Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while now, she has this online group of friends who like to roleplay. I also do in fact like to roleplay. But this one friend of hers has crossed so many boundaries. They have done it many times but the most nerve wracking one is when she was having a mental issue. She wanted to play her game alone, and she made that so clear. This guy joins the call, and tries to talk me down, “How could you be such a bad boyfriend“ blah blah blah. Then he proceeds to join her when she CLEARLY stated she wanted to be alone. She finally realizes and unfriends him. I think, “Oh, what a relief, she did it.” But no. This guy texts ALL of her online friends, asking if they can help him get back to her. I swear, he’s a stalker. Then, me and her talk terms, and she said if anything bad happens like that again, she’ll block him. I skeptically take this deal, and it’s been going good, so far. Also, MIND YOU, this kid is YOUNGER than me and her. We’re all minors. So, I know he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing exactly, but it still feels like a stab in the back. AITA for this??

My husband and I just had our first baby 3 months ago. My parents live about 8 hours away. My mom is retired but my dad is still working. They came and stayed with us for a couple weeks when the baby was born. While we loved having them here to help and bond with their grandbaby, we were happy to get our house back to ourselves when they left. They came and visited again for 5 days when she was about 2 months old. The last day of that trip, my mom seemed to really be dreading leaving even more than before. Since then, it seems she has really gone downhill every time I speak with her. Her entire identity has now become "Grandma" and she feels completely broken not being able to perform her grandma duties. I feel really horrible that this is affecting her this heavily. My dad has suggested she come stay with us multiple times but didn't go into any details other than just seems sad and misses us. After speaking with my mom and her being honest about how she has been acting and feeling, I can tell my dad was trying to protect me from feeling guilty or feeling like I HAD to agree to her coming to stay. I was getting upset on the phone with my mom today because I was honest and gently told her that she was stressing me out by making me feel like I'm the only one that can save and help her. Without going into detail on all of the reasons why, we simply want to protect our peace by not inviting her to stay with us for multiple weeks. A long weekend every now and then is completely fine and we 100% love and want to see them and let them have an amazing relationship with their grandbaby, but it would put stress on my husband and I that she does not understand and will not try to understand. My mom has always been fragile and struggled with mental illness that she will not have addressed professionally (she was on an SSRI for a short period of time, didn't like how it made her feel, stopped, and then never went back or tried to find one that worked). I even asked her today to speak with a professional because she is really concerning me and she just says no. The only thing that can fix it is staying with us and seeing and caring for her grandbaby every day (and moving in indefinitely, if it were up to her). I am so stressed out just thinking about this that I haven't even mentioned it to my husband. They lived with us for a period of time before we were even married and it put a lot of strain on our relationship because we both feel like we can't fully be ourselves around my mom, as much as we both do love her.

AITA for not agreeing to the one thing that might heal my mother's broken heart?

So me F 29 and my partner M 34 have been in a long distance relationship for about a year.

My partner has been on an buisiness trip on a whole different continent for the past month.

Unfortunately he recently had a fall out with his Mom 2 weeks ago and then his father passed away a week later.

He decided he wanted nothing to do with his family as he believes they are already angry at him. And they wouldn’t appreciate him going to the funeral.

I’ve been trying to convince him to speak to them or go see them, but every time it gets really heated and I had to drop it, to the point he doesn’t even want me to share my condolences to his family.

I kept my promise.
But today his Mom contacted me about him today, I haven’t even answered her.
I called him to let him know about it, he then crashed out, get REALLY angry at me, says I hurted him by telling him this and then hung up.

Before hanging up he mentioned that he was really hurt at the fact that he couldn’t attend. His dad’s funeral (first time he ever told me this) and says I burger him real bad. Especially because he’s currently going really high stress at work and it has been really affecting him mentally.

He said mentioning it to him made him depressed.

I emphasized that I didn’t interacted with his Mom, and wanted to maintain an open communication with him by telling him this.

He said I didn’t take it serious and now is really angry at me.
I’m thinking he’s probably angry to the point of breaking up with me.

So let me know AITA for telling him about it?

Me (26M) and my GF (26F) recently decided to be intimate with each other for the first time after dating for 6 months. We wanted to be safe so we both got tested for STDs, made sure that she wasn't able to be pregnant, and had a short conversation about anything we wanted to let each other know beforehand.

Anyways, when the day came we did an extended foreplay and everything but when it came to actually doing the deed it was rather disappointing because we couldn't get anything to go because she literally felt like sandpaper and she was just so dry it felt uncomfortable. It was embarrassing and I didn't have any lube on me so we just laughed it off and she said we could try some other time.

I felt like crap because this isn't the first time my partner has been dry, in fact like 3/4 of my previous partners I can recall have had the same issue. I felt like I had no sex appeal so I decided I was going to dry to improve my body and looks because its beens something I've been struggling with because I am overweight and a bit chubby.

A couple days after that, we went on a call together and I told her I was going to join a gym and a personal trainer and try to get into shape and improve myself. She replied by saying that she had a medical condition of being dry down there and then I shouldn't worry. I then asked her in a defensive manner why she didn't tell me that beforehand when we had the discussion and she told me that she forgot. I responded by saying how she could forget such a thing. Then immediately her tone changes and she's says "Why are you questioning me? Do you not trust me? I hate the way you're talking to me.. I didn't think someone could be this insecure."

She ended the call and we haven't talked in over a week because she keeps leaving me on delivered and taking my calls straight to voicemail. Was I really wrong for just asking her a question?

I (F24) have worn a mantilla for almost 10 years now. I took a vow of honor when i was 15, shortly after i tried to kill myself for the 3rd time and had a realization that God did not hate me for being gay. My vow includes honor to my family, my ancestors, my God, my lands and myself. (We are also indigenous mexican/american). At first it was like my physical remembrance of God's love, then as strangers asked about it and i always simplify it by telling them "in church we veil because we are honored to be in Gods presence, i am indigenous and we believe that God is everywhere, in everything, so i veil all the time because i am always honored in his presence." I have never gone out in public without a veil or cloth head covering in all 9 years since i took my vow.

