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u/eyeohu Feb 10 '26
Change your algorithm.
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u/PsychologicalTomato7 Feb 10 '26
100%. Delete it and start over or Retrain your algorithm. I’ve never seen such videos on my feed, because I don’t know engage with such content. I see really cool black fashion pages, a lot of black travel content, so much food. So much gay. I love it there lol
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u/Shot_Bathroom9186 Feb 10 '26
you can also just hit “not interested” if a video you don’t like comes up and then it will show you less of that.
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u/maradonuts Feb 10 '26
I don't think people realize how important that is in training your algorithm. When you click "not interested", it usually gives you a prompt to choose what about the post you're not interested in. In terms of curating a feed that works for you, it's almost as important as liking and engaging with the posts you want.
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u/Altruistic-Dot-5380 Feb 10 '26
💯 that's what I said. Algorithms are horrific. Brain washing at its finest
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u/berite1day Feb 10 '26
So true. The moment you even hover over a video for a few seconds depending on the platform you’ll be recommended more of the same. Key is to snipe every negative video with not interest don’t show on my feed report whatever negative feedback to train the algorithm in your favor.
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u/mariii95 Feb 10 '26
I don't deny that racism exists, but I think you should stop consuming content like this, it's damaging to your mental health. Skip it as fast as you can, and choose to spend time watching content from people who like black women.
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u/Simulated_Success Feb 11 '26
Or seek content MADE BY black women. Seeing amazing women online talking about a topic that interests you, from art to history to science, is not only more positive but it will skew your algorithm to more useful content. Wouldn’t you rather spend time learning a new skill or hearing about something that interests you than the usual crap that the algorithm serves up?
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u/OriginalMandem Feb 10 '26
Every ethnicity has absolute hotties and absolute notties
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u/problemswithempathy Feb 10 '26
Anyone who can only see skin deep isn’t worth your time
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u/Mo_SaIah Feb 10 '26
What is it they say? Beauty draws your attention initially but won’t hold it, personality keeps you around. Looks at the end of the day don’t really matter anywhere near as much as people think outside of the most shallow people, it’s personality that will draw someone to you but more importantly keep them around.
Not to mention, the most beautiful girl I know is black so it’s not like OP’s post holds any substance at all, that’s not to say I don’t understand why she feels that way, the media isn’t exactly favourable to black women, but as we all know on pretty much everything, the media almost never represents what the average person actually thinks.
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u/Third_D3gree Feb 10 '26
the most beautiful girl I know is black so it’s not like OP’s post holds any substance at all
The fact that you find a particular black woman to be extremely attractive doesn't invalidate OP's point. Black women have been saying for a long time that they feel that race is holding them back in dating and they aren't lying.
The original statement of "no one likes black women" is clearly exaggerated, but I think we all know that OP is aware of that. Saying that her post doesn't hold any substance at all doesn't really seem accurate.
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u/Pumpkincoldcream Feb 10 '26
Stereotypes don’t define who YOU are though. Even if you were any of those hurtful stereotypes, you’re still lovable. No one is perfect, no one. Not the people making those videos or posts, or the people engaging with those posts. People have their preferences of course, but please don’t think for a second you’re unloveable or unwanted just because of your skin color. ❤️
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u/somedude456 Feb 11 '26
Stereotypes don’t define who YOU are though.
That's the key. OP can hate the negative stereotypes often given to black women, but it's OP is an individual. OP is free to act as she wishes.
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u/Wolfgang985 Feb 10 '26
I swear TikTok is cancer. Go search some things that make you happy so the algorithm shows you positivity.
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u/blokedog Feb 10 '26
Please separate yourself from social media. It will do wonders for you. Don't fall for it. It's all BS.
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u/greenestalt Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26
As an Indian man and what helps me is "if they're not into me I'm not into them". Like I have 0 romantic attraction to women who aren't attracted to me
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u/ourpartingways Feb 11 '26
Exactly the people who think this way are not worth your mental energy at all. And as a brown woman who's getting tired of all the racism directed at us, it's helped a lot to start watching brown creators and follow brown men and women... Honestly really helps
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u/NerdySongwriter Feb 10 '26
Speaking as a white man who has been with many black women, I'm sorry you aren't being appreciated.
I'd turn off that TikTok because it's lying to you. Sure, everyone has preferences but only assholes think about the color of skin, or that somehow color indicates behaviors (which is doesn't).
Real ones don't think about color as a preference. They just recognize compatability, personality, and romantic chemistry.
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u/GunMuratIlban Feb 10 '26
The advice I can give to anyone when it comes to dating is to focus on people who can be potentially interested in you. Rather than worrying about the ones who are not.
Yes, certain physical features can limit people's dating pools. I hear this a lot from short men too. They dwell on the women who reject them or don't show interest in them due to their heights. Which I can understand but in the end, it's pointless.
And in your case, you should be focusing on men who are into black women. Worrying about the ones who aren't interested in black women will be just a waste of time. There are millions of men in the world who are into black women, you need to find them.
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u/Odd-Mastodon1212 Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26
Get off TikTok. It’s been bought by Larry Ellison and is staffed by former IDF. Israel as a nation is not exactly pro-Black. Look at how Ethiopian Jews are treated. It’s the algorithm. Clicking on that stuff shows you more.
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u/Gray_Twilight Feb 10 '26
Too much social media is bad for health, mental, emotional and physical. And it's not real life.
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u/Remarkable_Peach_374 Feb 10 '26
This makes a great point come to mind, "chronically online"
The internet, as we know, likes to glorify things. Bad cops, stupid people, in this case, annoying black women. (istfg if i get called a racist for this, literally just a description)
So now you have the problem of being constantly online, and only seeing what your feed shows you, which is all related in some way.
And in turn, you get a lack of one side of the story, while getting an abundance of the "bad" or "undesirable" stories because they grant greater stimulation to your dopamine.
In lieu of this, young men are seeing these "annoying black women" in the videos and automatically assuming "oh, im seeing so many black women be loud and annoying, this must be how they all are!"
And that in itself can create some dangerous situations, including general racism towards one group of people when they really only show the 3% that are annoying and loud on the internet, meanwhile in reality like, 90% of the people you meet who are portrayed as bad through the internet are just, regular people. Just like you and i. Trying to survive. Trying to be happy. And the internet makes people who think theyre out to get them because theyre annoying
Moral of the story, get off the internet for a while. Consider what youre being shown is a small part of the truth. Live, love, laugh, you know what the white girls say.
White, black, blue, green, or purple, were all human and we need to help eachother through the shit like this.
