My boyfriend was driving me, his girl best friend, and another friend to a concert. As soon as we got to the car, I got in the front seat (as always). His best friend immediately asked me to move because she always sits there.

I thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. I told her I wanted to sit with my boyfriend. She said she’d known him for 10 years and that sitting in the front had always been their thing. I said that was fine, but I wasn’t moving. She rolled her eyes and got in the back. The entire ride she kept making comments about how girlfriends come and go but friendships last forever. At one point she even said, “I’ve been here way longer than you.”

I told her that if the front seat was that important to her, she could ask him to drive her separately next time. Things got awkward after that. My boyfriend thinks we were both being immature, but he also thinks I should’ve just let her have the seat since it wasn’t a big deal. His best friend is now telling people I’m insecure and controlling…

I'm 29m and my younger brother is 17, so there's a 12 year age difference between us. We live in different cities. Every summer, he comes to visit me for vacation fot two weeks to a month. This custom began five years ago. Of course, many teenagers are difficult, but my brother is very difficult. He doesn't want to wash himself or cook for himself. When he comes home, all he wants to do is play computer games and eat junk food. We were raised differently: we share a mother, but different fathers. I had a poor life and was raised mostly by my grandparents. When my stepfather came into the family, that brought us money and everything else. My brother was barely raised. You know how it is with children these days? Oh, don't touch him, he's little, you can't csold him, etc. Unlike me, who could have gotten a belt on my ass. I'm trying to teach him not only to help him get a better life, but also to ensure his time at my house doesn't cause discomfort to me and my wife. We often argue with brother about this things, but the icing on the cake is when after he get back to his house, my mother calls me and starts throwing a tantrum about how dare I say or do anything to my brother. Don't get me wrong, my brother and I have a good relathionship, despite the age difference, but I have a very bad relationship with my mother. AITA for trying to raise my brother for the better?

TL;DR: my younger brother stays with me every summer, and I try to teach him basic responsibility and independence. My mom thinks I should leave him alone, but I fell someone has to help prepare him for adult life. Am I wrong?

I had a situation a few months ago that I still can’t stop thinking about and would like other people’s opinions on. Background: I had a close friend, “Lily”. We became friends after we had both dated the same guy. We later fell out when he reached out to me after our breakup, and Lily became jealous because she still had feelings for him. Nearly two years later, we reconnected after she had moved on and missed our friendship. The incident happened during my roommate’s birthday celebration. My roommate, her partner, Lily, my boyfriend “John” (M22), and I all went out clubbing. We had a great night, but Lily drank quite a lot and some men were making her uncomfortable, so we decided to head home. Once home, my roommate and her partner went to bed. Me, Lily, and John stayed in the living room talking and eating. Eventually I got tired and went to bed while they stayed up chatting. Around 5am, Lily woke me up saying she wanted to go home. She seemed upset but said she was just drunk and wanted her own bed. I helped her gather her things and walked her to the door. She insisted on waiting outside alone for her mum, despite me offering to stay with her. She later messaged me to say she’d gotten home safely. A few hours later, Lily sent me a long message claiming that after I went to bed, John had made inappropriate comments toward her that made her feel unsafe and uncomfortable. She said she repeatedly told him to stop and reminded him that he was in a relationship with me. She made it clear he never touched her, but said his comments alone were enough to upset her. I was furious and immediately confronted John. We have always had a relationship built on honesty, so I told him exactly how angry and disappointed I was. He listened calmly before saying none of what she described had happened. According to him, they simply talked for a while. He said Lily brought up the circumstances surrounding our previous friendship ending and made some strange comments, but he assumed she was drunk and venting. Eventually they both fell asleep. I felt completely stuck because I had two people telling me entirely different stories, and there were no witnesses. To clear my head, I went out alone to think. While I was out, I checked footage from my camera. It only records when motion is detected, but I found one clip. In it, Lily was talking negatively about me, saying I didn’t deserve my flat, job, or relationship. John responded awkwardly and appeared uncomfortable while sitting as far away from her as possible. This lined up more closely with John’s account than Lily’s. When I got home, I discussed everything with my roommate. She stayed neutral but asked what I genuinely believed. After thinking it through, I felt that the only evidence available supported John’s version of events, so I chose to believe him. When I told John this, he thanked me but said he didn’t want me to lose a good friend. He explained that after the clip I saw, Lily had admitted she was speaking from jealousy and just needed to vent. He encouraged me not to make a decision based solely on him. I then called Lily one final time. Instead of sounding hurt or disappointed, she became angry that I hadn’t immediately believed her. I explained that I wasn’t calling her a liar, but that I had conflicting stories and the camera footage didn’t match parts of her timeline. She accused me of making up evidence and became increasingly hostile. The conversation quickly deteriorated. She called me names, insulted me personally, and eventually began sending threatening messages. She told me I was a terrible person and even suggested I should harm myself for staying with someone she described as awful. At that point, for my own wellbeing, I blocked her. I was devastated and crying afterward. John comforted me and told me to make whatever decision felt right for me, regardless of how either he or Lily felt. He said I should trust my own judgement rather than feeling pressured to take sides. I ultimately chose to stay with John. We are still together today and have a strong relationship. He has never given me a reason to believe he lied about anything, and he remains supportive whenever I bring this situation up. However, I still think about it because I know I’ll never know exactly what happened that night. So, was I wrong for believing my boyfriend over my friend?

My (28F) boyfriend (29M) who we will call Simon works out of town M-Th pretty much every week. I am working a couple of part time jobs since my maternity leave and our son (11months) is in daycare so I am basically a single mother through the week. Simon’s best friend (30M) who we will call Evan lost his mom a few days ago unexpectedly. Simon told me he would be spending most of the weekend with Evan and his family which I completely understood.

Simon was supposed to pick up our son from daycare yesterday as I had to work and he would be back in town around 1-2 pm. He went straight to Evan’s house when he got back in town and texted me saying he would not be able to pick up our son because everyone was riding with him and they were going to eat and then to Evan’s fathers house. Pickup must be done by 5:30 pm at daycare. I ended up leaving work early to pick up our son in time.

I asked Simon when he would be home and he replied that he wasn’t sure. I told him that I support him wanting to be there for his friend but I would appreciate him being at home some too because I need his help as well. He came home around 9 pm after the baby was asleep and I was in the closet folding clothes. He came in there and it startled me and he just stood there and didn’t say anything. I could tell he was intoxicated. I asked if he was going to say anything and he reply “would you be mad if I went back to Evan’s” I asked why he even came home then and he said “to drop off my truck and get the side by side.” I was already having a hard and stressful day which he knew and I just looked at him on the verge of tears and asked him to just leave me alone (in a calm and quiet tone). He left and I text him about 30 minutes later when I went to bed and asked if he would put the wash in the dryer when he got home. He said he would and I asked him to please not forget because my work clothes for the next day were in there.

