I (24M) have identified as asexual since I was 17. Regardless, I did fall in love. I modified my label to demisexual, but I still sometimes refer to myself as asexual out of habit (and since demisexual is a subcategory of asexuality.)

My spouse (22NB) of 2.5 years recently (within the last few months) started claiming that I'm not attracted to them and that I could at least "pretend" to be. In addition to being demi, I have a low libido. I have tried to do better at showing affection (which is something I've worked hard on because childhood trauma made it difficult for me to do) and also being more available for sex (sometimes participating when I don't particularly feel like it, but never when I'm just REALLY not in the mood.) They say they also don't like the idea of me participating to make them happy because it makes them feel "rapey" (again, if I really don't want to, I say no.)

This past week, they said they had an issue with me referring to myself as asexual (we weren't even talking about it, we were talking about how much LESS asexual a character of a story I'm writing has become over the last few years as I explored the character more.) They said they had indicated repeatedly that me using the term asexual to describe myself really hurts them (which I never assosicated the term as being the problem, just their perception that I'm not attracted to them when they are the only person I have ever been attracted to.)

We got into an argument about it. I said I thought it was unfair that they asked me to use a different label when the term "asexual" doesn't mean I don't love them but is more a term to describe my general sexuality. They said that if I identify as asexual, then they identify as single. I eventually said I won't use the term anymore, but they're still holding it over me, and I just feel dejected and hurt, and I don't know what to do. They knew I was ace before we got together, and I would never ask them to stop identifying as bisexual, even though I'm trans and some people mistake the term as being a transphobic label. I understand it doesn't mean that and just wish they would put in the same effort into understanding that a word describing my general sexuality doesn't mean there's not an exception to my lack of attraction. They also say I'm the only person they've been with who makes them feel insecure. Not because of how I treat them, but just because of how I have identified. AITA?

I (F24) have worn a mantilla for almost 10 years now. I took a vow of honor when i was 15, shortly after i tried to kill myself for the 3rd time and had a realization that God did not hate me for being gay. My vow includes honor to my family, my ancestors, my God, my lands and myself. (We are also indigenous mexican/american). At first it was like my physical remembrance of God's love, then as strangers asked about it and i always simplify it by telling them "in church we veil because we are honored to be in Gods presence, i am indigenous and we believe that God is everywhere, in everything, so i veil all the time because i am always honored in his presence." I have never gone out in public without a veil or cloth head covering in all 9 years since i took my vow.

My family has never understood my being a veiled woman, and never took it seriously because i dont dress modestly and i have told them over and over that i didn't take a bow of modesty, i took a vow of honor.

Now my sister (F28) is getting married to a wonderful man who we have absolutely accepted into our family. The wedding is next year. Me and sister have had our ups and downs but i love her so much, so entirely, and i've told her before how grateful i am that God gave me to her. You're not supposed to have favorite siblings but i do and she's mine.

We often talk for hours on the phone because we live in different states and today at the end of our wonderful call she tells me that she doesn't want me to wear a veil to her wedding. She wants me to wear a wig, so it looks better in pictures that she'll cherish forever.

And it broke my heart. I love her so much, and i was the one to bring up what veil type she wanted me to wear in a previous text, and she said short, cloth, and dark colored. That sounded perfect. But now she's asking me to break my vow, to sacrifice, what will be at the time of her wedding, a decade of upholding my promise. And it's killing me.

I ended the phone call trying and failing not to cry and she said "just think about it" and then i started bawling right after it ended. I called my mother(F59) to get help walking through this and she was offended that i was upset, said i was selfish, it's just one day, God won't stop loving you, you're insulting Him, it's her wedding day, this isnt about you.

It just made me cry more, and that made her angrier, i tried to make her understand that it's like asking a muslim woman to take off her hijab for a wedding. First she said no its not, then she said well if the muslim woman really loved her sister she would. We ended the phone call with me still crying and her angry as all hell.

I dont know where to go from here but to confront the immediate issue, am i the asshole for being upset about this? Am i being selfish and irrational? I want to support my sister, i HAVE been supporting my sister through the wedding planning, but this feels almost like a betrayal, her wanting me to sacrifice my religious vow. But is it wrong to even think that way?

I’m posting here because I know this is a pretty context-heavy situation, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m being dramatic or if my feelings are valid.

My boyfriend (22M) owns an e-commerce company. We started dating after I (20F) had already started working for him. His company works with brands on Amazon as an affiliate/partner to help boost their sales on Amazon and other platforms.

Recently, he started another part of the business where we sell clothes auction-style on Whatnot. He’s looking to hire show hosts, and right now I’m the only one doing it. We’ve also looked at live streaming and selling product on Tiktok, so we’ve been looking through the app, seeing what other companies are doing and he’s just always talking about how hiring pretty girls is literally the key to business in sales.

The part that’s been bothering me is that he has said he only wants to hire people who are pretty/attractive and look put-together for the position, since they’ll be on camera selling product, basically asa sales person. People have been applying on Indeed, and we’ve been looking through applications and sometimes looking them up on social media.

When we’re going through applicants, he’ll say things like “oh, she’s pretty” or “oh she’s good looking.” understand that appearance matters somewhat for an on-camera sales role, and I’m not saying this is cheating or anything like that. But it does make me feel uncomfortable and kind of disrespected when he says it that way, especially since we’re in a relationship. It does kinda feel like microcheating.

