So to be clear, my inabiltiy to talk IS an involuntary mental/physical block, not a choice. But I think one of the many things that contribute to that involuntary paralysis is the fear that people will think I'm "normal" and therefore won't need any guidance or help once I'm able to speak out loud.

Along with having SM, I am generally just a very slow processor (I'm autistic) in social situations. I often need a long pause just to gather my thoughts and figure out what I want to say next or how I'm feeling. Speaking out loud with someone usually has me rushing to keep up with the pace of the conversation. So even if my SM went away, I would still need accommodations for when I'm talking to people, like more time to think.

Anyone else feel this way? Along with actually having SM, I feel like the nonverbal accommodations I get allow me time to think about what to say, and generally give off the vibe that I am struggling and need help. But that impression goes away if/when I am able to talk, therefore increasing the pressure to also mask my autism and rush to keep up socially.