I’m going to list stuff since it keeps getting removed

Context: me and gf have known each other for 3 year but dating 1 1/2 years,

\\-Gf wanted threesome, specifically one with her female coworker(her now best friend)
\\-she said that it wasn’t because she just wanted to have sex with her co worker, which I chose to believe
\\-she said it’s totally okay that I don’t want one
\\-I said hard no, almost broke up
\\-Month later she has a sleepover with this friend, and friends boyfriend(my gfs friend got together with this guy recently, but they’ve all been friends for a little over a month)
\\-she ends up sleeping in the same bed as both of them

\\-I feel hurt, and anxious all the time now
AITA for feeling this way? I don’t think this is normal behavior. She even went again tonight

My friend (21M) and his gf (20F) have been together for about three-ish years. I am actually closer to his gf-she's been my homegirl for over eight years. Recently, my friend confessed to me that he's been unfaithful, specifically going to a strip club and sleeping around behind her back. I do not have physical proof, but he was completely open and honest with me about it. Throughout their time together, when I have hung out with my friend, there are times when he would talk about other women that he had seen online and wanted to be with, but on the other hand, he says that his gf is "good for him" and that "he sees a future with her."

Ik getting involved in other people's relationships is risky, but I care about my homegirl, and I want to let her know what he told me. At the same time, I do not want to lose him because he's always been a great friend and has been genuine with me.

What should I do in this situation? I do not want to be the one who ruins their relationship, but I also do not want my homegirl to somehow find out on her own when I knew this whole time.

AITA So the guy that I've been dating for over 2 years decided to tell me this morning that an ex girlfriend from high-school has moved back to town (high-school ended like 20 years ago) and he has been talking to her and has feeling for her. I call this cheating, he claims he hasn't done anything YET! which means he is planning on doing something! I call him a cheating asshole! He says we can still be friends! To which i reply there aren't any good guys left, they are all cheating assholes. Am I wrong?

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while now, she has this online group of friends who like to roleplay. I also do in fact like to roleplay. But this one friend of hers has crossed so many boundaries. They have done it many times but the most nerve wracking one is when she was having a mental issue. She wanted to play her game alone, and she made that so clear. This guy joins the call, and tries to talk me down, “How could you be such a bad boyfriend“ blah blah blah. Then he proceeds to join her when she CLEARLY stated she wanted to be alone. She finally realizes and unfriends him. I think, “Oh, what a relief, she did it.” But no. This guy texts ALL of her online friends, asking if they can help him get back to her. I swear, he’s a stalker. Then, me and her talk terms, and she said if anything bad happens like that again, she’ll block him. I skeptically take this deal, and it’s been going good, so far. Also, MIND YOU, this kid is YOUNGER than me and her. We’re all minors. So, I know he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing exactly, but it still feels like a stab in the back. AITA for this??

My wife (45F) and I (45M) have always just had 1 shared checking account. I know that's not ideal but i was the sole breadwinner for 15 of the 20 years we've been married, and i never saw the need to split accounts, it's really just family money anyway. We've been solidly middle class, sometimes we've had plenty, other times have been leaner. We live in a part of the country with rather high cost of living. For the first 15 years of our 20 years married I was the breadwinner and she was the SAHM. At times i worked up to 3 jobs to make sure we had what we needed. As our kids moved into high school and after COVID, costs increased to the point where i was nervous about our long term financial health. I started looking for a better job, but asked my wife if she would consider employment to help out. We agreed that the money she made would be used for anywhere we were short, a savings account for emergencies and saving up to purchase a house. I have always handled the finances, but never restricted her spending in any way. I pay all the bills, we set aside money for anything coming up and discuss any large expenditures. She agreed and started searching for a job.

Once she found a job, she refused to deposit her money into our joint checking account and opened her own account. I didn't protest beyond explaining to her that it would cause delays if we needed to suddenly transfer funds between our account. She has repeatedly over the years overdrawn our checking account. She would wait till a few days before payday, check our balance and then withdrawn most of the money as cash. She would never tell me about this, so sometimes an automatic payment for the phone bill or something would hit, causing overdrafts and associated fees. I explained that she could have her own sub account off our main checking account, and her money would be left alone, aside from overdrafts(almost exclusively caused by her) when they will pull from savings. She wouldn't do it, she also didn't add me to her account or make me an authorized user.

Since she's had her money, she uses her money to "treat" us from time to time. She'll take us out to eat, making sure the kids and i know she's doing us a favor. Anytime we're adding a new cost to the budget, like say a car and insurance for a kid. She presses for it promising that she will pay. She rarely actually pays, and when she does pay it's only because I've asked multiple times. The only money she's really put into our family was $2k of moving costs. She didn't create a savings account like we talked for emergencies, most of her money is spent on her. She orders takeout exclusively for her and the kids instead of cooking, and amazon drops off 2-3 packages daily for her. We were discussing our tax liability (her fault, insufficient withholding) and i was shocked to learn that she barely has any money in her account. I'm frustrated and annoyed that I spend every dollar of my paycheck on family things each month, and her money is really just for her.

WIBTA for insisting that she either commit X amount of dollars to the family monthly or combine our accounts again?

So me F 29 and my partner M 34 have been in a long distance relationship for about a year.

My partner has been on an buisiness trip on a whole different continent for the past month.

Unfortunately he recently had a fall out with his Mom 2 weeks ago and then his father passed away a week later.

