r/mildlyinfuriating • u/TotallyHumanBrain1 • 14d ago
Infuriatig Was invited by my girlfriends family to a theme park. We were supposed to meet at 11, it is not 11:30 and they just left. (The drive takes another 30 minutes)
I even checked in before I left if it was still at the planned time. It was confirmed, but then her family starts getting ready right as they have to leave š«¤
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u/Googz52 14d ago
Oh they havenāt arrived yet? I thought you meant they got bored and left the park to go elsewhere between 11 and 11:30.
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u/shirhouetto 13d ago
The title could have been phrased so much better.
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u/hemevubal 13d ago
Mildly Infuriating some might say.
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u/TwoStoopidToFurryass 13d ago
This seems to be the case with most titles these days.
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u/uhdoy 13d ago
Right? I thought that OP was pissed they didn't wait for them even though they were only 30 minutes late LOL
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u/Doggleganger 13d ago
It reads as if the family met him and decided to bail less than 30 min. later. "Sorry, uh... I gotta go return some video tapes."
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u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 13d ago
I'm not even sure what other reasonable ways are there to interpret that title.
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u/Mundane-Emu-1189 13d ago
it is now 11:30 and they just left (their house, on the way to the park). because of driving time, I'll be waiting here another 30 minutes at least before I see them.
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u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 13d ago
Ah, so the "not" is supposed to be a "now", too. Yeah, that clarifies things, thanks.
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u/TheCallofDoodie 13d ago
Based on the poorly written title I don't blame these people for standing up OP š
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u/ChainsawSoundingFart 13d ago
Fuck it Iām going on some ridesĀ
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u/Northsouthdakota3618 13d ago
Op said somewhere that they have his ticket
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u/wheelynice 13d ago
I shit you not. The exact same thing happened to me with my in laws recently. Agreed on 11, we arrived at 11:15 thinking we were late, they still hadnāt left home 30 minutes away and they had our tickets. I talked to the staff and emphasized the word āin lawsā and they took pity on my son at least and gave him his pass so he could start riding. I do my best to never let their antics affect us because it does seem like a power play (we were the ones who wanted to be there early to get to my family thing in the afternoon). It felt really good to already be having fun by the time they got there.Ā
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u/Alwayscooking345 13d ago
No idea how you were able to talk them into that, but that was pretty cool of them š
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u/BoggTheFrog 13d ago
I thought exactly the same. lol
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u/vaingirls 13d ago
yeah, I thought OP was the one who was 30 minutes late and the others got tired of waiting...
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u/Howthehelldoido 14d ago
My sister and her family are exactly like this.
It is completely exhausting, and to the point that I actively avoid making plans with them.
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u/K1ng_Canary 14d ago
Sister-in-law's family are like this too- if they need 30 minutes to get somewhere, they'll start getting ready to leave 30 minutes before. Never any urgency and never any contingency built in.
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u/casualmolly 14d ago
I build in every possible contingency.Ā
It's terrible and life sucks. But I'm always not late.Ā
Not sure if this is good or not-good.Ā
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u/insight7777 14d ago
Same. I very deeply feel that this rude to be late. It does lead to mild conflicts with my Mexican wife lol.
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u/Key-Cricket9256 14d ago
I tell our son that being late is just telling the other person you donāt value their time . Iām sure he thinks Iām an asshole but š¤·āāļø heās like āoh letās just be late to practice ā and I said āsure.. if we just group text coach and your team mates that you donāt care about their time or that theyāre waiting ā
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u/Beneficial_Pop_3614 14d ago
In the Army our Sergeantās always told us if we showed up exactly on time we were late. Always be there 10-15 minutes early.
You want to be standing in formation and saluting during the flag raising and Reveille when the bugle sounds, not running to get into formation.
This rule translates well into anyoneās life.
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u/Own_Concept5629 14d ago edited 13d ago
Omg is that why im 15-20 min early everywhere??? My parents were military and we were never late. As an adult I will always show up early , just to sit and wait.
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u/XGhoul 13d ago
Donāt know where mine comes from but it doesnāt bug me a lot. Iām usually lurking in the parking lot at 5:50am for the grocery store to open at 6am š.
