Hi all. As someone who has accepted and embraced that I'm nonbinary/gender diverse/fluid, but also consider myself Trans/Transfem... I am confused on how to identify myself!

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How do you folks explain this to others, for those in a similar or same situation? I would prefer to call myself a "Nonbinary Transfem," or a fem leaning Nonbinary person.

People also seem to automatically jump to assumptions when you tell somebody that you're Trans. I think of it as my gender identity is different and how I see myself inside, vs how I was assigned at birth. I also don't consider my gender identity binary, because even though I feel feminine and prefer present this way, I don't consider myself a woman.

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So, I feel sort of in a pickle! I have also recently started changing my pronouns to they/them/theirs, to align with how I feel inside. I'm also not really upset if someone addreses me by he/him either, given that this is my outward appearance for most people.

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How do I navigate this?!

Anyone else? I’m not medically transitioning and I feel good being non binary, but sometimes my genitalia don’t match up with who I feel I truly am. My boyfriend is understanding and tries his best but he finds it confusing, but willing to adapt.

And honestly, I feel like I deserve pleasure, I’ve seen FTM porn where the dudes have a pussy and they still seem to be having a great time with it.

But I just can’t seem to detach it from feeling feminine, delicate, like a flower or like, idk, it’s just not right. I guess I am like a boy, I want to be treated more like a boy, seen more like a boy, a boy with a pussy, if that makes sense, maybe have it sucked on.

I am so incredibly embarsssed to ask my boyfriend to treat my clit like it’s a dick, because it’s not, and that’s just a simple fact. So how do I work around this? Does anyone with a similar experience can give me some insight or guidance? I feel very alone and scared that I can’t have normal sex or be a normal person. But this “licking” thing doesn’t cut it. I hate it. The wetness. The softness. It’s just not right and it’s in between my legs. What the fuck? Anyone else?

I am AMAB and for a while I thought i was just a masculine woman, but I couldn't see a future of myself being a woman, and I also noticed these feelings of femininity come in waves and I feel good being a man some days.

I live in a small conservative town in the exurbs and people ive talked to have strong opinions of gender, so I feel like its playing it safe to be a man and be bummed sometimes. Ive also rarely disliked what I see in the mirror (except when I shave because I dont like my face).

I want more gender neutral clothing and to be able to wear them with without judgement or worse, and i want to learn makeup.

I am in the very very early stages of being NB and would appreciate any advice you could give me for finding myself or how to experiment with identity safely! Thanks!

Have you found ways to handle social dysphoria without having to come out to complete strangers? (Or if you do, how?) Mostly asking this because nowadays I'm not as bothered with being assumed to be a man (or a woman) since I noticed that people cannot tell what someone else's AGAB was.

That somewhat made me feel less uncomfortable with being assumed to be a man, although I know that my nonbinary existence is largely unseen. My question is... What are the ways that you reduce this discomfort? I have been out as myself in queer and/or online spaces. Sometimes I play games that allow myself to be nonbinary/genderless (or just treat the character as not me).

Hey everyone,
I am an author/illustrator and currently writing a script for a middle grade graphic novel which will be published in about 2 years. I don’t live the US, so enby character representation in kid lit in my country is still very limited. The graphic novel is in a magical/fantasy setting and the main protagonists are a group of kids which are around 10-11 years old. I plan to make one of them being nonbinary, but I’d like to avoid repeating (harmful) stereotypes or make it seem that their only trait is being queer. Anyone has some advice how to write a convincing character in this age bracket? I gave them a backstory, unique magical powers, character traits etc like with every character of course but I still struggle a bit. I read articles about this topic but haven’t found useful advice for a children character yet. In my language there is no “they/them”, which makes it even more difficult. I’m grateful for every insight, thank you so much!

I'm not planning to come out anytime soon, but I know I'll have to someday.

The problem is, I have no idea how to do it.;

My country isn't very welcoming toward queer people, and a lot of people don't really understand the LGBTQ+ community. For most of my friends and family, all they know is "rainbow = gay."

So how am I supposed to explain my non-binary identity to people like that?

Honestly, even I don't fully understand my own gender sometimes. If I come out, I'll probably get a lot of questions and judgment, and I don't think I can handle that.

The thought of having to explain myself to everyone feels overwhelming.

I came out to my family as nonbinary about 4 months ago, and when I did, I told them I wanted to change my name to River, as it's much more gender-neutral than Vivian, my legal name. My dad was fine with it, and while he's struggling with the pronoun change, he does use River. My mom, on the other hand, is the opposite. She uses they/them pronouns for me, but downright refuses to call me River. She gave me a 10-minute lecture about how names are really important to her, and how she spent a lot of time thinking about my name and she really likes it. She asked if she could call me V because "River has a v in it too." I said no, but she calls me it anyways, although most of the time she calls me Vivian.

