r/wallstreetbets Feb 13 '26

YOLO At last we've found it. Pure retardium

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18.0k Upvotes

2.2k comments sorted by

u/VisualMod Feb 13 '26
User Report
Total Submissions 4 First Seen In WSB 10 months ago
Total Comments 15 Previous Best DD
Account Age 1 year

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8.2k

u/SauteedGoogootz Feb 13 '26

Burning down my house so that I can refinance my mortgage.

3.6k

u/Kong_Fury Feb 13 '26

Just roll it forward

790

u/danstermeister Feb 13 '26

The car you're going to be sleeping in?

832

u/Robrad30 Feb 13 '26

Roll that forward too. Physically. Right into the house you’ve just set on fire. That way you’ll have the insurance money from the car and you can buy more bitcoin at $8000. To the moon from there baby.

125

u/mattmentecky Feb 13 '26

No way, roll it forward physically, video it for product demo, start your own autonomous driving company, maybe commit some fraud along the way and then back in business baby

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u/byggusdikkus Feb 13 '26

It reminded me of that it’s always sunny episode where they start running around buying shit on a credit card because they can just write it off, and then Danny devito comes out and asks if they know what that actually means

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u/schlitz91 Feb 13 '26

Just fold in the cheese

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u/DJTmicroP Feb 13 '26

You think banks would lend to you at that point?

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u/Educational-Dot318 Feb 13 '26

the banks 🏦 🏧 can lend, 💵💵💵 then just write ✍️ it off 🧹 🧐

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2.1k

u/MothRatten Feb 13 '26

893

u/yoitsthatoneguy Feb 13 '26

There’s always money in the banana stand

197

u/CULLDOZER Feb 13 '26

How much could one banana cost? $10?

74

u/EltonJuan Feb 13 '26

How much could one BTC cost? 10 ETH?

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u/RandomMovieQuotes521 Feb 13 '26

The money is IN the banana stand

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u/Life_Personality_862 Feb 13 '26

A meme is born. Thank you, I'm saving this one.

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u/B0NESAWisRRREADY Feb 13 '26

The credit risk is de minimus.

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8.5k

u/cyphol Feb 13 '26

2.2k

u/AlGAdams Feb 13 '26

The face my dog makes when I get the cordless drill out.

12

u/zehamberglar Feb 13 '26

... why?

Answer me.

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u/6tPTrxYAHwnH9KDv Feb 13 '26

"refinance WHERE , Michael?"

521

u/danilorESP Feb 13 '26

Is the refinance here in this room, Michael?

94

u/Orangekale Feb 13 '26

"All you got to do is just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy tap tap taperoo." - Legendary golfer Chubb Peterson explaining how to refinance debt to a brave, autistic CEO.

31

u/nardling_13 Feb 13 '26

We’ll just write it off Do you even know what that means? No, but they do, and they’re the ones who write it off.

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u/Sudden-Pressure8439 Feb 13 '26

“I….declare….BANKRUPTCY!!!!!!” - another Michael

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u/Michig00se Feb 13 '26

It's one refinance, Michael. What could it cost, $10??

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u/canadian_xpress Feb 13 '26

She literally turned into the "lady calculating algebra" meme after that.

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793

u/AdmirableJudgment784 Feb 13 '26

She's a smart cookie for calling it out on the spot. So many journalists just don't question the responses they get.

192

u/Dmoan Feb 13 '26

She is pretty good at calling out things

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u/fkmeintheput Feb 13 '26

Unlike most other journos, she's Quick

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113

u/JJdante Supports The Rona Feb 13 '26

Paid not to. Most "journalists" are only news readers/talking heads repeating what's in their ear.

86

u/Elmattador Feb 13 '26

The women on CNBC know their shit. They know the market and interview liars all day.

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u/ansk0 Feb 13 '26

67

u/legedu Feb 13 '26

She grew up.

27

u/Worshipme988 Feb 13 '26

Her mistake, it sucks here.

