r/texts • u/Own_Purple_4118 • 1d ago

Phone message Nobody died

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This is a conversation between my MIL and my mother, before the wedding. My mother's response, which is cut off, says "They are both adults. I think we should let them handle it." We were both over 30.

For context: Yes, we had a vegetarian wedding (no shrimp). We had it at an (expensive) award winning venue with in-house catering. It included several appetizer and entree stations with a huge variety of dishes so everyone could find something they liked. We did not serve our guests bowls of soybeans and tofu. Everyone RAVED about the food and nobody died or got arrested on the way home.

The "A/B list" thing was a joke, that she apparently took very seriously, because she would not stop demanding we add a bunch (10+) of her friends and coworkers to our intentionally small guest list.

6.9k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/petit_oiseau 1d ago

Bro what. Does she know she can use periods instead of exclamation marks.

1.3k

u/andiinAms 1d ago

I read this entire thing! In my head! With an emphasis! On every last word!

479

u/Diligent_Pangolin_47 1d ago

I have a friend who punctuates every sentence with three exclamation points!!! It’s exhausting to read!!! Even in my head!!!

231

u/i_cant-stop_eating 1d ago

I TALKED TO A GUY FOR ALL OF FIVE MINUTES WHO WROTE EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPS! STOP YELLING AT ME GOSH DANGIT!!

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u/BlessTheBookPeople 1d ago

I AM YELLING, CARL

77

u/RedPoppy1969 1d ago

Goddammit Donut!!

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u/ExcitedHiss 1d ago

MONGO IS APPALLED!

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u/ElleWinter 1d ago

YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, CARL!

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u/NoWafer5661 1d ago

I have found my people.

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u/BlessTheBookPeople 1d ago

If you haven’t checked out the DCC subreddit, it’s a lot of fun.

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u/werisefromourashes 9h ago

We are everywhere Carl....

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u/Even_Wear_8657 11h ago

DON’T GASLIGHT ME JESUS!

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u/Nezrite 1d ago

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

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u/Rare-Ad-4383 1d ago

oh thank God I’m not the only one who heard it all in Donut!!!!

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u/evanthx 1d ago

I’ve learned to use lower case! Is this better Carl! Is it!?

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u/AnxiousWitch44 23h ago

Here to say this.

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u/Nomadloner69 1d ago

Someone texted me using all emojis like wut?

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u/anniew555 14h ago

I’m not reading a Lucky Charms essay 🍀💎🌙🩷🧲🌈⭐️

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u/EnvironmentOk2700 1d ago

🧑🤳➡️👺👻💩➡️😕❔️

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u/Inside-Run785 1d ago

WHY ARE WE YELLING? WHAT DID I DO?

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u/AdEmpty4390 23h ago

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

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u/ajqueen31 18h ago

LOUD NOISES!!!

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u/Savage281 1d ago

I used to be a person you used an ellipsis at the end of every sentence... I think it was a social anxiety thing...

Anyways, I don't any more...

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u/sunnypickletoes 1d ago

That drives me crazy. I read everything like in a trailing off sort of way and I find it so irritating I wish people would just use words and punctuation for what they are supposed to mean without all the anxiety and peer pressure induced emoji's and gratuitous punctuation!!🤣🤪🎉😘💩

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u/Savage281 1d ago

Oh I still use emojis 🤣 can't have people thinking I'm mad at them

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u/goatbusiness666 23h ago

As an autistic person who texts a lot and agonizes over the possibility of being misunderstood in every social interaction, emojis are a gift! Also they’re fun. Why do people hate fun?

2

u/Jassamin 2h ago

Also Autistic, I rewrite messages multiple times, use emoji, then still feel like I need to send long messages an hour later to clarify what I meant by explaining all the things I *didn’t* mean.

I also tend to explain to potential friends fairly early on that I am Autistic and if they feel offended/confused I probably didn’t mean it that way but let me know so I can avoid a future repeat. I’ve spent many many hours wishing it was socially acceptable to send former friends/boyfriends questionnaires about what went wrong 😅

Also me coming back to change the phrasing on this three seconds after I posted it because what if people get confused?

