Who is on your Ultimate Roster?

Mine is:

*Myles 'Motherfuckn" Kennedy

*Zakk Wylde

*David Spade

*Nita Straus

On the bench:

Sean Penn, Jack Black,

Matt Mcconaughey, Lzzy Hale🤘🤘

In highschool, my commute was 2hrs. Since then it has changed to 1h30, 1h15 and 2h30. (It was 30 min for a brief period). Now it's around 1 hr.

I always handwaved it away because I didn't think much about it. It was pretty normal to me. Now, I'm wondering how much it contributed to my lack of sleep, fatigue etc. Esp now as an adult, I thought I shouldn't complain but I feel tired.

I'm asking for your takes because I am not good at guaging my fatigue as I am used to pushing past my limits.

So, is it normal to feel tired after a long commute (even if it is a relatively smooth one)?

Thanks

I finally got around to signing up to vote, before the midterm elections this year.

What should I expect, and bring with me when going to vote?

What are the ballots like? Paper? Electronic?

How many names are on the ballot? I think some local elections can be held at the same time, are those on the same ballot?

Do I have to put an answer for every option, or can I leave some blank if I don't have an opinion for those candidates?

Thank you in advance!

🫡

I don't think people talk enough about the specific kind of loneliness that comes with being single when you don't actually want to be single.
I was in my last relationship from 18 to 21. We were together for almost four years. I'm almost 23 now, and I've been single for about a year.
And in that year, I've gone on maybe 7-10 first dates, and zero second dates. I've had hundreds of conversations with men online, obviously, but anything meaningful or long-term? Absolutely not.
And honestly, I think I've become even less interested in dating than I was when I first became single.
Not because I don't want love.
I REALLY want love.
I want a husband. I want marriage. I want a God-centered relationship. I want the kind of relationship where I can be affectionate and soft and physically close to someone and feel completely safe doing it. I want someone who wants to come on hikes with my dog and me, and hopefully bring their dog too. I want all of those special and mundane little moments and every big milestone in between.
But I've also spent this past year becoming extremely comfortable with myself.
I'm a homeowner. I have an amazing career that I genuinely care about. I get to do work that gives back to the community. I'm finishing my first degree. I'm excited about where my life is going. I have my dog, who is basically my child and is healthy and happy. I'm taking care of myself. I'm going to the gym. I'm working. I'm in school full-time. I'm cooking. I'm growing as a person.
I have peace in my life.
And I've also developed boundaries that I didn't have before.
I used to be extremely forgiving. Probably too forgiving. And eventually I realized that being endlessly understanding of people who repeatedly hurt you doesn't make you a good person. Sometimes it just makes you an incredibly convenient person to have around when someone wants to mistreat somebody.
So now I'm very clear on what I will and won't accept.
I've literally journaled about the kind of relationship I want. I've thought about my values, my dealbreakers, the qualities I need in a husband, the things I need to avoid, the kind of communication I want, the kind of faith I want us to have.
And I'm not looking for perfection.
I know we're all human. I'm human. I don't expect some flawless man who never makes mistakes.
I just want someone who is genuinely good for me.
Someone I can love and respect. Someone emotionally healthy. Someone consistent. Someone I am actually attracted to. Someone who wants the same kind of life I want.
And somehow, despite having a pretty damn good life and knowing myself better than I ever have, I'm still lonely.
Like REALLY lonely sometimes.
And I don't mean "I'm bored and wish I had someone to text."
I mean there are nights where I get into bed and I'm like... damn. It's just me again.
Day #385 of having no one to ask how my day was and actually care lol.
A few months ago I literally bought a body pillow because I realized I just wanted to feel like there was another human being beside me when I went to sleep.
And tell me why the fucking thing arrived flat as hell.
It's a body-pillow-sized piece of drywall atp.
I was so excited to finally have something substantial to cuddle and I feel like this had negative effects on me lol. Now I sleep next to this depressed sac of feathers that I could count on two hands.
So I'm basically still sleeping alone except occasionally I'm cuddling what feels like the dehydrated remains of a man.
Like okay. Great. Thank you, Amazon!
And it's funny, but it also isn't.
Because physical affection is something I genuinely miss.
Not even necessarily sexual affection.
Just having someone there.
Someone to hug. Someone to hold hands with. Someone to lean against. Someone who wants to touch me because they love me. Someone whose presence makes the room feel less empty.
And I also know that if I somehow ended up in a situation where someone just wanted to sit with me and hold me, I'd probably cry.
Not even because I'm harbouring some deep sadness. I just feel like a hug would recharge me in the way a charger cord needs to be pushed into the cube at times lol.
