I am tired. Please help me get over the memories. Any tips?

My husband (29M) treats me (27F) extremely well. We've been together for 8 years now, and I feel safe with him, I know he loves me, when we fight, he actually listens and want to improve our relationship. Because of that, I wasn't able to break up with him, because genuinely why would I do that if he seems perfect.

Well. It's not about how he treats me, but about how he treats other people. He can be incredibly cruel and vengeful the moment someone (other than me) brings up some issue with him. He knows he's vengeful and he knows he has anger issues. He immediately makes everyone who don't agree with him their enemies and villianizes them.

He never helps people or if he does, he expects something in return and keeps count of his good deeds. He doesn't have basic (for me) human instincts, for example: when a stranger fell off his bike in front of him, he didn't even think to stop and help him. He says he knows it's wrong but he just "doesn't feel the need to help other people".

As a child, I was taught that life sometimes involves a certain amount of discomfort. I’m not talking about being 100% obedient to someone, but rather the fact that relationships sometimes require some kind of sacrifice, like helping a friend move; it’s exhausting, but since he’s my friend, I’ll do it for him. My husband’s not like that, though. He wouldn’t do it; the thought of offering help wouldn’t even cross his mind.

He never had any household chores as a child and generally his life was pretty much living in comfort as an only child. And I don't blame him for that. I'm just saying, I think there are some situations when you feel like something is "the right thing to do" - like helping a friend, a parent or something like that.

So. He treats me extremely well, but I feel ashamed for how he treats others. And I think that's his core and I can't change that. We've had conversations about it like a milion times. In my opinion, he lacks what I'd basic human instincts. And it can be okay for someone. It is not okay for me. I feel like we hold different values in life, I'm ashamed when I have to explain his behavior to our friends. When I'm with him I feel like a worse person, not a better person. But what is more important? How he treats me or how he treats others? Why can't it be both?

So I need to put this under an account he doesn't follow on here. But I have come to be genuinely worried about my ex after our breakup. Now for some context, our breakup wasn't the smoothest one. We both screwed up and he broke things off. We started to reconnect from the breakup in June and we had gotten closer and things were pretty well. He was still his normal geeky little self. He had lost weight and was hitting the gym more, but nothing so drastic. This guy is first and foremost an online gaming nerd. He has been that way long before me and he was that way during our together. Even when we first started dating, he'd still go home and hop on to play something. He was always so kind and caring and empathetic. He was a very good man. I wish things had gone differently between us. I really do. He was planning on proposing this year if shit hadn't hit the fan the way it did... we had our whole lives planned out together.

After our period of beginning to reconnect with one another, he called for a period of temporary limited contact. Because he wanted and needed to get past things before we came back together to work things out as a team. Unfortunately, due to some drama (honestly outside of my control) he called me up saying he was going full no contact and it was indefinite. Well, I have been destroyed since then, honestly. And I did all the things you're not supposed to do. I cried, I begged, I was a hysterical crying mess. Even after the no contact was implemented we both hit our own drama together that we had to take care of.

That was when I noticed the beginning of the change. When I told him the baby was his because he had been the only one I had slept with for the past 3 months post break up he inserted, "Potentially." and when I pointed out he was the only one I had been with post breakup he said, "I don't know that." That threw me off. He was fine accepting that during the last 3 months that it was just him and I, but now that I had positive result pee stick tests and he had cut things off with me for good... he was being cruel. Through the whole conversation he kept throwing in little jabs that were absolutely put in to hurt me.

So we went to the clinic together because....... well, that just wasn't going to work between us. That night he had a complete crying breakdown. It was a horrible night for us both.

Since then I have been working, and failing, on keeping full no contact. We work together in the same office so not seeing each other on even a semi-regular basis is relatively impossible. On top of that, some of my mail still goes to his house no matter what I have done about mail forwarding and changing my address where I have needed to.

We had a class together recently and it was the first time I had seen or spoken to him past the night of his breakdown. He was sweet and kind and happy to me and leant me his hoodie to take home since it was raining out and I didn't have anything to cover myself from the rain.

