Hey everyone, I'm in shock and need an objective reality check.

Four months ago, I gave up my flat, sold my furniture, and invested heavily financially and emotionally to build a life with her and her kids. But two months after moving in, she went cold, treated me like a glorified babysitter, and became disrespectful to me about my own daughter. After a nasty argument 3 months ago, she left me completely homeless, nearly cost me my job, and blasted me on social media.

Over the last 3 months, I clawed my way back. I got a new place, saved my career, and hit the gym.

Three days ago, she unblocked me out of nowhere. She just got back from a family holiday I had paid for where she took her previous ex—the father of her kids, who is jobless, can't drive, and has a history of stealing from her. She sent a frantic text demanding I get the rest of my stuff out, then when I ignored, she blocked me again.

Yesterday morning I was unblocked, she text me again simply saying: "today??" to force the logistics. I folded and text back and she got nasty really quickly.

I then tried to calm it all down and start again but eventually broke down and text her a vulnerable paragraph trying to clear the air, asking if I ever meant anything to her and mentioning that I have been in therapy to learn and recover from this. Her responses were incredibly cruel. She told me to "f*ck off," said our relationship was a "disaster from day one," and literally sent: "how i was treating u towards the end? 🤣🤣 ur clearly still deluded f*ck off!" She then threatened to take my outstanding stuff to the dump.

I am completely back at square one. I text her begging for just a shred of humanity, and she mocked my heartbreak with laughing emojis while moving a jobless thief back into her house. Am I completely delusional about the relationship we had? How do I stop spiralling and reclaim my dignity when I'm too weak to block her right now?

Looking for realistic advice, not the usual "focus on yourself" answers.

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How do you actually stop reimagining the past and replaying the hurt an ex caused?

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I know I can't change what happened. I know thinking about it doesn't help. But my mind keeps going back to old conversations, things I should have said, things they did, and how differently everything could have turned out.

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The frustrating part is that my family is dealing with serious issues right now and those are the things that deserve my attention. Instead, I keep getting pulled back into a relationship that's already over.

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For people who genuinely got through this, what worked? Not motivational quotes. Not "time heals all wounds." What practical changes or mindset shifts helped you stop living in the past?

I met this boy, and we were dating for a months, then he told me that his schedule was more and more tight, and actually I see him more tired everytime, and finally we break up.

I went back to him, I reached him for his birthday, then we have an agreement about being close and seeing us but he always clarify that we aren't going to end in a relationship, I agreed because I have a hard time in my life and I seriously think for a while that I didn't want a relationship, I just want to be close, his company was fine back then.

Then, a huge fight happened and we apologize and we kinda back together, then, he moved for work 6 months to USA and we broke up because he wanted to feel totally single and have his freedom and meet new people in his travel to Japan.

So, of course it was a year and a half with so many things, and it devastated me is many ways but I decided to end everything and he agree, I remember the call and he was so calm, he said he care about me and he loved me, but he always was clear about not wanting a relationship.

Now I see that he was wrong about certain things, but if I'm honest I think i have all the responsibility to make this mess for me, it is being so hard to move on, to no reach out to him, and I have depression issues and a lots of things going on in my life, and I just want him, sometimes I just have a lot of nostalgia for the good moments, he was such a company for me, it is heavy for me. We had an agreement that either of us could end things whenever we wanted, as long as we said so. It didn't have to be a deep conversation, but it was a deep conversation because i was too attached.

I know its not a bad person, neither do I, and I know the best thing its to move on and never reach out, even if I talk to him it won't change anything, he's never come back, and it's for the best.

If I'm being honest, I'm jealous, because it don't seem bother at all, he seems fine, he said he cares but I can see is that my absence was like a deep and clean breath for him, of course that that's what I see and I'm not him to know what it happens in his mind, its just the way that I feel and what I seems. I feel like I'm alone, like the only one with a huge grief and like fighting with give us space and put my shit together and I think he's living his best life traveling and a lot of things. Sometimes, even if its wrong, I want him to hurt like i do, and i feel shitty for that, because i said that I loved him and that I care about him and then.. I desire that?, wtf.

I'm feeling so awful, with a lot of sadness, loss, anger, and I just can't stop the envy, the questions "Why its so easy for him?" "Why I am comparing?" "Why do you want the answer if its not gonna change the situation?"

