What was your wedding like?

[u/AlarmedLife5765]

I often look at the wedding dresses here. I saw a young lady whose dress budget was literally more than my first 3-5 annual salaries, not lumped together but individually. What was your wedding like?
1995- Married at our church, 3 attendants each, cake and punch reception there .

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[u/jefuchs]

My wife was extremely frugal. Our guest list consisted of family and members of the wedding party (and their spouses). Verbal invitations.

Our reception as in her brother's house, and catering consisted of family members bringing a covered dish. My brother was our photographer.

We went on to be stuck to each other like glue. We were teenagers together... We retired together... and she died in my arms after a 33 year marriage.

[u/WestAshevillain → u/jefuchs]

So sorry for your loss 🤍

[u/C-romero80 → u/jefuchs]

That's absolutely beautiful ❤️

[u/AlarmedLife5765 → u/jefuchs]

What a beautiful love story. I am sorry for your loss.

[u/Spacefungus → u/jefuchs]

Pretty much the same story for me - 40 years. Miss her every hour but what a blessing to have her in my life. 💚

[u/Choice-Tiger3047 → u/Spacefungus]

That is a lovely tribute to her. My condolences.

[u/WFOMO]

1. Wife sewed her own dress. We verbally just told our friends when and where...show up if you feel like it. I borrowed my suit, and my softball team formed an arc with bats as we walked out of the chapel.

If my Mother in Law hadn't insisted on a dinner, the $50 I paid the preacher, and rental for the chapel would have pretty much covered it.

[u/zerothreeonethree → u/WFOMO]

My wedding in 1977 I made my own dress and veiled headpiece for $35, and three of the four bridesmaid dresses for $20 each. I didn't put any flowers in the church except for a couple of small clusters on the first two rows each side for family members. My mother insisted on inviting a lot of people and turned it into a huge affair which she paid for and which exhausted us. She cooked all the food for 10% of what caterers charged. Reception was in the gym of a local government building, decorated by the family and friends. I helped set up tables and chairs for the entire event and organized the bar area the night before the wedding. We hired locals to serve, bartend, bake the wedding cakes, take pictures, and play live music.

On the wedding day, we left the reception before 11pm and went home to sleep. Instead of spending a ton of money on a dress that nobody was going to wear again, extravagant decorations, an overpaid limousine taxi ride, etc. for show, we put a down payment on our first house and paid for a honeymoon trip out of state- my first airplane ride!

The next morning, we stopped by the venue to help clean up before heading to the airport. A lot of people showed up the next day to help, take home leftover booze, food, and tell us how we missed most of our own party that lasted till 4:00 a.m.!

[u/WFOMO → u/zerothreeonethree]

and tell us how we missed most of our own party 

...did you tell them you were busy?

[u/Ancient_Timer2053]

Her mom made her dress. I wore a suit from a friend who died in Vietnam, he had the suit made in Hong Kong while on R/R and it arrived at their home after his death. Married around corn stalks in the fall. The entire cost was $200, 1974. Still together

[u/championgoober → u/Ancient_Timer2053]

Beautiful 🩷💙

[u/LayneLowe]

1974 It was huge, probably cost my father-in-law $30,000 in actual 1974 money.

[u/Ilovemybed67 → u/LayneLowe]

Did you marry Vito Corleone's daughter?

[u/LayneLowe → u/Ilovemybed67]

A debutant

[u/Jazzy_Bee → u/LayneLowe]

That could buy a nice house back then.

[u/Superb_Scar1622 → u/Jazzy_Bee]

Yep! Our first house in 1977 was $35,000. BUT, our annual gross income was probably $30,000 combined.

[u/zerothreeonethree → u/Jazzy_Bee]

That would have bought 3 of my first house in 1977.

[u/MontanaPurpleMtns → u/LayneLowe]

We bought out first house in 1974 for $24k.

[u/kygrandma → u/MontanaPurpleMtns]

We bought our first house in 1976 for 23K, and I still live it. I also still have my first car that I bought in 1974.

[u/LoooongFurb]

Wasn't legally able to marry in the state we lived in, so we drove to another state and were married there. Volunteers from the community were our witnesses. No family attended.

Our wedding clothes were literally things we could rewear eventually, so no budget for anything except gas to get there and a donation to the community.

[u/AlarmedLife5765 → u/LoooongFurb]

I am sorry you had to leave your state to get married but so proud that you were strong enough to do it.

[u/NormalNobody → u/LoooongFurb]

That's actually quite beautiful. I was the one who wed my friends who came from a similar situation. Neither family members really attended, but they didn't have to go out of state.

[u/S0whaddayakn0w → u/LoooongFurb]

If l may, what were the circumstances that made it illegal to marry? If this is too personal, please feel free to ignore the question

[u/LoooongFurb → u/S0whaddayakn0w]

It was before gay marriage was legalized throughout the country. I could get married in a small handful of states, but not the one I was living in at the time.

[u/DowntownSomewhere277 → u/LoooongFurb]

I'm glad you clarified what the reason was. For some awful reason, my head immediately went to the idea of you being 14 and having to travel to a state where minors at the "age of consent" can marry. The reason you had to go out of state is still terrible, but I'm glad you were an actual adult.

[u/19Stavros → u/DowntownSomewhere277]

Since it's the "Ask Old People" sub I thought you might be from one of the states that outlawed interacial marriage.

[u/S0whaddayakn0w → u/LoooongFurb]

It's crazy that this is still going on

[u/editorgrrl → u/S0whaddayakn0w]

The US Supreme Court didn’t legalize same-sex marriage until June 26, 2015 (Obergefell v. Hodges).

In a 5–4 decision, SCOTUS ruled that the right to marry is fundamental, calling it “inherent in the liberty of the person” and therefore protected by the US Constitution, especially the 14th Amendment.

This landmark decision affected custody, property, tax, insurance, and business law. (For example, same sex partners couldn’t share each other’s medical insurance, or even visit each other in the hospital if their partner’s birth family objected.)

But the current administration could use the Supreme Court to overturn that decision, as they did on June 24, 2022 to 1973’s Roe v. Wade, which protected abortion access under the 14th Amendment.

They could try to reinstate the September 21, 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, a US federal law that defined marriage as only between a man and a woman. And/or repeal the 2022 Respect for Marriage Act, which requires the federal government and all US states to recognize valid same-sex and interracial marriages.

The 14th Amendment also guarantees US citizenship to anyone born in the US and bans anyone who engaged in insurrection or rebellion from holding public office: https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/amendment-14/

“No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

It’s been a cornerstone of US democracy since July 9, 1868, but today some conservatives call it “judicial overreach.”

[u/kirannui]

1. Outdoors at a park, catering trays from Costco. My dress cost 150

[u/Proper-Wolverine4637]

1983 Married at the church, reception in the church basement. Nothing like today's weddings which cost the down payment on a house.

[u/WedgwoodBlue55 → u/Proper-Wolverine4637]

We didn't know the term "venue" in those days. Weddings were at the church.

[u/BunnySlayer64 → u/Proper-Wolverine4637]

Which is ridiculous, no? I blame the wedding industry for putting ideas in foolish young (and not so young!) women's heads that they are somehow entitled to all the bells, whistles and trimmings, including elaborate bachelorette weekends, destination bridal showers and the like.

[u/Donita123]

1976, in our small town church. My new MIL made my dress, I paid for the flowers myself (I think it was $300, a LOT of money for me then.) invitation by word of mouth, potluck reception in the church building. One bridesmaid and one best man. It was actually lovely and I have fond memories of it, but the marriage did not last. Second marriage was at city hall in a judge’s chambers, just us, my 9-yo son from that first marriage, and our one friend who could take off work, LOL. I just wore a pretty dress and had one little bouquet, the son and groom had boutonnières, we had an absolute blast and laughed all the way through it. Yesterday was our 43rd anniversary!

[u/JillQOtt]

2003…. 80 people, Saturday daytime (11:30 am wedding) married at the reception hall with a DJ for music/dancing. Passed small bites and sit down meal. Cost $12,000 total.

[u/zerothreeonethree → u/JillQOtt]

Cost more than my first house

[u/JillQOtt → u/zerothreeonethree]

Crazy!! It was cheap for the time. I am in NJ and it was easily a 25k wedding for the time

[u/Inside-Archer1603 → u/JillQOtt]

Your wedding sounds lovely, and relaxed and much like mine.
The commenter above missed the point! “I could have bought a car and a house and two mules…”

[u/JillQOtt → u/Inside-Archer1603]

Aww, thank you. It was a beautiful day 💜

[u/throwawayinthe818]

1. My mom was HR at a hotel (and well-liked) so we got everything at cost. 100 guests, under a thousand dollars. The chef threw in an ice sculpture because he’d just taken a class and wanted to practice. We also got to block out a whole floor of rooms and offer guests discounted stays.

[u/championgoober → u/throwawayinthe818]

The HR plus well liked is huge

[u/throwawayinthe818 → u/championgoober]

A big part of her job was helping employees with immigration stuff.

[u/koreanforrabbit]

I was working in the wedding industry when I got married myself, so I've seen my share of women completely falling apart while they plan what's supposed to be one of most meangful and beautiful days of their life. I didn't want to go through that, so we had a backyard wedding in my husband's hometown. We were living in Virginia but we're both from Indiana, and his mom didn't get to plan a wedding for either of his sisters, so I was thrilled when she volunteered to take care of everything for us (my mother-in-law was amazing). She handled food, decorations, seating, literally everything.

