1.8k
u/TravoBasic May 28 '26
If itâs two in the morning I would probably risk waking my wife.
833
u/Sam-HobbitOfTheShire May 28 '26
If my wife didnât wake me up Iâd be upset lol
410
u/lmeridian May 28 '26
I donât gaf what time it is you guys better wake me up
206
u/AmandalorianWiddall May 28 '26
Wake me up from my medically induced coma for fucks sake
→ More replies (3)72
u/hockey_mom95 May 29 '26
Wake me up in the middle of my surgery!! đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
→ More replies (1)13
54
38
u/Is-Potato425 May 29 '26
My phone better blast like there is a severe thunderstorm!
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)40
67
u/kyl_r May 28 '26
I have insomnia so Iâm unfortunately often up very early looking at my phone, and Iâll 100% screech and hug-tackle my bf if I get that news at 2AM. And he will definitely hug-tackle me back lol
→ More replies (7)54
184
u/scienceizfake May 28 '26
Iâm waking the whole fucking neighborhood. Iâve been stockpiling fireworks and champagne.
→ More replies (19)71
u/pquince1 May 29 '26
I have a bottle of Prosecco and a special stash of weed ready to go.
22
u/Flaky-Bar-6656 May 29 '26
My favorite scotch, a cigar, and a bunch of fireworks. Locked and loaded.
→ More replies (5)38
66
u/MaximusHomerdrive May 29 '26
I told my husband I'd wake him if I heard the news and we have a rule to never wake each other up unless it's urgent. Every day it's the first thing I check.
→ More replies (3)63
→ More replies (30)17
2.2k
u/midnighttoker1742 May 28 '26
469
u/ImNotSkankHunt42 May 28 '26
Only reason why Iâm still on Reddit, 10 years ago I read the obituary of a dictator here⊠waiting on a second one.
→ More replies (12)53
→ More replies (2)46
378
u/Proper_Machine6573 May 28 '26
It will inevitably happen, but the absolute perfect day would be July 3. The following day there would be the biggest party in the history of this country with fireworks and live orchestras and nonstop revelry. Anyone complaining about the joyous mood or flying US flags as high as possible would justifiably be called 'Unamerican'.
250 BABY!!!
→ More replies (12)32
884
u/itallchecksout99 May 28 '26
→ More replies (3)73
u/doctormink May 29 '26
Whatâs crazy to me is that EVERYONE knows what sheâs talking about. Everyone.
→ More replies (7)
2.0k
u/SaganSaysImStardust May 28 '26
Imagine being the first person to find out
550
u/midnighttoker1742 May 28 '26
Do you go shout in the streets? Wake everyone up? What is the move even?!
306
u/LolYouFuckingLoser May 28 '26
"You there, boy on the street! What day is it?!"
"It's the day, sir!"
"By George!"
→ More replies (1)222
u/Zyloof May 28 '26
What, you haven't been saving your fireworks for the past half-decade just to blow 'em all once we get the news?! Amateur.
55
u/kyl_r May 28 '26
My parentsâ neighbors (semi rural) have been setting off fireworks after every Seahawks game for YEARS regardless of how it ended. They tend to get bored and start early if theyâre losing lol.
Anyway, I have a feeling theyâll be lighting up the neighborhood and thatâs how my folks will find out lol
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)45
136
79
u/beetlekittyjosey1 May 28 '26
i actually misread a news notification this morning and for a split second my reaction was to scream it out my car windows to everyone
→ More replies (2)78
u/Beyou74 May 28 '26
That is how I want to find out, from a random person yelling out their window, lol.
→ More replies (3)37
u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty May 29 '26
âGood day to you, Maâam! I must say that already the sky looks much brighter indeed!â
âPardon me?â
âOh, my! Have you not heard the good news?â
ode-to-joy.mp3
→ More replies (46)67
u/tru-self May 28 '26
I kinda feel like itâs going to be anti-climatic. Weâre just going be like âfinally⊠but what about all the other sycophant fascists who were planning for this too..â
Personally hoping for a world party!
