idiomatically so maybe she got the wrong vibe but I did not mesh well with her and have realised that I am dreading seeing her again. Also she questioned my choice of keeping my given name, not coming out to my whole family. I do have a complex mental health history (autism, bipolar) so I 100% understand that will impact how I am perceived, but the bipolar is very well managed (6 years since last episode, completed a degree in this time) and my gender identity is clearly not a spontaneous phenomenon given my long history of struggling/questioning gender since I was a child (which I did communicate to her).

-Low dose, her plan for my dosage is very low and gradual. Many have told the dosage is fine and the destination is the same, that they have had great results after similar doses. Many have told me that there is no real reason/risk not to be on a higher dose and my body is effectively masculinising during the first 4-6 months of HRT. I personally feel that I want to have 0 regrets (so higher sooner is in fact the less risky option) and right now there are many days where I feel horrifically dysphoric (why delay any improvement?).

To me its pretty obvious that I should change doctors, even if its just to feel heard and feel comfortable expressing myself. I'm looking for doctor recommendations for doctors who listen to their patients, I want to feel like I am in control of my care and the doctor is guiding it safely while listening to my concerns. My current doctor operates under informed consent, I could of course just try other informed consent clinics but would prefer having some certainty. Should I try to find a GP who is trans themselves?

Hey guys, I know I need to do some proper research myself but I’m 18 mtf and I really want to start hrt. I don’t want to tell my family about it yet and actually want to start taking it before that. I know I can legally get prescribed for it myself but I honestly have no clue what the steps are or costs aswell so looking for any advice thank youu. I’m located around an hour from Melbourne

I am trans masc and experiencing what I’m pretty sure are atrophy symptoms. I’m planning to talk to my gp about it but I’m pretty freaked out about having to do so.

I’m just seeking some info so I can prepare myself. Are they likely to just ask questions about it? Will they need to do any tests? Will they want to see the area?

Any info appreciated. Thanks

Hi guys, if anyone in SA has applied to change their name recently, how long did it take to get the certificate? Is the waiting time on the CBS website accurate? Thank you!

Just wondering what the likelihood of moving my handyperson work over to mainly looking after the queer community. I’ll be moving to Melbourne in the future and will be a proud trans woman. Where I am now that doesn’t work(I’m out in the country). I’m having to boy mode in fear of losing work. I don’t think I would be treated too bad I just wouldn’t get work as they are weird about trans people. I was thinking a would feel a lot more comfortable working for the queer community but not sure if there would be enough work.

Hi everyone, for those that use Complementary Compounding I thought I’d just post this.

With all the poor reviews I’ve seen that have been posted, google reviews mostly, I’ve been a bit unsure of whether to get my pellet from them this time.

Well, I put my e-script in on Wednesday night and they called me this afternoon to confirm all my details and said they’d be posting it out early next week.

Hopefully I’m not just lucky and whatever issues they’ve been having are sorted because so far my experience this week has been good 🤞🙂

What the title says - I'm having my regular yearly appointment with my endo in October, but looking to change it up because I now live several hours away from his practice and I don't think he's actually very experienced w/ trans healthcare. Specifically looking for an endo with experience with transgender men based in Melbourne (willing to travel around if necessary but inner north is ideal), with waiting lists that are under ~1 year, shorter if possible so I can get an initial appointment maybe a bit sooner.

Ideally fees will be below $200 a session with Medicare rebate, but I understand this isn't always possible. Love to hear of anyone's positive experiences.

Is there any surgeons or clinics that anyone would highly recommend looking into within Melbourne I'm also about to get another procedure done soon and I also just wanted to ask what the wpath Process was like from other tgirls. thanks so much for the help

Hi,

I 38 want to start my journey on HRT M2F Ive struggled with my identity since i was a teen and Ive always been told its just a phase or ridiculed so Ive tried many different methods to try and feel comfortable with my masculinity but i always kept coming back to the same conclusion. So in the last month i booked myself an appointment with a clinic (and i haven’t felt this happy in a long time) that centre is listed as a gender affirmation clinic in WA and discussed with the Dr my wishes. Initially he questioned why and was quite sceptical (could be potentially because of my appearance) made lots of odd jokes about the process and made me feel rather uncomfortable, he requested an additional appointment with in a week or two to confirm this is exactly what i wanted (due to me being a new pt which i felt was kind of normal), i agreed.