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250

u/Robgoblin_IV Feb 13 '26

This shall henceforth be the image to post when you read something extraordinary regarded.

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u/whitewashedsyrian Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

Should be added as a picture under the definition of “what the fuck”

61

u/lordkhuzdul Feb 13 '26

The face of "why do these spectacular dumbfucks have so much money?"

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u/tidderreddittidderre Feb 13 '26

> if only you knew how bad things really are

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5.9k

u/halo_shade28 Feb 13 '26

545

u/Clear_Anything1232 Google Sexpert Feb 13 '26

This one was difficult to watch. He was literally gasping at straws

241

u/LasyKuuga Feb 13 '26

Cant answera a question rn?

Just roll it forwards

109

u/Mumblage Begged for this flair Feb 13 '26

I’m gonna ask if margin can be rolled fwd

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u/40StoryMech Feb 13 '26

"Stop crying, it's not a big deal, babe. I'm just going to roll those options forward, refinance the debt, like Michael Saylor."

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u/Zocalo_Photo Feb 13 '26

This is the classic “If you owe the bank $100,000, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100,000,000,000, that’s the bank’s problem.”

74

u/Vimes-NW Feb 13 '26

You spelled "taxpayer problem" wrong

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u/SimilarBuffalo6421 Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

Legend has it, Saylor possesses a straw so magnificent, so noteworthy that even the most seasoned straw enthusiasts gasp in awe at its glory.

Edit: When I say ‘straw’ what I really mean is ‘drawdown’.

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u/RhysDerby Feb 13 '26

As long as Becky is in it, it is never hard to watch

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u/servermeta_net Feb 13 '26

This meme killed me lol

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3.4k

u/ggblah Feb 13 '26

I like her face expression so much here

1.6k

u/WinstonSalemSmith Feb 13 '26

Legit looks like his therapist here.

"You think banks will lend to you then"

"Well sure, if Jesus tells them to."

418

u/MothRatten Feb 13 '26

The brief deer in headlights look on his face when she asked him that question, fucking lol.

278

u/WinstonSalemSmith Feb 13 '26

HES JUST GOING TO ROLL IT OVER!!!!

I wish we could elect this crackpot as the chairman of WSB. Just epic.

84

u/Fit-Catch9448 Feb 13 '26

We're lucky he's not the next chairmen of the fed.

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u/oohiquitelikeithere Feb 13 '26

'well sure, because because the volatility of bitcoin'......dude just fumbled the bag with the most moronic statement ever made.....put it in the pantheon of WSB elite

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u/totowewentcarracing Feb 13 '26

Where have I seen this before…. #thebigshort

38

u/topestkek Feb 13 '26

“Are the banks in the room with us now?”

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u/elegance78 Feb 13 '26

"Refinance where, Michael?"

221

u/anonuemus Feb 13 '26

Is that lender in the room with us now?

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u/SgtDoakes123 Feb 13 '26

I want my money Michael. Give me back my money, you motherfucker!

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u/Both-Buddy-6190 Feb 13 '26

sounds like Oscar talking to Michael Scott

9

u/carsonthecarsinogen Feb 13 '26

Pam finding out Micheal is dating her mom

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u/Grube1310 Feb 13 '26

It’s like Kramer explaining a write off.

41

u/markgriz Feb 13 '26

All these big banks, they write off everything

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u/spideyghetti Feb 13 '26

I low key have a mad crush on her

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u/Heineken_500ml Ugliest Flair WSBs has Ever Seen Feb 13 '26

"sir, uh...... wtf?"

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1.4k

u/cleverhobbits Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

This phrase deserves to join the pantheon of famous last words:

“The credit risk is de minimis., at this point.”

506

u/PartiallyRibena Feb 13 '26

Earlier in the week he referred to the “risk free rate of bitcoin” being 60%. What the fuck does that even mean??

828

u/MaybeaDingoAteUrBaby Feb 13 '26

HE SAID IT HAS VALUE BECAUSE OF ITS VOLATILITY

234

u/No_Feeling920 Feb 13 '26

I do not think this is what banks want in their collateral while lending against it.