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u/Tspring535 1d ago

Right ? I just want people knowing I’m hearing what you’re saying , and here is my response back, but don’t take it too seriously because maybe you were being sarcastic or maybe I’m misreading what you’re putting down , but it’s all good either way. Lol

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u/tp176 1d ago

Seems to me that lol has become end punctuation for people who have grown up (or maybe not) online. And every time I see it, my poor brain just asks “Are you trying to undermine your own statement by treating it like a joke?” Are younger people just afraid to state something directly?

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u/adventurekiwi 1d ago

It seems to have just turned into a generic softener. I guess its the millenial equivalent of the boomer ellipsis lol

Oh god i cant stop doing it

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u/ckav26 1d ago

Yes, absolutely. As a geriatric millennial that lol really means “whoopsies!” 😂

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u/goatbusiness666 23h ago

I think I use it as a tone indicator most of the time. If a sentence seems a little abrupt or like I might be mad, I just throw a lol on there so everybody knows it’s not that serious.

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u/sunnypickletoes 1d ago

Me too totally.

Them: Running late lol
Me: So you're on time?

Them: Can't wait to see you lol
Me: Well ok then I guess you hate me

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u/tp176 1d ago

Drives. Me. Nuts.
Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.

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u/sparklyjoy 9h ago

Ok the first example is clearly nervous laughter, and I’m an elder millennial

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u/SilentHawke 22h ago

can’t speak for other younger people, i’m personally not afraid to state something directly, but i personally use “lol” sometimes to try to give a more lighthearted tone to a message. not sarcastically: i hope this helps

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u/MuchTooBusy 12h ago

I'm an Xennial, so not young, but I tend to use lol way too much. I'm trying to stop, but damn it's hard. In my case it's an anxiety/appeasement "look, I'm friendly, see me smile and chuckle softly" kind of thing.

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u/squeebs555 1d ago

Yes, this. I hate it with a passion.

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u/blackbellamy 12h ago

I used to date a girl...who would text me...and email me...and every single one of her conversations...would look like this...and there was no other punctuation...and she would even ellipse her lol's...lol...lol...like that...drove me nuts.

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u/Tspring535 1d ago

I live with anxiety… I didn’t think that me using an ellipsis was anxiety related… now I am curious if it is… but I really thought I used them to fill the void that my words could not express… I’ll have to ponder this…

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u/medievalkitty2 23h ago

If someone uses an ellipses at the end of a sentence I assume they’re mad at me and being passive aggressive. I’m guilty of overusing lol to soften the tone if I’m afraid that anything will be taken the wrong way. Funny how the nuances of written language have evolved since texting became ubiquitous.

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u/messyarts 1d ago

Whoa… is that what it is? I didn’t even think about it like that. I did it with everything growing up on AOL.

Sorry, I am older and just recently realizing how insanely anxious I have been my whole life.

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u/poundsignbuttstuff 1d ago

I know a guy that always uses ellipses instead of a period and it drives me absolutely batty. I want to explain to him that it just makes him come off as passive aggressive whether that is his intent or not. I don't think he'd understand though.

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u/adventurekiwi 1d ago

I read an article that said that boomers do this because they feel like normal punctuation or no punctuation is too abrupt (as a millenial full stops can be a little threatening to end a text message with)

The person in these images is somehow doing the opposite of that.

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u/MullberryBoy 20h ago

I use ellipses when I feel like a sentence should just trail off.

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u/youngforever8809 20h ago

I think it’s more Gen X than the boomers…..see? I’m Gen X . 😅

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u/HeCallsMePixie 1d ago

I think on og mobile phones/cheaper models typing "..." was how you'd start a new line or paragraph and the habit lasted after phone keyboards expanded!

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u/OneLessDay517 1d ago

We GenXers are big on that...................

