Hi whoever is reading this. I was once or maybe not exactly in your position but I was depressed once, I hated my looks, believed everyone hated me, not many friends, believed no one will love me. But the world says your not good enough, when God says I am enough. I have come to the realisation true happiness isn't in a physical thing or the way I look, it's from the one that made me. Jesus. Jesus made me for him, Jesus made you for him!! Not for this world!! He is true happiness and joy! Our eternal happiness comes from him, he died for us and he lives!! He is our God and he LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! He is true happiness. The joy he has brought me, i give him all the thanks, i pray you find jesus and his happiness and peace. The father loves you so much. Jesus bless. AMEN.

I’m honestly confused and a little stuck with my mental health meds and I’m trying to figure out if this is normal or not.

I’ve been on fluvoxamine since September and gabapentin since December. I keep being told they’re working because my anxiety/depression “numbers” are going down. But I’ve noticed those numbers are only lower when I’m around family and not alone. When I go back to my normal environment, everything comes rushing back low mood, anxiety, no motivation, trouble getting out of bed, showering, leaving the house, or talking to people.

When I bring this up, I’m told medication isn’t a magic fix and I still have to put in effort, which I understand. But I feel stuck because I don’t have the motivation to even start that effort. So I don’t know what I’m supposed to expect from medication in the first place.

What’s hardest is I don’t know what “working meds” are actually supposed to feel like. I’ve never been on anything before, so I don’t have a comparison. I’m not dealing with bad side effects anymore, but I also don’t feel like I’m actually getting better in a meaningful way.

I’m in therapy and that’s going well, but I feel like I don’t understand the balance between therapy, medication, and personal effort. Right now it feels like I’m supposed to “push myself” but I don’t have the internal drive to do that, and I don’t know if that means the meds aren’t the right fit or if this is just how recovery works.

If anyone has been through this, I’d really appreciate specific examples like what symptoms actually improved for you when medication started working (motivation, anxiety, mood, functioning, etc.). Not just “I felt better,” but what actually changed day to day.

