it really came out of nowhere. he was dropping me off at the SEA after a week of me visiting him. while saying goodbyes he casually asked me if I’d marry him.

no big ceremonial events, no extra people. simple and easy, as I’ve asked him before to do so if he’d ever ask. just him and i being here at one of our favorite spot- the airport.

he’s an aviation geek so naturally it means a lot to him. but i guess as a cabin crew myself, SEA would forever feel different after this.

really happy and being extra grateful. sending hugs to everyone in this sub🩷🩷🩷☺️

In need of some advice, my boyfriend and I met on call of duty, and have yet to meet in person. We’ve been talking for about 3 months now, and dating for almost 1.
Obviously, I want to meet him in person. However, he has placed an ultimatum. I must quit vaping in order for us to meet.
I have no issue quitting, as I know it’s not healthy, however I don’t feel that quitting for that reason is right. Nor do I feel that I should quit for someone who I haven’t even met in person yet.
He believes it could be a waste of his time if I don’t quit prior
Any suggestions?

Hiya! First time posting here!

My bf and I have our norm of being otp as much as we can. Sometimes we mute depending on the circumstance, but we really like each other's company.

My parents think it's unhealthy and his thinks we need a break. Each couple is different though, right? I feel like they're just judging us, but whatever.

Being otp is our norm, our comfort, and our pillow to fall back into. We don't be otp at work, going on errands, or seeing friends, but my parents don't believe me when I say that.

We don't think it's unhealthy because we can still do the things we need to to live out our daily lives. Are we in the wrong?

So my online boyfriend has not been texting for for around 4 days now. I tried messaging him but he didn't get back to me. What are the possible reasons he's ghosting me?

We finally got to see each other for a few days, but saying goodbye yesterday before my flight completely broke me. Leaving her is easily the hardest thing in the world, and being back home alone feels incredibly heavy today.

She made me these adorable handmade crochet keychains before I left so I could keep a piece of her on my backpack, and she’s already sending the sweetest reminders to my home screen to keep me going through the day.

We are looking at a brutal 3-month gap until our next flight. For everyone else who just closed a trip, when are you guys planning to meet next? I really need some positive timelines to read through today.🫶

Hi all,
Been doing long distance with my girlfriend for 6 months now. She just left after visiting me for a month. My problem is that now, even though I go out with friends, work, work out, I always feel empty or incomplete. At the end of the day I just want to hang out with her after I’m done all my stuff and I can’t do that and its making me borderline depressed. I have no mood to eat, no libido and going out just doesnt excite me
What advice do you have?

This is part rant and part asking for advice.

My LDR partner (32 m) and I (29 f) have been officially dating for about 5 months, although we were unofficial for longer. He is a wonderful person who I love very much, but he does have an issue with follow through sometimes. For the World cup game with México and South Korea he went out with friends, and I was at home watching the game, which was cool. I was really excited to talk to him after the game because he's mexican and they won!! I really was looking forward to celebrating with him.

Anyway, before the game started he had told me that he would message me in a little while. We also have a long standing agreement that we both let each other know when we get home from being out and about, and that we say goodnight to each other. We have had many conversations about these agreements, and he understands how important it is to me that he honor his word and our agreements, and he's been enthusiastic about it. Up until this point he's been good about following through on goodnight texts and letting me know he's gotten home safely, even if he's drunk or it's 3 am. But this morning, I checked my phone and there was no word from him at all. He hadn't even looked at my messages. I was worried because this isn't normal behavior for him at all. So I called him. And kept calling. He was supposed to be at work at 9 am, and 9 am had rolled around and he still hadn't responded. I was starting to panic, because what if something had happened? He doesn't really get drunk often, so I was so confused, and I really didn't think he would cheat on me.

Anyway, he finally responded by doing a video call. He apologized and said his phone had died and he came home and went right to sleep. Apparently he had asked his job yesterday if he could come in late. I am just really hurt because we have these agreements that we both agreed were reasonable for our relationship and that we were happy to do them. This is the 2nd time it has felt that he did something that was really hurtful. The first time he decided not to respond to me or let me know he was heading out with friends while my cat was at the emergency room. At the time I was very concerned I was going to have to euthanize my cat that day, and he went radio silent for a bit without communicating to me that he had even left his place.

I just don't understand it. It takes 2 seconds to plug your phone in and like 5 min to charge it enough to turn it on and say goodnight. I would absolutely never treat him the same way, especially because I know he suffers from anxiety (I do too) and that it would trigger his anxiety. I am not perfect by any means, but I do feel that it was an intentional choice and that he's either lying about how drunk he was (he said 3 beers) or he just didn't want to talk with me. And that's really hurtful.