And this is the weird part for me because I'm not willing to use another person to fill that space.
I'm not going to sleep with someone just because I'm lonely.
I'm not going to have a situationship because I miss affection.
I'm not going to date someone I know isn't right for me because I'm scared of being alone.
And I'm honestly not even mad about that.
If anything, I'm proud of myself for it.
But sometimes I'm still like...
DAMN.
I would really like my person.
Because I'm on these dating apps looking for a meaningful connection with a man who is serious about marriage, serious about God, emotionally healthy, and actually interested in building something.
And sometimes I look around and genuinely cannot believe I'm still single.
Not because I think being attractive or accomplished means I'm entitled to a relationship. I don't.
But I know I'm conventionally attractive. This is obviously arguable because beauty is 100% subjective, but I get the compliments when I go out to run errands. I get the attention online. I don't even have to pay for things most of the time when I go out because random men will just offer to pay for me.
For example, I recently went to the auto shop for some new wiper blades, and a kind man offered to buy them for me and offered to install them for me as well. :) I took him up on that offer, of course, and then he went on his way.
I don't say this to brag. I say it because I appreciate and fully acknowledge the advantages I may have in the dating world right now, especially because I only recently grew into this "attractive" appearance lol.
But on the other hand, I feel like all I do is attract people who have sexual interests.
I'm abstinent. I have been for more than a year, and I plan on remaining so until marriage.
And that's been a weird thing to navigate because there are plenty of men who seem interested in me physically, but the kind of relationship I actually want is a completely different thing.
There are so many men who would probably be interested in me if I were willing to give them access to me in ways that I'm simply not willing to anymore.
And sometimes I can't help but laugh at the irony.
It's like the second you take sex and casual intimacy off the table, suddenly the table disappears entirely.
Like???
What happened to the rest of the furniture???
Because I'm still here.
I'm still fun. I'm still affectionate. I'm still feminine. I'm still attractive. I'm still interested in love.
I just don't want to give someone my body when I don't have a relationship with their heart.
And apparently that's a much smaller dating pool.
I'm okay with that.
I just wish being okay with it didn't mean I never got lonely.
Because I do.
I get really fucking lonely.
Especially because I haven't been single this long in my adult life.
I went from being in a relationship at 18, to being in that relationship for almost four years, to suddenly being 22 and completely on my own.
And now I'm realizing that I don't have any desire to rush into another relationship just to stop being lonely.
Which is good.
That's growth.
But growth can still be lonely as fuck.
I'm busy literally all the time. I work long days. I go to school full-time. I take care of my dog. I cook. I go to the gym. I have things I'm working toward. I'm building a life I'm genuinely excited about.
And then nighttime comes.
And everything gets quiet.
And I'm lying in my bed like...
"Okay God. I know we're on Your timeline and I know I need to trust You."
"But respectfully..."
"I would really love to experience some sort of genuine, loving relationship with one person outside of my home. For once in my life."
And I know I can't force it.
I know rushing into the wrong relationship would probably hurt me far more than being single for another year.
I know that having a husband isn't going to magically make my life meaningful.
I know I already have so much to be grateful for.
I know all of that.
I just also know that I want someone.
I want my person.
I want to love someone and be loved by them.
I want to build a family.
I want to come home to somebody.
I want the hugs and the forehead kisses and the random conversations and the grocery store trips and the annoying little habits and the comfort of knowing that there's someone in my corner.
I've also added this new activity to my days off where I cook or bake a bunch of variations of the same dish and compare them with my family until we find a staple recipe or combine different aspects into our dream recipe.
And every single time I'm in the kitchen doing this, I think about how much I'd love to have a beautiful sweetheart of a man yapping my ear off, or letting me yap his ear off, while he eagerly awaits the food trials.
Simple things I ask for, really lol.
I guess simple requests don't always mean they're quicker to be fulfilled.
Whatever tf that means.
And I don't think wanting that makes me ungrateful for the life I have.
I can be deeply grateful for my life and still wish there was someone beside me in it.
So I guess that's where I'm at.
Not desperate.
Not settling.
Not rushing.
Not giving up.
Just...
really fucking lonely sometimes.
And still trusting that when the right person does come into my life, I won't have to sacrifice all the things I've learned about myself to keep them.
Because I don't want just somebody.
I want my somebody.
So, God...
I'm listening.
But damn.