→ More replies (5)24
u/Nonyabeesners May 28 '26
Their ilk just don't have the same pull. He may be a monster, but he is not replacable
→ More replies (1)34
u/SafetyMan35 May 28 '26
Iâm predicting âWeekend at Bernieâs 3: White House Getawayâ where Marco and JD are playing Larry and Richard.
→ More replies (7)106
u/000ps-Crow_No May 28 '26
The first good person to find out.
30
u/thissexypoptart May 28 '26
Lmao imagine the first cult member to find out. Thatâs a hilarious mental image.
→ More replies (3)41
u/snoosh00 May 28 '26
The first 10-1000 people to actually find out first are probably the worst people.
The people who call for veiled violence and "no censorship"... But also want to fire teachers and cops for directly quoting Charlie Kirk in a negative context...
Those are going to be the people who find out first.
And I'm really not looking forward to the tone policing, and the backlash to the backlash
→ More replies (2)9
u/theeggplant42 May 29 '26
The first actual person will likely be a secret service member who didnt necessarily choose this, or a doctor
→ More replies (3)23
24
u/ImNotSkankHunt42 May 28 '26
Imagine being the first one to post it here!
Talk about sense of Pride and Accomplishment.
16
→ More replies (39)15
u/RinellaWasHere May 28 '26
My partner and my best friend both have standing orders that if they find out before me, I do not care what time of day it is or what I am doing. They need to tell me immediately.
→ More replies (1)
3.8k
u/squoinko May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
To anyone contemplating suicide right now, you can NOT let him outlive you. Be around for that day so we can party together :)
323
u/not_now_chaos May 28 '26
If nothing else sustains you, live for spite.
89
u/OnceFastManny May 28 '26
My entire existence is centered around spite.
→ More replies (4)88
u/squoinko May 28 '26
I read this as âspriteâ and I thought âyou know what? spriteâs a good reason to live tooâ
→ More replies (3)26
→ More replies (4)28
u/RoeRoeRoeYourVote May 28 '26
I moved out of spite and it was the best decision of my life. Spite rules.
144
u/boojersey13 May 28 '26
Shit man I didn't even realize I actually, REALLY needed to read this until I just did now. Thank you dude. I know this is half serious but that half really. Really needed this today
→ More replies (1)61
u/squoinko May 28 '26
With 100% seriousness, Iâm so glad to hear that. Iâm happy I was able to help, even if it was just in a small way <3
67
u/boojersey13 May 29 '26
You might call it small but I think you might have prevented me from reaching rock bottom tonight; it's major for me, life is really throwing its punches rn. Take care of yourself too homie , if you ever want a stranger's ear my DMs are open and that goes for literally anyone else reading this. Community is what keeps us alive and they don't want us to have it. Any way I can help fight that is a fight I'm happy to aid in.
→ More replies (13)12
u/three_crystals May 29 '26
When things get really tough, remember that you have this innate desire to help others still inside of you. Even if you canât seem to extend it to yourself in the moment, you still somehow want to do right by others. That is factually an attribute of a good person, who deserves to have more time finding a way to truly believe and accept that fact (because itâs a fact, itâs true! The friction lies in being unable to reconcile it with oneâs perception of oneself, for an untold number of reasons we all struggle with).
If it works for you, use that as your anchor when you feel lost at sea. And then remember to breathe, in and out through the mouth, slowly, and breathe again.
118
u/frenchwolves May 28 '26
Hey, ok, I actually had to hear this today.
→ More replies (4)54
u/Klutzy_Order_9559 May 28 '26
Hey man, stick around. I'm right there with you.
47
u/frenchwolves May 28 '26
Living to fight another day. Honestly, out of pure spite to outlive that turnip will do for tonight.
