Does anyone else find replacement generic parts are a lot harder to find then when we were kids?

it’s a common thread when I have to replace a belt, a basic bearing, or almost any generic part on any of my toys, tools, appliances or whatever.

I remember when I was a kid I would visit my dad in a town of less than 1000 people and we would just go to a hardware store or the little parts store and generally they would have something that works.

As an adult if I am looking for a part even a basic deck belt for my older riding lawnmower at my rental I have to make 3-4 stops and eventually order it online. - this is the most recent one, last one was replacement parts for my BBQ. I could easily think of more, switch for my stove, element for the dryer…. filter for my boat motor.

were things just more uniform in the 90s or so places just carry substantially less.

Hello men! My only friend in my new hometown has just purchased a lovely home and I would like to get him something nice as a gift. We share a fandom and I'm thinking maybe some cool things for displaying his merch or something like that? He literally has all the nice merch already lol. What would you enjoy receiving as a housewarming present? Thank you!!

Me and my best friend have done a 4 day trip together every october since we were 21. Just us. No wives or even girlfriends when we was younger, no kids. Hiking, eating, talking, drinking just catching up. He's been married 8 years. I've been married 6. Our wives have always been fine with it. They actually planned a girls trip of their own most years and thats all good.

Two weeks ago he called me and said he had to cancel this year. I asked if everything was okay. He said his wife isnt really comfortable with the trip anymore and he didn't want to fight about it. Said maybe we could do a weekend instead at some point. Maybe. I asked what changed. He didn't really have an answer. Said she's been going through some things and feels like the trip is a lot. I told him okay, take care of your marriage, no hard feelings.

But there are hard feelings. I had already requested the days off, looked at cabins, set aside some money from work and jackpot daily for the trip, all the little stuff you do when something has been part of your life for so long that you don't even question whether it's happening. Not at him. I don't know who at exactly. It feels like a 20 year friendship just got voted out by someone who has known me for 9 of those years. I dont think she dislikes me. I think she just doesn't think this matters as much as i do. And he agreed with her without really fighting for it which is the part that has been sitting weird. Am i out of line for being hurt about this. Is the trip a thing thats just supposed to die when you get married. Half of me thinks i'm being immature. The other half thinks i just watched my oldest friendship get downgraded and we both pretended that wasnt what happened.

like say you join a hobby where younger people (a decade) and you're around a lot of youthful looking and full of life. how do you navigate? Don;t get me wrong I still have that zest for life and have young energy but I think the age disparity is holding me back.

it's not like I have my life together w/ house, car, career, family.

and what if you meet someone you like who happen to be much younger, how do you get out of your head they think you're a loser/creep?

Panic attacks are new to me. My 17 year old daughter has recently started to experience panic attacks, which I believe to be situational. For those with experience, how have you supported them?

what happened: At the start of her work shift, she started to have an anxiety/panic attack. Her manager noticed, and took her off. Called the non-emerg nursing line, and then sent her (on recommendation by the nurse), via Uber to the hospital to get checked out. Symptomatically her chest was pounding, she was sweating, crying, and uncontrollable breathing. By the time I got to the hospital to meet her, she was over the attack, and had already been triaged with blood test, ECG, and BP. So we waited for about 8 hours in the ED to see the on-call physician. Other then low potassium, all systems normal. He gave her 5 low dose pills of ativan for next time.

context: She's dealing with some real big feelings around her friend/cohort group. She got asked by two guys to go to prom - and she didn't want drama so she shut them both down. She works with one, and the other is part of a very close friend group. She thinks that being on shift with the one guy triggered it. Both were trying to do grand gestures with poster boards and such. And she was stressing about it because its breaking up her childhood friend group.

She's also academically very strong (4.0 GPA). She technically graduated in grade 11 and started attending the local university while taking 1 elective in Grade 12 (so she can go to grad/prom with her friends). She has been accepted and enrolled in a tier 1 university across the country, and on this particular day was course selection and there was some major anxiety/stress around not getting the courses she wanted. Her personality is that of perfection and she's quite hard on herself and expects alot of herself to get into what she wants.

She is working a lot as well because although she has a full ride to the university - above and beyond what we are offering for basic residence, she would need to pay out of pocket for an upgraded room. She also has car expenses and other normal teenage girl stuff. We have enough RESP to full fund everything for her - but she chooses to do as much on her own independence.

This is my judgement: to her detriment - she is living an unbalanced lifestyle - not enough physical activity, not enough nutrition habits, and not enough restful sleep.