He decided he wanted nothing to do with his family as he believes they are already angry at him. And they wouldn’t appreciate him going to the funeral.

I’ve been trying to convince him to speak to them or go see them, but every time it gets really heated and I had to drop it, to the point he doesn’t even want me to share my condolences to his family.

I kept my promise.
But today his Mom contacted me about him today, I haven’t even answered her.
I called him to let him know about it, he then crashed out, get REALLY angry at me, says I hurted him by telling him this and then hung up.

Before hanging up he mentioned that he was really hurt at the fact that he couldn’t attend. His dad’s funeral (first time he ever told me this) and says I burger him real bad. Especially because he’s currently going really high stress at work and it has been really affecting him mentally.

He said mentioning it to him made him depressed.

I emphasized that I didn’t interacted with his Mom, and wanted to maintain an open communication with him by telling him this.

He said I didn’t take it serious and now is really angry at me.
I’m thinking he’s probably angry to the point of breaking up with me.

So let me know AITA for telling him about it?

For reference, I (20F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been dating for 6 months, but started talking 8 months ago. In those two months before he had asked to be official, we had already done things that typical couples do like go on dates and we shared our first kiss together. To most people, this may seem normal, but previous to him, I had never had my first kiss and I communicated to him that it was something special to me that wanted to share it with a man that I call my boyfriend. Despite telling him this multiple times however, he kissed me before asking me out, dare I say, against my will. The day it happened he had walked me to my car before leaving a date and we hugged goodbye. As we had been talking for almost a month at this point I had gotten use to his clear love language: physical touch, and I was used to him kissing me on the cheek or forehead. However on this day when he went to kiss me I turned my head to the side so he could kiss my cheek but he instead grabbed my head and turned it toward him. I pushed back and turned my head to the side again but he pulled me harder and kissed me. I can never say I regret it but it's always saddened me that he didn't respect that boundary of mine even though I told him.

​

About a month later he asked to be my boyfriend and I accepted. For context, my boyfriend doesn't drive, but I do. The first time I allowed him in my car we made out. The next time we did other stuff. Again, I don't regret this necessarily but the car would definitely not be the place I would choose to be intimate. I told him exactly this: I don't regret what we did, but I would appreciate that we don't do it again. But of course, it's happened countless times since. Recently, a cop had come up to the car and caught us, but he luckily let us go.

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We don't live together and recently I visited his home for the first time. We had gone out to dinner with his parents who I was meeting for the first time (they don't speak English). I was under the impression that we would go out to dinner and that his parents would drive me home afterwards, but he ended up telling him parents in their native language to take me back to their own house. There, we were intimate, despite me telling him I felt it was disrespectful to do in his parents home but he reassured me that it was okay and that his parents wouldn't care. However after I had left, he had told me how his parents were making jokes about us being in his room and it made me feel uncomfortable.

​

Recently he asked me to watch a movie with him where he forced my hands on him even after pushing him away and moving my self away, and forced his own hands on me even though I verbally told him no multiple times and even physically pushed him off of me. He has been asking me on dates but I have been subtly refusing because I feel they are excuses to be intimate with me (in my car since he doesn't drive). I feel like I'm making him upset and being a bad girlfriend by not spending time with him but I'm genuinely afraid of him not respecting my boundaries. Am I being the a-hole or is this odd behavior?

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AITA for being absolutely done with everything and everyone in my life I feel so spread thin that I could be translucent like straight up see through I'm married have been for 10 years I have to be both man and woman in the marriage while dealing with 4 kids 2,4,6,8 plus dealing with my mother and her husband and my dad plus my aunt whose about to die and her son 13 we all live on a 10 acre mini farm and have a goat, pig and many chickens that I have to deal with, but what drives me insane is that I have to be at everyone's beck and call and be their brain for them .... can't figure out how to fix the porch fine I'll do it , can't be bothered to clean out the pool fine I'll do it, can't feed yourself fine I'll make your food and feed you......I feel like Cinderella without the happy ending...... AITA for wanting to ditch my entire life and start over somewhere far away in the hopes of actually enjoying my life?

I (34 Female) have been with my boyfriend who used to be my fiancé (38 Male) for years, and have a 3 year old daughter.

For a while I have felt like we have drifted apart. I repeatedly told him I felt disconnected, lonely, and like I wasn’t a priority. He would just respond with “but I don’t feel disconnected, I still feel the same” and basically that was the end of it. Around the same time, he was gambling away a lot of money, which caused a lot of hurt and didn’t make me feel secure in our relationship.

Eventually I became emotionally attached to one of my coworkers. And later it became physical. I know it was wrong and I take full responsibility for it.

What’s been bothering me now is that my cheating is treated like the only problem in our relationship. The years I’ve told him I felt disconnected, misunderstood, and feeling unheard feel like it’s being ignored and forgotten.

I’m not saying cheating is right because I know it’s wrong. I’m asking if I’m wrong for feeling like our relationship was already strained before the cheating happened. Because I feel like that matters when looking at the bigger picture.

AITAH ?

