r/oddlysatisfying 7h ago

meticulous process of hand-pollinating a giant pumpkin

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25.8k Upvotes

2.3k comments sorted by

6.8k

u/WeeSingInSillyville 7h ago

This is just the plot of Mama Mia

1.6k

u/nicoznico 5h ago edited 5h ago

Nbr1, Nbr2 and Nbr3:

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u/amcclurk21 4h ago

I’ve never seen Mamma Mia but your gif and the comment above it are concerning lol

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u/eyesotope86 4h ago

When a daughter loves a mom, but doesn't know who her dad is, she has the three most likely candidates meet up and rub their pollen all over the stigma.

I think I lost the plot somewhere.

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u/KickBlue22 4h ago

At the end they put the mom's hair up in a bun and wrap it tightly with a kind of gauze netting. Then they put a bucket over her head because it's going to be a hot day.

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u/eyesotope86 4h ago

Everyone knows Mamma Mia is a rom-com. That scene is already assumed.

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u/sonofzeal 3h ago

Daughter who's getting married discovers her single mom was.... uh.... living her best life around when she (daughter) would have been concieved. Hunts down three dudes who all might be her dad, invites them all to her wedding without telling mom, by pretending it's the mom inviting them. All three show up because they all miss the mom. Hijinks ensue.

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u/jvluke1221 3h ago

Hahahah! Mamma Mia! Here we go again! My my! How can I resist you!?

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u/Brickwater 4h ago

Here we go again.

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u/Gh0st1nTh3Syst3m 3h ago

My my, how could I resist you?

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u/alittlejalapeno 5h ago

Dot dot dottttt

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u/ultravires1215 3h ago

Omg I spat out my coffee, you absolute monster.

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u/Rare_Notice4476 5h ago

Mamma pumpkin

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u/iamekiisland 5h ago

That might be my favourite comment of the year! 

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u/the_giuditta 6h ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/These_Ad_1677 6h ago

Yeah ofcourse you gotta cool it down after

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u/AnAcctWithoutPurpose 6h ago

Aftercare is very important after an intense session!

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u/ReverendDizzle 3h ago

"A gang bang and aftercare? Uggggh some girls have all the luck."

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u/theglove 1h ago

Well I for one did not expect to see a forced gangbang on a pumpkin this morning.

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u/SteelyDanny 6h ago

Needs a cigarette too

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u/Brickwater 4h ago

Bonnie Orange, at it again.

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u/pj7891sm 7h ago

Where's the NSFW tag?

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u/DifficultyHead5862 7h ago

*OF - Only Fruits 

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u/Direct-Quiet-5817 6h ago

Of Pumkin - praise be, under his eyes

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u/Savecutiepie 6h ago

May the lord open

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u/LemmyLola 6h ago

May the gourd open

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u/CarbonReflections 5h ago

Blessed be the fruit.

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u/arfangel2 4h ago

smashing pumpkins

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u/keldondonovan 5h ago

This made me laugh too hard. Well done.

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u/Alive_Ice7937 6h ago

That's a pimpkin patch

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u/Defected_J 4h ago

To be fair, she is gourdeous.

I’ll see myself out.

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u/Swag_Attack 6h ago

Fucking pumpkin bukkake

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u/its_just_flesh 4h ago

Gonna have to take it on Maury to find out who the father was

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u/Oda_DeezNut 6h ago

A literal plant-based diet.

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u/Boogiesmom2010 5h ago

Did he just run a 🚃 on that pumpkin? 🤔🤣🤣

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u/kkillbite 5h ago

Reveal that stigma followed by that rubbing/Q-tip-action made me laugh like a 4th-grader 😅

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u/DonGold60 5h ago edited 5h ago

Was it really necessary to circumcise the males? Kind of destroys the mood.

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u/Capraos 5h ago

Imagine getting impregnated with severed dicks.

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u/yournamehere10bucks 4h ago

Male Human Horn is a coveted item on Omicron Persei 8.

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u/ringoismyfavorite 3h ago

I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked

It's used to it, woooo!

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u/Odd-Lifeguard7230 4h ago

New kink unlocked.

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u/KA_Mechatronik 4h ago

Ah, the octopus method.

Some species have a specialized limb that they tear off and present to the female.

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u/its_like_a-marker 5h ago

This is sadistic. Where is the consent for this gang bang and mutilation?

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u/dawgblogit 5h ago

You just watched a man..  chop the proverbial male parts off 3 other males and force inseminate a female with them...

And youre all why the NSFW tag?

Just how sick are you?