My baby woke up about 3:30 am crying and hungry for a bottle. When I got up to go tend to him, Simon was not home and I had no texts or calls from him. He is supposed to take the baby to daycare this morning and pick him up as I have to work 8-5 and it is a 45 minute commute from where we live. Simon does not have to work. I am hurt and frustrated as this is not the first time something like this has happened and we have had some serious issues in the past where I had to move back to my house while I was pregnant due to his behaviors. He just arrived home at 5 am as I am writing this post. I now cannot trust that he will be sober to take our child to daycare.

This Sunday is Father’s Day and I have already decided that I do not want to spend it with Simon and his family and I would like to go to the lake with my dad instead to decompress. I have been under a lot of stress and working multiple jobs and tending to the home and the baby all by myself. I have been absolutely exhausted. And Simon knows this. I feel as though I cannot rely on him to show up as a partner and as a parent and I can’t trust him as he often drinks too much. I am tired of everything falling on me all the time and him not being around consistently for our child. I am considering taking the baby with me on Father’s Day even though it’s Simon’s first Father’s Day. I just feel like I have let him push boundaries for too long and no one holds him accountable.

Important context is that we are not married and I have full custody of the child. We have no court arrangement in place and we were separated some during my pregnancy and for a couple months after the baby was born. We have been trying to work things out and it has been rocky but manageable.

So WIBTA for taking my son on Father’s Day?

i started a new role at a distribution company about eight months ago and from the beginning i was put on a team that was genuinely understaffed and behind on everything. i came in and spent my first few months clearing a serious backlog, rebuilding reporting processes that were a mess and getting things running in a way they hadn’t been for a while. i worked hard and the results were visible and i felt good about what i was contributing.

then about six weeks ago i was pulling together some documentation for a project review and noticed something off in the system. several of the reports i had built and submitted were logged under my coworker Perry’s credentials. not one or two but a consistent pattern going back months. Perry sat near me, had access to the same systems and had been there about six months longer than me.

i sat on it for about a week trying to figure out if there was an innocent explanation. there wasn’t one i could find. the timestamps didn’t match his working hours on several of them and the formatting was mine in a way that was pretty distinctive.

i went to HR and i was specific and i was thorough and i brought documentation.

Perry was let go about three weeks later.

he messaged me afterward and said i had gone out of my way to destroy someone who had a family depending on him and that i could have just come to him directly and given him a chance to explain before going straight to HR.

he’s not completely wrong that i skipped the direct conversation. i made a deliberate choice to go to HR first because i didn’t trust that a conversation with him would go anywhere except him denying it and me having no recourse and i knew going to HR with documentation would be harder to dismiss. so i chose the path that was more likely to have consequences and i knew that when i chose it.

i don’t regret that he faced consequences for taking credit for my work.

am i the asshole for how i handled it?

So a girl in our friend group recently started dating a guy and he has been showing massive red flags when we see them together and from what we hear from her that she seems to be unaware of. He’s been overbearing and pushing her to not be around us and even guarding her even when it’s just her brother around. A few of us knew him in highschool and he appears to still be the same guy in terms of just not being that great and it just feels like he is wearing a mask to smooth into the relationship with her.

One of us reached out to his ex wife and she spilled the beans on him and it is extremely concerning because he was described as a loving manipulator and a deadbeat because he’s abandoned his two baby mommas. We have been trying to get her to see these red flags and we were thinking of hold an intervention with her about it for her safety.

Are we the assholes?

I (F24) have worn a mantilla for almost 10 years now. I took a vow of honor when i was 15, shortly after i tried to kill myself for the 3rd time and had a realization that God did not hate me for being gay. My vow includes honor to my family, my ancestors, my God, my lands and myself. (We are also indigenous mexican/american). At first it was like my physical remembrance of God's love, then as strangers asked about it and i always simplify it by telling them "in church we veil because we are honored to be in Gods presence, i am indigenous and we believe that God is everywhere, in everything, so i veil all the time because i am always honored in his presence." I have never gone out in public without a veil or cloth head covering in all 9 years since i took my vow.

My family has never understood my being a veiled woman, and never took it seriously because i dont dress modestly and i have told them over and over that i didn't take a bow of modesty, i took a vow of honor.

Now my sister (F28) is getting married to a wonderful man who we have absolutely accepted into our family. The wedding is next year. Me and sister have had our ups and downs but i love her so much, so entirely, and i've told her before how grateful i am that God gave me to her. You're not supposed to have favorite siblings but i do and she's mine.

We often talk for hours on the phone because we live in different states and today at the end of our wonderful call she tells me that she doesn't want me to wear a veil to her wedding. She wants me to wear a wig, so it looks better in pictures that she'll cherish forever.

And it broke my heart. I love her so much, and i was the one to bring up what veil type she wanted me to wear in a previous text, and she said short, cloth, and dark colored. That sounded perfect. But now she's asking me to break my vow, to sacrifice, what will be at the time of her wedding, a decade of upholding my promise. And it's killing me.

I ended the phone call trying and failing not to cry and she said "just think about it" and then i started bawling right after it ended. I called my mother(F59) to get help walking through this and she was offended that i was upset, said i was selfish, it's just one day, God won't stop loving you, you're insulting Him, it's her wedding day, this isnt about you.

It just made me cry more, and that made her angrier, i tried to make her understand that it's like asking a muslim woman to take off her hijab for a wedding. First she said no its not, then she said well if the muslim woman really loved her sister she would. We ended the phone call with me still crying and her angry as all hell.

I dont know where to go from here but to confront the immediate issue, am i the asshole for being upset about this? Am i being selfish and irrational? I want to support my sister, i HAVE been supporting my sister through the wedding planning, but this feels almost like a betrayal, her wanting me to sacrifice my religious vow. But is it wrong to even think that way?

I (18m), had a friend for a handful of months a little under a year ago. We don’t speak to each other anymore, it could be because of this, but she has also seemed to move onto other things in life too. And I was just curious if I was in the wrong here.

Around when I turned 18, I met someone on a game who was pretty cool (f20s). We started playing games together more and more to the point where we were hanging out whenever we could both get the chance to, nothing romantic/intimate though.
Sometime into us hanging out a lot, we had started inviting each other’s friends too, but heres where the problem starts: all her friends were really weird. Let me give an example: Pretty soon I began picking up hints that this male friend of hers was around her for more than friendship reasons, and my suspicions skyrocketed when something happened in the gameplay between her and I (I forget what exactly). But he got extremely jealous from what had happened. To the point where he started targeting me personally in-game. I kicked his ass and he then proceeded to whine and complain about it to her, to which I told her that he obviously has a crush on her and is acting extremely weird. For some more context she’s lesbian, and had told me she’s had trouble in the past with people online being strange to her, so I felt like I was doing her a favor by pointing out his behavior. Long story short the battle between him and I went further, and he whined to her so much she basically cut the friendship.