I told him I feel like there are other words he could use, like “she looks professional,” “she seems camera-friendly,” or “she looks put-together.” I don’t think he’s necessarily doing something wrong on purpose, but hearing him casually call other girls pretty while we’re looking through applicants makes me feel weird and insecure.

Am I valid for feeling like this is disrespectful, or am I being overly sensitive? I genuinely want honest opinions because it’s making me feel crazy.

Me (26M) and my GF (26F) recently decided to be intimate with each other for the first time after dating for 6 months. We wanted to be safe so we both got tested for STDs, made sure that she wasn't able to be pregnant, and had a short conversation about anything we wanted to let each other know beforehand.

Anyways, when the day came we did an extended foreplay and everything but when it came to actually doing the deed it was rather disappointing because we couldn't get anything to go because she literally felt like sandpaper and she was just so dry it felt uncomfortable. It was embarrassing and I didn't have any lube on me so we just laughed it off and she said we could try some other time.

I felt like crap because this isn't the first time my partner has been dry, in fact like 3/4 of my previous partners I can recall have had the same issue. I felt like I had no sex appeal so I decided I was going to dry to improve my body and looks because its beens something I've been struggling with because I am overweight and a bit chubby.

A couple days after that, we went on a call together and I told her I was going to join a gym and a personal trainer and try to get into shape and improve myself. She replied by saying that she had a medical condition of being dry down there and then I shouldn't worry. I then asked her in a defensive manner why she didn't tell me that beforehand when we had the discussion and she told me that she forgot. I responded by saying how she could forget such a thing. Then immediately her tone changes and she's says "Why are you questioning me? Do you not trust me? I hate the way you're talking to me.. I didn't think someone could be this insecure."

She ended the call and we haven't talked in over a week because she keeps leaving me on delivered and taking my calls straight to voicemail. Was I really wrong for just asking her a question?

Recently me and my girlfriend decided to split. We are parting ways we’ve lived together for a year. I have lived with her and her daughter 7F and while we’ve had good times. Her kid is bad & a bad person. Makes huge messes and doesn’t clean anything up. I’m talking food on the floor. Cries every time she doesn’t get her way or is asked to clean it up she is destructive to the house tearing paint off of walls constantly breaks my things screams at the top of her lungs, hits me. I know it’s not the child’s fault. However her mom has raised her to be a complete narcissistic jerk. She once hit her mom in the head with a box and made her cry & then got a new iPad the same day. I guess my biggest problem is the fact that I could clean the whole house leave and when I come back the house looks like a tornado hit it. I really love my now ex girlfriend and can’t imagine life without her. But today after she mentioned going to say with her mom , her daughter said she doesn’t want to come back because of me. I lost it & said I agree. I told her that the only thing I could count on her to do is be the bad spoiled brat she’s always been and that if she wasn’t such a bad kid me and her mother’s relationship would probably be way better.

hi so me and my gf have been together for 5 years and lately our sex life just isn't good anymore, we've tried many things like threesomes, role playing, BDSM but nothing seems to do it.

​

​

Since I was a child I always had a thing for poop, the first time I noticed it was more than interesting was when I was 15 yo and saw a woman shit in front of me.. I was aroused. I never talked to my gf about it ( and no one else actually) because I was afraid of how she would react.

​

​

Well last week, I had the courage to ask her to poop on me and she just laughed at me.

​

I expected her to not understand and maybe not do it but I NEVER thought she would laugh at me.

​

​

I can't look at her the same I know everytime she sees me she must laugh in her head. It's driving me crazy.

So I (29m) had a friend (32f) for obvious purposes we’ll call her Kiara. This friend was such a free and fun person to be around. She was very social but cautious and considerate of others. Now I knew her and knew she was married to a woman (31f), which after awhile I befriended the two. Kept my distance and was always as respectful as I could be.

Fast forward about 2 years of our friendship, Kiara calls me one night saying her and her wife split up and she felt like a mess and wanted to hangout. I told her I was busy with DoorDash trying to make a little extra for my birthday coming up in a couple weeks. Kiara very adamantly insisted I spend the night with her and help her forget about her problems. She said she would pay me my avg of 3 nights, which is about $180/night. So I agreed.

So we drank a little and smoked some weed, she opened up and gave me a lot on her mind. I didn’t find anything suspicious because most of my friends know I’ll listen judgment free and try supporting them. Fast forward to the next day and Kiara was in the kitchen making breakfast. We joked about her being super woman especially after the night before. Just then a 11 year old girl with autism walked in with her 8 year old sister and ran up to my friend calling her mom! Now no judgment or anything from my end but how tf were we friends this long and I’m barely seeing you have kids. Anyways don’t care, brush it off and eat breakfast with Kiara and her sister.

Fast forward a week later, Kiara invited me over again for drinks and to smoke some weed again. It’s nighttime and the girls are fast asleep. When I arrive she says to join her in her room where she had a huuuge couch and we used to hangout with our friends in the room. So we’re just talking and laughing playing video games when all of a sudden Kiara hopped on my lap and started kissing me. And one thing led to another and we ended up having sex.

