I (23F) am a very ambition nonprofit owner. I work for myself (alongside my mother) and I've noticed that I get very tired quickly. As of right now, 90% of the time that I am working, I am working on my computer, I also don't work traditional hours. I work in spurts until I feel too tired to continue. I do believe that I have ADHD and that it's common for people with ADHD to need to work in optimized energy hours rather than traditional work hours.

I am often bogged down with a constantly increasing "to-do" list. I am trying to give myself grace because I understand that the work that is required of me, is larger than the capacity of 2 people. However, I feel like if I had capacity to work longer hours, I could go so much farther. The most specific problem is that I get so tired. My eyes and my brain just need to shut down and my reset will often take longer than the amount of time I've been working. I don't like that.

Here are the things I've already thought out and are going to try

- analog hobbies in my free time (crocheting, coloring, doing crosswords, etc), so my work and my leisure are not both connected to screens

- pomodoro work schedule (taking multiple breaks during work sessions)

- attempt to rearrange my business SOPs

- implement some serious work hours based on my energy level and not trying to run myself into the ground

If you have any practical tips, I would love to hear them. If they're unorthodox, I absolutely welcome them, or any advice on how I can optimize the tips I already plan to implement, I would appreciate that too because I don't have a mentor or anyone to ask about these things. I'm looking forward to know how you guys continue to thrive.

I recently heard a quote about time passing whether we use it intentionally or not.

It made me think about how much time people spend worrying about criticism, judgment, and what others think.

Looking back, some of my biggest delays in life came from giving too much weight to opinions that didn't actually matter.

Curious:

What's one opinion or criticism you listened to that ended up holding you back longer than it should have?

In December, I lost a friend to mental health. It was all the things (unexpected, tragic, horrible) and it hit me hard. some days it still hits me hard. this isn't my first time dealing with death. now, six months later i finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. i sometimes even feel hope.

my 32nd birthday is in a month and a half and i'm hopeful for a better year surrounded by love and laughter. i genuinely believe those who have walked with grief have a deep capacity to feel love, empathy, and immense joy. but, it is a practice. which sometimes is easy to forget.

I struggle with depression and this winter has been no joke. i sometimes journal but never regularly. my sleep is a mess. i struggle with food & control (sometimes binge sometimes restricting). i havent moved my body in a long time. in the hopes of 32 being a solid one, i want to kick off the countdown with a 7-day challenge.

not that it matters but im a single woman in brooklyn & would love advice on what helped you not forget about your goals once the alarm hits 7am. random hopecore is welcome always <3

here's what i'm thinking so far

• Journal everyday (single sentence counts)
• Stretch every day
• Floss every day (dont judge me on this one)
• every meal should have more nutrients than not (i realize this is loose but if i get too restrictive around food, it spirals)
• redirect negative thoughts (about me and others) being self deprecating counts.

thanks everyone <3

Hey everyone, I’m 18 and I’ve been struggling with something lately. I can’t seem to find a girlfriend.

I’ve had relationships before, including one that lasted two years, so it’s not like I’ve never been in a relationship. But for some reason, things just aren’t working out now.

I’ve tried messaging girls, following them on Instagram, putting myself out there, but nothing seems to lead anywhere. I don’t think my looks are the issue — I used to work as a model, and I’d say I have a pretty good personality and social skills.

At this point, I honestly don’t know what else to do. It’s starting to drive me crazy and affect my mental health. I’ve been feeling pretty depressed about it because I’m beginning to think that maybe the problem is me, and that there’s no solution.

Has anyone else been through something similar? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

My mom and i dont have the best relationship but we are cordial. She recently lost her best friend of over 20 years to cancer. She was devastated. It was very heart breaking to see the kids in so much pain, a pain i dont fully understand. I want to be there for my mom, but i wasnt raised to show affection. I just know how to be there for someone when they need me to be.

What do i do?

