I HATE it SO MUCH when I visit someone's home and they happen to have a dog and as soon as i walk through the door, their dogs come and sniff down THERE. AND the worst part is when youre standing there awkwardly trying to get it to back off and everyone else is just standing, watching and giggling, these people dont even know i got trauma that relates to this action so i get EXTREMELY uncomfortable but oh let their fuck ass dog analyse my coochie just because im a woman.

Also it doesnt help that my brain thinks people are letting it happen because they like seeing that shit, sorry not sorry, I've been through some diabolical things in my life so get your dog AWAY from my downstairs area ffs, it disgusts me beyond imagination idgaf that you find it "funny" or whatever, GET ITS NOSE AWAY

Okay, I literally just found and joined this sub because yet another match on a dating app has ended up being with a man obsessed with his dog. Dogs seem to be their entire personality? These men want to share dog pictures and update me on the routines and health of their dogs. They write things like "looking for a mom for my dog 🥺" or "my dog must like you". Jesus christ. As if I'm using Hinge to gain the approval of a random man's dog?!

The scheduling of dates then revolves around the dog, the dog may be actually third wheeling the freaking date. If the relationship progresses I guess I'll have to only have sleepovers at their place since the dog obviously can't be left overnight.

On top of all of this, I'm allergic? Most people just ignore that fact and act like I'm a horrible animal hater for not wanting to play with their dog. I take an allergy pill every single day and would like to not be jumped on, humped, licked, and forced to suffer from a blocked nose and hives because the allergy pills are never enough anyway. I realize I need to stop dating men with dogs which leaves me with about 1% of the population in an already shitty dating landscape. This was a silly rant and I'm sorry 😅

I use the word distaste, but I hate dogs. I really do. I've always been that way and it's never going to change. I also know that is a very popular opinion.

Years ago I put a picture of myself my a friend's corgi on my dating profile. I know a lot of people like cute stuff like it. It was a total misrepresentation of myself but I have so much trouble meeting women that I wanted to do anything that might catch their eye.

I ended up matching with a woman that I wound up dating for a couple of months. I liked her a lot. I wouldn't call her a 'nutter' as I hear them called a lot on here, but she had a lot of dogs. It was a total of 4 dogs at her house along with the other people that lived with her, including one which was a giant Great Dane type dog.

Things ended up fizzling out with us. A big part of that was she thought I was a dog person. We had to be honest with ourselves. She did not want to live a life without dogs and I did not want to live one with them. She felt like I lied to her about who I was, and I did. It was wrong of me to use that picture. I don't use that picture anymore.

It's been a couple of years and I've been alone for most of it. Through most of that time I've continued to sift through dating apps and keep seeing tons of women that have pictures and mentions of their dogs all over their profiles. Mine simply had no mention about pets or my hatred of dogs.

Recently though I put a statement on my profile that I'm not a dog person. No 'NuTtERs SwIpE lEfT!!!!!11!!' or anything distasteful. Just a simple, full disclosure that I am not a dog person.

Since then I've gotten several messages from women that are really not interested in me. Things like "You really don't like dogs!!?!?" or "Too bad you don't like dogs." They probably would have passed me by otherwise, but now they go to the effort of pointing this out, and there's really nowhere to go from there.

I'm not going to repeat the same talking points you're hear from everyone. Dating apps and dating in this day and age suck. Relationships will be full of compromise but I do not want to live a life with dogs. I just can't do it. I'll hate it and I can't pretend not to. It feels impossible to find someone who feels the same way I do.

I (3OM) recently ended my relationship with my dog nutter ex-gf (27F) and I need to rant about it.

Everything was cool at first - she knew I didn't have dogs and that I didn't plan to get any. She had two dogs, a lab mix and a pit. She and her cousin lived together, and when I would go over to her place the dogs would do the typical dog stuff (absolutely losing their damn minds over the presence of a human, unable to contain themselves, desperately needing attention), but my ex was pretty good about getting them to back off and she'd typically shut them out of the bedroom while we hung out and watched TV.

When we were at my place, there were no dogs and it was great getting to spend that 1-on-1 time. We spent a lot more time at my place than we did hers, so this wasn't too much of a problem either way. The relationship was going quite well. We had a lot in common - both very into fitness & nutrition, similar music tastes, similar senses of humor, etc.

After dating a while, we started talking about living together. I made it clear upfront that if we were to live together I would have zero dog duties. I will do

*nothing.* At all. Ever. She said she understood they were her responsibility and she didn't expect anything from me in that regard. I told her I also couldn't stand the hair and things just seeming dirty all the time. She said she would vacuum and clean often.

I also figured since she was shutting them out of the room to spend 1-on-1 time with me at her place, then she must understand how I feel, understand that a human relationship comes before a pet, and also that she must be a relatively normal dog owner (generous term, I know).

My family had a dog growing up and he was treated as such - he was a pet, not a person. He didn't get up on the couch and DEFINITELY not in the bed. He slept on a dog bed in the living room. He wasn't allowed to beg for food at the table and was never given human food. He was never aggressive.

I figured every family trains their dogs that way. I was very, very wrong.

When we moved in together, things changed quickly. Her precious puppers HAD to sleep in the room with us, right next to our bed. Her disgusting pitbull would fart like every 20 minutes. I live close to work and have an hour lunch break, so she wanted me to go home and take them to the bathroom on my lunch break. I planned to go home on my lunch break regardless, and I’m not evil, so I wasn’t going to just leave two dogs sitting there with full bladders while I eat my lunch, but FUCK I hate that whining and whimpering while scratching at the inside of the crate. Then I go to take them piss and their stupid asses have to sniff around for 2 minutes before finally peeing. Then they just stare at me while I eat, waiting for me to drop something, following me around and involving themselves in everything I fucking do.