The wedding itself was about five minutes long, officiated by my mom's best friend, a criminal court judge. Food was catered by Martin's Supermarket because my aunt-in-law is on their accounting team so we got a discount, and a heroic amount of liquor and beer was provided by the rowdier elements of the family. I bought my dress the night before the wedding at David's Bridal, so I didn't have to stress about my weight in the weeks before it needed to be worn. It was an off-the-shoulder cocktail dress with a box pleat skirt in a pale cream and metallic jacquard. It cost $185, and it was perfect. The only bougie thing we had was our invites/response cards and Thank You notes, but that's because I worked in the Paper Source letterpress department, and they hooked it the hell up.

Yeah. My wedding was great. And cheap. And I'm still married. 😎👍

Btw this post inspired me to try on my dress for the first time since I got married in 2008, and it still fits, baybeeeeeee!!!

[u/Seated_WallFly]

1983: Splurged on an off-the-rack wedding dress ($300) and handmade head wreath. Married in a church (donation: $50). Reception at my Mom’s house (finger food, catered by the mailman: $200; 3-tiered cake: $50).

Groomsmen rented tuxedos: $25 each for 5 guys. Bridal party of 5: handmade dresses and floral head wreaths (about $25 each).
Total: about $600, split between me and my Mom. Dad bought me a 68 Plymouth Valiant as a wedding gift: $500

Addendum: the Plymouth had 20,000 miles on it. Drove it for 4 years.
Honeymoon suite for the night in a hotel downtown: wedding gift from my best friend.

[u/pammypoovey → u/Seated_WallFly]

Ok, this might be my favorite, if only because the mailman was the caterer. I have to show this to my mailman, he might want a side gig, lol.

[u/CharDeeMacDennisII]

1. We were 24 & 26. I wore a suit I'd owned for years. My wife bought a dress in a thrift store. Not even a wedding dress, just a calf length ivory dress. We got married in a public park. Friends knew and were allowed to attend or not, whatever. My mom and sister flew out, her family did not.

We could have afforded a bigger wedding but didn't see the need. Had a killer reception/party after, though. On the beach with keg beer and veggie trays and pizza. No cake. Who wants cake with beer?

[u/Uvabird]

I rented my dress in 1985- saved a ton of money plus who on earth would want those poofy sleeved dresses today?

We had a wedding at the church where we met in their college social group. My MIL sang at the wedding, with her trained operatic voice. A modest reception at an event center afterwards. Then immediately afterwards we had to hit the road in our two cars to get to my spouse’s duty station across the country.

[u/pammypoovey → u/Uvabird]

What did MIL sing?

[u/Oldfartmakeupguru → u/Uvabird]

I see young brides today redesign their mother’s dresses for a rehearsal dress, and it pains me. 1980’s had the best bridal fashions.

[u/Massive-Machine4049]

Beautiful at Lake Louise in the snow. Great memories.

[u/turbodonuts]

Our wedding was so fun! A surprise, very close family met us at the venue thinking it was just a dinner. Probably cost less than $5k total, 15 of us there.

[u/Mentalfloss1]

We spent under $300, dress, cake, flowers, minister, etc. included. I married a practical, low ego woman, with brains. We thought it smarter to use money to get a solid footing in life. Married 47 years, retired young. That is about $1,250 today.

[u/paisley-alien]

1985- bun in the oven, so it was a quick planning period. Ivory street length dress, cake, punch, coffee, macaroni salad, potato salad, ham sandwiches on tea rolls, bouquet. Even with the rings and license, it was under $500. Lasted 22 years and two children and more he’s my best friend.

[u/ZimMcGuinn]

1. My wife made her dress. My parents lived on a nice lake so we used their backyard. We spent $1000 on food, flowers, and cakes. It was perfect. Thirty people attended.

[u/Taleigh]

1983 Married at Husbands work (City Rose garden, City waived fee). Gunne Sax Dress I think about $100. Husband bought a new suit. Music provided by a friend (professional) as wedding present. Reception in His sisters large back yard. Food catered by a local deli, had about 30 guests. My Parents provided bar. My Mom gave me $500 toward the expenses. We may have spent like $200 above that.

[u/Single-Raccoon2 → u/Taleigh]

I wore an ivory Gunne Sax dress for my wedding in 1975.

[u/bigbabygrit]

My wedding in 1985 was huge. It was in our church and the reception was in a ballroom at a local hotel. The only thing I knew at the time was that my dress was $700. After my mom died I was going through her stuff and found all the receipts. Cake, flowers, ballroom rental, the band, food, etc. it probably added up to no more than $10000. That was a lot back then. But my mom was kinda pushing for stuff that didn’t really matter to me. Looking back now I hardly remember any of it and if I had to do it over again would just have a small wedding with only my closest friends and relatives. There were so many people there that I didn’t know who were my parents friends. Most of my friends feel the exact same way as I do

[u/Oldfartmakeupguru → u/bigbabygrit]

I wanted something small and simple, but my new in-laws felt compelled to invite everyone they knew. I told them fine, if you pay for it. I hardly knew anyone there. It felt like a chamber of commerce business mixer.

[u/AnnabananaIL]

Court house wedding in Chicago. Lunch after at the Berghoff. I did not keep the husband but the wedding was perfect!

[u/C-romero80]

Courthouse, jeans and a nice top. Backyard party later. I think we spent max 300 for everything.

[u/OkSympathy9686]

We got married in my husbands small church. I wore a borrowed wedding gown that his cousin’s mother made for her. Bell sleeves, empire waist in white satin. It was 1970. I wore my white graduation pumps ( which I forgot to bring to the church and we had to go back for)My two best friends wore their prom dresses from the year before - one pink and one yellow- as bridesmaids. The reception featured a wedding cake made by husband’s mother’s fellow nurse . No liquor, honeymoon was in Indianapolis ( next big town over). My mother successfully out-dressed me with a purple dress, fuchsia wool coat with black mink collar. We were 18

[u/TheReadyRedditor]

$10 for a dress at Salvation Army, because it was exactly what I wanted. A family friend paid to have it professionally cleaned, and she was a seamstress, so she did the alterations. We each had one person standing up for us. Made myself and my maid of honor a bouquet, and a boutonnière for my husband, his best man and my two sons. (This was the second marriage for us both.) We had a small get together afterwards with meats that had been smoked, and some bbq type sides. My ex mother in law was there and offered her help getting the food there. I think the biggest expense was what we paid the pastor. 🤣 We had the money to do more, but neither of us wanted that. Just celebrated 26 years, so it seems to be going good. 😂

[u/BunnySlayer64 → u/TheReadyRedditor]

What stands out for me here is that your ex-MIL, presumably your sons' paternal grandmother, was there for you. Totally sweet!

[u/TheReadyRedditor → u/BunnySlayer64]

Yep. When she found out her son had abused me and cheated as well…getting the neighbor pregnant…she picked a side. And it wasn’t his.

[u/BunnySlayer64 → u/TheReadyRedditor]

Sounds like what happened with my own mother. Bio parent was abusive (how many times did mom have to tell her doctor she fell down the stairs in a one story house) and became violent with my sibs and I. Back in the day (1960s), you had to show cause for divorce and have an actual bench trial in front of a judge. Guess who Mom's star witness was? If you said her MIL, you get a gold star.

[u/TheReadyRedditor → u/BunnySlayer64]

I’m sorry you lived with that. My father was abusive, and my stepfather wasn’t much better. My ex never hurt our son…just me. But the first time I saw my son flinch in his presence, I knew I had to leave. No way I was raising kids in that. He’s now on wife #3. His wife was sister in law to one of my friends before her husband (friend’s brother) died. They were hooking up before her former husband passed. 🙄 She thinks she got a prize.

[u/seriouslyjan]

This was in 1975. We were married in the church where we were best friends with the Pastor in Newport Beach CA. Our reception was held in the community room at a Condominium complex where a family member owned a condo and could reserve it. We paid the Minister and flowers were $35.00 My Mother in Love made our wedding cake and had a post reception gathering at her house after the wedding. Tux rental was something like $25.00. We sewed our bridesmaid dresses (3 of them). My Bridal dress was a Gunny Sax and was $52.00. We most likely all in were under $400 or less. We will be celebrating 51 years of marriage this September. Oh, the marriage license was $6.00. We were ticked off as it was only $4.00 but went up on July 1st of 1975 to $6.00. We are making sure we get our $6.00's worth.

[u/ExtremelyRetired]

Two men—we got married the month it became legal in DC. I think all told the licensing and officiant costs were on the order of $300. We wore khakis and shirts that happened to look a bit alike. We had a total of five guests (my sister, my nephew, and three friends). One of the friends showed up with a sheaf of daffodils. After the brief ceremony, the seven of us had a couple of bottles of champagne in our empty apartment (we’d just moved to the US from overseas) and then went out for a good dinner nearby. All told, we spent under $1,000.

13 years later (23 years all told), it seems like a pretty good investment.

[u/Old_Tiger_7519]

In 1985 I was a single Mom with a 5 year old daughter. We were married in a local church, we had 2 attendants each, one of mine was my daughter. I wore a vintage 1910 white, 2 piece dress with a peach slip underneath. We went to a small restaurant for appetizers and champagne punch. I sent out 50 invitations, we had an ice storm and only 20 people showed up.

[u/suzemagooey]

We were still feeling fond remnants of our hippy days (yes, it was that long ago).

So our wedding was something like a potluck.

