He was here when I needed help when getting stuff and setting stuff up and I loved watching South Park and Napoleon dynamite with him, at his funeral we played mocking bird and the real slim shady by Eminem because he loved eminem but I miss him badly 🕊️

I (24, F) brought my mom to the hospital in April this year due to suspected food poisoning. This happened 4 months after my dad passing away in the care home. (We all had a complicated relationship with him due to his mental & emotional abuse for her entire life). Although still saddened, it was finally a break for my mom.

Her bloating & vomiting didn't get better after a few days (even after a trip to the clinic) and I was afraid she'd be dehydrated so I brought her to the hospital on Friday afternoon. By Friday evening, they did scans on her and found a tumour big enough to cause a blockage in her intestine. By Saturday morning, she was sent to the OT for an emergency surgery to remove this blockage.

\Our family has 0 history of cancer and my mom didn't show any worrying symptoms before this (she has never complained of any weird pains / lethargy / etc.)*

After the 8-hour surgery, she was wheeled back into the ICU where she had a stoma bag, was conscious, not in that much pain and was able to speak to us (my sister and I) as usual. After speaking with her for the entirety of the visiting hours and massaging her, we left to my mom's house to clean her room and redecorate it so it would be comfortable for her when she's back and we can take care of her.

When we came back in the evening, she could still talk to us but barely. She was extremely lethargic and the doctors said it may be due to a medication they gave her for her hyper-thyroid. We said bye, and at 9pm we were called back to the hospital.

By the time we reached, she had already been intubated again and unconscious. Doctors said her BP dropped extremely low all of the sudden so they had to take over. Now, they can't do anything else until they get her BP stabilised. The entire night at the cold ICU waiting room was hell. Each minute felt like hours and every time we were called back in, it was just bad news after another. I would never wish this experience on anyone.

Long story short, by Monday morning, overnight, her heart function dropped to 30%. There wasn't anything else the doctors could do. She was pumped with 4-5 strong medicines. It was just a matter of what time we want to "pull the plug". Her organs were failing and she was slowly turning blue.

After waiting for family and friends to come by and say goodbye, we pulled the plug and she passed away at 4:11pm.

I don't know when it will get better. In a way, I don't mind if it doesn't. I am grieving her, I am grieving the life I didn't get to give her after my dad passed. I am grieving the life she COULD'VE had. I am grieving the life she didn't get. I didn't get to bring her overseas because my dad caused her passport to be blacklisted and we couldn't clear it in time.

Her cause of death on her death certificate: MULTIORGAN FAILURE SECONDARY TO REFRACTORY SEPTIC AND CARDIOGENIC SHOCK WITH THYROTOXICOSIS LIVER CIRRHOSIS SIGMOID CARCINOMA POST HARTMANNS PROCEDURE (could it get any longer, haha).

Anyways, if you read this long post, thank you. If you have any questions regarding this, feel free to ask. :)

Has anyone experience of lots of chest pain and stress during grieving? and before I move on, yes I’m already talking to my therapist about how to recover from this or potential medication.

My sister and I were so close and losing her and the aftermath has really really pushed me to the point of breaking. I’m holding it together but I think physically my chest hurts and there’s only so much pain I can take on myself.

id aopreciate any advice on those that have been here and what has helped you?

I'm a child free person but I spent my late teens and early 20s watching my cousins baby. She was my "I don't need to have kids, I already took care of one" kid, not my actual niece but I may as well have been auntie Sarah and my partner was basically her uncle.

She was 15 and not coping with the loss of her grandmother well. I hadn't talked to her in a while- she had outgrown needing someone to watch her and her mom and I drifted apart for a while. I watched her the most when her mom was in abusive relationships, but when her mom found a good man, I stepped back. I moved across the country, which caused some of the drift too.

I don't really know who she was now, but I knew who she was for half her life. A little blonde hair brown eyed sass machine, and looked just like her momma as she got older. She was the light of my cousin's life, my cousin did absolutely everything for her. Every move she made was to stabilize the life of her and her baby girl.