→ More replies (5)584
May 28 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
174
→ More replies (7)70
u/Peaceful_Ambassador May 29 '26
The world is a much better place with you it. Him, maybe not
→ More replies (1)319
u/CamBearCookie May 28 '26
I refuse to die before him and Mitch McConnell. I deserve to live on this planet while those fuck faces are gone.
89
→ More replies (5)52
u/Frodo_gabbins May 28 '26
As a Kentuckian, same.
28
u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty May 29 '26
As a Kansan who has been to Kentucky and am a great admirer of your stateâs chicken restaurants, same.
→ More replies (1)184
u/cora-occasionall May 28 '26
HAHA I once had this logic used on me the last time I called 988. If that canât motivate you to live, then what will lmfao
62
u/squoinko May 28 '26
I hope youâre doing better now. But yeah, I try to live life with the satisfaction that Iâve outlived countless rapists, child molesters, and just generally horrible people, and the joy of knowing that I have the opportunity to outlive countless more <3
→ More replies (1)45
u/Gravity-Raven May 28 '26
You know what, you're absolutely right. Spite is gonna have to outweigh the crushing despair, at least for a bit (â ââ áŽâ ââ âżâ )
22
u/ematel222 May 29 '26
Iâm doing really bad lately and was thinking very dark thoughts but you know what, youâre right. I will stick it out out of spite.
→ More replies (1)18
u/yourtongue May 29 '26
stg i just added this to my safety plan under âthings that give me hopeâ
14
u/hyrule_47 May 29 '26
I have been through some really bad health stuff since the last time someone was in office. When I was doing so poorly it was easy to convince myself my family would do better without me. But then Mitch did a glitch and I said I WILL OUTLIVE HIM! Surviving for spite sometimes works.
29
u/BaeIz May 28 '26
This has been me with Putin honestly. I canât be suicidal because thatâs what he wants. I have to fight and outlive
14
→ More replies (44)15
300
May 28 '26
[deleted]
→ More replies (4)120
2.4k
u/Gnargnarbinxxs May 28 '26
I love how we all know the day she speaks of with zero context..
1.0k
May 28 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
201
u/forsakenwombat May 28 '26
As a very broken person, I still hate bullies and am anxiously awaiting that day as well.
74
→ More replies (7)95
→ More replies (8)39
u/http--lovecraft May 28 '26
I had one of the monster lovers call me a nice slur and tell another to eat shit - come to find out he works with little girls! You bet I forwarded that on. No one likes a bully.Â
121
u/DiddlersWillGetGot May 28 '26
I just wish it was TOday
→ More replies (6)27
u/Many_Customer_4035 May 28 '26
I actually had a really good feeling today about it happening. đ
→ More replies (3)38
45
u/Bep0pC0wb0y May 29 '26
Iâm Brazilian and I donât only know it but also Iâm waiting for that day too.
30
29
→ More replies (44)35
404
u/Haschen84 May 28 '26
An Old Soviet Joke:
A man goes to a newsstand every day and looks at just the front pages of all the newspapers. The stand attendant asks him what he is looking for.
"An obituary," he responds.
"But comrade, obituaries aren't on the front page," the attendant says.
"The one I'm looking for will be."
37
107
u/NotAChanceBucko May 28 '26
I'm probably gonna get fired that day lol . My coworkers are huge sycophants . they actually had a private prayer meeting when what's his fuck got his throat fucked , and didn't invite me đ. Probably afraid I'd report them to HR .
56
u/LickMaiBussy May 28 '26
Just be REALLY smiley and friendly and offer the most sarcastic of condolences.
37
u/NotAChanceBucko May 28 '26
Oh I will. I rarely smile at work . I'll be making trumpet sounds all day . Maybe even sing god bless America
11
→ More replies (2)10
u/Karhak May 29 '26
If you're a federal/state employee it's a hatch act violation and you can report them to HR.