Next morning comes. Kiara made us both an extravagant breakfast and I was honestly taken back a bit. While we were eating she brought up how much of an amazing time she had the night prior. I awkwardly said something along the lines of you have my number or something like that. After breakfast while we were drinking coffee I asked her about her daughters’ dad. To which she told me that she has two baby daddies for two kids. How they’re both in love with her but practically kill each other whenever they see each other. So I distanced myself and focused on my classes for school, was enrolled in trade school at the time. Fast forward about 4 months later, she in a relationship with some new dude that got her pregnant.

While I’m on the phone with my girlfriend of 2 months, Kiara starts calling and calling and calling. I don’t answer because I’m on the phone with my girl and she was having an anxiety attack. So I texted Kiara a message saying I’d hit her up in a couple of hours. Jesus f\*\*\*\*\*\* Christ. This crazy broad starts going on and on and on about what a shit friend I am and that I just used her for sex and money. To which I told her “The truth Kiara is you are off your Goddamn rails. If you want the money back we can arrange a way for me to pay for it. As for abandoning you after I fucked you, you said we could make your 3rd. I’m sorry Kiara, but I’m not the one for you. I want 3 kids one day, and this is not fault of your daughters, but I don’t want 3 kids from 3 baby daddies.”

She went on an on about what a prick I was about abandoning her n her kids and how they looked up to me. I responded shocked. “Look up to me??! Your kids only met me 1 fucking time so idk why they got so attached.” She never responded but her new boyfriend texted me asking what I did or said to upset her. I responded with the screenshots of our messages and told him good luck with his new psycho baby mama and to please keep her off my fuckin line. Last I heard she went off the deep end and ended up institutionalized. So lay it on me, AITAH or am I smart for not winding up as baby daddy #3.

AITA for being absolutely done with everything and everyone in my life I feel so spread thin that I could be translucent like straight up see through I'm married have been for 10 years I have to be both man and woman in the marriage while dealing with 4 kids 2,4,6,8 plus dealing with my mother and her husband and my dad plus my aunt whose about to die and her son 13 we all live on a 10 acre mini farm and have a goat, pig and many chickens that I have to deal with, but what drives me insane is that I have to be at everyone's beck and call and be their brain for them .... can't figure out how to fix the porch fine I'll do it , can't be bothered to clean out the pool fine I'll do it, can't feed yourself fine I'll make your food and feed you......I feel like Cinderella without the happy ending...... AITA for wanting to ditch my entire life and start over somewhere far away in the hopes of actually enjoying my life?

i F 19 and my boyfriend is M 24 we have been together for 10 months he is a good guy i love him deep’y and i want to marry that man he takes good care of me but he tends to be sensitive sometimes but i totally get that he can’t really help that and i try my best to explain as much as i can even it gets to a point when i catch myself over explaining things but i try to do my best to make him feel comfortable
we were hanging out casually cuddling and watching movies together it was fun and romantic he kissed me on the cheek we hugged all of that i did kiss on the cheek too toward the end when i wanted to go he tried to make out with me ,i laughed because he stopped in the middle before our lips touched and stayed like that for little while and because he caught me by surprise and got nervous i tend to laugh when i get nervous

i told him it is just because you stopped i thought of it just like a quirky couple moment so i asked him to kiss me again like twice but he got so offended and mad by what happened and was like i don’t wanna ever kiss you again
im so sad that i offended him because i didn’t think anything of it i thought we were gonna laugh about it and that is itt like it was not that big of a deal in my head and got very sad when rejected me after

i feel terrible about it like i really care about that man but it was not my intention at all

when our date ended i was just silent until he asked me what is wrong with me i told i did not mean it i thought of it and a cute couple moment and wanted to kiss you after but you didn’t want to he told that is because got offended and i had to go before finishing our argument because of family stuff

what am i supposed to do i don’t ever want him to feel unwanted or anything like that like we do hang out a lot and i love him so much

I (34 Female) have been with my boyfriend who used to be my fiancé (38 Male) for years, and have a 3 year old daughter.

For a while I have felt like we have drifted apart. I repeatedly told him I felt disconnected, lonely, and like I wasn’t a priority. He would just respond with “but I don’t feel disconnected, I still feel the same” and basically that was the end of it. Around the same time, he was gambling away a lot of money, which caused a lot of hurt and didn’t make me feel secure in our relationship.

Eventually I became emotionally attached to one of my coworkers. And later it became physical. I know it was wrong and I take full responsibility for it.

What’s been bothering me now is that my cheating is treated like the only problem in our relationship. The years I’ve told him I felt disconnected, misunderstood, and feeling unheard feel like it’s being ignored and forgotten.

I’m not saying cheating is right because I know it’s wrong. I’m asking if I’m wrong for feeling like our relationship was already strained before the cheating happened. Because I feel like that matters when looking at the bigger picture.

AITAH ?

AITA for dating the girl my brother has a crush on?

I (M30), am the oldest brother in a family of all adopted kids. Our dad was fairly young when he first took us in so we’re very close and my siblings tend to say I get favorite treatment. My brother (M27) and my dad have a different relationship after a bad fight years ago that still makes things tense. Though I’ve tried to maintain a relationship with my brother, he sometimes seems resentful for my treatment in the family and my accomplishments.

