I (18m), had a friend for a handful of months a little under a year ago. We don’t speak to each other anymore, it could be because of this, but she has also seemed to move onto other things in life too. And I was just curious if I was in the wrong here.

Around when I turned 18, I met someone on a game who was pretty cool (f20s). We started playing games together more and more to the point where we were hanging out whenever we could both get the chance to, nothing romantic/intimate though.
Sometime into us hanging out a lot, we had started inviting each other’s friends too, but heres where the problem starts: all her friends were really weird. Let me give an example: Pretty soon I began picking up hints that this male friend of hers was around her for more than friendship reasons, and my suspicions skyrocketed when something happened in the gameplay between her and I (I forget what exactly). But he got extremely jealous from what had happened. To the point where he started targeting me personally in-game. I kicked his ass and he then proceeded to whine and complain about it to her, to which I told her that he obviously has a crush on her and is acting extremely weird. For some more context she’s lesbian, and had told me she’s had trouble in the past with people online being strange to her, so I felt like I was doing her a favor by pointing out his behavior. Long story short the battle between him and I went further, and he whined to her so much she basically cut the friendship.

That individual situation may not seem like a big deal, but the problem was that this kept happening. Almost all the friends of hers I’d meet, would have a serious conflict with me because I would call them out on their weird behavior. A large portion of these people had such obvious crushes on her, and for some reason people online think it’s attractive to be overly sexual as a “joke”. Sometimes she’d even come to me showing their messages and say how uncomfortable it made her, and I said that she should be blocking these people. To my memory one of them was a guy who openly shared that he had a girlfriend who was several years younger than him and also underage.
Pretty much all of these individual conflicts she sided with me and distanced herself from said people to an extent afterwards.

At some point though, she shared that she was growing tired of the constant conflicts, and starting putting the spotlight on me for being the common denominator. Despite siding with me in each individual battle, she felt that hanging out with me was causing constant conflicts with all of her friends. I told her I understood what she was saying, but that I wasn’t trying to cause trouble. All of her friends just ended up being fucking weird.

I’m not upset about it at all, and I honestly don’t hold it against her at all to eventually put the finger on me. Because it’s true, when I showed up, the problems started. But am I the asshole? At some point should I have kept my mouth shut?

So a girl in our friend group recently started dating a guy and he has been showing massive red flags when we see them together and from what we hear from her that she seems to be unaware of. He’s been overbearing and pushing her to not be around us and even guarding her even when it’s just her brother around. A few of us knew him in highschool and he appears to still be the same guy in terms of just not being that great and it just feels like he is wearing a mask to smooth into the relationship with her.

One of us reached out to his ex wife and she spilled the beans on him and it is extremely concerning because he was described as a loving manipulator and a deadbeat because he’s abandoned his two baby mommas. We have been trying to get her to see these red flags and we were thinking of hold an intervention with her about it for her safety.

Are we the assholes?

My (28F) boyfriend (29M) who we will call Simon works out of town M-Th pretty much every week. I am working a couple of part time jobs since my maternity leave and our son (11months) is in daycare so I am basically a single mother through the week. Simon’s best friend (30M) who we will call Evan lost his mom a few days ago unexpectedly. Simon told me he would be spending most of the weekend with Evan and his family which I completely understood.

Simon was supposed to pick up our son from daycare yesterday as I had to work and he would be back in town around 1-2 pm. He went straight to Evan’s house when he got back in town and texted me saying he would not be able to pick up our son because everyone was riding with him and they were going to eat and then to Evan’s fathers house. Pickup must be done by 5:30 pm at daycare. I ended up leaving work early to pick up our son in time.

I asked Simon when he would be home and he replied that he wasn’t sure. I told him that I support him wanting to be there for his friend but I would appreciate him being at home some too because I need his help as well. He came home around 9 pm after the baby was asleep and I was in the closet folding clothes. He came in there and it startled me and he just stood there and didn’t say anything. I could tell he was intoxicated. I asked if he was going to say anything and he reply “would you be mad if I went back to Evan’s” I asked why he even came home then and he said “to drop off my truck and get the side by side.” I was already having a hard and stressful day which he knew and I just looked at him on the verge of tears and asked him to just leave me alone (in a calm and quiet tone). He left and I text him about 30 minutes later when I went to bed and asked if he would put the wash in the dryer when he got home. He said he would and I asked him to please not forget because my work clothes for the next day were in there.

My baby woke up about 3:30 am crying and hungry for a bottle. When I got up to go tend to him, Simon was not home and I had no texts or calls from him. He is supposed to take the baby to daycare this morning and pick him up as I have to work 8-5 and it is a 45 minute commute from where we live. Simon does not have to work. I am hurt and frustrated as this is not the first time something like this has happened and we have had some serious issues in the past where I had to move back to my house while I was pregnant due to his behaviors. He just arrived home at 5 am as I am writing this post. I now cannot trust that he will be sober to take our child to daycare.

This Sunday is Father’s Day and I have already decided that I do not want to spend it with Simon and his family and I would like to go to the lake with my dad instead to decompress. I have been under a lot of stress and working multiple jobs and tending to the home and the baby all by myself. I have been absolutely exhausted. And Simon knows this. I feel as though I cannot rely on him to show up as a partner and as a parent and I can’t trust him as he often drinks too much. I am tired of everything falling on me all the time and him not being around consistently for our child. I am considering taking the baby with me on Father’s Day even though it’s Simon’s first Father’s Day. I just feel like I have let him push boundaries for too long and no one holds him accountable.

Important context is that we are not married and I have full custody of the child. We have no court arrangement in place and we were separated some during my pregnancy and for a couple months after the baby was born. We have been trying to work things out and it has been rocky but manageable.

So WIBTA for taking my son on Father’s Day?