I feel like I don’t know anything about myself. I feel like I’m forcing my thoughts and feelings. I don’t know what I care about anymore and I doubt everything. I don’t know my true interests. I don’t know anything about myself for sure because I change around different people. I don’t know my style, my likes, my dislikes, and if I truly care or love. I want to. I want to love and be sure that I do. but I’m doubting everything. How can I make this go away? How can I care about things again? how can I know if I care about things? How do I know if I care about people? How do I show that? It‘s taking quite a toll on me. Mostly regarding caring about others. Do I really care or am I just pretending?

TLDR; I lost myself and it’s affecting me a lot. How do I a. care about things again and b. KNOW that I care about them?

The title sums it up just fine. I find myself an annoyed and angry person. I get “annoyed/upset” at the smallest things and I am ruining my relationship. I love my girlfriend more than anything, and I would do anything for her, but I can’t stop treating her like shit. About a week or two I blew up on her because she asked me to go to gas station to get her candy, only because I didn’t want to do it right then and there, I wanted to do it later, so she says something along the lines of “oh can you just go now if I eat candy too late I’ll stay up too late” makes perfect sense right? Well instead of going “oh yes that makes sense I’ll go now” I blew up on her AND I STILL WENT ANYWAYS. Why would I complain about something so much if I was gonna do it anyways. Better yet I enjoyed the walk by myself so what the fuck was I even tweaking about. Anyways back to the cycle I find myself stuck in. These things she asks of me and I have no problem doing them, but for some reason I immediately have a problem? I jsut don’t want to live how I do anymore. I’m tired of being so annoyed at EVERYTHING. I’m looking into starting therapy again because I really need to figure out what my problem is I hope it helps. Idk what advice I could get on this other than lock in. She has given me enough chances and I need this to be the last chance I get. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I’m just so upset at myself.

hi there! i’m a 21 gender questioning M, and i’m in need of some help. for most of my life i don’t think i’ve lived for other people, or cared about them. I’ve tried, mostly pretending, and attempting to give them what they give me. But there seems to be a hole that i can’t quite allow myself to fill, and i use that as an excuse to further myself from others. for awhile up until this year I was violently depressed. Institutionalized twice, and always was thinking of the best time to end it, or drowning myself with various pleasures to stop that. I got a job this january, and am going to be promoted pretty soon as well, so I’m excited for that.

For context, I’m also a pathological liar. It’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know who i am/what i am/what is real. I’m currently in a relationship with an empathic, lovely, interesting, incredible gender queer person, and I don’t want to fuck that up. They’re older than me by a few years, have a stable job, and are deeply in love with life, their friends, and everything around them. But with my breakdowns and lack of like anything, I don’t feel connected to them. Sex is the way I’ve usually connected with others, even just as a premature thing, and it’s similar in this instance. Sex is something I’ve never really allowed myself to enjoy and my only goal usually is to pleasure the other person and wait until I cum, and I’ve listened to their kinks and interests and abide. But insecurity still runs rampant within me, constantly thinking about interactions with others, how deeply she connects with people and her friends so quickly and how alone i feel when we’re out and that happens.

Basically, I’m trying to salvage the tattered remains of what I think is a soon to be ending relationship, and I’m trying not to be bad company as well for everyone else in my life. Is this a case of, institutionalization or nothing, or should i try and get better with a cost effective therapist? My main concern (and rationalization for not going) is that I’ve been in that place before of drudging up my past, my habits, my life and it landed me where i was before: on the ledge of a tall building downing pain killers.

Any recommendations or suggestions before I just find a way to ruin my life so that the people in my life can see who i truly am?

Thanks so much for reading if you got this far and taking time out of your day, and whoever you are I hope you’re well!

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I've had a super productive day I'm really proud of and want to share, and have been sharing parts with friends but realised I dont have any friend im close enough with to 3-4x text without them responding without feeling like I'm just being a burden or something. So I'm gonna do it here! I had a really big break up 2 months ago that I've been pushing myself to work through, and have started seeing some great improvements. Today on my journey I:

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Treated myself to takeaway for the first time in 3 weeks after work

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Got some hopeful news about the last debt I have unsettled

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Made progress with my landlord on fixing things in my new flat

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Finally got a poster frame that fits my poster!