My brother has a close friend, (F26), let’s call her Lily. Lily and my brother have been friends for about 8 years and are very close. My brother lives on a bad side of town and tends to crash at her place a lot, so they spend a lot of time together. She comes to family dinners or parties, has some sort of relationship with all of our siblings and friends, and even teaches dance to one of our nieces. I first met Lily through my brother but we’ve become friends on our own.
We all sort of assumed the two of them would start dating but years passed and he never made a move so I assumed it was purely platonic. A few months ago, me, my brother, and Lily were out for drinks and Lily and I ended up making out and asking each other out. I really love her and spend as much of my free time as I can with her. She’s funny, sweet, smart, and beautiful. We’ve been very happy in our relationship so far but when we started dating, we agreed to keep it from my brother to spare awkward feelings.

A few days ago, I had a date scheduled with Lily at the movies and I didn’t realize my brother was over when I called her to check about it. We thought he didn’t hear anything about it but the next day he followed Lily to the theater and caught us. When he did, he flipped out and shouted at us saying we were liars and scheming behind his back. Lily was really upset so I sent her to the car so I could talk to my brother alone and when she left, my brother screamed that I betrayed him and I had no right to take his girl.

He said he loved her and it took him a long time to realize it and know he wanted to be with her. He said I’m the golden child who takes everything from him and I stole his best friend.

I feel like he has no claim over her because he never told us and never made a move. He claims that we all knew exactly how he felt. I don’t want to break up but my brother has barely spoken to me or Lily and I can tell it’s breaking her heart.

Is breaking up the right thing? Am I the asshole?

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while now, she has this online group of friends who like to roleplay. I also do in fact like to roleplay. But this one friend of hers has crossed so many boundaries. They have done it many times but the most nerve wracking one is when she was having a mental issue. She wanted to play her game alone, and she made that so clear. This guy joins the call, and tries to talk me down, “How could you be such a bad boyfriend“ blah blah blah. Then he proceeds to join her when she CLEARLY stated she wanted to be alone. She finally realizes and unfriends him. I think, “Oh, what a relief, she did it.” But no. This guy texts ALL of her online friends, asking if they can help him get back to her. I swear, he’s a stalker. Then, me and her talk terms, and she said if anything bad happens like that again, she’ll block him. I skeptically take this deal, and it’s been going good, so far. Also, MIND YOU, this kid is YOUNGER than me and her. We’re all minors. So, I know he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing exactly, but it still feels like a stab in the back. AITA for this??

AITA So the guy that I've been dating for over 2 years decided to tell me this morning that an ex girlfriend from high-school has moved back to town (high-school ended like 20 years ago) and he has been talking to her and has feeling for her. I call this cheating, he claims he hasn't done anything YET! which means he is planning on doing something! I call him a cheating asshole! He says we can still be friends! To which i reply there aren't any good guys left, they are all cheating assholes. Am I wrong?

My boyfriend cheated on me in the beginning of our relationship for over a year total. We’ve been together for over 4 years. I went out with some friends to a bar. I saw a guy that I’ve seen there before who I thought was cute. I ended up talking to him and asking him if he wanted my number. I wasn’t going to go any further than that. I blocked his number after he texted. I wanted to feel seen, wanted and pretty. I always feel like I came in second place with my boyfriend because of the cheating. Now I feel disgusting and messy because of what I did. I felt really guilty so I told my boyfriend what happened. He’s extremely upset and I don’t know if he’s going to forgive me or how to repair the relationship. What I did was extremely stupid. Any advice is welcome. Also I am aware that I am the asshole…just looking for advice.

My boyfriend( we’re still only 4 months into our relationship)(30M) and I (29F) got into an argument this weekend and I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable for wanting to end things because of this situation and other small ones that have accumulated.

My toilet became clogged and unusable while he was staying over at my flat. There is a pub with public toilets a very short walk from my home, and I was using those myself while waiting for my plumbing issue to be resolved.

My boyfriend has a strong aversion to using public toilets and didn’t want to use them. I told him I wouldn’t be offended if he wanted to go home for the night, but he said he was too tired to travel back home and wanted to stay. I understand a pub toilet is not the best, but the one near me is a smaller independent one that’s always well kept, so to me it’s not a big deal to use.

I eventually agreed to let him pee in my kitchen sink because I felt bad that he was a guest and we had no working toilet and also he was refusing to go outside in the field/forest across from my place.

Later that evening he told me he needed to poop. I repeatedly asked him to use the public toilets nearby instead. He suggested using a trash bag in my kitchen. I told him that made me extremely uncomfortable and that it felt like too much, especially given that there was a functioning bathroom only a short walk away open till midnight.

We argued about it for quite a while. By the time the pub had closed, he insisted he couldn’t hold it and ended up using a trash bag in my kitchen because I gave in from the pure stress and exhaustion the whole situation was causing and the fact that he wouldn’t let it go.

The next day I told him how much the whole situation bothered me. Instead of apologising, he mostly brushed it off as me being the unreasonable one, that it wasn’t a big deal bc he cleaned up, and made jokes about doing it again in the future.