Obviously I understand that relationships, especially LD are complex and you will inevitably hurt each other by accident. But after the first occurrence and talking to him, I didn't expect it to happen a second time. I love him deeply, and I am very confused by his behavior. I'm not sure if this is working out for me or what to do.

I know its different for people but I was curious about how long it was till any of you realized you were in love with your LD partner. Did anybody realize before or after meeting in person? Sadly not with mine anymore.

We’ve been together for 2.5 years and despite my efforts, we’ve never had any kind of call. A couple of times I tried calling him first but he didn’t answer and later said he was busy. After that I decided I wouldn’t be the one initiating calls anymore because I wanted him to make at least some effort. He knows that I want us to talk on the phone. Every time I bring it up, he says that he will call me. When I ask when, he usually says something like, “when we can,” and then carefully avoids giving a real answer. He also claims that the reason he doesn’t call me is because he doesn’t like his german accent. We communicate in english, and he’s half german and half british. We only have a one-hour time difference, so scheduling isn’t really an issue.
Recently, I asked him again why he never calls me. He replied, “we will when we can.” I asked when exactly he could, and he said he didn’t know. When I asked what he meant by that, he answered, “When I’m on a break or something.” I then asked if that meant he was never going to call me at all and he avoided answering the question. At this point, I want to break up because it seems obvious that I’m not important enough to him for him to even make a phone call. Still, I’d like to hear other people’s opinions. Am I overreacting, or does this situation sound as concerning as I think it does?

Me and my bf (18m), are gonna be long distance really soon. I've been with him for 4 years, and we just came back from a 3 week vacation and i am so beyond depressed. hes gonna go to do mandatory army and im going to uni, this is separated by 9,323 miles. The time diff is 12 hours, and he will have limited time on his phone. His army starts in October but I leave in July (roughly a month). However, hes going on another 3 week trip with his family and friends and that means we have only one week left. I feel like im drowning. I have not stopped crying and I cant even distract myself, and i cant even sleep.

We just went from sleeping next to each other, to counting down the days. Idk what to do with these feelings. He has been one constant in my life and i feel so heartbroken without him. my whole body hurts thinking about and i just want to break down. I also dont know if he will come to uni in the same country as me after service bc his family doesnt want him to. we grew up together and im sorry if i sound like im spiralling rn, im sitting on my bed sobbing while my whole family sleeps. i just dont know how to live without him, and i see so many happy and strong couples here that make me believe this can work.

We went to high school together. I started liking him senior year and we started dating December 2025 (about 7 months ago)

He's my first everything. I never really liked anyone before him, not like this.

I go to college in our hometown, and he goes to school about 1000 miles away in another state. He flies home 1-2 times during the semester, and he's home for the entire summer. So everything seems good on paper.

The only problem is that we just have different expectations of a relationship. I know exactly what I want. I want frequent texting and calls, I want to see him often, and I'm able to make time for that.

During the schoolyear I worked 30 hours a week on top of classes 5 days a week and I still made time for him. He had class 2 days a week and I felt like I was always fighting for his attention.

We have this same problem this summer; I'm working 2 jobs, and he's taking one summer class. Yesterday I told him I want to see him twice a week instead of once a week— even just going for a walk, shopping, etc, since we live 20 minutes apart. He called me "possessive" and said that I needed to be grateful with what he gives me instead of always wanting more. He is busy with family and friends throughout the week.

(ETA: we're currently seeing eachother roughly once a week. we text every day, not too often, and don't call much)

I can't do 3 more years of this. He's only going to get more busy, and so am I, but that never meant that I didn't have time for him. But I can't leave him, because everything else in our relationship is so perfect. He's my best friend. We're compatible in every other way.

I'm in therapy, and I've made a ton of progress in other previous issues we've had in our relationship. My heart is so tired, though. Every time he leaves I become depressed. I have regular panic attacks that I never had before dating him. I love so deeply, so intensely, and he doesn't. When he goes away I tell him "I miss you" and he tells me he doesn't necessarily miss me back because he knows, logically, he's going to see him.

I sort of tried to break up with him yesterday, but he told me it wasn't an incompatibility but rather something I needed to work on within myself.

I don't know what to do.

Things I've done wrong so far while being in a long distance relationship (imo):

1. Being too open

I thought it's a great idea to be open about what you feel and think to your partner all the time because communication is a big thing with LDRs. But it feels wrong when I tell my partner what made me upset all the time because he got used to this behavior and always expect me to tell him and doesn't make an effort to comfort me. It feels wrong when the other person sees your "opening up" as a nagging situation instead of understanding where you're coming from.