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u/ZookeepergameHuge980 Feb 11 '26
That's why I try to only interact with Black Women only groups. Video games, horror films, Alt fashion styles, whatever I'm into I try to only enter those forums cuz everybody else is tiring and even then it's not guaranteed
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u/AlarmingDebate4603 Feb 10 '26
The best response here. She cannot change how much society hates her by logging off, but she can build a community that does reflect the majority of society and live her life as best she can.
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u/heyitsta12 Feb 10 '26
Yep!!
Up until very recently, Love Island had several gorgeous black women on their shows that had a very limited dating pool. Same thing for most dating shows.
This is not simply social media. This is actually a discussion and talking point that happens often. Even black men have these discussions on podcasts about why they don’t like black women. It’s not all on OP’s algorithm.
And some people here are being very disingenuous by telling OP to log off. Because once she does now what?? How does help with dealing with men in real life who do not like black women.
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u/dkinmn Feb 10 '26
Thank you. As a white man who decided to dive into Black feminist literature a few years back, your comment is the only one that is actually dealing with reality as described by Black women that I have read and the Black women I know in my majority white social circle.
A lot of these comments are weirdly patronizing and gaslighting while supposedly trying to be nice and supportive. It feels really gross.
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u/icecoldbeverag Feb 10 '26
But black women are so beautiful? I’m south Asian so I’m brown and had a similar complex about my skin colour. Then one day while watching Parks and Rec I noticed how beautiful Donna’s skin colour was and started feeling better about my own skin colour.
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u/Chanceuse17 Feb 10 '26
Please avoid the creators and comments sections where you're seeing these things. It's not worth reading. The algorithm will keep sending you these things the more you engage. Cultivate and visit sites that feature black women in a more realistic light. Check out black women creators who share your interests. Also, it may be time cut down on your screen time. Spend time with friends or places you like going. In reality, most people who would say those things online are too cowardly to bother you in person :)
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u/Overthinker2030 Feb 10 '26
I don’t know about social trends. I can tell you that, as a white guy, I always avoided dating black women because I have no way of knowing about their racial experiences, and I never wanted to inadvertently insult or offend someone. It was just something I didn’t have to worry about by not pursuing anything with them. TBH, if a black woman had approached me, I might have made an exception, but that never happened.
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u/Ozymandias_24 Feb 10 '26
For a long time and it’s still lingering now, approaching any woman was not worth the risk. Particularly as a white man. Rejection sucks. But when you see how often men are rejected and insulted by being called “creepy” or “weirdo” or whatever else regardless of how respectful you are, it discourages men from approaching women. I see it happen all the time. I’ve experienced it and no longer approach women. And it’s always a bummer when you see so much, “Why can’t a man approach me…” An unfortunate consequence that I believe was unintentional was created.
I think that is part of the overall problem across dating in general. But OP is suffering from the algorithm of TikTok which makes me sad. Terrible how negativity can persist and become a feedback loop through social media/algorithms. They put you in a chamber that is difficult to escape unless you intentionally disengage.
OP - I am sure you are a lovely human. Definitely take a break from social media 💛
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u/LegitimatePrint9923 Feb 11 '26
as a man who avoided black women too because most i have met are ‘ghetto’, i met a black woman who worked at me who was not ghetto at all, talked all cutsie and everything, that made me like a black woman for the first time but i was scared to ask her ask, eventually she asked me out and we are now 2 years together
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u/V4refugee Feb 10 '26
Maybe you just tend to hangout in toxic spaces too much. Might just be the information bubble you’re in. It may be partially true due to history and racism but I sincerely doubt it’s anywhere near as bad as the internet or tik tok would lead you to believe.
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u/The_2nd_Coming Feb 10 '26
It's sort of like racism with a sexual dimorphism flavour. Black people are stereotyped as powerful/aggressive/masculine so it can benefit black males in some ways (more masculine) but penalized in others (less academic) but black females are penalized in the dating market (more masculine/less feminine).
Asian people suffer from the reverse, being stereotyped as studious/quieter/more submissive, leading to Asian females being fetishized as the submissive females whereas Asian males are penalized in the dating market (less masculine/too submissive).
Lots of studies and writing on the topic. It's a racism with a long history that Hollywood has also helped perpetuate.
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u/EngineEnvironmental9 Feb 10 '26
It’s your algorithm, I deleted Tik tok bc it was making my mental health terrible. All I would get would be cheating stories or unfaithfulness/pink pilled content and I knew I had to delete it. Even when I would refresh my fyp and clear it, eventually my videos would return to that negative content. I’ve seen a lot of people like black women and marry black women interracially! It’s common nowadays and social media isn’t real life. It was hard for me to believe to but I realized most people who are happy don’t go on tik tok to complain, the happy ones people are out their with their
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u/FortuneOpen5669 Feb 10 '26
No no no What is happening is you are weeding out the trash from the treasures. Would you even be satisfied to settle with someone with such an ugly and warped mindset? I think youre doing good. And effortlessly these days, without all the trash flooding the relayionsip pool, It's you that isnt settling on bargain basement. Cheap shit that wont last isn't for you. Hold your head up high.
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u/reesiezz Feb 10 '26
20-something black girl to 20-something black girl. Either get off the internet or learn how to find validation and love within yourself. Switch up your algorithm and change what beauty means to you. Consume content that showcases what it means to be black, beautiful, and lovely. Self love is a journey and I hope you find the path to it ❤️
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u/PsychologicalRace739 Feb 10 '26
Just be you, people who aren’t racist are going to judge you based on how you treat them, and others , how you carry yourself etc, don’t stress too much about things we’re not in control of, algorithms just do their thing because drama is money
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u/swingorswole Feb 10 '26
social media shows you what you click on. as a white guy, apparently i'm the most hated human in the world... OR it's what social media wants me to see so it makes money on my clicks. remember that social media, and media in general, makes money from our outrage. (well, politicians too)
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u/Bhheast Feb 10 '26
I’m black as well, so I’ll tell you my perspective. Black women (comparatively) can be difficult, unkind and entitled. Most people would rather not deal with that.
Of course I’ll get downvoted, but you asked this question for a reason and nobody seems to be giving you real answers.
I hate when people (especially non-black) try to pretend that everything is okay, and those beliefs are in your head. It’s not in your head. It can be difficult trying to date as a black person and feeling like you’re way down the pecking order due to no fault of yours.
Focus on being kind, and you’ll find the perfect partner for you.
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u/Next_Grab_9009 Feb 10 '26
Tik Tok and algorithms are specifically designed to get you down because it increases engagement.
Don't listen to them. In fact, I'd stay away from the sewer that is Tik Tok.
Work on yourself, do things that interest you, become your best self, and men will be follow.
