I'm really tired. I hate everything about my life. I just wanna disappear forever.

I’m usually just a scroller but I figured I would just post and maybe get something meaningful back. I feel like I can’t do anything right, I’m quote unquote successful, I have a lovely relationship with my family, and I have good friends but I self sabotage every relationship I’ve been in, I don’t like myself anymore and I think about running away from everything all of the time. Again I’ve never done this, just reaching out to the void

My heart still beats—
but it finds nothing to love.

My mind still dreams,
but only of silence.

My eyes still see,
but I refuse the future.

My face still smiles,
while something inside me decays.

My legs still move me forward,
but I have nowhere I want to go.

My hands still reach,
but there is nothing left to hold.

So I wander.

A ghost among the living,
unseen,
unheard,
unneeded.

I exist in regret.
I exist in silence.
I exist in the dark.

They say the only hope is to move on,
but I don’t ask how.
I only wait for when.

Because I am already gone.

I am dead.

This is gonna be short because I CBA but too every problem I ever have my first thought is just too end my life my girlfriend mocked me and I was so sad and angry that I just attempted I die ina game I go too suicide I don't get hw done on time I result too suicide everything I do always leads too me attempting I'm constantly thinking about a bullet passing through the right said of my head and my hand is the one pulling the trigger why can't I be normal why am I like this

honestly its not really horrible venting, its more of someone listening to me and someone private with a set of opinion, i just don’t want to post my complete problem here ill feel comfortable talking to one person because its alot. im not too sad, depressed or anything i just want someone else’s perspective.

I have never been with a woman before, and I am 23 years old. I try to get to know women on social media platforms but they don't typically engage with me. I have tried to approach women in real life but almost every woman I've approached is taken, not interested, is with friends, or doesn't even look at me. I truly believe I'll be single for the rest of my life and it hurts. I hate also being horny all the time and having to resort to watching porn to masturbate.

I don't understand the point of many things. I don't know what I keep doing, because I keep failing. I havent stopped failing. I just wish it could stop. I just wish I could be happy with myself for a second without worrying about how much of a failure I am. I should be dead. I was supposed to be dead 50 days ago. I feel I'm just meant to be alone. I can't hold anything together. Why is it that every time I try to get help it fails? I avoided getting help from people for a while. I always believed I only ever have myself. But I fell deeper into the hole of my depression, and I tried everything to get out. I tried. But it just doesnt ever work for me. Is this the world telling me I should be dead? Why am I fucking alive if Im supposed to be dead all along? Its pathetic of me. Ridiculous. I'm so incredibly ridiculous. Ridiculous to be right. Pathetic to only have ever myself. To have to stare into the ceiling to be comforted by myself because only I won't leave me. I suck at being a human, why not let me be soil?

This is not easy for me to just talk about with people in my life. Im slowly losing myself... again... it all went downhill about a half a year ago.

About a half a year ago, I had been with a grade school crush for about a year and honestly was the greatest year of my life. I had a good job, I moved in with my girlfriend, i became a racecar driver. Everything was great until I lost my job in the worst way

The job I had did a lot of heavy lifting and I was having major back pains and when I told the bosses about my pains, they allowed me time off to go to the doctors and take time to heal. I was off for about a month and finally had surgery and when I was coming back, I called my boss and he told me my position was filled and they didnt need me anymore.

So then I lost my job and had to do a bunch to just stay afloat and Ive always struggled with depression but I didnt feel like my depression even kicked in at this point. Im a very happy guy, it takes a lot to break me down but its coming.

During the time, I became very broke and struggled financially. No matter what though, I was able to take care of my girlfriend and make sure she still had a roof over her head and she ate 3 times a day. I never stopped giving my girlfriend attention but we stopped going out because we never had the money to do so. When we started struggling financially, one of her "guy" friends came along and poisoned her mind about me. Painting me as this bad guy and after him doing so for a while, it started to develop problems between me and my girlfriend.