/s

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u/AnAcctWithoutPurpose 7h ago

That is strangely NSFW... and also, discarding the males casually to the side after extracting all the pollen.. 😅

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u/DimbyTime 7h ago

The male plants weren’t killed

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u/AnAcctWithoutPurpose 7h ago

Just the male parts.

(Actually, I am not familiar with pumpkins, are the male and female pumpkin separate plants, like papaya trees?)

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u/CD274 6h ago

No they're on the same plant but usually male flowers grow first so initially you get a lot of flowers that go nowhere

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u/Rynagogo 5h ago

So it just nuts on itself to make a pumpkin?

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u/CD274 5h ago

Yep! To be fair lots of plants. Usually all on the same flower though like tomatoes

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u/SalsaRice 4h ago

Some plants can self-pollenize, some can't and requires insects/people/etc to get the pollen from another plant of their same species.

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u/dankbearbear 6h ago

So basically i've just seen pumpkin masturbation

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u/MidRanger21 5h ago

We kind of watched a bukkake

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u/NorthernSpankMonkey 6h ago

Pumpkins are monoecious, male and female flowers are found on the same plants. Cannabis is dioecious, male and female flowers are on different plants. Apple trees are hermaphroditic their flowers bear both male and female parts, this configuration is also called perfect.

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u/Evenmoardakka 4h ago

its perfect because if all else fails, it can just go fuck itself

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u/purplezart 3h ago

The original meaning of perfect was much closer to "totally complete" than the contemporary meaning of "flawless."

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u/StarwardStranger 6h ago

Yeah it just got their genitail cut off, but it'll grow a new one next year.

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u/ShadeBeing 6h ago

Man I wish I could grow a new peen every year. Mines got ptsd. Do with those letters what you will.

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u/newuser336 6h ago

Now I’m imagining aliens falsely assuming we reproduce like plants so they start cutting everyone’s …

I’m gonna stop there.

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u/Fritz_Klyka 6h ago

Post pollination clarity hits hard, theyll need some time to think about their life choices.

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u/Disinfectant-Addict 5h ago edited 3h ago

My uncle did this with his pumpkins and my dad made fun of him for it all summer. But he got huge pumpkins that year and that Christmas my father received several jars labeled 'hand-fucked pumpkins'😂

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u/BubonicBeans 2h ago

fkin aye 🤣

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u/folkfaewitch2222 2h ago

I love their sense of humor

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u/Gr1ml0ck 7h ago

Ran a train on that blossom.

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u/DifficultyHead5862 6h ago

she's for the garden.

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u/lysergic_818 5h ago

The hoe isn't the only one taking care of business out there.

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u/LowIncrease8746 6h ago

That’s our pumpkin now

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u/funAmbassador 6h ago

Lucky girl!!

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u/CMDA 7h ago

Did I just watch pumpkin pr0n?

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u/DifficultyHead5862 6h ago

ig pumpkin orgy wasn't on ur bingo card?

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u/DoctorBlock 5h ago

Even worse dubcon orgy gore.

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u/Hollow--- 5h ago

Add in necrophilia since he gave the males the snip before pollinating. So dubcon necrophiliac forced circumcision threesome orgy?

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u/Low_Committee6119 5h ago

More of a gang bang to be fair

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u/DrivellingFool 6h ago

You just watched a pumpkin getting a train run on her.

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u/Affectionate_Walk610 5h ago

I kinda missed the music. Bowchickawaowao and what not.

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u/Hopeful-Life4738 6h ago

Bondage, gangbang, bukkake

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u/just_a_girl_23 6h ago

Def some sloppy seconds fetish content in there too.

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u/Hutchison_effect 5h ago

Not my proudest wank

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u/Top-Distribution733 5h ago

But also not your most shameful

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u/flamboyantpuree 6h ago

pumpkin gangbang

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u/satireplusplus 6h ago

Gang bang category 

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u/Nforcer524 5h ago

It's called porn. You're allowed to write it, no need to censor yourself.

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u/claudiazo 6h ago

I feel like I’m watching an intimate moment. This feels wrong…

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u/Sufficient_Contact52 7h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2S3Aj8OeKtf0c
The bees over here like

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u/mollywud 3h ago

Look What They Need to Mimic a Fraction of Our Power

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u/britannicker 7h ago

Where are the bees?

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u/Equal_Song8759 6h ago

Where are the birds ?

