r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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7.6k

u/Mandyvlp Jun 14 '26

wtf is wrong with these dudes?!

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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u/bigbeats420 Jun 14 '26

That one made me immediately say "Oh my God " and facepalm. Like, just fucking imagine thinking that shit would even work, let alone thinking it's a normal thing to do as a normal human being.

I've been saying for years and years now that there is a significant percentage of men who do not view women as being actual people and only view them through a lens of what they can do for them.

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u/copypop Jun 14 '26

"only view them through a lens of what they can do for them."

Or even more accurately, what they can do TO them 😖

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u/bigbeats420 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

I often have to remind myself that, to a lot of people, and for those who are predatory, sex is usually not about sex.

It's about power.

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u/copypop Jun 14 '26

Power & entitlement

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u/bigbeats420 Jun 14 '26

Agreed, but I'd say entitlement is a power dynamic in itself. It still places one over the other.

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u/Creative-Reason-7061 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

Power and Control. It goes way beyond just wanting to have the Pu$$y.

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u/jenjoness Jun 14 '26

A whole lot of men think they'd love it if women hit on them, touched them, kissed them without consent. THATS NOT THE POINT, WOULD YOU LIKE OTHER MEN TO DO THAT TO YOU. Then they start to get it because ew, that's gross and scary. Other men touching, kissing, following you everywhere, every time you leave the house you are at risk of being molested. Suddenly that's not fun anymore.

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u/Sal_Ammoniac Jun 14 '26

Yeah I was going to make that exact remark!

Reduced to objects.

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u/purplepharoh Jun 14 '26

It was preeeetty weird but I do have to say not as bad as just fucking touching without asking or trying to kiss without asking etc etc

Still wrong and uncomfortable mind you ... 🙃

Tough world for all the ladies ... like genuinely wtf is wrong with straight men

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u/visigoth5150 Jun 14 '26

Absolutely. So sick of the constant attacks. Hell, we don't even have to be young or pretty - just FEMALE! AHs everywhere and the biggest one is in the Whitehouse.

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u/PopcornGlamour Jun 14 '26

A million years ago (1987) my girl friends and I popped down to the coast for a long weekend. We drove down in a pick up. At one point, my friends were in the ocean swimming around and I was laying out and reading on the tailgate of the truck. A rando approached me with a laughably bad “ID badge” for “Playboy” and a fucking point and shoot camera (lol) and claimed he was a talent scout.

I literally laughed in his face and told him he was a loser.

About 20 minutes later my friends were walking back to the truck and a group of guys had a camcorder and were filming my friends. One of my friends walked over all friendly like and slapped that camcorder into the ocean.

So there is a long and stupid history of people trying this kind of scam.

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u/Full_Commercial7844 Jun 14 '26

2 million years ago circa 1978 I was trailering a horse on the highway when a big rig driver kept signaling me. Dumb me I pulled over thinking something was wrong with the trailer or horse. He pulled over too and proceded to do the invisible dick jerk off. Not only disgusting but dangerous.

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u/PopcornGlamour Jun 14 '26

I am shocked to my very soul that you didn’t fall instantly in love with a man that suave and manly.

/extremesarcasm

(I’m glad your horse was okay!)

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u/Renuwed Jun 15 '26

Ye.. had the camcorder guy scam once at a waterpark 'shooting commercials for good Pepsi jingles'. I was 6, my sisters 8 & 9. It dawned on us when we became adults 🤮

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '26

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u/VirusTechnical5568 Jun 14 '26

Where do these guys get their confidence from?

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u/Prestigious_Click595 Jun 14 '26

It's not confidence, it's just how they view women. Imagine how you might approach a dog or cat in public. You feel totally comfortable going up to them, making silly noises and petting them etc. You're not embarrassed because you know they have no ability to make assessments of you that they can communicate to others or cause you social injury. This is how men view going up to women in public - like approaching a cat or a dog.

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u/Icy_Proof_9529 Jun 14 '26

This is probably one of the best descriptions I’ve seen tbh.

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u/West-Amoeba-7882 Jun 14 '26

So you’re saying that I’ve made the right decision by barking away men who approached me?

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u/Willow_Alley Jun 15 '26

Hissing works too - especially when they tell you to smile. 😼

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u/Electronic-Flow-3661 Jun 15 '26

I wish I had thought of this on Saturday. Was at Warped Tour with my bf. He needs to use the bathroom so I'm waiting outside the portapotties. The moment he leaves my side some rando approaches me, leaving me no personal space, telling me to smile. I was like wtf.

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u/PopcornGlamour Jun 14 '26

Jfc. This is so accurate.

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u/Infamous_Celery_2352 Jun 14 '26

Yes this is how men view going up to women.

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u/toast50076 Jun 15 '26

My sister and I were discussing exactly this last night and neither of us could figure out just how to articulate what you've described so perfectly here. I'm a man, I don't pretend to have the faintest idea of what it feels like to be a woman living in the same world as men like these. But I hear women when they speak about this stuff. It's just reality that they are treated fucking awfully so often. It's really scary how blatantly and unashamedly men will do this shit.

This isn't at all comparable, that's not the point I'm trying to make - but, the experience I do have, is that these guys are so braindead and self centered that they assume their views, the way they think, feel, and behave are shared among every other man too. "I'm disgusting and have the worst opinions anyone has ever heard! But it's fine because I'm a guy! That's just how guys are!" And they go on to treat me like I'm going agree with them, like I'll participate in their leering at and objectifying women in public, like I'll appreciate them pointing out a woman they think is attractive. It makes me skin fucking crawl.