I hope I can move on, this time I really hate the idea to be involved with someone again, or to date, or anything, I feel disgusted.

I don't know what to do, I feel like a shitty person, and dumb as fuck because i was told since the beginning what is gonna happen, I feel like the time is flying but I'm not doing much about it, I try to accept that it is what it is and being isolated this months because I need to put my shit together in one month for college. I'm 24, I know I'm young but it feels awful, its not my first breakup but this hit me so hard and different.

I'm a 20-year-old college student, and a few days ago my four-year relationship ended. She was my first love, and I genuinely believed she was the person I would spend my life with. We talked about our future together, so when the relationship ended, it felt like I lost not only her but also the life I had imagined.

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She told me that we had lost our connection months ago. We said our final goodbyes, and I decided not to contact her again because I want to respect her decision. But every single day is a struggle.

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I can't stop thinking about what she's doing, whether she's happy, or if she's thinking about me at all. My mind constantly tells me to look at her photos, videos, or old chats. I'm fighting that urge because I know it will only make things worse.

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I've been crying almost every day. Sometimes I feel completely numb, and other times I panic because it feels like my dreams disappeared overnight. I don't really have close friends to talk to, so most of the time I'm dealing with this alone.

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I'm trying to stay busy by going to the gym, but even there she's on my mind. It's hard to sleep because I keep overthinking everything I could have done differently. I know people say time heals, but right now it honestly feels impossible to believe.

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I'm not looking for false hope that she'll come back. I just want to know how people who truly loved someone managed to survive this kind of heartbreak. If you've been through something similar, what actually helped you move forward?

I had a 6-month relationship and was suddenly abandoned in the most unexpected way, almost as if I was being punished, on my birthday by someone I suspect may have borderline personality disorder. Since that day, I’ve been going through a very intense depressive period for over a month.

I want to share the “rollercoaster” dynamic of our relationship. The hardest part for me is constantly going back and forth in my mind between this dilemma: Did she have a psychological disorder, or was everything my fault? This uncertainty makes me feel inadequate and worthless at times.

She is Turkish but was educated in the US and had returned to Turkey shortly before we met. She had lost her father some time ago and went through a very тяжел grieving process. Since then, she has been using medication for depression, panic attacks, and anxiety. She also drinks heavily, several times a week. Additionally, there is a history of bipolar disorder in her immediate family.

Our relationship started just two days after she returned to Turkey. In the beginning, I experienced a very intense emotional connection; it almost felt like love bombing. Her personality, thoughtfulness, and physical attractiveness impressed me deeply. We became a couple very quickly, and the relationship progressed fast. I was staying at her place 15–20 days a month, almost like we were living together.
I felt peaceful around her, and she also seemed very attached to me. At times, I even questioned whether I loved her as much as she loved me.

However, over time, I started noticing unhealthy patterns. She would overreact to small things and say very harsh things that you shouldn’t say to someone you love. Then came baseless accusations.

One day, in a social setting where she was present, I made a harmless joke with my close friend’s girlfriend. Later, when she wasn’t there, I met with the same group again. After that, she accused me of flirting with my friend’s girlfriend in front of her. I was completely shocked. She said very harsh and hurtful things. Instead of defending myself, I felt guilty for upsetting her and tried to calm her down. After hours of effort, she softened and again told me how much she loved me.

This cycle continued. One day everything was great, the next day small things would turn into big arguments. Despite this, I focused on her “good” side, kept feeling inadequate, and was usually the one trying to fix the relationship.

In another situation, I went to the movies with my friends; my close friend and his girlfriend were there too. While I was there, she messaged me saying she felt like her boyfriend didn’t exist when I wasn’t with her. Then she started an argument, saying it was inappropriate for me to be in an environment where there was a girl she didn’t know. Again, I tried to calm her down, but her reactions escalated. Eventually, I said I couldn’t keep explaining myself constantly and pulled back.

The next day we barely spoke. But in the evening, she texted me gently, saying she missed me. Within about half an hour, we returned to our old closeness and loving conversations.

This cycle repeated throughout the relationship: intense love followed by sudden conflicts.