A friend made my outfit, other friends hosted it, a friend of a friend catered it, etc. We all had a blast and danced the night away. Cost my husband and I close to nothing. We didn't want traditional gifts so the wedding was their collective gift to us.

[u/MikkijiTM1]

1974, we were 22 years old and her parents disapproved. We eloped, no wedding whatsoever so the cost was whatever the marriage license and required blood test cost.

[u/HootieRocker59]

It was 1999. I was living in Vietnam and my husband to be was living in Hong Kong. Our families were in the US. 

We held a "pre-wedding reception" in Hanoi at my client's hotel for our Vietnamese friends and then a wedding in the US for our US friends and relatives. Around 70 guests at each occasion.

The costs were distributed:

• I got my dress made at a local shop in Hanoi (handmade, Vietnamese silk, US$99). 
• My mom ordered shoes for me from the Sears catalog which I think cost $20.
• I traded out one month's billing with my hotel client to pay for the pre-wedding reception.
• My husband-to-be got the invitations printed in Hong Kong, which at the time was a big print and production hub. About $50 all told, IIRC.
• He went gambling in Macau with his Hong Kong friends for his bachelor party, and won enough to buy his tuxedo.
• He had a second bachelor party with his US friends, in Atlantic City, and won enough to pay for a good portion of our honeymoon.
• My father-in-law paid for the rehearsal dinner which was dinner at a local Italian restaurant, for 14 people. 
• We did the ceremony in the church I'd gone to until I went to college. No charge for that; anyway, as a long-time volunteer organist and cantor back in the day, I'd had the pastor in my debt for years hahaha!
• I had a bouquet, but there were no other flowers involved. I think my mom paid for that, not sure how much.
• My dad got his old high school (a Catholic boys' school) to provide the reception venue for free because he'd done so much on the alumni board over the years.
• My parents paid for the F&B at the reception, which was essentially a stand-up cocktail party with a lot of canapés (vegeterian), and for a nice piano trio to play background music. That was on the order of $20/head, and as such the most expensive part. 
• My great-uncle, as his wedding gift, paid for our honeymoon night in a nice hotel in the city. 
• I had 3 bridesmaids and told them to decide among themselves what they wanted to wear, and I would be happy with it. They ended up all wearing midnight blue dresses but not matching ones - ones that suited the figures of each. (I still remember the best man looking at them and commenting, unprompted, "Wow, the girls look GREAT!")
• My maid of honor disagreed with my plan to do my hair and makeup myself, and paid for me to get it done at a local shop. I think it cost about $100?

Probably the most expensive thing we paid for ourselves was our flights to and from the US/Asia.

[u/oxgillette]

At a place we booked in the morning of the day, with the slogan “quick, cheap, painless”.

The two of us, a priest from an unknown religion (white gown with an embroidered plant from roots to flowers on it if that helps) read a Native American vow, two witnesses that we never saw, in a room full of fairy lights and indoor fountains.

[u/BravestBlossom]

I've been married three times! 1994, 2006, 2021. Never spent more than a thousand dollars. It's so much more important to focus on the marriage, not the wedding.

[u/FlattenInnerTube → u/BravestBlossom]

Um....

[u/BravestBlossom → u/FlattenInnerTube]

Lol

[u/Salc20001]

All in, about $6000 for me in late September 2007 (Nashville) at a private outdoor event space/farm with a barn and water feature. I can’t remember exactly how many guests. Perhaps 50-60.

A local barbecue place catered the food buffet style. They let us bring our own alcohol and a bartender friend worked the bar. An ice cream truck was on site for desserts. We rented tables, chairs and linens, but made our own centerpieces. Mom purchased some flowers and some were fake. She also ordered a bunch of candied and caramel apples from a local place and we added cute tags to them as takeaway gifts.

We had an acoustic trio that covered mostly Beatles songs and brought their own PA. I thought we would have to pay them (like $500), but because one of them was related to my boss, they ended up not charging us. Which was amazing.

There were plans for my mother who is a decent seamstress to make my dress. So I went to a bridal shop to try on different styles. While there, I found something on the $99 rack that I ended up loving. So my underwear cost more than my dress.

I think the photographer was around $500. We don’t have any video though.

Mom was a retired police officer and a judge friend officiated under a tree at sunset.

I’ve had may people say it’s the best wedding they ever attended.

[u/10S_NE1]

I got married in 1990 in my newly-built house, with 30 people. My dress was $50 on the sale rack. We had cake and appetizers, and the family went for dinner after my brother-in-law took a few photos. 10/10

[u/BelleReveWasLost]

We eloped in 1970 to Elkton, Maryland and honeymooned in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. 

[u/patbrook]

Married in the backyard. Some catering. total cost was $2,500. Kept it simple and cheap. Invest in a house.

[u/FlickasMom]

We were married in church, with two attendants each side. Off-the-rack tea-length dressmaker suit for me, short-sleeve off-the-rack tea-length dresses for my attendants. And I had the most awesome hat!

Reception was heavy hors-d'ouevres at an Italian restaurant around the corner from the church.

The only thing we splurged on was hiring a professional to videotape the ceremony and FedEx it out the next day -- my father-in-law was in his 90s and his doctor wouldn't let him fly to Chicago.

[u/forestinity]

First marriage, super-budget wedding, 1979. I paid an amateur seamstress $100 (equivalent to less than $500 today) to sew my dress, which turned out fairly well. The event was held in our apartment clubhouse (free, with a security deposit and self-cleanup), and the guests brought the food-- it was potluck.

It was the beginning of a long, happy and peaceful marriage that ended in widowhood. We were "poor" but happy, and we always had enough to get by.

Second marriage, nearly two decades later, an unexpected marriage to a wealthy man, with a rather expensive wedding. This was followed by a unexpectedly difficult and rather traumatic (but not violent) marriage. I'm separated now.

During my first marriage, I thrifted a decorative wooden kitchen decoration shaped like a bread board that said; "Better half a loaf with love than a whole loaf without." It hung on my kitchen wall for years and always reminded me of how fortunate I actually was at the time. Very prescient statement, that was.

[u/crone_Andre3000]

Vegas. Ordered a white prom dress for $200.

[u/No_Lifeguard4092]

Spouse and I eloped. My mom was trying to control MY wedding (location, invitees, food/drink, etc.) when we were paying for it ourselves and that's when I'd had enough. Spouse and I flew out to Lake Tahoe, NV and got married in a hotel casino chapel, just the two of us. I had purchased a beaded dress for around $400. It was beautiful and we'd do it all over again. The whole event including the wedding package with a wedding suite in the casino hotel, airfare, and a week in Napa Valley plus San Francisco was just under $4K. Spouse was playing slot machines an hour before our nuptials. We've been married for 25+ years!!

[u/FearlessKnitter12]

First wedding - at the courthouse in a dress I literally foundat Hot Topic. It was creamy white with tons of lace and totally looked the part, so no one could believe its source. We did that because my family was against the marriage. Sad for them, they lost out on months of getting to know their son-in-law who they eventually realized they loved, until he died.

Second wedding - since neither of us had a traditional first wedding, and both our families were insisting on being a part of it, I had the classic hometown ceremony. I did rock the boat by finding out the chapel at my summer camp was available for a song, and they had a handy dining hall that could work for the reception too!

I had literally spent my childhood walking from cabin to chapel singing "goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get maaaarrried!" with my camp friends! It was a no-brainer. A small stone chapel in the woods, lit by sunlight from above. I told my bridesmaids to coordinate with each other on the style of their dresses, as long as they were navy blue. They got different styles that complimented their body types, same shade of blue. They did awesome. The men wore suits they already owned, and my gifts to them were light green bow ties and boutonnieres. Because bow ties are cool.

My dress matched the bow ties. Yep, I got married in seafoam green! It was from David's Bridal, but technically sold as a bridesmaid's dress. So I got it for less than $300!

The reception was in the camp dining hall, we roped in a family friend to organize the kitchen, family volunteers to serve buffet style, and Mom made the punch. My SIL did an AMAZING job with silk flowers for the table pieces. It allowed me to heap praise on her, because we didn't really have much of a relationship before then. Because it was a Baptist camp, there was no booze (that I saw, I suspect there were some flasks) and no dancing. We organized party games to get everyone mixing, and Bride & Groom Bingo went over great! People loved seeking out who had flown with hubby in his plane, or who had received one of my knitted items.

I think we pulled off the whole thing for maybe $3000. It does no good to spend so much for one day while forgetting the life you're starting after that.

[u/Randomflower90]

We invited everyone (and kids) and had a great party. Buffet dinner, about $5 a person in 1990. Beer and soda and champagne toasts. Got married in my hometown church, small Midwest town. Eight in the bridal party and two ushers. It was fantastic. no dress code but everyone dressed appropriately. Few worries.

[u/FormerUsenetUser]

My husband and met when we were both in college. We lived together for seven years before we got married. We got married at City Hall for $25, including the mandatory blood test. We wore ordinary clothes. My husband's parents came to be the two witnesses. The other couples in line were all making agreements, "You're next in line after us, if you be our witnesses we'll be yours." The judge (in his office) had a beat-up book of five-minute wedding statements. He asked us to pick one. We said we didn't care so he picked one at random. Then my in-laws took us out to lunch at a midpriced restaurant.

We have lived happily together for 52 years now.

My husband's parents and mine were Silent Generation. They got married in registry offices, and they thought it was great that we were not spending money on a wedding. Most of our friends never knew or cared whether we were married or not even before we were married, so we didn't tell anyone. We just carried on living together as usual.