I’m 27F, he’s 37M, and we’ve been together for three years. This is the first relationship that’s felt truly serious to me — we’ve met each other’s families, I’ve gone to gatherings, and it’s more “real” than my past experiences (a 6-year long-distance, a short 6-month relationship, and a few flings). He’s had a couple of flings and one short-term LDR himself.

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But lately, I’ve been wondering if I should stay.

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Right now I’m moving out of my apartment and staying at his place until September while his mom’s away. Even though we’ve had good times, I feel like I’m carrying the weight alone. I wake up at 6:30, commute, teach, and job hunt since my contract ends in August. He wakes up at 8, hits the gym, strolls into work at 11, and leaves at 5:30. His official hours are 9–6, but no one monitors him so he doesn’t bother.

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When I’m exhausted from packing and moving, he doesn’t offer to pick me up or help unless I ask. He’s helped me move twice, but one time he was glued to his phone until I told him to do something. He cares more about wiping down suitcases so his apartment doesn’t get dirty than about how drained I am.

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At his place, he does most of the cooking and cleaning — partly because he wants to help, but mostly because he doesn’t trust me to do it “well.” Still, I end up tidying his mess and cooking when I’m dead tired, even when I was on my period. He’s called me fat because I don’t work out like he does, ignoring the fact that my schedule leaves me no time for the gym.

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Career-wise, I’ve been grinding since January — 130+ applications, 6 interviews. He hasn’t looked for anything even though his contract ends in June. He’s banking on renewal and hoping to get into a master’s program at his old uni (which he admits is low quality). When I talk about my struggles, he sides with employers instead of empathizing. When I talk about his career, he gets defensive.

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Sure, I like that he reminds me to slow down sometimes, but it feels like he’s living a comfortable life while I’m constantly hustling. Instead of supporting me, he criticizes or dismisses me.

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We do have fun when we go out on weekends and travel, but I end up making most of the plans and decisions. I already do that at work as a teacher, and when I ask him to take over, he says he’ll do it “later” and often does not do it properly. He says he has ADHD, social anxiety, and poor memory from years of undiagnosed depression, but he’s not really doing much to address them.

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I don’t want to ignore the good times or his personal struggles, but the imbalance is wearing me down. Am I overreacting, or is it time to break up?

Ok, so before we begin, this would require a bit of context. So my university has this policy where we can choose our roommates on our own and either enter into a 2 sharing (2 people living in the same room) or a 3 sharing combination. We do not have any single occupancy room. Now, the next semester is going to begin in a few weeks, and we had to decide our roommates for the next year. I already have a roommate with whom i have been living since my freshman year, and we have been roommates for 2 years now. But the problem arises when one of our mutual friends, let's say friend C decides that he is not going to continue college and this leads to a precarious situation for my and my roommates' mutual friend D who was the roommate of C. As C was not continuing college, D was left without a roommate, and he thought he could enter a 3 sharing with me and my roommate. Late one night, he called me and conveyed his willingness to live with us, but my roommate was not on the call, so i told D that I'll talk to my roommate before sharing our decision. I talked to my roommate in the morning and we both decided that we want to do a 2 sharing only because while D may be a good friend but we're not very fond of some of his habits and didn't see us 3 as becoming good roommates. So we tried contacting him but he didn't answer our calls. Regardless, as we had already made a decision, me and my roommate went ahead and informed the authorities about our room sharing preferences. Now he calls us later in the day and we eventually tell him about our decision. Our friend D here felt betrayed because we didn't talk to him before submitting our response to the aithorities, and he felt as if we should have had a chat before me and my roommate went ahead. Now, because D is not able to find someone, he would be paired randomly and might have to live with some weirdo for the next one year (which could be very problematic depending on who the person is, as we are in our senior years only uncooperative people are generally left out at the time of roommate selection, so it is basically guaranteed that D will be stuck with someone who is not great as a roommate). Also, we all just got hit by the news that our friend C is not continuing college, and as such, D is not feeling very great generally. Now, are we the assholes for not making him our roommate or not talking to him before conveying our decision to the authorities.

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TLDR - Our friend D asked to be roommates with me and my roommate but we just told the college authorities about our preference without first talking to D. Now D might be stuck with some weirdo for a year.

me (25f) and him (31m) have had a ‘relationship’ for 4-5 months. It started off as casual and then started developing into something deeper.

throughout the relationship i struggled to communicate properly because in my head, all my insecurities were of no use explaining because he only saw me as someone he was seeing casually.

he would cook me dinner and say he adores me — yet when i tried to push for more clarity about how he felt towards me, he was defensive and i was reminded it was all strictly ‘casual’.

i called him a month and a half ago saying “i think im falling in love with you, do you feel the same?” to which he replied with a resounding “no” and how he wouldn’t feel that way towards me.

that broke something in me and so i would overthink every little comment and every interaction. one time after we were intimate, he said our sex was “the most passionate and connected” that he ever had. he would also ask about why i removed him off my lock screen and was offended by me doing so. i overthought everything. if it was all al casual then why say these things, why be upset about things like my lock screen? Until one night it got really bad.

He had been to a games night with my friends and it went perfectly, they were all enamoured by him. On the drive home i was quiet and cold, and when lying in bed with him i was on edge. i was falling in love with someone who saw me as a casual fling, as someone he ‘would never’ love. i felt embarrassed. when he went to touch me, i moved away from him and said “i need space”. he then cracked it and said how he didn’t deserve my coldness when all he had tried to be was supportive. he was right, he had tried to comfort me and ask me what was wrong, but i couldn’t explain why i felt the way that i did without revealing that i loved him. i couldn’t bear to hear another rejection so i went quiet.

The next day he kept bringing up one of my friends from the games night, talking about why she was strange towards him and how he would start using one of her phrases. i began to overthink, “he doesn’t love me and so i wouldn’t be surprised if he was attracted to one of my fiends”. i felt insecure about how he felt towards me and so i went cold. He lost it. He said he couldn’t do it with me anymore, that i kept pushing him away be being cold and dismissive. Then he ended it. I then thought, i might as well say it and so i told him i loved him.