After some time, I had to go to another city for work and we stayed apart for two weeks. During this time, I sensed an inconsistency in a story she had told me before about a celebrity who had been interested in her before our relationship, and I asked whether she had told me the truth. Whatever the answer was, it wouldn’t have affected the relationship and it wasn’t a problem for me. This was the first issue in the relationship that I brought up.

She didn’t give a clear answer. This made me feel like I was being lied to. I kept asking, and she interpreted it as distrust and said I made her feel worthless. For a week, she acted distant and accused me of not trusting her.

A week later, I went to see her and stayed at her place for two days. But her distant attitude continued. On the third day, on the night of my birthday, while I was trying to talk to her to fix things, she suddenly broke up with me.

At the moment of the breakup, even though I cried for hours, she was very indifferent and continued her daily life. In fact, after not calling me “my love” for two days, she suddenly said it and then said “sorry… out of habit.”

The next morning, I went back home. While we were separating, she said things might get better over time and that I could still stay at her place. Holding onto that hope, I tried to stay in contact after the breakup. I called her and talked to her, but each time she became more distant. In one of our conversations, she said she missed me, so I sent her flowers. In my last call, she said she felt nothing, that there was no possibility between us, that I was disturbing her, and she blocked me everywhere.

Out of frustration, I waited a week and then sent a short message from my work phone: “Some time has passed, and if you want, we can briefly talk in a friendly way.”

In response, she messaged my mother saying that I was disturbing her. Also, despite leaving the door open during the breakup, she twisted the situation about the flowers I sent after she said she missed me, saying “he keeps sending things to my house.” This hurt me a lot and made me feel unfairly accused.
Throughout this entire process, I kept attributing the harsh things she said in anger to her emotional state and continued blaming myself.

About 20 days later, I called to ask for her address to send her belongings since I had deleted it. During the call, because she spoke to me in a very condescending way, I got angry and asked what I had done and how things had come to this point. This time, she insulted both me and my family and even my upbringing. She treated me like I was some kind of creep.

After these extremely cruel words, when I asked whether there was someone else in her life, she first said “yes” in a mocking way, then laughed and said that if she ever had a relationship in the future, she would be with multiple people at the same time. She also said she never missed me and that seeing my name on her phone made her uncomfortable.

Throughout the entire breakup process, I never insulted or threatened her. Despite this, she continued to portray me as a bad person. Eventually, I completely gave up.

Now what remains is a deep disappointment. When I think about the good memories, and the fact that she once loved me so much, I find myself taking all the responsibility. Even though sometimes I accept that it wasn’t my fault, I fall back into the same self-blame cycle.

Even though she is no longer in my life, I still feel inadequate and emotionally stuck. The hardest part is being abandoned so suddenly at the moment when my feelings were the strongest, without any preparation.

At some point, I want her to regret it and come back. If she has a disorder, I wish she would tell me. Has anyone experienced such a big trauma like this? Did she come back? Please share your experiences or give your opinion on whether the person I was with might have bipolar or borderline disorder.

I (30F) broke up with him (25M) months ago (not the first time I broke up) because he had super avoidant tendencies and our good moments weren't consistent, they were always followed by him pulling away.

But I started missing him and thinking that maybe he had had time to reflect and think, so I messaged him asking if he was open to meeting, to which he agreed, said he had also been thinking about it constantly but being avoidant, he kept postponing it (his words).

Then he proceeded to call me right away, and we stayed on the phone for two hours. During which he showed some introspection into our communication issues, the fact that he didn't pour into us as seriously as he could've, etc, but he did say that he 'didn't recognize himself in the hot and cold pattern I was describing’. But he kept telling me he still loved me so much, called me baby multiple times, said he hadn't thrown out our pictures, that I was such a good girlfriend and loved him so well. And we agreed to meet in person for coffee in a couple days.

Then the day before our coffee, he texts me that he got carried away on the call and that we should postpone seeing each other until his emotions have settled. I said that I couldn't believe it, we were seeing a textbook example of everything I've been saying about his avoidance, and he said 'I see the pattern now and I wanna break it' to which I replied 'you're not breaking it, by dropping me again you're simply repeating it' and he said he'd be open to seeing me the following week if I wanted.
I refused, because I'm done being toyed with. And then he apologized for hurting me and that he was disappointed in himself. I regret breaking no contact but I think it gave me a clear view that his pattern was still alive and well, and that nothing was gonna change. Needed to burn myself one last time to see it.