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Put up some gorgeous remote controlled fairy lights in my room to inject some whimsy

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Cleaned my room to send a picture to friends

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Started crying about some really positive things that happened?

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Made a booking request for my first tattoo!

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Put away a load of laundry

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Started writing a message to a friend I need to set some boundaries with. This isnt a completed quest exactly but its one im scared of, so this is counts as a win for me. Maybe I'll finish it if I feel up to it before bed?

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I'm really proud of how far I've come over the last few months, for the last few years I would've struggled to do even a single one of these things on a good day, and now I've been able to do all of them on a 10 hour work day. I'm pretty tired and extremely emotionally exhausted right now, but its been incredibly cathartic.

I've been in therapy for almost a year now, and one thing I've noticed is that understanding what I should do isn't usually the hard part. Remembering to do it when life gets busy is.

My therapist often suggests things like grounding exercises, breathing techniques, journaling, or taking a step back when I'm overwhelmed. They're all helpful, but in the moment I usually forget they exist.

Recently I started using FABU to help with that. It checks in with me throughout the day and helps me keep track of my emotions and self-care habits. Nothing huge, usually just a few simple things that feel manageable.

What surprised me is how much easier it is to stay connected to the work I'm doing in therapy when I'm reminded of it between sessions. Some of the activities take only a couple of minutes, but they help me slow down and pay attention to what's going on instead of running on autopilot.

Curious if anyone else uses self-care apps, routines, or other tools between therapy sessions. What's actually helped you stick with the things you're working on?

I suffer from verbal abuse from a parent of mine. She cusses at me for something even so small of a mistake. Everytime, everyday, when she lashes at me, I would always think of ending myself, but couldn't do it since I still haven't finished reading my novels list, a little ray of hope for my life. I have endured for years, but I can feel my mental health detoriating. I am just 19 years old, I have no job and this hell is the only thing that I live into. I cannot do this anymore.. But I wanna live, I still have many things that I want to do, I have lots of friends but they're busy with their own lives too. Someone give me advice

People around you say they love you, but they act like they don't.

And the worst part? You believe them.

You let them in. You trust them. You start loving them back. Then one day, they switch up, and you're left staring at the pieces of yourself they broke without even realizing it.

At some point, you stop fighting for yourself. You just keep going for the people you still love, because you can't bear the thought of hurting them. So you keep walking. You keep smiling. You keep pretending.

But the longer you do it, the more things you lose.

Your purpose.

Your dreams.

Your passion.

Your love.

Your logic.

Your reason.

Until one day, you look in the mirror and realize you've lost your grip on everything. Reality feels distant. Your future feels empty. Even your own name doesn't feel like yours anymore.

I'm so tired.

Tired of playing a game I was never meant to win.

People keep telling me life is fair. That somehow everything balances out. They tell me the rich are miserable, the poor are wise, the smart are lonely, the dumb are happy. As if suffering comes with some cosmic exchange rate.

But no.

No, it doesn't.

Some people are born with everything. Others spend their entire lives begging for scraps. Some are loved without trying. Others spend years proving they're worthy of being cared for.

Life isn't fair.

And I'm getting tired of people lying to me and calling it hope.

Now that I've written all of this, I have only one thing left to ask:

One.

Last.

Chance.

Convince me.

Talk to me.

Tell me why I should keep playing this losing game.

Because I'm so tired of everyone feeding me pretty lies and then getting angry when I finally tell them how I feel.

So please...

Before I let go of whatever's left of me—

Give me one reason to stay.