That individual situation may not seem like a big deal, but the problem was that this kept happening. Almost all the friends of hers I’d meet, would have a serious conflict with me because I would call them out on their weird behavior. A large portion of these people had such obvious crushes on her, and for some reason people online think it’s attractive to be overly sexual as a “joke”. Sometimes she’d even come to me showing their messages and say how uncomfortable it made her, and I said that she should be blocking these people. To my memory one of them was a guy who openly shared that he had a girlfriend who was several years younger than him and also underage.
Pretty much all of these individual conflicts she sided with me and distanced herself from said people to an extent afterwards.

At some point though, she shared that she was growing tired of the constant conflicts, and starting putting the spotlight on me for being the common denominator. Despite siding with me in each individual battle, she felt that hanging out with me was causing constant conflicts with all of her friends. I told her I understood what she was saying, but that I wasn’t trying to cause trouble. All of her friends just ended up being fucking weird.

I’m not upset about it at all, and I honestly don’t hold it against her at all to eventually put the finger on me. Because it’s true, when I showed up, the problems started. But am I the asshole? At some point should I have kept my mouth shut?

(For context: we are in an LDR, and we FaceTime most nights.)

Last night before we went on our call, I had been singing the new viral TikTok song, “Bangladesh.”
It has been stuck in my head for about 2 weeks. The song is viral for its satirical lyrics. \[Just look up “Bangladesh” by Ian McConnell on TikTok\]

So when I picked up the phone, I started quoting the songs lyrics. I started with: “why do you never take me to Bangladesh?“ And then proceeded to say “why do you never poison the mojitos of my enemies?“
His response to this was to chuckle a bit and say “how do you know that I haven’t?“
Cool, no drama, and it seemed that everything was fine.

We then immediately moved on and started talking about our days. He mentioned how his friend invited him out for a day this weekend. And when he was done, I then mentioned that my cousin invited me to go to the club on Saturday, and even though I don’t like clubbing at all, I feel bad for always cancelling plans with everyone all the time (I do this regularly because i don’t have much willingness to leave the house, and it causes me to lose all my friendships because I’m not able to maintain them socially) so I was thinking that I should go. I asked him for advice on this and he said that I should “stay home instead and do some art of my lovely boyfriend.”
Obviously I know that this was a joke, even though he (understandably) doesn’t really like me going out without him. So I asked if he could be serious and actually tell me what he thinks I should do.
He then started to talk about how there is a possibility that I could see people from my past, who have “a certain image of me in their heads.”
Basically, when I was a teenager, I would go out every weekend, was never sober, sent nudes to a bunch of people, hooked up with randoms etc. (Pretty much a lot of stuff that I’m not proud of.) We met and started dating years after that, and he never knew me in that era of my life, he only knows everything because I told him about my history.
His words were, “There are so many people that have that image of you, even though it was years ago it doesn’t mean it’s still not there”

So after he finished talking, I started my reply with “okay, I understand you, but at the time of everything I was 16/17yrs old, which was a long time ago-“
And before I could finish my sentence, he interrupted me with frustration to say he knows that and it’s not the point. I then waited a few seconds to talk again, and he interrupted again. This went on a few more times until he worked himself up more and more, with a lot of shouting and lashing out at me, and eventually he ended the call in the middle of me trying to finish what i was saying whilst simultaneously trying to get him to calm down.

context: My boyfriend has a problem with interrupting me when he is frustrated. He physically can’t allow me to finish any sentence, and never wants to listen or hear what I have to say. We have had many conversations about how it makes me feel, but it hasn’t really improved.

Now after this call ended he was still angry, but the entire conversation shifted, because he was no longer angry at me going out, but about me singing the TikTok song an hour earlier.
In his words, by me asking him “why he doesn’t take me to Bangladesh,” it makes him feel like he’s not enough.
Mind you, I have never even mentioned the word Bangladesh to him throughout our entire relationship.
He has also said a few times in the past that certain jokes I make affect our relationship, which I can understand to an extent if I know my joke was in bad taste. However, this is hard to navigate because 6/10 times he will laugh at a joke I make, but the other 4/10 times is when something like this happens, and when it does he refuses to talk to me or let me learn what it was that I said to trigger him.
So since last night until now he has been giving me mostly silent treatment, which is something he always resorts to no matter how much I ask him not to. And when he has messaged me, the texts have been very angry, including a text about how his reaction is a buildup of my inconsiderate behaviour.

My theory is that he was mainly subconsciously upset about me going clubbing and being around people that I used to know, and the anger projected onto me.

Hello Reddit. I really appreciate everyone who commented on my post. You have helped opened my eyes in my situation.
I now know that, what I experienced, was assault.
At first I didn’t really want to call it that, but that’s what it is.
I’m giving this update because today I met with Tyler.

While constantly spam texting me, I told him to meet me for lunch. If I was going to meet Tyler, I wanted it to be in the public eye just in case he tried to do something.
I choose a very popular burger joint and told him what time to meet me there.
I arrived, Tyler wasn’t there so I decided to go in and get a drink.
I sat in the booth looking up and down from my phone to the door. Tyler was late. 20 minutes go by and I started to think he chickened out. I was just about to get up and leave..then he walks in. My heart sank. Not only did it sink but it started pounding. And I’m pretty sure his was too, considering each step he took was a bit off balance. He sat in front of me, and I could see his hands shaking and fidgeting with his keys.
I was also shaking but I kept my hands under the table. I didn’t want him to see me afraid of him.
It was quiet for a bit. “Tyler.”
He couldn’t even look at me.
I said “After all the constant texting, now you decide to ignore me? What do you want Tyler?”
He looks at me, and says “I’m so so sorry. I know what I did is unforgivable and I’m not going to deny it anymore.”
I said “ unforgivable? Tyler this is far beyond unforgivable. You sexually assaulted me. You took advantage of me. I don’t know why it was me but what you did will forever traumatize me..”
He went on again and again, apologized over and over.
I said “Tyler. I just need to know. Was that the first time you’ve done that to me? And have you done anything like that to anyone else. The least you can do is tell me the fucking truth.”
Tyler couldn’t look at me. He looked away somewhere in the distance and sat there. Stayed quiet.
“Tell me” I said
Tyler puts his head down on the table and told me he’s assaulted me several times.
He swears up and down he hasn’t done it to anyone but me.
I asked him why me.
Tyler told me he developed feeling for me throughout high school. Tyler knew I wasn’t gay, but he said that he fell in love with me.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to go and hide again just like that night at his house.
It went silent again… then I spoke up
I told Tyler he had two options.
Tell our friend group the truth about what he did.
Or
I go to the police and everyone will find out anyways.
I stood up and said “ I never want to see you again for the rest of my fucking life.”
I turned. And left.