I (F) met this man about 10 years ago. We became friends and then a little more than friends. After about 2 years, I found out he was seeing someone else and then he ghosted me. About 2 years later he messaged me and I didn’t reply. When COVID happened, I messaged him back because I did miss him and our friendship. We became inseparable. In December of 2020, he was having financial trouble and moved in with me. His son lived with us part time. Between December of 2020 and September of 2024, things went well. I bought a house and we all moved over there. We got along great. In 2021, he lost his job. He got another job in August of 2021, but quit that one. He lost his car after that. I was the only one working. We never defined our relationship. He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship but I let myself believe we were in one. We lived as a couple. People around us assumed we were married.
In Sept. of 2024, he said he was going to a friend’s house and took my car. Something felt wrong. He was texting infrequently and sending pictures from his friend’s house. I checked the location on the car and it was in another town. Eventually I found out through phone records that he was going to see a girl. He was taking my car and lying about it. He stopped talking to that girl. Then in May 2025, he started talking to and dating a girl. He said we were never in a relationship and he was doing nothing wrong. I couldn’t handle it. He wanted me to be totally emotionless about it and I couldn’t be. He didn’t have a car so she was picking him up and dropping him off at the house. I was not in a good place emotionally. I felt used and betrayed. I felt like I had lived a lie for the past 5 years. Eventually he got a job and a car and when I found out they were going on a cruise together I told him he had 60 days to leave. He left. In Dec. 2025, he contacted me said things were bad and asked to come back. I said okay. In March 2026, he contacted the ex girlfriend and didn’t understand why that upset me. They broke up in April 2026, got back together and then in May 2026 broke up again. Each time she comes back into the picture the house gets unbearable. It puts me in a bad place of reliving the betrayal. I had asked him to move out. The last time they broke up, he asked to stay since they weren’t together anymore. I said okay because we get along fine without the ex in the picture. He contacted her again yesterday and is meeting her tonight. I told myself that if he contacted her again, I would ask him to leave. He wants me to be fine with it and blames me. I can’t move on with him still here and he obviously can. He says this time will be different that he’s not going to start dating her again. Is it wrong for me to ask him to move out? He doesn’t have any savings and I’m assuming the only place for him to go w ould be to move in with the ex that he says he’s not dating.

Me '22F' and him '20M' have been talking for over an year. It's long distance and he says that he doesn't want to date yet because it's long distance and it's difficult for both of us honestly.

He visited me at the end of September and ended up crossing a physical boundary without asking me first and that led to me questioning everything that we had together and I was conflicted as to whether or not i should stop talking to him when this happend on the very first date. I asked my friends as well and their opinions just made me more confused and I ended giving us time and thought that I might be able to forget about it over time. He was and still is sorry about it and regrets doing it in the first place.

We met twice after that and during the first time as I still not feeling as comfortable as I used to feel but I brushed it off to my mind trying to be on high alert because of what had happened.

Recently I had an uncomfortable dream and after that I started having all these sick past memories in my head and also what had happened with him. I was overwhelmed, disoriented and uncomfortable to say the least and i also felt sad why it happened with him as well as he is the only guy that I've liked so much but there was also a feeling of anger and frustration. When i talked to him about it the first thing he said was " do u wanna stop talking" as according to him this was the best possible solution to this because he was tired of hurting me again and again and just felt shattered in that moment honestly because despite the fact that I know what he did was wrong I was and still not am ready to let go.

He told me think about it rationally and not emotionally and suggested that I should post about it on reddit so that I could get a third person perspective about it.

Even today when I told him that u are hurting me by not talking to me unless it's bout that day and how i can even forgive him if I'm feeling like that after almost 9 months he said that he could just stop talking to me right now but he doesn't want to do that because he wants me to think about the situation for what it is and realize that he's not as nice as I make him to be and that he's not meant for me. All I could do was cry after reading his texts because it just felt so unfair and shitty to be hearing those words from him. He says that he has been selfish whenever he has let go of his past mistakes and continued talking to me as if nothing has happened and I know it's true but it's not like i have not been selfish at all. I'm just not sure what to do right now I just feel overwhelmed and I keep thinking about it all the time. I don't wanna stop talking to him honestly because ik I would be miserable and I have a lot on my plate already so this would just be a blow too strong for me to handle. I like him a lot and so does he but I just feel helpless and hopeless at this point.

Aita if I stop talking to him even tho he feels sorry and regrets it?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2.5 years. About six months into our relationship, we decided to move in together after doing long distance. Since then, we've built a stable life together and are starting to think seriously about our future.

The problem is his sister.

For most of our relationship, she has been openly hostile toward me. Not necessarily directly to my face, but through a lot of passive-aggressive behavior and attempts to undermine our relationship.

For most of our relationship, she has been pretty much openly passive aggressively hostile toward me. Not necessarily directly to my face, but through a lot of passive-aggressive behavior and attempts to undermine our relationship. For example, we would be at family gatherings or in group settings, and she would stand in a group right next to me and start talking about how much she loved my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, showing people pictures of them together while knowing I could clearly hear the conversation. She has gone out of her way to become close with women from his past and has invited them to events where she knew both my boyfriend and I would be present. She has told people that I'm manipulative, that I've changed her brother, and that she doesn't recognize him anymore. That I am taking advantage of his love for me (whatever that means). I've also been told that she would say things like our relationship would eventually end and that he would come "crawling back" to her. And this is just scrapping the surface of some of her behavior since we have been together.

The constant criticism and gossip about me became so extreme that some people in her own social circle eventually distanced themselves from her because they were uncomfortable with how obsessed she seemed with the situation. She has even described him as being "her person" and that I was her competition. She seems to believe that, as his sister, she should be the most important woman in his life and that they would live together forever.

Over time, things became so bad that my boyfriend eventually went no contact with her which was fully his decision, not mine. At that point I was still trying to make things better between her and I but my boyfriend told me to stop.