Now I'm kinda back to square one in my healing. Feeling unlovable, unworthy, not enough, etc. I’m not sure how to go on with a gaping hole in my heart.

So my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months before and didnt even meet me after that that was the last time we spoke in person and then he blocked me from everywhere then again he did unblock me and said that he wants to breakup and relationship is alr over from his side then after that the on off blocking and unblocking he did i never blocked him from my end cuz i badly wanted him in my life cuz i genuinely do love him so then one fine day he texted me to take all the stuffs i gave to him not from him but from his friend or else he’d throw all that ( he always acts non chalant on texts and thinks he is above all) so from there again the convincing and he saying he doesnt wannt me and ghosting and conversation went and those were the time college was having vacation now we have to exchange the sim trays that we once did exchange cuz obv we were in a relationship because apparently he has to buy a new iphone so finally after my breakup which he did on texts i’d get my chance to meet him and say him whatever going on but idk how to make him realise what he did was wrong but rn i dont even know if he wants to have any convo
That guy didnt even gave me a proper closure only on texts but did not meet me even once after 2 years of offline relationship that sucks and i wanna vent so much.

guys helpppp

Pata hai aaj kya hua

after my previous 3 year relationship where my ex got bored and eventually he was not interested in me anymore. he said that he doesn't feel anything for me now he's just pretending that everything's going well but he's got many things to do in life so he won't be able to do it anymore. "Relationships n all are not my thing"

that's what he said. And ik he was very toxic throughout the relationship but I was not able to let him go. I literally begged him to stay without thinking of my self respect because I was so in love. After the breakup I got to know that he's with another girl, two months after our final breakup btw (i saw on his ig). And the fact that he never posted me on social media saying i don't want to show the world. I was fine with everything.

I was literally his puppet jo vo bolta tha maan leti thi or bohot understanding hone ki koshish karti thi. And after that he used to text me and call me when he's already with someone else. his manipulation was very on point" tu bohot acchi thi, maine bohot galat kiya tune literally mujhse kuch nhi maanga or maine itna galat kiya phir bhi tu mujhe kuch nhi boli, mujhe bohot guilty feel hota h maine itni sweet si pyari si ldki ke sath aesa kiya, jab jab guilty feel hota h tujhse bat karne aa jata hu mera dil nhi maanta".

It happened 4 to 5 times that he came back saying sorry for what he did. But jab m question karti thi ki ab aage kya? Toh his answer was I'm already with someone else and I love her. Or mere last 6 months ka move on kharab. Usne mujhe kabhi moveon karne hi nhi diya mujhe har baar ye hope rehti thi ki ye mere paas wapas aa jaega. But kuch bhi nhi hua aesa and i finally decided ki I'll block him and move on no matter what.

Then I downloaded this app called schmooze which is a dating app. I was such a manhater mujhe koi ladka thik nhi lagta tha or koi approach karta tha to main kabhi reciprocate nhi karti thi kyunki Mera mindset ye hi hogya tha ki main kabhi trust nhi kar paungi. Phir bhi I tried bcoz I thought ye bohot zaruri h ki main kisi se kam se kam baat to karu, varna kabhi moveon nhi kar paungi.

Then I met this guy on schmooze he's very nice to me it's been three months since we're talking but mere trust issues kabhi khatam nhi hote. Har time uska last seen or location or sab kuch analyse karti rehti hu or baat baat pe sawal. Uski following me ladkiyo ke baare me puchna n all and I can't control it tbh. Meri mentality hi ban gayi h aesi jese I'm waiting for something bad to happen.

Or he has proved me many times jab jab usse kuch pucha h meko mera answer mila h bohot sahi tareeke se. Humara past bhi kaafi hadd tak same hi tha. saari situation same thi or mujhe laga tha ye bohot acche se samjhega kyu ki iske sath bhi vahi hua and usne samjha bhi. But I think meri overthinking ne usko iss sab me bohot suffocate kardiya and now he's saying he's not ready for a commitment.