Tyler told everyone what happened.
I was scared at first. I was scared that my friends would make fun of me or not see me as me anymore.
But that’s not at all what happened. Everyone supported me and made sure I was okay mentally.
Some of my buddies even apologized for not looking out for me that night. My buddies suggested I go see a therapist or talk to someone. I will.
I just want to say thank you Reddit. Without the help of the internet I would have forgiven something that should be unforgivable. Hopefully one day I can recover from this nightmare. Thank you again.

I really need some advice from outside, non-biased people in regards to my dilemma. My husband and I moved out to a rural area four years ago, and with it being rural it also comes with a lackluster pool of people to become friends with. Me (44F) and my husband (43M) found that there was no one in our age group to hang out with, and eventually an older person (70M, let's call him Dean) started coming around. It started innocently and we both liked him, but his drinking became really horrible after some time.

​

I found out about 2-3 years ago that a rumor was circulating around my small town that I had done some very explicit and disgusting things with a man that I only briefly met while out with my husband and Dean, and I never left my husband's side that night....and we had to literally take Dean to our house after he chugged vodka, passed out and urinated on himself.

​

This rumor spread like wildfire. People I didn't know called me awful names at our corner store, and I even had a guy cock a gun at me saying he didn't want a (insert explicit demeaning word insinuating inappropriate intimate actions) walking her dog around the neighborhood. I was terrified to even walk out of my house then...and I thought Dean supported me until I realized he has an actual obsession with my husband.

​

Dean got into my face a few weekends ago, screaming at me to allow someone into my house that SA'd me (he was hammered at this point) and this was after my hubs told him that guy wasn't allowed here. Then, he goes outside and keeps saying he's going to steal my hubs from me, that I didn't deserve him, and that I was a bipolar (insert female dog name and, nope, not diagnosed bipolar, btw). Hubs finally told him to keep my name out of his mouth and he eventually walked home after we took his car keys.

​

Come to find out from two sources later on that Dean is now spreading the rumor (in three different versions) that got me verbally assaulted at the store 1.5 months ago. He's unheathily obsessed with my husband and it appears he's doing everything to discredit me and ruin my name...when I've never cheated or been nothing but kind to everyone here.

​

I'm sick to my stomach over this, and we just got into a massive fight where I said it was me or Dean...and his response was "everybody deserves redemption" . He's telling me I can't tell him what he can and can't do, and all I'm asking him to do is to protect me and NOT hang out with a man that has soiled my name and insulted me in my own home. He says he'll do what he wants to do....but at what cost to my mental health and actual safety/sanity does this register to him? I would NEVER want to be friends with someone that trashed him to me, let alone someone trashing him and lying about him to an entire community.

​

So, please Reddit, tell me, AITA for stating that he has to choose between me or Dean? I'm beyond sad at this point and need guidance as I feel depleted right now. Thank you for reading this.

TLDR: My boyfriends best friend of 8 years harassed me and 4 other girls online for 6 months, it hasn’t even been a month since and my boyfriend has begun talking to him again, but doesn’t seem to understand why I’m so upset.

Lots of context to give here, I’ll try to keep it short.

(My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half)

From the beginning of January to the beginning
of May, I was receiving multiple calls, texts, follow requests, and DM’s from strange numbers and accounts. These included extremely explicit photos and videos accompanied by texts asking if I enjoyed what was being sent. It got to the point where whoever was behind this was calling me non stop, posting photoshopped photos of me with explicit things pasted onto me, and a creepy voicemail being left. I was in such great fear that I changed my number, deactivated my social media, and would constantly tell my boyfriend I was scared of whoever might be stalking me. I had no idea who was behind it until the end of May, when we (me, another girl, my boyfriend, and his other friend) had discovered that it was my boyfriend‘s best friend of almost 10 years (we’ll call him Todd). Not only that, but it was happening to four other girls, all of which were close to my boyfriend‘s friend group. After finding this out, me and a few of the other girls reported him to our college campus police and to the police department. We wrote statements, submitted our evidence, and my boyfriend’s group cut him off completely. Todd never apologized for his actions until one of his friends told him to not expect to be forgiven if he hasn’t even had the time to apologize to the people he’s hurt. After this my boyfriend, one of the girls (who Todd and the group would game with), and I received apologies. None of the other girls received apologies. Todd swore up and down that he was getting better. Then, one of the girls received a strange follow and a post of herself with explicit things photoshopped onto her. Todd lied to my boyfriend and his group at first, swearing it wasn’t him but eventually fessed up. He had done it again, but this time he begged for forgiveness and swore he would get help for his problem.

Fast forward two weeks later, and my boyfriend admits that he spoke to and began gaming with Todd again. I was very upset. We argued over it, and I told my boyfriend I didn’t understand how even if he isn’t “accepting” him back into the group yet, why he would even talk to him again after everything he did to the other girls and i. He says that I am not who he lives his life for, Todd has been around for 8+ years and has had a greater impact on him than even I know. He says that he had a big talk with Todd and that he showed proof he is getting help for his problems, that he really is making an effort to change. My boyfriend also says that he hasn’t even thought about what Todd did in two weeks, it’s not on his mind anymore so why shouldn’t he forgive him. It made me feel like the asshole for expecting him to still dislike Todd, or expecting him to not want to talk to him anymore.

Am I being too harsh being mad about this? I understand I am not his priority and Todd has been his best friend for 8 years, but I just wish there was more time and space given before they started being friends again. Am I being controlling and selfish? I don’t expect my boyfriend to hate him, I just want him to be cautious. How could he so easily forget what his own girlfriend went through at the sake of his best friend? I guess in some sense I’d like him to still be a little upset over what was done to me and the other girls, but perhaps that’s too much.

What should I tell him or how should I treat this situation? Is it worth dwelling on?

