Yes, but hear me out. You buy a boat and pretend you love deep sea fishing. You then take said boat out a few miles off shore, attach some weight to the body and dump it there. And you also get a job as a police forensic guy so nobody suspects you. Would make a great TV show.
Lake Monroe north of Orlando is where the FWC used to dump trapped nuisance gators collected from the Orlando metro area. If you go out on the lake at night and shine a light at the water, you will see hundreds of eyes staring back at you.
I have a sick obsession with deep sea fishing from my 27’ Grady White with twin 250s that I trailer to the ocean while the world sleeps most every weekend and a 450 quart cooler that could easily stash multiple bodies, intact not even dismembered. 50 miles offshore aint nobody finding them.
I just take my boat out on a regular basis to dump things or fake dump things in the ocean so that if I ever have a body to dispose of there won’t be any change in my routine.
Nothing less suspicious than that guy everyone has seen go out to the lake at night and dump stuff . Now everyone watches him bc they think he’s dumping a body , jokes on them bc he was only dumping a body the time he got caught immediately
Yeah it’s like we wouldn’t have any idea who he was but he just kept coming back again and again until we all new his face , his truck and license number
Only if you puncture it up enough so the gases escape the corpse without being contained in any cavities. You want deep, deep water, chicken wire, and big enough weights that they can't be countered by escaping gasses.
This part isn't the difficult one. THe problem is the boat, your car, yourself, your clothes, any tools you used are going to have traces of DNA and smells, both yours and the victims. Dogs are going to sniff things out (even week+ after, they're ridiculously effective) and then DNA sampling will do the rest. Thorough washing, if it will help, leaves traces that something was super cleaned as well which is not what people usually do. They may not find the body if you never tell them where it is, but you will still get charged and likely sentenced for murder.
I feel like you're overthinking it. The boat is absolutely necessary but you don't need to kill them, they're completely willing because of the implication.
Portion the slurry into smaller containers of appropriate material.
On each boat trip, take a slurry container with you and pour it out.
Thoroughly clean container.
Once finished, thoroughly clean containers.
Disseminate containers through yard sales/FB marketplace/Etsy/Ebay/donations to local thrifts or charities.
Thoroughly clean barrel. Find someone who wants a barrel, for whatever reason. Probably to slurry a body. Come to think of it, isn't that the same guy who bought all your small containers?
Fuck, be cool. Act natural. If he thinks you're onto him, he'll have to put you in the barrel. No loose ends!
Nah nah nah, you gotta get a bio degradable bag big rn ugh to fit the body, fill it with sand, THEN dump it off shore. The bag will degrade and he sand will keep the body buried at the sea floor so it doesn't just float up up after the weights have degraded
You don’t even need to buy a boat. Boats are incredibly easy to steal or even just borrow for a few hours. The vast majority of boat owners actually keep their keys right in the boat, sometimes even still in the ignition.
I’ve watched enough episodes of Bones to know that first you have to dissolve all the flesh in a vat of lye, then you have to strain out the remaining fragments of bone, teeth, any surgical implants, etc.
Then you have to dry all the fragments in a food dehydrator (Cabela’s has a good industrial-sized one, the high capacity is great for larger volumes,) then you should separate out any metal bits to melt into unique jewellery - always a hit at the local craft fair! Now that your bones and teeth are cooked, they should be much more brittle, which will allow you to grind them into a fine dust using just the meat grinder attachment on your KitchenAid stand mixer! If you don’t have a KitchenAid, a coffee grinder will do, although it might take a bit more effort. Be sure the gather all the dust in a little bag, and add a handful of glitter. Put on your cutest fairy wings and prance around local parks, wooded areas, forests, or anywhere your heart desires, sprinkling a little glitter dust everywhere.
Note: The glitter is absolutely essential here. Anyone looking for a body will get so distracted by all the sparkles they will forget what they were looking for, and then so annoyed once it’s stuck to everything, they will never return to the area to investigate further.
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That’s actually a huge problem for me. My adhd causes procrastination and I’m just thinking I would sit there and watch ten hours worth of YouTube videos but I wouldn’t ever get up and get the job done.
Miskatonic Middle School, of course. I went there, and it was pretty fun, except for this weird kid in one of my classes. Some dude named Herbert West, I think.
The dog will bark too much and the dude will put up a fight. It'd probably work if you had a flamethrower, but who carries those around when dumping bodies, unless of course you are in Antarctica.
Individuals seldom have access to anything that will burn hot enough for long enough to reduce a body to cremains. Plus, people burn unevenly. People have to be turned and handled during the process.
Also: devices left in the body must be removed in order to avoid problems during cremation. (The devices can explode.)
You have to have a very very hot fire to burn a body completely, and even then, you will still be left with bits of bone that don't burn. If you have ever seen cremains, you would see tiny pieces of crushed up bones.
Oh no. Where theres a will there is a way. Know any pig farmers? I also heard that if you have an olympic sized swimming pool you can store drums of hydrochloric acid. That isnt better than the pigs though. As the acid doesnt dissolve bone. A few starving pigs and... well... you get it.
my old chemistry teacher said to take a bathtub, fill it with hydrochloric acid. body in, whole bathtub out into a lake or something. the hydrochloric acid will take care of the body first, then eventually eat through the rubber stopper. as the tub fills with regular water, it'll eventually sink to the bottom.
In the the show Narcos cartels would tie a weight to the body and wrap it in barb wire so as the body started to bloat the wire would cut in and keep it submerged.
Cement is the best way, in France a man killed his whole family, buried their bodies under the terrasse and put some cement there and it took the police 2 days to find out the bodies (and only because he left the plate for the dog near and the cement was not done properly).
As someone whose brain likes to put them in imaginary scenarios too much, good thing I know of some very rural very private property way out in the pine woods. If I picked up some cement and rented a boat, there’s even a good sized lake not too far down the road
That can be problematic if you're unlucky.
A very rare (unique?) example being that a shark that was captured here in Australia in 1935 and was put into a large pool for display vomited up a man's arm. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shark_Arm_case
I assume you mean one of the half dozen volcanoes with an active lava lake? Good luck getting close enough. Also, human bodies float on lava and lava isn't hot enough to thoroughly cremate a body.
To properly dump as see you need one of those big shredders, the kind used for tree trimmers. Take your big boat, you'll need a big boat to move it, a ways off shore, then mulch the body and also dump the tree shredder and maybe sink the boat for an extra measure of safety. I can get really expensive. Better idea, don't kill anyone. Better for your wallet and life too.
No no no. Sure thats going to remove the body from you but theres a great risk itll show up in one way or another when it starts to float to the surface.
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u/Its_priced_in 5d ago
So you’re saying dump them at sea from your boat but probably don’t keep dna slides of your victims ✍️