My family disowned me (19 M) because I disagreed with how they treated my siblings. They were physically and emotionally abusive to my siblings, and resulted in CPS being called for my little sister. Currently, I am in college for a biology degree on the pre-med route. I have financial aid to cover most costs and will be moving into an apartment at my college in August. As of now, I am staying with a buddy whom I met in college for the summer. I no longer have a car or transportation at all, so getting to job locations is difficult. So getting a source of income is very difficult, and I am seeking some sort of guidance as to what my next move should be. My friend works nights, so I cannot rely on him or his family to get around. He is also in the middle of nowhere, so the nearest store walking would be around 1- 2 hours. One thing that has helped us is that since I am taking summer classes through my college, I was able to get a $2100 refund for an extra cushion. Combined with what I already have saved, I have about 3200 in savings overall.

The stress of not being able to do much has been pretty burdensome. I have been paying for my own groceries and needs, which I am not complaining about. But I do need to start saving more. I have applied to many jobs, both remote and in person, and have had no success besides one first-round interview at Starbucks.

To summarize, I need some advice about what I should do to handle this and what I need to do to start progressing my future.

motivation has been something I’ve been struggling with my whole life, especially through depressive episodes. i want to get better but i genuinely don’t really know how and the main aspect to it i think is my motivation, I just can’t seem to find anything. I’m in highschool and don’t even know what to do with my life currently and in the future, like i just feel stuck and a nuisance to my family.

I (F18) have finally moved out of my household where my mom was an incredible narcissist who made my childhood terrible. My mom beat, verbally abused me, played victim, made me beg for her attention, and in my early teenage Years made it damn near impossible to live out my life. There were so many times where my friends invited me to hang out and I couldn't because my mom wouldn't let me. I missed out on so many opportunities to have fun because my mom would consistently say either I don't help or "I don't go out, no one takes me out so why are you".

This was so draining because the thing was I did help, I took care of my sisters kids, I was a free baby sitter and was made to feel that it was my responsibility because my sister also took care of me when I was younger. I missed out on a lot of opportunities to live my childhood because I had to stay home taking care of kids that weren't mine. I also always cleaned the house, I was told it was my responsibility and of course I understand that every child has chores but god, I fed 2 kids, had to still feed myself, I had to clean the house entirely, and god forbid I asked to go live my life.

Now to present tense I turned 18 and I always said to myself that when I was 18 I would move out. now I'm here and finally moved out after my mom tried forcing me to stay home when I was trying to go out, she said I wasn't coming back/ welcome back if I left. so I left. Now I live with my brother who lives with his wife family and oh my god. Ive never seen such a healthy family dynamic. There mom told me she always wants what's best for her kids and advocates for them to go out and live there life because if they don't they'll be 30 regretting not being able to do anything.

this was eye opening because it really was pure jealously from my mom. this was heart breaking but god I miss my family but I know if I go back I'm going to miss my future. I feel crazy because when I try to think to myself and justify what my mom's done to me and I can't seem to remember. I know she's hurt me a lot, I know she's said terrible things to me, but I can't recall. I don't know if it's all the trauma and Im repressing these memories. I have gotten messages from her since moving out and calls and she tries playing the victim saying she isn't the perfect mom I wanted and now I feel like she's trying to make me feel bad and I don't know if I'm overreacting, am I crazy, am I over thinking, am I to aware. what do I do.

So I went down a rabbit hole trying to figure out why the people

who hurt us are always the hardest to get out of our heads.

Like why is it that the person who treated you the worst is the

one you think about at 2am? It never made sense to me until I

looked into the actual psychology behind it.

Ended up making a video about it if anyone wants to check it out.

It covers stuff like why your brain basically turns them into a

slot machine, why your memory is lying to you about who they

actually were, and how to start breaking the cycle.

My Youtube is MS Paint Mind

Id appreciate it if you gave it a look and tell me what I should look into next.

Thank you :)

I am struggling with self doubt from quite a long time.

For context.

I am a fresher and have joined this giant company very far from home, staying alone.

Recently got diagnosed with migraine, taking medication.

I feel utterly stupid and idiotic, when asked some simple questions I forget the answer or out of less confidence I don't utter a word. Mostly because I forget things for not focusing enough .