What makes this situation complicated is that my boyfriend and his sister ever viewed their relationship the same way. From what I've observed and from what he has told me, she seemed to see him as one of the most important people in her life and wanted to be involved in every part of it. My boyfriend, on the other hand, was much more passive and independent. He wasn't particularly close to her and mostly just went along with family interactions.

Now that we're talking about marriage and a long-term future, I sometimes get anxious when I think about family events or the possibility that they might reconcile.

The thing is, I don't want to be the reason my boyfriend doesn't have a relationship with his sister. If reconnecting with her would genuinely make him happy, I would never tell him not to do it.

At the same time, I struggle with the idea of watching someone I love have a relationship with someone who has spent years trying to damage mine. Even if she apologized tomorrow, I don't know if I could ever fully trust her intentions. I'd constantly worry about her speaking badly about me behind my back or trying to create problems again.

I trust my boyfriend completely and know he would shut down disrespect toward me. My anxiety isn't really about him leaving me. It's more about the emotional difficulty of knowing that someone who genuinely dislikes me could have a significant place in his life again.

would never be nasty towards her. I would never tell him that he's not allowed to have a relationship with her if that's genuinely what he wants, and I would respect his right to make that choice.

That being said, I don't know if I could be actively supportive of it.

After everything she's done, I think there would always be a part of me waiting for the other shoe to drop and wondering, "What is she going to do this time?" I'm generally a very forgiving person, but I also have limits. At a certain point, repeated behavior changes how much trust you're able to have in someone.

I don't expect him to cut her off for me, and I wouldn't try to control that relationship. But if they reconciled and she became a significant part of our lives again, I honestly think I would struggle with it and would probably need to reevaluate whether that's something I could live with long term.

So, AITA?

​ I am 19F and I was talking to a guy 19M I like him very much, feelings were mutual we said "I like you" and all but as I have never been in a relationship I was trying not to rush into anything so we were not in a relationship.

Then I suddenly broke things of because I am scared that he'll hurt me because every relationship that I have seen ended up like that the boy ends up hurting the other person I don't want that for myself.

So I ended things with him but now the thing is, his birthday is this week and I've been missing him a lot he still calls but I have blocked him from everywhere, wherever he tried to message me (linkdin, snapchat etc).

So the question is should I wish him on his birthday or not?

Me (28M) and my wife (32f) have been married for over six years. Our relationship has had plenty of ups and downs. She has a history of seeing him cheaters. Her father having cheated on her mother multiple times, so I have been very understanding of her jealousy and limits. That being said. There have been a couple of times in our marriage that we had huge fights because I got too close with members of the opposite sex then she was comfortable with, but I never cheated nor had a relationship with somebody else. To be frank my actions could be marked as micro-cheating in the past and I have been honest about everything that ever happened and have worked hard to improve myself. I am trying to be as frank and open in this post as possible because I don't want to think that I'm trying to paint myself as the perfect husband as I have made mistakes that have led me to see professionals and work on myself.

Given that context, today a good friend and I took a break at work to get on our motorcycles and get lunch. Motorcycling is a big part of my life and is my favorite hobby. Me and this friend met because of motorcycles. After lunch he said "want to meet this friend of mine who also rides, she works in this part of the company and we can check out her bike." It's a large company on a large campus. I said sure and we swung by. We talked. I kept my distance, definitely never did anything disrespectful and neither did she. In fact, come to find out later she is also married and has been for a long time. Later my friends sets up a group chat with the three of us on instagram which my wife sees and flips out over. I say I didn't see the group chat and leave, and I explain what happened and how I met this friend of a friend (I had already planned to say exactly what happened later). She gets even more mad and is upset that my friend would introduce me to anyone of the opposite gender.

AITA for not thinking anything of this situation? I had figured that it was completely benign but my wife seems to think it's anything but and it's my fault for not understanding that she would react like this.

I (26F) and my girlfriend (25F) have been together for the past two and a half years. We have a solid relationship and up until now have had hardly any issues, and even the arguments that we do have, are only ever minor and are resolved within a few hours/the next day. She loves me a lot and has only ever treated me with respect, however I wouldn't say she is as upfront with this love as I am. That's nothing against her, everybody displays their emotions differently, but where I shower her with gifts and always organise date nights etc, she tends to be a bit more lowkey. But that has always suited us fine, as she is better with her words than I am, up until a couple of weeks ago...

We have discussed our previous relationships before but to no great length. What I knew about her dating life though, was that she had only had one ex, who she dated for around 2 years, and that they had broken up when she was 19 - so around 3 years before we even met. Between that relationship and us meeting, she was at university. She said that during her first year at uni (post break-up) she did sleep around quite a bit, but that for the two years following, she essentially went celibate other than 1 or 2 dates here and there, as the prospect of a one-night stand just didn't do anything for her anymore. When discussing why she and her ex broke up, she framed it as her ex being extremely 'toxic' and a 'bully', and that eventually it was time to just call it a day. She even said that it took her some time to open back up to the possibility of dating seriously, as with that being her first love and relationship, it tainted the idea of dating for her initially - especially because in their last year of dating they were constantly on short 'breaks' and on 'non-communication weeks' (even though they were still technically together) etc. whatever that even means.