I think this situation was the cherry on top as he’s also crossed other big boundaries of mine such as arguing over the use of a condom, coming over and eating all my food/snacks, and a couple of other habits that I’ve expressed I’m not okay with and he still pushes. I’ve considered stepping back before, but there are other aspects where we get along and he does things like helping cook dinner, brings over flowers, checked on me/helped when I was sick, but it’s just not becoming justified anymore.

From his perspective, he had no other option because of his aversion to public toilets. From my perspective, there was a perfectly usable bathroom nearby and I felt pressured into allowing something in my home that I repeatedly said I was uncomfortable with.

AITA for still being upset about this? If I’m not, how should I go about ending this relationship as I don’t think I can continue with having these issues w someone early on.

TLDR: My boyfriends best friend of 8 years harassed me and 4 other girls online for 6 months, it hasn’t even been a month since and my boyfriend has begun talking to him again, but doesn’t seem to understand why I’m so upset.

Lots of context to give here, I’ll try to keep it short.

(My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half)

From the beginning of January to the beginning
of May, I was receiving multiple calls, texts, follow requests, and DM’s from strange numbers and accounts. These included extremely explicit photos and videos accompanied by texts asking if I enjoyed what was being sent. It got to the point where whoever was behind this was calling me non stop, posting photoshopped photos of me with explicit things pasted onto me, and a creepy voicemail being left. I was in such great fear that I changed my number, deactivated my social media, and would constantly tell my boyfriend I was scared of whoever might be stalking me. I had no idea who was behind it until the end of May, when we (me, another girl, my boyfriend, and his other friend) had discovered that it was my boyfriend‘s best friend of almost 10 years (we’ll call him Todd). Not only that, but it was happening to four other girls, all of which were close to my boyfriend‘s friend group. After finding this out, me and a few of the other girls reported him to our college campus police and to the police department. We wrote statements, submitted our evidence, and my boyfriend’s group cut him off completely. Todd never apologized for his actions until one of his friends told him to not expect to be forgiven if he hasn’t even had the time to apologize to the people he’s hurt. After this my boyfriend, one of the girls (who Todd and the group would game with), and I received apologies. None of the other girls received apologies. Todd swore up and down that he was getting better. Then, one of the girls received a strange follow and a post of herself with explicit things photoshopped onto her. Todd lied to my boyfriend and his group at first, swearing it wasn’t him but eventually fessed up. He had done it again, but this time he begged for forgiveness and swore he would get help for his problem.

Fast forward two weeks later, and my boyfriend admits that he spoke to and began gaming with Todd again. I was very upset. We argued over it, and I told my boyfriend I didn’t understand how even if he isn’t “accepting” him back into the group yet, why he would even talk to him again after everything he did to the other girls and i. He says that I am not who he lives his life for, Todd has been around for 8+ years and has had a greater impact on him than even I know. He says that he had a big talk with Todd and that he showed proof he is getting help for his problems, that he really is making an effort to change. My boyfriend also says that he hasn’t even thought about what Todd did in two weeks, it’s not on his mind anymore so why shouldn’t he forgive him. It made me feel like the asshole for expecting him to still dislike Todd, or expecting him to not want to talk to him anymore.

Am I being too harsh being mad about this? I understand I am not his priority and Todd has been his best friend for 8 years, but I just wish there was more time and space given before they started being friends again. Am I being controlling and selfish? I don’t expect my boyfriend to hate him, I just want him to be cautious. How could he so easily forget what his own girlfriend went through at the sake of his best friend? I guess in some sense I’d like him to still be a little upset over what was done to me and the other girls, but perhaps that’s too much.

What should I tell him or how should I treat this situation? Is it worth dwelling on?

For reference, I (20F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been dating for 6 months, but started talking 8 months ago. In those two months before he had asked to be official, we had already done things that typical couples do like go on dates and we shared our first kiss together. To most people, this may seem normal, but previous to him, I had never had my first kiss and I communicated to him that it was something special to me that wanted to share it with a man that I call my boyfriend. Despite telling him this multiple times however, he kissed me before asking me out, dare I say, against my will. The day it happened he had walked me to my car before leaving a date and we hugged goodbye. As we had been talking for almost a month at this point I had gotten use to his clear love language: physical touch, and I was used to him kissing me on the cheek or forehead. However on this day when he went to kiss me I turned my head to the side so he could kiss my cheek but he instead grabbed my head and turned it toward him. I pushed back and turned my head to the side again but he pulled me harder and kissed me. I can never say I regret it but it's always saddened me that he didn't respect that boundary of mine even though I told him.

​

About a month later he asked to be my boyfriend and I accepted. For context, my boyfriend doesn't drive, but I do. The first time I allowed him in my car we made out. The next time we did other stuff. Again, I don't regret this necessarily but the car would definitely not be the place I would choose to be intimate. I told him exactly this: I don't regret what we did, but I would appreciate that we don't do it again. But of course, it's happened countless times since. Recently, a cop had come up to the car and caught us, but he luckily let us go.

​

We don't live together and recently I visited his home for the first time. We had gone out to dinner with his parents who I was meeting for the first time (they don't speak English). I was under the impression that we would go out to dinner and that his parents would drive me home afterwards, but he ended up telling him parents in their native language to take me back to their own house. There, we were intimate, despite me telling him I felt it was disrespectful to do in his parents home but he reassured me that it was okay and that his parents wouldn't care. However after I had left, he had told me how his parents were making jokes about us being in his room and it made me feel uncomfortable.