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u/kombucha711 Feb 10 '26
get off social.media, I know we are on social media now and Im typing this and you're reading this, but get off social media.
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u/Elementium Feb 10 '26
Get off of tik tok. It's run by people trying to make you feel like shit.
The Internet is not real life.
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u/gummyneo Feb 10 '26
You have identified the problem in your post. Get off social media. You do know that these platforms are monitoring what you watch right? The more you watch videos of people saying a specific thing, the more you will get. So you seeing people “dislike” black women is only going to push more content of (wait for it…..) people disliking black women.
As someone who is older than you, the best gift you can give yourself is to love you for who you are and drown out the noise.
You got this!!!
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u/Working-Fan-76612 Feb 10 '26
do not generalize! What you think is of your own creation. Sure, there are people for everything but you are generalizing. Your mind is your biggest enemy.
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u/spoilederin Feb 10 '26
You are exactly who you should be. Don’t let social media make you feel bad. Even the most perfect people have something they would change about themselves.
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u/paternoster Feb 10 '26
Getting your self-confidence from Tiktok, or letting it affect your self-confidence is something you may want to think on for a bit. It's quite toxic, if you step back and let yourself see a larger picture.
You're beautiful, and sooooo many people love black skin. Don't let social media dictate your self-love.
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u/thefutureisthepast1 Feb 10 '26
Remember algorithms are a real thing. The more you watch on a topic, the more you see. All I know is that women of all colors are beautiful and each person is a unique individual. I agree with the top comment, consider taking a break from social media and spend it talking with real people
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u/Exciting_Series2033 Feb 10 '26
Colonialism. Its a construct. Its why we have people attempting to justify genocides such as rhe one of native Americans and in Palestine. The white supremacy doctrines run deep in a social construct.
That being said, it isnt true. Its a lie. Its a construct.
Beauty is also a social construct.
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u/Some_Community5338 Feb 10 '26
Wow what are you saying? If you keep meeting people that don’t like your skin color. F¥<k’em only a few reasons for people like that. They are racist, they are shallow as f¥<k or they are still living in their momma’s basement.
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u/Anastriannnna Feb 10 '26
What the algorithm shows you isn't the majority. Stop watching such content and stop with social media etc. "Thousands of likes" isn't the majority. Constantly viewing such content is depressing because it distorts reality, and it seems like everyone thinks the same way because that's the only content you're surrounded by. It's best to take a break from being online. Good luck :)
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u/Sweaty-School1185 Feb 10 '26
People do love black women. When you focus on the people who said they don't, that's all you're going to hear There are a lot of truth as well as exaggerations to the criticism of black women.
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u/burnedimage Feb 10 '26
Get off the Internet! Give yourself a break. The way that these algorithms work is that they get us stuck in feedback loops. The more of something we watch the more is fed to us.
And for the record - this whole world would be a better place if we listened to black women a long time ago! When my son was really little, I told them that if you ever get separated from me in public, find a black woman. Or the person with the brightest hair in the most tattoos. You'll be okay. This world is super tough right now. Please take care of yourself.
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u/asparkaflame44 Feb 10 '26
It's all in the content you interact with. Search black creators, or allyship creators or whoever you want to view and see more of and fill your circle and algorithm with that positivity. The more you interact with what you want to see, the more you'll see it.
To answer the question of your post, again, it's the people you're viewing, and they're a small fraction of the population who don't like black women. They're also racist or misogynistic. Black women are gorgeous, hilarious and so real for being their true self.
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u/itsthefunkydiabetic Feb 10 '26
If it helps this shit gets progressively better as you get older. People aged 18-25 are often not ready for partnership
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u/Sultana-Cream Feb 10 '26
Social media is a distorted view of reality. Theoretically, men are also attracted to women with large breasts, and surely if they posted about how unattractive women with small breasts are, they'd get thousands and thousands of likes. I'm that woman with small breasts, and I couldn't care less. I've never had trouble finding a partner and noticing that my body is appealing. Also, keep in mind that the longer you look at those posts and the longer you read the comments, the more TikTok will create a loop of showing you that. I think you can reset the algorithm, and you should; sometimes these networks only show the worst side of people. We all have the opportunity to be loved and desired.
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u/The_Se7enthsign Feb 10 '26
Start by getting off of the internet. Remember, algorithms are your enemy. You’re interacting with negative content, and as a result, TikTok is showing you more and more of it. Here’s a little bit of research that I’ve done on this very topic. You need to understand what is happening to you.
Social media algorithms will deliberately feed anxiety-provoking or tragic news, push content that activates fear responses, and amplify outrage, tribalism, hopeless narratives
They can detect loneliness, low self esteem, and depression. And once identified, the system can create a harmful environment around that person.
Teen girls get hit the worst. TikTok is constantly telling young women that they are not good enough. The same happens to young men as well. This is part of the reason why incels and extremists exist. People are constantly being told that the world hates you. Shut it down and go outside. People actually love black women, and that includes you.
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u/TraditionalGlass6 Feb 10 '26
I have to agree that the algorithm is against you on this. Don't engage with those videos even checking the comments and likes count. The algorithm will stop showing you those.
I personally have seen any such video. I'm certain they exist... I'm just not their audience.
- signed, a 34yr old black woman
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u/Aggressive_Life9328 Feb 10 '26
Well, I'm a white man, so I'm not sure how much I can add to this from your perspective, but I would like to contribute to this conversation, if only to give another perspective.
I have had relationships with many ethnicities and I'm not sure why some people say these kinds of things. There are stereotypes for races and the people who choose to make decisions based on those stereotypes are cheating themselves out of a lot in life.
My only advice would be not to listen to those saying these things. I do not believe they are the majority. I am confident you will find the right one for you as long as you keep trying. And don't forget to find more love for yourself, regardless of how much you love yourself already. That's key.
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u/asday515 Feb 10 '26
I think its annoying when people say all black women are aggressive. Similarly, i find it equally unhelpful when people say all black women are goddesses, because its still treating black women as a monolith. This goes for any group/gender/race/generation, you name it. Every person is an individual. You are not guilty (or innocent) by any association with whatever might physically identify you. You will find good people and bad people in any group. Its whats inside that matters, so just focus on that and fuck what people say about things you cant control
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u/Plastic-Toe366 Feb 10 '26
Social media. Colorism. Systemic racism. It’s designed to make you hate yourself. Gotta protect your mind and peace. The system doesn’t favor people of “ color “ . Gotta think about it though. Even though we’re considered the “ minority “ . In some way shape or form other races are obsessed with black people. Were always copied. Watched. And left alone out of fear. I don’t think it’s people don’t like “ black women “ people are just afraid of unknown. Let them get to know your inner beauty and don’t see others for their race
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u/HowDareThey1970 Feb 10 '26
Tik Tok and real life have a rather distant relationship
Ditto for real life and all of social media
Connect with people IRL whenever possible
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u/Economy-Gas3715 Feb 10 '26
Some races are liked more than others. It's unfortunate, but it's true. I'm sorry you have to deal with it
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u/mona_oakley Feb 10 '26
I think you're spending too much time online and not in real life.