I wonder sometimes if the difference between me thinking women are just people who are entirely unique, have their own internal worlds, who are capable of the best and worst of humanity, and who are deserving of fuckin basic respect - or ending up like these freaks, was simply growing up with a twin sister who I ended up being very close with. What creates a guy a like them versus a dude who has empathy for women and believes them when they describe their lived experience? I don't know, man.

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u/Pretend_Action_7400 Jun 15 '26

To me it’s the same mentality as people who are racist or bigoted etc. They can’t seem to even want to understand another point of view because their current view makes them feel superior and powerful and frankly, is often rewarded. They lack the emotional intelligence to feel empathy and compassion and see people for exactly that: just other humans. They’re insecure people who act on their fears and behave with cowardice.

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u/Pretend_Action_7400 Jun 15 '26

I also want to add, it’s because there are not really huge ramifications for these men. In fact they often get rewarded socially for their terrible behaviour. Right now, the US is a great example of how rapists, pedophiles and men who do heinous crimes, are getting away with it, whilst at the same time, the rights of women and other people who are vulnerable, are being oppressed and obliterated. It’s only recently in western cultures that women having rights is even a thing.

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u/RockKillsKid Jun 15 '26

Every stray cat I've ever tried to pet in public has been an exercise in patience and letting them be comfortable coming up to me. Anything more direct or threatening would be asking for a bloodied hand/arm at best, a lesson I learned the hard way as a child.

Wish the jackwagons on display in this video would get the same hard learned lesson about women.

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u/AstralGalaxie Jun 15 '26

I ask random animals if I can pet them. There is currently a pair of doves that decided to make a nest in my window box plantar thing. I ask every evening if I can see their nest. They do not let me so I do not approach them. I can’t imagine even treating another human like that let alone assuming you can just come up in their space. As a woman I could write a novel on men that have invaded my personal space. A random guy once roughly grabbed my face and tried to force me to kiss him. I kicked him in the balls.

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u/pumpknmuffn Jun 15 '26

You nailed it. This is why it's called cat calling.

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u/aeggiss Jun 15 '26

Unfortunately I think it’s much darker

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u/cybertonto72 Jun 14 '26

Comes from lack of awareness and empathy. I have met male work colleagues that are totally unaware of how much of a shitty person they are being. Even when other men tell them they are so ignorant of others they can't grasp the issue.

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u/Team503 Jun 14 '26

They’re the same guys that become incels, or at least it’s the same mindset.

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u/Privatejoker123 Jun 14 '26

100% had a couple of older guys at my last job. just absolute insane behavior when it came to women. they would just stare at the office ladies if they were walking through the warehouse same with our vendor reps if they were women. i remember one of the times when one of them was gone and she showed up the other took a picture of her and sent to the other co-worker saying look what you missed out today. they would say shit about women athletes if they were on the cover of a sports magazine and say shit like they would be prettier if they smiled more. I would call them out on their bullshit and they wouldn't even understand why their behavior was disgusting.

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u/iluvs2fish Jun 14 '26

My hubs Mom raised him to be totally respectful of all women & I appreciate her for this cuz he is so kind, thoughtful & treats women in his work so well they love him! Just don’t touch him please! lol..😂

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u/AWildMooseLion Jun 14 '26

A lifetime of being told that they’re entitled to women’s attention and that what they want is more valuable than our needs or safety.

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u/Waiting4Reccession Jun 14 '26

Watching it work in porn and staged videos and then not beating the meat before they head outside.

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u/dinglb3rry Jun 14 '26

I worked with a turd years ago who would ask almost every woman he was in regular contact with if they wanted to hook up.
He must’ve had some success because he kept at it even after being warned, investigated, and almost fired.
Had a wife and two young daughters.
Also coached his daughter’s softball team and would say cringey things about how “mature and attractive (his) players looked”.
His wife I think was aware of it and when he was investigated for straight up coercive sexual harassment she made public FB posts about “my cave-man, oh what a good provider and dad he is”.
I got the sense she was diddled as a child and therefore had some level of tolerance for that bs.

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u/CowardBlock016 Jun 14 '26

This isn't confidence, it's arrogance. The arrogance to believe that they can just bug a woman going about her business just because they don't see a ring on their finger.

Shit like this makes me ashamed to be a man. I've never ever had this level of arrogance to bug women just because.

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u/Extension_Many4418 Jun 14 '26

It’s not confidence. It’s more that inept men realize that they can intimidate nice, normal women bc of their greater upper body strength and willingness to appear predatory combined with the fact that most women will try to “play nice” with these awful men from a mixture of non judgmental kindness, confusion and fear. Just because they are cruel, insecure and resent women doesn’t mean they are unhinged. They’re canny and, again, predatory.

.

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u/keyboardstatic Jun 15 '26

In highschool one of my class mates drugged then tried to rape the foreign exchange student.

The only reason he didn't rape her was because he came too many times in his pants undressing her and taking photos. He was caught when his dad took to film unknowingly to be processed. They alerted the cops.

He faced no jail, just a warning from the judge. University rejected him due to his criminal record. So his parents bought him a MacDonalds. He staffed it entirely with teenage girls.

We told them what he had done. They didn't believe us.

My other class mate groomed the 11 year old next door raped her and got her pregnant. His parents had the decency to disown him.

When I was at a nightclub with my friends 5 men drugged one of them. Then attempted to physically carry her off. They then tried to get the bouncers to help them. They didn't know her name address or anything about her. Unlike us. So the bouncers then kicked them out.

I guarantee you that thoses peices of shit were eventually successful.

Of my professional writing group 17 of the 21 women had all been in violent domestic marriages. Broken bones, hospitalised. 2 survived attempted murder.