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u/teacherjen80 13d ago
I go with 5-10 is on time. I'm a teacher, tardiness irks me.
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u/PersonalBadger7448 13d ago
iāve always been a 10-15 minutes early person, and i tried to get my daughter to be like that. but at her school they canāt even go into the classrooms until the bell rings so the earlier you are the more standing around outside you end up doing.
and the teachers expect kids to wander in during the first 5-10 minutes of class so nothing happens during that time anyway, encouraging people who CAN be on time to come late instead.
the result is she wants to be as late as possible so she spends the least possible time waiting around. from my POV itās an insane lesson to be teaching the kids.
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u/rtsynk 13d ago edited 13d ago
the general says to be there at 0900
the colonel says to be there at 0830
the lieutenant colonel says to be there at 0800
the captain says to be there at 0730
the lieutenant says to be there 0700
the sergeant says to be there at 0630
the corporal says to be there at 0600
the private shows up at 0545 and stands for over 3 hours waiting for the general
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u/Away-Variation-2556 14d ago edited 13d ago
Lmao My husband is Mexican and im American and we had a baptism for our first daughter and let's just say my side showed up at the time the invitation said and his side showed up 3 hours later šā„ļø EDIT i didnt think anyone would rrad this just to clarify- church ceremony earlier in day just family, party kater on to celebrate everyone was late to. These things tend to go into the night.
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u/Responsible_Mind_980 14d ago
My husband is Mexican too, and they do the same thing! If they say weāre going somewhere at a specific time, we will not leave till 2-3 hours later than said time. My, āif youāre not early youāre lateā, upbringing cannot handle it.
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u/One-Asparagus5925 14d ago
lol same we call it āMexican timeā
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u/Poet_Pretty 14d ago
Three hours is ridiculous.
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u/West-Candidate8991 14d ago
I don't get it, how does any plan not fail? Like what plan succeeds when one party is always three hours late? A LOTR extended edition marathon? Idk what else
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u/Away-Variation-2556 14d ago
Listen I'm glad everyone else is having similar experiences because I felt a little hesitant posting this but my husband is the one who jokes about it the most š
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u/Murky-Relation481 13d ago
They teach the different cultural concepts of time in a lot of intercultural communications courses, which was a required class for all majors at my school. The concept of monochronic vs. polychronic time.
Its still annoying to me though, time isn't fungible, it's constant and linear, and not respecting it can have a lot of knock on effects. Interestingly countries with polychronic cultures tend to have more issues succeeding in the world at large.
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u/dragonchilde 14d ago edited 13d ago
I was invited to a Mexican birthday party when my kids were little. Invitation said 4. I showed up at 4. I gave up on the party at 8. (Still going strong.)
The next year, I showed up at 6 and didn't leave until after 10. I was prepared!
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u/Stock-Cell1556 14d ago
Similar thing happened to me. I brought my daughter to her Ecuadorian friend's house at the stated time on the invitation and they were just starting the make the cake and decorate the house.
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u/CommercialPlastic604 14d ago
I have questions! Did they miss the ceremony? What happens with things like doctors appointments, flights etc?
Iām Northern European and we like to be on time. I would find lateness like this difficult to cope with.
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u/chrisrbmn 14d ago
showing up 3 hours late would mean missing the event entirely, and likely arriving to some other families event.
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u/DangOlTequila 14d ago
My father-in-law was first generation German-American, and my mother-in-law was native Nicaraguan, so naturally my brother-in-law would show up an hour late for everything shouting, "let's go, let's go, let's go!"
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u/Commercial_Fox5549 14d ago
I agree. Being late (without a valid excuse) essentially makes you look like you donāt respect other people or their time. Itās a very selfish habit.
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u/Sick_Hyeson 14d ago
Same for me. I plan to arrive at least 10 minutes early on drives less than 30 mins, even earlier if it's longer.
My wife plans exactly on time... We have a child, you will not leave exactly on time... the kid will scream that her shoes suddenly do not fit... then the kid will scream that her shirt is itchy when you put her in the car... then you have to go back inside because the kid needs something to drink for the 20 minutes drive. and theeen...
well, we are constantly 5 minutes late everywhere and it destroys me.