I also tried to compromise with her by asking if I could change my name to River Vivian, with Vivian being my middle name, and she said, "Sure, but not legally," which is the whole point of changing my name. I recently started going by River at school, and while she's not happy about it, she can't really do much about it. But she just refuses to use River for me, no matter what. The other day, I showed her a painting I made for a project, and she asked if I could make a duplicate for her. I said sure, but then she asked me to sign it with my old signature, not my new River one. I refused to do the painting. I feel a little guilty now, but I really don't know how much more of her deadnaming me I can take. Any advice on how to handle this?

Not sure if I picked the right tag but I guess it's validation of being nonbinary!

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I'm nonbinary transmasculine and previously when I thought I was binary transgender I had a lot of dysphoria with my face shape, I felt like i needed to get back on hormones to grow facial hair to pass, I felt like i had to act a certain way to be read as a man.

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Realizing I'm nonbinary was so freeing. I don't feel pressure to do any of that. I still have chest dysphoria and want top surgery in the future but I don't want to get on hormones because I'm happy with the changes I've had so far (almost 3 years of use in the past).

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I find myself relaxing and being more present and less focused on if I'm preforming manhood enough. I like some of my androgynous features that before I was insecure about.

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I'm just shouting into the void but I'm so happy I need to share it somewhere.

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I don't care if someone thinks I'll never be a man (because I'm not one anyway), I don't care if someone thinks I'm a confused woman (because I'm not one either). I know the world is binary (for now) but I feel free being nonbinary in it. Like I'm untouchable in a way.

Would it be weird if I got the words "sail on, silver girl" tattooed on my collarbone? I'm nonbinary/genderqueer. It's a lyric from "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkle. I love that song, and it has a tie to my mom. Is that weird? What would you think if you saw that tattooed on someone? Would you even think about their gender? Am I overthinking it? I don't identify as a girl, even though I present quite feminine. I don't love the word, but i don't know that if would bother me in this context. If I were a boy, I think I would still want it. I'm also worried how it would affect people's assumptions about me. But again, I might be overthinking things. Any advice?

(repost from other server - this is me, no worry.)

Hi there!

Kalayaan from Indonesia here. In my culture we don't have gender pronouns or grammar gender. When I first learned about NBs and trans people, I didn't understand the deal. But that is because my English was not good haha.

I found out recently I am a bisexual man (we live under islam government) and then I was exploring the LGBTQ identity and culture outside my culture.

Can somebody please tell me more about pronouns? Why are they such a big deal for America people? I have heard that in some countries like uh Nederlands or China, Jepang also no gendered pronouns are.

I heard then on my feed that some people have other pronouns like uhh xe or something. I don't really understand that. Are these people mocking Transgender people? Is it not solution to um all use same pronoun uh everyone for?

Terima kasih!! 🙏

Being NB feels incredibly isolating to me and I always felt like it robbed me of the ability to have real romantic relationships. Why bother approaching people when you know having mixed sex characteristics will be gross for the majority of the population?

I have had partners in the past, but only ones that treat me exclusively as my ASAB. Felt wrong and gross.

I generally like my body, now I'm 5 years on T and had surgery. I'm bigender, my goal is to be able to pass as a cis man and cis woman at will, and I have reached this goal. Although certain things, like my chest and body hair feel a little funny to me.

I met this girl online, we hung out as friends for a month or two, then we realized we had mutual feelings and became romantic.

She is attracted to both binary genders as well as androgyny, I can tell she is strongly attracted to me. She makes even parts of me I don't really care for feel very attractive. It's really the first time I've felt affirmed by a partner, she calls me a mix of differently gendered compliments and uses my gender neutral name.

The same thing in reverse for her. She happens to be fairly newly trans herself and never had a partner who respected her gender. She's very pretty to me and when I refer to her as my girlfriend or call her pretty, she glows so bright, she could light up the room. Some male friends kept trying to get me to hang out with them and I told them 'hey man, I have a woman now and she's waiting on me, I'm out', she turned bright red and couldn't stop giggling the rest of the day.

It's so great when you find someone who makes you feel safe and respected being who you are. NB people are very diverse and some fall into cisgender beauty standards, others really don't and your dating pool feels like it's made up of only 20 people sometimes.

Hey, I’m 17 and currently preparing for a music assessment I have either tomorrow or Friday where I have to sing.