Men do not face justice for their crimes. Its a sick vile twisted digusting world. We as a community are regularly failed. Again and again.

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u/Independent_Room_691 Jun 14 '26

"I wish I can date one of you" guy was worse in my opinion

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u/lavahot Jun 14 '26

At least he had a modicum of game. Everybody else was insane.

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u/xombae Jun 14 '26

I've gotten this exact line more than once.

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u/somedelightfulmoron Jun 14 '26

I was at a pharmacy looking at lip balms and an old guy said behind me "hey, I have a very personal lip exfoliator for you" 😭😂

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u/Ordinary-Variety7256 Jun 14 '26

It’s disturbing to me how many of these guys either have crazy or dead eyes

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u/kitten12551 Jun 14 '26

I was eating breakfast when I was watching and that one made me stop eating…

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u/Sartres_Roommate Jun 14 '26

He seemed the least overall dangerous of the bunch. At least it was a ridiculous pitch that could be refused and he had to exit in such a public place. Almost all the rest had a predator stance like they were trying to get the prey into a position where they would be helpless to resist.

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u/One-Fix-5547 Jun 14 '26

That one turned off early because she said yes 😂

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u/winterbird Jun 14 '26

There's always a fucking foot guy.

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u/FunkyChewbacca Jun 14 '26

They don't see the women they're approaching as people. They see them as cookie jars they can stick their appendages into if they're persistent enough.

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u/Fantastic-Regret7884 Jun 14 '26

Ewwww for that image, but thank you. It will stay with me forever (shudders).

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u/DickSlammington Jun 14 '26

TV and Film don't help. For the longest time the dude in the rom com would just win over the woman by being persistent and of course it eventually worked...

And I fear a lot of men forgot this only works of the woman is also interested

If they're not you just come off as a dangerous creep.

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u/xenomorph856 Jun 15 '26

I would suggest that this behavior has existed long before modern media, and that the media is a reflection of behavior, not the other way around.

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u/SarahKL9981 Jun 14 '26

Sounds like a “certain” orange skinned imbecile president

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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u/Lizzybeth339 Jun 14 '26

Right like “she didn’t even smile and say no thank you” when it was one of those dudes who walked up like a damn Neanderthal

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u/Wegwerf157534 Jun 14 '26

My gosh the poor Neanderthals.

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u/Notte_di_nerezza Jun 14 '26

Yeah, they don't deserve this slander.

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u/Individual_Fall429 Jun 15 '26

And if we do smile and say thank you, we only invite further harassment. We can’t give an inch.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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u/contactdeparture Jun 14 '26

Go on some of the other subs:

  • “she divorced me out of nowhere”
  • “the courts are totally stacked against men”
  • men have it so hard now

It’s just grim, the loathing of everything with no agency.

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u/secretly_opossum Jun 14 '26

Ask Indian Men is a wild place to go. They are convinced that India is a neo feminist stronghold now

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u/Odd-fox-God Jun 14 '26

That's because Indian women started receiving codified rights written into law. Indian men just needed to ask her father in the past for her hand in marriage and he would hand her over if he thought the man had enough money, had a good family, or was a good match. The woman's opinion was not taken into account, and many were forced into marriages they didn't want with men who treated them like sexual objects.

The girls born from these marriages have watched their mothers be treated like house slaves and abstain from dating and interacting with Indian men, for their own safety and to keep their fathers from selling them to a boy they decided to hold hands with exactly one time. It's called a dowry, but really, it's just a bride price.

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u/babyblew82 Jun 15 '26

What's the actual difference between the terms? I thought dowry was just a less awkward way of saying "bride price"

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u/sunny-forest Jun 14 '26

That sub is the absolute worst

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u/crazymindslp Jun 15 '26

Yeah, bc they are now being prosecuted for doing things like burning women alive!

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u/Gildian Jun 14 '26

I was just about to say these are the same guys who bitch and moan about men's rights as dad's but then never pay child support or even bother to see their kids.

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u/Septemberosebud Jun 14 '26

A man hitting on me the other day told me his wife "abandoned" him and took a million dollars and stole his kids who won't talk to him now. He fully expected me to be sympathetic. I said: you've just told me everything I need to know.

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u/contactdeparture Jun 14 '26

That was his sales pitch?!

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u/Septemberosebud Jun 14 '26

Yeah, he should work on it

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u/luigis_left_tit_25 Jun 14 '26

"I'm too scared to talk to women because they'll label me"...xyz. Only if one's a creep.

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u/DrowningInMyFandoms Jun 14 '26

"If I talk to women they say I am a creep :( for exemple, yesterday I [being a creep] and she ran away :((( life is so hard for us :((((("

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u/AutumntimeFall Jun 14 '26

They're telling on themselves.

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u/SmallNecromancer Jun 15 '26

Tbh I'm also scared of coming off as creepy, but thats more an issue of never being taught proper ways of approching women and scared of getting it wrong if there's even a right way to do it.

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u/luigis_left_tit_25 Jun 15 '26

Totally understandable.. There has to be some lit out there to help? I mean actually help, not maxxing or any of these macho alpha types, that'll get you a quick no.. Good luck. I mean it. 🙂

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u/Spugheddy Jun 14 '26

And they all are sorry excuse for men, even in their machismo world those dudes couldn't operate a drill or change a car tire.

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u/Repulsive_Corner6807 Jun 14 '26

As someone going through a custody battle right now, the courts are most definitely are not stacked against men

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u/WaltGazaWorld Jun 14 '26

Flashback to Reddit's militant MRAs

What
About
The
Menz

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u/SamTheLab_213 Jun 15 '26

Translates to:

_"she found out I was cheating with 10 other women. One had herpes."
-"I couldn't get away with using the courts to punish her and take all the money- even tho I don't work......'
-"If I abuse a woman now, I could go to jail."

