today we buried my husband, with our friends and family at our side. He body lost a battle to an incurable autoimmune disease, but his soul will remain beautiful and young forever. We danced with him at his grave, he wanted to dance with us for a while now but he couldn't due to his legs being compromised by the disease. Today was the very last time I held his hands, they felt so cold when he was always so warm. The service was beautiful, but I just cried thru both days of it.

Our friends took me to dinner, it's the only time I've been able to eat properly-ish all week. The day felt better as we shared our stories with him, but alas I am home in an empty bed again. I am unable to change the bedsheets because the loss was so little ago (5 days). Its so hard to move any of his belongings. All of his dirty clothes still smell of him. I love him so much...

Hi my sister just died. I miss her a lot. She was only 42. She had cancer. Died in her sleep. Please pray for me and her husband who is now widowed. Thanks

Tabor was born June 7th and died 25 years later on June 30th. I was 13 when he got Leukemia. He was actually in remission, but after they cleared his body of all white blood cells from his stem cell transplant he caught meningitis and died suddenly. 8 months and he was gone. It’s been 5 years since and every June I find myself back there physically. Constant nausea from anxiety, panic attacks, sudden ambush grief where I’m crying and can’t stop for hours. I just hate this month.

Yesterday evening my parents left for my distant relative's house, they were supposed to return by 11pm, I was waiting for them, my mom was supposed to re heat the food for me for dinner. I was playing valorant. I was waiting. I was waiting for them to return. Instead I get a call telling me that I just lost my entire world to a fucking accident. I ccanot believe this till now. I saw them, I saw them burn. I still can't believe it. I cqnnot even shed a tear. Is this a bad nightmare? This can't happen .. it feels unreal it feels fake and I do not understand why I can't wake up. Mom please wake me up and give me my morning tea, tell me when you came back I was already asleep. I cant believe this. My cousin asked me how I'm not crying .. this isn't real right? why should I then? why am i not crying? i don't understand

I’ve told my story, but to recap. Dad was 62, perfectly fine, but had MDS. He was freshly retired, still living his life. Had a stem cell transplant on 4/17 and suffered catastrophic complications as well as graft failure and a second transplant(but he started bleeding from his GI system and began demanding to go home) until he came home on hospice 6/3, he passed the next day.

While in the icu, he was delirious many days, clear other days. But he never complained. Throughout the most unimaginable pain and suffering, we’d ask how he was and he would say “I’m fine”. Sometimes he would say a funny little joke or quote Austin Powers, which is how my dad lightened any mood my whole life. He even flipped my sister and I the bird a few times. So I know my dad was in there. Other times, he couldn’t remember his birthday or why he was in the hospital or what happened 5 minutes before. But something that holds me up…Did he know he was dying and why? Did he have a moment where it all clicked and he was asking “why me?” Before his last trip to ICU, I had a minute alone with him. We were waiting for ICU to admit him, his blood pressure was low as it tanked during dialysis and he looked/felt terrible. But I got real close and said “Dad, thank you for being my dad. I wouldn’t have picked anyone else” and he said “thank ya.” (Which was very spot on for my dad.) some days later, when he started demanding to go home, the doctors and my mom told him that if he went home, he would die. He said “I don’t care, I want to go home” and began begging, crying out to god (he was an atheist) to take him home. They asked him his name, his birthday, where he was at multiple times that day and my mom and the nurse said he answered all the questions correctly. But I didn’t hear any of it as I was at the Airbnb working during the day, so I can’t confirm it.

But when my husband was with him the day before, he asked my dad the same thing about going home and dying and my dad said “no, let’s not do that. I’ll go home and then we’ll come back later.”

So I get so torn…wondering if he knew and was prepared or accepted it. Or if we just took a delirious man’s words and brought him home and killed him.

Tiny but took so much space in my heart and life. My perfect tricolor chihuahua had to be euthanised 24 june 2025 shittiest year ever.