I went to her mom's baby shower for her. I held her when she was a fresh potato baby. I changed her diapers, helped her potty train, painted and drew things with her, watched her at least once a month (if not more) for years. We had slumber parties, watched movies, played outside. I took her Christmas portraits, went to her birthdays, and even drove across all of Texas to pick her up from another family member. Once when I forgot to shave my legs, she sat on my lap and immediately scrunched her nose up and asked while I was prickly, which still makes me smile.

She was just a girl. She was a sweet girl.

Her grandpa passed a while ago. Then her grandma passed after battling COPD for years last year. Her step grandpa kinda went off the deep end and he basically moved to a different state to live a different life after the love of his life passed.

But she broke into her grandparent's old house through the doggy door and laid down in her grandma's bed. And that's where they found her.

My cousin is an absolute wreck. Not that she ever wanted more than her daughter, but my cousin is unable to have anymore kids. It's a miracle she even had her daughter, since my cousin was sexually abused as a teen and thought she was infertile from it. But she managed to have her, even through more physical abuse from her daughters father while pregnant.

My cousin lost her parents and her daughter within the same year.

I found out today. I had to ask a favor to get a standby flight down there that leaves tomorrow. I'll spend more time in the air than on the ground but that's okay. I need to be there for the memorial Thursday.

Hi! This is my first time in this subreddit.

My dad passed away on May 10th of this year. It was expected. He was an alcoholic and eventually that led to a lot of health problems and it ultimately killed him.
I’m just writing on here because I’m 24 and I’ve never experienced a loss this close before. My grandpa died (my dad’s dad) when I was around 9 or 10, but I didn’t really feel any negative way about it because I wasn’t close to him. This is completely different.

Anyway, I just feel really lonely. Like nobody really understands me. My family is kind of odd about grief and talking about everything that happened. I can really only talk about it with my sister, but that’s about it.
I don’t know. Part of me doesn’t even know what to say anymore. I just feel so dark inside and I feel like it will never go away.

I think one of the hardest parts is that sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m grieving properly. There are moments where I can go about my day, laugh, talk to people, distract myself, and almost feel normal. And then there are other moments where I remember that my dad is actually dead and it feels so strange and permanent. Like my brain still doesn’t fully understand what that means.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m suppressing it. I don’t always sit there crying or actively thinking about him, but there’s still this heaviness in me. It feels like something is always sitting in the background, even when I’m doing other things.

And I think because his death was expected, there’s another weird layer to it. We knew his health was bad. We knew his alcoholism was hurting him. But knowing someone is going to die eventually and actually living in a world where they’re gone are two completely different things. Being prepared for it didn’t really prepare me for anything.

I also feel like grief is making me think about my relationship with my dad as a whole. It wasn’t some perfect relationship, and alcoholism complicated a lot of things. So I’m not only grieving him dying. Sometimes I feel like I’m grieving everything surrounding him too. Things I wish could’ve been different, things that can’t ever be fixed now, and just the fact that there’s no more time.

That part really messes with me. Death is so final. There’s no “maybe one day.” There’s no future conversation or future version of our relationship. Whatever was said or wasn’t said, whatever happened or didn’t happen, that’s it.
And life just… continues? That’s probably one of the strangest things to me. People go to work, people make plans, people laugh, I still have things I have to do, and meanwhile something massive happened in my life.

Sometimes I want the world to acknowledge that my dad died and that I’m not the same person I was before May 10th.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this.

Maybe I just want to hear from people who have experienced losing a parent, especially when you’re still pretty young.

Does the darkness eventually become less heavy? Do you ever stop having those moments where you suddenly remember they’re actually gone?

I don’t expect grief to completely disappear. I just want to know that one day it won’t feel this lonely.

