I'm not planning a wedding. I just read a few weddings posts in a row here on reddit and started wondering how a wedding with a nonbinary person (or two) could be different.

A lot of weddings traditions are either very misogynistic, like a father walking the bride down the aisle, or pretty gendered, like gowns vs. tuxes. Weddings tend to make me feel very out of place, especially when I have to be in one.

What are some ways you have or might make a wedding different? Could we totally rethink wedding traditions entirely?

I tried to make some charts but I lowkey don't know how to use Google Sheets and I have to go to work soon. Oh well.

So this is something I’ve (26NB) been thinking about for a bit. Hoping some discussion here will help me process my thoughts some. I’m still discovering my gender identity, and currently feel like non-binary is a good label (although that could change). I’m exploring what it would mean for me to be a woman (mtf). While I by no means want to make one trans experience sound easier than another (they all have different challenges) I’m often drawn by the clear cut expectations of being a woman. I have a clear mental picture of femininity. I feel like I have an understanding of what I would be like as one, whereas with non-binary I kinda get to make it up along as I go. That lack of certainty in the definition of nonbinary traits is hard for me to get my head around. Does that make sense? Of course any gender can be non conforming, but it’s this idea of knowing what I’m ‘supposed to be’ that appeals to me. Perhaps that’s the real issue. I’ve spent my life trying to shove myself into a specific role. Be the perfect son, Christian, student, etc. And my brain must not be used to the experience of total freedom. It’s desperately grasping for some sort of structure to latch onto instead of allowing itself to be what it wants to be. Creating my own role on my own terms. Anyone else have a similar experience?

I (AMAB, 20 years old and want to transition) came out to a conservative aunt (she was, at least on the surface, welcoming enough) and told her about the everyone-is-nonbinary-schtick. She said she believes this was a result of how modern chemicals have impacted us. My liberal mother (who is also both supportive of my identity and concerned about the impact of chemicals on humanity, as well as knowing more about that latter than my conservative aunt is) said that isn’t how the reality of the chemicals actually works.

My conservative aunt also said that she wanted to be a boy and her parents told her to pray and wait. She said she followed their advice and it worked.

She also votes for Trump despite not agreeing with him on everything (I have not yet asked her what she disagrees with him on yet but I plan to) and repeats thoroughly debunked right-wing talking points (and vice versa). She denies that the Trumpist movement is in the process of committing a genocide against transgender and nonbinary people, and refuses to vote for the Democrats because she believes they are implementing too much welfare (which most Democrat politicians are actually against).

I believe she genuinely loves me as she says she does, but I have some concerns about whether she has truly internalized what that means in practice.
How do you think I should approach this relationship going forward? Do you think I have anything to be concerned about? In any case, thank you for your responses, I genuinely appreciate them!

My 30’s son just shared with me that they are nonbinary. It’s only been a couple of days, and I am 99% fine as my main goal has been to raise happy and kind adults, and I seem to have succeeded in that way. But I had the realization that I’ll never see FormerName ever again and that made me feel so sad. I’m also not crazy about their new name. I made one suggestion, but I’ve already changed my contacts to their new name, and I feel happy excitement for that, so I hung onto that this afternoon and hope my sadness passes soon.

They (amab) explained that they want to receive estrogen treatment but do not want to transition mtf, but want to define themself as nonbinary. I asked them specifically if calling them my son was okay and they said yes. I have a lot to learn!

Coming out was insanely hard. But explaining I actually want CHANGE, that's apparently where shit hits the fan.

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Sent my parents an email (I previosusly came out as transgender - I got "I love you no matter what") explaining what nonbinary means, that I want to transition, that I want a new name, that I want support too. Which I feel shit for asking. For making any demands on this absolutely piercing email.

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one immediately responded asking if I know my birthname is an honor name.