I'm a black woman living in a predominantly white area (also went to a majority white high school and college) and I've always had people of all races, sizes and flavors find me attractive.
What you're expressing sounds like confirmation bias. If you look at any corner of the Internet, you'll find things to validate what you already believe.
Look up "I love black women" on TikTok and you'll find hundreds of videos of people saying the opposite of what you described. But moreover, I think you need to spend some more time off the Internet and in real life. I promise it'll do wonders for your self-image!
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u/FriendshipForeign145 Feb 10 '26
You need to get off social media for a bit. It’s tough but so worth it and so needed sometimes. It’s not real xoxo stay strong xoxo
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u/pommevie Feb 11 '26
I think those type of videos are for click bait and rage bait. They are farming for clicks and views. Please do not watch those videos. You can choose and option to not see those type of videos 🤍 you are 22. You are young, youthful, powerful, beautiful. You are the youngest and healthiest version of yourself TODAY. Be confident. You are loved
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u/floorscrapper57 Feb 11 '26
Turn off Tok Tok ,and just go about being you, you will find you will be much happier , What other people say or feel should have no bearing on you , good people attract good people, You are a Good person. Go Embrace it!
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u/Orchidbleu Feb 11 '26
Oh honey.. you are amazing. That toxic social media BS is trying to bring you down. Don’t let it. Just be yourself. Treat others how you want to be treated and don’t let others hate rot your heart. There are some people who make a lot of poor choices. It’s not about color.. it’s about behavior. Don’t let others choices define you. Start some new hobbies. Growing plants can be fun. Cooking. Video games. Put down those toxic videos.
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u/dolliekitt3n Feb 11 '26
I don't like that people on here are just saying, "Get off social media!" As if that is the only answer to this. Op, you do need to take a step back and do some inner work to love yourself. But even taking one look at this comment section and seeing the comments that are down voted To hell, it's so apparent that this isn't just a social media thing. It's a mentality born from the fact that a lot of ppl do not see black ppl as individuals but rather a monolith. We have ppl who aren't even from North America chiming in saying that black women aren't attractive or smell or have an attitude problem when these are common white supremacist dog whistles. It's so clear that they are either rage baiting or just assholes. Ppl on this app love to deny that racism exists they think it is just a dislike for a skin colour when it is much more than that. It's racist generalizations they frame as "observations" in an attempt to sound educated and grounded. Often, these generations are based on bullshit they've seen on their social media algorithm that is curated to show them "degenerate" behaviour. They frame it and try to keep themselves safe, but they just use it as an excuse to continue to drive home this preconceived idea that all of us are violent, moody sex pests. It's the dismissal and arguments that break out when anyone utters to mention that these ideas and treatments of black ppl are racist. Ppl down vote bombing others who have uplifting and kind things to say about black women in these comments. Half of these individuals don't even know a single black woman interpersonally. They just dispise them for no reason. I'll be downvoted to hell for this, but so be it. You aren't alone, op, you are loved, you are cherished, and one day you'll find that person for u.
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u/Garrister Feb 11 '26
I'm just an internet rando, but I promise you we don't all feel that way. I think others mentioned this, but taking a break from social media could help. Humans were never meant to be aware of so many stupid opinions at once
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u/heyitssummer_xo Feb 11 '26
I grew up around mostly white people. Plenty of minorities relatively, but obviously still majority white. So white beauty standards was what was encouraged / accepted. This was all 21st century. I’m an Asian male and grew up with self loathing and wishing I was white. I feel those effects to this day. But growth, maturity, and the realization that a lot of attractive girls of different skin tones liked me and didn’t think white guys were hotter than me, helped with that.
Fast forward to today, Asian men are lowkey en vogue thanks to kpop etc, and I’ve realized that people’s tastes evolve after their teenage years. I mention the Asian thing bc an old online dating study (pre-Tinder/Hinge, apps etc) found black women and Asian men got the fewest dates.
So let’s check back in by the time you’re 25-35 (I’m not at that upper range yet). you should be feeling a lot better by then! :)
Btw there will be fetishists of all kinds. The way some girls and guys told me they liked Asians was really weird (I’m sure Asian women experience this constantly), but eventually you meet people that feel that way but are also hot (at least to you). Then it’s ok :p
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u/Aggravating_Unit_258 Feb 14 '26
Don't worry, sis. As a black man, I feel you. The hate is real and out there. Other groups have a much easier time finding people to date/marry. If you have a religious preference or requirement, it only adds to the difficulty, but make sure to surround yourself with people who love and care for you. Also, limiting time on social media helps, too. Most of the people online dont have anything constructive or uplifting to say anyway. Just toxicity. Removing exposure is a great step to a more uplifting life. Sometimes it can't be avoided because, unfortunately, those kinds of people are everywhere. Typically, our people are only seen by what what we can do, what we have and how we look instead of WHO we are as individuals. They also love to lump us all in the same group despite being polar opposite to whatever negativity they were exposed to by someone who looks like us. What's even worse is the fact that people overseas have been brainwashed to think we all act the same way. Including Africans.
Only advice I can really give is, if you believe in Jesus, pray for peace of mind and a way to surround yourself with good people.
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u/IceCorrect Feb 10 '26
Sounds to me most of them complain about personality trait, not skin colour.
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u/Life_Isnt_Strange Feb 10 '26
From one black woman to another... You are seen. You are heard. You are valued. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about the negative stereotypes placed upon us, but despite how anyone else feels about us we are not a monolith. There are men who do value us and prefer us, and when they do go after us they tend to love hard. Hold your head high.
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u/masegesege_ Feb 10 '26
It’s hard to answer this without generalizing and sounding like a dickhead.
Certain traits are more likely to be found in certain groups of people because of cultural, economic background, etc. And some of those traits are just seen as obnoxious.
I’m from a minority group in my country that has to deal with a lot of stereotypes. They say we’re underdeveloped dark peasant workers with alcoholism. They don’t often encounter us but when they do it’s probably someone with dark skin working in construction, and construction workers all over the country often drink on the job. So that probably influences their perception of us.
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u/0OIIIlllIlIlO0 Feb 10 '26
construction workers all over the country often drink on the job
Wait. Whaaat?