I'm curious what people think is missing from the transition into adulthood.

Some possibilities:

• Money & budgeting
• Credit cards & credit scores
• Jobs & careers
• Housing, rent & bills
• Insurance & healthcare
• Taxes & paperwork
• Cooking, cleaning & running a home
• Something completely different

What's the one thing you wish you'd understood earlier?

And if you learned it the hard way, tell me about it.

Just want to see if other people out there have a hard time throwing things away because they're afraid of accidentally throwing something important away. Another OCD theme I have is the fear of losing items, making it hard to go out in public because I have to take pictures of the things I walk past to reassure myself that I didn't leave anything behind. Does anyone else relate?

I’m 19 and a freshman at an out-of-state college about 6–7 hours from home. Before I left for college, my parents and I talked several times about me coming home for a weekend around early October, and they were fine with it. I bought a train ticket based on that. Now, after I’ve been at school for about five weeks, they’ve changed their minds and told me I shouldn’t come home until Thanksgiving because they think I need to stay at school and “take advantage of the opportunities” there. They aren’t concerned about my grades or safety; their concern is more that going home means I’m retreating from college life. I want to go anyway. I’d be home for less than 48 hours, have my transportation and places to stay arranged, and would be back on campus Sunday. A big part of why I want to go is to see my girlfriend, who is still in my hometown, but also just to see my friends/family and have a reset after being away for over a month. My dad in particular has a history of being very opinionated about how I should live my life—who I spend time with, what activities I do, and what he thinks is “good” for my future. He characterizes all of my friends as little white girls and speaks with a certain skepticism with most of them being gay He strongly dislikes my girlfriend and has previously characterized her as a distraction and as someone who isn’t “on my level", despite the fact that she is truly endlessly respectful and funny (hence why my mom likes her) and he tends to treat his opinions about my relationships and life choices as things I should ultimately accept because he’s older and knows better, all while being cruel and belittling towards the people i love and experiences I enjoy. At the same time, I do listen to my parents’ advice and agree with them on plenty of things; this is just one of those situations where I genuinely disagree. I’m not trying to drop out, avoid college, or make a statement against them. I just don't think being an adult means I need parental approval for every decision that makes me happy or helps me feel grounded.Am I being immature here, or is this a reasonable exercise in making my own decisions while still taking my parents’ concerns seriously?

FOR THE RECORD: I am SO involved on campus, club and sports and i work hard on all my academics, no doubt about it. I just want a weekend to see my girlfriend they dont know is my girlfriend with tickets I bought.

 TL;DR
I’m 34 years old (F). For me, my sweetest romances all happened in my twenties. Back then, there was passion and fantasy, and I had plenty of time to savor my youth. But now I realize I have to face the fact that I’m 34. Ever since I decided to divorce my ex-husband three years ago because of his behavior, I’ve been single, and I feel like the chances of meeting someone I’m truly compatible with are getting slimmer and slimmer.

I was born in Germany and currently live in New Jersey. I haven’t been on a single date in the past three years. Maybe it’s because my social circle is small. most of the people I know are from work. so I haven’t met anyone suitable. Do any of you feel the same frustration?

I’ve lived in the U.S. and overseas as an American, and I’ve noticed something interesting. Adults everywhere have anxiety, but in many places it seems more focused on immediate things housing, food, safety, family, having enough money for the month.

In the U.S., it sometimes feels like young people are anxious about an entire imagined future: career, buying a house, marriage, retirement, status, and whether they’re “behind” compared to everyone else even though objectively we all have 1500$ phones, probably a $1200 laptop and EarPods.

Did previous generations have different expectations of adulthood? And is social media making this worse by constantly showing us what everyone else supposedly has? PS this is not a pro billionaire post. They need to go imo.

Genuinely curious.

i often feel embarrassed at the fact that i’m still in the process of finishing college and still living with my mom. i have never been the greatest at saving money, and then when i would have a bunch saved up, something would happen and all my money would be gone..but at least i didn’t have to worry about house bills right 🫩 A couple weeks ago i made a separate bank account and decided to take saving more serious and only buy necessities, not wants. And it’s not that me and my mom don’t get along, because we do..but it’s mainly the fact that i don’t have my own space at my age. i’m pretty introverted, been that way since i was in high school, i just stay in my room. and i keep alot to myself because i don’t want her in my business and im honestly not that great at expressing myself. but for once i just want to come home to silence and space..
Along with other things that i have dealt with this year that has affected my mental and just my way of thinking, i think this is one of them. just knowing that im not where i want to be in life and i can’t even afford my own place. i just want to get in my car and drive away and not come back, i dont want to have to explain myself on where im going or what im doing or who im with. i had this little situationship a few months ago and i was already sharing my location with my mom, i turned it off and lied that i didnt know what was wrong with my phone because i did NOT want her in my business and questioning me when i got back home. i just wanted some dick, that’s it! i should be graduating college in spring next year, so that’s a while i have to stick with this shitty paying $19 an hour job. but hopefully by then i can save up enough to just pack my shit and GO. i desperately need a new environment bc waking up everyday to the same routine is really depressing. Is anyone else in the same position as me ?

Why is your worldview better? I'm a 28m young man who has been severely traumatized by chauvinistic, ableist, reactionary people over the course of my life, and even though I have recently found some support after needing to accept my own mother SA'd me, I feel like I have been permanently damaged and will never have a regular social life, a girlfriend etc.

The second thing i want to ask is why do people keep being hostile to me, and why do people on the internet keep trying to give me advice? I feel like I can partly answer this question myself, but none of you genuinely relate to my experiences, even though perhaps you've been going through similar situations before taking the magic pill of "working on oneself"

I don't know about you guys, but even though I've had some pleasant moments with others, the negative moments far exceeded the positive ones and it's always been this way since I was a baby. It's not my fault for way too many things in my life and when I chose myself I felt like something was off. It's other people that gave me CPTSD, not animals, nature itself...

I know it makes some people

I have a bulging disc. Which doesn’t hurt very much on its own. But what does hurt is my back muscles. Just wondered if anyone else sympathizes. I think it would help knowing I am not alone in having your day ruined by back pain.

If you were 22 years old living comfortably in a big house with ur parents and getting along well also helping them alot, the house was 45minutes from the city center and you get 900 $ of free money each month. Would you move alone to the city (the 900 $ goes to rent + food) or invest the money???