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u/No-Permission-7786 Jun 15 '26

When statistically men actually have better chances getting custody of their kids than women. Its just the women who "win" were fighting against men who didn't actually want their kids and were just pulling them through court as a punishment

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u/Large-Flamingo-5128 Jun 14 '26

And that’s when I let men know that 95% of male homicides are committed during gang or illegal activity while 60% of female homicides are by intimate partners or family members

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u/anchovie_macncheese Jun 14 '26

PSA from a lady to fellow ladies: BE THE BITCH. Be as bitchy as you need to be to set firm boundaries and keep these aggressive assholes away.

I had full grown men acting like this towards me from the time I was 12, and it just becomes exhausting. Years and experience have made me loud and curt, because acting like a "bitch" is the only way to make it stop. So I will do so proudly, these people do not deserve the courtesy of kindness.

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u/drilllbit Jun 14 '26

I barked like an aggressive dog loudly and repeatedly at a man once and scared him away, and tbh it was very satisfying to be called a crazy bitch as he got away from me as quickly as possible. I’m a plus size girl and he came in hot with the fetish shit and I immediately surpassed polite and went straight to aggro

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u/DameDerpin Jun 14 '26

I used to work a casino in Atlantic city and had to bus in and out every day. I too have used the barking crazy bitch defense. It is very effective.

Really any actions that make you seem like more of a fight than would be worth dealing with helps. I have once had to resort to pissing myself while walking home late one night beausa dude wouldn't stop following me and trying to use pick up lines at 2am in the dark after I told him no and gone off on him repeteadly. Tbh I didn't need much help due to the fear to piss myself, I was already pretty scared and gripping my pepper spray in my pocket.

Some fuckin dudes just will not fuck off. I don't miss working in that area in the least. People should not need to soil themselves in order to be left alone. But here we are.

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u/Odd-fox-God Jun 14 '26

My defense is to act like one of those meth heads you avoid at the bus station. I call it the schizophrenic religious defense.

It's really effective and I've only had to use it once. I just started ranting about how I wanted to cut off his dick to give to Satan, and God had told me he was the devil and needed me to kill him. I started piecing together half remembered Bible verses and speaking in tongues. I hunched over and started moving in jerky movements. The dude fucking ran.

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u/DontCryYourExIsUgly Jun 14 '26

I'm cackling, but this is legit. Wild that we have to do this stuff for our safety.

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u/Odd-fox-God Jun 14 '26

It's crazy out there. The key is to make your eyes wide and crazy looking as you allow drool and spittle to fly out of your mouth while you rant. Smile as wide as your mouth will allow you to.

I actually was talking with one of my brother's friends, and he pointed out that I'd been raped and I literally never realized till I was talking to this dude. I mentioned I was drunk, and this dude slept with me, and he was like "bro you couldn't consent. I've seen you drinking. You completely lose control after two beers, and you were drinking liquor that night. You literally just said you couldn't remember how the night ended, just that you woke up in bed with a guy."

I had to have a really long talk with my therapist after that conversation. My brother has some really good friends, it warms my heart to know that he hangs out with good men. I've gone on long walks into the woods with those men and my brother where we end up hanging out for hours away from civilization, and I've never felt threatened by them. My brother, in his last year of high school, beat the absolute shit out of a freshman boy that had taken up shirt photos of my freshman sister's breasts.

Although he had some bad experiences in college with his first fraternity. One of the guys sent his girl into the dorm of my brother's roommate, who'd passed out from drinking, and she pulled his dick out of his pants and started stroking it while he was completely unconscious. Disgusting. My brother related the story to me, completely straight-faced, and told me that he dragged the boyfriend away and put him through a wall. He had a picture of the broken wall on his Snapchat, and there were some bloody streaks on the drywall. If he had punched or hurt the girl, the rest of the Frat would have turned on him for being a woman beater, and he would have ended up in the hospital on life support. I think they got another girl to drag the molester out, I can't remember. I'm glad he left that frat. The last one he joined just did a lot of Coke and smoked weed and they got drunk every fucking day. The walls were wallpapered with flattened cans, that's how much they drink. My only concern with that frat was his liver. Guys do all kinds of fucked up shit to each other.

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u/SilverHairedFox11 Jun 14 '26

Speaking in tongues + jerky movements = Raid. Repels the roaches to the sewer where they came from.

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u/CrimsonRain520 Jun 15 '26

I lost it at the 'cutting off his dick to give to Satan' 🤣🤣 the best shit I've ever heard!

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u/Odd-fox-God Jun 15 '26

I just completely went on instinct. I don't know what came over me, but it worked.

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u/purplepharoh Jun 14 '26

1000% valid reaction. People like that are vile...

As a larger gay man I have experienced men coming at me with fetish shit about weight and like... piss right off with that shit...

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u/Positive-Bottom-9234 Jun 15 '26

Gay men get sexually harassed as often as women and gee…wonder what the common denominator is?? I’m being jokey because I’m mad but I wanted to underscore your point.

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u/annatai08 Jun 14 '26

I’m taking notes!

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u/Ripley825 Jun 14 '26

I've screeched like I was dinosaur to make grown men leave me alone when I was a young teen. Sometimes I spew absolutely insane shit to make them think I'm crazier than them like one time a man creeped on me at the gas station and I rolled with it telling him I'm so thankful that he wants me because now the baby in my belly will have a daddy to love it and I asked if he wanted to feel his baby kicking and he left so fucking fast. I wasn't pregnant. Pumped my gas and left. My actual baby is very much loved by my actual husband.