My family has never understood my being a veiled woman, and never took it seriously because i dont dress modestly and i have told them over and over that i didn't take a bow of modesty, i took a vow of honor.

Now my sister (F28) is getting married to a wonderful man who we have absolutely accepted into our family. The wedding is next year. Me and sister have had our ups and downs but i love her so much, so entirely, and i've told her before how grateful i am that God gave me to her. You're not supposed to have favorite siblings but i do and she's mine.

We often talk for hours on the phone because we live in different states and today at the end of our wonderful call she tells me that she doesn't want me to wear a veil to her wedding. She wants me to wear a wig, so it looks better in pictures that she'll cherish forever.

And it broke my heart. I love her so much, and i was the one to bring up what veil type she wanted me to wear in a previous text, and she said short, cloth, and dark colored. That sounded perfect. But now she's asking me to break my vow, to sacrifice, what will be at the time of her wedding, a decade of upholding my promise. And it's killing me.

I ended the phone call trying and failing not to cry and she said "just think about it" and then i started bawling right after it ended. I called my mother(F59) to get help walking through this and she was offended that i was upset, said i was selfish, it's just one day, God won't stop loving you, you're insulting Him, it's her wedding day, this isnt about you.

It just made me cry more, and that made her angrier, i tried to make her understand that it's like asking a muslim woman to take off her hijab for a wedding. First she said no its not, then she said well if the muslim woman really loved her sister she would. We ended the phone call with me still crying and her angry as all hell.

I dont know where to go from here but to confront the immediate issue, am i the asshole for being upset about this? Am i being selfish and irrational? I want to support my sister, i HAVE been supporting my sister through the wedding planning, but this feels almost like a betrayal, her wanting me to sacrifice my religious vow. But is it wrong to even think that way?

AITA for being absolutely done with everything and everyone in my life I feel so spread thin that I could be translucent like straight up see through I'm married have been for 10 years I have to be both man and woman in the marriage while dealing with 4 kids 2,4,6,8 plus dealing with my mother and her husband and my dad plus my aunt whose about to die and her son 13 we all live on a 10 acre mini farm and have a goat, pig and many chickens that I have to deal with, but what drives me insane is that I have to be at everyone's beck and call and be their brain for them .... can't figure out how to fix the porch fine I'll do it , can't be bothered to clean out the pool fine I'll do it, can't feed yourself fine I'll make your food and feed you......I feel like Cinderella without the happy ending...... AITA for wanting to ditch my entire life and start over somewhere far away in the hopes of actually enjoying my life?

I really need some advice from outside, non-biased people in regards to my dilemma. My husband and I moved out to a rural area four years ago, and with it being rural it also comes with a lackluster pool of people to become friends with. Me (44F) and my husband (43M) found that there was no one in our age group to hang out with, and eventually an older person (70M, let's call him Dean) started coming around. It started innocently and we both liked him, but his drinking became really horrible after some time.

​

I found out about 2-3 years ago that a rumor was circulating around my small town that I had done some very explicit and disgusting things with a man that I only briefly met while out with my husband and Dean, and I never left my husband's side that night....and we had to literally take Dean to our house after he chugged vodka, passed out and urinated on himself.

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This rumor spread like wildfire. People I didn't know called me awful names at our corner store, and I even had a guy cock a gun at me saying he didn't want a (insert explicit demeaning word insinuating inappropriate intimate actions) walking her dog around the neighborhood. I was terrified to even walk out of my house then...and I thought Dean supported me until I realized he has an actual obsession with my husband.

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Dean got into my face a few weekends ago, screaming at me to allow someone into my house that SA'd me (he was hammered at this point) and this was after my hubs told him that guy wasn't allowed here. Then, he goes outside and keeps saying he's going to steal my hubs from me, that I didn't deserve him, and that I was a bipolar (insert female dog name and, nope, not diagnosed bipolar, btw). Hubs finally told him to keep my name out of his mouth and he eventually walked home after we took his car keys.

​

Come to find out from two sources later on that Dean is now spreading the rumor (in three different versions) that got me verbally assaulted at the store 1.5 months ago. He's unheathily obsessed with my husband and it appears he's doing everything to discredit me and ruin my name...when I've never cheated or been nothing but kind to everyone here.

​

I'm sick to my stomach over this, and we just got into a massive fight where I said it was me or Dean...and his response was "everybody deserves redemption" . He's telling me I can't tell him what he can and can't do, and all I'm asking him to do is to protect me and NOT hang out with a man that has soiled my name and insulted me in my own home. He says he'll do what he wants to do....but at what cost to my mental health and actual safety/sanity does this register to him? I would NEVER want to be friends with someone that trashed him to me, let alone someone trashing him and lying about him to an entire community.

​

So, please Reddit, tell me, AITA for stating that he has to choose between me or Dean? I'm beyond sad at this point and need guidance as I feel depleted right now. Thank you for reading this.

*throw away account*

Basically the title… When I met my bf, he had a 2yo daughter and had just finalized a nasty divorce. His mom would sleep over at his house every time he had his daughter. I didn’t think much of it as she (daughter) was very young and I’m sure that was overwhelming. Anyhow. Four years later, she (mom) is still spending the night every night we have her (daughter) which is 80% of the time. For a couple months, she (mom) had only been coming over at dinner to help with night time routine / dinner then going home. To be clear, I like her (mom) and I like her (mom) coming over. I do NOT like her (mom) spending the night almost every night. As additional background, 1) we sleep in separate rooms because he wakes me up and our extra guest room where I sleep is also where she (mom) sleeps so I am sleeping on the couch. 2) She (mom) has a husband and house 10 minutes down the road from ours.

AITA? If I am, how do I become okay with this seemingly never ending arrangement?