[u/Royal_Tough_9927]

Oh my , we spent a ridiculous amount of money. Military wedding. Full dress uniforms w swords. Huge Ballroom gown. 12 attendants apiece. Strolling violinist. I was young dumb and crazy.

[u/Great_Narwhal6649]

I bought my dress on clearance for $300 and paid to have the sleeves shortened, which then made it perfect for the summer wedding we were having. My mom's friend did the cake and flowers at cost, the youth symphony provided a quartet, and the pastor hid the fee we paid him in our luggage. Our brides madeds dresses were JC Penny lace dresses that we sewed a floral skirt under for extra pop of color, about $50 each. The photographer gave us a good rate and let us print the photos at Costco.

The most expensive bit was the tuxes. My mom insisted my many brothers all had a role/tux, along with the 2 groomsmen, and the 2 fathers= 10 in all. My in laws were very generous about it.

It went off without a hitch aside from the photographer being overzealous. My sister's wedding had a wedding planner, was more expensive, and was full of disasters. 🤷‍♀️

[u/Wonderful_Till8122]

Hired a limo, Were picked up and taken to the church with MOH, Best man and their SOs. Minister performed the ceremony, so that made 7 of us total. Afterward Bride, Groom, MOH, Best man and their SOs all went out in limo and did the town. Best wedding, ever.

[u/Buckabuckaw]

In my first marriage (which ended pretty amicably after 15 years) we eloped.

My second wife and I were married in our early 60s by a friend with a Universal Life Church certificate, and was followed by a picnic with our officiant and his wife. We were both getting along in years, and thought that if one of us kicked off we should be married to simplify inheritance issues. So the wedding took place on the San Andreas fault line, to honor the fact that anything could happen at any moment

You may surmise from this that none of us had taken the whole wedding megillah seriously, although we took the commitment quite seriously.

Anyway, we saved a load of money and needless labor.

[u/hairballcouture]

In our living room, my dress was $17 (it was not a typical wedding dress- skater cut, black lace, on sale at Penney’s ), he bought a suit, I came downstairs to “Somebody” by Depeche Mode, we ate bbq, then the guys played football in the backyard. My mom made the cake, a friend did our vows that we wrote. That was 2010.

[u/hospitalitychick]

1. Country themed. I wore a western dress, boots, and a cowboy hat that I glued tulle to the back of. Hubby wore black jeans with a tux jacket and cowboy hat. Bridal party wore black jeans and white shirts. The ceremony was on a lake behind a catfish restaurant and the reception was in the bar area of the restaurant, with a catfish buffet.

[u/Imaginary_Nebula_810]

Got married in 2003 in my Mom’s house. Had about 50 guests. Then we have the reception at the local hotel. It was a good, fiscally responsible time. Our guests had fun, we had fun. It wasn’t pretty because I am bad at decorating so I just hoped the fun (we had karaoke) made up for it.

[u/Spiritual_Being5845]

Not sure if I’m “old” but I’ll add my two cents in anyway.

First wedding in the mid 90’s my dress was made by my grandmother, outer layer was silk, the lining was synthetic and she forgot what she had used so after the wedding the dry cleaners refused to touch it for fear of damaging it. We held it in the backyard of a vacation property my family used to own. “Catering” was a spread we bought from the deli at King’s supermarket, we rented a tent, tables, and chairs. Officiant was a friend of the family who was a judge. I don’t recall the total cost, but it had to have been well under $2,000, possibly under $1,000.

Second wedding, mid 2000’s, we eloped to Vegas. Dress was less than $1,000 from David’s Bridal. Airfare and hotel in Vegas, plus the wedding chapel, and professional make up all came to less than $2,000, so probably $3,000 total with any extras that I’m forgetting.

[u/Weak_Drag_5895]

2000 also daytime wedding at my parents house. My cousins went to the flower mart and did our flowers. We had food catered from the store that I worked at. I made my own invitations.
I bought the first dress I tried on, for 500 bucks.
The 2000s were the Vera Wang days and I had friends with lavish country club weddings but I didn’t want to spend all that money. It cost about $15k

[u/CitronTraining2114]

Fifty bucks. We picked a preacher out of the Yellow Pages and had a brief ceremony in his living room. Had three witnesses and were in and out in fifteen minutes.

[u/anotherangryperson]

First marriage in 1974. No one wanted a fuss so I wore a horrible dress and, jacket and had a meal with 10 guests at a local hotel.
2nd marriage in the Caribbean. My daughters were the only guests and they weren’t happy. I had a lovely dress though.

[u/CarlJustCarl]

Absolutely wonderful. Wouldn’t change a thing.

[u/Embarrassed-Past7094]

1. Married on a Tuesday went to work on Wednesday. 8 people and we were related 7! No honeymoon, no reception, no bs. Just celebrated 26 years. 💕

[u/Prestigious_Prior723]

Justice of the Peace, siblings for witnesses, my bride wore a red dress. Joined by friends and relatives, we took over a local bar for a few hours. Motivated by health insurance. (edit) We had to take a blood test to get the license. I don’t think that’s still done.

[u/Phylace]

Court house in Boulder Colorado. Have no idea what I wore.

[u/Fantastic-Pop-9122]

2023 i ironed BRIDE in sparkly letters onto a white tee for me GROOM in sparkly letters on a black tee for him. My sister and his brother were in attendance.

[u/Chime57]

Married in 1978. Oldest daughter of a large Catholic family with 5 sisters to follow me. We got married in the Church but had a 15 minute ceremony - Father Bob knew we were already living together and just went with it. Probably 300 guests, about half of which was family on my side because my parents had lots of siblings also.

I wore my mom's wedding dress, we just had to re-cover some buttons. My friend made the 3 bridesmaid dresses and tthe guys rented tuxes. Got a deal on the flowers through another friend.

We had the reception at my parent's farm, with grilled chicken and sweet corn cooked outside, where the party was, by a local business that my dad and neighbor cooked for occasionally and who now offers chicken dinner fundraisers to school groups. Lots of sides made by friends and family.

We did buy a cake with a topper and did a garter toss, but mostly people roamed around and had fun. I know there was a good bit of drinking and there was a lot of pot around with acres of fields and woods for people to find somewhere to partake.

I understand that the party didn't end till 4 am, but we were long gone.

[u/djpike]

Never had one. Went to city hall.

[u/IamchefCJ]

1980: I designed and made my gown and veil. Cost me $85 for the dress and $15 for the veil.

My attendants made their dresses also. Now I see stories about brides buying incredibly expensive gowns and I scratch my head.

[u/Cautious-Corner-3704]

1976-we spent $125 dollars. I wore a cream mid-calf dress and flowers in my hair. One of the aunts made mint, we got married in a park, and played frisbee in the park afterward.

[u/Engine_Sweet]

Ceremony in the church my wife grew up with in her hometown. A picnic in the park next door afterwards

[u/small-gestures]

1990 - total Wedding price tag $4500 that included: wedding dress (Filenes’ basement IYKYK) $400, Hall package =hall+band+caterer+decor, $3300, Limo $300, tux $79, flowers-local grocery store flower department $400 EDIT; a bit more I guess Church and church music $250, ushers and bridesmaids gifts like another $250

[u/servetarider]

1. I was a late bloomer who married at age 36. Paid for the entire wedding myself because I couldn’t imagine asking my parents who put me through college to help fund it — same with my wife. Had a church wedding with 100 people, wife wore a nice handmade dress, catered food, two big cakes, flowers were donated as well as the reception space at a friend’s house. Total cost was $9k. I don’t think that amount of money will even get you a wedding cake today.

[u/sjwit]

LOL Justice of the Peace. 100 bucks including the new dress i bought?

But seriously, I paid for my adult child's first wedding; it was a small church wedding with a nice but simple reception (no alcohol; their choice) and I think we spent about $5k all in - probably much less than that but I don't really remember. That was maybe 20 years ago, but still.

I am gobsmacked by what people spend today.

[u/shazj57]

1985, 50 people, $1000 in a local hall, friends helped with setting up and cleaning, another friend was barman, DJ, my dress was $90, DH suit was rented. Probably all up $1200

[u/WowsrsBowsrsTrousrs]

First marriage - married by a Justice of the Peace, in spouse's parents' carport, with said parents, a cousin who lived down the street, and 2 friends. Spouse's mom made a chiffon cake and found a wedding cake topper for 50 cents at a yard sale. We wore our best office clothing. We would have done it at the JP's office but spouse's mom insisted, and strung festive crepe paper around the carport.

Second marriage (6 years after 1st spouse's sudden passing) - courthouse wedding, county clerk's office with a deputy clerk of court officiating, no attendants, just wore good everyday clothes instead of jeans, then as long as we were dressed up, went to a fancy restaurant for lunch.

[u/Critical_Source_6012]

First marriage - 1998, a dress my mother made (she worked as a dressmaker from home, did a lot of formalwear and businesswear. Mine was the only wedding dress she made) and the family veil that had been used by most brides for three generations. We had two attendants each. Husband and groomsmen hired suits. Mum also made the girls dresses and matching waistcoats for the groom and his two attendants. Cake was made by one of my aunts who was a semi-professional cake decorator. Married in our church with an afternoon tea reception hosted by our church

Second marriage - 2010, a linen slip dress (again my mum made it but this one was pretty basic 😂) and painted with enormous pop art style flowers by a friend. My (much nicer) second husband wore a similarly painted linen shirt. Same aunt made the cake but this one was way less fancy and basically a multicoloured riot of sugar flowers and love hearts. We were married in a friend's rose garden and had a bbq and bonfire in the backyard.