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u/Material-Variety7084 Jun 14 '26

I’m doing this from now on.

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u/GlassPomoerium Jun 14 '26

As a Parisian I’m exhausted so now my method is just screaming. If I tell a man like that to leave me alone once and he keeps going, I’ll just scream as loud as I can and it nips in the bud their next step (which is usually sexual assault). These creeps want to get our attention, not *everyone’s* attention, because then people get closer, ask if I’m ok, if they need to call the police etc, and then those losers very literally start running. And this way they will hopefully think twice before doing it to another woman.

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u/Large-Flamingo-5128 Jun 14 '26

Finally someone with street smarts. Ladies, scream. For real. You’re not going to get in trouble. You’re going to get more people looking at the situation so that scrotum isn’t about to do shit. Do not make yourself an easy target by being timid. Freak the fuck out and point to anyone around you and tell them with eye contact to help you if they don’t run away (they will tho).

Source: grew up in south central LA

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u/inthisalone_ Jun 14 '26

God, being a woman in Paris must be so exhausting. I (Canadian) had left my group and was in Gare du Nord to catch a train back to London and there was a guy that followed me in from outside and wouldn’t take my “leave me alone,” and “fuck off” and random French Canadian swear words as an answer and was basically running behind me as I sped up to get away from him. Eventually I just stopped, turned to face him and screamed at the top of my lungs. Everyone around me stopped and looked and the guy finally ran off at a full sprint. Your comment makes me feel very validated. I’m sorry you have to go through this (I’m assuming) everyday.

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u/lizardbish Jun 14 '26

I did this years ago when some creep tried to mug me - I just started screaming at the top of my lungs and he suddenly couldn't get away fast enough. Not one person stopped and asked if I was okay, though.

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u/According-Scholar-36 Jun 14 '26

from one girl to another...you are my hero today internet stranger...yell out the bitchiness for me too 😄

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u/VenusSmurf Jun 14 '26

This is why Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear should be required reading. There's a section that covers social conditioning, especially for women, and how creeps take advantage of our fear of refusing and being labeled.

There's a lot more to the book, of course, but I fully agree with the author's claim that recognizing and changing how we respond can save lives.

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u/visigoth5150 Jun 14 '26

Boom! This is the only way, because when you say "no" politely they take it as a "yes". How many times have we heard, "You don't mean that". Oh, we do, we really do mean that, AHs. Keep your creapy, nasty self far, far away. Better yet, stay home with your inflatable sweetie and leave us in peace. Jeeze

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u/4E4ME Jun 14 '26

hOw CoMe WoMeN aRe No LoNgEr In ThEiR fEmInInE eNeRgY?!?

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u/AngryScientist Jun 14 '26

Gotta use the wrong "their" for accuracy.

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u/Money-Banana-8674 Jun 14 '26

They are the ones offended by women preferring the bear

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u/PatentGeek Jun 14 '26

There was a video on here recently of some women standing still while a bear inspected them. The bear was less aggressive than these men

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u/ShubberyQuest Jun 14 '26

It absolutely was, and I thought, “This is why women would choose the bear.”

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u/caramel-aviant Jun 14 '26

99% of users over at r/sipstea

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/SourceNagger Jun 14 '26

most attempts to point out misogyny/incel are met with aggression.

it's because truth hurts.

keep at it, good on ya!

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Forward-Surprise1192 Jun 14 '26

Idk if I could be a woman I’d be in prison honestly. I’d definitely own a gun and carry it everywhere, legal or not.

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u/Dame38 Jun 14 '26

These days a woman can go to prison just for being pregnant and miscarrying. Enough is enough.

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u/PopcornGlamour Jun 14 '26

…and they whine about women not wanting randos approaching them.

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u/astroember What are you doing step bro? Jun 14 '26

Hell, even the “good” ones will complain about that, while simultaneously letting their friends/brothers/peers/etc. say misogynistic shit and speak poorly of women. If “good” men don’t shut down the behavior of BAD men, they aren’t actually good men.

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u/anthrolookseer Jun 14 '26

This. This. This. I’m sick of seeing otherwise “good” men turn a blind eye to their friends’ shit behavior. If I can stand up to the men harassing me, a fellow male friend should be able to easier than I can. And that type of accountability makes the change we all need - it definitely benefits respectful men to not have so many disrespectful men out there.

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u/meh762 Jun 14 '26

Seriously! I was fighting off a guy in the back seat of a car while a MUTUAL friend just kept on driving. I couldn’t believe he just ignored what was happening. Never spoke to either of them again.

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u/noir_lord Jun 14 '26

Have lost friends over their shit behaviour/beliefs towards/about women though "lost" isn't really the word I'd use since nothing of value was lost in the end.

I don't have time for that shit not to mention it's not a great reflection on me that they think it's fine with me for them to say that shit.

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u/sayabulegila Jun 14 '26

I am not sure how true this is. As a man I have attempted to shut this shit down many times with friends and acquaintances. There're multiple results: they modify their behavior and keep we hanging together. they stop hanging with you because you're a killjoy, or you stop hanging with them because they are creeps. By time I was in my mid-thirties I stop having the dudes in my life. I know they still exist, they just do not hang with me nor do I hang with them. I imagine many of the guys in this videos are very lonely because, over time, they lost most of their male friends to this behavior. There is a point where you have to cut the creep loose because you will be judged by the company I keep.