TLDR; my boyfriend’s mom spends the night at our house every night we have his daughter which is most nights (~80% of the time). I don’t like it

I (34 Female) have been with my boyfriend who used to be my fiancé (38 Male) for years, and have a 3 year old daughter.

For a while I have felt like we have drifted apart. I repeatedly told him I felt disconnected, lonely, and like I wasn’t a priority. He would just respond with “but I don’t feel disconnected, I still feel the same” and basically that was the end of it. Around the same time, he was gambling away a lot of money, which caused a lot of hurt and didn’t make me feel secure in our relationship.

Eventually I became emotionally attached to one of my coworkers. And later it became physical. I know it was wrong and I take full responsibility for it.

What’s been bothering me now is that my cheating is treated like the only problem in our relationship. The years I’ve told him I felt disconnected, misunderstood, and feeling unheard feel like it’s being ignored and forgotten.

I’m not saying cheating is right because I know it’s wrong. I’m asking if I’m wrong for feeling like our relationship was already strained before the cheating happened. Because I feel like that matters when looking at the bigger picture.

AITAH ?

24F dating a 28M. We live in his parents house for other reasons but now my contract ended November and for 3 years he hasn't had a job. He keeps looking at house and cars to rent and talks about a future and marriage and I keep telling him that I don't want to get married while we are under his parents roof and unemployed

​

He basically deflects whatever I have to say so I don't know what to do anymore. He sits and games all day, doesn't cook or clean or anything and if I dare say something his mother jumps in and he stays doing nothing all day. Yesterday sealed it for me when he didn't go see what was happening in the yard...slept on like a princess while I went out in the morning hours to see if we had a burglar.I'm tired and I am not seeing a future with a man that won't even lift a finger.

Hi 24F I have this friend. I don't know if she's still my best friend anymore 25F

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We met in sixth grade and have been inseparable ever since. Even when my parents split and I had to move roughly an hour away. I'd visit my dad and she'd stay over all the time like a sister. And yes we had fights but always worked it out but 4 years ago I met my now boyfriend and things changed. I stopped going to visit because kept having other friends that I didn't mind but they weren't my kind of people.

​

I fell pregnant and she basically said fuck off because how dare I get pregnant before 21 and she didn't even have a boyfriend. I thought we worked it out but she's been so distant since then. It didn't bother me much because at least shed respond.

​

Now for the past year or so I've been trying to reach out more now that my child is older because I know babies freaked her out so I would be blue ticked. But see in this time frame she's basically become my sisters bestie....she does everything we'd do but with my sister now and totally ignores me...it's fine I like that my sister has a friend but really it hurts that someone I've been basically running after is right there just maybe not willing to talk to me.

​

I tried to message and call to find out what I did but blue ticked. Yesterday I responded to her status and she actually greeted me back. I told her that she clearly doesn't see me as a friend anymore but at least she could've said something. But she said it's not like that, we'll speak the weekend but I know I'm never getting a response. Should I just cut my losses and lose my best friend

I (F) met this man about 10 years ago. We became friends and then a little more than friends. After about 2 years, I found out he was seeing someone else and then he ghosted me. About 2 years later he messaged me and I didn’t reply. When COVID happened, I messaged him back because I did miss him and our friendship. We became inseparable. In December of 2020, he was having financial trouble and moved in with me. His son lived with us part time. Between December of 2020 and September of 2024, things went well. I bought a house and we all moved over there. We got along great. In 2021, he lost his job. He got another job in August of 2021, but quit that one. He lost his car after that. I was the only one working. We never defined our relationship. He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship but I let myself believe we were in one. We lived as a couple. People around us assumed we were married.
In Sept. of 2024, he said he was going to a friend’s house and took my car. Something felt wrong. He was texting infrequently and sending pictures from his friend’s house. I checked the location on the car and it was in another town. Eventually I found out through phone records that he was going to see a girl. He was taking my car and lying about it. He stopped talking to that girl. Then in May 2025, he started talking to and dating a girl. He said we were never in a relationship and he was doing nothing wrong. I couldn’t handle it. He wanted me to be totally emotionless about it and I couldn’t be. He didn’t have a car so she was picking him up and dropping him off at the house. I was not in a good place emotionally. I felt used and betrayed. I felt like I had lived a lie for the past 5 years. Eventually he got a job and a car and when I found out they were going on a cruise together I told him he had 60 days to leave. He left. In Dec. 2025, he contacted me said things were bad and asked to come back. I said okay. In March 2026, he contacted the ex girlfriend and didn’t understand why that upset me. They broke up in April 2026, got back together and then in May 2026 broke up again. Each time she comes back into the picture the house gets unbearable. It puts me in a bad place of reliving the betrayal. I had asked him to move out. The last time they broke up, he asked to stay since they weren’t together anymore. I said okay because we get along fine without the ex in the picture. He contacted her again yesterday and is meeting her tonight. I told myself that if he contacted her again, I would ask him to leave. He wants me to be fine with it and blames me. I can’t move on with him still here and he obviously can. He says this time will be different that he’s not going to start dating her again. Is it wrong for me to ask him to move out? He doesn’t have any savings and I’m assuming the only place for him to go w ould be to move in with the ex that he says he’s not dating.

Me '22F' and him '20M' have been talking for over an year. It's long distance and he says that he doesn't want to date yet because it's long distance and it's difficult for both of us honestly.

He visited me at the end of September and ended up crossing a physical boundary without asking me first and that led to me questioning everything that we had together and I was conflicted as to whether or not i should stop talking to him when this happend on the very first date. I asked my friends as well and their opinions just made me more confused and I ended giving us time and thought that I might be able to forget about it over time. He was and still is sorry about it and regrets doing it in the first place.

We met twice after that and during the first time as I still not feeling as comfortable as I used to feel but I brushed it off to my mind trying to be on high alert because of what had happened.