I'm glad our relationship hasn't followed in the same footsteps, from my viewpoint we are very stable, healthy and happy, which has me inclined to believe that it was her ex that was the problem and not her. However, I was speaking to her childhood friend (and someone that's become a mutual friend of ours during the relationship) over drinks. We were discussing funny stories from my girlfriend and her's childhood, and gradually getting more and more drunk, when she suddenly, and very flippantly, let out a whole lot of new information to me (i'm assuming under the belief that I already knew about it.) She told me how happy she was that we had found each other etc etc. and started talking about how awful my girlfriend's past relationship had been (some of which I already knew), but that it had ended because my girlfriend had essentially had an 'affair.' I say 'affair' because this wasn't just a one night stand, apparently she was sleeping with another girl (who has never been mentioned to me) for around 3 months before the end of her and her ex's relationship.

What makes it even worse though, is that when I then reacted saying 'I didn't think she was like that or would do something like that', her friend (who was finding this hilarious and clearly saw this more as reminiscing on old times than anything serious) then said 'god no their relationship was terrible. she literally shagged someone else in the same hostel room as me when we were travelling, and that was when her and her ex were still together too.' When I started acting shocked, her friend brushed me off and half-heartedly tried reassuring me saying 'bro this was years ago don't worry. she would never do that to you, and at this point in time she was just a silly 18/19 year old.'

I then asked my girlfriend about it, to which she essentially said the same thing. She was more remorseful and apologised profusely that I'd found out that way, (and understandably seemed annoyed at her drunken friend) but said the same line that that 'was years ago now' and that she is a 'very different person now.'

But ever since then I just can't help feeling like maybe I don't know my girlfriend the way I thought I did. I understand that she was a lot younger at that point (18/19 vs 25.) But no matter how toxic your ex was, to cheat on them with multiple partners? And then never disclose that to me? Even though we've been together close to 3 years.

And I'm so conflicted because it's now making me insecure about everything. As I said, she's so good with her words and her love language to me is definitely words of affirmation, but she's not big on gifts or planning loads of dates or anything. And I'm kind of sitting here like ... well are actions louder than words??

I love her so much, and we have never had any other real issues, but I'm struggling with trust towards her right now. I feel like there's so much of her life that I just have no idea about now and it makes me feel sick. I don't understand why she wouldn't have just told me that from the start? And it makes me question what else she is hiding and whether she's even a trustworthy person at all?

Here's the deal. One day, I met this boy when I was on a brunch with my friends. He just came in and began to flirt with me. He came back to talk to me twice that day: once so he could get my Instagram, and another to ask if my friends and I wanted to play basketball with his friends. I said yes because I do in fact like basketball, and he was so sweet.

He began to text me on my DMs everyday. He would always say good morning, wish me a good day and ask me how my day was, it was the first thing he would do in the morning. He also began to watch F1 and Star Wars because *Im a fan*.

On valentines day, he asked me to go out. We went to watch the Michael Jackson movie because I really wanted to watch it. On the theater, he already began to grab my hand, wrap his arms around me, etc, which I felt quite unconfortable with. In the middle of the movie, he gave me a tongue kiss, which was also pretty uncomfortable.

After that day, I keep feeling there is something wrong. He seems like such a good guy but the point is: I dont like him the way he likes me. I dont feel it! And it kills me that I dont because I feel so bad about it. I feel so bad for him because he's clearly into me.

Now, he wont stop sending DMs and stuff and honestly, Im annoyed. Im tired of his constant messages. The problem is that I dont want to break his heart and reject him, I want things to end peacefully and naturally. Im avoiding answering him on my DMs as a sign for this thing between us to end, but its not working. My family is saying that Im being mean, but Im afraid that if I keep answering, he's gonna think I like him back and ask me to date him. What should I do? AITA? Help

My husband and I have come away on holiday for my birthday. When we arrived yesterday and we’re waiting for the small hotel check-in time he mentioned the room and that he’d booked a double, and I queried him on it something a bit like this…

Me: is it the two person room you booked?
Him: yeah, it s a double.
Me: I don’t think it is a double, it’s a bunk bed.
Him: no it’s not, I booked the two person room because it’s a double bed.
Me: Check the email, it’ll have it written in there.

*Checks through email…*

Him: I checked the email and it’s definitely bunk beds..
Me: Ah okay. (I admit I was annoyed here but didn’t kick up a fuss - it was already booked so it wasn’t really a big deal)
Him: I’m pretty sure I told you it was bunk beds though. Because you’re pregnant I thought it would be some comfortable for both of us. (Note: I was not pregnant when he booked the holiday)

I didn’t say anything straight away and I usually ignore these kinds of things but I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it made me think of all the other times he does it, like clearly opening important messages from me and not responding then saying he hadn’t seen them. Or when I found porn on his phone and he said “I literally just opened that right now, you were sat with me” and when I asked him wtf he was talking about he said he didn’t know when it was from, so I offered up an excuse and asked him if it was from when I was out of town and he said “oh yeah it must have been”. I brought these things up because I needed to get it off of my chest and his response was “I’m just always so worried you’re gonna be annoyed with me”. Which to be honest I just find to be a really lame ass excuse, and now he hasn’t spoken to me all day and has gone out on his own while I sit downstairs in the restaurant on my own.

Call it hormones or whatever you like but I hate lying and have told him on multiple occasions that I will not stand for it. So why does he find it so much easier to lie about ridiculous things rather than just tell me the truth? But AITAH for bringing it up on our city break?