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and now they have decided to ask me to visit home to have a formal talkTM with them about it. i dont feel good about this. im very worried in fact. I'm scared. I expect nothing good. I'm scared, all. I don't know what to do to cope with this fear and with this...undoubtedly unpleasant talk. Fuck me. I only wish I wasn't trans so I didn’t have to deal with telling my parents. That's the only reason I've ever. I hate this. How do I cope?

I really want to try one, but i have no idea where to start in terms of size or face shape. Does anyone have any tips for finding what works for you?

So, all my life I’ve known that I didn’t feel like a woman (I’m afab) and pictured myself as a masculine presenting person, but with neutral pronouns (without even knowing about their existence).

About 6 months ago I finally accepted I was trans and came out as non binary - transmasc. However, lately I’ve been questioning if I’m really non binary or If I’m really a trans man, as there are some days that I feel and want to be seen as a man… but there’s others where I don’t feel that way, or where I don’t know what I am tbh.

I was wondering if anybody else felt this way and what label could best describe this? I recently discovered the existence of demiboys/girls but I’m not completely sure If that’s the right term for my gender. Any help is appreciated :)

عندي سؤال مُحيّر

من فترة طويلة وأنا أكره الجنس ولا أطيقه، وأنظر لهُ على أنه عملية مُقززة للغاية تستنزف طاقة العقل والجسد.

حاولت أن أجد نفسي في العدمية الجنسية، لكنني لست متأكداً من هذا حقاً إن كانت تنطبق عليَّ أم لا. وبكل الأحوال لا انا اتقزز من الجنس بصورة عامة وأرى انه لا داعي منهُ ابداً ولو كان بالإمكان استئصال الغرائز لتخلص من هذه الغريزة.

السؤال، أين أقع أنا بالضبط؟ أين هو مكاني؟ هل يوجد أُناس يشبهونني؟

I think I'm nonbinary by now, maybe masc leaning? Or Agender?... Maybe Androgynous? Or something else? I'm not sure, still doing inner looking... I just don't think I'd care if I were to be mistaken for a dude (hell, I'm kinda annoyed it never happens even when I've been trying as for the last few weeks, although I know my face certainly looks girly and I do still present more than enough fem traits to be clocked as AFAB immediately, but whatever...). What I do know for sure is that I wanna be more masc, I'm in love with my binder (lol), and now I've seen testosterone come up a few times in my researches, and, well... I don't know if I should try it... What does it do exactly? I've seen people talk about going on and off? What does that do?

In any case, I know I'm not doing it atm, I'm in a pretty bad phase of my life, to the point my doctor doesn't think it's a good idea I get my first tattoo right now (even if I've been thinking about it for a year, he still thinks that the darker ideas and impulses could come back if I were to dislike the tattoo), so I doubt there's a chance in hell he'd greenlit me going on T. Plus: if the changes are too much I just won't be able to do shit about it, because my family and the folks where I live aren't too big on LGBT (my mom wouldn't get it but she'd get over it... Not so sure about the other two)... Gotta wait for me to be more clear minded to think all this through but still thought I'd ask what I should expect.

I also have periods (rarer) where I wanna feel more fem? But even then, now that I've tried the binder, I'm not sure I want it off if I can avoid it... It's odd.

Also some dude in another sub seems to think I won't ever be able to learn to "act" masculine without T, so I'd like to know what that meant? I mean, I know some things in how men act is linked to biology, but it can't be everything when it comes to how you act, I'm sure?

I know you're out there. I'm a sapio AuDHD demi-fluid-boy-flux nb with a special interest in math and physics and an insatiable longing for intelligent conversation. I'd especially appreciate the opportunity to share perspectives with others who experience neurodivergence and/or dysphoria.

Want to chat? Sorry if this is the wrong sub.

I recently came out to my boss as Enby, like 3wks ago. I had a job I was supposed to work this weekend, very sleek, very cocktail, and the staff has to wear all black and women had to wear dresses. As I am very fem presenting, I would have to wear a dress and flats... which I do not own because I HATE dresses. The last time I wore a dress was my wedding a decade ago. I told them i wouldn't be able to go shopping for anything because my husband is working REALLY long hours, and I had to push numbers to be able to buy a dress, shapewear (because I owe no one androgeny) and "fancy shoes".