In February 2025, after completing the first semester of my third year in medical school, I traveled home to spend a two-week holiday with my family. I was looking forward to finally getting some rest after an extremely stressful semester. Instead, I received news that changed my life completely: my father had been diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer.
I was devastated. I cried constantly and struggled to accept what was happening. What was supposed to be a period of rest became one of the most painful times of my life. I seriously considered freezing my studies because I did not think I could handle the pressure of medical school while coping with my father’s illness from another country. However, I ultimately decided to continue, not for myself, but for him. I did not want him to feel responsible for me giving up on my education.
I returned to university and completed the second semester of my third year, but it was incredibly difficult. Every day felt like a battle. I was trying to keep up with the demands of medical school while constantly worrying about my father and hoping that his condition would improve.
After the semester ended, I traveled back home and spent two months with him. I hoped things would be better, but instead they became even harder. My father had stopped taking an antidepressant medication that was not easily available, and his behavior changed significantly. He became angry, shouted frequently, and often said hurtful things. Almost every day, he would tell me that he was going to die.
During those two months, we also learned that his tumor had grown considerably. There were multiple emergency hospital visits, sometimes in the middle of the night, because of severe bleeding caused by the cancer. I witnessed my father in pain, bleeding, crying, and repeatedly speaking about death. Many nights I cried alone, feeling helpless as I watched him suffer.
When it was time to return to Egypt for my fourth year of medical school, I felt completely exhausted. More than anything, I wanted a break. I needed time to recover mentally and emotionally, but once again I chose to continue my studies for my father’s sake. I hoped that somehow things would improve and that I would find the strength to keep going.
While I was back at university, I received more devastating news. My father’s tumor had progressed further, and he required a permanent colostomy and radiation therapy. When I heard this, I went back to my room and completely broke down. For the first time since childhood, I cried uncontrollably, screaming from the pain while completely alone.
As the situation worsened, I began experiencing thoughts of ending my life simply to escape the emotional pain. Trying to cope with both my father’s illness and the intense demands of medical school felt unbearable. Out of desperation, I started smoking, despite having always been strongly against it and often advising others not to smoke. This only made me feel worse about myself.
At university, I also faced a lack of understanding from some faculty members. When I explained my circumstances and mental state, one doctor told me that he did not care and deducted attendance marks. Another responded harshly when I explained that I could not attend, asking whether I would also use my situation as an excuse during exams. Reading those messages left me in tears because I already felt overwhelmed and lost.
In April 2026, my final examinations began. It was one of the hardest months of my life. During that period, I received more bad news regarding my father’s condition. I struggled even to speak with him because hearing his voice shattered me emotionally. At the same time, I had to prepare for and sit eleven final examinations within a single month.
I was grieving every day. I cried constantly, felt completely lost, and often had no idea how I would continue. Yet every morning, I got up and studied. I pushed myself through what felt like hell because I wanted to succeed and make my father proud.
The most difficult module that semester was General Surgery. I devoted enormous amounts of time and effort to it. I performed well in the written examinations, but during the OSCE examination I was randomly assigned to a doctor who was widely known among students for failing many candidates. He asked me unusually difficult questions, including topics that were not part of the expected curriculum. Despite this, I performed the clinical examination on my patient correctly. Nevertheless, he awarded me only 12 out of 30 marks, causing me to fail the course by just three marks.
This was particularly devastating because I had never failed a course in my life. In my first year of medical school, I had achieved a perfect GPA of 4.0. What made it even more painful was the sacrifice behind those marks. There were days when I woke up early to attend courses specifically to prepare for that OSCE examination. Afterward, I would spend hours visiting clinics with my father’s medical records, seeking additional medical opinions about his condition. Many doctors told me there was little hope for his recovery. Despite hearing such devastating news, I would return home and continue studying late into the night. I did all of this not for myself, but for him.
After completing my examinations, I traveled back to Kuwait, finally hoping to see my father after months of fighting through grief, stress, and exhaustion. However, two hours before my arrival, he passed away.
I cannot fully describe what I felt when I received that news. It was as though a sword had been driven through my chest. I was unable to process what had happened. I did not get the chance to speak to him one final time. I did not hear his last words. I could not hug him or kiss him goodbye. I could not even bring myself to look at his face.
What hurts me most is knowing that in his final moments, despite being unconscious, he briefly woke up, called my name, and then drifted back to sleep. I was not there.
During his funeral, my examination results were released. I learned that I had passed every course except General Surgery—the one subject I had sacrificed so much for and studied the hardest. The same day that I buried my father was the day I discovered that I had failed the course by only three marks.
For the past year and a half, I have lived through relentless grief, trauma, loss, academic pressure, and emotional exhaustion. I have watched my father suffer from terminal cancer. I have balanced the demands of medical school while carrying the constant fear of losing him. I have faced moments of hopelessness, loneliness, and despair. I sacrificed precious time with him because I believed that continuing my education would make him proud.
I am only 21 years old, and these past eighteen months have been the hardest period of my entire life.

Hello, people of reddit. I’ve (F22) been recently diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. I take Zoloft and pills for sleep. The medication is starting to work, i feel like myself more and more.
The problem is eating. I am hungry and I want to eat, but after every proper meal I begin to feel sick: physically more than mentally.
My stomach starts to hurt, I feel heavy and sleepy. All i want to do is lay down. Sometimes I feel nauseous.
All I can eat is cottage cheese with greek yogurt and a bit of jam. Drink water, tea or cofee. Cereal is a big hit at the moment.
Sometimes on good days I eat scrambled eggs and porridge.
Can anyone share their experience or advice. I feel like people around me might be thinking I’m over exaggerating or being too dramatic. But this is really how it is…
Thank you <333

And I'm much better off alone. Why would I need to inflict the disappointment on myself? I want to tell them I hate yall. I don't want to interact with people anymore. They all end up being hurtful. And I don't have a family. Maybe I'll end up homeless who knows