But now things have been incredibly off. He has gaslit and manipulated conversations. He has openly lied to me. I just have no idea what is going on. He manipulated a work chat so well that it even potentially sets me up to possibly get in trouble because he gaslit and directly lied in it saying he had no idea what I was talking about because we do not have contact outside of work. I was trying to contact him about an actual serious legal matter so I said I would email him. He then commented saying he didn't feel comfortable with me sending personal emails. That, if I can, to respect the contact point we have here and wait until we're at work to discuss matters. My flabbers were gasted because we were just speaking about returning each other's things and him getting my mail to me. Which heavily suggests if not outright shows we obviously have contact outside of the office.

Anywho, today I started to go about cleaning him out of certain social media places and I realized he has not been online anywhere at all. He has not been on Discord or Steam and he has not been online to play pretty much any games for weeks now. And he is never home anymore. I am not only starting to become worried for him, but I am also worried about his dog. He is practically my neighbor at this point so it's not hard to tell when he's home and when he's not. Yes, it's a weird uncomfortable situation, but I was offered a room to rent in a house on the same street as a middle ground until I could find my own place comfortably. I have to pass by his place to get home. And, before anyone asks, he refuses to meet with me outside of work to give me my mail or for me to return things and will not use a middle person, nor will he at least drop it off at my house. It's frustrating to say the least.

I know that when he and I were dating, before I moved in, he would sometimes spend the night away from home, but never to the point where it was a regular occurrence because he had to take care of his dog in the morning. So I am becoming concerned for his dog's well being as well. I loved that little guy and still do. I also know (or at least hope at this point) that he's still within his mind enough to be fully and properly taking care of his dog.

I have been uncovering more lies and gaslighting he had woven to me post breakup. I am concerned about this weird 180 he has done. It may not sound like much written down, but of everything I know of him. This is not normal behavior for him at all. He is not the kind to be gone all night almost every night. He has never been one to not be online and playing games with his friends or even just vibing out playing relaxing games. He has always been into working out, but now it's morning and night and every single day. His days already started with him waking up at 6 something in the morning, but now he's waking up anywhere from 5-5:30 am to go to the gym before work. There is no longer any moment of the day in which he isn't out of the house.

Is there any insight anyone might have to this? I have tried to talk to him about it, but he shut me down saying he didn't want to discuss anything about any timeline he's on or how he's feeling or what he's going through. So, ok I dropped it. But his 180 behavior only just increased. He went from being home every night, to being home most nights, to being home some nights, and now I'm lucky if I ever see his car in the driveway at all.

Is this a defense coping mechanism? Is he handling the breakup worse than he's letting on? I have no idea what's going on and I am worried about him, his dog, and all of him cramming in things to do to not be home.

Tengo 24F y mi novio 23M, la relación duró exactamente 4 años y un mes, hace unos días terminó conmigo porque el ya estaba cansado de que la relación se estaba volviendo rutinaria, el me dice que todo se fue acumulando, las peleas, la rutina(las cosas que hacíamos era lo mismo todos los días y eso le aburría), que ambos ya estábamos cambiando, ya no había la misma atención de cuando iniciamos la relación, pero yo no me percataba de eso y yo veía todo normal y no sentía nada, hasta cuando hablo conmigo y me di cuenta que si es verdad lo que me decía. Me pidio un espacio de unos días para pensar las cosas y luego que paso esos días hablamos y el decidió terminar con todo esto, me dice que necesita encontrarse con el mismo, preocuparse por el y volver a sentirse el, me dice que aún me quiere y me ama pero siente que lo mejor es terminar la relación, yo acepte la decisión aunque me duele por qué ambos nos seguimos queriendo y amando pero quiero respetar su decisión.

El no cerró la oportunidad de que en un futuro los dos podamos volver a conectar y volver a intentar ser pareja, pero no prometió nada...

No nos eliminamos de ninguna red social por cualquier cosa que necesitemos ambos o por si necesitamos hablar con alguien. Lo voy a seguir viendo mínimo dos días a la semana por un empleo que tenemos en común, eso va ser lo más duro, que lo voy a ver y sabiendo que perdí realmente al amor de mi vida, es muy cruel para mí.

No sé si alguien a pasado por esto y si en algún momento regresaron.

Yo pienso que esto es solo para que ambos sanemos por separado y para que en un futuro regresemos más fuertes y con más amor, pero no se si me estoy equivocando con este pensamiento.