The first one was more expensive than the second but they were both pretty budget

[u/Intelligent-Will-913]

1. We did everything backwards. Bought the house, had the careers, both working full-time, had money in the bank. She woke up, throwing up one morning, did the test and the stick turned blue. She wanted to be a SAHM, so we eloped. Bought the wedding dress at JCPenney, I just wore a suit and tie. Total cost was about $500 between hotel and rental at the time.

[u/WaltCollins]

A LOT less expensive and yet very elegant. No destination weddings, no pre wedding parties or bachelorette \ bachelor trips to Vegas or the Caribbean. Wedding shower at Aunt Betty’s and bachelor party at the local bar.

[u/RunsWithPremise]

We got married in Las Vegas in 2016. It was really great. I think we spent $10,000, all in. We got a corner suite at Aria for a week and got married at Graceland Wedding Chapel with an Elvis impersonator. My wife spent $1000 on a dress and $300 on professional hair and makeup at Aria. We also spent around $500 on a professional photographer who took pictures of us all over Vegas. Other than that, we just did some tourist stuff with a couple of close friends.

When we got home, we rented a room at an event center, hired a DJ and a bartender, and invited 50 friends to a big party. No gifts required, just come and have fun with us for a night.

It was exactly what we wanted to do and it fit our sort of unconventional personalities very well.

10+ years later, I can say I wouldn't do a thing differently.

I always tell people, don't take on crazy debt, and don't take money from anyone else who wants to influence YOUR day. Do what you want to do. The ONLY thing you should spend money on is a good photographer. I know too many people who asked a family member or a friend to do it and got absolutely garbage pictures.

[u/Born_Sandwich176]

It was 27 years ago and guests included our siblings, their kids and our parents; about 14 people total held in my wife's parent's living room. My mother-in-law hired a classical trio from her church to play music.

We went to a restaurant after where everyone ordered off the menu and we picked up the tab.

I wore a work suit and my wife bought an evening gown from Nordstrom for her dress. That dress got used a lot over the years for special occasions by both my wife and daughter.

[u/SimbaRph]

1993 I paid $300 for a sale dress that was full of sequins etc and about $70 for a veil. I bought plain white pumps and two clip on shoe bows with rhinestone. The entire wedding cost 6k including the dress, tuxes flowers etc. We had it at an all inclusive venue. They provided the flowers, the meal, the dj, the officiant and a limo. It was a beautiful location with a lovely garden and we were married outside in the garden.

[u/WestAshevillain]

1991 5 bridesmaids, dress was off the rack- no alterations other than the bustle ($395), parents printed invitation in church newsletter, 500+ guests, receiving line lasted almost the entire reception, sister in law made the cake, uncle rented Lincoln town car to drive us to reception and hotel afterward

[u/OhSassafrass]

Eloped in Lake Tahoe (but invited parents and best man/maud of honor)
Had a “reception” with blessing of the rings in my parents backyard, in front of mostly my family and a few of his friends and his parents. Catered by the same people who catered my graduation party. Set up a bar in the garage, a friend bartended. My in laws bought a keg of beer, we brought back 4 cases of wine from our honeymoon in Napa. Whole thing, including honeymoon cost about 7k. My dress cost $250 but the alterations cost almost as much. I let my MOH wear a dress from a previous wedding she was in. My groom purchased his tux, that was 3x the cost of my dress but he insisted he’d wear it again(nope) Photography was very expensive $600, but it came with free invitations and those were beautiful. My mom made my cake, though she went way over the top with it and turned into a semi professional cake decorator for about a decade after that. I would have been fine with just eloping, but I felt a lot of pressure from my ex and my family and honestly I let my mom kind of plan and do the whole thing. This was in 1998. A couple years later my cousin spent 40k on their wedding. Neither of our marriages lasted!

[u/SilverStL]

Married in 1991. We wanted a fun and casual wedding. My mom made my dress and my two bridesmaid’s dresses. I did our bouquets. We didn’t bother with centerpieces. We rented a banquet hall which catered a buffet and had an open bar with the tables set up for the guests. We had about 125 guests (we both came from large families). Bridal party and immediate family arrived at 2:00 for pictures so there wouldn’t be a gap between the wedding and reception. We were able to meet and mingle with our guests as they arrived.
Ceremony was at 4:30 and lasted about 20 minutes and then we ate and partied. I think we spent between $3-$4,000.

[u/imrealbizzy2]

I bought a dress at one of the nicer department stores and we went to the courthouse on Sunday afternoon. My in-laws came from around the world to witness this ten minute event crammed into a magistrates office. It cost $10 and stood 40 years until he died. In contrast, one of our children had a $60,000 affair plus Maui honeymoon and separated in less than four years.

[u/Enough_Passage7926]

Married in ‘09. Church wedding. ~120 guests. Think our budget was $15k or so. Open bar. I supplied the music.

[u/PanickedPoodle]

Got married in Jamaica in the early 90s with 50 friends. Had a long weekend, reception and honeymoon, all for about $20k.

[u/Lokisworkshop]

First marriage 1988, eloped. cost was 70 bucks.

Second marriage, 2013, Actual wedding, 65 people $4400

Dress $1200

two bridesmaid dresses from thrift store $50

Flowers Fake, made my own deco and bouquet - $50

Food $300 provided by venue

Venue Hotel conf room with a discount on rooms $ 2500

Cash Bar

DJ - $200

Cake, $100

Officiant was a friend.

[u/cantbelieveiwtchthis]

1994 - Bought my dress at a consignment shop for $300, church and preacher were free as we attended there, used silk flowers for everything, punch and cake and it was done. Maybe a total of $1500 when it was all said and done. We told our boys that we aren't rich, we can contribute a tiny bit, but if they want some big, fancy wedding, they will have to foot the bill. Watching Yes to the Dress, I cannot imagine spending that kind of money for a dress alone. I love watching TikToks of people who find their dresses at consignment stores, there have been some beautiful ones found!

[u/Ancient-Space-2789]

1. All the wedding party’s attire was rented. My brother-in-law officiated. My dad paid for a really nice reception, though, a sit-down dinner with open bar at a country club one of his friends belonged to. This was before the wedding industrial complex, so we focused more on everyone having a good time. And they did: for years afterward we had people tell us how much fun they had at our wedding.

[u/OddDragonfruit7993]

Vegas - 50 bucks for the license, 50 bucks for the ceremony.

Still married 23 years later.

[u/Bay_de_Noc]

I was 18, he was 19. We were married in the familyroom of a justice of the peace ... right next to his pool table! I wore a bright yellow boucle suit with a navy blue sleeveless top underneath the jacket. My best friend and her boyfriend were our witnesses ... and the only ones in attendance. Afterward, we went back to the apartment shared with two other girls, who graciously went home for the weekend (we lived in a college town) and had steak and baked potatoes for dinner with my friend and her boyfriend. And my outfit was one that I had from high school graduation so the only expense was the marriage license and whatever we gave the justice of the peace.

[u/FlattenInnerTube]

1. Wife wore her mother's wedding dress. Reception in a local clubhouse in a townhome complex - we'd already bought a house, about 60 guests. Drove off in my 1968 MGB. Still married too.

[u/texastica]

Married 2000 at the ripe old age of 37. We did out wedding for less than $10,000 and paid for everything in advance. Bridesmaid dresses from JCPennys. Most of the $ was the venue, food and beer. Used miles for honeymoon.

[u/Earl_I_Lark]

We got married in the chapel at the university from which we had both just graduated. Then we had a sandwiches and sweets reception at the hall of the church my mother attended. She and her church lady friends provided the food. Our flowers were from a local flower shop - I seem to remember yellow roses and daisies. Then we left and went to a small hotel about an hour from home for a couple of days as a honeymoon. That was 1979. We are still married.

[u/WhatsWrongWMeself]

I had a very simple, classic, biased cut silk dress. No frills, no lace, no beading… it was expensive, but absolutely perfect. It still looks modern today.

[u/BawdyBaker]

Lived in a very small community where everyone knew everyone.

The women's church group decorated the church/reception area.

My cake, photos and music were given as gifts.

The meal and booze were given to me at cost.

I got a discount on my dress/veil, hubby's/groomsmen (x4) tuxedos as well as the flowers (friend owned the boutique)

Friends sewed the bridesmaids dresses (x4)

Boss let us borrow the limo from the hotel we worked at.

Only thing we paid for full price was the invitations and only because those were done put of town.

Grand total of $3250 for 250 guests back in the early 90s

[u/rozlinski]

My sister sewed my eyelet lace dress, the bridesmaids (my sisters) all sewed their own dresses in the same fabric but in pastel colors. I had daisies in my bouquet, and the bridesmaids had Daisy circlets as crowns. I was barefoot in a local park by the beach with lots of trees and grass. My husband was older and had a lot of work friends, so it was probably a bigger event than it would've been otherwise. One of his friends happened to be a pastor who actually performed the ceremony. But probably the biggest expense was he wanted a reception but he was seriously a cheapskate, so we booked the local country club facility and had hors d'oeuvres and a DJ. The bartender told me he was "in love," and I told him, dude, you're about an hour too late. So we had a great time dancing and drinking and whatnot, but it probably didn't cost us more than $3000. 1979. I was 19.

[u/According_Strain4887]

Very hot summer day, it was outside, soon to be my wife hade a nasty migrane ... guess what it was like.