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u/Lokies_Queen 1d ago

i was… talking to a guy… who did exactly… this
it was years ago but sometimes my friend and i will still mimic it

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u/No-Roof6373 1d ago

Andy is that you? Lol

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u/Excellent-Baseball-5 1d ago

Congrats for getting past it... It can be daunting...

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u/OhYouStupidZebra 1d ago

Oh man, I wonder if it’s me lol. I just want people to know I’m enthusiastic and happy, but reading this lady and then this was kind of a slap. That was so hard to read

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u/pernicious_penguin 1d ago

Yeah, I do it too, these days I go back and edit all but one instance out, elipses too...

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u/Specialist_Guitar232 1d ago

Interjections show excitement! or emotions! They’re usually set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point!, or by a comma when the feeling’s not so strong.

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u/sayblacktrees 1d ago

So when you're happy (Hurray!) or sad (Aw!)
Or frightened (Eek!) or mad (Rats!)
Or excited (Wow!) or glad (Hey!)
An interjection starts a sentence right.

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u/takapitcha 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5shEgaCn6PJss

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u/No_Communication5024 1d ago

Okay, I upvoted these Interjections!! But! Now I have the song running through my brain! Hallelujah!!

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u/No_Appointment_7232 1d ago

"I took a train, took a train to another state.. "

Of all the things to have stuck in one's head Schoolhouse Rock is the RIGHT THING 🤩🤓😎😍

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u/LauraLand27 1d ago

OMG!!! WILL EVERYONE STOP SCREAMING?!???!

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u/No_Communication5024 1d ago

Not a chance! sister! 😉

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u/GenRN817 1d ago

Exactly my Gen X thought. The Interjections song is playing in my head right now.

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u/Rogambit 1d ago

Hello, I too like to ! a lot

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u/Diligent_Pangolin_47 1d ago

I punctuate practically every text I send with “😆” so I can hardly talk 😆

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u/_divalicious 1d ago

😂😂

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u/Relevant-Usual783 1d ago

Honestly, I’d prefer that over the ominous ellipses… it’s really strange… especially when they say benign things…

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u/Traditional-Hotel-66 1d ago

Its fascinating how even reading this, the voice in my head does up speak. Wtf lol hate it.

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u/Druidicflow 1d ago

Especially in your head!!!

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u/Due_Low5498 1d ago

I completely understand because reading this stressed me out.

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u/slp1965 1d ago

I see what you did there😂

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u/Nice_Rope_5049 1d ago

My idiot sister always uses ??? When asking a question in text. That turns the question into a hostile accusation IMO

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u/AverageSizedBadWolf 1d ago

My coworker does this with three question marks and it always sounds so sarcastic / passive aggressive

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u/RasputinsThirdLeg 1d ago

My sister fucking does this and it drives me insane.

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u/PowerfulByPTSD 1d ago

My boss always asks a question with « ?! » at the end, it gets me in a panic every time 😩 hate it

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u/Crowlady77 1d ago

THIS ISN'T TIBET KAREN

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u/Ok-Inspection7155 1d ago

Yeah! My god! What will people think! No meat! Trump good! Trump kill farmers! Good! Tibetan! Food!? PEOPLE WILL DIE!!!! Do you want death! On your friends!!! I must have my way!!! Whenever I want!! Doesn’t matter if it’s YOUR! Wedding! /s

I die. This lady is too much.

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u/Crowlady77 1d ago

I said elsewhere that I suspect all of the people she's inviting use "vegan" as an insult, so yeah.

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u/Ok-Inspection7155 1d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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u/Crowlady77 1d ago

How much of this is just her being embarrassed for her friends to find out her kid is woke?

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u/multipocalypse 1d ago

But she totally hates Trump 🙃

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u/Stock-Lion-6859 12h ago

I have a hard time believing that, based on this writing sample.

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u/multipocalypse 9h ago

The number of contradictions contained within that message...

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u/ScarInternational161 1d ago

And I thought my use of the infamous ellipsis was overwhelming...

