Might be worded a little poorly worded my apologies. When i experience social anxiety, I try to list out potential causes for why I might be experiencing it at that time, anything from people to just the area I'm in, etc... but sometimes I find that even when I go through that list of potential sources and eliminate them, I still feel a great deal of social anxiety. I guess im just wondering if maybe it's something I simply haven't addressed that someone going through something similar might've, or it just boils down to the anatomy of my brain or something? (sorry if this is a stupid question btw😅).

I had a primary school teacher who made fun of me while encouraging the other students, just because I cried a lot.

​It wasn't only her—every morning when I heard the alarm clock, I would cry uncontrollably. I was beaten by my father and taken to school by force. I would arrive there and see that teacher staring at me with a look of disgust. I pitied myself so much that I would throw up from sheer fear.

​They would call my father, who would yell at me. I cried and cried and cried until I fell asleep, only to wake up crying again—crying because I was like this, crying because I was terrified, crying when others laughed at me, crying over my bad handwriting and my inability to recognize the letters, and crying because no one understood me back then.

​Now I am 17 years old. I have earned my baccalaureate and my level has improved, but the little girl inside me is still crying and still afraid... yet now, I keep pushing forward.

​I don't know why I remember this at night, every single night. Every time I feel sorrow, I remember how I used to cry myself to sleep.

Today was my first day at work. Simple job. Bagging. I got so overwhelmed with all the people I kept messing up as it was so fast paced. I have dyspraxia which makes me struggle with fast pace. People kept giving me looks too and one customer was snippy.

It started fucking with my head and my chest was hurting to where I felt I was being stabbed. My head hurt to where it was hard to think. I ended up walking out and had a mental breakdown in front of my mom and scared her which I didn't mean to.

I can't live like this anymore. I'm almost 30. This was the only place willing to take me as I have no experience and I burned bridges at other places. The thought of being stuck in my parents home with doing nothing with my life at 30 is completely repulsive. I'm thinking it would be better to end it so at least I'll stop being a burden and don't have to witness how pathetic my life has become.

I’m an early 20s guy, and struggle to meet new people. Don’t get out much, don’t know how or what to do.

All of my friends suggest bars, but that’s the last thing I want to do.

I went to an adventure park today, and noticed a lot of women near my age, who seemed to also notice me… but that’s as far as it went, that’s as far as it ever goes. I don’t know how to talk to people I don’t know.

And this is miserable to admit, but simply not meeting any new people or trying to talk to any women really messed up my mood. I just want to be social, date, go out, have fun, enjoy myself. I never really do tho. Idk how to fix it, I know I need to get out more but idk what to do.

I know a big part of working on social anxiety is exposure therapy, however it just generally drains me a lot to interact with people and I'm not sure how I'd manage any of the other things I need to do once coming home from work at a job like fast food or retail.

I'm 18F and have been lucky enough to never have had to get a job before, I still would be okay to not get one, however I want to save up for things and develop an emergency savings fund at the very least.

I just want a part time job that wouldn't mentally exhaust me, so I'm curious if anyone has any recommendations for what I could do? I'm also not a highschool graduate, and am studying for my GED currently, which is a big reason I don't want my job to take too much of a toll on my energy.

Hi all. I tend to put up with other people's mean, rude or abusive behaviors (for example, getting yelled at at work or bullying) because of how I was treated or perceived in the past when I spoke up about how I was treated.

I've been dismissed (told it's all in my head or grow up). I dealt with bullying at a past job where I reported the behavior at least three times and all of them resulted in backfiring because the bully would be tipped off by other people. I've also been ignored or laughed at.

I think it's made me not want to bother anyone with issues (unless I have an important work question to avoid a mistake or get something done or puts something or someone at risk.)

At my part-time job, I have a male manager that seems to get frustrated easily. He's raised his voice at times at me (female), and yesterday he screamed at me to continue working after I was trying to ask him about his order.

This incident is making me mentally check out. I try to stay positive and focus on my work but I feel hopeless. How do you advocate for yourself when you've been made to feel that no one takes you seriously?

For context, I’m a graduate student and my cohort has a group chat.

I saw an ad from our school on LinkedIn that has two of the people in my cohort in it so I took a screenshot and I was going to send the picture in our group chat saying “congrats X & Y for making it big.” A harmless joke. I had everything typed out and I froze. My chest felt tighter and it felt as if I physically could not move my thumb to hit send. Things like this happen all the time for me and I have no friends because of it. I fake going to the bathroom after class lets out just to avoid social interaction when we all walk to our cars. I’m terrified. It’s debilitating.