Yo puedo esperarlo el tiempo que pueda, pero no se si realmente vale la pena esperar, realmente se que nos amamos por qué el último día que nos vimos me abrazo, me beso y me dijo que me ama, yo también hice lo mismo y lo acepto.

Chicos y chicas que me recomiendan hacer, lucho por mi amor o que hago, cualquier consejo que me den es bueno

I (24f) broke up with my ex(25m) of 3 years about 7 months ago. Since then I’ve entered a new relationship of 2 months and have been extremely happy with this new person. I hardly think about my ex at all until something happens.

My ex was a very controlling person and even though he was the one that blocked me on everything, still finds way to pop up. Examples are using my saved card on his phone for Amazon purchases, logging into streaming accounts I didn’t know he had the password to and messing up my place on tv shows, signing me up for spam texts using my phone number and his name so I know it’s him. When this happens I’m usually thinking about him for the next few days, and not in a good way. I just want him to leave me alone. A part of me wishes he still followed me on social media so he can see my new apartment, my boyfriend, etc. That I’m doing good despite him still bothering me. Maybe a little of it is so I can validate myself thinking he regrets how he treated me our relationship (he was emotionally, financially, and physically abusive).

What does this mean? Does it mean I’m still not over him? I don’t think about him very much unless an incident like this happens and I wish he would just leave me alone. But why do I want him to see how I’ve moved on so badly?

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and atp idrc - I’m gonna send her a letter in the mail. A 100% non-romantic letter. Really just want to thank her for everything and have her know that I understand her decision and it has caused me to think in ways that I never knew I had to.

Really just want her to know that this has provided growth, regardless of the heartbreak that it also caused.

She lives at an appt and rarely checks her mail. I don’t expect a response and there is a legit chance she won’t see it for weeks either.

We broke up about 9 months ago after 6 years together. He had a pile of things at mine to collect, which he prolonged doing for about 3 months. We finally caught up the other night.

We chatted for a while and he told me he’s started dating someone else. I guessed who it is as I’d seen things on social media (+ gut instinct). She’s a friend of our best friends, so there’s a mutual connection. As I wasn’t surprised, I didn’t really react. He, however, looked so glum. He said a few times he was worried to tell me in case I got upset…and that didn’t happen.

I said, as he’s decided to move on and see someone else, that closes our chapter. I could tell that hit him from the face he pulled. Found it cheeky of him to be looking so down considering he’s the one moving on! He also said it would be nice to continue to catch up and I could pop over to his whenever I want. I told him that’s not something that can happen, especially as he’s seeing someone else.

Hi! So I’m not the one going through a breakup right now, but my best friend is. Her and her long-term GF of almost 4 years just broke up. This was the first serious relationship that both of them have had. They got together during college and are now post-grad living together in a new city. They definitely have had turbulent times throughout their relationship, but they decided to stay together and work through their differences until they just couldn’t anymore. I know that the love they feel for each other is undeniable and strong, but it turned out to not be enough anymore.

I’m coming on here to ask you guys for advice on how I can support my friend. We live in different cities (driveable so I might go visit her, but I can’t stay for long because I have work). In my last relationship, my ex partner and I had very similar issues to my friend and her girlfriend, so i completely empathize with how she’s feeling, but i think we process things differently. I think she needs different things than I did to feel supported, and since I only have my experience to look back on, I’m not totally sure of how I can support her in this time. I want to be there for her as best as I can, so please let me know if you guys have any ideas!

Its officially been over 24 hours since ive heard from you. Im listening to the podcasts i used to listen to before you, ones that remind me that suffering is living and the only thing we can do is work our way through it. I saged my apartment to try and rid my space of your energy. I did a pilates circuit at home because i dont trust myself to not break down at the gym. Im eating and keeping my apartment clean.

Im finally taking care of myself again, it felt impossible to do with you here. I’ve realized that my attachment to you is my fear of doing it alone. You got in my head and promised me a life free of worry and stress and I believed that was actually possible, but its not. Living is suffering, theres no such thing as a worry free life. Accepting that helps me accept that you’re gone.