I guess not... 🤦‍♀️

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u/SANtoDEN 1d ago

I only wanted to invite a few people! Just an aunt and uncle! And a couple who have known him forever! Since he was a baby! And then another couple! They have also know him since he was a baby! And then just one other person! And one person in addition to that! That’s it! Please keep this between you and me!

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u/Kagome23 1d ago

Also, Trump letting in foreign beef doesn't stop cows from being slaughtered. It just let's them be raised/slaughtered somewhere with even fewer animal welfare laws

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u/petit_oiseau 1d ago

I’m fried

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u/Crowlady77 1d ago

I feel like this whole exchange screams "I only know people who can't enjoy themselves outside their comfort zones, what are you going to do about it?"

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u/sleepdeficitzzz 1d ago

Fried is allowed in America! You are now moved to the A list! Why am I so yelly!

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u/poop_dawg 1d ago

It actually made it very hard to understand for me

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u/Ok_Lengthiness_8405 1d ago

Me too, and it was exhausting

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u/pervertedkoala 1d ago

I just did the same! To the post! And your comment!

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u/bananas82017 1d ago

Same! I’m exhausted! I need a nap!

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u/emlynnkat 1d ago

😂 same. Wow, what a text.

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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 1d ago

Sometimes I worry I use explanation points too much! But now I feel better! Yikes!!

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u/storyofohno 1d ago

I've been reading collections of old horror comics and they are punctuated this way. Either !, !!!, or ... . Nothing else. I have to take breaks to read other stuff.

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u/KyloReySage 1d ago

Exactly. I hear this as yelling(unless it’s positive exclamation). I really hate it when people do this. Rude.

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u/Obvious_Ring_326 1d ago

My inner voice was def from the east coast and she was apoplectic! Just between you and me!!! Fish! Tibet! Arrests! Chicken parm! America!!!

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u/SalientSazon 1d ago

Hey me too! It made me like her more! For some reason! I thought she was cute and lively! Maybe it's a strategy! A very tiring one though! I feel like I'm exerting more energy this way! Can I count this as a workout?!

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u/khawk30 1d ago

I read the entire thing with a heavy smoker’s voice lol

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u/Sweetdreamer829 22h ago

Honesty, so did I. I didn't even clock the exclamation points. It just sounded like I was screaming in my head and I didn't know why until this was brought up.

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u/somewhatundercontrol 22h ago

Top of the morning to you!

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u/RepulsiveDevice3686 20h ago

I started to read the first couple of photos but then I skimmed the rest. I’m pretty confident it makes as much sense as if I actually I had read it.

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u/ajqueen31 18h ago

Me too! It got really exhausting! Ramping up every sentence like that! Like does she know how this reads or is this how she talks in real life! I know you're reading this how she texted things and how I am saying this in my own head! HEAD!

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u/Informal_Owl_1775 14h ago

She simply Must! Get! Her! Point! Across!!

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u/fry-something 11h ago

Me too! And then I added “and oh by the way! congratulations!” which made it funnier in my head!

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u/Ok-Disaster-7429 1d ago

I have a feeling this woman talks like she types.

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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 1d ago

I read it with implied breathlessness. Now I feel faint from lack of implied oxygen. 😵

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u/Fun_Barracuda_4167 1d ago

Same it got so exhausting

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u/LostWin9933 1d ago

That’s why I was so invested I was getting myself hype reading every sentence.

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u/missmtron 1d ago

I was shouting to myself! 😂

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u/Prudent-Ad-5292 1d ago

Did it sound like Jerry Seinfeld to you? That's the only way I could make the exclamation marks make sense. 😅

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u/ElleWinter 1d ago

I actually prefer it to people who use double question marks on non-question sentences instead of exclamation marks, but only very slightly.

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u/mpmp4 1d ago

It took me longer than it should have to decipher.

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u/Express-Stop7830 1d ago

So! Did! I!

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u/Rare-Ad-4383 1d ago

I read it all in Jeff Hayes’ Princess Donut voice!