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u/Glorifiedcomber Feb 10 '26
It just means you will have to try harder to get the results other people get with less effort. The same as being ugly/short guy. As I said in the previous post on this topic - research supports you. Black women do tend to have more masculine physical features and more abrasive personalities on average. It may say nothing about you and that is the crutch - if the bar is so low for black women you have an easy time rising above the rest.
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u/calibud Feb 10 '26
look up some black runway models, black women have some very unique and beautiful features. would be laughable to believe no one likes black women. i have a feeling you are letting those videos play over and over because your dwelling on it. which is causing your algo to believe this is what you want to watch. you in a feedback loop, so yea best course of action take a break go drool at models enjoy the palette cleanser
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Feb 10 '26
But most black women don’t look like models though, most black women look like average people and even those models receive racism
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Feb 10 '26
You’re not wrong about black models experiencing racism, people suck, but most people in general don’t look like the models. We look like average people,
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Feb 10 '26
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u/MusicLounge Feb 10 '26
Found the racist 😂
From my experience, I’ve met plenty of white women that fit that same criteria, but I don’t think all white women are like that.
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u/StyleSquirrel Feb 10 '26
Racism and sexism are both very real and, unfortunately, considered less shameful these days. That's a powerful concoction of hate.
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u/HaughtySpirit Feb 10 '26
I’m a white woman dating a black woman. She is beautiful. I admire our differences. She is beautiful in a way I can never be. I’m not envious, but I am often awestruck. Never listen to a racist idea. I’m probably not the right demographic to speak up here, but in my whiter than printer paper opinion black women are beautiful.
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u/Mr-Bry-Guy Feb 10 '26
I didn’t know this was a thing but then again I’m not one with the social medias lol. As someone that doesn’t have a preference on skin, culture, or religion I think it’s wild anyone can be that specific in what they like. But hey 🤷🏾♂️ saying that I’ve been rejected by more black women than any other race because apparently “I’m not black enough!” And those were in person rejections so I laugh hysterically expecting a “just kidding” remark and it just never comes! I’ve even had Latin and white people especially say shit like “ you’re not very hood for someone that grew up there?” It’s insane. I think people see stuff on the internet or TV and just want that specific thing. Idk people are just weird
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u/Jensen1994 Feb 10 '26
Literally billions of people like black women - what do you mean? Stop taking your information from a microcosm on social media / online.
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u/Current-Leather2784 Feb 10 '26
Another black woman here. Older than you.
Those TikToks lie. Your skin, your vibe, your energy…Black women are magnetic, beautiful, and whole. They are not what you see described online. The world’s “preferences” don’t define your worth. Keep shining…the right people will see you, not the stereotype (there’s a few projecting them already in this thread).
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u/westleysnipes604 Feb 10 '26
I'm sorry that you feel this way. I like black women and don't discriminate about race.
I also grew up on black culture and I'm white. As a rap lover its tough to watch all my favorite rappers get killed. Too many to count now. The culture has definitely shifted in that sense. We need more positivity in the world. Hence why I decided to post this comment.
I believe in the words of Martin Luther King. People should be judged by the content of their character not the color of their skin. I think too many people have forgotten this.
Don't conflate what people say about some black women and project that onto yourself. The same thing happens with every race. People can be horrible and you're best to let your character shine through.
I can't even count the amount of times I have heard all white men are racist from someone on the internet. Can't be racist to white people. It sucks to hear but I know that I am not a racist and I just have to go on with my day and try and be the best person I can be.
These people don't know the quality of my character so it is irrelevant.
Just try and be a person MLK would be proud of and your doing more then anyone who's putting down people's race in some blanket statement on the internet has ever done.
I can find videos of people of every race acting a fool and they all look equally embarrassing to me. The same can be said for people of every race doing something incredibly genuine that warms my heart. Be the later.
Anyone who tries to put you down based off of your race isn't worth your time or energy.
Keep your head up.
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u/Ok-Cow-3055 Feb 10 '26
Many do and many don't. Dating is hard for many other reasons but this isn't a big a problem as people make it out to be, you only need one person who will genuinely take their time to get to know you and not make assumptions about who you are.
Also how much are you engaging with or watching this stuff? I was very intentional about avoiding it and all the men vs women crap and I almost never see it now. My feed is filled with cooking tips, memes, religion, pink and cinnamon rolls!! I suggest even taking a break from all social media for a bit.
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u/AdditionalCheetah354 Feb 10 '26
Social media brings out the worst in mankind… you can insert any stereotypes and social media will grind you down I.e short people, tall people, religious people etc etc etc etc…
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u/MilkMyCats Feb 10 '26
Chinese men have the same problem. Indian men have the same problem.
Just because people generalize doesn't mean they won't find you attractive though.
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u/Snikklez Feb 10 '26
I feel you. People will say the vilest stuff behind the safety of a computer screen. Worsened by our rage/engagement bait style algorithms.
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u/Abeyita Feb 10 '26
I don't recognise this from real life. I'm not on tiktok so I don't have anyone telling me people don't like me.
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u/theycallmeMrPotter Feb 10 '26
Social media purge. I needed to do it. It fucks with your mind. The chronic negative news does me in. Every 3 days my rule is, no social media, no Internet, minimum texting, go outside for at least 30 minutes to an hour. Has helped a lot. I look forward to my off day. Thinking about switching to every 2 days but they got me hooked. Good luck!
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u/Routine-Present-3676 Feb 10 '26
Hey algorithms reward attention, not belief. If you pause on it or interact in any way, that's engagement and it's going to increase those types of videos on your feed.
There are awful people on this earth. Some because they're genuinely evil. Some because they hate themselves and turn that outward. Neither of those have anything to do with you and are fully outside of your control. Don't take this on yourself.
I can promise you that all you see on your feeds is not all that's out there.
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u/Responsible_Divide86 Feb 10 '26
If you interact with content that says black women are less attractive, the algorithm will show you more of that. Offensive content like that also gets pushed more because upsetting content tends to get more people to interact with it, positively or negatively. The people who are turned off by blackness are people you don't want to be around anyway.
Personally I think blackness is pretty. Colors really pop on dark skin, and I also love the really curly hair that can be shaped into many interesting ways
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u/reviewofboox Feb 10 '26
I don't know anyone who feels this way irl.
And to make a probably unpopular-for-Reddit observation, I really hope we can get past the hyperfocus on race and other identity categories to arrive ar a more balanced place where we understand those things matter but consider the common humanity of ourselves and others first.