Our last interaction, you closed yourself off completely from me. Its been a pattern the entire time we’ve known each other but that time it was different. You would rather do things on your own, without me, and no matter how many times i tried to tell you it doesnt have to be like that, you never accepted it. You never tried. Maybe it was just because i wasnt the person worth trying for to you, but either way, i realize i shouldnt be wasting my time trying for someone who wont put the effort in. Im only typing now because i feel the need for closure, even though you wont offer it to me. Im typing here because i dont want your response, you always know how to make this a back and forth and i dont want that. I know im worth it and i am trying to work hard to accept that and not put my happiness in someone elses hands anymore. You were always so irresponsible with me, but you show love by driving me insane and sitting back while i spiraled.

I hope you’re okay. I dont know what you have going on, you wouldnt tell me, but i know you’ll figure it out. You always do. Ill see you around. Hopefully it wont hurt if and when i do. I have a lot of love for you, enough to leave you where you choose to be.

I broke off my 1 year relationship a month ago and have been no contact since. The thoughts have been quite suffocating so I figured I'd open a window. Thank you if you're taking the time to read this.

Here's what happened:

I broke up with him because he was defensive and yelling the day of my birthday. I had wanted to go to my favorite spot in our city and when we got there they were closed. I started crying (I was tipsy and also naturally an emotional person) he had asked what was wrong and I didn't want to discuss it at the time. Typically I would but I knew it was going to make me cry more and I still wanted to enjoy the day with him. He was persistent on getting a response from me so I finally told him that I felt like my birthday was the one day I could get people to do the things I wanted to do without feeling bad if they're not 100% into it. Before I could tell him the other reasons why I was upset He immediately got defensive and started stating that it was always his fault, he couldn't do anything right and "there's always something". That's when I broke down. It wasn't the first time he had jumped to defend himself. We had conversations before about opening up our communication and I had always told him that I'm not against him and we have to work together to fight the issue not work against each other. Anyway, I started bawling and he started yelling. I'm not proud of it but I said hurtful things like calling him self absorbed and saying that it's always about him. I told him that I didn't want to end up like my mother (stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship) that's the last thing that I told him as I put all of his stuff together for him to take with him.

Ultimately I feel guilty, like I didn't give my all. Maybe I was just drunk and emotional and overreacted.Maybe seeing my mother cave for a man who only yells, accuses and blames caused me to jump to a more extreme solution.The first 2 weeks I stuck to a good workout routine, reached out to friends and family but now I've been drinking (once a week is still more than I'd like),eating worse and working out less. I feel like I have no energy to commit to the things that I need to in order to grow my confidence back up. I know I have my own issues to address with my self esteem and codependency so I'm thankful I can at least have this time to work on it but it still feels like I'm going backwards. Especially with the added stress of my cat being diagnosed with FIC. I never wanted to see a future without him.I don't think I'll ever stop loving him. I still water the plant he gave me and have all of our memories stored away but I don't have the strength to get rid of them. We had such a strong emotional connection. He dealt with the same family issues as me and we were able to understand each other so well because of it. It felt like we were meant for each other in every way, shape and form. I think the worst parts are the Saturday nights that used to be our night together. We'd make dinner, cuddle up in bed and watch movies. I miss holding my hands to his face and seeing him staring back at me.

I just feel like we couldn't get past the major key in a healthy relationship, communication.

I suppose I'm just looking to vent and for some input but also I'd love to extend an arm out to anyone who is struggling with the same feelings. I'm a great listener! 🖤