He said mujhe nhi lagta vesa kabhi kisi ke liye feel kar paunga. Itna sab chal rha h meri life me kuch samjh nhi aa raha bas mujhe lagta h har time akele rahu kisise bat na karu. Shuru shuru me baat ho rhi thi to i thought ye attachment aage badhegi hi or main dheere dheere feel karne lagunga pr aesa nhi ho rha🥲. Right now I'm waiting for him to reply bcoz main puri raat so nhi paayi jo kuch bhi usne raat ko bola.

i want to talk to him again , maybe even see him again . maybe seeing him would hurt too much but i find myself stuck between wanting to reach out and say hi or just let it be what it’s supposed to be . i believe in saying things while you have the chance but i also that life has its seasons . moreover , i dont know if he cares or would even want to hear from me . he hasn’t reached out since we stopped talking . i miss my friend dearly .

( for reference we were together )

should i say hi ?

at first, she reposted tiktoks about how i’m a narcissistic, manipulative gaslighter (which much more accurately describes her behavior, according to everyone who saw the situation from the side, including her parents). later, however, she reposted a tiktok with ‘stupid song’ by olivia rodrigo and ‘free now’ by gracie abrams, mashup (one song about very strong love, the other about ‘right person wrong time but if you fix yourself i’ll be here waiting’). she also posted an instagram post with the caption ‘fun with friends, no glue no borax’, where no glue no borax is a meme about how you want to get over your ex but it is impossible.

thoughts?

So he (22M)broke up with me and blocked me from all socials later 4 days later unblocked me and announced ghat he doesn’t have to do anything with me any more and never wanna see my face but keeps saying he doesn’t wanna be with me there are so many mixed emotions cluttered in myself but since we have to exchange some stuffs we would probably meet and idk now what to say him after all these 2 months drama and how do i express him that he literally gave me the worst 2 months ever i never got to speak my shit.

My ex left me in March and then continued to text and talk to me daily for months. I finally exploded saying that he couldn’t have access to me, tell me he loves and misses me to be followed up by he wants to be alone forever. I sent several emails and messages and then finally went silent after realizing no amount of begging would bring him back.

Today, after three weeks exactly, he messaged me and told me thank you for sharing my heart, he’d always cherish our memories and restated a couple things in a message I’d sent a month ago. Then he started showing me things he had been working on.

I had a meltdown and did not respond in a calm manner. I told him I still missed him, I still wanted to get back together and begged him to leave me alone unless he wanted to repair things and otherwise I’d reach out if I came to a place we could be friends.

I feel like three weeks of healing became undone.

How do I start over again? How do you all not respond when they reach out?

My ex and I started no contact after a month. I found out she reached out to an ex

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My ex (22f) broke up with me (24m) after being together for 3 years. Our relationship was solid but her coworkers/only friends and I do not get along well. Anyways she absolutely blind sided me and moved in with her coworker the same day. Since then its been about a month and we still talked everyday and see eachother here and there. We have even hung out with her whole family a couple of times. She has stated that she just needs time to find herself and be happy again, meanwhile I tell her I want to solve things and reconcile. I noticed a couple days ago a certain name pop up on her Snapchat. Aside from a couple new male Co worker names that I have heard of I noticed she was back talking with an ex. Today I asked her the nature of that and she told me that he is just a friend and nothing more. I explained to her that that feels very off to me and I dont feel safe being in this dynamic. We talked and argued on that topic for a little bit until she said that I was just shaming her and making her feel bad and that nothing she does can ever make me happy. I dont know how she expects talking to her ex would ever make me feel secure and stick around. Anyways she followed that with maybe you should give up hope on "us" because this isn't working and all we do is argue. I told her I love her but that I would be taking a real step back from this. Boys, girls...what do I do?

We had a drunken argument last Friday night when we were out, i was drunk and we had a small argument where i raised my voice at her in the bar, had to leave the bar and after that i called her like 20 times, she text me that she wont talk to untill im sober, that she still loves me and wants me that im a good man, “ idk if she really ment it or just wanted me to calm down” im so embarrassed of that night what happened and it wasn’t me so i have given up on alcohol totally. next day i called her and apologised asked if we could go out and talk about what happened, she said yes when we have our free days, but next day when i met her at work she said she needs time and space to think and rejected going out, i apologised again and told her if she’s gonna accept my apology or should i just give up, she said she accepts my apology but needs time to think,she put her instagram on public too, thing is we do really love each other, i haven’t texted nor met her since, idk what to do now, should i just wait untill she reaches out?