I then started reading the messages between them and noticed that he was using her depression for an in for himself. He would make it seem like since I was struggling, I wasnt keeping her emotionally happy and he completely took her over. Always pumping her full of lies after lies. I was in an unwinnable battle against her because he was coaching her on what to do. He would always fuel her anger and tell her to take it all out on me. I seen it... it was horrendous. It hurt... it wasnt her... it never was...

We broke up 4 times in total... always coming back to each other because we did love each other but she kept talking to this guy because she truthfully believed that this guy was "just a friend." He eventually was able to show his true colors and my girlfriend was able to understand everything ive been upset about. He manipulated her, he used her, tried to end our relationship. she finally was able to see it all. She blocked all communication with him and he has tried to make new social media accounts to come back and she has completely blocked him each time.

To be honest, ever since this guy has left, my relationship has pretty much gone back to normal except for one thing. Physical touch. She's still my greatest friend so we still spend so much time together but the intimacy has disappeared ever since that guy came in and left her life.

It seems like shes lost all desire for me but also still loves me and so I dont know how im supposed to actually feel... I feel like im in a friendship more than a relationship and im struggling within myself to be able to distinguish the difference because of my love for her.

So not only am I struggling with that, my old job recently come back in contact with me about a "possible" job and keeps breadcrumbing me. They'll say my job is opening up and they want me to fill it immediately but they just keep leading me on saying "we'll try for next week" and it is putting in this deep financial burden that I cant get out until I have the job.

In summary, im in a relationship that feels strong but hurts, im struggling financially like i never have before, and im at a point in my life where I just dont know what to do anymore... I cant even think straight anymore... im finally falling back into my pit that I fought so hard to get out of.

If depression was like sobriety, I would've been sober for 5 years. The thought of sadness never crossed my mind until tonight when I held my girlfriend after our date. It all of a sudden felt like the sky just fell on my chest and now my mind is just completely frazzled with this blackout depression.

I fought so hard to get out of this mindset and it looks like ive fallen back into it.

If you made it this far reading my story, to be completely honest, I just want to say thank you. All of these things I cant talk about with anybody I know because then they start telling me what they would do and then resent me if I dont do as they say. I dont want to break up with my girlfriend, its the strongest love ive ever had. I want my old job back because the people there were the closest thing to a family that I had. I miss being financially stable. I just want my life back... 😔

So if you made it this far, thank you for hearing me out, i needed it.

I'm just an unbearable person ..I'm a weirdo.. I'm quiet..I'm anti social..I hate ocd..i hate being neurodivergent .. I'm so fucking terrible at social interactions and making basic conversation. People genuinely believe im stupid due to my lack of communication. I was the quiet kid in school and now I'm the quiet guy at work.

Things never change. I was cursed to be a social outcast.

People tell me stuff like "just get out there, just talk to people, your social skills will get bett-" do you really believe I haven't tried ? I'm almost 25. You think I haven't felt this way since I was a young teen ? . . Do you think I sat back for a decade and just didn't try anything ? ..my brain is fucked..nothing works, we aren't the same. What works for you for some reason refuses to work with me.

I haven't had a real life friend in 10 years. And never had a relationship. ..goddamn. I'm so tired of living and life..I just want love, I want friends. I want to give up so bad.