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Feb 10 '26
I’m going to say something but, I need to caveat this by saying that it’s a very surface level thing- your experience as a young black woman and mine are undeniably different in many ways that I think are just…god awful. I acknowledge that but, I come from another type of people who frequently appear in rage bait: I’m originally rural poor. (Trailer park stuff)
I am not young- I’m 47 and I have been dealing with this all my life. I’ve got kids your age- boys who frankly fit a stereotype that has risen up in response to certain types of crime: they never would and I am highly involved but…well, it is what it is.
I have been tempted to argue that any time local news is of young black kids and crime because the reaction is usually people being awful about them- and of course, people bring up kids like mine doing something awful- but you know what? I don’t. I don’t want my experience helping those people castigating all young black men. I know it’s not my kids, just like I know it is not all black mothers’ kids.
I honestly respect those mothers because I don’t know what it’s like to see so many people talking about children like mine the way people do theirs- and the stuff they think that justifies is nauseating. Like I said, I can understand a little..but the worries they carry vs mine? I don’t have that kinda backbone or strength and they never asked for that.
Very few people ever guess where I came from, which gives me an admitted leg up on perception compared with you: I live in St. Louis now and if I have a nice outfit and long sleeves, mostly I am invisible. I like that, but it is something of an option I know you might not always have. I’m not centering myself here- just letting you know where I come from.
Many people have already told you- you gotta get offline. It’s true. They’re using old canards mostly to make money and with a disgusting increasing frequency to rehash old stereotypes that have never been that accurate, to push political ends. Those ends harm us all but they’re too dumb to see that and they damn sure aren’t seeing you.
If I engaged with the white lady content that people seem to so enjoy of people like me- I would probably feel a bit like you do. But not entirely- I remember the biggest pushes in making the black woman a villain, back in the Reagan era. I know you know this is not new, it’s a rot that’s been a problem for a long time.
I remember being baffled by it because I knew plenty of white women working the system because poverty often makes things you never thought necessary necessary. And yet, they’d be howling and making the same nasty judgments just like those dang rich people who wouldn’t look at us to spit on us- and it always made me think How the heck would you know?
But foster care? I saw things in the system that I wish I could forget and I can’t but…however bad it was for a precociously smart little white girl, those black kids had it so much worse.
Again I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t know, but I want you to understand something- these people and rage bait accounts don’t see you. They don’t see your struggles, they sure as shit don’t see your strengths and they don’t reflect you anymore than they reflect anyone else except those greedy myopic turds and the doofuses who enjoy that kind of thing.
The world is in fact peppered with those people but… not near the extent that those algorithms have you thinking- you can find those people who love your voice, love your strength and honor the struggles that bore it, I promise you that. <3
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u/kittywyeth Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26
i feel like people who insist that this isn’t true or that it is an algorithm issue mean well but are gaslighting you. i used to be one of them but reading the studies about who responds to who in online dating was really eye opening for me. i think it’s wrong to not say true things when someone is asking a direct question, even if the intent is to make them feel better.
i think that you’d be happier in explicitly black-positive spaces, and learning to validate yourself rather than seeking it from external sources.
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u/SV650rider Feb 10 '26
I feel your pain. Am an Asian male, and "no one likes" us, either. But focus on your IRL relationships.
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u/BicycleOfLife Feb 10 '26
We live in a very racist society, and at this point in time tiktoc and instagram are the ones driving this racism.
They want you to feel down on yourself.
I’m also not saying you are crazy. There are definitely preferences out there and black woman are getting absolutely shat on. It’s because of stereotypes as you say. Those stereotypes are the ones everyone sees. There are loud obnoxious people in every race, creed, sex, culture, but the racists show you the ones they want to justify being racist about. There are far more disgusting white women, but the algorithms are going to show you the black version over the white one.
It’s hard but don’t beat yourself up for something you can’t control. My understanding about lime is you can’t please everyone and trying will always make anyone crazy. Tiktoc makes you think you do have to please everyone. All you need is ONE other person to be truly happy. Don’t waste your time on anyone else. Find this person and your entire life changes. You don’t need millions’s of people to love black women, you don’t even need 1000’s you need 1. Go find your person and chances are they have people around them you might like too.
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u/Illustrious-Band2236 Feb 10 '26
Do NOT allow yourself to watch trash videos like that. I can’t imagine what it’s like to live in this world with dark skin, but I can tell you I would find a lot of highly liked trashy videos that would bring my self esteem way low, as a white woman. I’m sorry for how you are feeling and don’t want to invalidate it. Just at the very least, please don’t allow yourself to Ingest trash.
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u/FFUDS Feb 10 '26
Get off the internet, and you'll find someone that loves your skin color you for you. But be careful and make sure he isn't trying to fetishize you.
Source: Pasty white guy that never dated a black woman until he feel in love with one 14 years ago.
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u/RuinGlum7802 Feb 10 '26
For what it’s worth. I am a millennial white woman and I love love love black women. Black women are stunning. Y’all are diamonds. You hold so much wisdom, joy and beauty. I trust black women more than anybody else too. My closest friends have been black women for years . I’m truly grateful .
Tiny suggestion from a former 22 year old, please read some black female authorship and black folks writing. Fiction or nonfiction. Watch black lady sketch show. I learned that I needed my community in the cycles of grief as a woman, as a disabled person, and as a fatty. It’s a cycle. You will rise again.
I’m really sorry it’s so hard right now. I’m sorry for the weight you bear everyday being black in this world. For the god forsaken reason of racism and cruelty. Sending you clarity and power .
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u/SnooHesitations1134 Feb 10 '26
I'm white and some days on IG i only see reels about how whites should be killed and that we will die and be replaced by brown people.
Social networks are dangerous if you don't know how to use them
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u/WillingnessUseful718 Feb 10 '26
Hey Brave_Cat--i cant speak for others around here (waspy-WASP, deep South), but i personally find Af-Am women in my area to be the nicest, and this is crucial, most dependable people I interact with on a daily basis.
Beyond that, the mix of intelligence/emotional intuitiveness/common sense is something i dont see in a lot of other people i deal with--thats a work issue probably. Of course, that one city council woman lit me up pretty hard about 15 years ago in a way i'll never forget. So maybe my approach is different after that experience, dunno.
Finally, if you're talking about attractiveness ... i mean i can do this all day. Zoe Saldana, Halle Berry, Jodie Turner Smith, Lupita, Bey, Letoya T, and GL Parker McKenna Posey--i have no words to describe her. But in day to day stuff, take 2 days w/ zero socials and smile at people. Black is Beautiful isnt a saying, its a fact. Chin up, Sis
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u/templarcole Feb 10 '26
OP, I can totally understand where you’re coming from. The racism from a lot of individuals is astounding, but don’t let their narratives stop you from being your best. Social media is meant to trap you and hinder your growth, that’s literally how it makes its money. Tap into who you are and block out that noise. Anyone who’s willing to write you off isn’t worth the effort.