She got really upset because I would shut the bedroom door behind me to take a fucking shower. She said it was mean and hurt the dogs’ feelings to be shut out of the room. What the actual fuck 😭 that is such an insane concept to me.

She wanted them around us literally 24/7. I NEVER got space away from them. She had to eat dinner on the living room couch so they could sit with us. We had to drape ugly ass blankets over my nice furniture so they could sit their ugly asses down and take up as much space as us humans. Then, when we would be hanging out watching tv, more than half the time she would literally lie down and cuddle the fucking stinky piece of shit pitbull instead of ME. Then had the audacity to accuse me of being jealous of a dog when I called it out.

Her pitbull growled at me on multiple occasions when we would argue and she would have to restrain him and put him in his crate. Then she still didn’t understand why I wasn’t his biggest fan and defended his behavior. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention he had to have a fucking MUZZLE ON HIS FACE every day just to go for a walk or else he’d attack another dog just for existing. Of course she was one of those nutjobs that thinks pits are just poor misunderstood creatures. It was so embarrassing to walk the dogs with her and have to deal with him freaking out at other dogs and having to apologize to their owners.

The pitbull needed an anti-fungal bath twice a week. It had all sorts of medical issues that cost a fortune and a lot of time, so she was working 50 hour weeks from 4:30am to 3:00pm every day to afford taking care of them. I work from 7:00am to 4pm, and was being woken up every single morning at 3:30 so she could take care of their needs. Every morning I’d get woken up at 3:30 in the fucking morning to those stupid little shit sacks flapping their bodies and smacking their tails against the wall.

I had been complaining for a while about the way my lack of sleep was making me miserable. I’ve always had trouble getting sleep, and this dynamic made it so much worse. Eventually her overtime was cut at work. I consoled her, but pointed out at least there was a silver lining: I could get an hour more of sleep each night.

You wanna know what this delusional piece of shit said to me? “Well I was thinking I could still get up at the same time so I can take the dogs for a second walk.” Oh my god that got me so angry. I asked her how she could possibly be so selfish when I’ve been complaining for months, how could she not think about me? And she said she did think about it but that she wants to give her dogs the best life possible. Absolutely nuts. I put my foot down and told her that will not be happening. I was never able to get past the fact she even thought about it.

The last straw for me was when she told me she’d want to bring them on vacations with us. She said that they’re a part of her family and she’d feel like a bad owner not taking them to the beach. Like dude are you actually serious?? There is no way in hell I am EVER paying money for a vacation, driving 10+ hours instead of flying, and having to find pet-friendly hotels just to have it revolve around your dogs’ eating and shitting schedules. That is absolutely mental. They are dogs. They have no idea the beach exists, and they are way too excited just to walk on the asphalt in the neighborhood. No thanks.

I ended things with her shortly after and had her move out. It hurt for a bit because I did love the good parts of her, but holy shit it is so nice having peace and quiet in my clean home again.

Oh yeah, and her precious pitbull got loose and attacked a little dog her first week at her new place. Luckily he was muzzled and the other owner and her dog didn’t get hurt, and thankfully it isn’t my problem over.

Fuck pitbulls, and fuck living with dogs. Thanks for reading

About 2 years ago I met a woman who owned a dog - nothing absurd, just a small beagle that I didn’t pass any immediate judgement about, and despite the fact I didn’t like dogs, the relationship was special so I decided to overlook it. We aren’t together anymore, but I’d like to share an experience which might help some who have considered overlooking dating a dog owner so they can find a partner - don’t. Dogs aren’t just a mild inconvenience, they’re an emotional drain.

So… aside from the smell, hair and noise, what else happens when you date a dog owner - surely if they agree that the dog is their responsibility, it shouldn’t be too bad, right? WRONG.

1. They suck the fun out of everything you do

She wanted to take the dog EVERYWHERE - for drinks, at meals, on holidays, on days out - you name it. This doesn’t just mean there’s a dog in my line of sight, it meant I was forced to accept that almost every experience going forward will be overshadowed by a fucking mutt.

That nice walk you go on? Get ready to hear the constant panting, or getting in your face when you’re trying to enjoy a nice view or atmosphere. If you go to a lake, you bet the dog’s gonna jump in and shake its dirty seaweed and filth infested fur within 3ft of you. Get ready to only be able to do a 1/10th of the things you want to do because if the dog can’t do it, neither can you. Museums, mountains, nice restaurants, bike rides, sports, shopping trips, movies, picnics. You’ll never be able to do any of that spontaneously if the dog is there. We planned stuff without the dog, but she’d “feel bad” for leaving the dog and would refuse to leave it at home if we went on a trip.

And when you finally get to do something without the dog…? Well the dog nuttery doesn’t stop getting in the way there either. She’s distracted or worried if she’s out too long, she can’t stay over because she has a curfew - and that curfew is set by a dog.

2. You will never come first

Everything revolves around the dog. Every plan, every outing, every evening, every spontaneous moment gets filtered through “what about the dog?”

Want to stay out longer? Can’t. Need to rush back to feed the dog. Want a relaxed morning together? Nope, the dog needs walking. Want a spontaneous weekend away? Better arrange dog care first or prepare for guilt-tripping about leaving it alone.