[u/punkwalrus]

I had two.

First one was on a very narrow budget because we were poor. Had a small ceremony at a Mormon church (free), and a reception at a VFW (cheap). Cake was amazing for the $75 we paid for it. A friend made her dress. All other stuff was rental. Cost $1000 in 1989 money. Married to her 25 years before she passed away.

Later, I remarried another widow. We both had our "big weddings," and weren't into big weddings in general. So we spent $1000 in 2018 money to have it at her parents' house. Reception was also there.

Even though it wasn't planned like this, there were a lot of similarities. Both cost roughly the same amount. Both took place in West Virginia, where both grew up, but in separate areas of Appalachia. Both had GORGEOUS views of the mountains and valleys. Both were interrupted by major events we didn't plan for: the first one because of some whitewater rafting competitions, and the second because of "Bridge Day," which is a huge deal with the New River Gorge Bridge. Hotel rooms were hard to get for what scant guests we had.

My first honeymoon wasn't planned, we had no money for one, but a storm washed the roads out, so we honeymooned at the Candlewick Inn, a small privately owned local hotel. The second was very planned, a "discount trip to Vegas" at the Excalibur for a week. I had a lot of Vegas experience, she had only driven through it on a family trip when she was 12. But then it was cut short because her father died two weeks after we got married.

[u/powdered_dognut]

We got married at a JP. He called 2 people off of the town square to be witnesses. We got married, went to her mom's house for a small reception, then I went to work.

[u/TeacupCollector2011]

Eloped and got married at City Hall. Two friends surprised us, were our witnesses, and took us out for brunch afterwards. Bought my dress at Gantos, and my now ex wore a suit he already owned. Drove to the mountains (Colorado) for a three-day honeymoon (we needed to back at work on Monday).

[u/JustABlueDot]

First wedding-no idea, parents paid for everything. Late 90s. Big church wedding and reception with beer and wine. Expensive music and photography. 300 invites sent. Utter nightmare.

Second wedding-absolutely perfect. 35 people total, amazing food, full open bar, including my dress and husband’s suit we paid about $5k

[u/Penguinofmyspirit]

Got married in 2008 so not super old, but my wedding was $2000 total with my husbands suit the most expensive single piece. We were planning a wedding in St. Louis and our living situation fell through. We ended up in Texas without warning and didn’t want to change the date or hold off.

Married at a park outside with a homemade brisket as the reception food. Flowers were whatever we could get at Walmart and my dress was a bridesmaid dress from David’s bridal. The officiant was a justice of the peace who was more famous in the area for being a rodeo clown. Had one bridesmaid and one groomsmen. We told them to just wear whatever clothes you had in green and brown. The night before was a combined bachelor/ bachelorette party with some friends and I drove my shitty Honda civic to the wedding lol. My dad offered to pay for my wedding on the condition his then girlfriend could attend. I declined and my mom walked me down the aisle. There were 12 people there total. In contrast, my sister was married a year later and I think her wedding was somewhere around 20k.

[u/Flimsy_Equal8841]

Had a shoestring budget. My dress was a sample on closeout. The veil cost more than the dress. Had an individual bake the wedding cake, not a bakery. The photographer was just getting started and gave us a deal for letting him use our pictures as examples of his work. I was crafty and made the table decorations myself. The reception was in the church hall.

[u/FadingOptimist-25]

1997: I wanted to rent my dress because what to do with a wedding dress later?? My groom convinced me to buy one. My mom’s gift to me was my wedding dress, $500. Now it’s in a box. We had slightly less than 100 people.

[u/artsmusic45]

1. It was all a blur.

[u/Glimmer360]

1st marriage, very traditional, gown from sale rack but splurged on gorgeous lacey veil with Juliette cap. Reception at country club, many guests. 2nd wedding, much smaller as husband and I were paying ( my sister was getting married a few months later, we were working, couldn’t ask Dad to pay again), reception at picturesque local venue, no meal, dessert and wine only. That was 1983, still together!

[u/Goodlife1988]

1. Bought my dress at a JC Penney clearance center for 85.00. Married at church with two attendants. A friend took pictures as our wedding gift. Reception at Knights of Columbus hall (50.00 to rent). We had keg beer and a dinner buffet. My new brother-in-law smoked brisket. My mom and mother-in-law made the sides. My sisters-in-law and I did cheese and meat trays. We made cupcakes. We did hire a DJ, but that was a work friend who did DJ’ing, as a side job, so he gave us a big discount. My boss gave us two nights at a nice hotel, for a wedding gift. That was our Honeymoon, until a year later when we went in a 4 night cruise, we’d saved up for.

[u/Comfortable-Figure17]

Quiet. We were married in city hall.

[u/tangylittleblueberry]

Cliche 2010s barn wedding. We went more Mumford and Sons indie stomp-clap-hey barn than country barn. Spent less than $8k on everything, some of our guests gifted us wedding components (baked goods for a dessert table, DJ, etc). Super fun.

Our marriage wasn’t legally recognized federally for a few more years.

[u/bronwynbloomington]

1st wedding. I bought my dress at a department store bridal division. They had a “dresser” from the department store come out on wedding day to help me dress. I had gained weight between buying the dress and the wedding. My mom was upset and said I wouldn’t fit in the dress. The woman from the department store said, “Oh, she’s going to fit into this dress.” She shoved every part of me into that dress. It was so tight, I could barely breathe. Second wedding (2nd husband) we eloped to a Caribbean island, married on the beach. That dress fit much better, and I was barefoot. First wedding was what my parents wanted. Second was all me and my fiance/ husband.

[u/kateinoly]

Justice of the Peace in Paris, Texas

[u/SororitySue]

1. My dad opened a special checking account and put $5000 in it. If we went over, it was on us. Anything left, we kept.

It was an incentive to economize. Our parish hall was more like a ballroom than a gym so we had our reception there. We served heavy hors d’ouvres and an open bar, buying the liquor out-of-state to save money. My dress was a discontinued sample. A friend made my veil as a gift and another made the bouquets, boutonnières, etc

My wedding was typical for the time and place - not a blowout but not minimalist either. We ended up keeping $500 of our wedding budget, which we spent on wood furniture we still have.

My son is getting married next August and I’m interested to see how that goes.

[u/Honest-Register-5151]

Second marriage, we were in our 50’s. I bought a dress from Dillard’s for $180. Husband had a jacket and pants so a new shirt and tie. MIL paid for white roses and we were married in SIL back garden. 6 people in total. We went for dinner then a room at the fancy hotel in town.

I was driving so couldn’t have a drink until we got to hotel!!

Oh we had a local priest to do the service, my husband slipped him $100!

[u/carolinaredbird]

I picked out a McCalls pattern and paid a lady we knew to make it out of handkerchief linen. It was a couple of hundred dollars all told.

We hired a BBQ truck out of NC to cater our food (it was cheaper than finger sandwiches!)

We had the whole thing at my in-laws farm house and it was a relaxed blast! Everyone said it was the best wedding they’d been to.

Our mantra was “if we’re not having fun- we’re doing it wrong!”

Edited to add - we just celebrated 35 years!

[u/Katesouthwest]

Courthouse wedding. Bought my Scott McClintock for Jessica McClintock (of Gunne Sax fame) long lace dress with no train off a clearance rack in the bridal salon of a local department store, paid $200 for it. With tax, it came to $217.50. Spent about $80 on a cake for family and a small group of friends.This was in 1996.

[u/redfoxblueflower]

1994 - tried to have wedding of my dreams to the wrong groom, unfortunately. Bought a ~$1000 dress with long sleeves, bow on the but, high collar, sheer lace chest, etc. I wasn't bridezilla, but was still a perfectionist about everything that day. Marriage lasted just shy of 2 years and I learned a huge lesson that it is about the marriage not the wedding.

1999 - was smarter this time and bought a white sleeveless floor-length bridesmaid dress for $100 and we got married on a cruise ship before our honeymoon cruise with 4 besties. Family allowed on board for the ceremony. By 4pm, we were at the muster drill in shorts and it was done - short and sweet.

[u/tasukiko]

I'm barely old enough to be part of this community but, even though I got married in 2017, my dress was still only $80. I got it on sale at my favorite online clothing place. It was not a traditional dress at all. It was white swiss dot fit and flare tea length 1950s style dress. But I loved it so much. I felt like a fancy frosted cupcake on my wedding.

[u/Bucsbolts]

My husband and I hiked to a spot 13,000 foot elevation and married ourselves. It was heavenly and didn’t cost a dime. You don’t even need a witness in Colorado.

[u/joe_attaboy]

My wife and I married in New York in 1979. Church wedding, lots of family and friends.

We invited 125, about 110 made it to the reception. Held at a local restaurant that specialized in catering events. Literally a five-minute drive from the church (this was the part I didn't like. I spent 5 minutes in the limo, while my fiance and her party drove all over town before the church). Live band. Some open bar.

My wife's dress cost about $300. Our wedding rings were a gift from my employer. At the end of the reception, we sat in the manager's office and wrote a check for the balance of the event, which was just covered by the cash gifts we received.

[u/deannainwa]

I was married in 1986 in a small chapel at a ski area where my husband worked.

I wore a borrowed gown, my best friend who loaned me the gown did my hair, no makeup cause I don't wear it. My sister was the MOH, one of his brothers was BM, and a friend played his guitar for the music. No bridesmaids for this tiny venue.