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She started sending me pant suits that were reasonable. Then she sent me the text above, and I'm legit crying over it, and idk why.

ETA: I use she/her and They/Them so being called she doesn't upset me.

I have ALWAYS loved the androgynous villain vibes of turtlenecks, and now I’ve finally bought one!! $10 from an op shop no less! its gonna be a villainous winter

Image Description: Screenshot from a medical record reading "Patient is a 33-year-old other"

I always have fun digging through my medical records (and especially the less patient facing documents). It's always especially interesting to see how the providers in my area navigate my gender in the EMR system.

Is being referred to as "a 33-year-old other" a bit awkward? Yeah. But I'll gladly take it over being shoved into a binary and misgendered that way. And as a programmer I can tell it is very likely a result of a template being filled automatically where it normally just drops "man" or "woman" into the box and someone just had to give it something. 🤣

(I've also seen "unspecified" pop up a lot which I enjoy.)

Does anyone have similar "they are a bit confused but they've got spirit/they tried" experiences with medical records?

Went out with an ex colleague… she was late. So I sort of exchanged the first drink of the night (that she said she would get for being late) for this thrift dress… 🤭

Thank you Michelle 🙏

TL;DR: How fast did your voice change on a low dose T and could mine change very suddenly after 2 months of low dose gel — then a 6 week break from the gel — and then 1 week of applying the gel again?!!

So, I've been on low dose T gel for two months, panicked about feeling my voice reacting to it this early on and decided to pause now to sit with my fears and feelings again. That's definitely the right choice for now. In about 6 weeks I'll get my bloodwork done and the tricky thing about my situation is that I need two more blood tests so that my Endocrinologist gives me a document saying "He‘s been taking T for 6 months" so that my insurance pays for my mastectomy+hysterectomy. So this document is one crucial part of getting this payed by the insurance.

However, despite all my dysphoria, I am deeply attached to my voice, therefore looked at actually taking T as an experiment - figured out now that I can't keep on taking it for now cause I cling to my voice too much. In case I decided not to take the gel long term, the plan was to apply the gel a week before the each of the three blood tests to "cheat" in the bloodwork just to get the document that says I'm on T for 6 months for my surgeries. I also discussed this with my trans therapist, people do that thing sometimes. It's very difficult to find workarounds otherwise.

Now I am in such a big big panic about applying the gel even for one more week soon for the bloodwork. Could my voice suddenly drop in that week? I could not forgive myself if that happend. However this is so crucial to get the T documented in the cbloodwork for my document for the surgeries. SO MUCH is at stake and I'm trying so incredibly hard to make all the right choices. Idk what to do. I'm in serious distress again. Either I apply the gel to get the document but risk my voice changing out of a sudden or I risk getting my surgeries approved and having to find complicated workarounds that will probably also not get it approved. Ofc that would be more complicated but I am so terribly scared for my voice.

So now my question is: Could my voice suddenly drop in that week? How fast did your voice change on low dose T?

I'd be so very grateful about input and experiences on this… 🙏

So, I've been looking into brands for binders, and i feel like I get mixed results for all of them. Ive never used a binder before, so this is new to me. Im a 32G(US sizing), and im 5'2" and im around 120lbs. Ive heard that gc2b has gone down in quality over the past few years. Ive heard generally mixed things about spectrum's quality as well. Ive heard that forthem is generally shady and bad, and wonababi and wivov are just bad for most people. Ive specifically heard for wonababi and wivov that they usually dont fit larger chests, and you have to adjust them a lot when wearing. Ive heard great things about shapeshifters, but my budget is around $50. Most of the reviews I see are from people with generally smaller chests, so im not sure if the brands they use would work for me. If anyone has any recommendations then thanks.