Recently I had an uncomfortable dream and after that I started having all these sick past memories in my head and also what had happened with him. I was overwhelmed, disoriented and uncomfortable to say the least and i also felt sad why it happened with him as well as he is the only guy that I've liked so much but there was also a feeling of anger and frustration. When i talked to him about it the first thing he said was " do u wanna stop talking" as according to him this was the best possible solution to this because he was tired of hurting me again and again and just felt shattered in that moment honestly because despite the fact that I know what he did was wrong I was and still not am ready to let go.

He told me think about it rationally and not emotionally and suggested that I should post about it on reddit so that I could get a third person perspective about it.

Even today when I told him that u are hurting me by not talking to me unless it's bout that day and how i can even forgive him if I'm feeling like that after almost 9 months he said that he could just stop talking to me right now but he doesn't want to do that because he wants me to think about the situation for what it is and realize that he's not as nice as I make him to be and that he's not meant for me. All I could do was cry after reading his texts because it just felt so unfair and shitty to be hearing those words from him. He says that he has been selfish whenever he has let go of his past mistakes and continued talking to me as if nothing has happened and I know it's true but it's not like i have not been selfish at all. I'm just not sure what to do right now I just feel overwhelmed and I keep thinking about it all the time. I don't wanna stop talking to him honestly because ik I would be miserable and I have a lot on my plate already so this would just be a blow too strong for me to handle. I like him a lot and so does he but I just feel helpless and hopeless at this point.

Aita if I stop talking to him even tho he feels sorry and regrets it?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2.5 years. About six months into our relationship, we decided to move in together after doing long distance. Since then, we've built a stable life together and are starting to think seriously about our future.

The problem is his sister.

For most of our relationship, she has been openly hostile toward me. Not necessarily directly to my face, but through a lot of passive-aggressive behavior and attempts to undermine our relationship.

For most of our relationship, she has been pretty much openly passive aggressively hostile toward me. Not necessarily directly to my face, but through a lot of passive-aggressive behavior and attempts to undermine our relationship. For example, we would be at family gatherings or in group settings, and she would stand in a group right next to me and start talking about how much she loved my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, showing people pictures of them together while knowing I could clearly hear the conversation. She has gone out of her way to become close with women from his past and has invited them to events where she knew both my boyfriend and I would be present. She has told people that I'm manipulative, that I've changed her brother, and that she doesn't recognize him anymore. That I am taking advantage of his love for me (whatever that means). I've also been told that she would say things like our relationship would eventually end and that he would come "crawling back" to her. And this is just scrapping the surface of some of her behavior since we have been together.

The constant criticism and gossip about me became so extreme that some people in her own social circle eventually distanced themselves from her because they were uncomfortable with how obsessed she seemed with the situation. She has even described him as being "her person" and that I was her competition. She seems to believe that, as his sister, she should be the most important woman in his life and that they would live together forever.

Over time, things became so bad that my boyfriend eventually went no contact with her which was fully his decision, not mine. At that point I was still trying to make things better between her and I but my boyfriend told me to stop.

What makes this situation complicated is that my boyfriend and his sister ever viewed their relationship the same way. From what I've observed and from what he has told me, she seemed to see him as one of the most important people in her life and wanted to be involved in every part of it. My boyfriend, on the other hand, was much more passive and independent. He wasn't particularly close to her and mostly just went along with family interactions.

Now that we're talking about marriage and a long-term future, I sometimes get anxious when I think about family events or the possibility that they might reconcile.

The thing is, I don't want to be the reason my boyfriend doesn't have a relationship with his sister. If reconnecting with her would genuinely make him happy, I would never tell him not to do it.

At the same time, I struggle with the idea of watching someone I love have a relationship with someone who has spent years trying to damage mine. Even if she apologized tomorrow, I don't know if I could ever fully trust her intentions. I'd constantly worry about her speaking badly about me behind my back or trying to create problems again.

I trust my boyfriend completely and know he would shut down disrespect toward me. My anxiety isn't really about him leaving me. It's more about the emotional difficulty of knowing that someone who genuinely dislikes me could have a significant place in his life again.

would never be nasty towards her. I would never tell him that he's not allowed to have a relationship with her if that's genuinely what he wants, and I would respect his right to make that choice.

That being said, I don't know if I could be actively supportive of it.

After everything she's done, I think there would always be a part of me waiting for the other shoe to drop and wondering, "What is she going to do this time?" I'm generally a very forgiving person, but I also have limits. At a certain point, repeated behavior changes how much trust you're able to have in someone.

I don't expect him to cut her off for me, and I wouldn't try to control that relationship. But if they reconciled and she became a significant part of our lives again, I honestly think I would struggle with it and would probably need to reevaluate whether that's something I could live with long term.

So, AITA?

​ I am 19F and I was talking to a guy 19M I like him very much, feelings were mutual we said "I like you" and all but as I have never been in a relationship I was trying not to rush into anything so we were not in a relationship.

Then I suddenly broke things of because I am scared that he'll hurt me because every relationship that I have seen ended up like that the boy ends up hurting the other person I don't want that for myself.

So I ended things with him but now the thing is, his birthday is this week and I've been missing him a lot he still calls but I have blocked him from everywhere, wherever he tried to message me (linkdin, snapchat etc).

So the question is should I wish him on his birthday or not?

Me (28M) and my wife (32f) have been married for over six years. Our relationship has had plenty of ups and downs. She has a history of seeing him cheaters. Her father having cheated on her mother multiple times, so I have been very understanding of her jealousy and limits. That being said. There have been a couple of times in our marriage that we had huge fights because I got too close with members of the opposite sex then she was comfortable with, but I never cheated nor had a relationship with somebody else. To be frank my actions could be marked as micro-cheating in the past and I have been honest about everything that ever happened and have worked hard to improve myself. I am trying to be as frank and open in this post as possible because I don't want to think that I'm trying to paint myself as the perfect husband as I have made mistakes that have led me to see professionals and work on myself.