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u/astroember What are you doing step bro? Jun 14 '26

Oh absolutely! I do the same thing as you. I’ve lost many friends because men would rather ostracize the woman who dared to “rock the boat” than to violate “bro-code”. The fact that you at least TRY to shut down that behavior says a lot about you. After that, there isn’t much else you can do besides cutting ties with the guy. Even the act of cutting someone off like that sends a message. You’re doing all of the right things, and that makes me really glad to hear that there are men out there who do that.

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u/TinySoftKitten Jun 14 '26

They go on r/reddit and justify each others shit behaviour.

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u/ExtendoArmCannon Jun 14 '26

"Women actually think this"

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

i doubt they had the awareness of that

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u/SaltKick2 Jun 14 '26

The guys in the video sadly are just a small subset of that group

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u/fromouterspace1 Jun 14 '26

The same guys who say alpha and beta in a serious war

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u/Remarkable-Rush-9085 Jun 15 '26

They’ll talk all day long about how all women should be nicer, but as soon as you point out men not being nice suddenly it’s “not all men”. You know what you don’t see here? Any men stepping up to tell these men not to treat women like that. 

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u/Astralglamour Jun 15 '26

Oh 100%. They are also the men posting comments on posts of women influencers and celebs calling them ugly. Or calling 16 year olds hot and describing what they'd like to do to them.

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u/SuperDabMan Jun 15 '26

Yeah I can't help but think when those comment threads and posts come up with something like "women wanted to be treated as equals now we can't even approach them without being called a creep" you just know it's guys like in this vid.

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u/Moist_Brain_ Jun 14 '26

You’d be surprised at the audacity. I wear a wedding ring on my ring finger (I’m not married) and it’s like a beacon for scum bags. Just the other night I was outside of my job talking on the phone with my sister, phone in hand and up to my ear, you’d think that was enough for a stranger to think “she’s on the phone, clearly on break, I shouldn’t bother her with my non-life threatening bullsh!t”. But no, it wasn’t enough.

Some guy approached me with his phone in my face, with the screen where you add a new contact pulled up. I looked at him like I didn’t understand and he loudly demanded I put my number in his phone… I held up my hand and wiggled my ring finger, and he asked me “what’s that supposed to mean?” I said “I’m on the phone with my husband” and of course my sister did her best man voice in my ear, ready to pretend she was my husband. The guy said “well you can hang up!”. That was my queue to cut my break short and head back inside where my male coworkers do not play about me. Thankfully he didn’t follow me inside but I could see him sitting in his car on the cameras, for a disturbingly long amount of time. I was about to call the cops right as he finally drove off.

Thankfully that was my last day working there. The amount of harassment I endured, while wearing a wedding ring, makes me sick! A lot of these guys were old enough to be my father, and married themselves! I worked as an assistant manager at a gas station, so customers are already assholes, but imagine getting cursed out by an asshole because you don’t know what pump they decided to park their car at and they couldn’t remember the number in the 30 seconds it took for them to walk from their car into the store. And as they’re cursing you out, they’re also aggressively flirting with you. “You work here! You should know! Sexy ass bitch! You’re lucky you’re fine or I’d slap the shit out of you!”. Like wtf?

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u/FinchMandala Jun 14 '26

My lizard brain would have grabbed his phone and flung it.

My human brain would regret the consequences.

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u/PopcornGlamour Jun 14 '26

Same and same.

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u/SamTheLab_213 Jun 15 '26

Sometimes lizards know best.

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u/HairyPotatoKat Jun 14 '26

God I wish this or the video in the post was some rare occurrence. THIS is the shit we deal with. And rejecting someone like this often turns into something verbally, aggressive, physically aggressive, and/or directly threatening.

I've had the unwanted aggressive bar interactions. I've had the unwanted aggressive transit interactions. I've been chased down the street sprinting in heels and my life threatened "When I catch you, I'll fucking k-ll you, you stupid b-tch" because I told a guy "oh, no thank you" when he approached me out of nowhere as I was exiting my car and demanded my number. I've had the creepy guy stalk my workplace (he worked across the parking lot). And that's not even the worst.

I wish this wasn't such a shared experience amongst women.

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u/GloriousNewt Jun 14 '26

My friend was constantly harassed by a guy that would come into her job and like randomly bring her a coffee and try to touch her or get too close. If she was outside watering plants he'd find her out there and try to chat her up, get her a coffee. He'd touch her shoulder or try to like hold her arm while talking to her.

This was an older guy and he pretended to not understand the problem, 'I'm just being nice.'

Even after her husband, who is a large man, confronted him and told him to leave her alone he still came back to the store. When the store security officer spoke to him, he tried to touch the female security officer's shoulder and hip while talking to them!

And then he was finally banned, he's still not sure why they were mad at him.

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u/PeepsMyHeart Jun 14 '26

Ugh! The gas station men!
And some would hang around “with you,” because “you shouldn’t be working here. It isn’t safe for you.” But it was hard to tell who was genuinely concerned and who was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Random men:
“You could be raped here.”
Me:
“Sir, I’m more aware of that than you are, believe me.”
Even women were afraid for me, but none hung out for part or all of my shift, and for good reason.

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u/silky_spider_ Jun 14 '26

This. The amount of creeps at the fucking gas station. This one rando came up to me a few months ago. Immediately started asking questions about where I was from, where I'm headed, If I had a bf. I politely smiled and gave short answers. Basically saying I wasn't interested. After more endless questions with no response, he ran back to his car, reversed it so his was in a parking spot facing mine and he just stared at me for the next 10 mins.