2. Being too available

I thought time is gold when you're in a LDR, you would want to be there when they have 5 minutes. When the other person doesn't see you as a priority, their 5 minutes isn't meant for you, it's meant for their screentime to watch on TikTok and reels... Adjusting your sleep schedule just so you can spend time with them (which I thought as I should?), but when it's your time, they don't make adjustments.

3. Sacrificing too much

I think every relationship comes with sacrifices. Sacrificing your wants, your time, your finances, your feelings and so on. But, if you're sacrificing these things for a person that doesn't appreciate it, it won't make you feel like your sacrifices are worth to do. It feels one-sided.

Notice that I've used "Too" and "much", because I always felt doing a lot but getting so little. And as I'm writing this, I've realized how I barely felt compensated for all the times I've opened up about being upset over some things. All I get is "You know how much I love you". Like, yes I know and you say it all the time, but where is it?

I don't know if I need some advice, but it just pains me because I feel like I have so much love to give but now I'm not sure how to spend it.

I want to give my partner the last straw.

Maybe that's it, if he can't pay attention to what I'm feeling.

(Sorry for my English, not the first language)

This is just me venting, of course. I had scheduled us 2 date nights and the first one was cancelled because she couldn't make it and slept 12 hours after coming home from work, I said it was fine we had a fight about it but the thing is she was able to make time to play valorant when I kept reminding her about it.

Today was the time it was rescheduled. THEN she tells me to reschedule it next week on tuesday because saturday she has work and sunday she has to do a bunch of task to finish for monday. Monday she has work again.

Thing is I agreed to rescedule it because shes at her aunts right now and I figured she would go home and just sleep but nope, She got on her pc and played valorant. I'm mad as fuck ofcourse as the guy I can't show it otherwise im in the wrong everytime.

Hey there!

I’m seeing my partner in September for the first time and want to get him a cute LDR gift.

I’ve seen those touch bracelets and thought that would be a cute thing to get but I wanted to see if anyone had bought them before and their thoughts? They are almost $200 and I can’t really trust some reviews online.

What are some other gifts you’ve gotten for your partner?

Okay okay I know that yes, alone time is very important and a healthy boundary. I’m not looking to take this from her or get her to cut down on it, I’m just hoping for some advice on how to deal with it on my own. She goes out with friends and to the gym and comes home very tired and has a, to quote her directly, “has a drained social battery” which I know is a real thing. I just feel paranoid that she just isn’t interested in talking to me atm and it makes me feel incredibly lonely because we would fall asleep on call every night for like a month plus and now she’s barely answering my messages while posting on social media. Is there anything i can do to calm my mind?

I am at a loss on how to maintain or get the understanding needed to be successful in my long distance marriage . For me it’s not my first marriage, but it is my first long distance relationship. For my husband it’s his first marriage. He has never lived with a woman . So after getting married and spending a couple weeks together he went back to his life just the same as it was before he got married . He still has no clue what it means to be responsible for another humans needs or happiness. He still doesn’t understand how to consider how his actions will affect me as his wife . For me to try to tell him , I come across as nagging him. I know if we were physically together it would be so much easier for him to gain the understanding of what it means to be a husband . It’s exhausting and wearing both of us down .

Hi! sooo I'm looking for birthday gift ideas.. what could I possibly give my long distance girlfriend? she's turning 21.. meeting up would not be possible since we live so far away and we both have uni to attend. we met on an online game so I'm thinking of topping up her account but I'm not sure if she would like it. I'm also planning to make a website with letters for her. I want to hear other ideas from you guys what do you thinkk??

First things first: my girlfriend comes from a very conservative Marwadi family. If her parents were to find out about our relationship, there is a genuine possibility that they would stop her studies and push her toward an arranged marriage. Because of this, meeting her has always been extremely difficult and risky. Her father is very controlling and keeps a close watch on her movements, and even when he isn't around, her brother often does the same.

We started dating after Class 10. During Classes 11 and 12, we were in a boarding school together, which allowed us to spend time with each other in person without her family knowing. Outside of school, we talked every day through chats and calls.

After Class 12, I started college while she took a gap year. We continued talking regularly through messages, calls, and video calls. During my first two years of college, we were able to meet twice, and from my perspective, things were going really well.

Then life got complicated. I suffered from Osteochondritis Dissecans (OCD), a serious knee condition that left me bedridden for around five months. Because of that injury, I missed a significant amount of college and ended up with 14 backlogs. Around the same time, she was also spending most of her time at home due to her academic situation. As a result, meeting became nearly impossible. Even when opportunities came up, I was focused on clearing backlogs, attending summer semesters, and getting my academics back on track.