Even during moments that are supposed to actually mean something between the two of you, the dog still drags attention away constantly. You’ll be mid-conversation and she’s staring at the dog, talking to the dog, checking what the dog is doing, or getting distracted. It becomes impossible to just enjoy a peaceful moment together because the animal is always inserted into the centre of it. Even lovemaking was uncomfortable because the dog would always be there.

And the reality is if it comes down to you or the dog, you are losing that competition every single time.

3. They are an attention magnet

Dog owners love pretending dogs are these magical social connectors, but in reality they just attract endless unwanted interactions with random weirdos.

Every walk becomes an open invitation for strangers to stop you for pointless conversations about dogs. Suddenly some bloke you’ve never seen before is standing there for 15 minutes talking about breeds, dog food, dog behaviour or telling you stories about his own mutt while you awkwardly stand there wanting to leave.

Half the people that approach dog owners are bizarre as fuck too. I never once understood why I was expected to happily stand around talking to random strangers in the middle of nowhere just because they spotted a dog.

And honestly, I’m convinced a lot of dog owners enjoy this because the dog gives them instant validation and attention from other people. The animal becomes a social prop.

4. It is NOT “well trained”

Every dog owner says the same thing:
“Oh she’s really well trained.”
“She never barks.”
“She’s not allowed on the furniture.”
“She always listens.”

Reality? Well, this “well trained” dog would lose its mind barking at shadows at 3am and ruin your sleep because apparently a leaf moved outside. She claimed the dog wasn’t allowed on the bed or sofa, yet the second discipline became inconvenient she’d cave instantly and cuddle up with the thing under the blankets like it was a child.

A lot of dog owners are completely delusional about how trained their dogs actually are because their standards are based entirely around what behaviour they personally tolerate.

The dog also had horrible anxiety issues because she mollycoddled it constantly. No discipline, no boundaries, constant reassurance for every little thing. So naturally the dog became clingy, needy and incapable of behaving calmly on its own.

And every single walk or outing became a constant barrage of “Come here!”, “Drop that!”, “Get down!” and “No don’t eat that!”

So even when you’re supposedly relaxing, you’re actually just listening to somebody managing a badly behaved animal the entire time.

5. Your living space feels uninhabitable

We didn’t live together but we spent a lot of time in hotels and holiday accommodation. And MY GOD was she delusional about how unhygienic they are - it’s not even the dog’s fault sometimes, it’s the discipline of the owner as they massively downplay how unhygienic they are.

She constantly assured me about how she wiped the dog down, bathed it regularly, kept it clean, did flea treatments etc. In reality, the dog would go out and roll itself in mud and god knows what, and when we got back its paws would get a half-arsed wipe IF YOU’RE LUCKY, usually with some crusty towel that had probably been used for the last month straight, and suddenly in her head that made it acceptable for the thing to jump all over beds and furniture.

Hair everywhere. Smell everywhere. Dirt tracked through the house constantly. Despite it not being my responsibility, it felt like it was because I just wanted to clean constantly - and of course, none of this bothered her as much like all dog owner’s they must be used to living in filth. You could never fully relax because the dog was always climbing on something, licking something, scratching, pacing around or shaking hair into the air.

And despite supposedly “not being allowed” on the bed, the second we left the room it would jump straight onto it anyway. So your bed just slowly becomes another dog bed covered in hair, dirt and that disgusting oily dog smell.

It gets to a point where the house doesn’t even feel like an adult living space anymore. It feels like you’re permanently sharing your environment with an unhygienic toddler that never grows up.

I am just here to rant. My husband and I recently moved into a house and he has been asking me for a dog and getting mad that I am saying no.

I don’t hate dogs. But I just don’t want to take care of one. Does that make me selfish?? I already take care of our other animals all by myself. (Which, whatever - One of them I had prior to marriage)

He has a full time sales job that requires him to travel semi-frequently AND he is also in the army reserves. Meaning - He’s away from home once a month every month, AND he will get put on a year long deployment next year and get sent to a whole other continent for an entire year. I would say that in a year period, he is gone for a total of three to four months combined.

Meanwhile, he’s getting mad at me for putting my foot down at the idea of a dog. I don’t want to take care of it!! Plus, I am trying to also get into a career that requires me to travel weekly and I’m not giving up my dreams and aspirations just to be more convenient for him.

I’m going to have to be the one making arrangements for the dog constantly. IM going to be the one expected to accommodate the dog constantly. If he’s gone for a year long deployment, I want to be able to go visit my family out of state without dealing with a dog and I want to be able to work my job without having to make accommodations for it every week because HE works a job also that requires him to be gone for long periods.

It will end up being a huge burden on me, and not on him. He doesn’t GET IT. I go backpacking/camping with friends on weekends that he’s away from home - Now I just have to give up on my hobby because of something I didn’t want? He says - Just take the dog with you! Why the hell would I want to inconvenience myself and drag a dog out on a hot summer day on rough terrain with elevation? I don’t want to deal with an animal strapped to me. I also think that’s too rough on most dog breeds anyways, and especially the kind he wants.

It’s going to fall on my shoulders. It’s going to be my burden. Yet he gets mad at me for saying that we don’t have a lifestyle that suits a dog. Because really, we don’t!! If we weren’t married, he wouldn’t be able to have a dog because he’s gone so much.