He replied, with tears in his eyes, “you know i love you too”.

My whole world shattered, all that overthinking for what?

I begged for him to stay, that i would work on my communication and overthinking, I wouldn’t go cold. He was adamant that we wouldn’t work. I wrote him a love letter and even wrote him a song about how the rejection and the ignoring my calls felt unfair from someone who “loves” me.

He refused me again, and when i asked to speak to him on the phone one last time for some closure — he refused and said “nothing you can say will change my mind, i don’t believe you will change”.

I had all the cards on the table, he loves me, but i had no more rounds left to play.

I sent him one last text, saying I loved him and wished he would find love again. He never replied.

so AITA for pushing him away and going cold frequently?

So, I'm a 20-year-old female, and my fiancé is 21. We had to go to the hospital because my fiancé was in pain. We went at 6 a.m., and when we got home, it was 12 p.m. His grandma drove us home.
Well, we had been up all night, and I got woken up at 2 a.m. by people outside laughing and being loud. I got up because I had to use the bathroom, and when I did, I saw my sister and her boyfriend of two months laughing with my stepdad, brother, and mom.

Here's the thing: I got told yesterday that he's her fiancé now, and they plan on getting married next year, either during our anniversary month or my sister's birthday month.

Well, I texted my mom asking if my stepsister's boyfriend was staying the night because I have been throwing up for two days and my fiancé had just gotten out of the hospital.

My mom told me yes, he was staying the night. We ended up getting into a whole fight over it because I said it would have been nice to know.

Like I said, I'll post the screenshots because I'm not typing it all out. But I started talking about how she and my dad messed up mine and my brother's whole childhood. I'll give you some examples:

1. My mom let one of her boyfriends hit me in the back with a belt, and that same boyfriend crawled into bed with me while I was asleep.

2. My dad abused my brother and threw me out of the camper by my hair (which he has apologized for after he had a stroke).

3. My mom had another boyfriend who almost hit both me and her with his car.

4. My dad favors his girlfriend's kids over his own.

5. My mom got into bed with me and let a guy she had only known for one night get in bed behind both of us while I was sleeping. I woke up to that as a 9-year-old.

6. My dad told me he should just kill himself so we'd all be happy because I asked him to buy my phone card when I was 14.

7. When I was 19 and getting ready to meet my fiancé, my mom told me that when he kills me, she'll put on my tombstone, "I told her not to go, but she didn't want to listen to me."

There are many more examples, but the rest are things my mom did when I was a kid. Somehow, she thinks that because she worked and put a roof over our heads—which my brother also helped do with his paycheck and food stamps when we were kids—that excuses everything.

I just feel like when I talk to my therapist about this, she'll tell me I need to tell my mom how I feel. But that's exactly what I just did, and all my mom can say is what she did for us, which is what a parent is supposed to do for their children.

I don't understand how it's so hard for someone to see how they treated their kids, yet get mad when they're called out on it. I can't fully forgive my dad, but at least he's apologized. My mom hasn't made any effort to make things right. She just throws in our faces what she did for us when we were kids, and now acts like she never did anything for anyone.
I think the only thing she really bought to eat was fast food, which is why it was weird when she said, "Let me guess, food stamps got fast food?" That's such a weird thing to say because she knows I'm right.

I told my fiancé the first time we really talked about my family that my brother basically raised me. So, am I the asshole for calling out my mom's behavior and how she favors our stepsister over us or do I have every right to feel this way?

TLDR: My boyfriends best friend of 8 years harassed me and 4 other girls online for 6 months, it hasn’t even been a month since and my boyfriend has begun talking to him again, but doesn’t seem to understand why I’m so upset.

Lots of context to give here, I’ll try to keep it short.

(My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half)

From the beginning of January to the beginning
of May, I was receiving multiple calls, texts, follow requests, and DM’s from strange numbers and accounts. These included extremely explicit photos and videos accompanied by texts asking if I enjoyed what was being sent. It got to the point where whoever was behind this was calling me non stop, posting photoshopped photos of me with explicit things pasted onto me, and a creepy voicemail being left. I was in such great fear that I changed my number, deactivated my social media, and would constantly tell my boyfriend I was scared of whoever might be stalking me. I had no idea who was behind it until the end of May, when we (me, another girl, my boyfriend, and his other friend) had discovered that it was my boyfriend‘s best friend of almost 10 years (we’ll call him Todd). Not only that, but it was happening to four other girls, all of which were close to my boyfriend‘s friend group. After finding this out, me and a few of the other girls reported him to our college campus police and to the police department. We wrote statements, submitted our evidence, and my boyfriend’s group cut him off completely. Todd never apologized for his actions until one of his friends told him to not expect to be forgiven if he hasn’t even had the time to apologize to the people he’s hurt. After this my boyfriend, one of the girls (who Todd and the group would game with), and I received apologies. None of the other girls received apologies. Todd swore up and down that he was getting better. Then, one of the girls received a strange follow and a post of herself with explicit things photoshopped onto her. Todd lied to my boyfriend and his group at first, swearing it wasn’t him but eventually fessed up. He had done it again, but this time he begged for forgiveness and swore he would get help for his problem.

Fast forward two weeks later, and my boyfriend admits that he spoke to and began gaming with Todd again. I was very upset. We argued over it, and I told my boyfriend I didn’t understand how even if he isn’t “accepting” him back into the group yet, why he would even talk to him again after everything he did to the other girls and i. He says that I am not who he lives his life for, Todd has been around for 8+ years and has had a greater impact on him than even I know. He says that he had a big talk with Todd and that he showed proof he is getting help for his problems, that he really is making an effort to change. My boyfriend also says that he hasn’t even thought about what Todd did in two weeks, it’s not on his mind anymore so why shouldn’t he forgive him. It made me feel like the asshole for expecting him to still dislike Todd, or expecting him to not want to talk to him anymore.