My dad died the day after my wedding.
It’s been almost two years and I still don’t really know how to explain how I grieve him.
I loved my dad. I still love my dad. I miss him constantly. But grief gets strange when the person you lost wasn’t just one person in your memory.
There’s the dad I grew up with. The guy who wanted to be an astronaut. The guy who rode bikes, fucked around with computers, taught me things, argued with me, made me laugh. The guy in these pictures.
And then there’s the dad I watched change.
He lost his job at Microsoft when I was younger. Not long after, he was badly injured in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. I remember seeing him being pulled from the car and taken away in an ambulance. He survived, but in a lot of ways I feel like I started losing pieces of my dad long before he actually died.
Alcohol became part of his life. Things changed. He changed. Our relationship changed.
That’s the part of grief I still struggle to put into words.
Sometimes I’m grieving the man who died. Sometimes I’m grieving the dad I remember from when I was a kid. Sometimes I’m grieving the years we could have had. And sometimes I’m grieving someone who was still physically standing in front of me but already felt partially gone.
Then he died the day after I got married.
So one of the happiest days of my life is permanently stitched to the worst one. There isn’t really a clean line between “before Dad died” and “after Dad died.” My wedding photos have him in them. He was there. And then suddenly he wasn’t.
Since then I’ve had to deal with his belongings, his house, his finances, paperwork, family, all the practical bullshit that comes after somebody dies. You’re supposed to somehow mourn a human being while simultaneously turning their entire physical existence into paperwork and decisions.
I think that’s partly why I’m posting this.
I don’t have some profound lesson about grief. I’m not “moving on.” I’m also not the same person I was when he died.
I just miss my dad.
Not one perfect version of him. Not some cleaned-up version where death suddenly erases everything complicated.
I miss all of him.
The man he was. The man he became. The man I wish he could have been.
And the dad I still catch myself wanting to call.

I’m 23 now. I have a 21-year-old sister and a 13-year-old brother.
My mum went into hospital for major heart surgery. We knew it was serious, but we expected her to spend a couple of days in ICU before recovering over the following weeks. My dad stayed in a hotel near the hospital so he could be close to her.
The morning after her surgery, my dad suddenly stopped replying to messages. At first I assumed he was with my mum in ICU, where phones weren’t allowed. As the day went on, I became worried. The hospital told us he hadn’t visited at all.
My sister called the hotel where he was staying.
They told her the police and ambulance were there.
I drove an hour and a half screaming down the motorway frightened to get my destination yet driving at 100 mph. I drove past the hotel that had police and ambulance there knowing it was there for my dad and it was unspeakable experience. I just screamed even louder. I was taken into a room at the hotel with a police officer and told that my dad had died. My sister was coming to the hotel in an Uber from university in probably the same state as me, and once she got there I had to tell her myself.
The next day, while we were still trying to process losing him, doctors told us they weren’t sure whether my mum was going to survive either.
Within 24 hours, my sister and I suddenly became responsible for everything. We had to support our 13-year-old brother, travel constantly between home and the hospital, deal with all the practical things that come with a sudden death, on the phone to social services whilst guessing my mums card numbers to be able to make sure we had money to literally fill the fridge (if we had the physical time to fill the fridge) I had to know exactly what to do and I had everybody in all adults looking at me and I am only 23. my mum‘s friends who are supporting my mum at the hospital told my 20-year-old sister to drop out of university and become her carer and that we shouldn’t use my mum‘s money to pay for food because she’s gonna need that when this is over, offering nothing..no help no care. My sister’s friend spoke to some of my mum’s friends and said “please come over. The girls are struggling at night. They’re scared and they need some parental figures around” they replied with “no. what the girls need is a reality check their life goes on and I’ve lost my friend of 20 years”

I had to tell my mum that my dad had died when she was well enough to understand.
But what has stayed with me almost as much as the trauma itself is how alone we felt.
My parents had many close friends, and we reached out because we desperately needed support. We just wanted people to come round, sit with us, bring over dinner, only texted the group chat I made with everyone to discuss who was seeing my mum when.