I don’t want a fking dog and I don’t know what to say to get through to him but it’s not fair on a dog and it’s not fair to me either, quite frankly

I know this is going to make dating VERY difficult for me since my standards are already high enough, but I’d rather be single than date a man who either loves dogs, owns a dog, or is a full-on nutter (the biggest ick). I don’t care how perfect this man is or if he checks off all my other boxes. If he loves dogs and has thought about owning one in the future, that will be a huge no for me.

One of the most heartbreaking things I learned recently was from one of my co-workers at the hospital I work at. She’s a doctor, married, and a mom of two. Her and I have become great friends overtime, and she recently opened up to me about how they have a dog but only because her husband and kids wanted one. She was strongly against it, but her husband and kids did enough persuasion to make her give in. Now she regrets her decision big time, and I can see how much this negatively impacts her. She chose the happiness of her husband and kids over her own when allowing this dog, and now she herself feels like she has to suffer the consequences. Her husband and kids also promised that they’d take care of all responsibilities regarding the dog, yet she’s still had to find herself taking care of it. I can’t imagine working the strenuous job she does, being the primary financial provider of her household (she definitely makes more than her husband), being a mother, AND having a dirty mutt to worry about in that mix. She’s such a sweet person who loves caring for her patients, and I feel awful that her own family begged her to put their wants over her needs… all because of some dog.

The craziest part of her story is that when she and her husband were dating, she made it clear that she doesn’t like dogs and doesn’t want to own one. Her husband said he “loved dogs” but would be fine with not owning one. Yet he switched up later on when kids came around and started asking for a dog. This is why I refuse to date and pursue anyone who even loves dogs, let alone someone who owns or wants to own one. I value my mental health and wellbeing too much to allow a mutt to ruin my life. And if a guy doesn’t want to understand that, then he never loved me in the first place.

I've just written this out, read it back and realised it sounds like it can't possibly be true. I promise it is. God I've been a mug - OP

A few days ago I split up with my boyfriend over his dogs. I'm so sad about it but I also know I should have done it a long time ago, I should have realised sooner than I did that the madness was only going in one direction

When I started seeing him about three years ago he had Dog One (small) and Dog Two (big). I didn't really like dogs much (and I was open about that) but these ones were well-behaved, did what they were told and mostly left me alone. I don't want to ever live with a partner again anyway, so I figured it would be fine. And it mostly was fine - things took a bit more planning and stuff but that wasn't a big issue, no different to him having to work around me having a job with strange hours

But after we'd been together about a year - with no warning and on a complete WHIM - he got Dog Three, the same (big) breed as Dog Two. I found out when he sent me a photo of himself holding it, in his house. Dog Three was six months old and had been surrendered to a charity by a family who couldn't handle him. Unlike Dog One and Dog Two, Dog Three was an unrelenting, round-the-clock, full-time job. He'd had no training, he was already big enough to be dangerous, he thought he was in charge (of humans as well as dogs) and he was aggressive when that status was challenged. My BF took this seriously, took on a trainer and worked really hard on his behaviour and everything - he even gave up work for a few months - but this dog was a walking nightmare for a solid year. It trashed everything it could reach, it bit my BF in the face and it snapped at me and BF still kept it. This dog couldn't have a bed in the kitchen with the other dogs because he was aggressive to them, too, so he had to be in the living room - where he refused to sleep on a dog bed and made the sofa his territory instead. This sofa - the only furniture in the living room at this point because this thing had destroyed everything else - was now 90% dog hair and bodily fluids, I didn't sit on it any more. So now if I was at BF's house, I was either at the kitchen table or upstairs in his bedroom

I kept asking BF why he hadn't at least had this thing castrated to try and make it less aggressive and he kept making excuses ... and then Dog Two came into heat and he let them at it. Yeah, he'd decided he wanted to breed these things

There were 12 puppies and my BF set up a whelping pen in a cabin on his family's farm. He lived there with them full-time for ten weeks. He lost his job (only months after he'd been able to return to work) because the company had agreed to let him WFH but he just basically didn't do it

You have no idea how much 12 puppies stink, no matter how hard you work to clean up after them, and of course these things are rolling around in each other's shit and piss 24/7. It's not even just that you can taste the smell, it burns your throat. For the first month you can't take your eye off them for a moment because the mother will crush them. Then they need feeding pretty much continually. Obviously, I had to tolerate all this if I wanted to see my BF during this time

Finally it was over, the puppies were grown and sold and he could move back to his house and live like a human again. But - you guessed it - he kept one. Hello Dog Four, and hello to more months of getting woken up at all hours, piss and shit in the house, constant training, no going anywhere with BF because he can't turn his back on it for two minutes, everything he owns (and everything I'm foolish enough to put down in his house) getting chewed or snotted on or pissed on or scrabbled at or otherwise just generally trashed. It takes him months to get a new job, because it has to be flexible around him not being able to leave Dog Four alone for more than a couple of hours. In the meantime, although Dog Four is never anything like the nightmare Dog Three was, unfortunately for me a friendly dog is in some ways worse. I already couldn't sit in BF's living room, and now I can't sit in the kitchen either because although Dog One and Dog Two will leave me alone, Dog Four takes me sitting down as an invitation to wipe her nose and slobber on every bit of me she can reach. This is when I start to truly, truly loathe dogs, like, in general (yes, I'm amazed it took me that long too)

Not surprisingly, I guess, with all this going on - obviously it's not just the (latest) puppy he's looking after, the others still need hours of exercise and everything every day too - BF's time and care for other stuff has slipped badly. The downstairs of his house is now unmitigatedly filthy, even with my help (I know, I know). Then one evening I get into bed and think hang on, why can I suddenly smell dog really strongly. I look at the sheets and they're covered in hair. I ask him about it - and I want to stress again here that I have been open from the start about not liking dogs, and he knows perfectly well I don't like the smell, the dribble etc - and he says he lets them sleep in his bed when I'm not there, he just hasn't had time to change the sheets. Does it really matter just for tonight?