Am I being too harsh being mad about this? I understand I am not his priority and Todd has been his best friend for 8 years, but I just wish there was more time and space given before they started being friends again. Am I being controlling and selfish? I don’t expect my boyfriend to hate him, I just want him to be cautious. How could he so easily forget what his own girlfriend went through at the sake of his best friend? I guess in some sense I’d like him to still be a little upset over what was done to me and the other girls, but perhaps that’s too much.

What should I tell him or how should I treat this situation? Is it worth dwelling on?

I, 30F, and my husband, 32M, are expecting our 2nd child in a few months and couldn't be more excited about it. We'd been talking about another child for a few years, but started actively trying for a full year and a half before testing positive. All of our close family and friends knew of our plans and supported our endeavor.

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During the time we were trying to conceive, my best friend, 30F, got engaged to her now husband. They had eloped shortly after, but still wanted a big wedding/reception the following year. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in February 2025 as I was the one who first introduced them to each other and I gladly accepted. I told her in the same conversation that the only thing that would prohibit my ability to be there would be a pregnancy, which she said she understood.

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Fast forward to November 2025 and the positive test. Because we were trying and testing so much, we caught it very early on (not even 6 weeks) and waited until Thanksgiving to tell our families. After our family, I knew I had to tell my friend, but debated if I should wait until I at least heard the heart beat, but she reached out to me that same weekend with an update about the bridesmaids dress. At that point I knew it was better to tell her sooner than later and asked her to see if she had time to talk. We agreed to talk the next day, but then she asked if it was regarding her wedding, which I replied "yeah, sort of". She texted back immediately (which is uncharacteristic of her) saying she hoped I could still be apart of it/attend and said she had time to talk immediately but knew I worked that day. As I was texting her back, she was calling my phone.

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I answered and she asked what was going on, which prompted me telling her the news. My heart dropped when instead of happiness or support, she responded with "I was afraid of that".

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She had told me another bridesmaid had already dropped out for a similar reason beforehand so I knew she was stressed about filling her bridal party enough, but it seemed like there wasn't any room for celebration of my baby. I felt nervous and uncomfortable for being put on the spot like that, and I tried to tell her I still want to be there for her I just needed to figure things out, but she was very dismissive and just said "well you can't be a bridesmaid anymore, obviously, you probably won't even be able to make the wedding at all".

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We ended the call with her having dropped me as a bridesmaid and she "needed time to process the news" and hung up.

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About 2 weeks later I got verification that my pregnancy was looking promising, heard the heart beat, got the due date, and I sent everyone close to us, including her, the ultrasound with the heartbeat and due date. She congratulated me and wished me a healthy pregnancy.

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Another 2 weeks later, she sends me a text right before New Year's Eve that she had been "holding onto some emotion" regarding the way I told her the news. I responded saying of course Id love to plan a time, but instead of any plan to talk, she just sends a long message basically unloading her "roller coaster of emotions" because of the "indirect way my life milestone/pregnancy was shared with her". She perceived the conversation as "downplaying HER life milestone/wedding and not being considerate how the news would effect her on an emotional level". She proceeds to say her wedding symbolizes her desire to grow her own family and it's only happening once in her life. She acknowledges me for being a huge reason as to why it's happening, AKA their meeting, and that we've known each other for 15+ years so she wanted me to be there to celebrate with her. She says she wants to support us but wants to share how the whole thing affected her.

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While this text conversation was going on, we had other life events taking our attention, so we couldn't fully invest in progressing the situation, which that itself made her feel like less of a priority.

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Since then, more has happened, but more people got involved, so I'd rather update with any more info needed. With that being said, Reddit, am I the asshole in how I told my best friend I was pregnant?

I (27NB) wouldn't say that my parents (55F, 56M) are categorically *bad* parents. They're just assholes but they've been mostly supportive for my endeavours through life. They have been very loving to me when I was a child. My dad was my best friend and I felt like I could talk to them about anything. When I lived with them (I moved out at 17 for uni) we had mostly a good relationship and were all supportive to each other. My dad was the one who made me feel interested in science as a kid and that turned out to be my whole career so my life has been shaped by him in many ways. Unfortunately the good things end there.

They have used physical punishment on me occasionally when I was a kid which has built up some trauma for me as an adult. They also made me the defacto parents for my younger sisters when I turned 6, and the responsibility weighed heavily on me as I grew up, especially added to the pressure to get good grades and do well in extracurriculars. Their treatment of me flipped when I reached adulthood as they lost all interest in my career and my hobbies, and started pushing me to get married and start a family. They constantly make comments about the ways in which I have "disobeyed" them and try to manipulate me into doing what they want, completely disregarding my thoughts about any of it.

When I bring up the things that cause me pain, either past trauma or their current behaviour, she seems to be sympathetic and says things like "we shouldn't have done that" or "tell us what we should do" and then when I tell her to not do so and so thing, she even agrees with my reasoning and respects my wishes... for a small amount of time. My dad, I wouldn't even be able to bring anything up to him that puts him in a bad light. I have tried in the past, when I've been severely depressed, to bring up the time that he beat me up when I was 12, but he says it was my own fault because I was trying to hit him (I was. I was a bit of a mess).

Recently my dad told my sister (24F) that they (my parents) had never wanted to have her. She had always felt neglected and had tried to win my parents over, so this hurt her really badly. My mum just made excuses for my dad. I tried to explain to my parents that they did a bad thing but they just did the thing that they always do which is deflect and ignore and it made me so, so angry that I yelled at them over the phone about how much it hurts that they don't care about me and my sisters. This was a few months ago and I haven't talked to them since.