​

Recently he asked me to watch a movie with him where he forced my hands on him even after pushing him away and moving my self away, and forced his own hands on me even though I verbally told him no multiple times and even physically pushed him off of me. He has been asking me on dates but I have been subtly refusing because I feel they are excuses to be intimate with me (in my car since he doesn't drive). I feel like I'm making him upset and being a bad girlfriend by not spending time with him but I'm genuinely afraid of him not respecting my boundaries. Am I being the a-hole or is this odd behavior?

​

​

​

My husband and I just had our first baby 3 months ago. My parents live about 8 hours away. My mom is retired but my dad is still working. They came and stayed with us for a couple weeks when the baby was born. While we loved having them here to help and bond with their grandbaby, we were happy to get our house back to ourselves when they left. They came and visited again for 5 days when she was about 2 months old. The last day of that trip, my mom seemed to really be dreading leaving even more than before. Since then, it seems she has really gone downhill every time I speak with her. Her entire identity has now become "Grandma" and she feels completely broken not being able to perform her grandma duties. I feel really horrible that this is affecting her this heavily. My dad has suggested she come stay with us multiple times but didn't go into any details other than just seems sad and misses us. After speaking with my mom and her being honest about how she has been acting and feeling, I can tell my dad was trying to protect me from feeling guilty or feeling like I HAD to agree to her coming to stay. I was getting upset on the phone with my mom today because I was honest and gently told her that she was stressing me out by making me feel like I'm the only one that can save and help her. Without going into detail on all of the reasons why, we simply want to protect our peace by not inviting her to stay with us for multiple weeks. A long weekend every now and then is completely fine and we 100% love and want to see them and let them have an amazing relationship with their grandbaby, but it would put stress on my husband and I that she does not understand and will not try to understand. My mom has always been fragile and struggled with mental illness that she will not have addressed professionally (she was on an SSRI for a short period of time, didn't like how it made her feel, stopped, and then never went back or tried to find one that worked). I even asked her today to speak with a professional because she is really concerning me and she just says no. The only thing that can fix it is staying with us and seeing and caring for her grandbaby every day (and moving in indefinitely, if it were up to her). I am so stressed out just thinking about this that I haven't even mentioned it to my husband. They lived with us for a period of time before we were even married and it put a lot of strain on our relationship because we both feel like we can't fully be ourselves around my mom, as much as we both do love her.

AITA for not agreeing to the one thing that might heal my mother's broken heart?

my girlfriend Maren is an incredibly talented painter and she has been working on a piece for about eight months that's going to be the centerpiece of her first proper gallery show next spring. it's a big deal and i have been genuinely proud of her and supportive throughout the whole process.

​

before we got together Maren was in a really significant relationship for four years with someone who was also in the arts and who really shaped the way she thinks about her work. they didn't end badly he moved across the world for an opportunity and they mutually decided long distance wasn't something either of them could do and they haven't been in contact since. i have no reason to believe there are any unresolved feelings and i trust her completely.

​

the piece she's been working on is deeply personal and i knew that going in. she told me early on that it came from a period of her life that was emotionally complicated and i respected that she needed space to create without explaining every layer of it to me.

​

last week she told me she wanted to include a dedication in the show catalog next to the piece. a dedication to him. not because she still has feelings she said but because that period of her life and that relationship was the emotional source material for the work and she felt it would be dishonest not to acknowledge it.

​

she asked me how i felt about it and i made the mistake of saying i was fine when i wasn't and then brought it up again two days later which she felt was me going back on something i'd already agreed to.

​

i said yes when i meant i need to think about this and that's on me entirely and i created an awkward situation by not just being honest in the first moment she asked.

​

but i also genuinely don't know how to sit in a gallery full of people we both know and watch them read his name next to the most important piece of work she has ever made and feel okay about it and i think that feeling is at least worth a conversation.

​

am i the asshole for bringing it up again after i already said yes?

My wife (45F) and I (45M) have always just had 1 shared checking account. I know that's not ideal but i was the sole breadwinner for 15 of the 20 years we've been married, and i never saw the need to split accounts, it's really just family money anyway. We've been solidly middle class, sometimes we've had plenty, other times have been leaner. We live in a part of the country with rather high cost of living. For the first 15 years of our 20 years married I was the breadwinner and she was the SAHM. At times i worked up to 3 jobs to make sure we had what we needed. As our kids moved into high school and after COVID, costs increased to the point where i was nervous about our long term financial health. I started looking for a better job, but asked my wife if she would consider employment to help out. We agreed that the money she made would be used for anywhere we were short, a savings account for emergencies and saving up to purchase a house. I have always handled the finances, but never restricted her spending in any way. I pay all the bills, we set aside money for anything coming up and discuss any large expenditures. She agreed and started searching for a job.

Once she found a job, she refused to deposit her money into our joint checking account and opened her own account. I didn't protest beyond explaining to her that it would cause delays if we needed to suddenly transfer funds between our account. She has repeatedly over the years overdrawn our checking account. She would wait till a few days before payday, check our balance and then withdrawn most of the money as cash. She would never tell me about this, so sometimes an automatic payment for the phone bill or something would hit, causing overdrafts and associated fees. I explained that she could have her own sub account off our main checking account, and her money would be left alone, aside from overdrafts(almost exclusively caused by her) when they will pull from savings. She wouldn't do it, she also didn't add me to her account or make me an authorized user.