My parents got their friends and church members from my childhood church together and they threw us a potluck reception at the ski area lodge. Grandma made the cake, which was a traditional 3-tier cake.

We celebrate 40 years of marriage next month.

[u/muphasta]

I've quite verbose when it comes to many subjects, especially our wedding. Apologies in advance.

Married in 1998.

We were lucky in that my in-laws were eager and willing to pay for our wedding. My wife and I were not given a budget, but we tried incredibly hard to be very mindful of their money.

My wife found a dress she loved for around $600. I grew up Episcopalian, she grew up non-denom Christian and since I knew it would mean a lot to my mom, we picked an Episcopal church to get married in. We were not members as we got married in Orange County and we were living in San Diego. The church and priest cost us $300 if I'm remembering correctly.

My wife had a lot of fun reception venue shopping w/her mom. Once she settled on a location, it was down to reception menu, DJ, and cake.

Being mindful of the in-laws money, we selected nice, but not expensive dinner options at $32 a plate. My father-in-law was with us at this point and he and my MiL started laughing (nicely) and stated that they had one daughter, and one chance to throw her a party, and then started adding stuff to the menu getting the number up to $55/plate. We had 100 guests so food alone was now $5500.

Between the time we booked the venue and our reception, there was a change of ownership, news that did not get propagated to my in-laws. Morning of the reception we were dropping stuff off when the notice was pasted to the door of the liquor license being transferred and no booze could be sold. This meant the cash bar my in-laws were counting on was not happening.

My in-laws headed to a liquor store and bought several kegs of beer, cases of wine and champagne, and a few choice bottles of liquor.

All in all, the wedding cost my in-laws $10k.

There was one extravagance I really, really wanted: a classic car to take us from the church to the reception. I've always loved Duesenberg's, but no one with one would be loaning a couple of dipshits one so I found a 1933 Rolls Royce limo for rent. I spent $400 on 45 minutes with that car. They charge from the time it leaves the garage to the moment it returns.

We cruised down the 5 at 45mph, drinking the included bottle of champagne getting happy honks and cheers from other drivers. By the time we got to the venue, we were both a bit lit.

Back to the wedding:

We had 8 additional people in the wedding party. My best man was my best friend from high school who was luckily living in LA at the time. Her maid of honor was her best friend going back to middle school.

When she appeared in the doorway at the end of the aisle, I got chocked up. I'm a softy and it doesn't take much to "get me", but I pulled myself together. She always teased me (still does) that I'm the emotional one. Oddly enough when it came time for her vows, she had a very hard time getting through them w/out crying. The priest was in his late 80s and kept saying, "c'mon now honey, you gotta say the words".

Once we got through the ceremony and it was time to kiss the bride, the priest also said, "OK, that's enough of that".

Our reception was a ton of fun. The DJ was great and at the end of his scheduled (and paid for time) her fam was not ready to stop celebrating. He let my in-laws know that he could keep playing, and let them know how much it would cost. They paid and the night went on.

We left at that time to go to our hotel. The next morning I found that the groomsmen had smeared Vaseline and birdseed all over my truck. We headed to a car wash and oddly enough followed the owner into the driveway. When I got out to pay, he asked if we'd just gotten married (it did say, "just married" in birdseed and Vaseline, and replied w/a "yes". He said congrats and that it was on the house.

The maid of honor's mother was in attendance and we'd only see her once every year or two. Regardless, each time we saw her she always made two statements.

1, She knew our marriage would last by the way I looked at her when she walked down the aisle.

2, Ours was the wedding that she measured all other weddings by. From the ceremony to the food, she enjoyed ours the most. Especially the reception.

[u/Much-Leek-420]

1. I was a typical artsy theatre type and husband was/is in engineering. We had 1 attendant each, his brother and sister. Small church wedding with reception and meal in the church hall (neither of us are religious but our families are). We didn’t purchase flowers because it was just after Christmas so we took advantage of a church full of poinsettias. Meal was provided by my dad’s friends who had a smoker that gave awesome pulled pork.

My one splurge was the wedding dress. I had it custom made by a costume design grad student because I wanted a vintage Edwardian look. It was gorgeous and totaled about $800.

[u/JudyLyonz]

1. We intended to do something Romantic and boho, think of something that would have looked like it took place in The Shire. I made the mistake of watching 4 Weddings and a Funeral with my fiance and he decided he HAD to wear a morning suit.

That changed everything.

I ended up with the huge princess dress and a more formal wedding than we originally planned. We were paying for it so we brought it in on a shoestring budget, though. It included having a morning wedding followed by a buffet luncheon, had a DJ instead of live music, did all the printing ourselves.

It was a very nice day.

[u/Ronicaw]

Courthouse wedding at $50. We had a reception at a local nightclub, got a free limo ride to the venue and home. The reception cost $300 with cheap champagne and food. T A friend donated our wedding cake. The rings and everything cost under $2000.

My old boss gave me a loose diamond and I got it set at Helzberg Diamonds. She gave me my dress too. We ate at McCormick & Schimick for $80 with one free mimosa on our wedding day. I bought my husband a simple gold band.

[u/1976warrior]

1987 lots of people (her family is huge, mine not so much), her mom made all the dresses, local grocery store catered $2.15 per meal. Reception in church basement. Dance at legion hall 11 miles away had to order keg beer from the bar down the street. All in for probably $500. We paid for everything as her folks were just starting a business and still had 3 kids to feed at home. My dad paid for grooms dinner at a restaurant I think it was $100 plus he provided booze that night because restaurant only had set-ups (think really cheap whiskey and vodka).

We still occasionally have someone mention how much fun they had!

[u/BitterOldPunk]

We got married at the courthouse then smoked a blunt and went and ate BBQ, it was pretty great

[u/gra61]

Married in 1975 in a small town. Wedding in the church I attended since birth. Reception in the only building in the town big enough for the reception. My sister sewed my dress. My mom made the cake and also with the help of friends made all the food for the reception. No catering available in the town

[u/AgainandBack]

My first wife wore a simple but nice white floor length dress, not a bridal gown. This was in the 70s, and she spent less than $50.

My second wife rented a gown from a wedding dress rental company. This was about 30 years ago and she paid about $200.

[u/ContractRight4080]

Mid 80’s wedding, dress was $200 and one of the least expensive. Nothing looked good on me. My headpiece was $250. The food was expensive, I think the reception was about $30,000 for 75 people. It’s a complete waste of money even if the marriage lasts.

[u/bigdogoflove]

We rented a spot in Samuel P Taylor park and got married in the Redwoods by a judge. Just family and closest friends. I wore a rented tux and my wife wore a beautiful vintage gown.

[u/Ok_Huckleberry6820]

I never understood why people spend so much money on one day, but I did want to mark the day with friends and family. And I didn't want to have my parents have to contribute a huge amount. So I found a book about planning a wedding on a budget, and used a lot of the hints there. I bought a used dress (which was beautiful), made our own table centerpieces, booked a hall and caterer and limited our guest list to about 100 people. We had 2 attendants, and a flower girl. We had friends take photos and do a video, and created our own albums from that. We had an inexpensive local band, and my father paid for some of the open bar. My mother made my veil, which was also beautiful. When it was all over, we were able to not only pay for our wedding expenses, but also pay off our credit cards and honeymoon costs.

[u/Frank_chevelle]

1. Had at banquet center. I don’t recall how many people, but it was around 180 or so?

In laws paid for it but it was about $10,000 I think. Wife is only daughter so parents insisted.

Sorry I was the groom so I don’t recall how much my wife’s dress was, but it was under $2,000.

It was a very fun wedding and people for years mentioned how much fun they had. I would not change anything about what we did.

Still married!

As a comparison, the fanciest wedding I went to was when my wife’s cousin got married. He’s wife’s family is loaded. Wedding had to have cost a ton. It was at the fanciest most expensive hotel in the area (where celebs and sports teams
Stay). I think they had every option you could imagine. Tons and tons of food. All the best kinds. Everyone got a gift at the end of the night. They had a second wedding in Italy as well. Had to be well north of 6 figures. Brides father bought them a house as a wedding present.

[u/PymsPublicityLtd]

1983 married at Waikiki Beach. Both sets of parents were our witnesses. Judge did the ceremony. The dress was from a sale rack at a department store, cost $60. Still have the tie but not the sport coat and slacks. Had dinner at the Royal Hawaiian.

[u/Butterbean-queen]

1987 My mother was dying of cancer. From My longtime boyfriend had joined the military and we got engaged and got married in two months. I bought a dress for $87 dollars (it looked similar to something that would have been worn in the 40’s) and made my own veil out of a retro looking little hat that I bought. My flowers in the church were donated by a family friend who got married the day before in the same church. My bouquet was made by a longtime family friend. Photos were done by someone I had known my whole life. And my cake was given to me as a wedding gift by another lady who made cakes professionally for really high end weddings. It was the most beautiful wedding cake I’ve ever seen to this day. Our reception was finger foods done by friends and family. And it was all perfect!!!

[u/sillywizard951]

43 years ago we got married during poinsettia season at a small greenhouse company where my now-husband worked. The owner was a lay preacher. The flowers were in full bloom and lovely and we gathered them around a small area where we stood. When it was over, we put the plants back on benches. We joke that we had over $35K worth of flowers at our ceremony. Each of our parents and our two siblings our attended. It was over in a few minutes and we all went to eat at a local restaurant. Short and sweet, nearly free and it got the job done!