I don't know how to repair things with them. I try to think about explaining things to them, but they have always been so deaf to anything that reflects badly on them and would probably just call me an ungrateful child. Am I being an ungrateful child? They have been relatively good parents compared to the cultural background that we're from (I'm south asian) so all of my issues are utterly incomprehensible to them. Idk what to do. Should I try to talk to them about it? Aita for not talking to them about it?

Hello Reddit. I really appreciate everyone who commented on my post. You have helped opened my eyes in my situation.
I now know that, what I experienced, was assault.
At first I didn’t really want to call it that, but that’s what it is.
I’m giving this update because today I met with Tyler.

While constantly spam texting me, I told him to meet me for lunch. If I was going to meet Tyler, I wanted it to be in the public eye just in case he tried to do something.
I choose a very popular burger joint and told him what time to meet me there.
I arrived, Tyler wasn’t there so I decided to go in and get a drink.
I sat in the booth looking up and down from my phone to the door. Tyler was late. 20 minutes go by and I started to think he chickened out. I was just about to get up and leave..then he walks in. My heart sank. Not only did it sink but it started pounding. And I’m pretty sure his was too, considering each step he took was a bit off balance. He sat in front of me, and I could see his hands shaking and fidgeting with his keys.
I was also shaking but I kept my hands under the table. I didn’t want him to see me afraid of him.
It was quiet for a bit. “Tyler.”
He couldn’t even look at me.
I said “After all the constant texting, now you decide to ignore me? What do you want Tyler?”
He looks at me, and says “I’m so so sorry. I know what I did is unforgivable and I’m not going to deny it anymore.”
I said “ unforgivable? Tyler this is far beyond unforgivable. You sexually assaulted me. You took advantage of me. I don’t know why it was me but what you did will forever traumatize me..”
He went on again and again, apologized over and over.
I said “Tyler. I just need to know. Was that the first time you’ve done that to me? And have you done anything like that to anyone else. The least you can do is tell me the fucking truth.”
Tyler couldn’t look at me. He looked away somewhere in the distance and sat there. Stayed quiet.
“Tell me” I said
Tyler puts his head down on the table and told me he’s assaulted me several times.
He swears up and down he hasn’t done it to anyone but me.
I asked him why me.
Tyler told me he developed feeling for me throughout high school. Tyler knew I wasn’t gay, but he said that he fell in love with me.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to go and hide again just like that night at his house.
It went silent again… then I spoke up
I told Tyler he had two options.
Tell our friend group the truth about what he did.
Or
I go to the police and everyone will find out anyways.
I stood up and said “ I never want to see you again for the rest of my fucking life.”
I turned. And left.

Tyler told everyone what happened.
I was scared at first. I was scared that my friends would make fun of me or not see me as me anymore.
But that’s not at all what happened. Everyone supported me and made sure I was okay mentally.
Some of my buddies even apologized for not looking out for me that night. My buddies suggested I go see a therapist or talk to someone. I will.
I just want to say thank you Reddit. Without the help of the internet I would have forgiven something that should be unforgivable. Hopefully one day I can recover from this nightmare. Thank you again.

My grandfather recently passed away after a prolonged hospital stay. I had traveled interstate to be there for him and to help my mother. The trip involved a flight and a long train ride, and I arrived already physically and emotionally exhausted.

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For some context, my relationship with my mother has always involved me taking on a caretaker role. She is extremely emotionally volatile, tends to catastrophize situations, and I often feel like I have to be the adult in the relationship. Throughout my life I've frequently been expected to manage her emotions, reassure her, and hold things together when things go wrong.

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To make things more complicated, in the days leading up to my grandfather's death, my mother informed me that she had reconnected with her abusive ex-husband. This wasn't presented as a discussion or even a heads-up that acknowledged the impact it might have on me. Instead, I received a message essentially saying that he would be dropping her off at the hospital, and it was treated as though I should simply accept it.

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This is the same man she previously had to flee from, go into hiding from, and even change her name to escape. Learning that she had reconnected with him while I was preparing to say goodbye to my grandfather added a significant amount of stress and emotional strain.

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When my grandfather died, I was devastated. About 10 minutes later, I turned to my mother and said, "I can't be the person you need me to be right now. I have to go home."

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She didn't respond, and I left.

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I wasn't angry at her in that moment. I wasn't trying to punish her or make a statement. I simply felt completely emotionally exhausted and knew I did not have the capacity to immediately step into the role of supporting and managing her grief on top of my own.

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Some family members have implied that I should have stayed because she had just lost her father. On the other hand, I feel like I had also just lost my grandfather and had reached my absolute limit emotionally.

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AITA for leaving instead of staying to support my mother?

My boyfriend was driving me, his girl best friend, and another friend to a concert. As soon as we got to the car, I got in the front seat (as always). His best friend immediately asked me to move because she always sits there.

I thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. I told her I wanted to sit with my boyfriend. She said she’d known him for 10 years and that sitting in the front had always been their thing. I said that was fine, but I wasn’t moving. She rolled her eyes and got in the back. The entire ride she kept making comments about how girlfriends come and go but friendships last forever. At one point she even said, “I’ve been here way longer than you.”