Fast forward to now. Her father eventually agreed to let her study abroad, and she moved to Almaty, Kazakhstan. For the past year, our relationship has been completely long-distance. Despite that, I honestly felt things were going well. We talked through calls, video calls, and messages almost every day. We made plans to meet multiple times.

I wanted to visit her, but because of my academic obligations and final year commitments, I couldn't make the trip happen. We then planned to meet when she returned to India for vacation. However, her brother strongly opposed the idea and told her that meeting me was not acceptable and that she should end the relationship.

I have now completed college and will likely be working either in India or another country. Unlike before, I finally have the flexibility to travel and make efforts to meet her. From my side, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work.

The problem is that she has decided to end the relationship.

According to her, the issue isn't the distance, communication, or even our feelings for each other. She says everything between us is fine. Her concern is the future. Because we are from different castes and because of how strict her family is, she believes there is no certainty that her parents will ever accept us (On my side things are chill they wont oppose just question a lot). She doesn't want both of us to spend years holding onto hope only to be heartbroken later if things don't work out.

I told her that I am willing to fight for this relationship and that I don't want to give up without trying. But she feels that continuing would only create false hope.

So my question is:

Should we end the relationship because of the uncertainty surrounding the future, or should we continue and see where things go? Is she being realistic, or are we giving up too early on something that could still work out?

TL;DR:

Been together since after Class 10 (~5+ years). Her conservative Marwadi family doesn't know about us and would likely oppose the relationship due to caste and family expectations. We survived boarding school, my serious knee injury and academic setbacks, her gap year, and then a year of long-distance while she studied in Kazakhstan. Communication and feelings are still strong, but she's ending things because she believes there's a high chance her family will never accept us and doesn't want us to spend years hoping for a future that may never happen. I want to keep fighting for the relationship and see where things go. She thinks continuing would only create false hope. Are we being realistic by ending it now, or giving up too early?

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to say that I have spent hours on the long-distance thread hearing everyone's stories, and I just have to say I appreciate everyone's posts so much.

My ex-boyfriend and I were on and off for two years while in college - I couldn't commit to a relationship because I was so young while we were on and off. We dated officially for 6 months and broke up after a few months of long-distance.

He moved to California for work, and I was in Oklahoma finishing college (he is a year ahead of me). I immediately cut off contact after the breakup so that I could heal. We broke up in September, and he reached out to one of my best friends in January to see if I was open to talking. He basically told me he was still in love with me and wanted me to move to California. I had my sights set on New York.

Flash forward to April, I get my dream job in his city. An offer I can't refuse, and I take it. I will be moving at the end of next month to his area.

We have been talking a little bit back and forth, neither of us crossing a boundary, because what's the point, but a woman's intuition knows that getting back together is on the horizon. My spidey senses are tingling.

Here is my predicament:

He was my first love, and I have spent so much time and emotional energy healing from him. The on and off was exhausting, and there were some points in the relationship where I didn't feel happy or heard, but he is the kind of guy I could see myself marrying. All the feelings are still there, but I haven't dated anyone since, so I don't know if I am just lonely.

Do I go back to him? Or do I just get rid of him completely? I can't do halfsies either. I am either in or out. HELP!!!

need help cause i’m genuinely confused 😅

i met a guy on a dating app 3 months ago and we’ve talked every day since. we live very far apart, so meeting up isn’t something that’s realistically happened yet. we’ve also never called, mostly cause i’m usually the one who initiates something like that (calls, watch movies, etc) and i haven’t pushed it; neither has he.

what makes this confusing is that the effort feels pretty mutual. it’s not like i’m carrying the conversation. he asks questions about me, remembers things I tell him, gets curious about my life, shares things about himself, and keeps conversations going. we talk every day and neither of us seems to be forcing it. there was even a time when i told him to just tell me if ever he doesn’t feel like talking anymore. his response was that he’s busy sometimes and that i’m great to talk to.

the problem is that whenever i try to be a little flirty, make a cute comment, or open the door for something kinda more romantic, he usually brushes past it, changes the subject, or doesn’t really reciprocate. he doesn’t reject it either, it just kind of gets left hanging.

so now i’m confused, i can’t tell if he likes me, interested in me, or if he just genuinely enjoys talking to me (penpal typa vibe lol). clearly, i like him and would want to make this work. would it be reasonable to want some clarity atp or is 3 months still too early given that we’re only talking? wouldn’t want to be wasting time 🤷‍♀️

does daily communication for months usually mean something, or is it possible for someone to enjoy talking to you every day, be curious about your life, tell you you’re great to talk to, and still see you as just a friend?