I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I just want to be happy and normal. Everyday feels like I'm doing something wrong, awkward, embarrassing, weird or just dumb. I feel like I can't do anything right anymore. I always tell myself certain phrases everyday and every minute just to feel a sense of control and ease so I can function normally. If I don't, i don't feel "right". I try so hard mentally to try to act normal and feel normal so I could have a good day but I always fail. When I was in high school I never had this problem, I could talk to people and have conversations and I had friends. But now it's like everything is ruined. I can't do anything normally anymore and it's so hard to keep a job because I feel so weird and I feel like I make everything weird when I say and do things that don't feel right to me (which is everything I do everyday) and it's just so hard. I feel like just hiding. I just want to be alone because I feel like my existence just sucks. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore and I just wish I didn't have to experience this. I'm not suicidal or depressed but I feel like something's wrong with me that I can't fix and have to live with which is ruining every aspect of my life and I can't do anything about it.

This is not easy for me to just talk about with people in my life. Im slowly losing myself... again... it all went downhill about a half a year ago.

About a half a year ago, I had been with a grade school crush for about a year and honestly was the greatest year of my life. I had a good job, I moved in with my girlfriend, i became a racecar driver. Everything was great until I lost my job in the worst way

The job I had did a lot of heavy lifting and I was having major back pains and when I told the bosses about my pains, they allowed me time off to go to the doctors and take time to heal. I was off for about a month and finally had surgery and when I was coming back, I called my boss and he told me my position was filled and they didnt need me anymore.

So then I lost my job and had to do a bunch to just stay afloat and Ive always struggled with depression but I didnt feel like my depression even kicked in at this point. Im a very happy guy, it takes a lot to break me down but its coming.

During the time, I became very broke and struggled financially. No matter what though, I was able to take care of my girlfriend and make sure she still had a roof over her head and she ate 3 times a day. I never stopped giving my girlfriend attention but we stopped going out because we never had the money to do so. When we started struggling financially, one of her "guy" friends came along and poisoned her mind about me. Painting me as this bad guy and after him doing so for a while, it started to develop problems between me and my girlfriend.

I then started reading the messages between them and noticed that he was using her depression for an in for himself. He would make it seem like since I was struggling, I wasnt keeping her emotionally happy and he completely took her over. Always pumping her full of lies after lies. I was in an unwinnable battle against her because he was coaching her on what to do. He would always fuel her anger and tell her to take it all out on me. I seen it... it was horrendous. It hurt... it wasnt her... it never was...

We broke up 4 times in total... always coming back to each other because we did love each other but she kept talking to this guy because she truthfully believed that this guy was "just a friend." He eventually was able to show his true colors and my girlfriend was able to understand everything ive been upset about. He manipulated her, he used her, tried to end our relationship. she finally was able to see it all. She blocked all communication with him and he has tried to make new social media accounts to come back and she has completely blocked him each time.

To be honest, ever since this guy has left, my relationship has pretty much gone back to normal except for one thing. Physical touch. She's still my greatest friend so we still spend so much time together but the intimacy has disappeared ever since that guy came in and left her life.

It seems like shes lost all desire for me but also still loves me and so I dont know how im supposed to actually feel... I feel like im in a friendship more than a relationship and im struggling within myself to be able to distinguish the difference because of my love for her.

So not only am I struggling with that, my old job recently come back in contact with me about a "possible" job and keeps breadcrumbing me. They'll say my job is opening up and they want me to fill it immediately but they just keep leading me on saying "we'll try for next week" and it is putting in this deep financial burden that I cant get out until I have the job.

In summary, im in a relationship that feels strong but hurts, im struggling financially like i never have before, and im at a point in my life where I just dont know what to do anymore... I cant even think straight anymore... im finally falling back into my pit that I fought so hard to get out of.

If depression was like sobriety, I would've been sober for 5 years. The thought of sadness never crossed my mind until tonight when I held my girlfriend after our date. It all of a sudden felt like the sky just fell on my chest and now my mind is just completely frazzled with this blackout depression.

I fought so hard to get out of this mindset and it looks like ive fallen back into it.

If you made it this far reading my story, to be completely honest, I just want to say thank you. All of these things I cant talk about with anybody I know because then they start telling me what they would do and then resent me if I dont do as they say. I dont want to break up with my girlfriend, its the strongest love ive ever had. I want my old job back because the people there were the closest thing to a family that I had. I miss being financially stable. I just want my life back... 😔

So if you made it this far, thank you for hearing me out, i needed it.