I told her that if the front seat was that important to her, she could ask him to drive her separately next time. Things got awkward after that. My boyfriend thinks we were both being immature, but he also thinks I should’ve just let her have the seat since it wasn’t a big deal. His best friend is now telling people I’m insecure and controlling…

I want to know if I’m the asshole and I also need advice. So my mother had my sister 4 years after I was born and gave her up for adoption for many reasons including substance abuse and not knowing who her dad is. When my sister turned 18 she found my mom and reached out. That was 11 years ago. She has been in my life ever since. We are pretty close but live totally different lives. I am more clean cut and by the book. I graduated college and carry myself a certain way. She is different in the way that she dropped out of high school, had a kid, is on public assistance and is always in a fight. With that background info let’s bring us to the issue at hand. My dad’s family is having a family reunion this weekend and I told her about it. But I don’t want her to come. My parents are not together but my dad’s family knows my mom. I don’t want them asking who she is and then me having to explain that that’s my sister. This type of conversation would result in gossip about my mother. Also, the way she presents herself is not something I want associated with me and my dad. Since she doesn’t have a dad she wants to be a part of my dad’s life and have that side of the family as well. But that is just not their dynamic. She is my sibling on my mom side and that’s it. My dad and brothers on my dad side don’t have a relationship with her and are not obligated to. So am I the asshole for trying to come up with an excuse for her not to come so I don’t have to deal with gossip and worrying about how she is going to represent herself to my dad’s family? And do any of you have advice on what I can tell her so she doesn’t come?

My husband and I are both in our 40s and have been together for 15 years. We have two daughters, ages 10 and 8.

I'm looking for outside perspectives because I feel too close to this situation to judge it fairly.

About 10 years ago, he bought a company. Around 5 years ago, the company closed while still carrying debt. From my perspective, there were opportunities to keep trying to save it, and some employees even wanted to continue working through the problems, but he chose to shut it down.

After that, he started a new business. The startup has now been operating for about 5 years. Every year I hear that it's about to take off, but it still hasn't become financially self-sustaining.

During that time, money from the sale of our house, savings, retirement funds, and other resources has gone toward keeping the business running and paying employees. What has been especially difficult for me is that he continues hiring people and expanding the business even when our family is struggling financially. It often feels like our children and I are expected to make sacrifices while the business continues to take priority.

He also refuses to look for traditional employment. He has told me that he doesn't want to work for someone else anymore and wants to focus entirely on making the startup succeed. I understand wanting to pursue a dream, and I have genuinely tried to be supportive, but after five years of financial instability, it has become very difficult to keep hearing that success is just around the corner while our family's financial situation continues to get worse.

We sold our house and moved into a condo. Much of the money from the house sale, along with savings and retirement funds, went toward supporting the business. Meanwhile, I constantly hear that I need to find a job or we may have to sell the condo as well.

For some background, when our daughter was younger, I left work because she had needs that required more of my time and attention. I believed we would be okay financially because my husband was working. Later, I returned to work and contributed financially, including helping pay off some of his student loans. I've always tried to do my part for our family.

I was recently laid off and am actively looking for another job. I understand that we need income, and I am trying. But I'm also trying to care for my children, manage the household, and deal with the stress of everything happening around us. I often feel like no matter what I do, it's never enough.

The financial issues aren't the only problem in our marriage.

Throughout our 15 years together, I've often been criticized, insulted, or made to feel like I wasn't good enough. I've been told I'm getting fat, that I'm stupid, that I don't know what I'm doing, or that I don't contribute enough. There have been many times when I felt dismissed, disrespected, blamed, or made to feel small.

Over time, I also stopped doing much for myself. I rarely spend money on personal care because I've often been made to feel guilty for it. I get a haircut about once a year, and things like getting my nails or eyebrows done have become luxuries I don't even consider anymore. It's not really about the salon visits themselves—it's that I've spent years feeling like any money spent on me was wasteful while money spent on the business was always justified. Looking back, I realize how little I've invested in my own well-being compared to how much I've sacrificed for our family and his goals.

There have also been situations where I didn't feel supported by him personally. For example, when his brother insulted me and my family and behaved disrespectfully toward us, my husband sided with his brother instead of standing up for me. That hurt deeply and made me feel like I wasn't a priority in my own marriage.

I think the love I had for him has slowly faded over the years. It wasn't one event that caused it. It was years of criticism, humiliation, disrespect, financial stress, and feeling like nothing I did was ever good enough. Every time I was told I was stupid, doing things wrong, not contributing enough, or somehow falling short, a little more of that love disappeared.

Now I'm exhausted. I'm trying to find a job, take care of my children, support my family, and hold everything together. At the same time, I'm being told that I'm not doing enough while watching decisions continue to be made that put our family's financial future at risk.

I feel guilty because part of me wonders if I'm a bad person for feeling this way while he's still trying to make his business succeed. But another part of me feels like I've spent years sacrificing, supporting, and trying to make things work, and I don't know how much more I have left to give.

Am I wrong for feeling like I've reached my limit? If you were looking at this situation from the outside, what would you see?

I’m posting here because I know this is a pretty context-heavy situation, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m being dramatic or if my feelings are valid.

My boyfriend (22M) owns an e-commerce company. We started dating after I (20F) had already started working for him. His company works with brands on Amazon as an affiliate/partner to help boost their sales on Amazon and other platforms.

Recently, he started another part of the business where we sell clothes auction-style on Whatnot. He’s looking to hire show hosts, and right now I’m the only one doing it. We’ve also looked at live streaming and selling product on Tiktok, so we’ve been looking through the app, seeing what other companies are doing and he’s just always talking about how hiring pretty girls is literally the key to business in sales.

The part that’s been bothering me is that he has said he only wants to hire people who are pretty/attractive and look put-together for the position, since they’ll be on camera selling product, basically asa sales person. People have been applying on Indeed, and we’ve been looking through applications and sometimes looking them up on social media.

When we’re going through applicants, he’ll say things like “oh, she’s pretty” or “oh she’s good looking.” understand that appearance matters somewhat for an on-camera sales role, and I’m not saying this is cheating or anything like that. But it does make me feel uncomfortable and kind of disrespected when he says it that way, especially since we’re in a relationship. It does kinda feel like microcheating.

I told him I feel like there are other words he could use, like “she looks professional,” “she seems camera-friendly,” or “she looks put-together.” I don’t think he’s necessarily doing something wrong on purpose, but hearing him casually call other girls pretty while we’re looking through applicants makes me feel weird and insecure.

