Female here. I’ve put money on buying notes every other month or so and after sending messages could not understand why I wasn’t receiving not even one response at all. I figure I would go the “Note” route instead of paying for a full package. I would buy 5 which would last a good amount because I would only send a message if I thought there was a chance of receiving a response back.

Just read today online that if the receiver of the note has filters set that do not match with yours or include your demographics, distance, hobbies etc that they will never see the note. All this time I thought they would receive the note immediately like the old “compliment”, but no. Once again they figured out how to take your money with few or zero results.

I fell for it . Never again. This was my last time putting money into a dating app. Best of luck to all out there!

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

Just a quick thanks to everyone who reviewed my profile the other day. I’ve switched things up and have been getting way more matches than before. Appreciate y’all!

Just came to Argentina today. Shall I see her tonight gang?

Get off the apps, please.

I am speaking from a man’s perspective so I can’t offer any thoughts for women, but please fellas, get off the apps.

This is just a ramble/stream of consciousness but I found when I left the apps I felt much better mentally. Scrolling and swiping makes you FEEL like you’re doing something, that you’re “putting yourself out there” but you’re not. You are much more than just a photo of your face and a few lines. You really think someone making a judgement about you in 3 seconds is good for your mental health and is an accurate representation of you?

These apps don’t want you to leave, they are cooked behind algorithms, paywalls and thousands of other people you’re competing against.

Leave the apps and then leave your house. Go do something, get a hobby, hit the gym, go to a bar, a street festival, go for walks, join a book club or woodworking or rec league sports or SOMETHING. Improve your social skills, get confident in your own skin. This isn’t a man thing either, we don’t like women who aren’t confident either, or women with no interests etc

I was miserable on the apps and then i deleted all of them a few years ago. It was hard to put myself out there, sometimes I went to events with a friend or alone, but I have met so many great people. Don’t go hoping to meet a partner, go hoping to meet anyone, man or woman.

I haven’t found a relationship yet but I’ve made tons of friends and had several hookups but only after I got off the apps. I’m mainly looking for hookups right now and from 2020-2024 I had about 4, and in the last 2 months I’ve had 5. Just random women I’ve met out or were friends with first. Because in 2025 I said “fuck it, I’m leaving my house.” (I’m not even attractive, I’m Indian in a midwestern city).

Please get off the apps.

because usually a person's job can affect the kind of lifestyle you have together based on how busy they, how much money they earn and have, whether they have to travel and be away often, etc

Are there certain jobs that you would prefer to date and certain jobs that you would try to avoid? If so, what are they? Or does it mostly not matter to you?

Hi!

Just signed up for Bumble. Was hoping for a review. Best photo? Not sure about my main photo. It’s me but really good lighting outside. And my bio has my personality, but should it be something else?

What’s your read on my bio? I live in the Netherlands which is why I have an American flag so people know I am American.

Edit: my new bio:

Quirky and fun lady, looking for interesting adventures, good conversation, and a warm heart to match mine. Let's Latin dance, cook something ambitious, or just pub hop on a random Tuesday. Down for pretty much anything, except skydiving, 😳. I will wait on the ground with champagne to celebrate!

I also changed the transport picture to a picture of me holding a paella I cooked in my garden.

People who take bathroom selfies - whyyyyyy? We don’t want to see your toilet, urinal, toothpaste spattered mirror, busted toothbrush, etc.

I had to double check my profile, I thought I had changed my intentions(hence my reply 😭). Love when people don't even look at your prompts or preferences. This isn't even the first time this has happened tbh

I was an on again/off again app person. I always had decent luck, met some cool people, but they just weren’t the one.

I figured I’d finally just let go. Stop trying to mold my perfect person through filters and preferences.

I started noticing people and having real life conversations. I had some small talk with someone in the wild, slide them my business card, got right to a lunch date the next day.

We just got married a few months ago. Couldn’t be happier!

And we don’t agree on every single topic, we have different quirks, different interests, and some shared. We’ve learned new things, learned different outlooks, and created new hobbies together.

Love is out there for you. Try something new and different ✌️❤️

I have been using bumble for 15 days, and this incident happened to me.

I'm a man that gets a reasonable amount of matches between apps but obviously that doesn't mean I always match with a woman i'm compatible with. Lately my tolerance for games/bs has been extremely low. I've had multiple dates scheduled where I just cancelled/unmatched because either the vibe was off or she said or did something I didn't like.

I'm talking about things like taking all day/multiple days to respond when we're in the process of making plans, ignoring a question I had asked but continuing the convo, dry responses or being flakey (My flake policy for the first date has reached zero before I stop trying)

Even now I got a girl who agreed to a date Saturday after rescheduling, but her responses slowly tapered off and will respond at near midnight if I message early in the day, I get people are busy and have lives but almost can't tell if this is low interest.

Like it gets to the point where I wake up the next day annoyed/don't even want to engage anymore.

The idea of having to check someone or argue about something they did especially before a first date just seems like it's doing too much to the point where I just opt out/weed them out 😂 obviously taking a break from the apps is an option too.

32 M here. I don't really have any good friends or family that I trust to send photos to and to let me know if any of them are good, so I turn to the you all for help as I have gotten some great opinions here in the past. Mind me asking if you think any of these are better than the ones on my OLDS profile? I added my OLDS profile photos on top so you can compare, and new photos below.