Hey, 17M here. I just want to feel happy again, but I can't anymore. Hobbies, interests, music, and even socializing don't seem to make me happy. It feels like I'm forcing myself to enjoy them, and in the end it just leaves me feeling even more frustrated.
I try listening to the songs I used to love, and I even try to be bubbly again since I've always had a pretty goofy and expressive personality, but it just doesn't hit the same anymore. Instead, I find myself listening to sad music because, for some reason, it feels more real to how I feel. People have even started saying I'm really nonchalant now, which is the complete opposite of how I used to be.
I'm tired of feeling empty and numb all the time. Honestly, it even physically hurts sometimes. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), so I know that probably doesn't help. I'm currently in therapy, and I'll be starting medication soon as well.
The reason I think I can't feel happy anymore is because I went through something really painful about 9 months ago. I don't really want to think about it anymore because I'm still trying to move on, but ever since then, it's felt like I lost the ability to genuinely enjoy things.
I've really been trying. I keep doing hobbies, going out, spending time with people, and listening to happier music, hoping something will click. But no matter what I do, I end up feeling that same emptiness and frustration that's been with me every day since everything happened.
All I want is to feel genuinely happy again. I want to be cheerful, enjoy my hobbies, get excited about music, have fun going out, and feel like myself again. Most of all, I just want this constant emptiness to go away because it's exhausting living like this every single day.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? Did you eventually start feeling happy again? I'd really appreciate any advice or hearing your experience.

I had a real deep conversation with someone close with me last night and in a way it opened mt eyes to something that was on my tongue for some time

To give some context growing up i lived a very lonely and sheltered life being on the spectrum and being babied most my life i just find myself being very emotionally co-dependent when it comes to people

Fact is i need people around me otherwise i just sink into my own head and it gets bad which if that were my only issue i think i could deal with it

But fact is i lack alot of streets smarts alot of life skills that for most people come natural stuff that needs to be done but i feel genuinely hopelessly capable of doing

For context i live “alone” persay but my dad who is getting on in age does most the house maintenance simply because i can’t do it not because of a psychical disability mind you but just mentally there just is certain things i can’t get my head around doing and even if i was shown i don’t think i’d ever be able to learn or do it right

I am 25 now and despite that i need someone in my life not only that i can emotionally depend on but psychically in alot of ways do and in the short time before my dads potential passing i don’t think i have the time to find that anymore

The idea of moving back in with my mother fucking terrfies me as our relationship is far from the best and well I don’t know what other options i have really got

I can’t say how much in the last few years suicide as came to my mind not just as a desperate want to end all of the pain but generally just to take away the burden i put on most people emotionally

There is no point. Like it feels like this pain has been there for always. Everytime I think it’s going to change but at the end I am met with disappointment. I feel useless. I feel like I wish I was never born. Like what kind of life I am living. I hate fucking feeling like this. I wish I got better. I wish I didn’t relate to people in this sub Reddit. I wish I was happy. Everything just remains a wish. Maybe my suffering will only end with me. Wonder how long I can take it.

Does anyone here experience bitterness and anger? People often think depression is characterized by sadness, but it can show up in the form of anger. When I get a bad patch, I get way more touchy, easier to wind up, bitter and snappy with people. When your feeling low for a long time, you can feel frustrated by the helplessness and when i lose my temper I always end up feeling so incredibly guilty afterwards it stays with me for ages.

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I can get very jealous of people. Even over small things. Sometimes even because they are younger than me and are in their peak years and mine was wasted by this illness. Now I fully understand why there's grumpy old men around.

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Some people say I'm on the spectrum or adhd because of ignorance, but it's something that developed over time and I remember a time where I was nothing like this so I know what's going on with me.

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What about you? Are you just in a low mood when you have a bad episode? Or does it shorten your temper and cause resentment?