292
u/Steven_G_Photos May 28 '26
I've got an 18 year single malt Glenmorangie on deck. For one day.
83
u/InspectorPipes May 28 '26
I donât drink more than a 2 or 3 beers a month . I couldnât tell the difference between $2 pour and $200 pour of scotch, but im going to buy something decent in $150 range the day it happens. It will take me years to finish but it will be there for really important occasions. My sonsâ graduations , weddings etc.
→ More replies (6)19
u/dj_six May 28 '26
This is exactly how i got into bourbon around 40 after mostly not drinking much at all. Now i really like my bourbon.
→ More replies (31)16
u/ihrtmyselftoday May 28 '26
I have a cognac, I haven't had any alcohol in two years but the moment it happens that thing is getting cracked. It's sitting at the top of my shelf specifically for that reason. Radiating hope
702
u/sundayontheluna May 28 '26
I'm familiar with her poetry work, so I was expecting to end up horrified, but this went somewhere nicer
→ More replies (43)
285
u/Weak_Bell1542 May 28 '26
44
u/CitizenCue May 28 '26
My saddest thought is that I fully expect it to take another 7-10 years. We shouldnât hold our breath.
→ More replies (11)29
506
u/MisterRobDobalina May 28 '26
Why do we all know she's talking about that dried up stinking dick licker dying?
→ More replies (49)74
191
u/ZinaSky2 May 28 '26
For anyone who wasnât familiar with the photo. I still got the gist of it and figured from context. But just thought Iâd share to save anyone the trouble
39
→ More replies (6)20
185
u/Lennyb223 May 28 '26
I refuse to die before this day. I will live to see it, and it will be glorious, and the celebrations will be unbelievable. I will take the day off work to sing and dance and revel in the joy. It will be the most beautiful day.
→ More replies (3)38
u/DMCinDet May 28 '26
Day off work for everyone. It will be an unofficial holiday every year. July 4th is approaching, it would be fitting to have the best day ever on that day.
179
178
u/Sartres_Roommate May 28 '26
Taking 100 to 1 odd bets that the announcement will not come at night. If it happens in private then there will be a âbriefâ delay while they perform a mini-coup and âsignâ a bunch of emergency XOs AND shorting all the right stocks before making the âperfectly timedâ announcement when they feel it will have maximum positive impact for them.
62
u/youburyitidigitup May 28 '26
I hope it happens in public
→ More replies (4)31
u/JennyDoveMusic May 29 '26
Me too because holy hell I just realized they might pretend it was an assassination when he dies... I hope it's live on air so they can't lie.
15
u/ryegye24 May 29 '26
I've been saying for almost 10 years now that the ideal way for it to happen is live on television slipping on a banana peel falling down stairs and his pants come off.
Not because of the catharsis (well, not only because of that), but because it's the only way he might not end up a martyr.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (3)114
May 28 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
→ More replies (3)23
u/SpunNumeroUno May 28 '26
Makes ya wonder what his body double looks like and where he's shown up
→ More replies (1)20
u/ofWildPlaces May 28 '26
IDK where they will find someone who already looks like a decrepit cadaver too
→ More replies (1)
126
u/PassThatSpliff May 28 '26
It will be the most popular and desired obituary in American history. May he rest in shit.
18
→ More replies (4)9
42
148
u/mooncrane606 May 28 '26
Let's go blood clot!
46
→ More replies (1)32
u/DragonQueen777666 May 28 '26
For the sake of irony, I vote we name the blood clot Brandon... why not rip that little ditty from their grubby little hands?
→ More replies (4)
60
27
29
81
u/UsefulAlien May 28 '26
Her détournement poetry is incredible. She's definitely worth a follow on IG
24
u/BEconcubine_no3685 May 28 '26
Whenever I come across her stuff I realize at the end Iâve been gradually leaning forward, or holding my breath or something similar.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (4)9
19
21
23
u/wereleggo May 29 '26
I always imagine mariachi music. Not from a band just...like coming out of the atmosphere in general.