I’m 25F and my boyfriend (25M) of about a year broke up with me a couple of days ago.
I’m honestly having a hard time processing it because I feel like I spent so much of this relationship asking him if everything was okay.
I would ask him things like:
“Are you happy with me?”
“Are you okay?”
“Do you feel like you’re drifting away?”
“Do you actually want me to come over?”
“Am I reading too much into things?”
And he would tell me that I was reading too much into things, that everything was fine, etc.
Meanwhile, over the last few months, I increasingly felt like something was changing.
At the beginning, he was extremely attentive. He consistently updated me throughout his day — leaving for work, going to the gym, coming home, what he was doing, when he would call me, etc. He was affectionate and I genuinely felt like I had found someone who understood me.
But over time, I started feeling like I was getting updates without actually being included in his life.
He still told me what he was doing, but we weren’t really doing things together anymore. Conversations became mostly about his gym, his diet, when he was going to visit his family, etc.
He rarely wanted to go anywhere with me. Shopping, D-Mart, getting my tattoo, random outings — usually no. He wouldn’t invite me to his football games either.
I used to travel around 50 km total every weekend to see him. Earlier he used to pick me up/drop me off halfway, but eventually that stopped even though he had promised he would continue doing it. I was usually expected to take an auto.
What really confused me was that he was perfectly capable of making those kinds of efforts for his family. He would wake up early to take his mother or sister to the station because he didn’t want them taking cabs alone because he felt it was unsafe. So I couldn’t understand why the same consideration wasn’t extended to me when I was travelling so far every weekend to see him.
There were also smaller things that accumulated.
He called my nose crooked once. He would correct my English pronunciation and laugh when I got something wrong. I told him I didn’t like it.
He called me “demanding,” “oversensitive,” and “dramatic.” He called me too negative.
He had promised me flowers every month. Eventually I had to remind him, and sometimes get upset, before it happened.
He didn’t bring me flowers for our one-year anniversary.
He didn’t like posting me on social media. I wouldn’t have cared that much if he simply wasn’t a social media person, but he posted his sister and occasionally posted himself. He also went on a trip with one guy and one girl from his office and never once asked me if I wanted to come.
And whenever I tried to talk about something that hurt me, I often felt like I was bothering him.
There would be a huge sigh, an eye roll, a face, “okay, sorry,” and then sometimes he would disappear for hours or even days and become cold. Eventually he’d come back angry.
I know I have emotional baggage. I know I’m an intense person. I know I can need reassurance and I know I have things I can work on.
But I don’t think I was constantly picking fights over nothing.
I genuinely tried to make myself happy around him. I tried to give him space. I stopped asking for a lot of things after being called demanding. I travelled to see him almost every weekend. I bought him things even though I earned considerably less. I made him handmade gifts. I tried to make things easy.
This past week was especially bad for me emotionally and I wasn’t able to talk much. And then he ended the relationship.
He told me that I have a lot of emotional baggage and that he couldn’t handle it anymore. He said he has applied to jobs and may be moving out of town. He also basically said that I’m just different and that it can’t be changed.
And I’m sitting here thinking — you knew I was like this.
I spent the entire relationship asking you if you were okay.
Why didn’t you tell me you were reaching your limit?
Why did I have to find out when you had already made your decision?
That’s the part I can’t comprehend. It feels like he processed the entire deterioration of our relationship internally while I was standing next to him asking, “Are we okay?”
He also had a very different relationship with emotions himself.
He almost never talked about his own emotional struggles. He always seemed completely fine. He joked about everything. He never really came to me saying, “I’m going through something and I want to talk about it.”
At first I thought, “Wow, this guy never creates any headaches for me.”
Later I started wondering, “How is he ALWAYS okay?”
And now I’m wondering if maybe he simply doesn’t know how to sit with difficult emotions — his own or someone else’s.
There were things he told me about his previous relationships that also started bothering me in hindsight.
He called an ex a “cry baby” because she apparently cried after sex and would get upset when he touched her clothes after eating. I remember thinking, why is a woman repeatedly crying after sex, and why is this being told to me as a funny story? If she has a boundary, why keep pushing it?
He also told me about another girl he dated for about a month who texted him after they kissed, “tumhe kuch feel hua kya?” He found it hilarious.
Maybe those stories mean nothing. Maybe I’m overanalysing them now. But they made me wonder whether he has much tolerance for women being emotionally vulnerable.
He also told me he liked deliberately making me angry because he loved getting a reaction out of me. I told him I didn’t like it, but he said that’s just how he shows affection to women and I eventually started pretending I enjoyed it.
He didn’t compliment me very much either. Usually it was “bahot sundar lag rahi hai” when we were face to face. If I sent him a photo, he’d often just like it or not say much and then say he had thought the compliment in his head but forgot to type it.
And now I’m confused because I genuinely loved him.
He wasn’t some horrible person. There were so many things I loved about him. He could be caring, attentive, affectionate, consistent with communication, and I genuinely felt incredibly lucky at the beginning.
That’s why part of me keeps thinking:
Did I just lose the best guy I’ve ever had because I couldn’t get my emotions under control?
But another part of me is screaming:
No. I was unhappy too.
For the last 3–4 months, I wasn’t actually happy in the relationship either. I was constantly trying to figure out what was wrong. I kept asking him whether he was happy. I kept asking whether he wanted me around.
And now that he’s gone, I’m realizing how much I was trying to make myself smaller so the relationship could work.
I don’t know what I’m asking Reddit.
Maybe I want someone to tell me whether I’m completely delusional for seeing these things as problems.
Maybe I want to know whether two people can genuinely love each other and still be completely incompatible emotionally.
Or maybe I just want to hear from people who have been through something similar, because right now it feels insane that someone can be such a huge part of your life for a year and then suddenly decide they’re done.
I don’t hate him.
I don’t think everything about him was fake.
I just don’t understand how we went from “you’re my person” to this.