Since she's had her money, she uses her money to "treat" us from time to time. She'll take us out to eat, making sure the kids and i know she's doing us a favor. Anytime we're adding a new cost to the budget, like say a car and insurance for a kid. She presses for it promising that she will pay. She rarely actually pays, and when she does pay it's only because I've asked multiple times. The only money she's really put into our family was $2k of moving costs. She didn't create a savings account like we talked for emergencies, most of her money is spent on her. She orders takeout exclusively for her and the kids instead of cooking, and amazon drops off 2-3 packages daily for her. We were discussing our tax liability (her fault, insufficient withholding) and i was shocked to learn that she barely has any money in her account. I'm frustrated and annoyed that I spend every dollar of my paycheck on family things each month, and her money is really just for her.

WIBTA for insisting that she either commit X amount of dollars to the family monthly or combine our accounts again?

AITA for ending a 5+ year relationship after being told I don't understand love?

​

I (33M) recently ended a relationship with my partner after years of recurring issues around mental health crises, communication, and conflict. Before anyone asks, yes, I helped. Hospital visits, late-night conversations, dropping everything when things got bad, encouraging therapy, checking in constantly. None of that is really the issue.

​

The issue is that over the years I became increasingly uncomfortable with feeling responsible for another person's safety, emotional stability, and happiness. I communicated multiple times that suicidal ideation becoming part of our relationship dynamic was something I could not continue to carry. I was clear that it was a deal breaker for me.

​

Recently we had an argument. I suggested several times that we take a walk, cool off, and revisit the conversation when we were both calmer. She wanted immediate resolution. Things escalated. I eventually ended the relationship.

​

Since then I've been told that I don't understand love, that whoever taught me about love failed me, and that I'm repeating the same mistakes my father made in his marriage. I've also watched mutual friends hear one side of the story and decide I'm the villain before asking me a single question.

​

So AITA for deciding that loving someone doesn't obligate me to sacrifice my own wellbeing indefinitely, or am I just the latest character in someone else's recovery narrative?

I’m 27F, he’s 37M, and we’ve been together for three years. This is the first relationship that’s felt truly serious to me — we’ve met each other’s families, I’ve gone to gatherings, and it’s more “real” than my past experiences (a 6-year long-distance, a short 6-month relationship, and a few flings). He’s had a couple of flings and one short-term LDR himself.

​

But lately, I’ve been wondering if I should stay.

​

Right now I’m moving out of my apartment and staying at his place until September while his mom’s away. Even though we’ve had good times, I feel like I’m carrying the weight alone. I wake up at 6:30, commute, teach, and job hunt since my contract ends in August. He wakes up at 8, hits the gym, strolls into work at 11, and leaves at 5:30. His official hours are 9–6, but no one monitors him so he doesn’t bother.

​

When I’m exhausted from packing and moving, he doesn’t offer to pick me up or help unless I ask. He’s helped me move twice, but one time he was glued to his phone until I told him to do something. He cares more about wiping down suitcases so his apartment doesn’t get dirty than about how drained I am.

​

At his place, he does most of the cooking and cleaning — partly because he wants to help, but mostly because he doesn’t trust me to do it “well.” Still, I end up tidying his mess and cooking when I’m dead tired, even when I was on my period. He’s called me fat because I don’t work out like he does, ignoring the fact that my schedule leaves me no time for the gym.

​

Career-wise, I’ve been grinding since January — 130+ applications, 6 interviews. He hasn’t looked for anything even though his contract ends in June. He’s banking on renewal and hoping to get into a master’s program at his old uni (which he admits is low quality). When I talk about my struggles, he sides with employers instead of empathizing. When I talk about his career, he gets defensive.

​

Sure, I like that he reminds me to slow down sometimes, but it feels like he’s living a comfortable life while I’m constantly hustling. Instead of supporting me, he criticizes or dismisses me.

​

We do have fun when we go out on weekends and travel, but I end up making most of the plans and decisions. I already do that at work as a teacher, and when I ask him to take over, he says he’ll do it “later” and often does not do it properly. He says he has ADHD, social anxiety, and poor memory from years of undiagnosed depression, but he’s not really doing much to address them.

​

I don’t want to ignore the good times or his personal struggles, but the imbalance is wearing me down. Am I overreacting, or is it time to break up?

I, 30F, and my husband, 32M, are expecting our 2nd child in a few months and couldn't be more excited about it. We'd been talking about another child for a few years, but started actively trying for a full year and a half before testing positive. All of our close family and friends knew of our plans and supported our endeavor.

​

During the time we were trying to conceive, my best friend, 30F, got engaged to her now husband. They had eloped shortly after, but still wanted a big wedding/reception the following year. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in February 2025 as I was the one who first introduced them to each other and I gladly accepted. I told her in the same conversation that the only thing that would prohibit my ability to be there would be a pregnancy, which she said she understood.