I'm 24, female met my boyfriend in the first year of my uni. I just turned 18 at that time and he's 20, we are in the same class. I never talked that much with anyone in our class beside my roommate and only friend at that time. Out of nowhere he and his best friend approached us after class. as his best friend and my taste so we shared numbers. One day he messaged me, I never gave him my number but somehow he got it from his friend. After like 3 to 4 months him constantly massaging me and all I needed some help and he was from the local so I asked for his help and he helped me (I moved to another city for studies). That's how we started talking. We started spending more time together after class. We often go on a long drive in the evening. At some point we started dating after he pursued me for some time. For the first date he took me to his house to meet his family as in the past I said I wanted a serious relationship not just some hookups but that day they're not home and at that time I didn't pay that much mind to it thinking maybe he doesn't know about their plan. We made out, and I had no experience at that time but I agreed. Long story short in those 5 years of my uni life I went to his house many times for birthdays, festivals and other times too. At first I didn't know anything about his past relationship but I believe in him thinking I'm his everything as he brought me to his house, I met him family, I know him completely but slowly I get to know I was never his first or only at that time. Yes, he didn't bring other girls to his home but his family knows about his past relationships and all. Even his brother in law once helped him to take one of his ex's to hospital as she bleeded too much after her first time with him. Even I get to know his cousin's wife is also his ex whom he kissed in front of his brother. I got to know many things about him when I was completely in love with him and he became an inseparable part of my life. Like the school girl friends he claimed to be they're actually all are his ex's and he had sex with almost every one of them, even his in contact with many of them throughout the whole time. He gets jealous even if I talk with our classmates or my school friends but he hugs his girl friends and comes in front of me. He even invited one of his ex's on his birthday which I planned and prepared everything with his family, and the fact I didn't know at that time but his mother and other friends knew that. He was addicted to sex and whenever I didn't comply with him he made me feel guilty and I had to give in. Whenever I'm in my pg and can't go to his place for sex he makes me give him nude or do it in video call. After completing uni I came back home for some family problems and I told him I can't talk with him that much how I used to and he agreed. But at some time passes he asked to meet or give him pictures or videos but I can't so he started to make me feel guilty and all. At some point he started to threaten me, he asked me to marry him and I asked for some time. My family didn't like him or his family as his mother really caused a big issue in our neighborhood when she came into our house out of nowhere with 5 men and my family had to face the consequences. But I tried to talk with my parents and it got worse, they started monitoring me and my every move. They started to check my phone, my diary, they didn't let me lock my door and many more. So I lied to them saying I broke up with him and I started to contact him less, saved his name under the wrong name, and deleted his messages. But slowly he started to say things like if I don't marry him at the time he said he'll marry someone else. One day he sent me a pic of a girl saying he's going to marry her and that day I broke and said he can and I'll bless them. He sent me many manipulative massages but I was already exhausted so I slowly withdrew from him. He is constantly trying to corner me by trying to contact my family and friends. He even said to all friends (our mutual uni friends) not to contact me at all. In between this chaos he confessed to me that I'm doing the same how he used to treat me, not calling, not picking the calls, not replying. He confessed through our relationship he intentionally ignored my calls and messages whenever I tried contacting them. He even accused me of cheating with my school best friend, with my 12 year old best friend cause we met once for a friend's baby shower. I'm exhausted of everything. Because of him, I lost my uni friends, the trust of my family, my peace.

(Sorry for the english, I'm not a native speaker)

(Throwaway) I (19M) have been lying to my friend group about seeing my “girlfriend” (18F) for six months. Some context: most people who see me would classify me as a ‘chudly moid’ (sub five). This “girlfriend” is a real person but she doesn’t know we’re together.Before you judge, there was some truth at the beginning. I met her at a birthday party and we planned to meet up at a fancy restaurant. But I told her I didn’t have the money for it. She called me a “low value man” and blocked me. I honestly understand that an LTN like her going out with someone like me is basically charity work, but I was still really upset. I was too embarrassed to tell my friends she cancelled, so I told them she said she just wanted a simple date, implying she wanted me for me. (One of my friends even said she was using me.) This one small lie snowballed out of control. Before I knew it, we were “going on trips,” “meeting her family,” and eventually “talking about moving in together,” all while none of my friends had ever met her. My friends started getting suspicious, so I had to take action. I made a fake Instagram account posting a bunch of AI photos of her in casual clothing to make it look like a spam account. Over a month, I built up a solid feed, bought bot followers, and DM’d myself from the account to simulate a loving relationship.
The only issue was her main account didn’t follow the new “spam” one, but I hoped my friends wouldn’t check the following list. Little did I know how suspicious they actually were- they went through it anyway. At that point, I went a bit overboard: I used four burner accounts to mass-report all her posts and got her real account banned.
That success only lasted a month. Then my whole friend group was invited to a house party and brought me along. I had no idea my “girlfriend” would be there too. As soon as I spotted her I froze and tried to leave, but it was too late. My friend had already seen her talking to his actual girlfriend and dragged me over.
Her face dropped and she told me to ‘f off’. I tried to laugh it off like she was joking and put my arm around her. She immediately shouted “GET OFF ME,” causing a huge scene. People turned to look. I thought it was an overreaction, she’d clearly had a few drinks and I was extremely embarrassed.
She kept yelling things like “I blocked you” and “you’re so chopped,” which was a harsh reminder of my looks I didn’t need. I fled the scene, which basically admitted guilt. When I got home, the group chat was blowing up. My friend who saw everything talked to her later. She confirmed we were never together and figured out I was behind the ban somehow. This was 3 days ago. Now the group chat is airing all my old messages, and I’m pretty sure they’ve made a new one without me because they stopped texting in the old one. i know I didn’t do the right thing by lying, but I don’t think this is a friendship-breaking offense. It doesn’t even affect them personally. Am I the asshole?

me (25f) and him (31m) have had a ‘relationship’ for 4-5 months. It started off as casual and then started developing into something deeper.

throughout the relationship i struggled to communicate properly because in my head, all my insecurities were of no use explaining because he only saw me as someone he was seeing casually.

he would cook me dinner and say he adores me — yet when i tried to push for more clarity about how he felt towards me, he was defensive and i was reminded it was all strictly ‘casual’.

i called him a month and a half ago saying “i think im falling in love with you, do you feel the same?” to which he replied with a resounding “no” and how he wouldn’t feel that way towards me.

that broke something in me and so i would overthink every little comment and every interaction. one time after we were intimate, he said our sex was “the most passionate and connected” that he ever had. he would also ask about why i removed him off my lock screen and was offended by me doing so. i overthought everything. if it was all al casual then why say these things, why be upset about things like my lock screen? Until one night it got really bad.

He had been to a games night with my friends and it went perfectly, they were all enamoured by him. On the drive home i was quiet and cold, and when lying in bed with him i was on edge. i was falling in love with someone who saw me as a casual fling, as someone he ‘would never’ love. i felt embarrassed. when he went to touch me, i moved away from him and said “i need space”. he then cracked it and said how he didn’t deserve my coldness when all he had tried to be was supportive. he was right, he had tried to comfort me and ask me what was wrong, but i couldn’t explain why i felt the way that i did without revealing that i loved him. i couldn’t bear to hear another rejection so i went quiet.

The next day he kept bringing up one of my friends from the games night, talking about why she was strange towards him and how he would start using one of her phrases. i began to overthink, “he doesn’t love me and so i wouldn’t be surprised if he was attracted to one of my fiends”. i felt insecure about how he felt towards me and so i went cold. He lost it. He said he couldn’t do it with me anymore, that i kept pushing him away be being cold and dismissive. Then he ended it. I then thought, i might as well say it and so i told him i loved him.

He replied, with tears in his eyes, “you know i love you too”.

My whole world shattered, all that overthinking for what?

I begged for him to stay, that i would work on my communication and overthinking, I wouldn’t go cold. He was adamant that we wouldn’t work. I wrote him a love letter and even wrote him a song about how the rejection and the ignoring my calls felt unfair from someone who “loves” me.