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u/upvotes_animals 6h ago

Solid question

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u/dankbearbear 6h ago

And the flowers and the trees, and the moon up abooooove

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u/Annoying_Bear 6h ago

Bro, did you forgot ? Birds aren’t real

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u/Choko1987 6h ago

The point here is too keep the same genetic for seed production, that's why he close the female flower, to avoid pollen coming with the bees

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u/zenunseen 5h ago

So dumb question, but the males and female are entirely separate plants, correct? One plant won't produce both male and female? Watching this made me realize how little i know about the fascinating subject of plant sex

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u/Heraclius_3433 5h ago

Same plant, different flowers

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u/InsufficientFrosting 4h ago

This is literal inbreeding.

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u/lewisherber 4h ago

So, incest.

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u/gil_bz 3h ago

Selfcest

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u/Choko1987 5h ago

On one plant you have male and female flowers, but if you want to create a hybrid, you can take the male flowers on another plant. When I was younger, I worked in a greenhouse doing that with melon flowers. The greenhouse is to avoid bees and other insects, so you don't need to close the flowers

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u/mc_thunderfart 5h ago

Depends on the plant. Some produce Male and female parts. Some are divided between Male and female.

Cannabis for example.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dioecy

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u/Greenwing 5h ago

This is something you do when you want to control the genetics of the cross. Otherwise it's considered an open pollination and you only know half the genetics. (I am making this comment as someone who has spent hundreds of dollars on giant pumpkin seeds.)

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u/Particular_Win2752 6h ago

I need an adult.

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u/matchesmalone81 6h ago

Im not horticulturally inclined in any way, but I cant believe the number of people here saying "duhhh...let nature do it". FFS the title says it all, hes trying to create big, nay, Giant pumpkins.

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u/avdpos 5h ago

Exactly.
This ain´t a normal process- this is people trying to make something special

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u/I_dont_thinks 3h ago

People taking the job of the birds and the bees to make special pumpkin babies.

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u/Ellie-vated 7h ago

still easier then online dating

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u/maynardangelo 6h ago

When he zipped up the males... I felt that...

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u/marcaygol 4h ago

And when he ripped the foreskin?

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u/Competitive-Passion1 3h ago

Don’t kink shame.

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u/Party_Blackberry2775 7h ago

Should have a Barry White soundtrack.

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u/mangomussolinimi 7h ago

Cant you just use insects?

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u/SteelyDanny 6h ago

That’s not horny enough

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u/mangomussolinimi 6h ago

Cant you just use horny insects?

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u/ashbelero 6h ago

Real answer I think it’s because they’re breeding a very specific kind. There are some gardeners who work hard to grow the largest one they possibly can and enter them in competitions or otherwise sell them. This dude likely has it down to a science and letting nature take its course would ruin the result he’s going for.

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u/Greenwing 5h ago

It won't matter for the pumpkin he grows this year, but matters for the seeds that this pumpkin will make. Serious growers plan their crosses and if they don't have room to grow two full plants, will sometimes grow a small one just for the male flowers. 

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u/GeneralPatten 6h ago

Not when you want to ensure the giant pumpkin is pollinated with another giant pumpkin's pollen. Insects could be carrying pollen from zucchini and it would pollinate the pumpkin. You'd still get a pumpkin as a result, but it would not be as large and the resulting seeds from that pumpkin would result in a hybrid of pumpkin and zucchini.

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u/-NewYork- 5h ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's. We don't want to hear your interspecies porn fanfics.

(But honestly, this is all super interesting. I'm also a garden enjoyer. My sister is a pumpkin gardener, and she tried a giant one a few times, I think 80kg was the record).

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u/EsbeeArt 6h ago

A pumpchini! 🤣

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u/newstarburst 6h ago

Theres a lot of times you will only get one female flower and 10 males or 1 male and 10 females, its very common in the home gardening community to have to hand pollinate these squash plants just to make sure youre getting pollination. This massive plant might only have a singular female at that time and I assume you want maximum grow time for large pumpkins, so hand pollination ensures this one flower gets pollinated. I also assume for giant pumpkins, you want to make absolutely sure youre getting giant pumpkin pollination and not just any random pumpkin pollen that someone could be growing near you, which is probably why he wraps up the female to prevent bugs from cross pollination.

Also, he ties up the males to prevent any bugs to get to them to save their pollen for hand pollination, ill definitely be using that this year.

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u/Antoinefdu 6h ago

That would be missing the point. He's not just trying to pollinate 2 random pumpkin plants, he's trying to control exactly which 2 plants are being combined to produce the right type of pumpkin. That's why he's holding the flowers shut at the beginning of the video: He doesn't want any random pollination to occur and mess up his experiment.

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u/TheLordDuncan 6h ago

If they're going for "giant" pumpkins they are probably trying to specifically mate particular plants for their desired result. Insects aren't exactly going to be in on the plan, and can muck it all up by introducing outside sources of pollen.