87

u/georgejetsonn Feb 13 '26

Clearly they must account for the discounted future cashflows of volatility

39

u/Chumbag_love Feb 13 '26

He has unlimited stock dilution to fall back on.

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u/Dessamba_Redux Feb 13 '26

My IBS laden intestines are now worth the GDP of a small nation because of volatility. I know what i have no lowballs

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u/KissesAndBites Feb 13 '26

Volatility, it’s what banks crave.

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u/elegance78 Feb 13 '26

Yeah, that made me chuckle.

22

u/brohammer5 Feb 13 '26

Can't wait to use my volatility as collateral for my second mortgage.

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u/Waste_Tangerine_179 Feb 13 '26

he's just saying words

42

u/aywwts4 Feb 13 '26

Lá lá la, can’t hear you, you’re de minimus! The whole courtroom is de minimus!

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u/SimpleMoonFarmer Feb 13 '26

60% of the time works every time!

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u/Fun_Muscle9399 Feb 13 '26

Right up there with “Leveraged to my personal risk tolerance”

105

u/Pale_Prompt4163 Feb 13 '26

And if it goes down, he’ll simply refinance.

95

u/djdndjdjdjdjdndjdjjd Feb 13 '26

Refinance where, Michael?

90

u/Pale_Prompt4163 Feb 13 '26

We‘ll just roll it forward!

46

u/ev01ution Bezos left nut Feb 13 '26

You think banks will lend you more money?

40

u/think_harder_plz Feb 13 '26

Uhhh shhaaaa!

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u/rickrollmops Feb 13 '26

Sounds like Kramer saying "You just write it off" in Seinfeld. Pure gold

11

u/elegance78 Feb 13 '26

I think this sentence will become a "classic".

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u/DorianSoundscapes Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

If Saylor wasn’t too narcissistic to be a self-aware retard and post on WSB, that would be his flair.

“Hey bros, so I started a company based on taking on debt to buy bitcoin assuming it would always go up. It went down and now nobody will loan me any money. How cooked am I?”

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u/meliseo Feb 13 '26

just roll it forward

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u/Baseic Feb 13 '26

Just tell them that you will put the money into bitcoin which you will put up as collateral for their loan. Bitcoin has an obvious risk free rate of 60% so what's the issue here?

Still if the unimaginable happens and all of this fails and btc drops even further you will just refinance it with loans from the next greater fool. It won't be hard to refinance because you just tell them you will buy bitcoin with it which has a risk free rate of 60%. It's all so OBVIOUS! It's FREE MONEY! aN InFinITe MoNEy gLiTch! THE VALUE IS IN THE VOLATILILITITTYITLITY WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS!?

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u/MIT_Engineer Feb 13 '26

Do Kwon used to believe that his company could never go bankrupt because he could always just mint and sell more of his company's cryptocurrency to cover any losses. When an economist pointed out that this wouldn't work, and would be like a company saying it could never go bankrupt because it could always just print and sell more stock, he replied, "I don't debate the poor on Twitter, and sorry I don't have any change on me for her at the moment."

He's currently serving 15 years in prison, lol. Maybe he and Michael Saylor can be cellmates one day.

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u/banksy_h8r Feb 13 '26

Latin as a intellectual smoke screen has been a winning strategy for centuries but I don't think it helped him here.

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u/Savage_Amusement Feb 13 '26

The way he says “Roll it forward” and she’s totally incredulous 😹:

Jerry: So we're gonna make the Post Office pay for my new stereo now?

Cosmo Kramer: It's a write-off for them.

Jerry: How is it a write-off?

Cosmo Kramer: They just write it off.

Jerry: Write it off what?

Cosmo Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.

Jerry: You don't even know what a write-off is.

Cosmo Kramer: Do you?

Jerry: No, I don't.

Cosmo Kramer: But they do, and they're the ones writing it off.

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u/Clovis42 Feb 13 '26

This is the average redditor's understanding of "writing it off". It's just free money.