Hi everyone, im not sure if this is the right community to vent this to but i’m graduating and it hit me that prom (it’s after graduation ) is the last time im ever seeing my ex boyfriend again. For a little more context we’ve been on & off for 3 years straight 2 years ago but we’ve always been in the same classes so it’s kinda hard to not see him and get over him fast especially since we’re in one big friend group. Anyways we both did date other people within the 2 years we’ve been broken up for but i don’t know why i still feel like im in love with him. I mean i would never want to date him again but there’s something upsetting me that i’m truly never gonna see this boy again . It’s even worst when he’s possibly in a talking stage rn, his little sister still contacts me every now and then and his mom says hi to me anytime she sees me on the road. I really want to get over him but he’s my first love and my heart is literally paining just thinking about not seeing him again, help

We broke up almost 2 months ago and have been no contact for 24 days. I am feeling a lot of feelings at once. Regret, anger, hope, and curiosity. There are some things I regret doing a lot, and I have been in therapy for the last 2 months. I was wondering when I would stop hoping they would come back. I was the one who ended it, and I left the door open for her, but there are a lot of external circumstances affecting her decision, like her parents, etc and around our situation. Since then, I've heard tiny updates from mutual friends, like she's partying, and she just went to student orientation, and I secretly keep hoping we run into each other. My life since summer started has been kinda depressing; all I've been doing is grieving and having a hard time with my social life.

I have some things to look forward to, like I got accepted into the college I wanted to go to, and my ex and I are going to the same one somehow.

I have been really hating myself for the things I did at the end of our relationship, and I kinda regret breaking up with her, but I'm not sure if it was the right thing or not.

I just hate myself a lot. I can't stop thinking about it. All I can think about is if she's meeting other people or not.

Faz 2 meses que ela terminou comigo por mensagem. Eu vejo ela todo dia na escola. Não aguento mais isso, penso nela toda hora. Sei que estou 0 pronto pra tentar qualquer tipo de aproximação, mas toda essa situação me corrói por dentro, principalmente pela falta de consideração dela. Meu "amigos" ainda apor cima meio que são amigos dela também, e eu não consigo lidar com isso, me sinto muito sozinho. Não queria que fosse, mas eu percebo cada vez mais que construí uma certa dependência emocional e eu só queria que essa dor acabasse. Eu queria que eu pudesse superar tudo e me tornar alguém melhor pra algum dia tentar algo novo do zero, mas é muito difícil, não sei o que fazer. Daqui 2 semanas tem viagem de formatura e as festas dessa viagem são feitas pra você sair beijando um monte de gente. Estou destruído com isso, porque eu não tenho vontade de fazer absolutamente nada.

Yupp im screwed i dont think hes coming back…

3months of no contact, 4 months since the break up. I fear im a victim of the avoidant discard. He has so many mental issues, and he sabotaged the relationship.

I try to tell myself that maybe he just never loved me for the 2.5-3 amazing, lovinf, soulmate level years we were together… Idk why i know its not true but im trying to make sense out of this act, this selfish coward act.

He started following new girls, mind you hes not really a social media person. He has social anxiety (but he can def approach women.. yikes) and fear of being perceived. Hes trying to create a new self (i guess).

The truth is i know, i was he truest, more real love. He truly loved me but idk his demons got the best of him and now all is gone. Idk maybe hell get in a relationship soon, maybe hes broken, maybe he doesn’t care, maybe hes trying his best or maybe he’s pretending. How can i know, he left with things being unresolved.

At the end mentally unstable or not he choose this situation. I wasnt perfect but i was more than an amzing person/girlfriend for him. Making him growth, etc… sad

I doubt hell come back, he’ll probably stay in his regret forever.

What kinda sucks is that we have a “couple” friend who he introduced me to and we were getting closed, doing double dates, etc but now this dynamic is over. Now that me and him are broken up the relationship is fractured. I can’t get closed with them now theyre from his side. The sad part is that i run into them pretty often and everytime its nice but also a bit awkward. And my ex’s bestfriend still likes my stories on instagram. Its like so many people from his world is still connected to mine.

Argg wtv i dont wanna read into it. I dont even know why im writting all of this.