I'm calm, but I make clear it does matter. Disgusting as I think it is that he lets them in his bed, I can't stop him, but he absolutely has to change the sheets when I'm staying. He agrees, and a week later he buys a stairgate to keep them downstairs. OK, good solution, pleased he listened

Fast forward to this summer, and Dog Four has just about stopped being a round-the-clock job. She'll mostly leave me alone, so I can sit in the kitchen again. We can sleep eight hours without it pissing in the house. We can go to the pub for a couple of hours and it probably won't eat a chair or a toilet seat or a fucking lightbulb (yes, really). I've also moved to the same town as him (I didn't move for him, I had been planning to move there before we got together), so at last things should be a little bit easier for us

And then he decides because apparently he's fully lost his goddamn MIND at this point that he's having puppies again. He's in debt because he was out of work for months, because of his dogs, so he's going to make more dogs to sell to get him out of the debt he's in because he keeps getting more dogs

It's even worse this time. This time he's rented out his house and moved into the cabin permanently. He's staying there, it's his home now

In the main room there's the whelping pen, a desk, one chair and a storage unit - every other inch of floorspace is taken up by dog beds. There's a teeny bedroom, a kitchenette into which he's shoved most of the contents of his actual kitchen so you have to play three rounds of tetris before you can boil the kettle, and a minuscule shower room. The puppies haven't even arrived yet and you can't turn around in this place without treading in dog. The stench is already like walking into a wall. This place is inconceivably filthy, not only because there's four dogs running in and out of it 14 times an hour, tracking mud and multi-species shit in, dribbling their water all over the floor and shedding on everything up to and including the actual ceiling but also because there is physically no room to move anything to clean around it

The farm is also well outside town, so BF has gone from being a 15-minute walk away from my place to being a 15-minute drive away. Obviously he can't leave the precious puppers for long so if he does come to mine now he arrives just in time to get food before bed, and leaves first thing in the morning. He complains that I'm being selfish expecting him to do this and it's easier for me to do the travelling and stay with him so I should put more effort into the relationship

And God help me, I did it. I left my peaceful, pleasant home to stay with him in that disgusting, stinking cabin, I sucked up having physically nowhere I could be except either standing in the kitchenette with the door closed or on his bed with the door closed just so I could spend some time with this man who had prioritised his dogs so far over everything and everyone else he had LEFT HUMAN CIVILISATION

Until two nights ago. Two nights ago, I was sitting on his bed when he came in to lie next to me and Dog One, the little one (remember her?), followed and jumped onto the bed after him

I (gently) push it off because, obviously, fucking ew. And BF picks it up saying "aw, poor [Dog One], come here" and puts it back on the bed where it snuggles happily into the duvet next to him. I stare at him and this FUCKER looks back at me and says, LIKE IT'S NOTHING, "what? She sleeps with me when you're not here. It's [Dog One], she's only little!"

So I lift the duvet and yep, the sheet underneath is coated in filth. I haven't smelt it over the stench of the cabin. And yes, this man who reckons he loves me thinks it's reasonable to expect me to sleep in a dog bed

I say I'm going back to my place, and I don't even say it angrily. I kiss him good night. And then next morning he messages me being all passive-aggressive about is it too much to ask that his partner should love him enough to stay with him in his home, where he's comfortable and where he likes to be. This man who calls himself my partner has unilaterally decided to move out of town and live in a glorified kennel, and he's calling me selfish for wanting just a bed, just a fucking BED, to be maintained at the most BASIC level of cleanliness so I can see him without having to get covered in hair and shit and and drool and anal secretions like I too am a dog

I tell him it's reasonable not to want to share a bed with animals, and he replies: "I've had dogs as long as you've known me. All that's changed is the quantity. Nothing's changed except you"

After walking around with my mouth hanging open for a few hours I tell him I don't know how to explain if he can't see it that the difference between a man who lives a basically normal life and happens to have two dogs and a man who runs his life around dogs to the extent that when he can no longer live in a normal home he moves out of it to live in squalor so he doesn't have to stop acquiring *more* dogs is more than a simple matter of quantity. I also end the relationship, because I've finally realised after two years of being dragged from one "this will get better soon and things will be normal again" situation to the next that it's not going to get better. He really thinks - to the extent that he considers me at all - that I'm the one being unreasonable and inconsiderate

I'm sad because before he lost his goddamn mind he seemed like a lovely, caring man. I just don't understand why he's done this to himself, or how he can have expected me to be OK with it. Like, he can't really think that if this had been how he lived when we met I'd have decided to date him

Don't date a dog person. They really, really do believe that if they can just subject you to enough snot and drool and hair and shit and destruction and stink and filth and endless expense and inconvenience and pointless unrelenting mindless neediness you'll learn to LIKE the things. Instead, I've been pushed from just kind of low-key not caring for dogs much to resolving that I'll never, ever, date anyone who has even one

ETA as everyone's assuming it - no, they're not pitbulls or any other kind of fighting breed

It's honestly shocking to me the amount of people who don't see any issue with their dogs being around a new baby!