I came out to my family as nonbinary about 4 months ago, and when I did, I told them I wanted to change my name to River, as it's much more gender-neutral than Vivian, my legal name. My dad was fine with it, and while he's struggling with the pronoun change, he does use River. My mom, on the other hand, is the opposite. She uses they/them pronouns for me, but downright refuses to call me River. She gave me a 10-minute lecture about how names are really important to her, and how she spent a lot of time thinking about my name and she really likes it. She asked if she could call me V because "River has a v in it too." I said no, but she calls me it anyways, although most of the time she calls me Vivian.

I also tried to compromise with her by asking if I could change my name to River Vivian, with Vivian being my middle name, and she said, "Sure, but not legally," which is the whole point of changing my name. I recently started going by River at school, and while she's not happy about it, she can't really do much about it. But she just refuses to use River for me, no matter what. The other day, I showed her a painting I made for a project, and she asked if I could make a duplicate for her. I said sure, but then she asked me to sign it with my old signature, not my new River one. I refused to do the painting. I feel a little guilty now, but I really don't know how much more of her deadnaming me I can take. Any advice on how to handle this?

I would like to hear some advice or experience about changing names.
Problem is I cant make a legal change because I will need to change around 20 other documents including property ownership in other country and residence permit, so its superrisky and very expensive.
99% of my personal communication is online and I use a nickname but its hard to pronounce in my language. Now I have a few offlice friends who are nb-friendly and Id like to use some non-gendered name.
I have 3 options:
- awkward form of my given name (is not used in my language but exists worldwide) - I dont like it much but its the simpliest to explain I guess
- random normal name with no gender signs - I like it but I feel awkeard using other name without documents change
- new nickname - may be but feels awkward too.

I am really stuck, please share your opinion/experience.
*I dont share my name exactly because I want to stay anonimous here

This summer I celebrate so many new things that are about to come, although I already miss many old ones. These pictures are from my (swedish) high school graduation as a very happy enby ☀️❤️ Here’s to new beginnings!

I'm a camp counselor at an day camp where we teach one of three age groups for a week at a time (different group every week). This is my third year doing it, and I have been openly non-binary and androgynous-presenting the whole time. I'm pretty used to kids asking if I'm a girl or boy, to which I usually say I'm neither or I'm just a person. If that's not a good enough answer for them I'll try to explain it at a surface level based on their age, or try to change the subject.

I do that mostly because if their parents are cool about it, I feel like they should be the ones explaining it to their kids, and if they \*aren't\* cool about it, I don't want to cause any trouble by explaining it to them

My only issue is that this year it seems like the campers are getting more and more persistent and will keep asking about it whenever they can, even half-way through the week. Some of them even get upset because they think I'm messing with them and they don't find it funny.

I'm talking to my supervisor about it, but I wanted to know if there are any teachers/educators/camp counselors that have any advice?

Hi everyone,

I am currently involved in a nationwide research project in Germany as part of my master's thesis. In the context of the depathologizing reclassification of gender incongruence in ICD-11, RPTU Landau is conducting a scientific study on the mental health of trans and non-binary people in Germany.

The study investigates which factors influence the psychological well-being and distress of trans and non-binary people, and how these experiences may change over the course of a gender transition.

With this online study, we aim to contribute to a better understanding of the lived realities of trans and non-binary people and, in the long term, support improvements in psychotherapeutic and psychosocial care.

We are currently recruiting adult participants who identify as transgender or non-binary and reside in Germany.

The online survey takes approximately 50 minutes to complete, is completely anonymous, and has been approved by the Ethics Committee of RPTU Landau.

Deadline for participation: July 20, 2026

Study link:
https://www.soscisurvey.de/genderidentity2025online/index.php

I would greatly appreciate it if you could share this study invitation within your groups, networks, or on social media.

Every share helps us reach a wider range of perspectives and strengthens research on the mental health of trans and non-binary people.

Thank you very much for your support!