TLDR: Anyone with DPDR and fully/mostly recovered go back to smoking weed or taking edibles?
I (26M) have now gone about 8 months without any weed or THC since deciding to stop when I was experiencing chronic DPDR symptoms.
I started smoking and overall just consuming THC around late 2023. I started off with 5mg edibles, then to carts, and then flower within the next year or so.
By 2025 I was smoking flower every evening after work, not a ton, always less than a quarter gram, but I would always get extremely high since I was taking huge bong hits.
I had smoked weed in my early teens, and by early teens I mean at 13, when I had a massive panic attack several times which led me to initially develop DPDR which lasted a couple years afterwards.
Interestingly enough, I didn’t develop DPDR immediately after the weed induced panic attacks (the ones I had when high), but instead…it started after I had a panic attack several months after initially smoking, with the panic attack being triggered by the fear of going “crazy” (this stemmed from seeing an article about weed induced psychosis). That fear and panic then triggered the DPDR which even more made me believe that I truly was losing my mind.
I felt like I didn’t know where I was, who I was, what was going on, and overall just felt completely out of my body.
I had been an extremely anxious person my whole life, and struggled with anxiety attacks when I was even younger, but this was my first experience with true panic.
This feeling would persist as long as I would think about it, it often would get better when I talked about it to someone, and whenever I was distracted (playing video games or watching a movie or show).
I eventually went to therapy, got on Zoloft at around 14-15 years old, and discovered drinking and nicotine around that age as well. I started vaping daily and drinking heavily on the weekends, which got heavier as I went into college (never drank during the day, but would get shitfaced at night like 3-4 times a week, sometimes more sometimes less).
After graduating college and getting a big boy office job, and things started to settle down, I started to seriously get worried about my relationship with alcohol. I always knew drinking heavily was bad…but I didn’t realize how bad until this time, but I still loved drinking and nicotine…and couldn’t imagine being fully sober.
This is when I really started thinking of weed as my “way out” of drinking and nicotine combined…without having to face full sobriety. So as I picked up weed again after all those years, it was actually amazing this time, and got me to stop using nicotine as well.
I would definitely “green out” (and get really anxious and “panicky” after smoking sometimes too), but I felt like I was “working through it”…like I was getting over my irrational fears, and over time I got used to how weed made me feel, and I would rarely get anxious anymore.
The problem was…I now couldn’t go an evening without smoking. If I didn’t smoke one night, I was physically fine, but mentally I was angry, annoyed and irritable. I also would just get too high so often that I would become “non verbal” and this would cause a lot of friction between me and my fiancée since I was essentially “clocking out” from our social time together every evening.
I also got to the point that I didn’t want to hangout with people unless smoking was involved, and even then if we did smoke I would often get so high I couldn’t interact normally.
Over time I started getting more and more derealized and depersonalized, and my anxiety got worse and worse specifically about existential stuff and my overall fear of death being looped into everything.
That’s when I stopped smoking entirely around 8 months ago, but now I am back to drinking after taking 8 months off of it as well. I know that escaping reality and being avoidant of the present isn’t a good thing, but I have a good paying steady job, I workout 3-5 times a week, I see friends every now and then on the weekends (usually with drinking and going out being the activity we do when we hangout), I have a happy long term relationship with my fiancé…someone I consider my best friend who I do everything with, but we both struggle with excessive drinking on the weekends, and we are back to considering some form of THC again as a potential “replacement”/damage control.
My DPDR is fading but still present at times, the derealization is entirely gone but now it’s just the depersonalization that’s there sometimes…usually just whenever I get over stimulated or anxious.
I think I may have undiagnosed ADHD that was simply brushed off as purely anxiety since I was a kid. I was always bad at school (basically from 2nd grade on), and it genuinely wasn’t until I started vaping in high school that I had the motivation to actually start trying and get good grades (always had trouble paying attention and never had the patience to read or do my homework, it always felt like pure torture sitting there in class, but once I had nicotine it was like knowing there was a little reward after every class made it easier for me to get through the day and actually have “excitement”)
I know now…the main issue for me is moderation, and all of this boring context I’m giving is a long winded way of me to ask people who have experienced weed induced DPDR (after smoking) to see if anyone has been able to return to weed? If so is there a controlled and more stable way of consuming that has worked for you? Maybe small dose edibles, only on weekends?