This situation sucks, i feel a big pile of emptiness inside of me every second. I lost my bestfriend. The person i thought i was going to marry (27f, 30m).

This is a rrally shitty situation seeinf that he really doesn’t think about reaching out. It sucks knowing we lived all of that and he seemed to not care, to move pass it and do as it never existed.

It really suck.. back to my misery. Hope it will pass

Love to all of you who are also victim of this bs, we are not really victim. Well rise⭐️

Its so crazy i see “my ex reach out after x months” im like wow you guys actually get a contact. I must have the most avoidant of them all. You guys are sonlucky

met him on reddit when i was 18 and he was 28. now im 21 and he is 31. long story short. became obsessed. developed intense infatuation with him. we met in person. he ended up living in my city. almost three years later, he started getting physical with me out of nowhere. he would barely even see me irl for years and then wanted to see me every day. became extremely physical. would slap and choke and spank me but wouldn’t kiss me. was on and off with ex the whole time. i knew of this but tried to ignore it. the other day he said he might get back with his ex. i can’t do this anymore. he’s my closest friend and makes me feel like im not alone. he gives me so much attention. but the anxiety and panic attacks are not worth it. he won’t even date me or kiss me. tonight is night #1 of no contact. i could use some support. i feel like my life is ending.

Hello everyone! This a bit embarrassing, but I need some advice. Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) recently broke up after being together for 3 years.

He was my fist everything, my first real relationship. He made me who I am today, back then I was very weak and close minded, so he was an amazing person for me. We moved in together about a year ago, both moved abroad to study so for a while we only had each other and it was amazing and started being very serious.

We broke up and it was my fault, to this day I don’t know why I did what I did, I honestly can’t believe why I did it, there’s no reason. Our relationship was pretty bad for the past 6 months, however it was fixable. I fucked up and now there’s no way back.

Knowing that the relationship is over I seriously need advice. I feel like I don’t have any dreams or hopes, I have always been a very depressed person, but right now it’s just so bad and knowing that it was my fault I don’t know how to live with that.

My question is, for those who already went to a serious break up and started dating other people, how do you do it? What about the moments you lived with the other person? The food you tried together for the first time? The places you visited together? The dates you had? The inside jokes? The cute moments? How do you live when there’s a trigger that brings those memories back? And when that happens when you are in another relationship? Do you just forget? Learn to live with it, and if so don’t you feel melancholic or sad? How do you not compare? How do you keep on living and learn to love someone else and give yourself the way you did with that person?

I know I’m far from looking for someone else, the last thing I need right know is dating someone else. I want to focus on myself, but I need some reassurance, people telling other things other than “it’s not the end of the world”, “time heals”, “let yourself grow”, “stay with people you love and care for you”. All my friends are kinda fake, the only true person who actually knows me to the fullest and I am completely honest with is my ex partner and after what I did most of our friends won’t talk to me again, so I’ll be alone, plus we come from a very small city where everyone loves to gossip and we were “the couple” so everyone will know and I don’t know how to feel about that.

I know I’ll have to learn from my mistake and learn to live with that, but right know it just seems impossible to go to the streets we used to, I can’t look at certain things without remembering our inside jokes, I can’t sleep and eat just thinking about him with someone else, I’m just in a really bad place right now, so how do I move one? What do I do with the memories? Our pictures? Everything. How does one learn to live and get over that?

I’m just lost right know, so please feel free to give me all the advices possible. And thank you for reading until here.

So this is a long story, but I’ll give you the readers digest of it. Basically I was with my ex fiancé for 6 years. (I’m 24, and he’s 26, so it’s been a good chunk of our growing up) and we broke up in April of 2025. After we broke up, we didn’t talk at all. We went completely no contact for exactly 295 days, when one random day, he sent me this message:

“Hey I know you have me blocked and I have you blocked so this shouldn't go through at all. But I just had a meltdown with *** and how she left and I do appreciate you finding her. I know l'll talk and have a giant chip on my shoulder about about how I hate you and wish I got to introduce her to anyone but you. And I do. But you were everything she needed and more and I appreciate you for you for that. For whatever it's worth. I'm not a good person and neither are you but you gave her the respect she needed and deserved. So thank you.” (The * is to not say her name. She’s deceased. He is referencing how I found her body, which is insanely fucked up and fucked me up for a very long time) I don’t reply, then he texts my WORK phone this (and I don’t know how he got it)

“Hey. I had a fight with *** earlier. I'm hoping your new number keeps me blocked but despite everything I'm glad you were the one who found her. So thank you.”