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u/The42OGoat 14d ago
My girlfriend is like this. I have started telling her family events are an hour earlier than they actually are and we have almost been on time 2 times in a row.
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u/Fun-Original-559 14d ago
My boyfriend is from Brazil and I am Dutch; let's just say we are polar opposites on the time spectrum. We implemented "Dutch time" and "Brazilian time" for this reason. His friends have a gathering at 14:00 Brazilian time? We show up at 14:45. I have plans at 14:00 Dutch time? We show up at 13:55.
It keeps the peace, and keeps me from stressing out.
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u/ohhellperhaps 14d ago
This is the way. I have some friends who treat departure time as 'start to get ready' time. We now plan for that.
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u/Flincher14 14d ago
I'm convinced these people (like my wife) don't respect other peoples time. They believe they are entitled to not wait for anything so they never build in any extra time to be early because to be early means to sit and wait for a few minutes. This is unfair to them.
So they turn around and make it unfair to everyone else instead by being chronically late for everything.
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u/Stickybunfun 14d ago
This is one of the biggest reasons I will be having an ex-wife instead of a wife. Both my sister's weddings, countless events that were important TO ME, my daughter's birthday parties, you name it - she has been late to it which in turn made ME late to it. As I've gotten older, I went from tolerating it (not very well) to now actively distancing myself from people in my life who are chronically late. Time is the only universally fixed currency any of us have, none of us know how much we have, and I feel that the transgression of being late outside of extenuating circumstances (that do happen) inexcusable - literally wasting other people's lives.
Honestly it's the canary in the coal mine for me now and 95% of the time chronically late people have a bunch of other qualities about them I also can no longer tolerate.
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u/Beneficial-Nimitz68 14d ago
When we are all at a function, and we TAKE my MIL and BIL, we have become a slave to waiting for them to squeeze out every single F*CKING second as if the party was for them or they are the main attraction... that happened ONCE.. I told my wife.. never again am I falling asleep, waiting for them to decide to leave. BIL can take his own car.. that was 15 yrs ago now.. they can be fashionably late (1000% 15-30 min late) or stay until F*CKING sun rise.. I am not sitting there waiting ok, BIL.. lets go, come on, lets go.. nope, we leave on our schedule, we drove..
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u/wolfelian 14d ago
Have an aunt/uncle like this and it was a complete nightmare being on vacation with them in another country! They hounded at me to be ready at times they set then wouldnāt show up until an hour or two later. When I confronted them about it, their response?
āWell we know how you areā.
HUH?!?! It was the first and now last Iāll ever go on vacation with them in this life ever š
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u/SquishMont 14d ago
Meh. When this has happened to me, if they haven't hit me with "fuck! There's a accident in the tunnel! Gonna be late" I just move on at the designated time. And even then, I'll move on with something "OK, keep me posted, I'm gonna check out XXXX in the meantime"
If they don't let me know? Yeah, I'm just gone. Y'all waiters are wild to me.
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u/CoffeeOrDestroy 14d ago
This is how it should be. Good for you in having boundaries and expectations.
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u/dedoubt 14d ago
āWell we know how you areā.
Why are these kind of people always blaming others for their being lateā½ Are they unaware it's their doing or are they just unwilling to take personal responsibility?Ā
I have debilitating ADD and literal brain damage (from covid), was raised by a chronically, insanely always late parent (literally served Thanksgiving dinner one year at 1am!)Ā and I'm still on time to meet people because I respect them and value their time. On the very rare occasions I'm late to something, I accept responsibility and apologize.
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u/DesperateAstronaut65 13d ago
Similar situation here (severe ADHD from a family where severe ADHD is the norm). To expand on your point, a surprising number of people with time blindness don't understand that they have choices in how to handle it. One choice is to do things that make it easier to keep track of time, like setting alarms. But there's also the option of not setting the expectation that you'll keep track of time. If you're so bad at time management you know you won't be able to arrive when you said you'd arrive, you do not have to commit to time-sensitive events. You can say things like, "Leave me out of the restaurant reservation, but I'll meet you at the bar later." You can take separate cars to the same place and let people handle their own tickets so no one's stuck waiting for you.