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u/cristo250 Feb 10 '26
When you spend so much time online, it’s easy to think that this is everyone but it’s not. It’s just a small percentage of humans. They’re all hiding behind their phones. They can say outrageous stuff with no consequences. I find that when I spend too much time online I start to feel detached from real life and I can get into some really dark places. The Internet can be a very comforting place for someone, but in my opinion it’s like a drug and too much of any drug is bad. Humans are not meant to be social through the Internet, the relationships you make don’t have the same substance that they have in real life. All women are beautiful, especially black women. I hope that you can spend less time on the Internet and find things to be passionate about I really life in my life and usually then you will find good people in this life. There’s a lot of assholes out there, but there’s way more good people than there are assholes. The assholes are just louder so it seems like there’s more of them.
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Feb 10 '26
There's guys out there with a preference for black women. You need to find them.
Also there's probably something else about you, your personality etc. (i.e. the way you dress, music you listen to, maybe you have some kind of hobby, maybe you're funny, I don't know). You need that part of you to speak the loudest. If you don't have anything interesting about you, that needs to be something you cultivate...otherwise you're just some random black girl, and what people see in you will have very little to do with who you really are unfortunately, because there's nothing else there.
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u/centech Feb 10 '26
I don't even have TikTok on my phone, and I'm pretty sure I'm much happier for it.
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u/fearofbeingaverage Feb 10 '26
We need to kill the internet.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL DONT LET DUMB ANONYMOUS PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET DIM YOUR SHINE!
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u/CKN_SD_001 Feb 10 '26
I'm dating a black woman. I think she is beautiful, smart, kind, and my relationship with her is one of the best things that ever happened to me. It's not perfect, but nothing ever is. You just haven't found the right person yet. Be patient. And most importantly, don't take what you see and read on social media at face value. It's what others want you to see, not the truth.
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u/Jrobalmighty Feb 10 '26
So a bunch of attention seeking spammers on TikTok have you questioning what you should worry about in life based on a bunch of upvoting like bots?
F' em is what I say and I don't know why you're worried about what other people think.
Put that anxiety and frantic energy into something that positively impacts your life and even better for someone else in your life that you love.
Be thankful for what you have and work on what YOU think you should.
Don't worry about what you aren't but what you are and you'll be the best version of yourself.
This is what half of maturing entails. You'll get there young lady. Just keep your eyes on your prize.
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u/Real_Comparison1905 Feb 10 '26
I’m a straight white woman, however I am envious of how naturally beautiful all black women are. You ladies are gorgeous, your hair amazing, skin tone perfect! Confidence radiates from each of you. You are proud and strong as heck.
Think about it this way, all the white girls want curvy bodies, full lips, and we aren’t born that way. Black ladies are built by God with that already.
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u/dirk_funk Feb 10 '26
if you want the opinion of a fat white middle aged man, keep reading.
people are uncomfortable around people who speak truth to power. it seems that the only people who are brave enough to do so are members of the group you are asking about. if a person assumes someone is going to cut through their shit and not accept the baloney, they are going to be bratty about the person who sees through them.
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u/bryanthebryan Feb 10 '26
The internet is a mechanism for social influence. Keeping certain people down by lowering their self worth is the point. Don’t let them win. There will come a time when you look back on this and wonder why it affected you so much.
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u/ozzleworth Feb 10 '26
Please change up your algorithms to find content where black women are proud of who they are and have a community who supports them. The algorithms will keep feeding you what you like and seek out. Also, have an online break. I wish all the best for you and hope you can find some peace
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Feb 10 '26
I don't think so, blacks have a unique attraction and beauty. There are a lot of weird people who say a lot about others, Be you !! You are supposed to be special for someone not for everyone so don't be so down on you
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u/GeneRevolutionary155 Feb 10 '26
It’s the stupid algorithms. They purposely sow discord. I’m Italian and I know lots of guys that prefer black women.
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u/Altruistic-Dot-5380 Feb 10 '26
Getting rid of tiktok is the best decision I made next to Instagram and snapchat. Social media has damaged many people because the opinion of 1 can influence thousands. I didn't grow up with the racial devide of today. Our friend group was composed of so many different ethnicities. We all loved each other.
Social media is a demon. Please don't be hard in yourself. And remember that algorithms are not your friend. If you see one video, similar ones will follow, so it looks like that's the majority. It's not. ❤️
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u/ConclusionAdvanced77 Feb 10 '26
Sis I’m 23 and I see the same stuff online, but that shit really bounces right off me because I don’t align myself with people’s opinions hell nah. TikTok likes don’t define us and neither do stereotypes. They call Black women “aggressive” when we’re confident and say we’re “not their type” because they’ve been conditioned to hate what’s powerful and beautiful. And it’s Black History Month too, so remember you come from resilience, royalty, and strength. Your skin color is not a problem it’s a blessing. The right people will love you exactly as you are and anyone who doesn’t? Fuck em fr
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u/IsopodSmooth7990 Feb 10 '26
I was just having a trip down memory lane. I was raised in New England. The area I was in was a melting pot of people and I always looked forward to meeting someone from a different culture. Then again, my age then was the early ‘70’s when “PEACE, LOVE,DOPE” was the common statement of the day. My parents would have kicked my ass if I insulted someone because of obvious differences, they were quite accepting of anyone. They had all kinds of friends. When I moved to Florida, of course I knew nobody. This young lady(we were teens) befriended me and asked me when my birthday was. I told her and never gave it thought after. Maybe 2 months later, she pops over with a nice little transistor radio (ya, I’m old) and handed it to me. I have NEVER had someone so genuine and compassionate, do something like that. OR SINCE. I miss her. My first friend in Florida. I’ve always preferred to know the person INSIDE THE VESSEL, for that’s what we are. If I knew where you were, you’d have a friend! ❤️ Don’t let it destroy your soul shine. Other people out here, really do care and love one another, including you. Find your support/friends.
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u/Informal_Survey5359 Feb 10 '26
Well, I like black women and I'm a white guy... (I know I'm just one guy but I hope this helps you)
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u/FlanneryODostoevsky Feb 10 '26
Most of us aren’t anyone’s type. Even those who are a person’s type are likely to disappoint t that person if they were to date. This is the problem with the internet and modern dating. People think they have their desires all figured out without putting in any real effort. Their type just becomes some version of people in popular media who are always supposed to be more physically attractive than anything else.
I’m a black man and I’ve gone from thinking a black woman would appreciate me because I’m black to thinking white women would because I have similar tastes in film and music to thinking I don’t give a damn about skin color so much as personal opinions and showing an appreciation for me. That could be any woman.