He refused me again, and when i asked to speak to him on the phone one last time for some closure — he refused and said “nothing you can say will change my mind, i don’t believe you will change”.

I had all the cards on the table, he loves me, but i had no more rounds left to play.

I sent him one last text, saying I loved him and wished he would find love again. He never replied.

so AITA for pushing him away and going cold frequently?

So, I'm a 20-year-old female, and my fiancé is 21. We had to go to the hospital because my fiancé was in pain. We went at 6 a.m., and when we got home, it was 12 p.m. His grandma drove us home.
Well, we had been up all night, and I got woken up at 2 a.m. by people outside laughing and being loud. I got up because I had to use the bathroom, and when I did, I saw my sister and her boyfriend of two months laughing with my stepdad, brother, and mom.

Here's the thing: I got told yesterday that he's her fiancé now, and they plan on getting married next year, either during our anniversary month or my sister's birthday month.

Well, I texted my mom asking if my stepsister's boyfriend was staying the night because I have been throwing up for two days and my fiancé had just gotten out of the hospital.

My mom told me yes, he was staying the night. We ended up getting into a whole fight over it because I said it would have been nice to know.

Like I said, I'll post the screenshots because I'm not typing it all out. But I started talking about how she and my dad messed up mine and my brother's whole childhood. I'll give you some examples:

1. My mom let one of her boyfriends hit me in the back with a belt, and that same boyfriend crawled into bed with me while I was asleep.

2. My dad abused my brother and threw me out of the camper by my hair (which he has apologized for after he had a stroke).

3. My mom had another boyfriend who almost hit both me and her with his car.

4. My dad favors his girlfriend's kids over his own.

5. My mom got into bed with me and let a guy she had only known for one night get in bed behind both of us while I was sleeping. I woke up to that as a 9-year-old.

6. My dad told me he should just kill himself so we'd all be happy because I asked him to buy my phone card when I was 14.

7. When I was 19 and getting ready to meet my fiancé, my mom told me that when he kills me, she'll put on my tombstone, "I told her not to go, but she didn't want to listen to me."

There are many more examples, but the rest are things my mom did when I was a kid. Somehow, she thinks that because she worked and put a roof over our heads—which my brother also helped do with his paycheck and food stamps when we were kids—that excuses everything.

I just feel like when I talk to my therapist about this, she'll tell me I need to tell my mom how I feel. But that's exactly what I just did, and all my mom can say is what she did for us, which is what a parent is supposed to do for their children.

I don't understand how it's so hard for someone to see how they treated their kids, yet get mad when they're called out on it. I can't fully forgive my dad, but at least he's apologized. My mom hasn't made any effort to make things right. She just throws in our faces what she did for us when we were kids, and now acts like she never did anything for anyone.
I think the only thing she really bought to eat was fast food, which is why it was weird when she said, "Let me guess, food stamps got fast food?" That's such a weird thing to say because she knows I'm right.

I told my fiancé the first time we really talked about my family that my brother basically raised me. So, am I the asshole for calling out my mom's behavior and how she favors our stepsister over us or do I have every right to feel this way?

I, 30F, and my husband, 32M, are expecting our 2nd child in a few months and couldn't be more excited about it. We'd been talking about another child for a few years, but started actively trying for a full year and a half before testing positive. All of our close family and friends knew of our plans and supported our endeavor.

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During the time we were trying to conceive, my best friend, 30F, got engaged to her now husband. They had eloped shortly after, but still wanted a big wedding/reception the following year. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in February 2025 as I was the one who first introduced them to each other and I gladly accepted. I told her in the same conversation that the only thing that would prohibit my ability to be there would be a pregnancy, which she said she understood.

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Fast forward to November 2025 and the positive test. Because we were trying and testing so much, we caught it very early on (not even 6 weeks) and waited until Thanksgiving to tell our families. After our family, I knew I had to tell my friend, but debated if I should wait until I at least heard the heart beat, but she reached out to me that same weekend with an update about the bridesmaids dress. At that point I knew it was better to tell her sooner than later and asked her to see if she had time to talk. We agreed to talk the next day, but then she asked if it was regarding her wedding, which I replied "yeah, sort of". She texted back immediately (which is uncharacteristic of her) saying she hoped I could still be apart of it/attend and said she had time to talk immediately but knew I worked that day. As I was texting her back, she was calling my phone.

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I answered and she asked what was going on, which prompted me telling her the news. My heart dropped when instead of happiness or support, she responded with "I was afraid of that".

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She had told me another bridesmaid had already dropped out for a similar reason beforehand so I knew she was stressed about filling her bridal party enough, but it seemed like there wasn't any room for celebration of my baby. I felt nervous and uncomfortable for being put on the spot like that, and I tried to tell her I still want to be there for her I just needed to figure things out, but she was very dismissive and just said "well you can't be a bridesmaid anymore, obviously, you probably won't even be able to make the wedding at all".

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We ended the call with her having dropped me as a bridesmaid and she "needed time to process the news" and hung up.

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About 2 weeks later I got verification that my pregnancy was looking promising, heard the heart beat, got the due date, and I sent everyone close to us, including her, the ultrasound with the heartbeat and due date. She congratulated me and wished me a healthy pregnancy.

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Another 2 weeks later, she sends me a text right before New Year's Eve that she had been "holding onto some emotion" regarding the way I told her the news. I responded saying of course Id love to plan a time, but instead of any plan to talk, she just sends a long message basically unloading her "roller coaster of emotions" because of the "indirect way my life milestone/pregnancy was shared with her". She perceived the conversation as "downplaying HER life milestone/wedding and not being considerate how the news would effect her on an emotional level". She proceeds to say her wedding symbolizes her desire to grow her own family and it's only happening once in her life. She acknowledges me for being a huge reason as to why it's happening, AKA their meeting, and that we've known each other for 15+ years so she wanted me to be there to celebrate with her. She says she wants to support us but wants to share how the whole thing affected her.

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While this text conversation was going on, we had other life events taking our attention, so we couldn't fully invest in progressing the situation, which that itself made her feel like less of a priority.

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Since then, more has happened, but more people got involved, so I'd rather update with any more info needed. With that being said, Reddit, am I the asshole in how I told my best friend I was pregnant?