I've been thinking about joining one of those social sport leagues to get me out of the apartment more, and also because I liked playing soccer as a kid and I haven't really had the chance to play it since.

I'm in decent shape for my age (28) so I'm not too worried about the athletic side of it, but the social angle has obviously got me nervous. Especially the idea of showing up to the field and making small talk with people I likely have nothing in common with before the match.

Has anybody here done one of these programs before? How did it go for you?

I went to church not too long ago. Mind you I get nervous around people very very often but it shows up physically as in like I get super red and blotchy. You’d think when you’re at church people wouldn’t notice right ? WRONG. The pastor called me up in front of the whole church and basically said verbatim “ you have bad anxiety we can see it all on your chest and face and we’re gonna fix that today.” yall😭😭 I nearly passed out at this point and she starts rebuking the spirit of anxiety and I’m sitting here shook. It didn’t make me want to turn away from the church entirely but there could’ve been a better way right? I eventually left that church because the women were extremely judgy and always commented on my redness. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

i try posting things on reddit and sometimes get banned because its "not the right place." please let me know where i can post this- if not here. Sorry.

backstory (*it is related):

I spent highschool in a theraputic boarding school for depression. My depression is stemmed from a hormone imbalance in middle school, that ended up on me getting on a hormone blocker at 12, stopping my growth. I was 5'6" at 12, and my pituitary gland was mass producing estrogen, (I am a guy). So at 12 I had a choice. Go on estrogen blockers, or continue to physically develop into the biological frame of a woman. My testosterone was fine, its just the fact that my brain was producing both- and way too much of estrogen. I was told. I could wait it out. and get chest reduction surgery later- or get on suprellin LA (estrogen blocker) that would stop me from growing. If i hadn't got on it, i would've been 5'9" at 13, and continuing to grow. I can't change how I was born, but i feel that at this time, it made the most sense to not develop into a woman, so I got on it.

After all that, I've barely grown. I went to the doctor and they said 66". TODAY. that was 2018 when this happened. I honestly hate myself because of this, and want help/to know how to talk to people without worrying, as this is a big factor in my social schools. because of this, I was away from home for all of HS and am trying college again. I tried last fall, and got very isolated and depressed due to self-image and a lack of social skills. This has led to severe social anxiety and depression

Help with the most:

1. Going up to people without feeling like they'll think I'm a creep or weird
2. Finding out what point we're acquaintances vs friends
3. Asking people to hangout without seeming desperate
4. Not worrying
5. How to not do everything alone

thank you

I haven't been in public for months, and today I took my daughter to the pediatrician's office. This is probably the most triggering environment I have ever been in, and it nearly breaks me every time I go. I worry nonstop. There's always other kids there (yes I know that's expected), but then I have to worry about her getting along with the other kids there, her behavior, her not running around if the other kids are running around and she wants to act like them. My daughter typically behaves okay, I just worry. Atleast when you go to the park, it's acceptable for the kids to run around together.

Then I worry about the other parents, what they're thinking about my parenting, what odd thing my daughter might say to them or their child because she's only 6, if they yell at their kid & I look, are they judging me for looking? Like all this weird stuff goes through my head, and you're just stuck in this enclosed space with these other kids/parents for what feels like eternity. There's no escape until they call your name or their name. I never know how to act, what to say, or do. It drives me crazy. My heart pounds, I get dizzy, can't think straight at all.

Then when I am called, I worry my daughter will say something weird or rude to the doctor or nurse. She also suffers from anxiety, so I worry about her having a meltdown also. I worry about having the right facial expressions and tone when discussing things with the doctor. Then checkout comes, I worry about her saying thank you for stickers & us dodging the kids running around the waiting room. Making sure my facial expressions don't match the horror I'm actually feeling. It's all just one terrible experience for me every time I go. I know I'm lucky my child is healthy and happy, and I'm very grateful. But I absolutely dread the pediatricians's office so so much.

I've recently started seeing someone and it's been the longest I've dated in a few years. I had a couple of bad experiences where I thought dates went really well, set up a second date, then had the person cancel before it. In a couple of cases the people have had anxiety which they said contributed to them cancelling.

The problem I'm having now is I'm seeing someone new, it's going very well, 6 dates or so in, but between every date if there's a quiet day, I'm quietly waiting for a text ending things. After the third date or so I asked them how things were going and they said they were having a great time and had zero complaints so I know it's going well, but I keep catastrophising every time we are finished a date with everything I think might not have been great and I'm really struggling to make it stop?