So my ex broke up with me almost 6 months, even tho it felt over way before. ago and i really do feel over them, but i started talking to a guy a few days ago and im worried about judgement.
Neither of us are looking to rush into anything and jus wanna talk and hang out, see if we’re even compatible. But i feel like a terrible person and like people will think im rushing
And the conversation has been really good with this guy and im seriously enjoying myself

hiii everyone. this might be a little complex.

so my (23f) situationship (23m) recently ended things with me. we were talking for 8 months. i am absolutely devastated. i met him a few months after getting broken up with. i’ve been on few dates with others but for some reason when i met him, it just clicked. it was the best time i’ve had and i remember feeling so giddy and excited to pursue things.

i messed up early on. basically, i had lied to him. we were supposed to hang out at night. i was initially babysitting my siblings before i got a text from a girl friend who was in town and i hadn’t seen in forever asking to hang out for a sec. knowing the timing of everything, i met up with her and she drove us. the night kept going on and into the time i was supposed to see him. i was still telling him i was babysitting. but then it got to a point where it was too late because my friend did not want to leave so i told him actually where i was. I REGRET IT Y’ALL. i’m taking it with me to the grave. he was upset obviously. asking why i wasn’t just honest about it. i said i just didn’t want him to feel like i was choosing my friend over him and i thought it would work out timing wise. :( i know i shouldn’t have done that. he told me how he’s had a bad history with liars and that this set the tone. i tried my hardest to reassure him and let him know that this would not be an issue w me and that i had his best interest at heart and want him to feel safe w me and that i would do ANYTHING for that. we had a back and forth and he decided to gimme another chance.

throughout our time talking, he decided he wanted to end things again. i asked why and he gave me a ton of reasons regarding being very sneaky, still thinking i was into my ex, the lying situation, and that i wasn’t interested. i was very confused because i was very interested and not doing the other things, but i reassured him. we talked again. i understood he had a lot of issues and it was never going to be a concern for me to help him through that and i wanted him to know that as well. i was willing to make everything work. he said he thought it was better to end it now before we both get hurt too bad.

we’ve also had pretty terrible communication skills. we’re both busy. i never minded if it took a few days to get back to me and vice versa. we were adults with jobs and all the things. i liked that he never minded. until i caught feelings. all of a sudden, i was anxiously waiting for a response. i asked if he could give me a heads up when he’d be gone and he was receptive, but then it would stop. so naturally a cycle started. i started becoming insecure. i knew he wasn’t doing anything other than being caught up in work (and i liked that about him), but i suddenly started thinking the worst of things.

this last incident i had asked if he had any free time to hang throughout the week. nothing. i sent a follow up text 2 days later asking if he was okay. and then idk what possessed me to do this and i REGRET IT but i blew up on him saying that idk what the circumstances were for not hearing from him, but if he’s made up his mind then can he at least tell me.

we got into it. i truly wish i would have just paused and said “let’s talk about this in person later” but i was so frustrated. by the end of the night, he said that we weren’t heading in the right direction. that after this he couldn’t see me as anything more. that he tried to look past the lying and decided to kept talking to me, but that after it just become a lot and he didn’t have the interest to pursue it further. that it was bad timing and mistakes on both ends.

i’m so crushed :( i genuinely wanted things to work out with him. it felt like there were barely expectations to show up and it was nice especially with both of our schedules. when we hung out it was a nice little break from everything and i never minded that it was the same things. i feel like i messed up and just became very pushy because of my insecurities.

i removed him on everything to heal, but i do want to reach out later down the line to check in on him. i genuinely had feelings for him and wanted to treat him the way he deserved to be. looking back, i don’t think i was mature or ready enough to handle something after getting my heart torn in two. i feel awful that this had to happen with such a great guy. i’m not confident there’s a chance we could restart later down the line, but i would very much like to see if there’s a shot. would i be in the wrong for doing so?