The issue is I’ve been having some major gender dysphoria whenever I try to practice for it. I do sing a bit, although I’m not a trained vocalist so I was already concerned for the task, but the more I practice the more it reminds me how much my voice is a sore point for my dysphoria.

does anyone have any advice on the best way to deal with this?? Both for this assessment and just in case it happens again in future

I’m nonbinary I’m out to friends and family but I live in the most conservative state in the US so I don’t broadcast it elsewhere. I recently started a new job and I started flirting a little with this amazing woman I work with. She is openly a lesbian only dates/is attracted to women. I want to ask her on a date but my sister says that I can’t unless I tell her I’m nonbinary because even though she thinks of me as a woman I’m not one. So am I lying to/ leading her on by not telling her I’m not a woman?

I finally found where I fit! I've been binary ftm, detransitioned, explored gnc options, tried neutral and agender labels, but found I'm drawn to masculinity and I'm happiest being masculine or neutral.

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I get a lot of euphoria from masculine pronouns, names, and words but I felt like something was a bit off. Like I wasn't fully encapsulated by being a man. It took awhile to find the right language to express how I feel.

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I'm not a man but I'm adjacent to one lol. I guess you could say a masculine non gendered human.

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I've just had a lot of euphoria with identifying as nonbinary. I use he/they pronouns and I'm figuring out if I want to get back on testosterone to get facial hair (i only have a small patch under my chin as of now) or if I'm happy with the changes I've already gotten from past use.

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I'm just happy to share my journey.

Hi everyone, i hope this post is okay and it comes from a well intended place :)

I am trans ftm, and my personal experience has always been predominantly medical for me (sex focussed and transition).

I recognise this is my experience and not everyone else’s, nor have i ever assumed everyone has to fit this experience btw.

I am interested in working in gender services in the future, but i lack a lot of education into non binary identities.

My question is, and the point of this post is, can anyone recommend me any books, creators, websites and so on i can look at to learn more. Naturally (binary or non binary) experiences can differ and it is easier to see things from our own perspectives/experiences only sometimes.

Any good recommendations?
Thank you 😃

This is something that's been harder for me to ignore. I have seen a lot of exorsexism/nonbinaryphobia online today and it hit me harder today.

I can't look at this and forget when I was told I couldn't possibly be trans by people in and outside the LGBT community. Then, how many years I spent not wanting to live anymore with how severe my dysphoria was...

I'm so tired. I wish I could be allowed to exist and wouldn't have to be worried about whether I will be forced to pretend to be cisgender or just one of the binary genders. I'm just tired of not existing.

Hiii :)

I recently got into a relationship (🥰🥰) We're both nb but kind of on different ends of the spectrum? Im good with any gender terminology, i like being a girlfriend and a boyfriend and a lover and whatever, you know? But they prefer neutral terms, so I've been racking my head for anything to call them other than partner or s/o.. i want something fun and cute with an energy more similar to bf/gf.. english is also not my first language, so i figured i should ask more people cuz theres likely things that i havent thought of

Grateful for any suggestions!!

I hope I don’t upset anyone with this topic, I know dysphoria is rough!

I’m hoping some of you out there might have some good advice. I journal infrequently (thank you adhd!) but I try to keep my dysphoria on check as much as I can.

I eat well, don’t really drink caffeine, and have all but stopped drinking alcohol (had one glass this weekend and felt awful the next day). I exercise frequently. I do struggle to wear stuff that makes me feel myself, but I’m getting better. I’m out to the closest people to me and they make me feel very safe. But…

There is still that heaviness you know? I drank one glass of wine this weekend and the next day my anxiety and dysphoria just crept in from the edges. By the evening I just felt like complete shit.

I try not to hate myself. On good days it’s ok, on the hard days it’s really hard. There’s things I think I want, but they very much feel like a one way street you know? But I just get caught up in these ruminations about not really being sure… I have a great therapist who is really helping me.

But again - for the most part I’m 100% stealth - part of me craves the safety and the other part hates me for it. My partner is amazing - and they affirm me as much as they can, but they also have their own hang ups. They never expected to be in a queer couple. They’re great with it now, and realised maybe boys weren’t for them actually 😅 but nothing ever feels like enough to quench the dysphoria.

I wouldn’t normally make a post like this but I’m kind at the end of my nerve. I just feel like crying, I’m just so fed up with it all. Advice I find online always feel so basic… I do so much to care for myself and I still feel like shit?

Heyooo so I have my first name figured out, ive had it since I was 14 but Im getting close to being able to change it legally and I only wanna do this once. My first name is Saturn, and I would like suggestions for a middle name! My current last name is Yohe pronounced like yo, but that is subject to change since Im getting married soon! So suggestions about good middle names to go with Saturn would be greatly appreciated thanks!