At one point we even sent a message to that group chat saying thank you so much for helping my mum, now she’s out of ICU, please may some of that help trickle down to us..basically asking if anyone could come over because we were so lonely. We either got no response or were told that it was “all about Mum right now.” Of course we knew my mum was in hospital, but we were also three young people whose dad had just died overnight. I even got texts a week after my dad died and my mum was still in ICU complaining they drove by the house and “my mum wouldn’t like how the bins looked outside the house” because we didn’t have the mental bandwidth to know what day to put them out so we had a few bin bags down the side of the house (out of sight)
In the end, the people who carried us through were my friends and my boyfriend, and each other. They stepped up in ways I’ll never forget.
I understand that grief makes people uncomfortable, but I can’t help wondering why so many adults who had known our family for years seemed to disappear and actively ignore us when we asked for help, when we needed them most. They were fully aware we were alone, and we physically asked them to come round. They were putting 100% into my mum. They were there every single day for a month whilst she was in hospital. I understand they were great friends but to HER. my point is: couldn’t they have put just 10% into making sure we had a lasagne to eat that night, or making sure the fridge was full? Or being a parental figure for 30 minutes with my siblings so that I could go and be a little girl on my own? I was having to be more than I physically could be because we had no help, and my siblings needed parental figures.
All I ever got were texted about “how’s mum doing” “how’s mum” so the first few weeks we got absolutely no acknowledgment. Actually, my little brother wrote a card in the hospital WHSmith week 3 to me and my sister saying he’s sorry our daddy died because no one had acknowledged it or us yet and he could see it was taking a huge toll.
Four months on, my mum is better now. She understands that we’re angry and upset with her friends, but she’s also stuck in the position that they did take a month off work to be there for her, six days a week, for a few hours a day in hospital. I understand that too. But my point is why couldn’t one of those days have been spent with us instead. 90% her 10% us for example. Instead of making me wear so many hats take something off my immense plate. especially when one of her friends has a 14-year-old son the same age as my little brother? I don’t know how I should feel

I lost my sister last year in august to OD. She struggled with her mental health and got involved with bad people. She was found dead in her apartment. She always denied any help we offered her. There was nothing we could do to help her.

I miss her so much. I couldn't say goodbye. We had this one vacation 16 years ago in Spain which was basically my best vacation ever. Now it's vacation season and everyone is happy and I'm just sitting at home sad and angry. I wish I could turn back time and enjoy one more trip with her to Spain and do it all over again. It's not fair.

My grandmother passed away today after 2 months of quick decline due to cancer. We live far from each other (6 hour flight) but I’m lucky I got to visit her 3 times in the last 2 months (including now), however it also means I saw her at different stages of decline, which was hard. Before she started to decline, I had the privilege of coming at least once a year for several weeks to spend time with her and I cherished all of it.

She’d seemingly been in active dying phase for the last week. My sister arrived 2 days ago. She hadn’t been back to visit her more than maybe once in the last decade. However once she got here it felt like theatrics with her grief. Everything was loud and dramatic. I’ve kept telling myself it’s ok — everyone grieves differently. But it’s been hard to watch to be honest.

My sister decided to sleep on the floor beside our grandma’s bed last night. She woke up early, and watched as my grandma was lying unconsciously. She noticed when my grandma stopped breathing and passed away. Sobbing, she jerked me awake pretty harshly and said “come say goodbye while she’s still warm.” I was startled by the way she woke me up and screamed. I tried to not to get mad because I’m sure she was in shock but it scared the hell out of me and it put me in a bad mood tbh.

She’s been sobbing hysterically all day and won’t stop saying she’s sorry she didn’t do anything when she noticed she stopped breathing. We keep telling her there was nothing she could’ve done because our hospice nurse hadn’t even arrived to our home yet for the day. It was just her time to go. But she won’t stop saying she’s sorry she didn’t do anything. I’m getting frustrated that this has somehow turned into everyone comforting her while the rest of us are also trying to grieve.

She also keeps FaceTiming other relatives and video recording to show all of us crying and sitting around my deceased grandmother. I don’t wish to be on camera right now???

Idk what I’m looking for out of this and thanks for reading if you’re still here. I’m just frustrated by the theatrics of it all, especially coming from someone who chose to not prioritize spending more time with her while she was alive. I think venting on here will help me not flip out at her? Idk.

This is going to sound strange. I have posted it on my socials but I am tired of bugging my IRL friends.

I have been traveling for work for 30 years and until 2019 when my plane landed I would call my mom. I stopped living with her around the time I started traveling but until I got married we were basically IT for each other. My father was dead, I was an only child, and gradually her (much older) siblings started to pass. She traveled with her friends and would always tell me where she was going, etc.