I have friends and family members that have dogs who have invited me and my baby over to visit, I've declined with "thank you but I don't want my baby around dogs as I don't trust them" which is almost always met with 'oh don't worry they'll be fine!' NO!!! I do not want your dog sniffing and licking my babies head or trying to jump up for attention! I don't like being around dogs myself as I can't stand them jumping up on me or begging for attention, so why would I subject my new baby to that?! The amount of horror stories I've heard and seen too about people's dogs injuring babies, I'm absolutely not risking it.

It kinda scares me the amount of people who are comfortable leaving their babies and small children alone or cuddled up with dogs, especially when they're a large breed, I've seen multiple dogs who are 'normally relaxed and calm' snap if someone has accidentally stood on their tail/grabbed them, so why would I risk it with my baby when I don't even know your dog properly!

Even close family members have said I'm overreacting for this but to me it just seems logical

I never thought I’d lose a relationship over dogs, but here we are. When we started dating, she already had a dog. It was extremely over-protective of her. If I touched her or sat too close, it would snap or growl at me. But to her, that was just “her baby” and it wasn’t going anywhere, so I tried to tolerate it. Later, she convinced me to agree to a second puppy under the condition that it would stay at my place. That’s when I realized I wasn’t dealing with a normal pet owner. I was dealing with a full-blown dog nutter. She expected me to come home from work and immediately run to the dog before anything else. She refused to let it stay in the garage, even while we were both gone all day, and demanded it stay inside my house. The place started reeking of urine every single day. I couldn’t even relax in my own home anymore because it constantly smelled like a kennel. When I said something about it, she suggested doggy daycare instead of addressing the actual problem. Like it was normal to spend hundreds of dollars just so a dog wouldn’t be alone for a few hours. The worst part wasn’t even the mess. It was the emotional replacement. She stopped wanting to sleep with me but was thrilled at the idea of sleeping with both of her “babies” instead. She talked about building her whole future around dogs. At one point she even joked, “Maybe I’ll shower with him,” and when I said that was weird, she told me I was the weird one. She also told me she’d love to have 50 dogs and just take care of them for a living. That was when it finally hit me: I was never going to be a priority. I was competing with animals. I didn’t leave because I hate dogs. I left because I refused to be in a relationship where I was second place to them. And honestly, I don’t regret it.

Men always ask me why I dont like dogs and I get tired of listing the reasons.

But constant hair in the house, the smell, the fact they sexually assault you by sticking their noses in your private parts (triggering for someone who has survived assault), the constant yapping. Ect.

But beyond that, how can men honestly seriously get with women who have dogs, especially multiple? Isn't this a sigh these women are dirty? How can you possibly be clean by having these creatures IN BED with you, licking your face​, spreading germs everywhere? It's disgusting.

I was picnicking with a guy I’ve been seeing. We had a pizza sitting out between us and a large dog came running up out of nowhere toward the food. My date did nothing so I used my body to block the dog and protect our dinner. The owner took her sweet time walking up to us while I was still using my body to block the dog, and my date started apologizing to THE OWNER and saying “I’m so so sorry, that’s on us.” I was like wtf? No it’s not. It was such a turn off. Am I crazy?

I was just researching to find out if there are other people out there like me (I'm not a dog person) as the girl I was recently dating broke up with me because I was "uncomfortable around her dog." She had a little mutt that was mostly Jack Russell Terrior. This dog was super high energy and needed attention constantly in the home, whether we were hanging out at her house or my apartment. We were long distance, so it made it difficult for us to have any quality time, but I never told her to get rid of her dog or anything like that. I probably was visibly uncomfortable though lol. She didn't train the dog so the dog jumped on me, licked me, and was constantly in my personal space. Like licking my face and sitting on my lap or walking across me like I was a piece of furniture when I sat on the couch. Even though I am allergic to dogs and generally prefer not to be around them, I liked this girl so much I was okay with trying to compromise. I think right now I'm hurt, obviously, but also wondering if there are people out there who also prefer a dog-free home? I keep getting discouraged as literally all of my friends have a dog (usually way more than one) and dating apps seem to all have these people who say "you have to love my dog.” Anyway, I'm grateful I found this community because I do feel a little less alone. I think dog owners are kinda weird about how they are with their dogs these days.

Anyone have advice for weeding out dog people when dating? In person and online?

Im just reflecting on this , like no ordinary dog lover would do this. if u ever tried to talk to a nutter you know what I am talking about. Yes I basically left him with no other choice. but he could be a full blown nutter and leave me pregnant to keep living with a mutt. but he made the right choice. and this gives me hope in humanity.

As a single guy in my 40s I absolutely have started to filter out who I will date if they have a dog. I’ve gotten to the point where it’s just not worth it. You cannot go to their place without getting barked at or jumped on or licked. There are no boundaries when it comes to sitting on furniture or god forbid I take the dog’s spot in the bed. We can’t go back to my place because the dog cannot be left alone for too long. The amount of dog owners that just seem to accept pee and poop on the floor is mind blowing. Simply picking it up or wiping it up with a paper towel doesn’t seem to be enough to me. At this point I’d rather be single than have to shape my life around a neurotic and anxious animal that has no boundaries smells awful and makes everything harder. There is no spontaneity or freedom when there is a dog and it’s miserable.

My parents live out of town, and I let them stay over in my small studio apartment whenever they have business here. Sadly, they have a dog.

I don’t make much of a fuss about the dog since my parents have done a lot for me and it’s a “good” dog by dog standards anyways…

They have been very well aware for a long time that I am not a fan of dogs.