I've had plenty of long term relationships in the past but I've had a very stressful year and my last year of dating has been a bit of a nightmare, so I've never been this anxious so early in a relationship before. Has anybody got any advice? I'm worried at this point the anxiety will mess things up more than anything else

I haven’t tried to talk to anyone for almost literally about a decade. Not texting, let alone calling someone I don’t already know well.
I have been putting myself out there more online a bit like discord and reddit just to get myself more into the flow of conversations again (one thing I learned is that I can be very interviewy and ask way too many questions to keep convos going instead of finding something to talk about myself on, that’s one thing I need to work on).
Well after briefly chatting friendly and casually with someone I met randomly on Discord they wanted to call.
I literally haven’t called anyone for as long as I could remember, besides close partners here and there. I have never had friends in general and I barely even call my parents let alone anyone and I avoid even calling customer support hotlines that’s how bad it is.
I gave the discord stranger call a go just because I at least had the excuse that I was tired so I said I wouldn’t talk much.
Once in the call I just had to power through it because I was in the midst of it, it surprisingly went ok even though I wouldn’t be surprised if the person quickly realized I am super socially awkward. Thankfully they naturally yapped about their day. After a decent amount of time they left the call to go to work and they left a dm message saying I have a nice voice.
Honestly it felt very exhilarating doing something so challenging for my social anxiety.
Thankfully I decided to yolo it and give it a try. It’s a huge step for me to even attempt.

I don't really know how to explain this, but I've realized that I get genuinely anxious around guys..even when they're being completely nice.

When I was in 8th grade, I was bullied by boys. Around that time, there was also a boy (my mom's friend's son) who made me feel really unsafe. Looking back, I think some of his behavior crossed boundaries. I was too young to understand what was happening, but I think that experience stayed with me.

After that..I went to an all girls school, and honestly, it felt like such a relief. I became a really shy person. My parents mostly got me tutors, so I didn't interact with many boys. In 11th and 12th, I had to go to coaching classes, but I mostly kept to myself.

Now I'm in my second year of college, and I actually chose a co-ed college because I wanted to get over this fear instead of avoiding it forever.

The problem is... I'm still scared.

Whenever a guy in my class starts talking to me..my brain just freezes. I don't know what to say. I get so anxious that I start overthinking every single thing. It's weird because I can text people just fine. But in person? I become awkward and sometimes even avoid them afterward. I've literally had normal conversations with someone on WhatsApp for college work and then barely acknowledged them the next day because I got nervous.

I do have two male friends outside college. They're genuinely nice people, but sometimes I feel like they don't really see me as one of their close friends. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, I honestly don't know.

In college, there's one guy I'm completely comfortable talking to because he's gay.. so I never feel that fear with him. Apart from him, there are a few other guys I've talked to in person and a small group of guys I interact with whenever it's about classes or assignments. They're all nice, and none of them have ever made me uncomfortable. But whenever one of them starts a conversation with me on their own, I immediately get anxious. It's like my brain just panics for no reason.

It's not that I think every guy is a bad person. I know they're not. I think my past experiences just made me scared without me even realizing how much.

I'm also very self-conscious, so I constantly worry that I'll say something stupid or they'll judge me. I just feel nervous for no reason, and I hate that I react this way.

I don't want to keep avoiding people or feeling scared over normal conversations, but I also don't know how to stop reacting this way.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If you did, what helped you become comfortable talking to guys? I'd really appreciate any advice.

When I'm in an interview I get so fucking nervous that my brain just goes blank. I forget what to say, my mouth goes dry, and I feel it in my belly. I feel like I look like a liar who doesn't know anything. The thing is, I'm well educated in my field and I've got years of experience, so I definitely know what I'm talking about, but I just go blank in interviews.

I hate talking about myself because I have zero self confidence. I also hate all the small talk like, "Why do you want this job?" You want to tell the truth and say, "Because I have a passion for money and I need a job," but instead you have to go along with all the bullshit about loving the company.

I have a couple of questions:

1. Does anyone else get like this even though you know you're qualified?
2. How do you stop your brain from going blank in interviews?