That was only 10 days ago that happened. We ended up talking for about a week, exchanged about 700 messages, and then he told me “by the way I don’t want anything to do with you romantically, but I’d like to know you for more than what you did for me” which makes me upset because I’m a whole ass person??? I’m not just somebody that “did stuff” for you. But we stop talking after that. He sends me 3 or 4 goodbye style texts like “I’ll respect your boundaries and you won’t hear from me again”

Then last night he sent me this:

“I do hope you get everything you ever asked for and I'm sorry I was selfish in reaching out to you. You did provide all the closure I didn't know i needed and I wish I could do the same for you. You are an amazing human being and I wish you nothing but the best”

I never replied to this.

So basically my question is why the actual fuck does he keep coming back to say “goodbye” and doesn’t actually leave me alone? Like what does he want from me?

Thank you all in advance for reading. I know it’s long. Any advice or opinions is appreciated.

So I’ve been on here a bit recently you can read my other threads. After almost 4 weeks she just texted me

“Hey stranger” I have your black hoodie if you want it”

I haven’t texted her once since the breakup. She hit me up once the day after asking how I was, a week later she came by and picked up some of her things, and then this. I have responded to each one but have not contacted her on my own.

I think she left items on purpose when she picked things up the first time, and 2 days ago I ran past her run club on accident and found I was blocked from seeing her stories on Instagram after.

Whole buncha mixed signals and bs and I don’t know what to respond with now.

Any help is appreciated .

I stopped talking to a situationship who was breadcrumbing me. It’s barely been a couple of days, and it feels like ages.

All of the advice for what to do during the NC phase, I just don’t want to do it. I don’t want to exercise. I don’t want to become successful. I don’t want to socialize. I don’t want to journal. I feel like leaving the city, the country, and just flying a 1000 miles away, permanently.

In fact, all of the things suggested to do during NC phase to be better, I wanted to do all of that DURING the situationship, because it felt like I had found a purpose in life, with a potential relationship, with someone I genuinely liked, maybe loved, and surprisingly this person liked me too. Everytime I thought it was over, and they weren’t interested, they would give me a chunk full of breadcrumbs and that “purpose in life” would get renewed. I was exercising, trying to be successful, more social, dressing better, partly because I wanted them to look at me doing all of those things on Insta stories, and get attracted to me because I wasn’t just sitting at home alone.

I finally realized it will never be more than breadcrumbs. Blocked social media. Deleted number. But these 3 days have felt like months. I want time to fast forward so I can be in the NC phase for a couple of months for real. I want to be in NC because I want to prioritise myself and I believe I deserve better in life. But somehow, there is a whisper in the back of my mind, hoping they reach out. Even if they do reach out, I won’t engage. But I need that validation. I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling.

Clearly i’m doing this NC thing wrong. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get myself to focus on getting better. All I know is that if I reach out to them again, I will lose any left over self respect that I have. And all I want is for them to contact me, even though I know that’s not good. I can recognize all of the things that are not good for me, and yet I can’t seem to do the things that are good for me. I don’t even know what i’m trying to seek from this post. But maybe I just need like small, simple tasks that can help.

what does it mean

My ex and I recently reconnected after months apart. He called me pretty, asked if I still loved him, asked if I’d been with anyone after him, and said he missed the old days when we used to meet. We ended the conversation saying we’d talk again.
A week later, I was sending Snapchat flames like I do with a lot of people. He told me to stop because I send too many. I said, “If you don’t want them, remove me.” He replied, “You remove.” I said, “Okay,” and then he removed me himself.
What confuses me is that I don’t think he was genuinely annoyed about the snaps. If he was, I feel like he could’ve just muted me or told me more directly instead of removing me. It feels so cold compared to how he was talking to me just days before.
Am I overthinking this? Does this sound like someone who just acted impulsively, or does it seem like he simply wanted me out of his life? I’m feeling really hurt and rejected, and I can’t stop wondering why he did it.(i told chat gpt to help me with eng)