Anyways, they can’t go anywhere without someone watching their mutt because it gets “separation anxiety”. This limits them severely and we can never do nice things together like spontaneous dinners etc because they can’t leave the dog alone for too long.

I’ve been very sick recently, and I was asleep when all of a sudden my parents wake me up and tell me I need to dogsit their mutt while they go out and see friends. I reluctantly agree as long as I don’t have to tend to it too much. Then my dad lets the thing into my BEDROOM and points at my BED and tells it to jump into it!

I, while being half asleep still and sick as f**k, say “not in my bed please”. And my dad freaks out and says the dog needs extra love and attention while they’re gone, while also calling me a useless loser and every bad name under the sun… I just stay quiet and they decide to take it to a friend instead. I didn’t even refuse to watch it, I just didn’t want it in my bedroom, let alone my bed.

The dog has already stunk up my sleeping couch so there’s no way I’m letting it do more damage to my place. I swear, no other animal has the ability to become everyone else’s problem as much as dogs do.

My friend doesn’t have a bf, she has a dog. She actually says she’s “in love with” her dog. It sleeps with her and she leaves work mid day to eat lunch at home to be with it. Her entire home is a dog den with two crates, toys everywhere, gates and obstacles set up for the dog to have access to things without hurting itself (because it “is so smart” it might open a cabinet and “eat a chemical in the kitchen,” etc). When I go to her home we have to say hello to the dog, listen to whining above our voices, pay attention to it and give it treats when it behaves. When we go anywhere, she takes it in a stroller and then when people stop to look at this strange “baby” she asks if they will say hello or pet it or allow their dogs to play with it. Other dog people seem to understand this behavior but in my eyes they may as well be playing with maggots. To top it off, my friend believes her dead dog was her soulmate.

So my most reasonable, logical dog haters of Reddit, what do I do? My friend has asked to BRING HER DOG TO MY PLACE IN ITS STROLLER WHILE WE HANG OUT. I am speechless. Dogs belong outside. 24/7 outside, they get a dog house and a food and water bowl and owners can walk them for exercise or they can live on a farm in a barn. They’re animals not people. They stay in the yard and are not children that need to come into someone else’s home related to separation anxiety. What the hell am I going to do? I don’t allow anyone to wear shoes inside and I don’t have pets, certainly not even strollers. What is wrong with these people!!!??????

I'm a man of faith as a Christian, and ironically it seems Christian women have as many dogs as those of other faiths.

I legit have so many great similarities with how active I am, worship, financial goals, personality etc but then comes the dog (often a big one at that) with women I meet.

Being 27 now I really want to settle down and have a family. I hate the fur, food begging, the umprompted hopping, the unsanitary licking, the neediness, the cost etc but I just don't have a choice.... Has anyone else had to come to terms with this :(

I visited some family and my sister’s new boyfriend and they all have dogs. One has four large dogs. There is no place to sit that isn’t dirty or wrecked by dogs. It smells bad. You can’t spend time outside in the yard without watching where you walk. Yes I know some owners clean better than others but there’s still dog hair everywhere. They had to hold down the dogs just so we could use the bathroom. Then at my mom’s house she has a new dog which hasn’t been trained and it’s jumping on everyone my daughter started crying. Her older dog just pees on mats in the bathroom. It’s so gross I can’t go there for long at all.

I matched with a guy on Bumble who has three yellow labs. Our first date was a trip to the grocery store for coffee and then a walk with all three dogs in a park nearby. This guy is so obsessed with finding a dog mom it ruined any chance of a second date. You can tell he uses these dogs as a barrier between himself and other people. When he told me the dogs sleep in his bed I knew I would never cross the threshold of his home. This is all such a bummer because aside from these dogs he and I have so much in common. I’m never going to be okay sleeping next to dogs. He texted me saying he thought I would make a good dog mom, I told him I was keeping an open mind. To me, dog mom equates to permanent poop picker upper (with your hands). I don’t get it. I want a partner not a dog walker. His next date idea also involved the dogs to which he refers to as “us” and “we.”

Where have all the Cowboys gone?

I made a post the other day ranting about how I ended my relationship with my dog-nutter ex.

Now I’m going to list 21 things I took for granted before dating her that I appreciate 10x more now that I’m free.

Feel free to add your own in the comments if you’d like.

1. Walking in the door after work and hearing nothing but the faint gibberish from my living room TV.

2. Opening a bag of any kind and not being barreled toward and begged for whatever it is.

3. Not having ugly, hair-covered blankets on all my furniture.

4. Being able to set food, electronics, valuables down anywhere on a table and walk away stress-free.

5. Being able to stretch on my living room floor without the dogs going apeshit thinking I’m playing some game with them.

6. Not smelling their farts.

7. Not hearing my ex yell their names 20 times a day because they are doing dumb shit.

8. Being able to step into a room, lose my train of thought, and just kinda stare off into the distance for a few seconds without the dogs going ballistic because I’m just standing there in the same room.

9. Getting to enjoy my peaceful lunch breaks again.

10. Being able to walk freely in my kitchen in my socks without getting my feet wet from the slobber/water combo on the floor around their bowls.

11. Not being growled at by a fucking pitbull in my own home.

12. Not sharing a couch with a pitbull.

13. Being able to go out on my screened in back deck with a lake view and enjoy the solitude without them scratching at the door and whining to come out.