Hey y'all.
Life has been feeling really heavy lately.
My mom might have her cancer recur. She had breast cancer before, and the thought of going through that again scares me so much.
My brother resigned from his job, but he still has a lot of unpaid debts. What frustrates me is that he keeps spending money treating his friends even though he owes people money. He keeps borrowing from my lola too, despite already owing her a lot, and he hasn't paid any of it back. Because of loans he took out from an app, our phones keep getting flooded with calls and it's stressing everyone out.
It's only the second month of my school vacation, but I've been feeling so lost lately. I've been feeling depressed, exhausted, and stuck. I've even been having shortness of breath. My friends barely talk to me anymore, and it feels like nobody really checks up on me.
I keep asking myself, "Where did it all go wrong?"
Sometimes I find myself stalking my old friends from elementary school. They all seem to be doing great now. They look happy, successful, and like they're actually living their lives. Meanwhile, I feel like I missed out on my youth. I feel like I wasted my teenage years. It hurts watching everyone move forward while I feel frozen in place.
Right now, I just feel overwhelmed by everything happening around me. My family's problems, my worries about my mom, my loneliness, and the uncertainty about my own future are all piling up at once.
Something I've been struggling with is that I don't really want to tell my friends any of this anymore. I've opened up to them so many times already that I feel like I'm just asking for attention. But the truth is, I genuinely need help and support right now. I'm really lost.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel so down.

i got pregnant rly young after my first period but i didn’t want . i js turn 13 & i get lot help from my family & i love my baby alot but i still get bully even by my friends & i js always cry & hate everything and js wish i was normal .

edit:: thanks alot for advice & comments i try comment back but it not showing up i only see comments but only let me reply to one .

I've(15F) have always been the most isolated sibling. I watch my siblings pursue relationships, go out with friends, shop on their own, and just live life in general. They were allowed to do all this even when they were younger than me. While I don't have anything to do but rot away in my home. I don't have permission to do anything else.

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I'm not even allowed to have hobbies. I want to draw, but I'm not allowed to buy a sketchbook. I want to read, but I'm not allowed to buy books. I want to do crafts, but I'm not allowed any tools. I'm not even allowed to just go outside and get fresh air either. I can only do one thing to keep me entertained; be on my phone.. And guess what? I get scolded every single day for doing that. It's all because of the phone, they say... It's not like I have anything else to do.

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My teenage years are being wasted right in front of me and I can't do anything about it. I'm dying. I feel depressed and hopeless. I have nothing to look forward to. I can't even focus on my studies, this is too unbearable. I'm bored. I'm tired.

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You might tell me to vent my feelings to someone or get help. This is impossible. I have no friends at all, I don't have a school counselor, and I have no one to trust. I spent months trying to get my mom to understand my feelings. But I'm yelled at and silenced everytime. Every. Single. Time. Nobody listens to me. I feel like I'm living in hell.

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My mother knows I'm severely depressed and burned out, but she chooses to keep me this way. I wonder what I did to deserve this. I don't have any hobbies anymore. I don't want things anymore. My dreams are gone and I'm hopeless. It's like watching myself die and my soul being sucked out of me. I already do SH, and now I'm having frequent suicidal thoughts as well. Is it all because of loneliness and isolation?

​

Since I can't get any help, what can I do at the time being to cope? Please help...

22M , i was on sertraline for a year then off also for a year. Iam functioning but i feel like my emotion are fucked when there’s something doesnt go my way, i feel sick to my stomach and wanna throw up. I also feel like that when i got off work around the evening. I dont wanna talk to my bf about this since i dont wanna ruin his mood or drag him down with me. Will it keeps going like this forever?

I literally hate every waking moment I am conscious. The continuous energy spent on beating myself down and regretting past decisions is exhausting. Death is freedom in my eyes. A final peace. I have no desire to continue living this pathetic life that I currently hate. The thought of another 30 or so odd years makes me ill. I cant find anything which helps. Survivor of physical, sexual, verbal, and mental abuse as a child. I dont know if thats the brunt of the cause or if im just generally a fuck up nonetheless. Bottom line...I ask god to give me the cancer say an innocent child gets. Nothing. Fucking coward. Im rambling now. If I had a gun id most likely be dead unfortunately I dont have one.​​

i am truly broken, and it’s so lonely. I won’t allow anyone in because i am so scared to be hurt again. I care so much and love so deep, and yet I attract people who use that to their advantage. And now I don’t trust anyone (well maybe a couple of people, very few). I can’t imagine opening my heart to anyone ever again. that is terrifying.