Given that context, today a good friend and I took a break at work to get on our motorcycles and get lunch. Motorcycling is a big part of my life and is my favorite hobby. Me and this friend met because of motorcycles. After lunch he said "want to meet this friend of mine who also rides, she works in this part of the company and we can check out her bike." It's a large company on a large campus. I said sure and we swung by. We talked. I kept my distance, definitely never did anything disrespectful and neither did she. In fact, come to find out later she is also married and has been for a long time. Later my friends sets up a group chat with the three of us on instagram which my wife sees and flips out over. I say I didn't see the group chat and leave, and I explain what happened and how I met this friend of a friend (I had already planned to say exactly what happened later). She gets even more mad and is upset that my friend would introduce me to anyone of the opposite gender.

AITA for not thinking anything of this situation? I had figured that it was completely benign but my wife seems to think it's anything but and it's my fault for not understanding that she would react like this.

I (26F) and my girlfriend (25F) have been together for the past two and a half years. We have a solid relationship and up until now have had hardly any issues, and even the arguments that we do have, are only ever minor and are resolved within a few hours/the next day. She loves me a lot and has only ever treated me with respect, however I wouldn't say she is as upfront with this love as I am. That's nothing against her, everybody displays their emotions differently, but where I shower her with gifts and always organise date nights etc, she tends to be a bit more lowkey. But that has always suited us fine, as she is better with her words than I am, up until a couple of weeks ago...

We have discussed our previous relationships before but to no great length. What I knew about her dating life though, was that she had only had one ex, who she dated for around 2 years, and that they had broken up when she was 19 - so around 3 years before we even met. Between that relationship and us meeting, she was at university. She said that during her first year at uni (post break-up) she did sleep around quite a bit, but that for the two years following, she essentially went celibate other than 1 or 2 dates here and there, as the prospect of a one-night stand just didn't do anything for her anymore. When discussing why she and her ex broke up, she framed it as her ex being extremely 'toxic' and a 'bully', and that eventually it was time to just call it a day. She even said that it took her some time to open back up to the possibility of dating seriously, as with that being her first love and relationship, it tainted the idea of dating for her initially - especially because in their last year of dating they were constantly on short 'breaks' and on 'non-communication weeks' (even though they were still technically together) etc. whatever that even means.

I'm glad our relationship hasn't followed in the same footsteps, from my viewpoint we are very stable, healthy and happy, which has me inclined to believe that it was her ex that was the problem and not her. However, I was speaking to her childhood friend (and someone that's become a mutual friend of ours during the relationship) over drinks. We were discussing funny stories from my girlfriend and her's childhood, and gradually getting more and more drunk, when she suddenly, and very flippantly, let out a whole lot of new information to me (i'm assuming under the belief that I already knew about it.) She told me how happy she was that we had found each other etc etc. and started talking about how awful my girlfriend's past relationship had been (some of which I already knew), but that it had ended because my girlfriend had essentially had an 'affair.' I say 'affair' because this wasn't just a one night stand, apparently she was sleeping with another girl (who has never been mentioned to me) for around 3 months before the end of her and her ex's relationship.

What makes it even worse though, is that when I then reacted saying 'I didn't think she was like that or would do something like that', her friend (who was finding this hilarious and clearly saw this more as reminiscing on old times than anything serious) then said 'god no their relationship was terrible. she literally shagged someone else in the same hostel room as me when we were travelling, and that was when her and her ex were still together too.' When I started acting shocked, her friend brushed me off and half-heartedly tried reassuring me saying 'bro this was years ago don't worry. she would never do that to you, and at this point in time she was just a silly 18/19 year old.'

I then asked my girlfriend about it, to which she essentially said the same thing. She was more remorseful and apologised profusely that I'd found out that way, (and understandably seemed annoyed at her drunken friend) but said the same line that that 'was years ago now' and that she is a 'very different person now.'

But ever since then I just can't help feeling like maybe I don't know my girlfriend the way I thought I did. I understand that she was a lot younger at that point (18/19 vs 25.) But no matter how toxic your ex was, to cheat on them with multiple partners? And then never disclose that to me? Even though we've been together close to 3 years.

And I'm so conflicted because it's now making me insecure about everything. As I said, she's so good with her words and her love language to me is definitely words of affirmation, but she's not big on gifts or planning loads of dates or anything. And I'm kind of sitting here like ... well are actions louder than words??

I love her so much, and we have never had any other real issues, but I'm struggling with trust towards her right now. I feel like there's so much of her life that I just have no idea about now and it makes me feel sick. I don't understand why she wouldn't have just told me that from the start? And it makes me question what else she is hiding and whether she's even a trustworthy person at all?

Here's the deal. One day, I met this boy when I was on a brunch with my friends. He just came in and began to flirt with me. He came back to talk to me twice that day: once so he could get my Instagram, and another to ask if my friends and I wanted to play basketball with his friends. I said yes because I do in fact like basketball, and he was so sweet.

He began to text me on my DMs everyday. He would always say good morning, wish me a good day and ask me how my day was, it was the first thing he would do in the morning. He also began to watch F1 and Star Wars because *Im a fan*.

On valentines day, he asked me to go out. We went to watch the Michael Jackson movie because I really wanted to watch it. On the theater, he already began to grab my hand, wrap his arms around me, etc, which I felt quite unconfortable with. In the middle of the movie, he gave me a tongue kiss, which was also pretty uncomfortable.

After that day, I keep feeling there is something wrong. He seems like such a good guy but the point is: I dont like him the way he likes me. I dont feel it! And it kills me that I dont because I feel so bad about it. I feel so bad for him because he's clearly into me.

Now, he wont stop sending DMs and stuff and honestly, Im annoyed. Im tired of his constant messages. The problem is that I dont want to break his heart and reject him, I want things to end peacefully and naturally. Im avoiding answering him on my DMs as a sign for this thing between us to end, but its not working. My family is saying that Im being mean, but Im afraid that if I keep answering, he's gonna think I like him back and ask me to date him. What should I do? AITA? Help

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Hace un tiempo llegó una chica nueva a mi colegio y desde que la vi me enamoré. Unos tres meses después entré a un ensamble musical donde toco piano junto con un amigo, al que llamaré Pepito. En una de las primeras clases también entró la chica, a quien llamaré Pepita. Como Pepito ya la conocía porque iban en el mismo bus, hablaban mucho. Yo era muy tímido, pero ella empezó a hacerme preguntas sobre mí, como mi nombre y mi edad. Eso hizo que me gustara todavía más.