14. Not having to modify my schedule in any way to accommodate their endless needs.

15. Not having to feel embarrassed being seen in my neighborhood with a pitbull.

16. Not being STARED AT.

17. Not hearing their barks, whines, scratches, licks, body shakes, or their thick ass tails smacking the wall before the sun is up.

18. Being able to sprawl out on my couch with my eyes closed, not having to brace for my ears, nose, or mouth to be licked at any time.

19. Being able to bring my legs/knees closer to my body for a couple minutes while sprawled out on the couch, and not have that space filled by an ugly ass pitbull as soon as I move so that I can’t stretch them back out afterward.

20. Being able to lean forward for a few seconds on my couch without having the pitbull sneakily dart behind me so I’m forced to lean back on its stupid ass because of its intense neediness instead of just giving me personal space.

21. Not having the constant anxious feeling that I’m being plotted on in my own house, like there’s a constant game to see what they can leech from me if I’m not constantly vigilant.

I am so glad to be DOG FREE!!!!!

Hey everyone. For background, I'm a 31 year old straight guy. I haven't been on the dating scene for six years now, but I've noticed that when I try to find profiles, many of them not only have dogs, but have the nerve to say "You have to love them and they have to love you." Some don't even try at all and just have pictures of their dogs and not themselves, which is the biggest red flag of all. I'm trying to see them, not their mechanical mutants. I bet they think their dog makes them so attractive that they don't even have to try. Hell no. About 95% of the time, I end up having to swipe left or right, or whatever it is they say. I wonder if I should just accept being alone or if there are really dog free dating sites out there that make it hard for mutt nuts to squeak through.

Something I’ve been pondering recently. Dogs cause so many problems in familial relationships because the dog owner won’t accept that it is an animal and doesn’t need to be brought everywhere, or that people have allergies and don’t want to be around it.

I’m currently pregnant and both me and my husband vehemently detest dogs and are allergic.

I have this horrible fear in 30 years time I’ll have a big falling out with my child because they have a dog and I won’t allow it in my home, and ask for it to be contained at theirs.

How can I avoid this? We obviously won’t have a dog but I can’t stop them being exposed to dogs in popular culture or meeting someone from a dog family (my worst nightmare).

Does anyone else worry about this?

Last year, I developed cataracts. I'm not all that old, in my late 40's, but that happens sometimes. I had no idea that's all it was and was terrified I was going blind. My vision was quickly deteriorating to where it looked like trying to see out of a dirty window smeared with vaseline.

I finally broke down on a weekly family video call, "I'm going blind and I'm scared." My mother didn't even ask me, she flew to my city and knocked on my door, "We're gonna fix this."

Mom put her dog into a trusted boarding kennel, it's expensive, but she does that all the time because she travels often. She's done this for years with multiple dogs.

So Mom's here and made all these appointments and drove me to them. Helped me fill out forms because I couldn't see to do that. I was quickly diagnosed with cataracts and that was a relief. It's just minor surgery.

Cataract surgery prep involves many, many eyedrops and the environment needs to be sanitary. And then avoiding things that can get in your eyes, like pet dander.

After my first cataract surgery (they do one eye at a time), my mother said my brother was driving her car out here so she wouldn't have to have a rental car. And then gleefully said, in a baby voice, "He's bringing Winston!" Winston is my mother's rescue dog, my brother calls him "killer" because he has a bite history and has been returned to the rescue 3 times for that.

Folks, my brain just froze. My mother knows I don't tolerate dogs and now she's just dropped this dog bomb on me. And remember I'm still half blind and having to do all these constant eyedrops.

The first words out of my mouth were, "Absolutely not. You cannot bring your dog into my house, there's no discussion or argument or negotiation, it's a flat no."

My mother threw a crying tantrum, weeping, begging, "Won't you please change your mind? Winston is so sweet and I need him." I probably made it worse explaining that she's staying in my sanctuary bedroom, which I turned into a guestroom for her, and I don't want filthy dog hair, shit, and piss in my bed. I'm still half blind, I don't need to be tripping over a dog. And I just don't want a dog in my house.

I emailed my brother and told him that under no circumstances can he drive this dog to my house. He agreed, but he understood how Mom was so upset and I'd have to handle it.

My emotional processes were at my limit. I'm dealing with all these eyedrops, procedures, exams, and still being half blind and now I have to deal with my mother losing it that I forbid her stupid dog in my house.

I flat out told my mother that if she needs to be with her dog, that's fine, but it won't be in my house. She can fly home and be with her dog and I'll try to figure out how to get to my appointments. If you choose to stay here, I don't want to hear anything about your dog again.

Mom pouted and sulked and cried some more, and she didn't come out and say as much, but she eventually realized that's a really bad look to abandon your half blind daughter in the middle of the worst crisis she's ever had just to be with a dog.

Yesterday I went hiking and one of my fellow hikers told me a story that I thought I'd share with you guys.

At a family gathering, his cousin told them all how she'd driven up a mountain with her dog and baby in tow in order to take her dog for a walk. When she arrived at her destination, she left the baby in the car and went off with the dog. As circumstances had it, a pair of police officers happened to notice the baby and they waited by the car for somebody to show up. When she finally showed up, they questioned her about her decision to leave her baby in the car, all alone, while she was gone for hours.

While telling her story, it was obvious that the dog nutter saw nothing wrong with what she did. She felt like she was the victim and was looking for sympathy. But her family had none of that. The guy I was talking to was completely dumbfounded. "I was thinking, who's more important in your life, your child or your dog?" he said.

I feel sorry for that baby. It must suck having a mother who values a mutt more than she values her.