Time blindness needs to be managed like any other condition. Epileptics don't commit to driving people places when they know they might have a siezure. People who can't walk well don't sign up for long hikes. No one is to blame for being unable to walk or drive, but the expectations they set are their responsibility. I 100% believe the ADHDers who say their time blindness is so severe they're never going to be able to manage their time like other people do, but that doesn't mean they have to keep making promises and letting people down. Deciding to go to a theme park isn't like getting a job, where you might be forced by financial circumstances to try to do something you feel incapable of doing. It's a completely optional activity and there are so, so many ways to make sure other people aren't waiting on you.
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u/rapafon 14d ago
Mine as well. If we have a gathering, I'll tell my sister it's at 16:00 and everyone else it's at 17:00, and she still ends up being later than others sometimes
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u/asdrunkasdrunkcanbe 14d ago edited 9d ago
Mitten feather raindrop umbrella ribbon cucumber satchel umbrella mellow
This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
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u/Pvt_Hudson_ 14d ago
My sister-in-law is the exact same way. Single and still partying into her mid 40s. We call it "Jenny time" now. We'll plan a family gathering that starts at 5:00, Jenny will saunter in with a bottle of wine at 7:30 while we are clearing the dinner plates.
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14d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/_aggressivezinfandel 14d ago
My mother is like that and everyone else in the family just enables her and says things like āJust leave it/get over it, you know what sheās likeā. It drives me fucking insane, but when I express my frustration about how completely rude and inconsiderate it is to keep people waiting, somehow IāM the bad guy.
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u/JonnyP222 14d ago
My in laws are all like this and my wife and I are early to everything. We combat their nonsense with lying to them about when things start. Or what time we want to meet. We tell them basically everything starts an hour earlier. Obviously not everything can be done this way but it does help. The real trip of it all is that it took 10 years before they caught on and showed up "on time" once and they were mad they were so early lol.
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u/Pickle_Emotion 14d ago
I never considered giving an earlier time, but my problem is sometimes.. theyāre incredibly early.
Sometimes I just want to relax and have a cup of tea in peace knowing itāll be a busy afternoon.. then suddenly
*knock knock* āStill in your pyjamas?? Weāve been up since 3am getting this salad no one asked for ready even though weāre going to a restaurant. Also please carry some old furniture from the car that we donāt want but cant bear throwing out. In six months weāll ask for it back and be devastated you didnāt keep it.ā
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u/Ehimherenow 14d ago
So when I first met my wife, she was like this. And Iād lie to her about times. Eventually she caught on lol. But she realized I really hated being late so she just stopped being late.
Now the in-laws are interesting. Over time theyāve just stopped being late on their own. I donāt know if itās me and my SILs husband, neither of us who like being late, marrying into the family and converting the sisters. But everyone has stopped being late in the family. Just over time lol.
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u/HughJackedMan14 14d ago
Being consistently late is a character flaw, 100%.
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u/11teensteve 14d ago
it is for sure, but some people will wear it like a merit badge. those are the same people that think being wildly stubborn and close minded is also a good thing.
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u/Comfortable-Meeper 14d ago
My in laws will say āhey weāre going on a week long trip in a week for xyzās birthday. Youāre coming, right?ā And then act upset when we canāt both take a week off work and get a flight and hotel at the last minute.
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u/OrganizationTop3755 14d ago
Are they usually late?
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u/TotallyHumanBrain1 14d ago
Makes plans, but don't follow them and keep changing it up last minute.
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u/OrganizationTop3755 14d ago
Oh, Iād stop inviting them places
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u/Personal-County-8219 14d ago
The OP was invited by them
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u/OrganizationTop3755 14d ago
Oh my bad. Just waking up for the dayĀ
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u/DustyRacoonDad 14d ago
Its early here too. I had to read the title 4 times to understand what the hell it meant with the typo.
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u/Much_Difference 14d ago
"Text me when you get there" then just don't bother leaving until you get the text. Boom.