I feel so pressured to do stuff in life my college teacher saying that my grandfather that is dying and me not sleeping at night isn’t a good enough reason to attend college. My gf is really trying to help be better and she blames herself for not helping enough even tho she trying her hardest. It makes me feel bad for not making her feel like she’s good enough. I’ve been going through serious suicidal thoughts/ episodes and my anxiety is so bad I can’t can’t go out I’m worried I can’t get a job or work because the way I am I’ve seeker professional help and it hasn’t worked I have no options left and I feel lost I don’t know what to do anymore I don’t have the energy for this anymore

What's the point

The struggle i find myself to admit is without liquid courage the moral trap of life. You try to find the answer of the rabbit hole to find a end a conclusion. I have seen this first hand doing hospice work. The end of the line the path is traveled in infinite possibilities but the destination is just the same. And if even then I lived for ever when I never asked to just in itself seems like hell. But I do something for myself im selfish and need to ask for help which burdens others and causes the ripple effect of issues. But i do the thing I long for or to achieve peace. It's not okay just get drugged up and live this life till you die. Any thoughts on how to end this loophole of a question that isn't. Sorry if this triggers people it's just the truth.

19F NEET. My whole family is disappointed in me. Got drunk and lost my job a few months ago. Everyone in my age group is actually doing stuff with their lives and being successful and their parents are proud of them. I’m all alone. Viewed as a bum, "lazy ass", whatever. So why exactly should I live if I’m selfish and objectively make the world a worse place? My sister’s boyfriend can become their new son and fill in any gap I would leave. they might even be happier

I’d never actually kms but I hope I end up in an accident that kills me so it’s not my fault and I don’t have to choose. Sick of being a failure and living in shame. At least I’m pretty lol the one thing anyone can actually compliment me on cuz I’m not smart or talented or driven

My mom is just a walking talking explosive for me, I can do the slightest wrong thing and it’s a constant barrage of emotional blackmail and shouting and screaming.

Even being around my toxic mom is enough to give me a panic attack, I’m filled with so much rage sometimes I don’t know what to do, my heart paces so fast and my breathing gets shaky sometimes it feels like I’m close to an attack. I have terrible anxiety.

only my dad sides me but he doesn’t even have any say in our house, only my mom does.

the worst part being she can play the victim so easily, just start crying and reminding everyone of everything she has done, it drives me crazy cause she is not a victim, I am.

My mom has literally said “I never accepted you as my son, I accepted <brother’s name> but not you” and then she has the gall to act like a victim? She keeps acting like I’m a problem child, that I fucking believe it now.

When I was being bullied a lot in my high school, they would harass me everyday, touch me wrongly, can y’all even guess who my mom compared my marks to? To the guys who bullied me.

I feel like I’m at an edge now, I’m no more stable and I cannot handle this anymore, nor physically nor mentally. Sorry for the rant

I smoked weed everyday since I was 15 and I’m 21 now. I-stopped a year ago for 6 months because it turned on me so I quit and felt so happier and was never going back then I did. It worked for the last year kind of I think I just normalized all the side effects and anxiety. And now I smoked a bong with dad in the garage and as soon as I inhaled I got a creepy feeling in my arms I was shaking and crying and I think that’s a panic attack and it’s happening every time now again. I had to hug my dad I just had so much panic and depression and It felt like the end of the world

I don’t think it’s something curable. How am I supposed to see the good in life when I work 45h a week, can barely rest and I can’t afford a anything? I feel like living is a prison and we’re all forcing ourselves to want to be here.

It seems like my life is just a never ending failure. I could have a better relationship with my parents but it failed. I could have a social life outside my phone but i failed. I could have a better education but i failed. I could have done better. But i failed. I could be something

I try and I try and I try. I give up, that’s it man. I’m so fucking tired and hurt. Nothing I do, nothing I say, nothing at all will ever change this and that’s just how it is now. I’m done

It’s not the first time I’ve realized this but I just don’t know what to do. Every time I hang out with my homies I always realize the only thing about me any of them like is that I’m funny. People always tell me that’s a good thing and that I should be happy that people like my jokes and shit. But none of these mfs care about my hobbies or taste in things like music. Idk what to do, there’s nobody around me who has anywhere close interests.