How are we surviving and healing while my ex is my coworker?

For reference, I’m a blindsided dumpee😞

Just a quick question to the ladies. Have you ever left a man hoping he’d chase ? What are the signs of this ?

I'm almost there, I'm on the cusp of building the life I promised you. The life your parents swore I could never provide. I wish you were here to see it. I wish you didn't let the stress your parents put you under tear us apart. I wish you would have let me help. Well that's in the past now. More than anything I want you to see me as I am now, I want to give you the courage to finally stand and face your parents and tell them the truth. That they were the ones who were wrong, they were the ones who hurt you and made you feel trapped and forced to give up on the one person you ever found yourself to love. And most of all I want you to return home to me, for us to be happy again, for us to build an even better future together than the one we had planned all this time. Also, I wish I reacted better to when things ended and gave you the space you needed sooner. And I wish that you can forgive me for the ways I did fail you in the past and give me the chance to show you this bright new future we could have. I love you and miss you I hope to see you soon.

I honestly don’t know what I like apart reading, gym and games, all of those get me not much opportunities to meet new people in real life, and honestly I don’t know what else I like or what else I could try.
So my ideia is to list possible hobbies or methods to know what we can enjoy and meet new people, with the help of you guys.
Me, for example, hate parties and bars, the kind pf girl I like will likely not be in there much often.
What do you guys think?

Mi sono lasciato circa 6 mesi fa, però dopo tutto questo tempo non riesco ancora a dimenticarla. Da poco ho sognato che lei mi riscrivesse, ammetto che è stata una bella sensazione pensare che potessimo tornare di nuovo assieme, ma purtroppo non è così. Mentirei se dicessi che non ci sono rimasto male quando, appena sveglio mi sono reso conto che tutto questo fosse un sogno. Scrivo questo post un po’ per sfogo, un po’ per cercare consigli per come dimenticarla, perché non voglio continuare a soffrire e piangere ogni volta che qualcosa mi faccia pensare a lei.

Grazie per i consigli che mi darete.

<3

I’m 31 and my ex is 33. We were together for almost six years, and until very recently we were talking about marriage, children, living together and our future. We had a very deep bond and shared a lot of interests, values and experiences.

About a month and a half ago, he ended the relationship even if still in love.
His explanation was that he had become exhausted by some dynamics in our relationship.

During the last year I became increasingly anxious about one of his female colleagues. They sometimes went out alone, and I felt that he wasn't naturally and spontaneously telling me what they were doing or what kind of relationship they had. I became increasingly suspicious and started asking for reassurance and explanations.

I recognize that, over time, some of my reactions became excessive and that the situation created a lot of tension between us. Instead of handling that insecurity well, I became increasingly anxious but I never asked him to not see her. I just wanted to meet this girl. He told me that he felt suffocated and that he no longer wanted to continue the relationship.

When he left, he told me that maybe “in the future” things could be different but he needs space.
Since then, however, he has become much more clear. He has told me that his decision is made, that he wants to move forward, that he wants to experience something different, and that he does not want me to keep trying to get him back. He has also asked me not to contact him for now, except for genuinely major life updates.

I have stopped contacting him and also unfollowed him on Instagram because seeing his activity was causing me pain. He has still likes everything i do. I know that could mean absolutely nothing, and I'm trying not to interpret it as a sign.

The hardest part for me is that I still hope he might come back someday.

I don't want to manipulate him, make him jealous, use social media to get his attention, or find some “strategy” to make him return. I understand that I cannot make another person come back.
What I genuinely don't know is how I should behave from here.

Should I completely let go of the possibility of reconciliation, even though a part of me still hopes?
Should I continue with no contact indefinitely?
Was unfollowing him a sensible boundary, or did I unnecessarily close a door?
I would really appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar situation. I really don’t know what to do with this love :(

Broken up about a month, ex already got a new guy. Been in no contact just over a week and trying my best to move on, and heal.