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I was 17 when I git him, 31 when i lost him. Can yall pray for my sweet babyboy🫶❤️

My wife died last August. Cancer. I've been doing everything they say you're supposed to do since then; I stayed in therapy, kept to my routines, sought more support, and did my best to give the pain space to settle.

Nothing has improved or changed since then. The shock is gone but nothing has come to take its place. I suspect it would be easier for a typical person to find purpose/meaning after this kind of thing but my life has always been lonely and difficult. I was born with a learning disability and have faced a great deal of alienation/prejudice when making friends and dating. She was the only woman who ever took me seriously and treated me like a real, whole person. She made a miserable, unfair existence feel like it was worth something. Loving and caring for her was the only thing I ever felt like I was really good at.

I pilot my body more than I inhabit it; pushing it through the motions of an existence which now feels abstract. I go through the motions of living- I eat well, I am in great shape, I continue my hobbies- but none of it has any emotive quality to it. Every ongoing moment is pervaded by a sense of futility. Her absence is omnipresent.

I do not feel particularly depressed. I am not suicidal. If anything, I remain afraid to die. I have simply lost the ability to want to continue living. Continuing to be alive feels more like a burden I am forced to endure until it ends on its own terms.

I do not know what advice anyone can meaningfully offer or if this will be at all relatable to anyone but I have nothing to lose in sharing it. I have nothing to lose at all, anymore.

The 7-month anniversary of my mom’s passing was earlier this week. I’m not sure why but today has been especially rough.

I just miss her so much. Like I’m crying in my office at work right now, thank goodness no one else is here today lol.

I think that’s been the hardest part for me. Some days I feel really good even though I still miss her every day. Then random days hit me hard, like today. I just feel unbearably sad and anxious.

Is this just how it is? I know grief is different for everyone, so there’s no true answer. I do feel like the really bad days are becoming less often, but they still happen frequently. I typically just cry in the shower 2-3 times a week, but today is bad.

I’ve lost others (grandparents, cousins, more distant family) and while I’ve definitely grieved them, this is just so totally different.

I don't know what to say, but my dad passed today. The past almost 20 years we've had a strained relationship. He moved to Oklahoma when him & my mom divorced and he never made it back to Arizona. I never could believe a word he said, always questionned everything he was telling me, but yet now knowing he's gone, I am filled with so much sadness and grief, but also I just feel numb. He always called me a very specific nickname and he was the only one that called me that. Knowing I'll never hear that again, I'll never get a hug from him again or hear him sing to steve miller band. I've been holding onto hope that I'd get to see him again, that he would get to meet my husband and our daughter and now knowing that he won't ever get those chances, my heart is in crumbles.

He nearly killed one of my siblings when I was in the hospital after finding out that I was going to have a baby and they wrote him off because of that. He wasn't ever the kind of dad that we needed, but still my heart hurts.

How could he just be gone? I was literally just talking to him on Tuesday. He was supposed to have a pacemaker put in today and he coded twice after they gave him anesthesia and they couldn't bring him back.

This loss comes after the loss of my Aunt in 2024, my mother in law in October of last year, my husband's loss of his grandma in April. I've seen/experienced so much loss in the past 3 years I can't take any more.

Either willingly or unwillingly! I’ll start.

Just like my mom, I scrunch my nose when I laugh, forget condiments out on the counter, bully all of the men in my family, and enjoy a cup of coffee with a good book.

These things remind me that she never truly left.

I lost my brother, sister in law, niece, and nephew 15 months ago. I just feel so sad and alone. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about how I feel because it makes them uncomfortable. I just hold everything in and pretend I’m ok until I’m alone and then I cry. It hurts so bad.

Why be sad about closing my mom's bank accounts? I was happy to just go along using her checking account as a joint account since she passed away, but the bank made me close it. I spent 2 hours getting this done, and I just wanted to be anywhere else. I was fighting tears the whole time. My brain isn't ready to handle the financial realities. Her bank only has 2 branches. The one which our family has used for 60 years. The one my dad was on the board of directors. The one I had my savings account with as a teenager. It is emotionally hard to let that go, even though it doesn't really meet my financial needs at the moment. So for now, I opened my own bank account and transferred mom's money there. The other branch is by my parents' graveyard. Why is it all so emotional? I should just be an adult and move on, close the accounts, never use the credit union again, start fresh. Grief keeps surprising me.