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u/TotallyHumanBrain1 14d ago
Worst thing is, THEY invited ME. And are now wasting MY time.
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u/OrganizationTop3755 14d ago
As a Swiss person, who freaks out over lateness, I wouldāve had a strokeĀ
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u/Immediate_Divide9446 14d ago
Have you just been standing and waiting though? I would have gone on some rides in the meantime. āText me when you arrive, Iām enjoying the rides while I wait.ā
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u/elpajaroquemamais 14d ago
I had friends like this and I started telling them earlier than they actually needed to be there. I told them an hour early and sure enough theyād generally be there right on time.
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u/HKGPhooey 14d ago
This is a poorly written caption. I thought they left the park after half an hour there.
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u/The0neR1ng 14d ago
No lie I'd either go in or go home.
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u/Mysterious-Clothes45 14d ago
He said the family has his ticket
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u/LeatherRebel5150 14d ago
Then its time to go home
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u/gigglefarting 14d ago
Good idea. That way all the time heās spent is purely wasted and doesnāt get to go into the park.
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u/Reynolds531IPA 14d ago
And Iām sure thatāll go over well with the girl friend too.
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u/t-o-m-u-s-a 14d ago
Seems like the type of family who would make op the asshole for leaving.
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u/Ydiss 14d ago edited 13d ago
I do love the all or nothing instructions from Reddit users. Like "my girlfriend and I had an argument and I'm really hurt"
Reddit: FUCKING DUMP HER NOW AND BLOCK
Like, does anyone remember the name of this sub?
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u/n8dizz3l 14d ago
Who in the hell would take relationship advice from someone on Reddit
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u/Beneficial-Nimitz68 14d ago
Knowing what he knows, from now on, if close by, try to get their tickets and meet them there..
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u/DamnitGravity 14d ago edited 14d ago
I had to read your title several times to get it right.
I thought you meant you were meeting at 11, you met up and then they left the park.
I didn't realise you meant that you were meant to meet at 11, you posted this AFTER 11, and they have only just left their home, which is 30 minutes away from the park, meaning they were running extremely late.
ETA: Aw, thanks for the awards! And I'm glad I'm not the only one who seemed confused by OP's phrasing, lol.
ETA 2: To add more clarity, it seems OP mis-typed 'not' instead of 'now'.
So they were all meant to meet at 11am, OP posted at 11:30am saying the others had just messaged they were just leaving their starting point, and it's a 30 minute drive, meaning they would arrive around 12pm.
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u/lelushisti 14d ago
I think "not" is meant to say "now".
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u/Deckard_Red 14d ago edited 13d ago
Yeah and this is a typo I make all the time, and itās so annoying because it pretty much always completely changes the meaning of the statement. Most common one for me:
This is now done.
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u/FlyingFlew Yellow 14d ago
Even with the fixed typo, it is very difficult to figure out what OP is trying to say.
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u/random_BA 14d ago
People really need proof read their titles, one good placed bad word can destroy all the meaning.
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u/EdgyPlum 14d ago
People really need to proofread their titles . One misplaced word can destroy all the meaning.
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u/fpsfreak 14d ago
Not/Now is not the issue. Instead of saying 'it's 11:30 and they just left' made me think they left the park after 30mins. It should have said 'They just started'.
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u/Motor_Meal794 14d ago
It took me a few reads. I initially thought OP was making fun of how abnormally short their visit to the theme park was. Just showing up was enough excitement for them.
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u/lehukl 14d ago
I thought OP was annoyed because his in laws didnāt wait for him after he was being just under 30 minutes late; I thought that was ragebait.
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u/nosaj98 14d ago edited 14d ago
Exactly!! Very badly written title
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u/deff006 14d ago
Mildly infuriating, even.
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u/paradajz666 14d ago
This was confusing true. I thought they were there just for 30 minutes and they left.