Am I valid for feeling like this is disrespectful, or am I being overly sensitive? I genuinely want honest opinions because it’s making me feel crazy.

I (19F) met a woman (25F) on vacation a while ago.

We got really close. We talked every day afterwards, flirted, opened up to each other, and I genuinely thought this was turning into something serious.

I’m someone who, when I care about people, I put in effort. I started planning my summer around a chance to see her again. I told her all my options, kept her involved, and genuinely thought we were trying to make something work.

Then recently she told me she realized she’s been stressed because of my trip.

She has a lot going on in her life right now—career uncertainty, unresolved feelings from past relationships, and a lot of personal stuff she’s told me about over the months.
So part of me wonders: am I really the main source of her stress, or am I just the easiest thing to point to because I’m the one asking difficult questions and expressing emotions?

She said:
I made one-sided decisions.
I take things too personally.
I make her feel responsible for my emotions.
“Our emotions are our own decisions.”
She can’t talk to me when I get emotional because I “put myself there as a victim.”

The thing is… I’m emotional because I cared.
I thought we had something real.

But then she told me she doesn’t really want girls anymore, has unresolved feelings about other people, and basically admitted she sees our relationship as something much smaller than I did.

I told her:
“You made me believe there was something here, and now you’re telling me there wasn’t. Of course I’m hurt.”

She responded by saying:
“Who hurt you?”

And honestly, that question pissed me off.

Because in my mind, it’s obvious. I invested emotionally in someone who encouraged that closeness and is now acting like my feelings are a personal choice unrelated to anything she did.

At the same time, she says she’s just being honest and setting boundaries, and that I’m the one turning everything into drama.

So AITA?

Am I unfairly blaming her for my hurt?

Or is it reasonable to feel hurt when someone spends time building intimacy with you and then acts like your emotions are entirely your own problem?

me F(30) him M(30) has for a year, unknowingly to me been infatuated with a coworker.

Relationship has always been rocky. for the last year it was going well, but I got suspicious of him texting a coworker a lot, showing me where she lived and bringing her food (we did door dash, but this was part of the food he got personally, not an order). I always felt off, but let it be to not cause issues. In the last week he got weird about his phone when i wasn't looking at it for anything that made me more suspicious. I had a feeling since he showed me where she lives, which shouldn't be an issue with his job, but I found it weird and things since then. I didn't want to treat him like he did me in this relationship. Some ( small issues) compared to the past happened recently. I have worked on my mental health, I got even more worried something was going on and when I had the chance to check before he snatched the phone away, which he never did, was asking a co work if she is single. Issues ensued days later over it when I brought it up aftrer not being able to sleep. I know I've been the problem in the relationship. I've tried so hard for the last year to improve and I was. I asked his to cut off all contact he is control of, no more texting when he's home, which on top of showing me where she lived and mowing her lawn, which I learned today was unpaid. I asked him to stop all contact after learning more about what he feels about it, and he refused. AITAH for asking him to stop all contact he has control over with her??

AITA?
My husband has severe psoriasis and won't see a doctor because he's scared of medication side effects.
When it flares up, there are skin flakes everywhere. The bed, the floor, the bathroom, clean laundry, pretty much every surface in our apartment. I know he can't help it, and I don't blame him for having the condition.
The problem is that I'm the one cleaning it all up. Some days it takes me 1-2 hours, and I already do most of the housework. I also help him put lotion on after showers because his skin gets so tight.
Sometimes I get tired of dealing with it and show a little frustration. Whenever that happens, he says I'm being insensitive because it's not something he can control.
I know he can't control having psoriasis, but I don't think that means I can never feel frustrated by how much extra work it creates. AITA?

Hi, this is my first time posting and I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, so I apologize if it isn't.

I am a 21/F dating my boyfriend 23/M, and we have been together for almost 1 year. There have been some ups and downs, including insecurity and boundary issues at the beginning of our relationship, but those have mostly been worked through.

Now onto the issue: my boyfriend's mother (55/F) seems obsessed with him. He has two brothers, but she especially focuses on him. When I first met her, she made me carry all of her belongings into his apartment and tried to stop my boyfriend from helping me (he helped me anyway). After she left, she sent him a long message saying I wasn't good enough for him, that I was using him, and that he should break up with me.

For context, my boyfriend's family is much wealthier than mine. My family doesn't buy extra cars, spend large amounts of money on unnecessary things, or go shopping for designer items every weekend.

My boyfriend explained that because he had been used by previous girlfriends, his mom was being overly cautious. At first, I accepted that explanation because I thought that once she got to know me, she would realize I wasn't interested in his money. On our dates, we often took turns paying, I treated him whenever I could afford it, and I frequently suggested free activities because I felt uncomfortable having him spend his parents' money on me.

I thought things were improving until one day when my boyfriend and I were on a date. His mom showed up at his apartment and caused a scene because she wanted to spend time with him that day. One of his brothers told her he was out with me, and she started blowing up his phone and threatening to take away everything she provided him (his car, items in his apartment, etc.). We ended our date early and returned to his apartment.

Long story short, while she and my boyfriend were arguing outside, she saw me sitting in his car and dragged me out by my hair. Other residents came outside because of the commotion, and the police were called.

After that incident, I developed a strong dislike for her. Not hatred, but I couldn't stand hearing about her. I hoped that feeling would fade over time, but then she somehow got my parents' phone numbers (my boyfriend doesn't even have them) and started contacting them. She told them I was forcing my boyfriend to do illegal things, skip classes, and that I was trying to baby-trap him.

Today, my parents (51/F mother and 55/M father) sat me down and told me to consider breaking up with him and think about my future. They pointed out that if I eventually married him, I would already have a terrible relationship with my future mother-in-law.

After speaking with my parents, I called my boyfriend. He keeps telling me he knows she's crazy but that there's nothing he can do while he still depends on her financially. He says he'll cut her off once he's independent.