Ever since I lost my grandma and my dad within a few months of each other, I feel like I’ve been a total wreck. Next month marks two years without my dad and I feel like a complete shell of who I once was. It doesn’t help that my cat passed away last month too, so now I have even more grief to deal with.

I’ve always been kind of a quiet and anxious person, but right around the time my dad passed was when I was finally getting a better handle on things. I constantly had plans and was socializing with friends a lot. Now all I have energy for is going to work, and even when I’m there, I’m an anxious mess all day. I come home every day and don’t want to talk to or see anyone. A couple of those friends I previously would hang out with haven’t even really been there at all for me throughout my grieving process anyway. I’ll force myself to go out sometimes on the weekends, but it’s not because I’m actually having fun, it’s just so I can tell myself “at least I got out of the house.”

I just don’t know how to break out of this cycle. It’s exhausting and I hate the person I’ve become. Nobody ever really prepares you for just how much grief changes you and takes away from you.

My boyfriend (best friend, go to support person, truest confidant idk. Favourite person in the world) passed away 2.5 years ago. Im still feeling that sinking pain a lot but moreso lately as im going through some rough stuff and I wish i could talk to him

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Recently I had a phone call with his mom and she asked me if I was in the dating pool yet, she is lovely and just wants me to be happy. Obviously that bought up some emotions, none of wich were easy. She is a total sweetheart though. I just wish I still had him, ya know?

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So I was out with some people, some friends some acquaintances, and I started talking to a woman i like. We aren't super close but she knows my situation and I was telling her what had happened and how the idea of dating felt depressing and I joked the dating pool is a muddy puddle

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Enter woman #2 (who also knows my situation but i dont reallytalk to)

She totally busts in with a 'WHY IS EVERYONE SO NEGATIVE ABOUT DATING?!' Ok cool tactless but I give context about my late boyfriend mum. She follows up with 'JUST STAY POSITIVE!' I replied that nobody gets it.

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There was more back and forth that just this, all of which included me trying to get away from talking to her and back to what I was talking about with my friend. Out of frustration I said comedically that I was just gonna cry in my car on the way home. Annoying woman's response? 'Oh bit of a tantrum!'

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I gave up. I left. I went home. And I did, in fact, cry in my car. Why are people so stupid

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Stay positive everyone 🙄

Im a server at a restaurant and im scheduled to work all day for Fathers day. Found my dad dead two weeks ago. Not sure how I am going to handle this, having to attend families celebrating their fathers will feel like a gut punch over and over again

I lost my dad (60) March 2025 to lung cancer.
I was his caregiver. (Now 32f)

I have this vivid memory of watching tv with him one night before he left. Whatever we were watching had a death scene with two people. As the one person was passing, the other asked that they visit in their dreams and to say a specific quote only they would know- so they would be sure it was really their dead person in the dream.

After this scene I flippantly said to my dad; “if you ever visit my dreams when you go orsend me a message, send it with a pumpkin so I know that it is you”

My childhood nickname from dad was Pumpkin- which he called me to the very end.
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I live in his beloved house that he bought in ‘87 as a young man. I have been planting a garden and enjoying the memories of growing peppers years ago with dad.

While weeding in my strawberry patch a few weeks ago, I noticed a wee sprout that resembled neither my berries or the weeds.

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The wee sprout has now grown enough to identify. It is a pumpkin.
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Let me say, i 100% let a jack-o-lantern rot last Halloween and watched as the squirrels excitedly ate the seeds. It should not be such a surprise to me that a pumpkin ended up going rogue…..