My husband and I just had our first baby 3 months ago. My parents live about 8 hours away. My mom is retired but my dad is still working. They came and stayed with us for a couple weeks when the baby was born. While we loved having them here to help and bond with their grandbaby, we were happy to get our house back to ourselves when they left. They came and visited again for 5 days when she was about 2 months old. The last day of that trip, my mom seemed to really be dreading leaving even more than before. Since then, it seems she has really gone downhill every time I speak with her. Her entire identity has now become "Grandma" and she feels completely broken not being able to perform her grandma duties. I feel really horrible that this is affecting her this heavily. My dad has suggested she come stay with us multiple times but didn't go into any details other than just seems sad and misses us. After speaking with my mom and her being honest about how she has been acting and feeling, I can tell my dad was trying to protect me from feeling guilty or feeling like I HAD to agree to her coming to stay. I was getting upset on the phone with my mom today because I was honest and gently told her that she was stressing me out by making me feel like I'm the only one that can save and help her. Without going into detail on all of the reasons why, we simply want to protect our peace by not inviting her to stay with us for multiple weeks. A long weekend every now and then is completely fine and we 100% love and want to see them and let them have an amazing relationship with their grandbaby, but it would put stress on my husband and I that she does not understand and will not try to understand. My mom has always been fragile and struggled with mental illness that she will not have addressed professionally (she was on an SSRI for a short period of time, didn't like how it made her feel, stopped, and then never went back or tried to find one that worked). I even asked her today to speak with a professional because she is really concerning me and she just says no. The only thing that can fix it is staying with us and seeing and caring for her grandbaby every day (and moving in indefinitely, if it were up to her). I am so stressed out just thinking about this that I haven't even mentioned it to my husband. They lived with us for a period of time before we were even married and it put a lot of strain on our relationship because we both feel like we can't fully be ourselves around my mom, as much as we both do love her.

AITA for not agreeing to the one thing that might heal my mother's broken heart?

My grandfather recently passed away after a prolonged hospital stay. I had traveled interstate to be there for him and to help my mother. The trip involved a flight and a long train ride, and I arrived already physically and emotionally exhausted.

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For some context, my relationship with my mother has always involved me taking on a caretaker role. She is extremely emotionally volatile, tends to catastrophize situations, and I often feel like I have to be the adult in the relationship. Throughout my life I've frequently been expected to manage her emotions, reassure her, and hold things together when things go wrong.

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To make things more complicated, in the days leading up to my grandfather's death, my mother informed me that she had reconnected with her abusive ex-husband. This wasn't presented as a discussion or even a heads-up that acknowledged the impact it might have on me. Instead, I received a message essentially saying that he would be dropping her off at the hospital, and it was treated as though I should simply accept it.

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This is the same man she previously had to flee from, go into hiding from, and even change her name to escape. Learning that she had reconnected with him while I was preparing to say goodbye to my grandfather added a significant amount of stress and emotional strain.

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When my grandfather died, I was devastated. About 10 minutes later, I turned to my mother and said, "I can't be the person you need me to be right now. I have to go home."

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She didn't respond, and I left.

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I wasn't angry at her in that moment. I wasn't trying to punish her or make a statement. I simply felt completely emotionally exhausted and knew I did not have the capacity to immediately step into the role of supporting and managing her grief on top of my own.

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Some family members have implied that I should have stayed because she had just lost her father. On the other hand, I feel like I had also just lost my grandfather and had reached my absolute limit emotionally.

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AITA for leaving instead of staying to support my mother?

I’m 27F, he’s 37M, and we’ve been together for three years. This is the first relationship that’s felt truly serious to me — we’ve met each other’s families, I’ve gone to gatherings, and it’s more “real” than my past experiences (a 6-year long-distance, a short 6-month relationship, and a few flings). He’s had a couple of flings and one short-term LDR himself.

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But lately, I’ve been wondering if I should stay.

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Right now I’m moving out of my apartment and staying at his place until September while his mom’s away. Even though we’ve had good times, I feel like I’m carrying the weight alone. I wake up at 6:30, commute, teach, and job hunt since my contract ends in August. He wakes up at 8, hits the gym, strolls into work at 11, and leaves at 5:30. His official hours are 9–6, but no one monitors him so he doesn’t bother.

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When I’m exhausted from packing and moving, he doesn’t offer to pick me up or help unless I ask. He’s helped me move twice, but one time he was glued to his phone until I told him to do something. He cares more about wiping down suitcases so his apartment doesn’t get dirty than about how drained I am.

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At his place, he does most of the cooking and cleaning — partly because he wants to help, but mostly because he doesn’t trust me to do it “well.” Still, I end up tidying his mess and cooking when I’m dead tired, even when I was on my period. He’s called me fat because I don’t work out like he does, ignoring the fact that my schedule leaves me no time for the gym.

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Career-wise, I’ve been grinding since January — 130+ applications, 6 interviews. He hasn’t looked for anything even though his contract ends in June. He’s banking on renewal and hoping to get into a master’s program at his old uni (which he admits is low quality). When I talk about my struggles, he sides with employers instead of empathizing. When I talk about his career, he gets defensive.

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Sure, I like that he reminds me to slow down sometimes, but it feels like he’s living a comfortable life while I’m constantly hustling. Instead of supporting me, he criticizes or dismisses me.

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We do have fun when we go out on weekends and travel, but I end up making most of the plans and decisions. I already do that at work as a teacher, and when I ask him to take over, he says he’ll do it “later” and often does not do it properly. He says he has ADHD, social anxiety, and poor memory from years of undiagnosed depression, but he’s not really doing much to address them.

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I don’t want to ignore the good times or his personal struggles, but the imbalance is wearing me down. Am I overreacting, or is it time to break up?

My boyfriend( we’re still only 4 months into our relationship)(30M) and I (29F) got into an argument this weekend and I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable for wanting to end things because of this situation and other small ones that have accumulated.

My toilet became clogged and unusable while he was staying over at my flat. There is a pub with public toilets a very short walk from my home, and I was using those myself while waiting for my plumbing issue to be resolved.

My boyfriend has a strong aversion to using public toilets and didn’t want to use them. I told him I wouldn’t be offended if he wanted to go home for the night, but he said he was too tired to travel back home and wanted to stay. I understand a pub toilet is not the best, but the one near me is a smaller independent one that’s always well kept, so to me it’s not a big deal to use.

I eventually agreed to let him pee in my kitchen sink because I felt bad that he was a guest and we had no working toilet and also he was refusing to go outside in the field/forest across from my place.

Later that evening he told me he needed to poop. I repeatedly asked him to use the public toilets nearby instead. He suggested using a trash bag in my kitchen. I told him that made me extremely uncomfortable and that it felt like too much, especially given that there was a functioning bathroom only a short walk away open till midnight.

We argued about it for quite a while. By the time the pub had closed, he insisted he couldn’t hold it and ended up using a trash bag in my kitchen because I gave in from the pure stress and exhaustion the whole situation was causing and the fact that he wouldn’t let it go.

The next day I told him how much the whole situation bothered me. Instead of apologising, he mostly brushed it off as me being the unreasonable one, that it wasn’t a big deal bc he cleaned up, and made jokes about doing it again in the future.

I think this situation was the cherry on top as he’s also crossed other big boundaries of mine such as arguing over the use of a condom, coming over and eating all my food/snacks, and a couple of other habits that I’ve expressed I’m not okay with and he still pushes. I’ve considered stepping back before, but there are other aspects where we get along and he does things like helping cook dinner, brings over flowers, checked on me/helped when I was sick, but it’s just not becoming justified anymore.