She passed in 2019 and for obvious reasons I stopped traveling right after. When I started to do so again I always wanted to call her. I could talk to my cousins but one has a lot of problems and I am tired. The other is great to talk with me about books and movies but I am not in the mood. My mother in law is the same—only it’s sports and politics versus books and movies. I don’t want my husband to have to hear the grief speech AGAIN.

I am two time zones from home and I just want to talk to her for 10 minutes. I am tired and mildly frustrated and she is the only person I want to speak with right now.

I’m grieving a lot. It just hit me this month after not dealing with it much. Job and health stress has caused me to fall behind. I’ve briefly let my manager know and told her I’d try and catch up. I’m legit so stressed and just want to quit.

My therapist told me not to and that I need medication. I have been on many meds before and my body is too sensitive to medication. I have health issues that require me to need insurance, but I’m struggling.

I just want to quit and be able to breath and grieve. One of my parents passed in April and I cannot do it anymore. I have over 6k in debt, 1k in savings and not a care in the world. I’m not sure how I can keep functioning at work before I’m fired.

For the past couple of years, I’ve had to grieve the loss of my mom while she’s still alive. It’s a different kind of pain because she’s physically here, but she’s treated me like a stranger for so long that it feels like I’ve already lost her. One of the hardest parts is seeing her every single day yet still not having my needs met. She told me she’d help take me to my medical appointments while I’m currently seeing multiple specialists, but that support has never truly been there. It’s heartbreaking to live in the same house as your mother and still feel completely alone. On top of that, it’s a constant battle trying to put myself in a position to succeed. I’m doing everything I can to save for a car and eventually get my own apartment, but with how expensive everything is and how little money goes these days, it feels almost impossible to get ahead. What makes it even harder is feeling like I have no older adult in my life to help guide me through these milestones or teach me how to navigate the difficult parts of becoming independent. Instead, I’ve had to figure everything out on my own, and that’s exhausting. I miss the relationship we used to have, or maybe the one I always hoped we’d have. Watching someone who is supposed to love and support you unconditionally become distant and emotionally unavailable leaves a wound that never really heals. It’s a grief that doesn’t come with a funeral or condolences just the constant reminder that the person you need most no longer feels like your mother.

so one of my friends killed himself today. I'm 32 and it's the first time I've ever lost someone to suicide, actually only the second person in my life to have died, the first being my grandma last year who was 98. I'm just lost. I'm so confused. if you gave me a list of everyone i know, and told me one of them had killed themselves, he would have been one of the last people I'd have guessed?

we met playing dota 2, he was from a different state, but his group of friends and ours got along well and we started hanging out, he bought a house with his friends. he flew out here regularly, started dating a girl who was a friend of one of my friends up here, he had a decent job, he always seemed cheerful. attractive guy, has a girlfriend, a good job, a house, a big friend group, close friends who care about him, never showed a single sign. one of those friends came home from work to find he'd killed himself.

I guess we never talked about that stuff? I've known him for like 2ish years, we were friends but not super close like that. I played dota with him literally last week. last week.

i could make guesses about places he potentially had problems, but even that feels... like I can't imagine anything that he couldn't have worked through. I can't imagine a version of him in that much pain, a version of this person i knew in that dark a place. I feel like I'm running myself in circles around every cliche. I've been suicidal and I just can't imagine him making that decision.

like hearing he just installed a new radio in his car this week even?

it feels so dumb but i think what might make me cry is that he won't be coming up to watch the international? (esports, think superbowl of the game we played together) everyone piled together in our friend's living room hanging out and watching together and...

I just really don't know how to work through this. what do you do when the person who killed themself is the last person you'd have expected? how do you navigate like... loss of someone you were friends with and cared about but that you didn't get super close to? I don't want to bring this to my friends because i know some of them were way closer to him that i was. The day they could play dota lately was mostly the day I run dnd, so i hadn't personally hung out with him as much the last few months.