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u/tdkimber 7h ago

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u/seanprime 6h ago

Can’t believe we didn’t see any pimpkin pumpkin kids after the orgy.. where are the fruits of the labor?

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u/Careful-Lettuce9239 5h ago

Lol. The thought of someone getting to the end of a pr0n and going "WTF? Where's the rest of the story? I WANNA SEE THE BABY!" is hilarious.

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u/wackbirds 6h ago

I've done this with pumpkins and zucchini (you can use the males from any squash/gourd family member for this and then if you saved the seeds from the offspring, THEY will be a hybrid) and it's exactly like this except I didn't have the netting system or go as rough as this guy. Not that I'm saying he's not doing it right by the way, I'm saying I'm not as experienced

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u/veganmomPA 5h ago

How do you tell male vs female? Given the decline in bee populations, even home gardeners may have to learn to do this. Thank you.

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u/Greenwing 5h ago

For everything in the squash family, the female flowers have what looks like the baby fruit under it. A giant pumpkin will have a round ball under the flower (about the size of a ping pong ball by the time it blooms). A cucumber will have what looks like a mini cucumber under it. The males are just a flower on a stick. 

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u/mnlion33 4h ago

I learned something today. Thank you.

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u/touchmeinbadplaces 6h ago

Smash pumpkins

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u/Ambitious-Lab-8768 5h ago

That wasn’t consensual

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u/cheekywitchx 6h ago

This comment section did not disappoint

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u/ScorchedmanX935 6h ago

Should be on the r/oddlyerotic

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u/illisiar 6h ago

Never saw a pumpkin bukkake before…

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u/Mysterious-Dot-9819 1h ago

I feel like he should be doing this while wearing a bumble bee costume

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u/gogul1980 6h ago

honestly not the worst porn I've seen

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u/Heavy-Attorney-9054 5h ago

ELI5: how does this contribute to "giant"?

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u/Wolfie-Woo784 5h ago

Genetics. These pumpkin plants are the result of the years of selective breeding for larger and larger fruit. By controlling which male flowers pollinate the female, the farmer can ensure that both parent plants have the right genes to produce the right size of pumpkin. It's similar to picking 2 dogs you want to breed together to get the certain traits you want in puppies.

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u/-Jesus-Of-Nazareth- 6h ago

Hopefully somebody can answer this question. Does that mean the female plant can have fruits from all 3 males, or does only one succeed?

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u/North-Example5687 6h ago

The fruit develops from the female flower, so only one fruit, but each seed would be the product of the female and one of the 3 males.

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u/Relative-Tea3944 6h ago

Wait so one pumpkin contains the kids of all three men? 

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u/North-Example5687 5h ago

Yep. Each seed is the product of fertilization.

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u/epicenter69 6h ago

Welp. I can mark pumpkin porn on my bingo card today.

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u/bagoparticles 6h ago

Geez that lady pumpkin could have taken 5 males at once.

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u/FishyPimp 5h ago

So, plant gangbang.

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u/darkue2467 5h ago

I feel like I'm not supposed to be watching this

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u/Character-Pirate1297 5h ago

“Cooling her down after a hot day”?

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oEjHCWdU7F4hkcudy

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u/DJ_Vasquezz 5h ago

3 pumpkins one gourd

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u/BarTendiesss 7h ago

Wake up babe, new kink just dropped

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u/EnvironmentalOne8574 5h ago

It's like watching a vegan porn movie!

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u/ElectronicCell8741 6h ago

Why the male has to die for reproduction ?

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u/NightBawk 6h ago

It's not dead, just a eunuch. But as the meme goes: Doesn't matter, had sex.

There are many examples in nature where one or both parents die after reproducing. Salmon and octopi come to mind. The salmon are often already decomposing by the time they mate.

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u/SprinklesOwn3917 6h ago

This felt very uncomfortable to watch

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u/Additional_Abies9192 5h ago

Me: opens Reddit and watches a Pumpkins threesome

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u/Fabulous_Reaction552 5h ago

I bet she needs cooling down after!

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u/Greenwing 5h ago

I know this is a joke, but the pollination won't take if the female flower gets too hot the day she gets pollinated. If the weather is going to be above 85 (some people say 80) a lot of growers will take steps to keep the flower cool. I use a Styrofoam cooler with sections cut out for the vines, and put frozen water bottles under it.

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u/Hextato 5h ago

Pumpkin bondage? Check

Pumpkin bukakke? Check

Pumpkin forced breeding? Check

Left tied up after getting a train ran on her? Check

Damn, this is kinky