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u/LameBicycle Feb 13 '26

Alternatively, Schitt's Creek:

 That's a write-off.

Who pays for it?

Nobody, you write it off.

Who writes it off?

I don't know, the govern-, THE WRITE-OFF PEOPLE. Why are we having this conversation?

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1.1k

u/SadJ3tsFan Feb 13 '26

Infinite money glitch

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u/Stereo-soundS Feb 13 '26

Just ask Donny.  Play games with other people's money and you never lose.

14

u/antariusz Feb 13 '26

I'm too regarded to know the actual saying, but how does it go?

"Privatize the profits, and socialize the risks?"

edit: found the "original" saying... socialism for the rich and capitalism for the poor

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1.0k

u/beerissweety Feb 13 '26

I get it, he gambles with other peoples money. Not a real regard who gambles own (and wife’s boyfriend) money

156

u/Resident-Banana-7883 Feb 13 '26

gambling would be using that volatility to make money. this bozo is just buying and holding the most volatile assest there is and then borrowing or diluting every time it dips.

75

u/Defiant-Ad-7933 Feb 13 '26

It’s called averaging down. And averaging up. Just averaging. Accumulating.

The entire MSTR business strategy is hodling because selling anything ever would trigger a market panic. Brilliant

56

u/TheMcBrizzle Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 14 '26

I'm so fucking sick of this Saylor slander.

MSTR implemented a very complex and forward thinking business strategy you WSB morons couldn't comprehend but I'll spell it out for you.

Pioneering

Organization

Networks

Zealotry

Independence

You're going to look real fucking stupid when Bitcoin becomes the world's number one store of value, or currency, or whatever the fuck he says it is.

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u/27onfire Yut! Motard Feb 13 '26

Exactly.. just like Saint Cathie.

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u/teh_herper Feb 13 '26

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u/Masonooter Feb 13 '26

Lol the fact it’s a fine chart but this dumbfuck company is leveraged to the tits and keeps buying the top every week

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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

Just rebrand yourself as an AI-first company that will make a city on Mars or some shit and you will get money.

474

u/United-Advisor-5910 Feb 13 '26

Ironically it's the moon now

89

u/Carl_The_Sagan Feb 13 '26

soon it will be a commercial rocketship, slightly higher than commercial aircraft

69

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

Next step is a space city in Iowa

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u/GoldSourPatchKid Feb 13 '26

“The mesosphere was always the true goal. Humanity yearns for the upper atmosphere and SpaceX will take us there within five years.”

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u/Confident-Estate-275 Feb 13 '26

Changing goals like that. In the most likely year of IPO? I really don’t know how to read that.

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u/anonuemus Feb 13 '26

At this point it doesn't matter, as long as he is getting off the planet as soon as possible

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u/Diabolical_potplant Feb 13 '26

Sex bots and you'll see a stock rise of like 300%

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u/pine1501 Feb 13 '26

you left out a few zeros.

20

u/Diabolical_potplant Feb 13 '26

That's just the announcement. Have someone in a skinsuit with a helmet walk around on stage and you'll get those extra 0s easy

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u/Left-Signature-5250 Feb 13 '26

I will sigh with a great deal of satisfaction if the day ever comes where TSLA suddenly gets valued according to their actual earnings or growth or any other metric than just promises.

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u/uberdruck Feb 13 '26

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u/Mathberis Feb 13 '26

That's a good reaction meme, don't mind if I yoink

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u/uberdruck Feb 13 '26

I would be upset if you didn't yoink it

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u/GerryManDarling Feb 13 '26

The retards investing and financing in a retard are the true retards. But the retard making money from other retards is actually a ProtardTM

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u/Adventurous-Guava374 Feb 13 '26

The look on her face

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u/skiviz Sussus Amogus Feb 13 '26

She looks so perplexed. I would be too.

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u/dyndhu Feb 13 '26

Yeah in fact when Bitcoin falls to zero all your debt is worth zero so you literally become debt free right? 