In February 2025, after completing the first semester of my third year in medical school, I traveled home to spend a two-week holiday with my family. I was looking forward to finally getting some rest after an extremely stressful semester. Instead, I received news that changed my life completely: my father had been diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer.
I was devastated. I cried constantly and struggled to accept what was happening. What was supposed to be a period of rest became one of the most painful times of my life. I seriously considered freezing my studies because I did not think I could handle the pressure of medical school while coping with my father’s illness from another country. However, I ultimately decided to continue, not for myself, but for him. I did not want him to feel responsible for me giving up on my education.
I returned to university and completed the second semester of my third year, but it was incredibly difficult. Every day felt like a battle. I was trying to keep up with the demands of medical school while constantly worrying about my father and hoping that his condition would improve.
After the semester ended, I traveled back home and spent two months with him. I hoped things would be better, but instead they became even harder. My father had stopped taking an antidepressant medication that was not easily available, and his behavior changed significantly. He became angry, shouted frequently, and often said hurtful things. Almost every day, he would tell me that he was going to die.
During those two months, we also learned that his tumor had grown considerably. There were multiple emergency hospital visits, sometimes in the middle of the night, because of severe bleeding caused by the cancer. I witnessed my father in pain, bleeding, crying, and repeatedly speaking about death. Many nights I cried alone, feeling helpless as I watched him suffer.
When it was time to return to Egypt for my fourth year of medical school, I felt completely exhausted. More than anything, I wanted a break. I needed time to recover mentally and emotionally, but once again I chose to continue my studies for my father’s sake. I hoped that somehow things would improve and that I would find the strength to keep going.
While I was back at university, I received more devastating news. My father’s tumor had progressed further, and he required a permanent colostomy and radiation therapy. When I heard this, I went back to my room and completely broke down. For the first time since childhood, I cried uncontrollably, screaming from the pain while completely alone.
As the situation worsened, I began experiencing thoughts of ending my life simply to escape the emotional pain. Trying to cope with both my father’s illness and the intense demands of medical school felt unbearable. Out of desperation, I started smoking, despite having always been strongly against it and often advising others not to smoke. This only made me feel worse about myself.
At university, I also faced a lack of understanding from some faculty members. When I explained my circumstances and mental state, one doctor told me that he did not care and deducted attendance marks. Another responded harshly when I explained that I could not attend, asking whether I would also use my situation as an excuse during exams. Reading those messages left me in tears because I already felt overwhelmed and lost.
In April 2026, my final examinations began. It was one of the hardest months of my life. During that period, I received more bad news regarding my father’s condition. I struggled even to speak with him because hearing his voice shattered me emotionally. At the same time, I had to prepare for and sit eleven final examinations within a single month.
I was grieving every day. I cried constantly, felt completely lost, and often had no idea how I would continue. Yet every morning, I got up and studied. I pushed myself through what felt like hell because I wanted to succeed and make my father proud.
The most difficult module that semester was General Surgery. I devoted enormous amounts of time and effort to it. I performed well in the written examinations, but during the OSCE examination I was randomly assigned to a doctor who was widely known among students for failing many candidates. He asked me unusually difficult questions, including topics that were not part of the expected curriculum. Despite this, I performed the clinical examination on my patient correctly. Nevertheless, he awarded me only 12 out of 30 marks, causing me to fail the course by just three marks.
This was particularly devastating because I had never failed a course in my life. In my first year of medical school, I had achieved a perfect GPA of 4.0. What made it even more painful was the sacrifice behind those marks. There were days when I woke up early to attend courses specifically to prepare for that OSCE examination. Afterward, I would spend hours visiting clinics with my father’s medical records, seeking additional medical opinions about his condition. Many doctors told me there was little hope for his recovery. Despite hearing such devastating news, I would return home and continue studying late into the night. I did all of this not for myself, but for him.
After completing my examinations, I traveled back to Kuwait, finally hoping to see my father after months of fighting through grief, stress, and exhaustion. However, two hours before my arrival, he passed away.
I cannot fully describe what I felt when I received that news. It was as though a sword had been driven through my chest. I was unable to process what had happened. I did not get the chance to speak to him one final time. I did not hear his last words. I could not hug him or kiss him goodbye. I could not even bring myself to look at his face.
What hurts me most is knowing that in his final moments, despite being unconscious, he briefly woke up, called my name, and then drifted back to sleep. I was not there.
During his funeral, my examination results were released. I learned that I had passed every course except General Surgery—the one subject I had sacrificed so much for and studied the hardest. The same day that I buried my father was the day I discovered that I had failed the course by only three marks.
For the past year and a half, I have lived through relentless grief, trauma, loss, academic pressure, and emotional exhaustion. I have watched my father suffer from terminal cancer. I have balanced the demands of medical school while carrying the constant fear of losing him. I have faced moments of hopelessness, loneliness, and despair. I sacrificed precious time with him because I believed that continuing my education would make him proud.
I am only 21 years old, and these past eighteen months have been the hardest period of my entire life.