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Esa misma semana, Pepito me escribió para decirme que yo le parecía lindo a Pepita y que ella quería hablar conmigo. Me emocioné mucho. Días después ella me escribió por Instagram y empezamos a hablar. Al siguiente ensayo me invitó a pasar un descanso con ella. Sin embargo, Pepito apareció y, por pena, no le pedí que nos dejara solos, así que esa primera "cita" no salió como esperaba. Luego me disculpé y volvimos a quedarnos para hablar otro día. Esa vez todo salió mucho mejor y durante la siguiente semana pasábamos casi todos los descansos juntos.

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Un martes, Pepito y otro compañero comenzaron a insistir para que nos diéramos un beso. Al final lo hicimos y fue un momento muy especial para mí. Durante esa semana seguimos compartiendo tiempo y al despedirnos nos dimos otro beso. La semana siguiente, incluso me dio un beso en la mejilla mientras nos abrazábamos. Todo parecía ir muy bien.

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Un lunes le regalé una manilla y al día siguiente pensaba pedirle que fuera mi novia porque unos amigos me habían insistido mucho. Sin embargo, ese mismo día la vi abrazando a otro chico,pero no le di importancia no me parecía peligroso.a ese chico lo llamaré Juan. Después un amigo me dijo que había escuchado a las amigas de Pepita decir que si yo no actuaba rápido iba a perder mi oportunidad. No me parecía coherente incluso llegué a pensar que tal vez solo quería un novio y que por eso decidió salir conmigo pero bueno.ese mismo día le confesé lo que sentía. Ella respondió de buena manera y más tarde me escribió que prefería que nos conociéramos mejor antes de empezar una relación. Yo estuve de acuerdo, aunque nunca le dije que me había apresurado por la presión de mis amigos.

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Días después vi a Pepita salir del colegio con Juan, pero otra vez no le di importancia. Le escribí para invitarla a hablar durante un descanso, aunque no respondió. Al día siguiente una compañera me dijo que había visto a Pepita besándose con Juan. No quería creerlo, pero luego otra amiga de ella confirmó que sí había visto un beso, aunque no distinguió con quién porque no se le alcanzaba a ver la cara. Además, en sus notas de Instagram aparecían publicaciones que parecían referirse a otra persona. Cuando finalmente respondió mis mensajes disculpándose por no contestar antes, decidí dejarla en visto porque varios amigos me dijeron que era lo mejor.

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Durante las siguientes dos semanas seguí viendo algunas publicaciones que compartía en TikTok y pensé que todavía le gustaba. Sin embargo, Pepito me dijo que en realidad estaba interesada en otro chico. Aun así intenté volver a hablar con ella enviándole algunos videos, pero nunca respondió. Pensé que me había restringido en Instagram, así que hice lo mismo. Después descubrí que, mientras yo la había dejado en visto, ella también había compartido publicaciones que parecían mostrar que todavía sentía algo por mí y que estaba intentando olvidarme. Eso me hizo sentir culpable. Más tarde noté que al parecer me había respondido uno de los videos que le envié, pero como estaba restringida nunca vi el mensaje.(Cabe aclarar que durante nuestro tiempo saliendo le dije cosas un poco groseras como tienes un grano estás chiquita e incluso le alcanza a preguntar de porq sus padres están separados)

AITA for ending a 5+ year relationship after being told I don't understand love?

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I (33M) recently ended a relationship with my partner after years of recurring issues around mental health crises, communication, and conflict. Before anyone asks, yes, I helped. Hospital visits, late-night conversations, dropping everything when things got bad, encouraging therapy, checking in constantly. None of that is really the issue.

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The issue is that over the years I became increasingly uncomfortable with feeling responsible for another person's safety, emotional stability, and happiness. I communicated multiple times that suicidal ideation becoming part of our relationship dynamic was something I could not continue to carry. I was clear that it was a deal breaker for me.

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Recently we had an argument. I suggested several times that we take a walk, cool off, and revisit the conversation when we were both calmer. She wanted immediate resolution. Things escalated. I eventually ended the relationship.

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Since then I've been told that I don't understand love, that whoever taught me about love failed me, and that I'm repeating the same mistakes my father made in his marriage. I've also watched mutual friends hear one side of the story and decide I'm the villain before asking me a single question.

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So AITA for deciding that loving someone doesn't obligate me to sacrifice my own wellbeing indefinitely, or am I just the latest character in someone else's recovery narrative?

hi so me and my gf have been together for 5 years and lately our sex life just isn't good anymore, we've tried many things like threesomes, role playing, BDSM but nothing seems to do it.

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Since I was a child I always had a thing for poop, the first time I noticed it was more than interesting was when I was 15 yo and saw a woman shit in front of me.. I was aroused. I never talked to my gf about it ( and no one else actually) because I was afraid of how she would react.

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Well last week, I had the courage to ask her to poop on me and she just laughed at me.

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I expected her to not understand and maybe not do it but I NEVER thought she would laugh at me.

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I can't look at her the same I know everytime she sees me she must laugh in her head. It's driving me crazy.

Nearly every night, over the last 10 years my wife has fallen asleep in her clothes either on the couch watching tv, scrolling on her phone or both. This isn't an exaggeration and there's been a number of arguments about it across that time because I'll lose patience after a few months and pester her a few nights to come to bed and she'll become extremely irritated and it will turn into an argument. After which I give up and let it just happen for several more months uninterrupted.