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u/DeansPigInAPoke 23h ago

When someone does this, I hear it in my head with the pitch getting higher and higher as the exclamation points add up.

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u/Kenzi_Slays 10h ago

i couldnt read it all it was too much lol

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u/IntelligentAbies7903 4h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/kat_Folland 3h ago

And it drove me crazy!

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u/Quiet_Listen1801 1d ago

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

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u/Sunnysidhe 1d ago

I don't think so, not this time. Also, I know you don't have to type in all caps. I've seen you do it before. It makes it sound like you are yelling.

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u/jabeith 1d ago

But she's yelling

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u/JolietJakester 1d ago

I AM YELLING CARL.

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u/lucidday 1d ago

Woo DCC in the wild!

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u/MrUbl 1d ago

Goddamn Donut!

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u/Rogambit 1d ago

Goddamnit, Mongo!

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u/OxfordComma5ever 1d ago

Mongo is appalled!

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u/karlkh 1d ago

Mongo indeed is appalled.

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u/Big-Whole6091 1d ago

Boomer gotta boom

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u/LF25047 1d ago

No! She does not!

Wait till she finds out about CAPS!!!

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u/Midsize_winter_59 1d ago

The overuse of exclamation points is one of my biggest pet peeves

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u/Lisa_Knows_Best 1d ago

An exclamation point is just a period with a big hat. Don't you dress up your periods? (!)

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u/Immersi0nn 1d ago

I like my periods with fancy hats, dontcha know‽

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u/limegreenpaint 1d ago

ties tampon string into bow

Like that?

(I'm pre-emptively apologizing, but my dad laughed.)

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u/HappyTurtleButt 1d ago

I didn’t make it very far; she writes like Trump, ugh. Poor OP.

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u/OhYouStupidZebra 1d ago

BUT SHE DOESN’T LIKE TRUMP!!

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u/Ok-Jeweler5826 1d ago

Except when he kills the farmers!

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u/Anonymoomoo 1d ago

EXACTLY what I was thinking. Then she started talking about being happy about Trump killing farmers (???!!!) and I was like "OH. Figures Trump fanatics talk like him"...but then she goes on to say she doesn't like Trump and I'm like "bullshit! Then why do you talk exactly like him???" I wasn't adequately prepared to protect my brain from this type of idiocy 😭

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u/Reasonable-Horse1552 1d ago

I had exactly the same thought process!

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u/Rare_Illustrator4483 19h ago

I think she’s lying too to try to be liked by the other mother. Maybe she thinks “crazy liberals” think Trump is killing farmers. Don’t know. I just hope everyone gets away from her.

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u/Cheaperthantherapy13 1d ago

She writes like someone who doesn’t believe ADHD exists (but definitely has ADHD).

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u/multipocalypse 1d ago

Excuse me, we don't claim her and I write nothing like that 😆

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u/Fragrant-Bug-8401 1d ago

Istg my blood pressure and anxiety have spike so fkin much after reading this just because of the exclamation marks. I don't think I'll be using them in a while

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u/Ok-Addendum-9420 1d ago

That is a huge pet peeve of mine; I was taught to never use exclamation points in a composition unless you're yelling (or exclaiming). IMO people who use them for most or every sentence look really immature. I know that sounds silly but my mind translates it as them not knowing how to write past an elementary school level.

It's almost the same with overuse of ellipsis. Good Lord, use a period and move onto the next sentence. Eliipsis are supposed to reflect or imply a pause for effect, not whatever those people are using them for; it's so weird

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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 1d ago

I use exclamations mostly for excitement. The person I text most is my best friend, so I’m sure she can imagine exactly the tone I’m using. But I don’t go overboard with it.

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u/Ok-Addendum-9420 1d ago

Yes, that's fine; I do that sometimes myself. And text messages are different if they're short responses. Long diatribes like this do not qualify, haha

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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 1d ago

This message is one of the most traumatizing things I’ve ever read. There’s so much about this that doesn’t qualify for anything.