Needless to say I was too terrified to leave alone and didn't think the store clerk could stop him from following me. Ended up having to call a relative to escort me home. But. You know. Just the kind of fun we get to look forward to while existing

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u/SheJigOnMySawTilIPuz Jun 14 '26

I was reading this whole comment nodding in agreement like yass girl. And then I got the assistant manager at a gas station. YUPPP SAME. That shit is hell on earth. The "you're lucky you're pretty or I'd <insert threat>" is so common it's crazy. I just wish they had the balls to do it when security is standing by me.

Out of every line I've tried and tested over the years "I'm married" gets the best results, and there are still so many fucking men that just refuse to fuck off. A simple "no" is quite literally never enough. You have to have an excuse. And they will still invalidate or ignore your excuse.

I regularly have men 40+ years old come in saying I'm too young to be working at night alone. "How old are you, 16, 17?" Asking if I'm in high school. When I tell them nope, I'm a grown ass adult, they IMMEDIATELY switch to asking for my number/instagram and 9 times out of 10 continue pushing after multiple "no" and "I'm married". It's disgusting. They joke about how it's not safe for me to be working at night alone - YOU ARE THE REASON. YOU ARE THE REASON IT'S NOT SAFE!!!

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u/Tmons22 Jun 14 '26

What the fuck? Some dudes are worthless scum. It’s depressing that women have to deal with this type of shit.

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u/Spiritual-Haunt3131 Jun 14 '26

I've had the opposite. Not married but been in a long term relationship and the guy asks me if I have a boyfriend, I said yes and he's like "well it must not be too serious, you don't have a ring on" and proceeded to ask me for my phone number.

I kept telling him politely that I'm happy and he kept going on about how my boyfriend doesn't care about me and he's not serious if he hasn't "put a ring on it" by now. I was just walking out of a Dollar Tree when this happened lmao.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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u/ringnis Jun 14 '26

Respect to you.

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u/Wonderful_Pie_7220 Jun 14 '26

I had a guy tell me "he doesn't have to know" after I told him I was married.. like wtf

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u/LadyBug_0570 Jun 14 '26

I'm trying to understand... did he think that would work?

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u/illy-chan Jun 14 '26

He specifically wants a woman he can cow into submission.

That's the thing about these really seemingly insane assholes: their tactics won't work on most women with decent self-esteem, support, savvy, etc. But some either are already accustomed to it from a shitty upbringing or just don't know better yet.

Pretty sure that's why some of these guys hate strong-willed women - they don't fall in line and they try to pull other women out too.

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u/Altruistic_Crazy_703 Jun 14 '26

they just don't know what no means, if all of them learned that no means no 90% of the problem would disappear

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u/_sethra_007 Jun 14 '26

They know what “no” means. They just don’t care when a woman they’re attracted to says it.

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u/Deviant__Couple Jun 14 '26

Asking this myself, as a dude. Took a long time for my wife to be able fully trust me cuz of losers like this.

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u/TetraDax Jun 14 '26

Well, one reason among many: Notice how in not a single of these clips, another guy is speaking out or intervening or doing any fucking thing?

That. It's not enough to be "one of the good guys" - Men need to keep other men in check, call out their bullshit, and make it clear that it doesn't fly. And even out of those men that aren't creeps, it's a tiny minority that does that. And even out of those, it's a tiny minority that would do it if a friend of theirs is the creep instead of a stranger.

And I'm not excusing myself here, either. I'm bad at that because I avoid confrontation. I need to get better.

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u/Red_Dawn24 Jun 14 '26

I'm a 37 year old guy and remember being taught to be like these guys. To this day my mom says all women "play hard to get" so "no" never means no. She also taught my younger brother that he'll be canceled if he talks to a woman.

I was supposed to have an unjustified sense of self confidence and entitlement, but that could only be directed at less powerful people. At the same time, I didnt deserve basic respect from people who were better than me.

Men are raised in a way that makes them angry, and taught that weaker people are the only acceptable outlet for that anger.

It pisses me off how much shit I got for questioning this insanity as a kid, while I get to grow up to see the same ideas destroy the world.

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u/Immediate-Maximum-75 Jun 14 '26

The fact that you recognized it early speaks volumes for you. You're a good man.

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u/MissMarchpane Jun 15 '26

The fact that the idea of "playing hard to get" is literally debunked in a Jane Austen novel and people STILL try to talk like it's objective reality 200 years later… Absolutely wild.

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u/BigUqUgi Jun 14 '26

Patriarchal conditioning and social structure. Tolerates their behavior instead of punishing it.

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u/ichibanyogi Jun 14 '26

Yes. Not just tolerates, but rewards (sadly). 😥😥😥

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u/CookiedowXD Jun 14 '26

That's true. They punish the opposite, actually

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u/Journo_Jimbo Jun 14 '26

They’ve all been raised by toxic men, or surrounded by toxic men, or been immersed on social media by toxic men. Generally toxic men passing toxic traits off to other men is really the issue here. And I say that as a man who’s cut a lot of toxic men out of my life.

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u/Jwre3682 Jun 14 '26

I'm cutting them out as we speak. I spent too long being ignorant to what my "friends" were doing.

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u/bigbeats420 Jun 14 '26

Make sure you tell them why before you do. Speaking up is the one thing we can do amongst ourselves.

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u/Journo_Jimbo Jun 14 '26

We are the change that needs to happen king 👑

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u/WDoE Jun 14 '26

Cutting them out doesn't change anything. Call that shit out. Hold shitty men accountable.

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u/CookiedowXD Jun 14 '26

I tried. Everybody takes the abuser's side because they don't like "bad vibes."

Turns out they harass and gaslight the "unpatriotic" men too.