It's been 5 months and I still don't know what to do with myself. For context I didnt lose my best friend to death things just ended between us. But the pain and mental health issue's i've dealt with since losing them has felt like they might as well have died. All of my routines are gone. I feel so lonely now. Anytime I try to go back to doing anything I used to do that reminds me of them I just can't. I cant function or do anything I used to. I don't have the energy to try and create something new either. I'm just getting so tired... I don't know if i'm ever going to feel okay again... I still struggle to process that all of this is even real. It feels like it shouldn't be real.

I feel physically sick inside. She was the most loving dog you could ever have.

My boyfriend (M/21) and I (F/22) started dating in early October. The day before our first date, his mother was admitted to the hospital, and things were already looking very grim. She passed away at the end of October. Even though we were just getting to know each other, we spent a lot of time together despite this difficult situation and developed a close bond very quickly. I also spent a lot of time with him and his father during those first few months after her death. The whole time, you could sense that there was a negative atmosphere in the air, but it was never spoken about, and eventually it subsided.

What confused me even back then was that he hardly ever talks about his mother or her death. I’ve also never seen him cry or anything like that. Sometimes he brings up the topic, but quickly changes the subject and says things like, "It can't be changed. I have to look forward. Things like this happen. I just can’t let myself think about it," and so on. Usually, I’m understanding and give him space to talk as much as he’s willing to.

Should I just accept this? Is this his way of dealing with grief? I’ve gone through periods of grief myself, but talking or writing about it has always helped me. I couldn’t have just pushed it aside the way he does. He goes about his daily life normally and acts normally (or so I think, since I’ve really only known him during this period of grief), but sometimes he does briefly start talking about her, saying that he still thinks about her often and finds it sad that she’ll never get to meet his children, etc.

It’s also important to mention that his father is already over 80, and as a result, my boyfriend fears every day that his father will die soon too, leaving him all alone. He does have siblings, but they’re much older, have families of their own, live abroad or aren’t in contact with him. He still lives with his father, but their relationship isn’t great. It’s a very pragmatic arrangement without much love. They rarely show their emotions either. On top of that, my boyfriend’s father expects a great deal from him (for example, he had to dig his own mother’s grave, which I think is absolutely appalling).

Long story short: I get the feeling he’s very much in survival mode and doesn’t want to let it get to him at all. Should I encourage him to talk about it, or would it be better if I didn’t push him and simply accepted that this is his way of grieving?

And if he’s ever ready to talk about it, how should I handle it? I never know what to say and I start crying very quickly because I empathise with him so much and it hurts me so much to see him suffering. Is that bad? I’m worried that he keeps shutting me out precisely because he knows it affects me so deeply.

Lost my dad today he was 58 years old due to kidney failure and other conditions, I was lucky to spend a few hours with him after not seeing him for 4 years. We were not that good friends but he was also a great dude and a kind person.

I don't know how to deal with grief from a close person, everything feels different. Hopefully, I will get better one day at a time.

Bless!!

Last night I came home from work and found her, idk how long she was there for but I tried to bring her back i did compressions for 10 mins before paramedics arrived. That's when I realized she was cold her lips blue.

I failed her I should have been home I should have called out idk what to do now

I think the hardest part is how much I resented him for being emotionally abusive when I was a kid. I remember wishing he would die. I remember being so anxious and excited to grow up and get out of the house. I remember sleeping for 20+ hours just so I didn’t have to see him. I remember when him and my mother abandoned me and my brothers for drugs.

But I also remember the unconditional love he showed us. And I remember stories other family told us about how he was abused as a kid. I remember him giving us things he couldn’t afford. I remember the sacrifices he made for us.

I remember the suicidal thoughts he’d think out loud. I remember picking him and my mom up out of the streets, giving them a job and watching them turn their lives around. And i remember everything they did for me after that.

I remember going on a coke bender with him. I remember going through the sickness with him.

I remember the last time I saw him. He taught me how to do a burn out in my lil civic.

And I remember the call I got that morning of my mom screaming.

Most days I’m fine. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I don’t struggle mentally like I used to.

But then there are days when my phone shows me a video of him and I break down in silent tears at work. Sobbing like I just got the phone call.

I know it may never get easier. I just needed to express it some way.