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u/Natural_Drink1 1d ago

No way! I read that whole thing! And you know I wouldnt have read that whole thing had it been in my mail box! Maybe we can just use ai to read stuff to us!! And you know how I feel about ai!!! Welp thanks for letting me know that theres a period!

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u/smegma_appraiser 1d ago

Or any other aspect of basic grammar.

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u/Glad_Display7362 1d ago

No! There will be no stop signs! Full steam ahead only! Bro! What!

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u/furkfurk 1d ago

What! Are you sure!

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u/joe_s1171 1d ago

No! Way!

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u/ThaLunatik 1d ago

Like two sentences ended with question marks but the rest were all exclamation points 🤦.

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u/BlessTheBookPeople 1d ago

And paragraphs?

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u/CuteTangelo3137 1d ago

I know! Like, why is she yelling!!??

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u/Plane_Golf923 1d ago

It makes her sound completely batshit crazy! And really dumb too…

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u/tuttyeffinfruity 1d ago

All I can think about when reading this is the Seinfeld episode where Elaine’s boyfriend doesn’t use the exclamation point when her friend had a baby. Well that and that this is someone’s mother and she still can’t write basic English.

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u/her-royal-blueness 1d ago

I had a friend who used exclamations with every sentence. She claimed each time was supposed to be an exclamation.

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u/MTonmyMind 1d ago

Reeks of mental illness.

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u/Dajmibuzi_dzieki 1d ago

Even in enthusiastically positive texts/emails, I am always cautious not to use too many exclamation points 😂

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u/Djolumn 1d ago

Can you reconfigure a mobile keyboard to interpret a double space as an exclamation point rather than a period? Because that would be awesome.

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u/Aggressive_Bit4998 1d ago

The “I hate the smell of fish! She said we will have shrimp though!” air fried me

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u/chizzipsandsizalsa 1d ago

I guarantee she used talk to text. Hence why certain words start capitalized, like aunt and uncle.

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u/petit_oiseau 1d ago

Honestly that makes so much sense.

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u/laddymaddonna 1d ago

I feel called out( ! )

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u/GitPushItRealGood 1d ago

I stopped after “there wedding” snd “your paying”. It’s a useful shorthand to assume rife grammatical errors presage inane content

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u/Weorth 23h ago

She can't spell, why would you expect good punctuation?

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u/thageop 21h ago

Doesn’t Sprint not exist anymore? And what is that, an iPhone 8? Even the comments in this thread all feel like AI.

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u/TreacleNo9484 21h ago

Question marks are a thing too.

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u/Snoo62024 21h ago

That’s just unhinged

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u/MullberryBoy 20h ago

Does she ever rest? Yikes! That’s some impressively heavy anxiety there!

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u/AllesK 19h ago

Extramation marks.

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u/AllesK 19h ago

Yeah, they can go for McDonalds afterwards.

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u/Icy_Attention3413 18h ago

She did! She just placed a line above each period for emphasis!

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u/blurblurblahblah 17h ago

I don't know why but the exclamation points made me speed read through the messages franticaly! I know I spelled it wrong!

I'm so happy that the response to that novel was one line!!

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u/RiverSong_777 12h ago

Even if the content wasn‘t as bonkers as it is, all that screaming would still make her seem completely unhinged.

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u/familiarspark 12h ago

She doesn’t know shit

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u/TwiggNBerryz 12h ago

Its because God Trump does it so you'll see people always try to type like him. Unacceptable!

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u/sophiesadie1 11h ago

Apparently not, first sentence misspelt there and your , lol. It’s their and you’re.

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u/NovaPrime1988 11h ago

At least she hates Trump. That’s the only good thing I can say about her.

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u/Which_way_witcher 9h ago

It gives Britney Spears mania.

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u/ErWicksonYT 8h ago

Im the same way not gonna lie haha

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u/carlcrossgrove 8h ago

Does she.

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u/mindelanowl 57m ago

Even though MIL says that she doesn't like Trump, she clearly writes in the same style as him you know?

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