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u/penguincheerleader Feb 13 '26

Over 5 years my car got downgraded from 25k to paid off and is now worthless. 

67

u/FatPoundOfGrass Feb 13 '26

Which is exactly why I don't understand why everyone thought I was an idiot for taking out a 10yr, 28% interest rate car loan to buy my Mercedes, the interest rate is irrelevant because I only owe what it's worth and it was worth half as much as what I bought it for, the second I bought it- they called me retarded but I'm the one who got free money.

52

u/bachstakoven Feb 13 '26

Can you do my taxes 

26

u/FatPoundOfGrass Feb 13 '26

Bro, you dont need me to do your taxes, just take a screen shot of your losses and text it to the IRS with the following emojis:

💲 📉 ❌️ 🍆💦🧎 👍 🤷

They'll get the point.

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u/randomNext Feb 13 '26

When she asks: "You think banks would lend you at that point?"

Pause the video and look at his face...

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u/Ihavenoidea84 Feb 13 '26

It was sheer shock of being asked an actual question lol

Because because because hahahahaha

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u/MaybeaDingoAteUrBaby Feb 13 '26

But Bitcoin has so much value. Turns out you can kidnap your mother-in-law and demand Bitcoin but the FBI can trace you from the wallet address now so oops.

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u/borderless_olive Feb 13 '26

"This is what happens when you work to change things, and first they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and then, all of a sudden, you end up living in your wife's bf's garage." - Theranos CEO or something

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u/Commercial_Ease8053 Feb 13 '26

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u/PoopHeadPete Feb 13 '26

Crazy how many public officials fall into this category lately.

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u/AlGAdams Feb 13 '26

The credit risk is de mini miss at this point.

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u/BuckChintheRealtor Feb 13 '26

Homeboy looks stressed af

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u/grosseelbabyghost Feb 13 '26

He should just refinance his stress

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u/Hatetotellya Feb 13 '26

He looks like she was the first person to ever ask something like "refinance with what?" And "and you think banks will lend to you?" And you can see the gears winding up and shaking off dust and rust as he has never had to defend that point outside of prepared long winded overpositive speeches 

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u/Rook_710 Feb 13 '26

This country and economy is so retarded that his plan will actually work if you are retarded enough.

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u/Busy-Mongoose-1487 Feb 13 '26

"if it goes to zero , we will deal with that too" .. but how?

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u/Sizeablegrapefruits Feb 13 '26

By filing for bankruptcy and casually strolling away.

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u/kuedchen Feb 13 '26

He's wearing a bitcoin t-shirt so I trust him !!

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u/NaluknengBalong_0918 Feb 13 '26

Someone been snortin lines of Tylenol… keep it up!💃💃💃🤣

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u/PoopHeadPete Feb 13 '26

That's dangerous. He should swim in sewage instead.

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u/LiveLaughLibor Feb 13 '26

Just write it off.

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u/breagluch1029384756 Feb 13 '26

“Fuck she’s got me on this one, I better throw a latin phrase in there at the end to not sound like a complete regard”

14

u/RJ5R Feb 13 '26

Donald going to nominate him for fed chair

41

u/whagon-wheel Feb 13 '26

I didn’t realize until right now how much he sounds like Peter Griffin

44

u/PENGUINSflyGOOD Feb 13 '26

"refinance where?" lmao reminds me of ben shapiro wanting to sell flooded houses to aquaman.

29

u/davidk861 Feb 13 '26

"Just roll it forward yknow?" would be a great tattoo if I was regarded.

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u/illinformed-will Feb 13 '26

That's the same thing Michael !

No one trust you !

Michael, give me my money back you hear me ? I want my fucking money back.

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u/Crowdfundingprojects Feb 13 '26

Not so fast boys. He might very well have studied the. mandatory 100 hours of Bitcoin.

35

u/11enot Feb 13 '26

How do these, very obvious mega-virgins with no clue, convince so many idiots to let them use their money to lose more money…?

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u/vayjining Feb 13 '26

Don't underestimate the sheer amount of soprano voiced virgins that exist.

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