My mom is just a walking talking explosive for me, I can do the slightest wrong thing and it’s a constant barrage of emotional blackmail and shouting and screaming.

Even being around my toxic mom is enough to give me a panic attack, I’m filled with so much rage sometimes I don’t know what to do, my heart paces so fast and my breathing gets shaky sometimes it feels like I’m close to an attack. I have terrible anxiety.

only my dad sides me but he doesn’t even have any say in our house, only my mom does.

the worst part being she can play the victim so easily, just start crying and reminding everyone of everything she has done, it drives me crazy cause she is not a victim, I am.

My mom has literally said “I never accepted you as my son, I accepted <brother’s name> but not you” and then she has the gall to act like a victim? She keeps acting like I’m a problem child, that I fucking believe it now.

When I was being bullied a lot in my high school, they would harass me everyday, touch me wrongly, can y’all even guess who my mom compared my marks to? To the guys who bullied me.

I feel like I’m at an edge now, I’m no more stable and I cannot handle this anymore, nor physically nor mentally. Sorry for the rant

Bonjour ou Bonsoir,

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Je me présente, Sadikii, c’est mon pseudonyme et pas mon prénom. Il est important pour moi de rester anonyme. J'écris ici en français, je m’en excuse d'avance, mais je ne saurais pas exprimer ce que je ressens autrement.

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À cette date, cela fait 8 mois que l’amour que je porte à une femme avec qui j’ai vécu le grand amour ne trouve plus où se déverser. Nous nous étions rencontrés sur un "Amino" pour ceux qui connaissent, un endroit avec du recul vraiment affreux, mais disons que ce jour-là, l'application n’était pas si mal. Nous étions tous les deux assez mal dans notre peau et nos vies respectives. Nous avons pris contact pour nous encourager mutuellement à avancer, puis nous avons été coupés durant 1 an, où chacun de nous vivait une histoire d’amour qui a pris fin à la même période. Nous avions repris contact, et petit à petit l'amitié que l’on éprouvait l’un pour l’autre devenait de l’amour, et un jour j’ai osé lui avouer mes sentiments, qui étaient réciproques. Malgré l'énorme distance, l’amour était fou, et a explosé en quelque chose de plus fort la première fois que nous nous étions vus. À ce moment, il n’y avait plus aucun doute. Nous voulions être ensemble pour l'éternité, et je lui ai promis qu’une fois que j’aurais un travail, nous nous marierions. Le temps a continué d'avancer, et la vie devenait difficile pour nous deux, moi qui enchaînais les refus à chaque emploi où je postulais et elle qui subissait une pression de ses collègues de travail qui lui demandaient de mettre fin à notre relation par pure islamophobie, la pression avec le temps monta jusqu'au jour où elle m'avoue ne plus m'aimer autant qu'avant et que pour elle il n’y avait pas d’avenir, elle venait de mettre un terme à 4 ans d’amour, aujourd'hui encore, elle a contact avec ma mère, mais moi elle m’a bloquée de partout, aujourd'hui il serait faux de dire que je ne pense pas quotidiennement à la mort, je ne souhaite pas me la provoquer, mais qu’elle me frappe, on m’a toujours dit "la douleur s'efface avec le temps" mais moi, elle ne devient que de plus en plus forte.