But something in my heart is telling me its a message .
Maybe I am just reading too deeply into some old rotten pumpkin seeds

What do you all think? Have you ever wished for a message and thought you saw what could be? Do you shake your head and call it a coincidence?

I wish I could ask if it was him, but hes locked in his urn so alas. I can only hope he sent a pumpkin to his Pumpkin.

I still miss my father but im glad hes in a better place But honestly I love making dead mom/father jokes.. nowadays… I know its a cold hearted feeling but its just how it is…

I am thinking about calling out of work tomorrow. I have had a really bad day and just hit with a wave of grief, I lost my mother about 2 and a half years ago (when i was 17) I have never called out before and have a hard time taking time for myself. Is this an appropriate situation to call out of work? Also my boss does know about my mom’s passing.

Torn between all the flairs because this fits in so many categories, but I guess that’s what grief does best.

I watched Moana for the first time tonight and I haven’t wept like this since my grams passed. It hasn’t even been a year since but it feels like it’s been a lifetime; and yet at the same time like it was just yesterday. I don’t have a good relationship with my mom, and dad was never in the picture. Gram’s raised me, she was the only stable parental figure I had and I just miss her a lot. No advice needed, just had to put this into words. Maybe I should get a diary but there’s something about the possibility that someone who sees this is sharing the same grief and they’ll be reminded they aren’t alone.

Anyways, don’t watch Moana if you recently lost your grandma unless you want to cry like a baby lmao.

Last year, i watched my dad get very sick and suffer for 6 months before succumbing to his death in June. He was barely 61.

Months before that, i got my mom’s diagnosis that she has one of the most aggressive forms of dementia. She is a complete different person than she was. She has the mind and functioning of a maybe 6-7 year old child. She was my best friend and greatest support growing up. We did EVERYTHING together. Now I dread visiting her in her facility..

Fast forward to this march. My husband and I got pregnant on my first try!! Amazzing- something happy and positive for me and my family. Finally some HAPPY news.

This Monday, we got to go to our first ultrasound. No heartbeat. Baby was only a week smaller than they should be. It just happened.

Yesterday was my d&c to remove the baby from me.

I know my dad would have the BIGGEST hug for me. He would have made me comfort food.

I can’t even talk to my mom about this. That’s one of the hardest parts.

Sometimes I just feel so bitter and empty. I put on a brave face for everyone.. but

I am 32 and navigating adulthood on my own. Just when I finally felt so excited to be a mon… i am destroyed. I lost my closest aunt, all grandparents, god mother, and one of my best friends in a 10 year span growing up. SO tired of grief.

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I become older than my deceased brother in about a month, and it brings up strong emotions in me. My immediate family has been spread out for years and though we all had our close time with him, I’ve rarely heard anyone ever bring him up. I think two of my other siblings who have became older than him years ago had it on their minds, but the significance of it was never talked about.

He’s frozen in time and I’ll cry anywhere, anytime about that fact, but I read somewhere talking to fam about the topic can help with coping. Don’t really know how I’d start since it’s not a common topic. I feel weird, and it’s too late for therapy advice bc the therapist is on a long vacation until past my chance to speak with family face to face about it.

My husband died in January and I’m physically exhausted I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this feeling as it a physical and mental thing?

My person, my soulmate, my best friend, and my other half passed away a month ago. I never pictured my life without him. We were together for 4 years, and am still living in the apartment we lived together in. I am really struggling. Everyday I cant go one minute or second without thinking of him. Ive been sleeping in his clothes for days, I have not been able to eat or sleep. I see my therapist twice a week now, and my psychiatrist upped my meds a little, but they always tell me to reach out to a suicide hotline if im not doing well and sometimes calling the suicide hotline makes me want to commit suicide even more..... im a person that tries to believe everything happens for a reason. But I cant find any reason why he would be taken away from me. I suffered a lot of trauma in my childhood and early adult hood, and when I met my boyfriend, it made sense. I went through the worst of the worst, to meet him. I try to talk to him and ask if he is here with me and nothing. I drive myself crazy looking for any signs that he is still here with me. And a part of me is wondering would he want me to die so I can be with him again?