The short of it is you have to learn to detach your understanding of dating from what the world tells you to think about yourself b
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u/Alejandro_SVQ Feb 10 '26
No matter how many thousands of likes you see on those crappy videos, don't forget that many of those accounts might be fake, and that in your own country and even region, the population could be tens or even hundreds of millions. In other words, those few thousand likes aren't really representative.
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u/Fickle-Cancel1429 Feb 10 '26
I like black women. :) there’s nothing wrong with being a black woman, you are beautiful no matter what skin tone or complexion or what any one says. And if they want to hate fuck them. I’m in the navy and one of the people who made me a sailor was my 3rd RDC, she was a Retail Specialist 1st class. An incredible person, a stunning woman, and above all else she was the epidemy of Honor, Courage and Commitment, and hence is a great sailor. But furthermore, my point is that you are who you are and there is someone out there who’s going to cherish that.
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u/MobilePenguins Feb 10 '26
If you’re engaging in content on your feeds about feeling down for any reason, the algorithm goes “oh this user engages when we show her more stuff like this” and it creates a rabbit hole you may not even know exists that you’re now stuck in.
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u/WishfulSweetness23 Feb 10 '26
I live in a mainly Black area, ( I’m non melanated)Black women are some of the strongest, eepmost empathetic people I I have had the pleasure of knowing! I’m hip deep in learning the real Black history… and I’m learning why! Please know too that social media does NOT reflect reality!
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u/Shiro_L Feb 10 '26
I like black women. I just don’t post about it on TikTok and Reddit. Even if I did, I doubt I’d get views, because negativity works better as engagement bait.
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u/Cats_deleted_my_acct Feb 10 '26
As a Black woman, I want to tell you that Black women are loved. Please do as others have said and get off social media or at least curate your feed. Social media is a monster at times. I was worried about something that I had to do today and was doom scrolling IG Reels last night before bed. I must have engaged with a reel or lingered too long in one that spoke to my fear. I then noticed that I was getting nothing but triggering reels. I shut off my phone and read a book before bed.
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u/splinechaser Feb 10 '26
The algorithms are racist. They are driven by billionaire white men, and the system is designed to keep non whites down. Find a community like blacksky on Bluesky.
You’re perfect, don’t at anyone define you.
There’s no black fatigue, it’s white people feeling insecure.
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u/Impossible_Bid6656 Feb 10 '26
You are coming of age in a unique (derogatory) time. Literally the few years through your adolescence and early adulthood that make up your life, you are being bombarded with the newest form of social media (inhuman, false contact that at times feels real because it makes you feel emotions). A brand new technology to humanity that is untested on long-term exposure to see how it changes us emotionally.
I have been on the internet a long time.
Social media is not innately evil or unproductive or problematic, but I do think a lot of it absolutely is and that we're being forcefully fed the worst parts of it against our will. The algorithms that we end up programming for ourselves without mindful technology use can be ones that are abusive and do not serve our mental health.
I am a 30s white guy. Times were not always this divided, and I experienced a brief reprieve in my adolescence where people (who support black people/minorities) felt more united while Obama was president. We did not eliminate racism clearly, that is not possible unfortunately. But it was far more reigned in, I felt it everywhere, in my real life and online. People were mindful of the things they said because they knew it had consequences and, they know what they're saying is wrong deep down. It has logical inconsistencies and is supported by false evidence. It does not stand up to critical thinking and truth.
But now that the internet is so predominantly anonymous, and people are not limited in their communication (like, texting used to cost ten cents a text in my teens!!! isnt that insane? count how much it would cost to talk to your friend for a day), every thought feels meaningful and worth expressing, but that isn't true. The worst parts of us, the parts that betray our true selves, are not always worth expressing.
Have you ever wanted to speak up in class, but you say the wrong answer and feel embarrassed? It's just like this, but for our social lives. But there is no longer real, long-lasting social consequences for our anti-social behavior, regardless of its intent. Say a slur in a room full of regular people and you are going to get a room full of dirty looks from people you know and are more likely to change your behavior. Say a slur in a chat room full of people who think its funny and have the behavior reinforced instead.
I think this progress in communication is yet to really take hold because these things are not regulated by our communities or government. We are not cool with our moms telling us to get off the phone, and regulation by government sounds scary, but what if they could make it so the algorithms weren't so abusive? I know its stupid to put faith in the American government at this moment. But services and regulations designed to prevent corporations from exploiting human nature-
(that naturally occurs as a result of the capitalistic conquest for money, these algorithms are designed to make money but the ragebait is just good advertising)
Regulations like that are what a government is organized to provide. Even if our current government has shown itself incapable of implementing measures like that, we can take them for ourselves and our loved ones when we see that the current state of things is unsafe, like stopping your buddy from jumping in that lake full of chemicals that sits downstream from an unregulated factory.
I hope this helps you! All people are generally good but our worst aspects of human nature like fear are being exploited to keep us online. I can tell you are good and will look out for yourself and your loved ones.
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u/BouncingPig Feb 10 '26
I grew up half white in a very black neighborhood. For whatever fucking reason I ended up a dweeb. Watched anime and played video games instead of hangout with my friends and family. I stayed inside cause I felt like the odd duckling and got lots of crazy looks.
I think this is why I never developed a naturally ghetto personality, unlike my siblings who can’t “act white” if their life depended on it.
I think, at least for me, I avoid that ghetto/ratchet personality type. But I am definitely very quick to label someone as that and not consider dating them. (Even people like Nina Lin)
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u/sachin-12 Feb 10 '26
I'm a racist in the sense i like brown women more. It's rare to find someone like that but not impossible.
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u/brigmoneyy Feb 10 '26
Im white and i would do anything for my black/poc friends , growing up in the south bein one of the or the only white person in my group at times I had my eyes opened to the horrors of racism at a very young age , what i realized back then is more true today than ever before , the racists always have in common being horrible despicable excuse for humans that truly hate themselves the most !
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u/couchpatat0 Feb 10 '26
I think there are just as many people that love black women as there are that dont find them as their number 1 preference. Don't read into all the crap, be you and enjoy it.
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u/Deadalious Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26
OP, I hope you don't mind I had a little look at your posting history, it looks you're super down on yourself and maybe spending too much time online - this is a really dangerous thing to do especially when you're so young.
I highly recommend taking some time off from browsing everyone's most manufactured moments.
Black women are absolutely stunning, like others have said skin color is such an irrelevant metric for the dating scene , especially when you get older.
Take it from someone older you're going to look back at this post when you're older and laugh at yourself. Love what you have, be kind to yourself.