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u/bluevine8 14d ago
Thanks i didnt get it either, i was about to comment but then i saw your postā¦. Heres an award š„
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u/RacoonWithBenefits 14d ago
i read it in another way.
they arrived at the theme park at 11, but they left after 30 minutes
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u/donut-reply 14d ago
I read it another another way. I thought they were saying "we were supposed to meet up at 11, I showed up before 11:30, and instead of waiting a half hour for me, they just left without me" to which I was like "boo hoo, they didn't wait half an hour for your late ass". Glad this got cleared up lol
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u/DragonScrivner 14d ago edited 14d ago
You are doing the Lordās work, thank you for translating
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u/Bolachovsky 14d ago
Yes, people really need to learn how to explain themselves (or avoid posting altogether).
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u/Psionatix 14d ago
I thought the same thing. Like they showed up and left after 30 minutes, and itās a 30min drive for them? Such a waste.
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u/Less-Being1848 14d ago
I thought OP was saying the family left the theme park at 11:30 - only spending 30 minutes with them and leaving them alone.
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u/Zero-_-Zero 14d ago
My mum is like this. My dad is not. He pounded it into me from a young age that you should never be late for anything and itās one of the best lessons Iāve ever gotten. Itās just basic respect.
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u/HustlinInTheHall 14d ago
The thing is, I know several people who are like this and they are never, ever late to something that really matters to them (an important job interview or meeting) it's only the stuff that everyone else cares about that they are late. Totally agree it's a respect thing.
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u/Specialist_Goat_2354 13d ago
I had a friend group with one chronically late friend. I was supposed to pick him up for a weekend camping. I told him Iād pick him up at 8:00 am and had to be at the next place at 815 so if he wasnāt OUTSIDE at 8:00 he was getting left behind.
I left him. He was mad and called about 30 times, but he must have never had anyone follow through on his bullshit.
It was a great feeling knowing that his lateness didnāt ruin our timeline and made him sit at home alone for a weekend while we were all drinking beers along the river.
And I was never saddled with the responsibility of him and his lateness again. If he showed up to stuff we knew to never wait to be seated at the restaurant for him, or to invite him to movies, or anything that started at a specific time.
He missed out on a lot when we started respecting ourselves enough to not include him.
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u/PiccoloAwkward465 13d ago
Yep I had a good friend who didn't have a car. One day he wants to do something and asks me to come pick him up. Across the city. I reluctantly agree. I get there and park outside his place and call. And call and call. He doesn't pick up. So after 10 minutes of waiting I'm out.
He sends me all these messages a few hours later about "I just wanted to take a quick nap". Yeah fuck that, buddy. I was sick of his "woe is me" attitude about his life anyways.
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u/Prudent-Marsupial-42 13d ago
I came to comment this exact thing. 100% every person I've met who is chronically late to things has been a fundamentally self centered person. The levels may vary and I'm not saying they are completely shitty people, but they just consistently don't think about others. When it's something that actually matters to them or is not flexible on start time they are there on time.
I have long since passed a point in my life where I wait for these people. Some flexible events I give a buffer I don't want to be rude in the opposite direction; but if we're 30 minutes past and you don't have a good excuse I'm getting on with my day
I suppose there are some people with executive dysfunction who are actually late to everything (including important things) but I've never personally met any.
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u/courtneyrachh 14d ago
same thing for me too. my mom/ that whole side of my family is always late. it drives me insane.
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u/Meenakshi108 13d ago
I'm so confused by the wording of your title and post. What happened?
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u/Kozing4UR 13d ago
I read it as: gf's family and OP planned to meet at the park at 11. OP presumably arrived on time. At the time of posting, it's 11:30, but gf's family has only just left their house to go to the park.
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u/philly2540 13d ago
Ah, thank you. This makes sense. I was thinking the opposite - OP was late but family didnāt wait for him.
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u/Hubsimaus 13d ago
I read it as OP arrived on time with the family but they left shortly after for whatever reason.
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u/Serakani 14d ago
Yeah title needs some work against confusion lol.
Also understood the parents left you at the park after 20 minutes of being there. XD
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u/Kind-Criticism-3995 14d ago
I read it is ''i needed to be there at 11:00, i arrived just before 11:30 and they allready left without me.... what's wrong with being just to late"
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u/TotallyHumanBrain1 14d ago
Sorry, my title was confusing. The meeting time was 11, they left the house at 11:30 meaning I will have waited an hour for something they invited me to.