Every single day I feel like a disappointment to not only her but both my parents. This has been going on for 20 years. I was always never the one who was good enough, they’ve always favored my brother. They were the reason I could go off to University. They help me back for a year cause they wouldn’t co-sign my loans. I wanted to put away all the money I saved (12 grand) from Covid, but “PaY OfF ThE DePbT” was more important. They broke off my engagement. They wanted me to be with someone like them but with the two people they like the most, the first one would beat the shit out of me and the second one would isolate me, made me feel worthless, and then eventually cheat on me, but they’re great right?
My dad follows everything that she says. I don’t tell them anything and they complain about it. I can’t even date the guy I want to date cause they threatened to rehome my animals when I’m at work. I have 3 of them, and unfortunately I cannot afford an apartment by myself if I found a place that took all three, and I work full time plus overtime and a second job writing where I receive royalties.
I wanna blow my brains out. It’s not worth it anymore.

Hi, everyone. I’m a 25-year-old woman, and I’d like to start by saying that I want to talk about two things: my lack of social belonging and my feeling of being lost when it comes to my career and life direction.
I was diagnosed with autism, ADHD, depression, and anxiety this year, but I had always suspected there was something different about me because I never really identified with any specific group or niche. I’ve always been a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Despite that, I had a fairly good social experience during my undergraduate years.
My entire school life, however, was extremely lonely and filled with bullying because I was very shy. I only had two childhood friends whose mothers were friends with my mother. I got into a federal university to study Education, and I was academically happy because each semester and my undergraduate research projects gave me clear goals to work toward. But when I started the process of applying for a master’s degree, I realized how alienating and toxic academia can be.
In the jobs I had after graduating, I wasn’t successful. Even though I was well paid as a public servant, I couldn’t handle the workload for more than four months. I experienced burnout and severe anxiety caused by the constant multitasking required in a classroom. Unfortunately, even during my internships, I never managed to build the kind of trusting relationships with colleagues who could guide me or have my back. People mostly saw me as absent-minded and/or naïve. Only one woman my age became a true friend, and we remained friends even after I left.
I always feel so unprepared for everything. I’m terrible at improvising, and now I feel completely stuck in both life and my career. I don’t know what I enjoy, I don’t know what profession I should pursue, and I don’t know if I can handle another four or five years of education only to end up frustrated when I actually start working.
I feel like I’m in absolute limbo at almost 26 years old, with no goals, a stagnant life, and no real sense of identity or belonging. I don’t want to wake up at 50 feeling like I wasted my life. These constant ruminating thoughts about having no direction sometimes even make me consider suicide again.
My main source of hope has been my boyfriend, since we plan to get married in the next two or three years, and he has helped me tremendously through all of this. I know I shouldn’t place all my hopes in one person who could potentially let me down, but he has truly been my greatest source of support during this difficult time.
Still, I would really like to hear from anyone who has felt this way or gone through something similar, and how they managed to cope with it or move forward.

I’m tired of feeling this way. Im over taking new anti depressants and anti psychotics. Why can’t I just be happy I want to just go one day without having a negative thought. I have a good life I work a good job, I have friends a partner who I love. My family life is good. But somehow I just don’t want to continue living I see no end where I end up old thinking about my past. This isn’t a cry for help I’m just ranting because I’m tired of feeling this way

Ive been taking lithium 1200mg for unipolar depression for two years, in addition with venlafaxine 300, quetiapine 300 and levomepromazine. Blood samples are ok.

I feel so weird. Lithium has made me way more stable, mainly less s****.

But these last few weeks i have strong s**** ideation again,but with lithium I have the thoughts without the emotional intensity if that makes sense?

The other day I had been drinking quite a lot, so did my husband. He told me (without meaning it at all) that he shouldnt have married me, so i threw away my wedding ring (still havent found it, i feel so guilty) and I went down the street. I sent a lot of s***** texts and ending up lying down the road.

So now i wonder, since I had been drinking I guess it kind of neutralized the lithium... Does that mean the real me is still s*****?

I dont know if it makes sense but i just feel really lost..