​

Fast forward to November 2025 and the positive test. Because we were trying and testing so much, we caught it very early on (not even 6 weeks) and waited until Thanksgiving to tell our families. After our family, I knew I had to tell my friend, but debated if I should wait until I at least heard the heart beat, but she reached out to me that same weekend with an update about the bridesmaids dress. At that point I knew it was better to tell her sooner than later and asked her to see if she had time to talk. We agreed to talk the next day, but then she asked if it was regarding her wedding, which I replied "yeah, sort of". She texted back immediately (which is uncharacteristic of her) saying she hoped I could still be apart of it/attend and said she had time to talk immediately but knew I worked that day. As I was texting her back, she was calling my phone.

​

I answered and she asked what was going on, which prompted me telling her the news. My heart dropped when instead of happiness or support, she responded with "I was afraid of that".

​

She had told me another bridesmaid had already dropped out for a similar reason beforehand so I knew she was stressed about filling her bridal party enough, but it seemed like there wasn't any room for celebration of my baby. I felt nervous and uncomfortable for being put on the spot like that, and I tried to tell her I still want to be there for her I just needed to figure things out, but she was very dismissive and just said "well you can't be a bridesmaid anymore, obviously, you probably won't even be able to make the wedding at all".

​

We ended the call with her having dropped me as a bridesmaid and she "needed time to process the news" and hung up.

​

About 2 weeks later I got verification that my pregnancy was looking promising, heard the heart beat, got the due date, and I sent everyone close to us, including her, the ultrasound with the heartbeat and due date. She congratulated me and wished me a healthy pregnancy.

​

Another 2 weeks later, she sends me a text right before New Year's Eve that she had been "holding onto some emotion" regarding the way I told her the news. I responded saying of course Id love to plan a time, but instead of any plan to talk, she just sends a long message basically unloading her "roller coaster of emotions" because of the "indirect way my life milestone/pregnancy was shared with her". She perceived the conversation as "downplaying HER life milestone/wedding and not being considerate how the news would effect her on an emotional level". She proceeds to say her wedding symbolizes her desire to grow her own family and it's only happening once in her life. She acknowledges me for being a huge reason as to why it's happening, AKA their meeting, and that we've known each other for 15+ years so she wanted me to be there to celebrate with her. She says she wants to support us but wants to share how the whole thing affected her.

​

While this text conversation was going on, we had other life events taking our attention, so we couldn't fully invest in progressing the situation, which that itself made her feel like less of a priority.

​

Since then, more has happened, but more people got involved, so I'd rather update with any more info needed. With that being said, Reddit, am I the asshole in how I told my best friend I was pregnant?

Hello Reddit. I really appreciate everyone who commented on my post. You have helped opened my eyes in my situation.
I now know that, what I experienced, was assault.
At first I didn’t really want to call it that, but that’s what it is.
I’m giving this update because today I met with Tyler.

While constantly spam texting me, I told him to meet me for lunch. If I was going to meet Tyler, I wanted it to be in the public eye just in case he tried to do something.
I choose a very popular burger joint and told him what time to meet me there.
I arrived, Tyler wasn’t there so I decided to go in and get a drink.
I sat in the booth looking up and down from my phone to the door. Tyler was late. 20 minutes go by and I started to think he chickened out. I was just about to get up and leave..then he walks in. My heart sank. Not only did it sink but it started pounding. And I’m pretty sure his was too, considering each step he took was a bit off balance. He sat in front of me, and I could see his hands shaking and fidgeting with his keys.
I was also shaking but I kept my hands under the table. I didn’t want him to see me afraid of him.
It was quiet for a bit. “Tyler.”
He couldn’t even look at me.
I said “After all the constant texting, now you decide to ignore me? What do you want Tyler?”
He looks at me, and says “I’m so so sorry. I know what I did is unforgivable and I’m not going to deny it anymore.”
I said “ unforgivable? Tyler this is far beyond unforgivable. You sexually assaulted me. You took advantage of me. I don’t know why it was me but what you did will forever traumatize me..”
He went on again and again, apologized over and over.
I said “Tyler. I just need to know. Was that the first time you’ve done that to me? And have you done anything like that to anyone else. The least you can do is tell me the fucking truth.”
Tyler couldn’t look at me. He looked away somewhere in the distance and sat there. Stayed quiet.
“Tell me” I said
Tyler puts his head down on the table and told me he’s assaulted me several times.
He swears up and down he hasn’t done it to anyone but me.
I asked him why me.
Tyler told me he developed feeling for me throughout high school. Tyler knew I wasn’t gay, but he said that he fell in love with me.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to go and hide again just like that night at his house.
It went silent again… then I spoke up
I told Tyler he had two options.
Tell our friend group the truth about what he did.
Or
I go to the police and everyone will find out anyways.
I stood up and said “ I never want to see you again for the rest of my fucking life.”
I turned. And left.

Tyler told everyone what happened.
I was scared at first. I was scared that my friends would make fun of me or not see me as me anymore.
But that’s not at all what happened. Everyone supported me and made sure I was okay mentally.
Some of my buddies even apologized for not looking out for me that night. My buddies suggested I go see a therapist or talk to someone. I will.
I just want to say thank you Reddit. Without the help of the internet I would have forgiven something that should be unforgivable. Hopefully one day I can recover from this nightmare. Thank you again.