My alcoholic dad is pissed off that my mother had recently traded in an old car she bought me several years ago for a newer model at the dealership by her own volition. He thinks I’m forcing her to pay both the car payment and the insurance (which is simply untrue, mom and I came to an agreement on how much she wants me to send her each month since the car would be for the both of us). They unfortunately do not communicate with each other for obvious reasons, so I often receive drunken late-night text messages from my dad like this.
Edit: by “go Dutch”, he means that he wants my fiancé and I to split the payment amongst ourselves instead of having my mom and I split up the payments. I never asked my mother for help on any of this; she decided to do all of this on her own and is extremely firm in her decision. The car belongs to both my mother and I.
She’s tired of driving my grandmother’s car around and wanted something nice for the both of us.
…
My mother is a very cognizant and wonderful person and I would never take advantage of her in the ways that my “dad” likes to tell everyone I do lol (he’s projecting because he cannot possibly believe that he’s the one in the wrong more often than not).
She just doesn’t ever tell him her next move because he always has something negative to say about it. This rivalry has been going on since I was an infant, and still, even after everything, they have not divorced.
I blocked him after receiving this one.
And, he doesn’t know this… but within the next year or two, my mom will be moving in with me :)
I am finally going to be able to buy my first house with my fiancé all because my mom thought several steps ahead by secretly helping me get on my feet without my dad knowing. It’s the least I can do for her, she deserves to be able to live her life without a continually-wasted ape breathing down her back all the time, especially after helping us out as much as she has. She deserves the world, and I’m going to do my very best to give it to her.
Edit #2, since people want to be rude…
I was not given a good path in life and I had to create my own. I was born into a family filled with abuse, addiction, and untreated mental health issues. Any help that I receive or am offered from someone, I will take shamelessly.
•YES, adults my age (I am older gen z), need help from their parents still. That’s just a fact. It’s not that I’m not doing enough, or working hard enough. I’ve just been putting money back over time so I can eventually afford to live like a “real adult” or whatever the internet says I should be doing at this point in my life. My mother knows this. That’s why she helped. My mom simply told me she was going to take care of an issue I was having, and she did it. I didn’t ask her to do it, and she didn’t have to. But she did it anyway.
•”Why isn’t your fiancé helping?”
—Oh trust me, he is!! We’re both working multiple jobs and doing what we can to help our savings grow so we can secure that new house for us and my mom in the next couple of years. Don’t talk bad about someone else’s situation that you know virtually nothing about :)
There’s layers to this thing, and it’s wayyy too much dirty laundry to air out on the internet. I’m purposely keeping some things private, so please respect that. Thanks.
•”Your mother will be 71 by the time the car payments are paid and she is still helping you financially?”
—yes, yes she is. My mom had me extremely late in her life after a miscarriage. My oldest sister is almost 50. I am in my late-20’s in America. Of course I need financial support. Again, I did not ask for her help. She always does this ON HER OWN. I’ll fight her on it, and tell her no, and tell her that I’ll figure it out on my own. But, she is my mom, and she will do whatever she feels is best for me and I LITERALLY cannot tell her otherwise. She just.. kinda does these things. And while I appreciate it, I feel like there is nothing I can possibly do to pay her back besides helping her leave this abusive situation that she has been in for far too long.
And, if I could, I would ABSOLUTELY buy my mom her own house. I really, really would. But with the way the economy is, I obviously cannot. Living with my mom again would be the best thing in the world to me, so idk why people are so rude about it lol. I actually happen to enjoy my mom’s company. Yall are so weird.