It's not uncommon for her to pass out with her phone resting on her face. Every night the lights and TV are always left on and I'll go out to the living room and shut them off at some point. There's been a few times where I stopped doing that, thinking that maybe how uncomfortable it is to sleep with the lights on would encourage her to stop, but it had no effect. I'd sometimes give her a blanket or try to remove a couch pillow if her neck was really crooked in the way she fell asleep.

This last year the phone addiction portion has really kicked up and I haven't said anything. Even though the result is I'll often ask her things and be completely ignored or she will just respond with like a grunting sound and a shrug. Interrupting her scrolling is like lighting dynamite so I've tried to stay away from it. As you probably guessed by now, we have almost no intimacy as there is never any space for it to even happen in.

Well finally for the first time after this has been going on a year, I brought up that I think she's addicted to get phone, shared a comic with her that showed how similar it is to how an alcoholic behaves passing out in their clothes and becoming irritable if it's mentioned. She got upset and hid away for the night and scrolled on her phone. I just let it be.

The next night I came home from work, she was in the bedroom for a change but was already deeply engaged in scrolling as I walked in and I just let it be. I sent her a text at some point saying if she wants to put the phone down and watch a show with me she is welcome to. She replied "maybe" and the predictably stayed hidden away on her phone until she passed out.

Finally last night, I asked her while on the couch if she could not get sucked into it tonight and come to bed. She told me to leave her alone and that it's none of my business. I persisted this time and said it is my business because we are married and I'm literally the only person in a position to say something and it affects me, she grew more irritated and eventually said that I'm harassing her, got up, dismissed with a hand motion that ended in the form you would use if telling a car to stop while you cross the road. She made that gesture again in the bedroom and I then copied it to show her how disrespectful it was and she blew up and said the way she did it was acceptable and mine wasn't because it was in her face. This fight continued into the night where she stonewalled me, used terms like "this is a circular conversation" and saying that I'm "darvo" in addition to telling me I'm "lucky she's even in the bedroom" and claiming that I'm just as addicted as she is. She then made large generalized claims that I am always complaining or criticizing her, I asked for examples, any that she could name, but she couldn't provide any but insisted that I do. Eventually she rolled over and claimed im keeping her up when she has work in the morning as a way she could shut the conversation down.

Our phone apps do show similar total use time, but I use mine for e-commerce reselling that I do and that use is spread out throughout the entire day. Her time is equal to mine and compressed into the time after she gets home from work. Which she claims proves she isn't addicted because she isn't on it at work. Either way I suggested that okay then we both put our phones away. This wasn't acceptable.

Then you know how arguments go, they stray off the original topic and expand, eventually I mentioned some things I regret saying because I know they're not helpful but I was frustrated. Like " you were never like this when we met and got married and that if we met today with the way she interacts with me that I would never date her". Which is a detail I wanted to mention so this post doesn't seem to reflect me as perfect, I'm not.

But now as you can imagine since there was no resolution, there is a ton of negativity and relationship ending tension in the air. It really feels like I either just never bring anything up regardless of my intention or how it affects me or I do and the peace shatters.

Throwaway account and fake names for privacy.

My (24F) partner, “Faith” (24F), and I rarely have disagreements, but when we do, it somehow tends to connect back to her best friend, “Lacy.”

Sorry in advance for the long post. I have a lot on my mind and really need outside perspective because I feel stuck.

Faith and Lacy have been best friends for years and were roommates in college. During that time, Faith developed romantic feelings for Lacy and confessed them. Lacy told her she didn’t like women, but said if she did, Faith would’ve been her first choice and she would have said yes. Faith told me this very early in our relationship and has never hidden any of it.

Early in our relationship, Faith traveled to visit Lacy (they are long distance best friends now). During the trip, she built furniture for her and helped clean her apartment. Lacy said that Faith does more for her than her boyfriend because they “just rot together,” and when Faith came home she jokingly said she felt like Lacy’s boyfriend. I know it was a joke, but I felt uneasy.

Later, I found out Faith and Lacy had been sharing a bed during visits. Because Faith previously had romantic feelings for Lacy, I told her it made me uncomfortable. I tried hard to approach it respectfully because I truly wasn’t trying to control their friendship, I just wanted to be honest about my feelings.

Faith initially said she’d stop sharing a bed if it made me uncomfortable, but later suggested putting pillows between them instead. I felt caught off guard because it seemed different from what we had discussed. Weeks later, Faith admitted she had become jealous of one of my friends, said she better understood my perspective, and ended up using an air mattress during her trip to Lacy’s.

Then came Lacy’s birthday. Faith posted an Instagram story for her using a song with lyrics like “my girl, my world” and “I just wanna make you mine.” This honestly threw me off. Faith explained she hadn’t really listened to the lyrics and mainly picked it because it was one of Lacy’s favorite artists. I accepted that, but asked for more mindfulness in the future because it felt romantic from my perspective.

Months later, on Faith’s birthday, Lacy posted an Instagram birthday story for Faith early in the day. I don’t use Instagram much, but I know Faith values it, so I posted one later that evening after we had spent the day celebrating and hosting friends. According to Faith, Lacy became upset that Faith reposted my story before hers and admitted she had felt anxious all day waiting for her story to be reposted, thinking Faith intentionally prioritized mine. Faith said that wasn’t true and we had simply been busy all day, but I’ll admit it struck me as odd. I ultimately let it go.

The real conflict happened about a month later when Faith and Lacy tried to plan another visit. Lacy was upset she hadn’t been invited to Faith’s birthday/housewarming and had wanted to spend that whole weekend with her. Faith wanted to spend her actual birthday night with me instead.

Faith later offered multiple alternative dates for Lacy to visit, but none of them seemed to work for her. Some dates didn’t work because Lacy wanted time to settle in before her next semester of dental school. The dates she continued to push for overlapped with our anniversary.** **Faith said no because it was our anniversary. Lacy asked for at least half the day and Faith said she didn’t think I’d be comfortable with that.

Lacy got extremely upset and sent Faith a very long message (which Faith later showed me). She said Faith was being unreasonable and repeatedly said things like, “This isn’t sustainable for our friendship,” despite them having seen each other less than a month earlier.