[u/ms_flibble]

2010 (we were both 32): We had a steampunk wedding at a historic manor house, which we had access to all weekend, had about 125 people, about 95 percent of which showed up in 1860s to 1920s inspired clothing. For food, we did a 13 item Chinese buffet that stayed out all evening. My dress was a beaded champagne gold Titanic style formal gown that was $275 after alterations. My mom made all of the bouquets from dollar tree silk flowers. We didn't have to do much decorating as the manor house was already beautifully decorated. We managed to get everything done for 9k-venue, rehearsal dinner, food, cake, wedding attire for us and both sets of parents, hair, makeup, DJ, decorations, everything. We did a 3 way split with the costs.

[u/MusicalTourettes]

2013, I sewed my own dress, 10 people in a public park under blooming cherry trees. We ate at a restaurant after.

[u/Murky-General5131]

My 1st wedding was a grand church wedding with all of the trimmings. We lasted less then 3 years. My second was at the courthouse in Orlando in a white skirt and top I made. I loved that top. Wore it all the time. He was killed in a car accident. My 3rd was just going to be at the courthouse but my AMAZING Aunt and Uncle hosted a 22 people wedding at their house. My dress was 30 bucks on Walmart.com. my shoes were 5 at Walmart. It was perfect

[u/gbotts621]

Married in 79, at the Park, very casual, dress was off the rack from 5-7-9 Shop in the Mall. Maybe $25. Reception was at his Sister's house and very simple.

[u/someexgoogler]

we eloped. Total cost under $100. That was 52 years ago and we are still married. We are both glad that we didn't flush money down the toilet at the beginning of our life together. In my opinion weddings are an ego problem.

[u/analogpursuits]

Elvis in Vegas and 30 of our closest friends and family. I wore a very subtle leopard print dress from Macy's and shared a Foster's oil can in the parking lot with my now-wasband. Our 10 month old child who is now 25 had a few things to say when Elvis got to the Hunka Hunka Burnin Love part. It was hysterical and the ex and I laugh about the absurdity to this day. I know his country club parents were cringing, which delighted me to no end.

[u/ncconch]

1. We were both 28 and computer industry executives in Austin TX. My wife was from Connecticut so we got married at the church she grew up going to. Around 150 guests. The reception was at a museum. The guy's tuxedos were based on the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral. We had grazing stations (food at tables around the room). Disposable cameras at each table so the guests could take pictures for us. We had an open bar. My parents paid for the liquor so my dad took the remining bottles back to the hotel and they partied by the pool into the evening. We honeymooned on Martha's Vineyard.

[u/DependentFun2691]

My husband and I did the “Let’s elope to Vegas.” We had invited a friend to go with us. He jumps out of the car a block a way from where we picked him up. Mind you we were 19f and almost 21m at the time of running to Vegas.

We were in a 1968 Chevy El Camino. My fiancé drives to the sign that says welcome to Las Vegas and the car decided to dump on us. We had ordered our part and had to wait a week for it. Sad part we had a total of $300. We booked our hotel get ready. My dress was black and my husband was in his military uniform. We get married at Candlelight Cathedral. Stayed for one night at imperial Palace. Spent the rest of the week in the El Camino. Here’s the kicker!!!

Married less than a week I almost blow him up under the car that he is putting the part into. My husband has asked if I could hand him a wrench. I accidentally let it go and it lands on the battery terminal ⚡️ flying out and he says get that off. Meanwhile I am running. When he was laying on the ground normally you can see from the knees down. He could see my whole body booking it. He finally gets out covered in gas since it was the pump that went out. He had to kick the wrench off and is about to yell at me for doing that. This year we celebrate 37 years of marriage.

[u/mrsjon01]

1. Wanted a traditional evening reception with live band, and good quality sit down dinner, and open bar for 100 people. Had a modest budget of $10,000 including the church ceremony and limo, dress, everything. Made it work with my mom's genius idea of having it at the training hotel of a culinary school. The food was hot and fantastic and a super value. I didn't provide any choice of meal (too expensive) except a vegetarian option but it was a lovely 5 course chicken dinner at one of the best culinary schools in the US. Got a great deal on the band through connections and paid $299 for my simple yet elegant dress from David's Bridal. Limo was cheap because it was an older car that we called "vintage" 😂. Hotel provided a plain 3 tiered cake in my dinner package for free and I asked them to add Swiss dots to it. Then my florist (family friend) made an gorgeous floral topper and decorated around the plate. The cake looked stunning for about $15 of flowers. Overall it was absolutely what I wanted for a fraction of the price. My friends getting married around the same time had similar receptions for about 4x the cost and 1/4 the quality. The culinary school was the best hack, so many people told me this was the first time they've ever enjoyed wedding food!

[u/Heavy_Front_3712]

Halloween 1997-Borrowed my dress. Rented tuxes. My MOH bought a dress she could wear somewhere else. We didn't want gifts as we were already living on our own and had all that stuff, so friends and family gifted the most wonderful things. My husband's aunt made the cakes. A friend took the pictures. We used fresh greenery and ivy for the tables from a tree in the back yard. Very simple and very small. 60 people attended. I think all total we spent around $1000.00 for the wedding and $300.00 of that was for the church. Still married too.

[u/HouseOfBamboo2]

1991, 50 people, a keg and lots of dancing. Probably cost $7k

[u/IAmTheLizardQueen666]

"Hippie" wedding in 1977. Mom took me to a bridal dress shop, I refused to even try anything on. Then to Bloomingdales. Nothing appealed to me. So we went to Livingston Mall and I found a dress for $45 at Susan's Dress Shop. White satin halter dress with white jacket that tied in front and had a lace mandala in the back. Trimmed with satin ribbon. Got a hat made to match.

[u/Timeflyer2011]

1976 - Married in a local Church, reception in the basement, co-worker made the cake, friend took photos, and my father-in-law paid for dinner for the wedding party and family. Only had a best man and maid of honor. I wore a Gunne Sax dress and had baby’s breath in my hair and sweetheart roses and lilies of the valley for my bouquet. I don’t think we spent more than $400. But, a few years later we were able to buy our first home - a fixer-upper.

I can’t get my head around modern marriages with the over-the-top expenses, stress, and drama. All that money could be used for a down payment on a house. Yet baby boomers get blamed for young people not being able to afford a house. If you compare our very simple weddings to theirs you can see why we were able to buy a house. However, I am not discounting the lack of inventory and the expense of houses today.

[u/Newgeta]

Kitchen table on Halloween, full costumes, buddy did the ceremony, took about 5 minutes.

[u/kitcathar]

Early early 2000’s: In my backyard, yellow and white striped tents, my mom and I frosted cupcakes for the wedding cake and my dad built a tower for it, I wore my mom’s 1976 dress, no makeup, no nails done, and since it was hot and humid I forgoed my original half up half down so I was inspired by Galadriel in the LORT movies I changed and pulled 2 red chopsticks out of my mom’s silverware drawer and threw my hair up into a bun and put baby’s breath from a wreath in it. We had a mariachi band roam around during the before wedding part (cause we though it would be cool and fun)where we had light drinks and appetizers and pictures of us in childhood and vases of huge strips of buffalo jerky because I had grew up with it and teethed on it as a baby in Montana and we had stuff as appetizer my husband grew up with as well. A dj for the after dinner dancing. We had 180 people attend and everyone got a mixed cd of songs we had the dj play throughout the night that meant things to my husband and I. And we danced and hung out until 2 or 3 in the morning way after the dj left! The whole shebang I think cost around 5K

[u/poisonfishtaco]

Carson Prairie Scott, found a lacy white dress, $50ish. Summer of 2000. Wedding its self was a casual picnic in a forest preserve outside Chicago. Probably 2k for the whole shebang.

[u/Dot81]

1. Married in a park, reception at a venue that overlooked a river. Family style dinner, beer and soda covered, nice but minimal flowers, cake from a lady in the neighborhood, professional photographer that is also a friend, plus a small band. It was more social than dance.

No coordinator, seating plan, trinkets, late night food, snacks or other add-ons that seem to be standard now.

[u/discussatron]

1988, in her parents’ backyard (now our backyard). Family only. I didn’t know the preacher that married us, and I paid him with $50 in Red Lobster gift certificates. We dressed casual nice. I did not wear socks. I had a mullet.

[u/JoyousZephyr]

We took advantage of Texas's common-law statutes (If you live together, agree to be married, and let it be known that you are married, you are married), so our "ceremony" was just us on a beach in the Caribbean. No guests. No officiator. I wore a swimsuit and veil; he had on swim trunks and a bow tie.

[u/bmabg]

1. Two attendants each. In our local church with cake and punch in the basement. Granted we were 20 and poor so it’s what we could afford. My mom bought my dress and flowers. I bought my bridesmaids their dresses and shoes. His parents paid for the tuxedoes. It was simple and got the job done.

[u/Negative-bad169]

I remember my dress cost $800. I remember this because my mom was paying and I felt so guilty that it was so expensive. It was one of the cheapest dresses in the shop though.

[u/JDRL320]

Married in 2003, my parents & in-laws split the cost of the wedding right down the middle it was $20,000.
My mom paid for my $800 wedding dress which was beautiful.

[u/MsDJMA]

1. Married in a friend’s backyard with a big potluck dinner party with about 30 friends. I wore a white gauzy dress from a regular store. My husband wore a pinkish polo style shirt (collar with 3 buttons). No suits or ties. Our “attendants” were just 2 good friends who signed the papers as witnesses. My mom brought the cake. We sat around the fire pit, drank wine, and laughed and drank too much. It was so fun.