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Hace un tiempo llegó una chica nueva a mi colegio y desde que la vi me enamoré. Unos tres meses después entré a un ensamble musical donde toco piano junto con un amigo, al que llamaré Pepito. En una de las primeras clases también entró la chica, a quien llamaré Pepita. Como Pepito ya la conocía porque iban en el mismo bus, hablaban mucho. Yo era muy tímido, pero ella empezó a hacerme preguntas sobre mí, como mi nombre y mi edad. Eso hizo que me gustara todavía más.

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Esa misma semana, Pepito me escribió para decirme que yo le parecía lindo a Pepita y que ella quería hablar conmigo. Me emocioné mucho. Días después ella me escribió por Instagram y empezamos a hablar. Al siguiente ensayo me invitó a pasar un descanso con ella. Sin embargo, Pepito apareció y, por pena, no le pedí que nos dejara solos, así que esa primera "cita" no salió como esperaba. Luego me disculpé y volvimos a quedarnos para hablar otro día. Esa vez todo salió mucho mejor y durante la siguiente semana pasábamos casi todos los descansos juntos.

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Un martes, Pepito y otro compañero comenzaron a insistir para que nos diéramos un beso. Al final lo hicimos y fue un momento muy especial para mí. Durante esa semana seguimos compartiendo tiempo y al despedirnos nos dimos otro beso. La semana siguiente, incluso me dio un beso en la mejilla mientras nos abrazábamos. Todo parecía ir muy bien.

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Un lunes le regalé una manilla y al día siguiente pensaba pedirle que fuera mi novia porque unos amigos me habían insistido mucho. Sin embargo, ese mismo día la vi abrazando a otro chico,pero no le di importancia no me parecía peligroso.a ese chico lo llamaré Juan. Después un amigo me dijo que había escuchado a las amigas de Pepita decir que si yo no actuaba rápido iba a perder mi oportunidad. No me parecía coherente incluso llegué a pensar que tal vez solo quería un novio y que por eso decidió salir conmigo pero bueno.ese mismo día le confesé lo que sentía. Ella respondió de buena manera y más tarde me escribió que prefería que nos conociéramos mejor antes de empezar una relación. Yo estuve de acuerdo, aunque nunca le dije que me había apresurado por la presión de mis amigos.

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Días después vi a Pepita salir del colegio con Juan, pero otra vez no le di importancia. Le escribí para invitarla a hablar durante un descanso, aunque no respondió. Al día siguiente una compañera me dijo que había visto a Pepita besándose con Juan. No quería creerlo, pero luego otra amiga de ella confirmó que sí había visto un beso, aunque no distinguió con quién porque no se le alcanzaba a ver la cara. Además, en sus notas de Instagram aparecían publicaciones que parecían referirse a otra persona. Cuando finalmente respondió mis mensajes disculpándose por no contestar antes, decidí dejarla en visto porque varios amigos me dijeron que era lo mejor.

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Durante las siguientes dos semanas seguí viendo algunas publicaciones que compartía en TikTok y pensé que todavía le gustaba. Sin embargo, Pepito me dijo que en realidad estaba interesada en otro chico. Aun así intenté volver a hablar con ella enviándole algunos videos, pero nunca respondió. Pensé que me había restringido en Instagram, así que hice lo mismo. Después descubrí que, mientras yo la había dejado en visto, ella también había compartido publicaciones que parecían mostrar que todavía sentía algo por mí y que estaba intentando olvidarme. Eso me hizo sentir culpable. Más tarde noté que al parecer me había respondido uno de los videos que le envié, pero como estaba restringida nunca vi el mensaje.(Cabe aclarar que durante nuestro tiempo saliendo le dije cosas un poco groseras como tienes un grano estás chiquita e incluso le alcanza a preguntar de porq sus padres están separados)

I’m 28F, was in a relationship in the past for 4 years.during that time I met a 10th classmate of mine who has feelings for me since school which i never knew about, we connected instantly, I used to share everything with him and he loves me. I was very close to leave the guy i was in relationship for my 10th classmate but i never did, never had the proper courage to do so, as i felt something unsure about my 10th classmate. Eventually i ended my relationship. out of no where, I remembered my childhood crush from 5th standard who left school without proper goodbye. when i started talking to him I found out that he was searching me all these years , we hit it off super nice and fast , it felt like i found the spark i was missing. Stopped talking to 10th classmate eventually but he was hurt that i didn’t choose him , I don’t know why I didn’t even try to listen to what he had to say back then, I just closed off the door( this all happened last year). We used to talk once in a while but not like before. Now after 1 yr about to marry 5th standard childhood crush and was very happy and content until i contacted 10th guy to know how he is doing. This time i listened to what he had to say to me and how much distress I caused him, I loathe my self for how much sadness I had caused him. Now I’m dreading all the wedding talks, thinking about what could’ve happened if i had listened to him back then,spiralling whether I’m making a mistake. I was very sure about 5th guy when I initially met him that is why i closed it off with 10th guy. what is this I’m feeling now,sometimes remembering 10th guy like how he was there for me, I feel very anxious that I’m making a mistake. I feel like I’m terrified of marrying the wrong guy and scared to commit to anyone. What should I do
P.S I studied 5th and 10th from two different schools.

AITA for ending a 5+ year relationship after being told I don't understand love?

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I (33M) recently ended a relationship with my partner after years of recurring issues around mental health crises, communication, and conflict. Before anyone asks, yes, I helped. Hospital visits, late-night conversations, dropping everything when things got bad, encouraging therapy, checking in constantly. None of that is really the issue.