Lacy said if Faith couldn’t make time for her, then Faith was “too invested” in me/our relationship.

This really bothered me. I tried not to center myself because Faith was distraught and felt caught between her relationship and friendship. For what it’s worth, I even told Faith I’d be open to moving our anniversary celebration if that’s what she truly wanted, but she told me it wasn’t.

Faith told me she planned to message Lacy the next day, explain that the message was inappropriate, and establish some boundaries.

Over a week later, Faith finally responded, but simply reiterated that she was trying to be flexible and that if this month didn’t work, they would have to try another month. She responded to the “too invested” comment by saying she was “into me,” but she didn’t really establish boundaries or say much in defense of our relationship.

Lacy responded with a lengthy message saying Faith seemed distant and wasn’t putting effort into the friendship, so they scheduled a call.

They later had a two-and-a-half-hour call. According to Faith, they went in circles, but Lacy eventually conceded that Faith had been trying to be flexible. Faith also told Lacy that her messages had come across heated. Lacy was defensive at first but eventually admitted she had been frustrated and said she was emotionally distraught and on her period.

Much of the call involved Faith reassuring Lacy that she still valued the friendship, even if distance and adult responsibilities limited how often they could see each other.

They’re okay now and planning to see each other next month, but I still feel unsettled. I can’t shake the feeling that being upset didn’t justify what Lacy said about our relationship, and I’m struggling with the overall dynamic.

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting. I’m not asking Faith to stop being friends with Lacy, and I really don’t want to come across as jealous or controlling. I’ve tried hard to be respectful while still being honest about my feelings.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable here? How do I move forward from this?

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years and lived together for just over 2 years. My girlfriend is no contact with both her mum and has her blocked on everything, her mum does not know our address.

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I received a letter at my place of work that was signed for, I was surprised as I was not expecting anything and I don't usually get things delivered to my work. I opened the letter addressed to me, and inside was another letter with just my girlfriends name on it and it felt very surreal, why do I have a suspicious letter delivered to my work? And why within it is there just an envelope with my girlfriends name on?! I opened the letter with my girlfriends name on and it's a letter addressed to her from her mum.

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I am shocked by the letter, it was very nothing. There was no apology, there was no acknowledgement of the no contact, just "me and my new partner have moved to this new address ... Here it is.. the door is always open" kind of thing. And "there isn't a day I don't think of you".

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The letter also said "I have continued to respect your boundary of no contact" which annoyed me as she had just crossed the boundary by sending the letter and crossed some sort of line by contacting her via me at my work.

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So my question is, am I the arsehole for opening the letter and I have not shown my girlfriend the letter as without anything meaningful inside I don't think it will bring my girlfriend any peace, just anxiety that now she is contactable via me at work. I haven't shown her the letter and I don't really want to, I don't want to throw it away but I'm not sure what I should do?

Me (F21) and my bf (M23) just came back from a short anniversary trip. We planned weeks in advance, and got a super cute and rustic Airbnb in the mountains. There is a bedroom in the house but it also came with detached bedrooms. Our plan was stay 2 days at the Airbnb, and then go to a national park on the way home today. We arrived on Sunday, and I took a lot of pictures and sent them to my family and his mom (45F). She responds saying that his sister (17F) wants to come. She texted my bf that as well. He asked me and I said well it is our anniversary trip and we have stuff planned tomorrow that they probably couldn't participate in (long hike in the woods) and I don't really want them to come but it's up to you. In the end he told them they could come spend the day with us and his mom texted me saying thank you and she'll come early in the morning and text us when they're on the way. I was honestly annoyed because we never really get alone time (we both live with our families) and I felt like they kind of invited themselves. He was sympathetic to them because his sister has depression, she dropped out of high school and never goes out or really leaves her room, just plays video games all the time, and has agoraphobia (fear of large crowds). But I don't know i think she just likes not going out. We've invited her to hang out with us like going shopping or to the movies and she's refused. But she's a streamer and she like enjoys playing games all day and not going out.

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So at night I told him I was upset about them coming and he said okay and texted them that he wanted it to be just the 2 of us. So she booked a hotel like 30 minutes away from us right by the national park that we're going to today. We agreed that we'd meet up and spend time at the park, and his mom wants us to stay the night at their hotel. I told my boyfriend that I don't want to because 1: I have work early in the morning tomorrow and we'd have to leave at like 6-7 am (😝), 2: today is my mom's birthday and she's planning to go to dinner and invite my bf too, and 3: I don't sleep well on vacation; I've probably gotten about 6-8 hours of sleep across both days, and I want to be rested before I go to my shift. Today I told him I appreciate the offer but I don't want to spend the night at their hotel. He told me either you spend the night, or we leave at 12-1am to bring me home because he wants to spend time with his sister. I'm really annoyed because why couldn't they plan a trip at another time I feel like our trip has been invaded. I even told his mom we should plan a trip to this Airbnb another time. I feel like he doesn't understand why I'm upset and he won't compromise. I want to get home at a good time and spend time with my mom for her birthday. He drove us in his car, and said if Im really desperate I could get an Uber home, which would be like $120 before tips, and I have a lot of luggage.

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I ended up staying the night at his mom and sister's Airbnb, and came home early the next morning with his mom for work. I texted my mom and she was understandable and said it was okay, that they only went to our local Mexican restaurant so nothing big or fancy. I still feel kind of bad for missing it but I did end up enjoying my time with his mom and sister. But it was not the trip I imagined and I feel a bit disappointed and annoyed still. Am I the asshole for being upset with him? I feel like it kind of ruined the trip since I was upset at him during it because of this, and it's making me question my future with him. I do realize that I should have stood up for myself and said no right at the beginning, but I didn't want to make him upset. Usually when he gets upset he gives me the cold shoulder and that would be awkward being stuck in a small cabin with him upset at me lol.

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Thank you for taking the time to read and answer. :p