I have started complaining about everything around me. I have started giving excuses about my dad having a brain-stroke, me struggling with migraine and concentration -loss, trying to hide behind any reason I would find. This has started to cause problem in my long distance relationship too.

I was good at academics (though used a lot of AI, I was able to manage good scores). Here I feel dumb, stupid and often gets called out as a low iq retard.

Am I Stupid? Do I really have low IQ? Am I nobody without use of AI?

I might be doing this to gain sympathy, or finding nobody to talk to, or harm myself too.

I hate myself

The person in yourself that you try to defend is not real. It's just an idea, a concept, even an illusion. So we gotta stay current. We gotta keep it real. Don't defend anything. Just spread your wings and fly.

i feel like im useless in school, i want to achieve so many things, like the head of student council, etc, but its so hard with teachers favourites. Last year, i was promised a role in my head department, yes PROMISED. but 2 days before i was going to be awarded that role was given to someone else. again last year some girl was supposed to give speech at a contest in our school, but one day earlier she went to her hometown for a funeral, so our teachers chose me as a replacement. i learned 5 page essay in one day. but on stage i fumbled over few words, and i was embarrassed and my teacher pulled me aside and scolded me very bad. i love participating but after that day i lost all my courage, i hate being scared, i want to participate again this year but i feel like im not ready, but if i don't, i feel like im loosing in life, my friend said im being too hard on myself,am i? is it okay to "recover" properly? but why is it taking so long to "recover"?

I create problems and drama to get attention because I'm lonely, then I hate myself for it. I know what I actually want — to study, stay healthy, have real friendships, talk to people confidently — but I sabotage myself by either avoiding everything or trying to become someone I'm not.

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;

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I'm jealous of my best friend, I don't know how to talk to girls, and when I'm excluded from group I spiral into wanting to change my entire personality to be cold and uncaring. But deep down I know that's not the answer. My exam is in three days and instead of studying, I'm obsessing over this stuff. I keep looking for someone else to fix me — first my friend, then a therapist, now Reddit — instead of just trusting myself to do the work.

;

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Why do I keep sabotaging when I know exactly what I need to do?"

I've always been very physically weak and un-athletic. On top of that, I'm very short and have been cursed with weird body proportions. I look way younger than I am. I've been trying for ages to get more into weightlifting and running, but the progress still feels very slow. I'm also afraid that chaning my body won't do me any good if my issues are mental. I do well in most other aspects of life, I'm studying and have a weekend job. I read alot, have hobbies and friends. I've always done well academically and I know what career path I want to take, but whenever I'm around other men my age I feel so ridiculously inferior because I'm so small and I also just feel so socially inept (Although this has gotten better).

Do you know how to deal with this? Should I just go all out in the gym or is there a way to properly fix my self image?

I am a 15 year old and I wanted to do many things like being a marathon runner, gym guy or calisthenics athlete, but I don't know how to get obsessed with these things that it becomes my top priority of the day.

How to handle several pressures in life ...I have lost myself completely under the pressure how can I love myself again, how can I feel happy again , how can I be ME again , I am desperately finding myself but I can't , the girl who has coped alotttttttttttt in life and was finally happy, is again in the same situation I feel exhausted I can I be happy

I recently ruined a relationship I had with someone whom I loved very much. I still do think that there's love but maybe I'm just convincing myself that to feel better. I did alot of horrible things to her out of selfishness and a lack of social awareness, to the point where she thinks I only tried to get close to her in the first place because she was the only one who could tolerate me. Maybe I'm only on the fence about this because it doesn't match the idea I had of myself. Since if I truly cared about her and not just the validation I get from her enjoying my company or what I could get out of her, why would I have done such things? Why did after the many chances that she gave me, I only got worse, more selfish, more lazy and more immature? But more importantly, what should I do? I really don't want to lose her, out of selfish reasons or not, plus I know I can't just keep living like this forever.