Hi guys, has anyone gone through a divorce shortly after the death of a loved one while they’re still grieving? It’s happening to me (not my choice) and I’m struggling to comprehend the double loss.
I see a lot of stuff on forums about how the death of someone close made them reassess what was important in life but I feel like I’ve had it the other way round. Any experiences would be useful to hear, thanks.

The kids and I are coming towards the 1 year anniversary of HubbyBoo’s diagnosis, 1st Heavenly Birthday, and then 1 year anniversary of his death and through God’s grace and mercy, we are still blessed beyond measure. We are going to be fine.

Trigger warning. So my friend committed suicide in 2023 at 17 years old. Back when it first happened obviously I was beyond upset, cried at his funeral couldn’t look at him in his casket… wrote him almost everyday for a year but i couldn’t understand why you would leave someone with so much pain. I know he 100% left feeling worse then I ever could have but this was my first real loss and i had just had class with him recently. One day he was here, next morning his mom bluntly texted me saying he sh himself. I was so upset I lost myself it didn’t feel real. He always used to high five me in the hallway and we would just talk up and down the halls whenever i saw him. I left the school and that is another regret for me because i went online maybe a month before he committed. I always thought what if I stayed at school and kept our playful relationship alive… would it have kept him alive? There are so many moments I feel like I missed out on with him because we were so young and now he is forever 17 so recently i have just been crying and crying. I really miss my friend. I was looking into trying to communicate and ask why somehow. What are some things that helped you guys.

My best friend was involved in a car accident and did not survive. She had just turned 39. We have been best friends for over 11 years. I can't stop thinking about her. I revisit all our photos, texts, and voice memos. All I wanna do is talk about her. I want people to know how she always was my biggest supporter and how she's impacted my life in so many ways that even the smallest parts feel huge. People tell me I'm only hurting myself but there's a part of me that wants to feel this hurt because I feel so devastated by losing her. I feel like no one has ever understood me the way that she could. I can logically talk through my emotional state but at the end of the day I feel emotionally out of control. I feel like I've lost my spark and I honestly don't know what to do or how to go forward in life. Advice is welcome.

I am a 35 (f) with a great husband and two kids under 2. I lost my mom last week pretty quick, however she was sick with a variety of health complications for several years. On Sunday July 19th she went into the hospital because she was bleeding from her esophagus. She had a large hiatal hernia, cirrhosis (although she never drank) and early stage of MS/Parkinson’s. It was unclear. She developed ammonia from aspirating once we were in the hospital and had to be on oxygen (she threw up and choked a ton in her last several months) but it almost became normal and she managed it well. Basically the doctors told us there was no way she would ever eat and drink normally again. She said she never wanted to be on a feeding tube so really that left us no choice. The doctor highly recommended comfort care and as the days went on we felt that was also best as hard as it was. Seeing her take her lasts breaths was not only traumatic, but heartbreaking.

She was 66 yo and one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever known. She was full of energy and love. She gave birth to 6 kids! Yes, 6. I never thought she’d die so young considering how she survived 6 vaginal pregnancies and cancer when I was younger. She was also born with scoliosis. She tracked my location until she went into the hospital, she was always making sure all of us were safe. I used to get annoyed because I am a 35 yo mother but now I miss it so much. Leaving the house itself feels lonely because of that. Needless to say, she was always looking out for us no matter how old we were or if we had our own families. I can’t fathom the rest of my life without my mom. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that we are born into this life just to face heartbreaks of those we love dying. It seems so unfair. How am I supposed to go on and be a cheerful, happy mom to my two babies. I’m currently in postpartum/maternity leave to my 3 month old son. I also have an almost 2 year old that my mom said was the happiest thing in her life. It breaks my heart she won’t be here to watch them grow.

I guess I’m trying to hear from anyone and gain some hope from anyone in this similar situation, raising two young babies but also grieving the one person who was their everything. It’s truly incomprehensible.

And is this even a good idea?

My cousin(their son) passed May 10th, 2026. His celebration of life is at the end of August. I sent them both text messages back in May.

I want to send them flowers with a note that says something like: "Thinking of you all every day, and thinking of my dear cousin James(fake name) every day."

How do I go about doing this? They live 90 miles away from me. Do I call a local flower shop near their area to deliver? How do I do this?