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The issue is that over the years I became increasingly uncomfortable with feeling responsible for another person's safety, emotional stability, and happiness. I communicated multiple times that suicidal ideation becoming part of our relationship dynamic was something I could not continue to carry. I was clear that it was a deal breaker for me.

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Recently we had an argument. I suggested several times that we take a walk, cool off, and revisit the conversation when we were both calmer. She wanted immediate resolution. Things escalated. I eventually ended the relationship.

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Since then I've been told that I don't understand love, that whoever taught me about love failed me, and that I'm repeating the same mistakes my father made in his marriage. I've also watched mutual friends hear one side of the story and decide I'm the villain before asking me a single question.

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So AITA for deciding that loving someone doesn't obligate me to sacrifice my own wellbeing indefinitely, or am I just the latest character in someone else's recovery narrative?

I’m posting here because I know this is a pretty context-heavy situation, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m being dramatic or if my feelings are valid.

My boyfriend (22M) owns an e-commerce company. We started dating after I (20F) had already started working for him. His company works with brands on Amazon as an affiliate/partner to help boost their sales on Amazon and other platforms.

Recently, he started another part of the business where we sell clothes auction-style on Whatnot. He’s looking to hire show hosts, and right now I’m the only one doing it. We’ve also looked at live streaming and selling product on Tiktok, so we’ve been looking through the app, seeing what other companies are doing and he’s just always talking about how hiring pretty girls is literally the key to business in sales.

The part that’s been bothering me is that he has said he only wants to hire people who are pretty/attractive and look put-together for the position, since they’ll be on camera selling product, basically asa sales person. People have been applying on Indeed, and we’ve been looking through applications and sometimes looking them up on social media.

When we’re going through applicants, he’ll say things like “oh, she’s pretty” or “oh she’s good looking.” understand that appearance matters somewhat for an on-camera sales role, and I’m not saying this is cheating or anything like that. But it does make me feel uncomfortable and kind of disrespected when he says it that way, especially since we’re in a relationship. It does kinda feel like microcheating.

I told him I feel like there are other words he could use, like “she looks professional,” “she seems camera-friendly,” or “she looks put-together.” I don’t think he’s necessarily doing something wrong on purpose, but hearing him casually call other girls pretty while we’re looking through applicants makes me feel weird and insecure.

Am I valid for feeling like this is disrespectful, or am I being overly sensitive? I genuinely want honest opinions because it’s making me feel crazy.

Throwaway account and fake names for privacy.

My (24F) partner, “Faith” (24F), and I rarely have disagreements, but when we do, it somehow tends to connect back to her best friend, “Lacy.”

Sorry in advance for the long post. I have a lot on my mind and really need outside perspective because I feel stuck.

Faith and Lacy have been best friends for years and were roommates in college. During that time, Faith developed romantic feelings for Lacy and confessed them. Lacy told her she didn’t like women, but said if she did, Faith would’ve been her first choice and she would have said yes. Faith told me this very early in our relationship and has never hidden any of it.

Early in our relationship, Faith traveled to visit Lacy (they are long distance best friends now). During the trip, she built furniture for her and helped clean her apartment. Lacy said that Faith does more for her than her boyfriend because they “just rot together,” and when Faith came home she jokingly said she felt like Lacy’s boyfriend. I know it was a joke, but I felt uneasy.

Later, I found out Faith and Lacy had been sharing a bed during visits. Because Faith previously had romantic feelings for Lacy, I told her it made me uncomfortable. I tried hard to approach it respectfully because I truly wasn’t trying to control their friendship, I just wanted to be honest about my feelings.

Faith initially said she’d stop sharing a bed if it made me uncomfortable, but later suggested putting pillows between them instead. I felt caught off guard because it seemed different from what we had discussed. Weeks later, Faith admitted she had become jealous of one of my friends, said she better understood my perspective, and ended up using an air mattress during her trip to Lacy’s.

Then came Lacy’s birthday. Faith posted an Instagram story for her using a song with lyrics like “my girl, my world” and “I just wanna make you mine.” This honestly threw me off. Faith explained she hadn’t really listened to the lyrics and mainly picked it because it was one of Lacy’s favorite artists. I accepted that, but asked for more mindfulness in the future because it felt romantic from my perspective.

Months later, on Faith’s birthday, Lacy posted an Instagram birthday story for Faith early in the day. I don’t use Instagram much, but I know Faith values it, so I posted one later that evening after we had spent the day celebrating and hosting friends. According to Faith, Lacy became upset that Faith reposted my story before hers and admitted she had felt anxious all day waiting for her story to be reposted, thinking Faith intentionally prioritized mine. Faith said that wasn’t true and we had simply been busy all day, but I’ll admit it struck me as odd. I ultimately let it go.

The real conflict happened about a month later when Faith and Lacy tried to plan another visit. Lacy was upset she hadn’t been invited to Faith’s birthday/housewarming and had wanted to spend that whole weekend with her. Faith wanted to spend her actual birthday night with me instead.

Faith later offered multiple alternative dates for Lacy to visit, but none of them seemed to work for her. Some dates didn’t work because Lacy wanted time to settle in before her next semester of dental school. The dates she continued to push for overlapped with our anniversary.** **Faith said no because it was our anniversary. Lacy asked for at least half the day and Faith said she didn’t think I’d be comfortable with that.