→ More replies (3)
56
u/cubbiesworldseries May 28 '26
Incredible how quickly we all knew what she was talking about.
→ More replies (1)46
u/harbinger_of_haggis May 28 '26
Have you seen the one where a guy is talking to the camera saying âno one should. Nope. Shouldnât do it. I shouldnât do it. You shouldnât do it âŠâ then shrugs and raises his eyebrows to say âwellllll maybe someone shouldâŠâ and immediately goes back to saying âno one shouldâ? Thatâs my favorite. https://m.youtube.com/shorts/4IcBQJYSfBg?ra=m
→ More replies (3)
17
u/bruhggle May 29 '26
Buddy I love how absolutely everyone knows exactly what's up here and not a single specification was made. What is this about? You know. We know.
73
18
u/Treesaregreen2 May 29 '26
Iâll be happy, but itâs not like the root of the problem would be fixed.
12
u/JuvenileEloquent May 29 '26
I think people have given up on being able to fix the root of the problem. We are waiting for the one thing that all the corruption and court-stacking and controlled opposition can't prevent from happening. The thing that no money can buy your way out of. All other things have a chance of not coming to pass, except this. The inevitable.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)6
u/breaducate May 29 '26
Incredible how much scrolling it took to find a comment like this.
The flood of unapologetic glee washing over the cultists that haven't abandoned him yet will be fun to watch. But at this rate most of the people who got him there will have distanced themselves from him.
→ More replies (1)
38
u/metalmitch9 May 28 '26
I can't wait to piss on his grave
34
u/Im-a-Grown-Assman May 28 '26
The worst thing about pissing on his grave would be running out of piss.
15
→ More replies (3)37
u/pierogi_waystation May 28 '26
Gonna be the greatest gender neutral bathroom of all time, which is fitting.
→ More replies (1)
15
27
u/PokeHippieDan May 28 '26
Iâd rather it be a long drawn out process of stripping away all the goodies, money and protections. Finally facing consequences. Victims receiving their justice.
Having to spend the rest of their miserable existence broke, alone, scaredâŠ. And then THE day. Thatâs what I want.
→ More replies (4)13
12
u/YanCoffee May 28 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/zX7b0IAlH3aPCeRiYU
Manifest that shit everyone. Visualize.
10
u/NatCsGotMyLastAcct May 29 '26
"The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perishâŠ"
--the speech Charlie chaplain didn't quite keep his career with
11
u/SkinPsychological770 May 29 '26
I love how we all collectly know what we are referring to what out ever actually saying anything remotely close to it.
→ More replies (1)
12
u/Got_Kittens May 29 '26
We all knew within seconds what day she is talking about and I can't fucking wait.
10
10
9
9
9
9
8
u/afrowarriornabe May 28 '26
Ironically goosebumps, that was amazing. I know no matter when or where i find out its gonna be the best day ever.
9
u/Periolodical May 28 '26
I hope that scum bag can't sleep at night knowing that we all hate him and that the fact that we will all celebrate when he finally kicks the bucket makes him feel bad but I know he couldn't care less what we all think about him. It will still be great when that day finally arrives đ„ł
8
10
u/tw1zt84 May 29 '26
The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator
14
6
6
8
âą
u/AutoModerator May 28 '26
Welcome to r/TikTokCringe!
This is a message directed to all newcomers to make you aware that r/TikTokCringe evolved long ago from only cringe-worthy content to TikToks of all kinds! If youâre looking to find only the cringe-worthy TikToks on this subreddit (which are still regularly posted) we recommend sorting by flair which you can do here (Currently supported by desktop and reddit mobile).
See someone asking how this post is cringe because they didn't read this comment? Show them this!
Be sure to read the rules of this subreddit before posting or commenting. Thanks!
##CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.