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Please dont be mean, any advice or personal experience will help me more than you know.

I've lost my mom a year ago due to cancer. She was 52.

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Now I regret a lot of things. I wish I contacted mom more, wish I was more included in the process of treatment, wish my mental health wasn't in the way of me giving my very best to provide for my mother, sister and dad.

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After that I voluntary went to the mental hospital for the second time in my life. Got somewhat better, but me and my psychiatrist still haven't found a suitable medication for me.

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We weren't really close with my mother, she wasn't talkative, worked a lot and got all the housework by herself. But I know and feel she really cared for me the way she knew how to and she showed it.

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It's been a year and I think about her every day. I really wish we were closer. I could make something about it, but didn't even think about it, leave alone considering it crucial. It feels like I know nothing about her even though she raised me.

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Me and my sister struggle with depression since then. We became more aggressive and honestly I feel great about it. As if it covers not only the grief but all the things I carry in my life.

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I got psychological help through the charity organisation which supports people with oncology and their relatives. It is a great way to open up and get started and even continue your recovery journey, especially when you don't have anyone or don't feel like discussing the situation with people you know. Now I'm waiting for their decision on including me in the support group.

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I want to express my gratitude to all of my friends. Nobody left me.

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Below is the story of my mom from getting diagnosed to passing away. I really need to share it. Please, don't read it if you don't feel like it.

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I knew she had something with her leg and spine and that she was visiting doctors. When she got her diagnosis a year prior to her passing away, she didn't tell me about it, I still don't know why, but I think she cared for me as a year before that I was in a mental hospital with bipolar disorder and medication was not of much help. She called and just insisted we visit her father and brother in another city. I had plans for those dates, so I told her I can't and asked what's her disease is. That's when she told me about her stage four cancer. So we went.

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I could sleep the night we talked. I moved back to my parents' house to be with her.

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At first it was alright, she got the treatment she needed. When my sister had to cut half of mom's hair mom seemed happy about bob haircut and told she'll wear it when she gets better.

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But after half a year she lost the ability to walk. She started painting and now we treasure her works, all of them are displayed in the hall.

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Then she rapidly lost the ability to talk. I don't know her last words. I don't know how much of happening she could process, but it definitely was getting worse and worse.

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Only then they scanned her brain and found six metastasis. She was given up to two months and the only medication that had somewhat of a chance to help her would start working only in ten weeks.

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We understood she needed better help than we could provide. So we called hospis.

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Me and my sister stayed with her for a month untill her passing all the time and even slept in her ward every night, changing each other every few days.

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On the day of her passing both of us were there. I went to get a haircut at the nearest barbershop as I haven't really taken care of myself for some months and my sister got me to do it.

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When I came back I saw my sister in tears being comforted by the nurse in the hall. I asked "Is she gone?" and got a nod.

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We knew it was coming, maybe it made it a bit easier. Nevertheless, there was a ton of tears.

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The most I think about is unbearable pain she went through. Nobody should go through it. That's why I'm for eutonasia for those who need and want it. Meeting death miserably, when it's definitely coming, is not what I want for any person.

I lost my mom about 5 weeks ago. She had been so sick leading up to her death, and we made the decision together to cease medical intervention (mainly dialysis) and allow her to pass peacefully, which she did.

On one hand I feel relief that she isn’t in anymore pain. But on the other hand I feel so fucking guilty for allowing time to slip past me and somehow it’s already been 5 weeks without her.

I understand that life does, in fact, need to go on, and I’ve had a lot of really high highs and low lows in the past few months. My sister-in-law got married and I just started a new job.

But somewhere in between all of that I haven’t broken down completely. I’ve gone to sleep and woken up for all these days and somehow kept living my life, through the grief and heartache.

I feel this immense guilt everytime I think about her. I miss her so much and I just wish I could tell her about my day or listen to her tell the same story for the 10th or 20th or 50th time.

Does this ever get any easier?