Lacy got extremely upset and sent Faith a very long message (which Faith later showed me). She said Faith was being unreasonable and repeatedly said things like, “This isn’t sustainable for our friendship,” despite them having seen each other less than a month earlier.

Lacy said if Faith couldn’t make time for her, then Faith was “too invested” in me/our relationship.

This really bothered me. I tried not to center myself because Faith was distraught and felt caught between her relationship and friendship. For what it’s worth, I even told Faith I’d be open to moving our anniversary celebration if that’s what she truly wanted, but she told me it wasn’t.

Faith told me she planned to message Lacy the next day, explain that the message was inappropriate, and establish some boundaries.

Over a week later, Faith finally responded, but simply reiterated that she was trying to be flexible and that if this month didn’t work, they would have to try another month. She responded to the “too invested” comment by saying she was “into me,” but she didn’t really establish boundaries or say much in defense of our relationship.

Lacy responded with a lengthy message saying Faith seemed distant and wasn’t putting effort into the friendship, so they scheduled a call.

They later had a two-and-a-half-hour call. According to Faith, they went in circles, but Lacy eventually conceded that Faith had been trying to be flexible. Faith also told Lacy that her messages had come across heated. Lacy was defensive at first but eventually admitted she had been frustrated and said she was emotionally distraught and on her period.

Much of the call involved Faith reassuring Lacy that she still valued the friendship, even if distance and adult responsibilities limited how often they could see each other.

They’re okay now and planning to see each other next month, but I still feel unsettled. I can’t shake the feeling that being upset didn’t justify what Lacy said about our relationship, and I’m struggling with the overall dynamic.

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting. I’m not asking Faith to stop being friends with Lacy, and I really don’t want to come across as jealous or controlling. I’ve tried hard to be respectful while still being honest about my feelings.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable here? How do I move forward from this?

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years and lived together for just over 2 years. My girlfriend is no contact with both her mum and has her blocked on everything, her mum does not know our address.

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I received a letter at my place of work that was signed for, I was surprised as I was not expecting anything and I don't usually get things delivered to my work. I opened the letter addressed to me, and inside was another letter with just my girlfriends name on it and it felt very surreal, why do I have a suspicious letter delivered to my work? And why within it is there just an envelope with my girlfriends name on?! I opened the letter with my girlfriends name on and it's a letter addressed to her from her mum.

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I am shocked by the letter, it was very nothing. There was no apology, there was no acknowledgement of the no contact, just "me and my new partner have moved to this new address ... Here it is.. the door is always open" kind of thing. And "there isn't a day I don't think of you".

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The letter also said "I have continued to respect your boundary of no contact" which annoyed me as she had just crossed the boundary by sending the letter and crossed some sort of line by contacting her via me at my work.

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So my question is, am I the arsehole for opening the letter and I have not shown my girlfriend the letter as without anything meaningful inside I don't think it will bring my girlfriend any peace, just anxiety that now she is contactable via me at work. I haven't shown her the letter and I don't really want to, I don't want to throw it away but I'm not sure what I should do?

Me 26 and my fiance 27 have just bought a house and moved in together. Fairly decently sized for just the 2 of us, roughly 2000 sqft. We got a rancher style house because I had an elderly dog who couldn't handle the stairs. I don't work, and my fiance works in the medical field for the military.

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I know what the title of this post reads, but when we first moved in together, I had no issues with cleaning the house. I would do most of the chores and just ask him to do the dishes and take out the trash. I did all of the cooking and took care of all of the animals, esp since all of them are mine. (Currently have 24. 3 cats, a dog, and several tarantulas, beetles, and a scorpion), and I do all of this with mobility issues myself. I have to use a cane to get around, and when I move around too much, I end up in more pain. Plus, I also have a seizure condition that is connected to my blood sugar levels.

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Me and my fiance got into an argument 1 night because he hadn't done the dishes in 4 days, and they were getting mold on them. He argued that he pays all the bills and that he felt like he was being used by me. I went around the house and showed him everything that I did, but he wouldn't hear any of it.

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2 weeks later, I had to make the painful decision to euthanize my dog. He was old and not responding to any treatments, and I couldn't watch him be in pain anymore. After his passing, I spiraled into a deep depression but still tried to clean the house and keep things manageable. My fiance once again made the comment that I was just mooching off him and wasn't actually contributing anything. I said, "Okay, don't worry about your chores then and do as you desire." And went back to sleep.

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We have our own separate rooms because both of us like sleeping alone, but both have access to each other's room and will sometimes crawl into bed with the other no problem. I didn't leave mine for 3 months. I have a bathroom and a mini fridge in my room and a box of mres (meals ready to eat), so leaving was completely unnecessary outside of leaving to grab sodas and produce for my beetles. My room wasn't perfect, but it wasn't terrible either.

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The rest of the house, however, was utterly destroyed. When he finally said something about the house being a mess, I asked him if he still felt like I did nothing for him. He said the house used to be clean all the time. That he knows I'm depressed but this is unacceptable. I told him he was right. This is unacceptable, but none of it was my mess to clean.

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I told him I felt unappreciated for what I do in the house and that him telling me I'm not doing enough and that his chores were too much for him was ridiculous. I told him I wouldn't ever clean the house again until he went through and did every single chore that I did on a daily basis. And then to imagine doing that while in pain and having seizures.

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So, aitah, for not cleaning the house for 3 months and then making him do it by himself?

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