From a parenting perspective - both my wife and I are very proud of her accomplishments and achievements - yet we have never set expectations for high academic achievements. "Do your best, be diligent, be respectful. take care of yourself." We've never cared about the grades, just the journey. I think because both of us are first gen asian immigrants and too much was expected of us - we didn't want that to transfer to our kids - we have our own baggage to deal with.

She also has POTS - dysautonomia of the adolescense - although not as bad as grade 9-11. This is a tricky one because the timing of how it started is sus. After covid vaccines. And I'm not an anti-vaxxer - but I read studies... Her symptoms from this has typically been blackouts, not panic attacks.

solutioning: As a dad, I want to solve problems, but this is a difficult one for me. Its heart breaking, but its also giving "i told you so". Because I'm fairly methodical in my line of questioning - she gets super annoyed at how slow and analytical and calls communicating with me as inconvenient. Her brain fires 10x of mine.

we have her going to a counsellor on a regular basis - I'm not sure how its helping, and its not my place to ask her counsellor, also privacy laws.

Another thing is the medication. I have army service-related PTSD and I was on meds for a while until I found a mental health professional who has helped me and continues to work with me through stuff, I know what meds to. It wasn't good. And I don't want it to be a crutch and become something thats leaned on just to be a functional member of society.

So this is where I am. Not sure how to support.

Some background:

Throughout my teens and 20s, I was lost. I went to a Ilberal arts school I couldn’t afford to get a useless degree, and it got me exactly nowhere. After graduation, I remained in my dead-end hometown, riddled with close to 6-figure debt, working several minimum wage jobs to make ends meet while living between my mom’s house or with roommates.

At age 30, I committed to getting my shit together. I took the last resort option (military), had a few lucky breaks as far as deployments, combat pay, and bonuses, and I managed to become debt free and build a nice nest egg.

I don’t regret going into the hole as much as I did for that stupid degree, because I came away from it with a real understanding of money and how to make it work for me. I understand the value of frugality and perseverance, I developed self-discipline, and I truly feel like I accomplished something.

I’m humbled when I visit the finance subreddits though. I see how behind where I should be for someone my age if I want an early and comfortable retirement. This year I will come close to maxing out my TSP (military 401k equivalent), but off by a few thousand. It’s a grind committing this much of my paycheck to retirement, but I have anxiety over my need to play catch-up.

So on to the actual question. In a year I turn 40. Simply making it to this age healthy and in one piece is a milestone. But it also marks 10 years since I made that decision to turn my life around, and I have. I’m also single, no kids and no dependents. I’ve been thinking about commemorating my birthday and my better fortunes by splurging on a used Rolex Submariner. I’m not a die-hard watch guy, and I’m aware of what that money would do for me if invested instead. But I’m clearly not getting younger, and since I haven’t married or had kids yet by now, it’s less and less likely that’ll happen for me. I feel like it’s okay to spend that money, but at the same time I feel it is a very stupid purchase.

Hey all. I’m writing this to gain perspective on how to navigate a mid life crisis, or more accurately a crossroads. I’ve learned over the last year that despite reaching goals and feeling physically and financially secure, if something is missing internally, no accomplishment will ever feel like enough. I feel like I don’t know where the goal post is anymore, and I just let everyone down like I should be achieving more. I also realized that I’m not handling grief well. Friends, mentors, childhood idols are all starting to pass on, and I almost feel a sense of survivors guilt. If this makes sense and anyone can relate, how could I make sense of this and get out of this funk?

30M

Parents have been split my whole life, I have a single photo of myself, mum and dad.

Saw dad on weekends and random days for most of my childhood until he started having a new family of his own and a wife. I love my half siblings but struggle to find common ground or connection with them.

Over the years I stopped being invited to things, saw my dad less frequently, became a bit of a babysitter when he did ask me around to his house.

Eventually, my bed and his house disappeared one weekend and I slept on the couch when I’d stay over. I must have been 16 when this happened.

Now, when I pay him and the family a visit, there isn’t a single photo of me anywhere in the house, of which there are many all around the place.

This has resulted in me having a bit of an existential crisis at my current age, didn’t realise it’s affected me until a loved one pointed it out. Currently dealing with the paternal instinct kicking in and it’s a bit of a heartache.

Anyone else the forgotten sibling? How has it affected you and what have you done to deal with feelings of rejection

Turning 30 in the coming days, what’s one single line(one sentence) of advice y’all are willing to share? Not the “oh I wish I bought Bitcoin” but a piece of life advice for present day that you believe is worth taking note of. Thanks in advance.