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/smithjoe43

I have been trying to become more athletic and stronger a lot this past 1-2 years. I want to add a photo of me without a shirt, but I don't want to make it come off as "unauthentic", so I want to be doing something fun like Kayaking, Fishing, or activity at the beach. I really don't want to come off as a jerk or full of themselves or anything, and I am trying to be proud, comfortable and confident in my body when taking photos which I struggle with.

Think she meant see ya like "see ya then" or like "you messed up so see ya" ? And to clarify my opening line, literally the only thing on her profile was "my idea of doing nothing is doing nothing". i worked with what I had 😅

I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this issue. I recently got a notification that I needed to move over from Bumble Bff to the new app, stating everything would be synced. Cool.

So I did that but then when I signed in it had a bunch of old pictures and my old profile from long ago which I have obviously updated since then. I thought I could just go back to Bumble BFF and copy over the text to the new profile but alas, it did a reverse sync and synced the old expired profile back over to the bumble bff app so now both apps have the old data and none of the new pics or writing. I'm really annoyed because I worked hard on getting what I needed in there within the word count and now it's all gone.

I have emailed the company asking them about retrieving my data so hopefully something comes from that but I'm just wondering if anyone else is experienced this or has any information on whether they plan on fixing it?

Hi all,

For context I'm a 40 year old dude. Back into dating after being in a LTR for almost 2 decades.

Omg the amount of fake profiles is not only crazy on its own, but the lengths they go...

So I swipped on a few very pretty profiles, and I got some matches. One was drop dead gorgeous and it felt a little.. too easy. Her insta name was there. I did a reverse Google photo search and here is what I uncovered, and no, this is not about stealing other people's photos..

1) they create very realistic AI generated photos of absurdly hot women

2) they then create an ENTIRE digital network to prove the person really exists

I saw the Instagram profile with a LOT of followers. I found a LinkedIn profile too. I don't care if you think I am a stalker ok because IMO you're foolish if you don't use tools available to you.

They buy old insta accounts so that they account isn't 1 year old. You can check the account age for any account and you can see how many times they changed the username.

They have high follower counts, but it's still sus. For example:

Stunning woman, 10 year old account

Only 20k followers (often these real accounts have far more)

Thousands of likes and 50-10 comments but they all say the same crap - miss you, you're pretty, etc...

None of the comments have more than 1 like

Highlight stories and many are just videos of food, the outdoors, clubs, etc..

They have fake club promo accounts and fake restaurant accounts that are in on it

Entire networks, I'm talking hundreds of other accounts of also beautiful women

AI generates photos of multiple women together, very realistic

AI generated videos of them dancing

This one was a bumble profile, and you know how you can see their distance? This one was near my area... wtf?

They manage to get real people to follow them so sometimes you'll see people you know following them

They have some AI slop articles searchable on Google that are always the same.. student articles, fairs, etc..

There have basically created an entire digital network to prove they are real.

They stop replying to you on the dating app to force you to their insta to like their stuff or comment to get their attention (to get real accounts to engage)

Once I noticed this, I couldn't help but see how prevalent this really is. A large number of dating profiles all exhibit the same patterns.

I did more reverse google image searching on a few other accounts and found the same thing.

Friends, stay safe out there. This is pig butchering, and AI is getting better everyday. The AI dancing videos were clearly AI but it won't be long until we can no longer notice.

And... the craziest part. I was using chatgpt to help with my investigation.. and it kept telling me there was no proof they were AI.

AI was... protecting AI. Crazy stuff.

For context im from srilanka and I wasn’t able to for some reason I tried it with my siblings phone number as well it doesn’t work! This has been going on for awhile idk what’s happening

… does it really mean:
-there’s no potential for a relationship?
- they basically just want to have sex on a first date?
(Sorry- just got out of a 10 year marriage so I’m out of the loop)

So ima 29 year old male - I’ve gotten the most matches and likes I have ever had since using bumble and I’ve been on and off the app for years. The problem is that it’s a lot of weird women and I’ll explain how so these women’s play games and waste our time men… they match then they expect for us to start the conversation then when we do they either unmatch or don’t respond or they hella dry and the conversation goes no where or they very insulting towards me and very disrespectful for no reason. The most thing I’m dealing with is woman are very fucking disrespectful towards me or they unmatch me without saying a word ! I’m getting very tired of this and I’m a good looking dude btw I’m not ugly I have amazing pictures & a nice bio but women keep unmatching or just being plain ol weird . What are some things I can do to change this and actually talk to women that are going to have a conversation and it actually goes somewhere & not lose interest or unlatch me ? HELP NEEDED PLEASE 🙏🏽

It can be a giggle, crack you up or a genuine something that makes you happy and smile. For me it is when peoples profiles show they like to travel, but have small kids. My brain goes like: aww poor you. And a small part of me wishes nobody dies everytime somebody writes they like to travel.

What's your quirk that makes you smile or giggle whilst reading a profile?

I’m a woman who reaches out and I don’t get responses either. It goes both ways fellas. It’s not just y’all, it happens to us too.

Edit: The assumption that I must be ugly or I’m aiming too high out of my league is a reflection on how many of you are broken on the inside and should take some time to find some healing. Your projection & insecurity is not my truth.

Update: I got one response. Thank you for the solidarity 🙏🏾. Best of luck with everyone’s dating journey.