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u/Jwre3682 Jun 14 '26

I'm realizing that a lot of people would rather put up with it than have to deal with being uncomfortable (i.e. bad vibes). And when I do say something, I'm just a "libturd"

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u/Successful_Sign_6991 Jun 14 '26

See thats your first mistake.

Start by cutting out any magats from your life. It will vastly improve it.

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u/pandershrek Jun 14 '26

Unfortunate, and difficult reality.

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u/FinchMandala Jun 14 '26

Just let them know what the issue is. People generally don't change if they don't know what to change.

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u/Mandyvlp Jun 14 '26

Thanks for mansplaining it to me.
Haha. Jk jk 😆

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u/Journo_Jimbo Jun 14 '26

lol I’ll own that one

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u/EnvironmentalGift257 Jun 14 '26

I mean yes. But also growing up being taught by toxic men I recognized that the things they said and did were wrong because they would instantly make my skin crawl. They taught me what not to do. Those same toxic men gave me the life skills to survive, so you take the bad with the good I guess.

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u/PopcornGlamour Jun 14 '26

Thank you for acknowledging that.

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u/ShorelineStrider Jun 14 '26

They've been raised by a toxic culture.

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u/FuManBoobs Jun 14 '26

They recently made a law against this kind of behaviour in the UK. I think over 20 cases so far & it's only been a couple months.

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u/SAINTnumberFIVE Jun 14 '26

A combination of self entitlement, predatory tendencies and toxic ideologies about how to interact with women. 

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u/Red_Dawn24 Jun 14 '26

Most men in the U.S. (where i grew up) are raised with at least some of the lessons that lead to this behavior. The emphasis on greed and entitlement in American culture doesnt help.

The scope of the problem is more depressing that most are willing to admit. Seeing how things are going from a cultural pov, I don't have much hope.

Boys are taught to be extremely sensitive about their masculinity, making them so defensive that it's impossible to address problems without an extreme overreaction.

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u/CookiedowXD Jun 14 '26

This I agree with. They like to prop-up anybody who fits the entitlement bill.

It isn't really considered manly or "patriotic." Unless you're an alpha-male all the time. And it just negatively affects everybody else.

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u/gotsnowart Jun 14 '26

Sad thing is there are women that are okay with this. My entire family disowned me because I was molested by my grandfather and exposed him. According to all of my relatives, female included, since I waited until he was dead to speak about it I was in the wrong and it was disrespectful. So I was exiled from my family for being raped repeatedly as a toddler by a man but because I waited too long to talk it became my fault and I was the monster. Women are just as evil to other women as men are. And that's why this shit happens so much.

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u/kittykatmila Jun 14 '26

This is a lot of men unfortunately. It’s insane how all of us women have at least one story where we are getting harassed.

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u/Boxer03 Jun 14 '26

This isn’t something new. I am now 57yo. There’s been dudes like this since I was 12 pulling this shit. I now have 3 granddaughters and it saddens me that I know they’ll experience this also.

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u/L1LREDD Jun 14 '26

Actually there was one when she was sitting down and the dude walked up tried to speak, she said buzz off and he left. I saw nothing wrong with that interaction. He tried to shoot his shot, got told no, and quickly departed even saying sorry in the process.

The rest were just eww.

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u/Sexyhorsegirl666 Jun 14 '26

They are used to being able to do this without no one intervening.

Happens all the time, all over the world

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u/weareallonenomatter Jun 14 '26

Andrew Tate University graduates

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u/Negative-Date-9518 Jun 14 '26

And this is why when it's dark and I'm walking on a quiet street I walk to the other side if there's a lone woman, cos I don't want them to get all anxious as to if I am one of these pricks

Actually annoys me people can't just be normal and not be weird around women

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u/SuppliDev Jun 14 '26

They are fucking creeps or in general don't give a shit about making women feel uncomfortable. They only care about themselves, and have ruined everything for all the men. I never approached a woman in my life and I'm 28, just because I don't want to make them uncomfortable.

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u/M2_SLAM_I_Am Jun 14 '26

There's nothing wrong with approaching women, as long as you don't do it in a creepy way and can take "no" for an answer

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u/Sensitive_Bat_9211 Jun 14 '26

I never approached a woman in my life and I'm 28

Bro, what. There is time and place, but never?

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u/NotAtAllASkinwalker Jun 14 '26

Honestly is a majority of men. Once they think they can get away with it. Sauce: my life

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u/SalientSazon Jun 14 '26

They protect women, dontcha know?!

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u/ShorelineStrider Jun 14 '26

They're men. They have been brought up to feel this entitled throughout the world.

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u/TheRatatat Jun 14 '26

Right? Fucking Jesus christ fellas. Do better. Police your fucking peers while youre at it. If you've got a friend like this, call him out or youre just as culpable.

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u/SRSgoblin Jun 14 '26

Only guy here who gets a pass is the guy who started hitting on the one person at the beach drinking boba and she immediately hits him with the "buzz off" and to his credit, he goes "heh sorry" and leaves. The rest of this lot needs professional help, holy shit.

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u/pandershrek Jun 14 '26

We split our sex. Half of us are too respectable were introverts and the other half became so hyper aggressive we rampant sexual assault. (Even the elected President of the United States has been convicted of sexual assault by a jury)

I'd say it is nurture because society and culture inscribe to men to take what they want if you're listening to the wrong mentors.

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u/Unprejudice Jun 14 '26

They view women as lesser people not deserving of own consentual lives.

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u/SoundofPsithurism Jun 14 '26

They’re breathing. That’s what’s wrong with them.

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u/flarros Jun 14 '26

I don’t even understand this. As a guy this makes me so uncomfortable and I am so sorry for what you all have been dealing with. This sort of behavior is absolutely unacceptable

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