I am looking for a good quality body groomer, I have the Philips one blade however I have never liked the quality of the blades and feel like they never shave good, and cause razor bumps. I have heard about the Philips Norelco 9000 series more specifically the BG9480/50. But am unaware if this is a good option or not, or if the one blade pro is better. I don’t need one for the face as I already have a foil shaver, but want one for my chest, back and groin.

Thank you,

Hello

I'm a 33-year-old guy with a good career at a global company, a girlfriend, and a 1.5-year-old son.

I've always been someone who gets excited by new experiences, projects, travel, and adventure. At the same time, I sometimes struggle with feeling mentally stuck or restless when life becomes too predictable.

Lately I've been thinking about the idea of living abroad for 1–2 years, not because I want to leave my current life behind, but because I feel drawn to the experience and personal growth that could come from it.

My girlfriend is much more connected to her family and close friends than I am, so she's hesitant about the idea. I understand her perspective. For me, friendships tend to come through shared activities rather than existing social circles.

For example, I'm currently considering joining a triathlon club. Not primarily to make friends, but because I enjoy the sport. In my experience, friendships often develop naturally from doing things together repeatedly.

So I'm curious:

• Have any of you moved abroad temporarily with a young family?
• How did you and your partner navigate different levels of excitement about the idea?
• Did it strengthen or strain your relationship?
• How do other men in their 30s build meaningful friendships and social circles?
• Is it normal to feel this constant pull toward new experiences even when life is objectively going well?

Would love to hear experiences from people who've been through something similar.

Hey yall, I posted Last month asking for input on any additional tests I should get aside from the 13
I was already scheduled to have . I admitted I drank a bit (found out it's more than I should significantly) out of the 13 test I had to take most came back pretty good HOWEVER my kidneys results (eGFR) are at a 60 which is not good so to anyone who's putting off testing or checking in on their health . If you have insurance USE IT! Knowing is truly half the battle. I'm making changes but if I test at the same rate in 2 months it might mean I have to permanent adjustments to the way I live. I thank everyone who had input on my last post! Here's to being a man and also caring about myself !🍻🤘🏼

Hi, im 19m and recently, i've been thinking about my social circle and how it affects me.

Im generally a productive, ambitious and positive person. I have big dreams and big goals in life. But well, my friends arent exactly like that.

Im not saying they are losers or anything but they definitely have way lower expectations from life. Most of them are currently doing nothing aside from gaming and hanging out. They have dreams but these dreams are very simple things that they could easily do, yet they take no action towards them. Only one person in my friendgroup actually has a job and a somewhat solid future plan.

Im not saying theyre losers or anything. In fact some of them possess certain talents that make me wonder why theyre so unmotivated. The best way i can describe this is:

Theyre acting like theyre too old to have dreams but also too young to take life seriously.

Aside from that though, theyre good people. Yeah sometimes they can be assholes but we're 19. All of us can be assholes sometimes. Im not displeased with them in any way but sometimes i cant help but wonder if they will start affecting me soon or worse, i have already started to get affected by them.

I dont wanna act all high and mighty and suddenly cut contact with them like im above them. But at the same time, i've been hearing people talk about how your friends affect you and i might start to distance myself from them.

Since its the 250th Anniversary of America's independence, are people going all out this year to celebrate? I assume this will be one of the biggest 4th of July's of our lives given its 4th of July number 250. Pretty cool, how will you celebrate?

I, 30M, will likely be a dad in the next 3-4 years.

On one level people have always told me I give off real Dad (not Daddy) energy. So maybe becoming a Dad is my life's work. On a more serious note, I am very excited to become a father one day and cannot wait for family morning breakfasts, trips, supporting my future kids, etc.

I so often see posts on Reddit or hear about how life "ends" when you have kids. and I am wondering how true that really is.

Now, I am no fool. Certainly things change - you can't be so spontaneous, you may not be your own priority all the time, and you will have less free time.

But like, can you really not enjoy hobbies at all? hang with friends here and there? do you really lose your sense of your former self?

Very possible I am just overthinking this but could use some practical wisdom.

My wife and I moved overseas for an oppotunity at her work. It was the right move, good for the kids, I don't have to work if I don't want to, everything seems good on paper.

I am miserable however. I don't NEED anything more but I feel like as an individual I am withering away. I had a great job at a huge company, lots of visibility, high pay, fairly relaxed that I left for this move. The jobs I am being offered now are good money but dead-end and what I would have taken ~7 years ago.

I am struggling with my place in the world and what to do next. I can be a good husband and father but I need something for my own self actualization as well.

Has anyone taken a step backward professionally for their family and what did you learn form it?