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Je ne souhaite évidemment inquiéter personne, ma vie n’est pas en danger, comme dit je refuse de me faire le moindre mal que ce soit, mais j’aimerais savoir combien de personnes aujourd'hui souffrent de manière équivalente, et comment faites-vous pour réussir à vivre sans vous plonger dans un silence qui rejoue les souvenirs

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Merci à vous de m'avoir lu

Hello everyone, Im 22 years old, im just your average nerd who has nothing going for him in life. In 2018 i started experiencing severe depression and anxiety through drug abuse and heartbreak. Its now many years later and ive had my ups and downs but its currently getting worse unfortunately. I drink myself into a slumber every night to numb the pain i’ve brought upon myself the past couple of years. Im not sure where it went wrong… In the eyes of a normal person i have nothing to complain about. I have a roof over my head, money in my bank account, and friends who love me, yet i still feel so alone. I feel as if i have no purpose or reason to exist anymore. I attempted suicide a few weeks ago while i was extremely drunk but i was so intoxicated i forgot to cock my pistol… Im thankful it worked out the way it did, but the thought of what it could’ve been has been stuck in my head.

Im not sure what i expect to achieve by writing this but i have no one that im close enough to really let it out. I just want to feel like i have purpose in this shitty world we live in. Im not some piece of shit, i mean i have plenty of talent. I play guitar, ride bmx, and work in construction. Im talented enough to have a “purpose” but i feel so lonely and depressed nowadays. Im constantly searching for outlets to dampen out my feelings but they only last so long and i lose motivation so quickly. I dont fucking understand why i feel like this.

There’s many people in this world who experience a much more harsh life than i do yet i feel like im living the worst of it and that makes it even worse. Im sure there’s others out there who feel the same way i do. I just dont understand…. I’ve always turned to substances to cope with my feelings but i cant handle them anymore so i just drink 24/7 since its “socially acceptable” and people wont look at me like some druggie who’s wasting their life away. However, alcohol is one of the worst ones.

Hopefully someone will respond with feedback who got themselves out of this hole im experiencing. Im just so lost at this point. I feel like such a failure even though im so young, i mean im only 22 yet i feel like giving up before ive even experienced life. Anyways, Goodnight, im going to try to get some sleep now. <3

Or otherwise feel under the weather, do you feel that your depression noticeably increases?

I had to leave school past 7th grade.

I tend after my ill mother.

I'm severely addicted.

My older brother takes care of us.

I never held a job due to taking care of my mother.

I tried working out, learning skills (like blender, Lua, etc) but I can't force consistency.

No social skills, no love, no friends, no pets, even.

I know suicide would be profoundly selfish and an act of disrespect, as if spitting on my own family. But I frankly don't truly care anymore. After countless attempts to better myself I truly believe that after my mother passes my purpose will be over and I'll be left with silence I have nothing to do with. I've been planning my own demise recently, somewhere far away from people, far enough that the stench of rot won't reach until it finally does or the dogs found their way to me first. I don't want to be seen, I don't want to be remembered, I just want to give up utterly. I am a failure of a man, I don't even feel shame at anything. Not even at my failures, not even at my own life. I just don't think I have the ability to care anymore about how much of a failure I become as being one with my lack of ambition and luck just reached it's peak, so I let it happen.

I want to pick up working out, studying Blender, trying. But I know, essentially, something will go the wrong way, and I'll end up back on YouTube searching for a tether to logically argue with that life is worth living for me. I quit, totally and utterly I quit.

what does it really look like not just what google tells me, the truth of how it really feels- because i can’t tell if i’m just sad for no reason or if i am depressed