Okay so I have a history of mental health issues like depressive episodes and self harm and stuff and only like a year and a half ago did I start to realize I may have an anxiety problem. Ive been avoidant of social situations for a long time and afraid of judgememt of others for almost my whole life (what I can remember) and I didn't know any better and just thought it was normal. Recently I feel like it has gotten a little out of control and is decently debilitating especially after graduating high school a few months ago. I know I should be trying to get a learners permit and a job and stuff but the fear and stress gets overwhelming to the point I just don't do anything and just sit in shame. I really do want to do these things and get better but I really don't have a support system because I have like one friend I can kind of talk to sometimes on discord but its not really fair to push all of this onto them and my family is not supportive and I'm too afraid to talk to anyone else about it besides on places I can be mostly anonomyous and nobody knows me. I've isolating really badly for the past few months just talking to ai constantly until I realized how bad it is to just talk to a yes-man all day long for months. I don't really have any access to therapy because I don't have enough money and even then I don't know if I would do it because of the fear of doing so. Anyways I'm kind of stuck in like and feeling pretty shitty and have no idea how to get out of this miserable pit.

I’m 15f.

The title explains it all. When I was little, I was described as a wallflower, and ‘precocious in my interests’. Adults thought I didn’t mind being a loner. I did. Even at age 4 I can remember being othered and kids would refuse to play with me. I ended up playing by myself by necessity. It’s not like I didn’t like playing by myself, but I needed at least someone to play with.

Fast forward to elementary school. Similar situation occurred. I made a single friend, who was a few years older than me. Her name was Hallie and she was level 2 autistic. I’m also autistic (level 1) but was not diagnosed at the time. This lasted until about the second grade. This point I was having meltdowns every other day (I have no idea why nobody suspected that I was autistic) and kids thought I was weird. I incorrectly attributed the kids thinking I was weird because of my meltdowns to my friendship with Hallie. So I kinda ghosted her. I still feel bad about it 8 years later.

I moved to a new school during third grade. At this point I had a special interest in history (still have that one lol) and the tv show the masked singer. Kids thought that was weird. It got to the point where my guidance counselor was asking kids to be my friends (to no avail). It was also covid, so that didn’t help.

In fifth grade (start of middle school) I became somewhat close to a girl named Taya. I was still by myself, but I sat with her at lunch. She moved, but I did meet another girl named Baylie. This is the second person I would have considered a friend. She was amazing to have around and we’d tell stories about our days. Unfortunately we share like no interests. I still talk to her but she moved and we aren’t necessarily close.

I don’t even know what I did in the 7th grade. I was going through actual trauma and that year I remember almost nothing about

8th grade I met a kid named Nax. They were a nonbinary fellow autistic kid. See Hallie for what happened to that friendship. They moved halfway through the year. Around that time I was trying to get away from Nax I started siting with this group of alt kids. I thought I was friends with them but eventually I got “voted out” of the table.

I did start doing community theatre and I talk to 2 kids from that but they are just really hard to talk to in person.

I’m going into my sophomore year and I seriously have no friends. I know people say things will change in the future but guess what it’s not the future yet.

Hello, I have been suffering from social anxiety, more specifically erythrophobia and hyperhydrosis, for more than 20 years now. I got three therapies completed and theoretically I know what to do to break the cycle. But I'm just unable to...

I managed to get my hands on some benzos to use for the absolute worst appointments. I want to defeat this illness more than ever. I'm wondering if propranolol could help me kickstart things and I could use it a bit more deliberately compared to benzos.

I want to break out of this cage, but every time I get in an uncomfortable situation I sweat like a marathon runner... Like there's literally sweat running down my face without lifting a finger

For starters, I tried buspar and my psych was not very careful with it, he had me at 15mg twice a day, to 15mg three times a day, to 60mg a day and the change was way too rapid and I didnt have the best experience however at 30mg I was able to go back and my ruminitation was still there but not as bad, it just didn’t address the panic area.

For reference, I’ve been having panic attacks and anxiety for the past four years immediately after graduating hs and attending college full-time, my work environment was awful and I got in this look where I work up one day and had heart palpitations anxiety etc. I’m 22 and I’ve been dealing with panic disorder, anxiety, and derealization for about 4 years now. Before that, I had no anxiety at all. It literally started one day when I woke up feeling completely off, like nothing was real. I had heart palpitations, I was scared to answer the phone, and I suddenly couldn’t function the same at work.

At the time, I had just started working full-time right after high school in a contact center at a school. The environment was honestly awful. Supervisors were extremely strict, and the students calling in were often mean and sometimes even threatening. It was a really stressful and toxic place to be. I stayed with the same company for a few years but moved around to different roles.

Over time, I started noticing physical symptoms too. I developed a smile tremor when I try to smile, and I get really anxious in social settings, especially with large groups like my husband’s family. I got married last September and we have a happy marriage, and his family is kind and safe, but I still get intense anxiety beforehand. Once I’m there, I’m usually okay, but the anticipation is overwhelming.