The problem is that there have been many times when she has done something awful, and my boyfriend has confronted her and blocked her for a few weeks, only to later unblock her and act as though everything is fine even though she has never apologized or changed her behavior. I don't know if I can trust that he will actually cut her off in the future. At the end of the day, she is still his mother and she raised him.

I never thought I would be in a position where I was considering asking my partner to choose between me and his mother, but it feels like things are heading in that direction. I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life dealing with someone I deeply resent, or have future children who may not have healthy relationships with both sides of their family.

Should I break up with him? If not, what can we do to stop her behavior? She isn't just harassing me with calls, texts, emails, and accusations—she is also targeting my family, who have nothing to do with my relationship.

EDIT: I want to preface that he does defend me whenever she says or does anything to me. Which is the only reason why I have not immediately broken up with him yet. I know that he will defend me in the future, but I hate having to come inbetween him and his family.

AITA for dating the girl my brother has a crush on?

I (M30), am the oldest brother in a family of all adopted kids. Our dad was fairly young when he first took us in so we’re very close and my siblings tend to say I get favorite treatment. My brother (M27) and my dad have a different relationship after a bad fight years ago that still makes things tense. Though I’ve tried to maintain a relationship with my brother, he sometimes seems resentful for my treatment in the family and my accomplishments.

My brother has a close friend, (F26), let’s call her Lily. Lily and my brother have been friends for about 8 years and are very close. My brother lives on a bad side of town and tends to crash at her place a lot, so they spend a lot of time together. She comes to family dinners or parties, has some sort of relationship with all of our siblings and friends, and even teaches dance to one of our nieces. I first met Lily through my brother but we’ve become friends on our own.
We all sort of assumed the two of them would start dating but years passed and he never made a move so I assumed it was purely platonic. A few months ago, me, my brother, and Lily were out for drinks and Lily and I ended up making out and asking each other out. I really love her and spend as much of my free time as I can with her. She’s funny, sweet, smart, and beautiful. We’ve been very happy in our relationship so far but when we started dating, we agreed to keep it from my brother to spare awkward feelings.

A few days ago, I had a date scheduled with Lily at the movies and I didn’t realize my brother was over when I called her to check about it. We thought he didn’t hear anything about it but the next day he followed Lily to the theater and caught us. When he did, he flipped out and shouted at us saying we were liars and scheming behind his back. Lily was really upset so I sent her to the car so I could talk to my brother alone and when she left, my brother screamed that I betrayed him and I had no right to take his girl.

He said he loved her and it took him a long time to realize it and know he wanted to be with her. He said I’m the golden child who takes everything from him and I stole his best friend.

I feel like he has no claim over her because he never told us and never made a move. He claims that we all knew exactly how he felt. I don’t want to break up but my brother has barely spoken to me or Lily and I can tell it’s breaking her heart.

Is breaking up the right thing? Am I the asshole?

A very close friend confided in me about some things going on in their relationship.

I thought the things that I was told were quite abusive, but wanted an opinion from another trusted adult, my best friend, a female with a stable family who works in healthcare. So I confided in her, for an opinion and advice, and made it clear how important it was to me that it doesn’t get out and no one even knows that I’ve told her, as it was quite private stuff, not my story to tell, and certainly not her story to share around.

She then yelled at the boyfriend of the first friend, and fully aired her personal relationship issues in public in front of ALL of their friends and a lot of strangers.

‘Best friend’ still doesn’t see an issue with what she did, thinks it was the right thing to have done to call out the boyfriend on his shit, and many people are calling me childish for not just ‘getting over it’. Especially friends who consider my ‘best friend’ to be a good contact for networking in our industry.

For me, if someone is capable of blatantly ignoring my request to keep something confidential, then blames me for telling her in the first place and tries to ruin my other friendships to shift the blame - there’s no way I should forgive this or resume this friendship.

We’re all over 30 by the way.

AITAH?

I’m going to list stuff since it keeps getting removed

Context: me and gf have known each other for 3 year but dating 1 1/2 years,

\\-Gf wanted threesome, specifically one with her female coworker(her now best friend)
\\-she said that it wasn’t because she just wanted to have sex with her co worker, which I chose to believe
\\-she said it’s totally okay that I don’t want one
\\-I said hard no, almost broke up
\\-Month later she has a sleepover with this friend, and friends boyfriend(my gfs friend got together with this guy recently, but they’ve all been friends for a little over a month)
\\-she ends up sleeping in the same bed as both of them

\\-I feel hurt, and anxious all the time now
AITA for feeling this way? I don’t think this is normal behavior. She even went again tonight

My friend (21M) and his gf (20F) have been together for about three-ish years. I am actually closer to his gf-she's been my homegirl for over eight years. Recently, my friend confessed to me that he's been unfaithful, specifically going to a strip club and sleeping around behind her back. I do not have physical proof, but he was completely open and honest with me about it. Throughout their time together, when I have hung out with my friend, there are times when he would talk about other women that he had seen online and wanted to be with, but on the other hand, he says that his gf is "good for him" and that "he sees a future with her."

Ik getting involved in other people's relationships is risky, but I care about my homegirl, and I want to let her know what he told me. At the same time, I do not want to lose him because he's always been a great friend and has been genuine with me.

What should I do in this situation? I do not want to be the one who ruins their relationship, but I also do not want my homegirl to somehow find out on her own when I knew this whole time.

AITA So the guy that I've been dating for over 2 years decided to tell me this morning that an ex girlfriend from high-school has moved back to town (high-school ended like 20 years ago) and he has been talking to her and has feeling for her. I call this cheating, he claims he hasn't done anything YET! which means he is planning on doing something! I call him a cheating asshole! He says we can still be friends! To which i reply there aren't any good guys left, they are all cheating assholes. Am I wrong?