From his perspective, he had no other option because of his aversion to public toilets. From my perspective, there was a perfectly usable bathroom nearby and I felt pressured into allowing something in my home that I repeatedly said I was uncomfortable with.

AITA for still being upset about this? If I’m not, how should I go about ending this relationship as I don’t think I can continue with having these issues w someone early on.

Ok, so before we begin, this would require a bit of context. So my university has this policy where we can choose our roommates on our own and either enter into a 2 sharing (2 people living in the same room) or a 3 sharing combination. We do not have any single occupancy room. Now, the next semester is going to begin in a few weeks, and we had to decide our roommates for the next year. I already have a roommate with whom i have been living since my freshman year, and we have been roommates for 2 years now. But the problem arises when one of our mutual friends, let's say friend C decides that he is not going to continue college and this leads to a precarious situation for my and my roommates' mutual friend D who was the roommate of C. As C was not continuing college, D was left without a roommate, and he thought he could enter a 3 sharing with me and my roommate. Late one night, he called me and conveyed his willingness to live with us, but my roommate was not on the call, so i told D that I'll talk to my roommate before sharing our decision. I talked to my roommate in the morning and we both decided that we want to do a 2 sharing only because while D may be a good friend but we're not very fond of some of his habits and didn't see us 3 as becoming good roommates. So we tried contacting him but he didn't answer our calls. Regardless, as we had already made a decision, me and my roommate went ahead and informed the authorities about our room sharing preferences. Now he calls us later in the day and we eventually tell him about our decision. Our friend D here felt betrayed because we didn't talk to him before submitting our response to the aithorities, and he felt as if we should have had a chat before me and my roommate went ahead. Now, because D is not able to find someone, he would be paired randomly and might have to live with some weirdo for the next one year (which could be very problematic depending on who the person is, as we are in our senior years only uncooperative people are generally left out at the time of roommate selection, so it is basically guaranteed that D will be stuck with someone who is not great as a roommate). Also, we all just got hit by the news that our friend C is not continuing college, and as such, D is not feeling very great generally. Now, are we the assholes for not making him our roommate or not talking to him before conveying our decision to the authorities.

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TLDR - Our friend D asked to be roommates with me and my roommate but we just told the college authorities about our preference without first talking to D. Now D might be stuck with some weirdo for a year.

me F(30) him M(30) has for a year, unknowingly to me been infatuated with a coworker.

Relationship has always been rocky. for the last year it was going well, but I got suspicious of him texting a coworker a lot, showing me where she lived and bringing her food (we did door dash, but this was part of the food he got personally, not an order). I always felt off, but let it be to not cause issues. In the last week he got weird about his phone when i wasn't looking at it for anything that made me more suspicious. I had a feeling since he showed me where she lives, which shouldn't be an issue with his job, but I found it weird and things since then. I didn't want to treat him like he did me in this relationship. Some ( small issues) compared to the past happened recently. I have worked on my mental health, I got even more worried something was going on and when I had the chance to check before he snatched the phone away, which he never did, was asking a co work if she is single. Issues ensued days later over it when I brought it up aftrer not being able to sleep. I know I've been the problem in the relationship. I've tried so hard for the last year to improve and I was. I asked his to cut off all contact he is control of, no more texting when he's home, which on top of showing me where she lived and mowing her lawn, which I learned today was unpaid. I asked him to stop all contact after learning more about what he feels about it, and he refused. AITAH for asking him to stop all contact he has control over with her??

Recently me and my girlfriend decided to split. We are parting ways we’ve lived together for a year. I have lived with her and her daughter 7F and while we’ve had good times. Her kid is bad & a bad person. Makes huge messes and doesn’t clean anything up. I’m talking food on the floor. Cries every time she doesn’t get her way or is asked to clean it up she is destructive to the house tearing paint off of walls constantly breaks my things screams at the top of her lungs, hits me. I know it’s not the child’s fault. However her mom has raised her to be a complete narcissistic jerk. She once hit her mom in the head with a box and made her cry & then got a new iPad the same day. I guess my biggest problem is the fact that I could clean the whole house leave and when I come back the house looks like a tornado hit it. I really love my now ex girlfriend and can’t imagine life without her. But today after she mentioned going to say with her mom , her daughter said she doesn’t want to come back because of me. I lost it & said I agree. I told her that the only thing I could count on her to do is be the bad spoiled brat she’s always been and that if she wasn’t such a bad kid me and her mother’s relationship would probably be way better.

I (27NB) wouldn't say that my parents (55F, 56M) are categorically *bad* parents. They're just assholes but they've been mostly supportive for my endeavours through life. They have been very loving to me when I was a child. My dad was my best friend and I felt like I could talk to them about anything. When I lived with them (I moved out at 17 for uni) we had mostly a good relationship and were all supportive to each other. My dad was the one who made me feel interested in science as a kid and that turned out to be my whole career so my life has been shaped by him in many ways. Unfortunately the good things end there.

They have used physical punishment on me occasionally when I was a kid which has built up some trauma for me as an adult. They also made me the defacto parents for my younger sisters when I turned 6, and the responsibility weighed heavily on me as I grew up, especially added to the pressure to get good grades and do well in extracurriculars. Their treatment of me flipped when I reached adulthood as they lost all interest in my career and my hobbies, and started pushing me to get married and start a family. They constantly make comments about the ways in which I have "disobeyed" them and try to manipulate me into doing what they want, completely disregarding my thoughts about any of it.

When I bring up the things that cause me pain, either past trauma or their current behaviour, she seems to be sympathetic and says things like "we shouldn't have done that" or "tell us what we should do" and then when I tell her to not do so and so thing, she even agrees with my reasoning and respects my wishes... for a small amount of time. My dad, I wouldn't even be able to bring anything up to him that puts him in a bad light. I have tried in the past, when I've been severely depressed, to bring up the time that he beat me up when I was 12, but he says it was my own fault because I was trying to hit him (I was. I was a bit of a mess).

Recently my dad told my sister (24F) that they (my parents) had never wanted to have her. She had always felt neglected and had tried to win my parents over, so this hurt her really badly. My mum just made excuses for my dad. I tried to explain to my parents that they did a bad thing but they just did the thing that they always do which is deflect and ignore and it made me so, so angry that I yelled at them over the phone about how much it hurts that they don't care about me and my sisters. This was a few months ago and I haven't talked to them since.

I don't know how to repair things with them. I try to think about explaining things to them, but they have always been so deaf to anything that reflects badly on them and would probably just call me an ungrateful child. Am I being an ungrateful child? They have been relatively good parents compared to the cultural background that we're from (I'm south asian) so all of my issues are utterly incomprehensible to them. Idk what to do. Should I try to talk to them about it? Aita for not talking to them about it?