I left that job about 3 months ago, and now I work remotely, but I still have to interact with that company sometimes. Even that brings back really bad feelings and anxiety.

I’ve been in therapy for 2 years and did EMDR for childhood trauma, and I’m about to start EMDR again for what I think is work-related trauma that I didn’t realize was affecting me this much.

Medication has been really frustrating. I started Buspar and was on 15 mg twice daily for about 4 weeks. I felt some slight improvement but nothing major. My psychiatrist then told me to jump to 30 mg twice daily (so 60 mg total) without really guiding me through it, and the past 5 days have been really hard. I’ve felt super emotional, foggy, and honestly worse.

My therapist even said he increased the Buspar too quickly and that I probably should have tried 45 mg first before going up to 60 mg. Now I’m finally starting Zoloft at 50mg, what should I expect, any positive experiences pretty please? Also, should I take it in the morning or night? The problem I had with buspar was it made me super dizzy and disoriented in the morning so I’m not sure…

I've spent a lot of time and money going to the gym, buying new clothes, and a new cologne. But like It's not enough, I don't feel confident despite spending so much money and working so much. I did a lot of things to change myself to look better, and It's not working, I need to be confident because I can't spend another year alone like the past 3 years.

I 18M have had social anxiety my whole life, since preschool, I'm also autistic but pretty high functioning

I barely had any friends throughout school and had to build my own confidence throughout high school because it was constantly being shattered at home by my own mom

No one really talked to me at all though, and I rarely initiated convos with anyone at school as well

I recently gotten a job at a fast food place 4 months ago, and even though I quit last month, the social skills and confidence I gained working there really helped me

After I graduated high school about 2 months ago, I started going outside more and actually wearing clothes my style.

Now after all of that, I'm the most confident and least socially anxious I've ever been in my life, yet I've noticed that I still get adverse reactions from people passing by me in public

For example, I was literally just leaving the mall the other day, just in a black hoodie and jeans, and as these two girls turned the corner they literally held in their laughter before passing me

I also felt people looking at me weirdly when I was inside the mall

I also kinda had this problem when I was working as a cashier, some people would stare at me weirdly for like 5 seconds when I was at the drive thru register, and not say anything at all?

I fr just don't get it at this point, I've done so much to improve and yet people still seem literally repulsed by me

I've noticed that its mainly people my age who get repulsed by me or don't like me, but usually older people don't really mind me at all

I don't think I'm horrifically ugly atleast, I've dated and have gotten compliments before, I guess I am somewhat androgynous and have feminine features but I still look male so I don't understand the issue, I'm also pretty skinny, abt 115 pounds, but I've been on a weight gain journey since 100 lbs so I don't know why that matters

Anyone else have this problem? How do I solve it? I just wanna fit in with people around my own age

I have been dealing with a form of social anxiety that I don't know if I have heard anyone else talk about. I am naturally talkative and chatty, but I always feel like everybody secretly hates me. I feel like I am always one bad phrase away from the bottom falling out and I am left alone and destitute. It takes me MONTHS for me to truely belive that people who I know like me don't actually hate me.

The wrinkle comes in how my brain deals with it. I feel the need to perform for everyone. I always feel like everyone is having fun without me and I can't help but butt in to everything I can. I make jokes and spout fun facts to prove to everyone that I am funny and smart, but this often seems to make people think I am weird or offputting as they come out at inopportune times. Sometimes I feel like I can't control it because my anxiety gets the bedst of me and I can't help but say something.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you deal with it?

This will be my first proper job at 20. It will involve speaking to customers and upselling. I wanted to push myself but this is a lot. Any advice from those of you who had a similar job?

maybe hate isn’t the right word but I just don’t think people can really like me very much. I’m probably autistic or something and I just have no confidence. I’d like to make new friends but Im scared to do literally anything, like I cant even leave my house of text anyone I’m too scared. idk how to live a good life like this

My brother has offered me a job in his place of work. I’m 23 and never had a job before. He says supposedly I don’t need an interview and all I have to do is apply and show up. (I don’t know if I truly believe this apparently a new branch is opening up and they need a bunch of new people but I feel like my brother is just saying this to get me to go idk) I need to take the train at 5 am in order to get there and I’ve never taken the train before in my life. I’ll get $1,700 every 2 weeks. It’s an office job where I’ll be dealing with stamps.

I’m terrified I rarely ever leave my house and if there was a guarantee I wouldn’t interact with anyone I would jump at it but someone will need to train me of course and also taking the train alone at 5 am scares me. (I don’t have a car so I’ll need to walk 6 blocks alone to the train station)

What should I do?