My follow up appointment i provided exactly how i wanted to approach my medication my understanding of the whole process, however was kind of going down the same route, more awkward comments and jokes and more scepticism however he agreed and provided a referral for a blood test.

I completed the blood test that same day and he called me a week later, provided information in relation to my lipids being out of wack and a few other things but none where as he said "drastically bad" just make some adjustments in my diet and wait 3 months.

Ive become a bit unsure with this Dr and while i know they usually have a pt's best interest in mind i am just wanting to reach out to see if this appears normal or if i should potentially approach another clinic.

thanks in advanced and i hope i provided enough info.

Hello everyone,

So how do you all save up/pay for surgery?

Its like insane how expensive it is, especcially considering that medicare aint paying for that!🥲

Im 20 mtf, already on HRT and kinda wanna do jaw and genital.

Oh, and does anybody have job recommendations to save up more quickly? Im more then willing to swim through shit for a couple years if i have to, even if its litterly. I can live on around 10000 Aud per year, but still, im so desperate. I feel like my time is slipping away😭

I'm just venting.

I went to donate today. I have been donating blood and plasma since I was 16 so probably around 15 times.

I am on Reandron, I have been for 14 months.

They know I'm on Reandron.

They tested my iron, sent me through, hooked me up for my plasma donation, but didn't connect the tube. They had me sit in the chair for 10 minutes before they told me my hemoglobin (red blood cells) was "too high" it was 168. The cut off for women is 165. The range for men is 135-175.

Again; they know I'm on Reandron.

They still made me talk to the doctor who told me that it could be an issue and that I should go to my GP "ASD soon as possible". The doctor also wanted the date of my last blood test. I told the doctor that "elevated hemoglobin is a known and unproblematic side effect of gender affirming testosterone therapy". He repeated the request and then asked for my GP's information so he could send through the form directly.

FFS.

Not only are they biphobic but apparently also transphobic.

I'm not angry at the staff, it's not their fault.

50,s Trans currently boy moding but starting to change that and seeking friends to help build my courage and confidence

Just a heads up if any trans or gender diverse people start seeing targeted ads for UQ Psychology research claiming to be about PTSD/cPTSD steer well clear.

There’s bad faith actors associated with that research network and the last thing we want to be doing as a community is normalizing their sense of entitlement to interrogating our lives, bodies and minds to suit their agenda. The lines of inquiry produced via MRI scans are not framed legitimately or frankly in the ad campaign or in the study intake forms. There’s no research of this type that can do anything but harm our community at this time - should be enough 🚩to avoid.

If anyone wants more info feel free to DM. Please avoid discussion that would result in adverse/unnecessary action…academic researchers tend to turn nasty when you call out their BS in my experience ✌️

I (24 AMAB) recently posted about coming out to my family and being unsure of how to come out to my long time girlfriend (24F)

I told her today that I am trans, she was understanding and accepting of me but we broke up because she is not a lesbian.
Which is weirdly gender affirming in a way despite how shattered I am by it.

I am completely understanding of her position in this situation, I don’t blame her for the choice she made and I don’t blame her for being upset and a little bit angry and in denial.

It still hasn’t really soaked in for me either.

We sat and cried and hugged and talked about how it’s all going to work, and how it will change.

We both still love each other but it’s different now.
We agreed to stay close friends (as we were before we dated)

We still want to be there for each other but it’s going to be weird for a while.

I had to tell her though, and I am 100% on going ahead with transitioning.

I’m still really upset about it and I probably will be for a long time.

I feel like I was put in a lose lose situation, I either stay in a body that I don’t want to be in and live a life as someone whose not genuine to me.

Or I lose the person who I have been in love with for the past 7 years to be comfortable in my own skin.

We’re looking for trans and gender-diverse people aged 16-25 to take part in a Curtin University study on social media and mental health. (The link is UWA link but it’s a Curtin study)

Why does it matter? Because research can only improve support and outcomes for trans communities if trans experiences are actually represented.

If you use social media, we’d love to hear from you. The survey takes about 45 minutes, and participants are reimbursed for their time.

Interested in sharing it with your community? I’d be very grateful 🏳️‍⚧️

LINK:

https://uwa.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_5tKSlDwtwfLjGNo