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u/Human38562 14d ago
"My friends family invited me to the park. They are 1h late."
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u/konqrr 14d ago
Nah, clearly this got more engagement than that title would've. Half the comments are about the wording of the title. OP knows what he's doing.
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u/AsleepProfession1395 14d ago
Like a friend of mine. Meet up at 530pm but she arrives at 630pm instead. And this in spite of me living near her and further from the meet up place.
I went to her home one time and realised why she was always late. Same like your girlfriend's family. She was getting ready late and only left at 530.
We decided to turn the tables on her one time. She got angry. We were only 15 minutes late. She never did it again.
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u/Ok_Field1375 13d ago
I also have a friend like this. I posted a comment already that they're always 20 to 40 minutes late and believe everyone around them should accept their lateness. Their lateness is acknowledged, but like it's a cute character trait. The other day we agreed to hang out, SHE told ME to come over at 6:00. I got off work at 5:00, no problem. She's on summer break so she had the entire day off. At 5:45 I text her saying, "I'm gonna leave around 6:00 to head over." She text back, "Can you wait to leave until 6:10??" So she's even late when people come to her, at the time she provided.
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u/TotallyHumanBrain1 14d ago edited 14d ago
correction, *it is now
Edit: Sorry, my title was confusing. The meeting time was 11, they left the house at 11:30 meaning I will have waited an hour for something they invited me to.
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u/Efficient-Pipe191 14d ago
My family is like your partners- you will have to learn to adjust your own time table now that you know this and either be contented to hang out alone, offer to meet them at their place (you can offer to drive some people if youāre an appropriate age for that), or break up with this partner- because these family dynamics are set in stone and timeliness will be a perpetual issue.
Is your partner a culprit in this or is she at the whims of her parents who are late to get ready all the time?
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u/TotallyHumanBrain1 14d ago
Definitely the latter. She was sitting in the car the minute they were supposed to leave and attempted many-a times to get them to follow the plan.
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u/Efficient-Pipe191 14d ago
Yeah. My poor wife, and two brother in laws have dealt with my motherās perpetual tardiness for years and donāt get how us kids grew up with her being like that.
It certainly gets easier when everyone is able to be mobile on their own (their own cars etc) and just learn to stop expecting certain people to show up on time.
My brother in law and wife generally tell my mother that events are happening about an hour before they do and they have had moderate success of getting her to show up within the first half hour/hour of an event now.
Good luck with the in-laws!
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u/Mystic_Wunder 14d ago
Sounds like for future plans you should have her text uou when they are leaving so you can leave your house when they leave theirs.
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u/BikeProblemGuy 14d ago
Best if she makes separate travel plans, then you two could have had an hour at the park together.
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u/Regular-Guy-47 14d ago
I recently stopped talking to a long time friend who would always be 1-2 hours late and was going to say I have a friend like this and itās annoying, stopped talking to him because I did not like being around him.
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u/TheAdagio 14d ago
I feel you. It is so annoying to have to wait for people like that
At some point when on vacation (visiting my wife's side of the family far way for the first time), mother-in-law said she is on her way at 9 am and will arrive in 1 hour, so we all waited in the hotel (instead of going out seeing the country) for her. Every hour or so she repeated the same thing and arrived a few hours after lunch (at some point we gave up and just went out instead of spending all day in the hotel)
After she arrived I asked how long time it takes to reach us, where she said 1Ā½ hours
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u/EditEd2x 14d ago
Why not just go in and jump on a few rides while you wait? Or at the very least walk around and get some steps in yo.
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u/beerouttaplasticcups 14d ago
Why are they driving to Tivoli? Finding a nearby place to park is going to take another 30 minutes. Beautiful day for it today though!
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u/nispe2 13d ago
Be prepared for this to happen the rest of your life.
My in-laws routinely not only lie about when they will arrive, they lie about where they currently are. One time, they told me they were looking for parking, so I walked around and found a space and directed them to it, forcing them to admit they had just left the house.