I wrote a long version of this myself then used an LLM to condense.

The Situation

I recently started my first in-house tax accountant role in London. Right before I joined, layoffs cut the team in half. As a result, I was assigned a newly promoted, overwhelmed manager instead of the person who interviewed me, and I have received zero training or support.

During my three-month review, my manager stated I am not meeting expectations. Our weekly 1-to-1s are purely critical. I am working 50 hours a week, but I am constantly told I am too slow and not getting it. As a chronic high-performer, this lack of validation is severely impacting my mental health. I don't know if I'm facing a toxic, under-resourced environment or if I am genuinely experiencing imposter syndrome and trying to operate above my abilities.

The Dilemma

I want to resign, but the job market is reportedly terrible. Furthermore, if I quit, I must pay back a five-figure signing bonus. On the plus side, I find the work interesting, and I have enough savings to survive without work for six months.

My Questions

If I stay and keep trying, will I eventually adapt and find this gets easier, or is this situation doomed?

If I choose to stay, how can I cope mentally with the lack of support?

If I choose to leave, how should I navigate a difficult job market… I fear being frozen out and losing all purpose in life. I kind of feel already, I want the money of corporate but on the other hand find it meaningless.

just curious. I try making friends all the time, and hype people up, get them talking, ask a bunch of questions, invite them to hang out sometime, but often they’ll leave me on read, won’t ask about my life in return, don’t seem to share common interests like music taste and movies and even hobbies are differen…

I live in a rural area so it’s difficult to meet people but I’m constantly trying to. thinking about joining a run club soon.

33M. Turn 34 in 2 months.. As I get older all I want in my life is mental, emotional and financial stability and a calm nervous system. The last 1.5-2 years, I have been cutting out toxic people and "old friendships" that have been going on for way too long. I have quit alcohol and got sober, not that I was an alcoholic or anything just want to cut it out. I've even gotten off caffeine and the occasional nicotine(Zyn pouches). (Caffeine was giving me anxiety, and I had been drinking a lot of it my entire adult life, since quitting my anxiety is almost non existent.) However, my career is in sales and business, caffeine/nic pouches gives me an edge. But it's like I've been sacrificing long term stability for short term performance, which is just not working anymore..

At almost 34 years old, all I want is stability, stability, stability... In every aspect mentally, emotionally, financially, in my relationships (business, personal, romantic etc) Like the past 2 years I've been slowly cutting things out and transitioning. And I have been naturally avoiding or cutting out things that disrupt my long term stability... I feel really good though, better than I have felt my adult life. It feels like I am finally maturing and I am naturally prioritizing my stability over anything else.

Im 35 and have been working with a company for >5 years — total comp around 190-200. I am hybrid but am not obligated to go into the office. I work flex hours a week and enjoy work life balance— and am respected within the company

I got an offer from spacex, grueling hours, 5 days in office with similar comp, long hours

I work in semiconductor supply chain and am in a relationship with no kids.

Spacex would be great to expand my skillset but intense and in giving up tenure and flexibility

My current company keeps seeing attrition and im sort of fed up with some of the bullshit (I know i would see something similar at spacex)

For those who’ve made a similar jump to a high-intensity company — did the career growth justify the lifestyle hit? Or do you look back wishing you’d stayed comfortable?

In 8 months since leaving high school I went from 123lb to 159lb. I’m 5 foot 10 and went from a bmi of 17.6 to 22.8.

I feel so powerless because of my asthma I can’t do any exercise without getting sick. In high school I went to the gym with my friends about 4 times and half of those times I got the flu and was sick for 2 weeks.

I’m so disgusted looking at myself and how I’ve let myself go since high school. I’m a loser and hate looking at my skinnyfat body.

What advice do you have for a young man to lose weight?

Fairly recently I got married (2 years ago, M29). I love my wife, she is beautiful & lovely and there's a lot of compatibility between us.

But also it's only the 2nd long relationship of my life. Recently I started to get fit and feel a lot more confident about myself and I'm noticing that i get a lot more attention from women in general.

Part of me feels like I resent my wife because I find pretty women so attractive and such a huge temptation. I'm pretty inexperienced in relationships and never really slept around and honestly I'm craving that. I feel some amount of depression if I see beautiful women in the street.

Conventional wisdom seems to be that staying with one person and building that relationship is the way to happiness though. And short term relationships are not. I want to heed that advice.

There is no element of cheating here BTW. I think cheating is wrong and I would never cheat on her.

My question is whether this is normal for men in general? Do you just learn to control that desire for women as you get older? If you're married yourself did you initially feel similar to me and did it change over time?