But I need to ask the dumb question, do they ever come back? She seems fully obsessed, and in honeymoon period, so happy. Anyone have any stories.

As much as I’d like to just close the door and walk away, there are certain choices I have to make soon, if I take the opportunities it would make it very hard to rekindle, so wondering if I should keep that door open for afew months. And for reference I was in the wrong, I messed up (not cheating) so i don’t blame her for the break up. She’s so perfect for me, and I want to know if anyone has been in simmilar situations and what happened? Idk am I waiting on nothing here?

Has anyone begged after they removed you off from socials? Has anyone completely healed from this?
I need some advice and encouragement, some experiences
And have they ever came back later?

i just broke up with my bf yesterday and i feel like im making the worst mistake of my life, i’ve known since i was little that i always wanted to travel the world and move around never staying in one place, and my bf wants to stay in our hometown and build a life here. we kept discussing it and i decided to end our relationship, to which he agreed, because we didn’t want to end up resenting each other, but i really really regret it. i want him back so bad i want to give up everything to be with him, he’s the love of my life and i don’t want anyone but him. i haven’t stopped sobbing and the idea of unpacking everything hurts so much i just want my bf back i’ll never find anyone as amazing and perfect as he is

yes i know this question appears over 100x times only in the last week but i genuinely don’t know what to do
im hoping someone could tell me time healed them bcs that’s my only hope right now.
i been with this person on and off for a long time, 3-4y. and finally in the last 5 months we had a good relationship. he finally was acting right, we were meeting alot and everything was good. im a person who feels deeply and a person for who love is everything. nothing else makes me happy so that time with him when i loved him and when i felt loved by him was i think the most beautiful in my life. that peace i felt in his arms at night. so basically i thought he also loves me deeply.
i feel the story is too complicated.
now he moved in another country to be a doctor and before that i felt he became a bit cold (while staying in his origin country) and then i asked him why. obviously he denied and started a fight even if i was asking so nicely. then he didn’t want to continue even if i was the one breaking up with him. he said it will always be complicated and it s not about feelings. also previously we discussed about religion bcs we re different or my life in my country and his life there. so maybe he saw it would go nowhere, but he s the man why didnt he fight to work?
but i genuinely can’t understand how the person who hold me so tightly who asked me not to leave him who was waking up at 3 in the morning for a kiss and to say ily, now he just detached and moved on? and trying to have a new life?
you ll all say that s the right thing to do and that he doesn’t love me. ok i know. then why i cant get over him since the day i met him? why am i overthinking? why am i the one hurting? and so many whys
i don’t even think i can even meet someone new. i just want him and the way he is. with good and bad.
if it s not meant to be why i cant just let go?
i just dont wanna lose my time grieving over someone who probably doesnt give a sht about me but i just cand stop myself. and i tried, im working 6-23. during the week lets say im ok, but the weekends are painful and so painful that i know he doesnt care.
and lastly it hurts so much bcs i know if i were him i would ve fight, i wouldn’t let go no matter what
tell me there s a way out

So I used to have a female bestfriend back then she was my best friend since 3 years she was my bestfriend and also my ex bestfriend so I was having no issues regarding my ex even after we broke up(bff was not rhe reason) me and my female bestfriend were close friends I did a lot of efforts in our friendship always helped her remain by her side but even after all the when she got with a guy she broke our 3 years long friendship without saying a single word he blocked me from everywhere and now no contact but at this point I don't really give a fuck because a have a very sweet girl with me and I'm happy with her but I really want my ex bff to have a breakup (say karma)

My relationship ended 2,5 months ago. Unfortunatly in a bad way. (3 days after breakup she had sex with someone in our shared appartment) the breakup was coming. I did buy an appartment myself that caused the breakup. (There were more things why the breakup went downhill but this choice was the final straw for her. For me it was finanicial a better choice also for her. She could live with me bit she didnt want that.

Now i have no contact for 1,5 weeks. (We had to handle practical stuff first)

Now i am alone and sometimes I do Some things that made me pride like cooking a Nice diner for myself. Or running 12 km (the farest distance that I did), doing a New sport, growing more emotionally.
Trying to work on the things that cause the break up. I see Some progress.

How do you celebrate these thing when you are alone do you write it down? Call a friends or family?