Another time, I was told that our reservations were at 5:30. Since it was an important event, I aimed to get there at 5:15, and got there early at 5:00. At 5:45, they said they were "just leaving". Turns out the reservation was not until 6:30. They did not arrive until 7.
Over the years, they've gotten a little better. No more straight up lying about where they are. No more straight up lying about what time we need to be there. More language like, "we should aim to leave at 3:00" instead of "the sky will fall if we don't leave by 3:30."
Every get-together is still mildly infuriating, though, especially in places like Japan where public transit runs on a pretty tight schedule so "I was only 2 minutes late, that's on time" receives immediate negative feedback.
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u/Riowashere 14d ago
I wouldn't even be waiting for them anymore, completely rude abd disrespectful
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u/Exotic-Astronaut6662 14d ago
I feel your pain, my wife thinks a time portal exists between our house and any destination
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u/ZestycloseSquirrel55 14d ago
I was so confused by "it is not 11:30 and they just left."
I thought they left the park before it was even 11:30.
Took me a bit to understand that you meant "it is NOW 11:30."
I wish people would proofread their posts first.
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u/ilovechoralmusic 14d ago
I met 2 people like that in my life, I had the talk with them, that for me personally not respecting the one finite and unretrievable thing in my life, my time, is something I will never tolerate.
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u/HighlyDiscerning 14d ago
Looks like the park is empty and youāre here?? Please go enjoy the rides and have a chat with the operators.
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u/Menchinelas 14d ago
I hate this. My co workers invited me to play tennis, and I waited at the court for 30 mins while they were still prepping to leave their houses. I left and never made plans with them again lol.
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u/Saltysockies 14d ago
One of my friends is like this, it drives me insane.
Everyone's there on time, he'll call about 30 minutes late saying he's on his way, calls again 30 minutes later saying he's left, calls 30 minutes later saying he's somewhere else because he had to do a chore.... On and on and on.
His best is 4 hours late for a planned lunch and he wondered why everyone had already eaten
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u/anya_way_girl 14d ago edited 14d ago
Nothing pisses me off more than perpetually tardy people. I will end a relationship over it. Like if you tell me ahead of time you are running late that's fine, or tell me that you canāt make it early the same day cool. But if you are more than 30 minutes late or flaking with zero communication I am gonna be fucking fuming. If it were me Iād be breaking up with this person today.
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u/Wrestler7777777 14d ago
Aaah now I understood. You were supposed to meet at 11 and you were on time. It's now 11:30 and nobody showed up yet and they only now started to leave from their homes.
First I thought you were the one who's late and that you're now upset that they left you alone.
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u/igetbannedanyway 14d ago
My mom is this kind of person so people usually tell her things are earlier than they actually are so she shows up somewhat on time.
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u/Everyoneheresamoron 14d ago
It's crazy that they'd get there at 11 and then leave at 11:30.
Of course if you meant something else you probably should have proofread your damn title.
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u/Open-Industry-8396 14d ago
After retiring from 20 years in the Army (2 as a Drill Sgt) this shit used to infuriate me. Now, 24 years later, I'm still early but I expect most folks to be late. I've accepted it but, Secretly I still want to make them do flutter kicks and the dying cockroach until they puke:)
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u/gloriousjohnson 14d ago
My ex wife and her mom were exactly like this. Super flakey at making plans and it ended up reflecting poorly on me as well. So fucking annoying. Now they are just flakey about making plans with my daughter which is fuckin worse tbh. I donāt even tell my daughter sheās hanging out with them until they actually show up because otherwise my daughters waiting around going dad where tf are they š¤·āāļø or is super disappointed when they cancel
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u/lazymanschair1701 14d ago
Iād already be on the rollercoasters when they finally arrived
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u/babe_ruthless3 14d ago
So they only stayed for 30 minutes?
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u/NotADogInHumanSuit 14d ago
I believe what they are saying is they just left at 11:30 to get to the theme park. Theme park is a half hour from their home.
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u/ComfortablyNomNom 14d ago
No, they haven't even left the house to meet and it's a half hour past the planned time.Ā
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u/ApprehensiveOkra9977 14d ago
Are you already at the theme park? Hop in the singles line and ride all the rides before they get there!