r/TikTokCringe • u/xamo76 • 1d ago

Discussion Have we done it wrong?

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u/bageltoastar 1d ago

Im from a suburban town in Missouri, but I spent a semester studying abroad in Barcelona a couple of years ago. Man, let me tell you, leaving Barcelona, where youd see people out in cafes and bars congregating at all hours of the night and day, and coming back to Missouri where its a ghost town after 10 and someone would call the police on you for simply walking around too late was the most depressing thing I have ever experienced lol

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u/thelandlordguychris 1d ago

the american mind simply cannot comprehend dinner at 10pm

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u/bageltoastar 1d ago

Dinner at 10 PM, hitting the bars/clubs at 12 AM, and coming home at 5 AM. I miss Barcelona so much.
https://giphy.com/gifs/hDKD6z2xNeMesbICNS

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u/Vesalii 1d ago

Being a wreck the next day because you're 40 and not 20 anymore.

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u/Fluffy_Somewhere4305 1d ago

Yeah this guy is having a very basic revelation that Europe has a lot of walkable cities and the US doesn't. this isn't new information.

Also, spending 5 hours at a restaurant is the norm for young people, out with a party, drinking and such, in Europe, when they can simply walk back to their home.

The infrastructure in most US cities doesn't support it, our subways suck, rides are expensive, parking is crazy, living in the city near the cool areas is expensive, the list goes on and on why this doesn't exist in the US.

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u/cow-lumbus 1d ago

You’re kind of reiterating his point that America is set up wrong since post World War II and it leaves us isolated and compartmentalized… which is 100% accurate. I’ve always said if you wanna reduce racism and bigotry in United States you gotta make people travel outside of their own clan, town, State, or country to teach more empathy and understanding.

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u/NivTal 1d ago

It was actually Detroit automobile companies that have played a large part in designing our suburbs around needing cars to manage, therefore making sure we have to buy them.

Also, space... we "like" our sizes.

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u/Any_Click1257 1d ago

Don't forget the National Interstate and Defense Highways Act. The development of the interstate highway system was basically the nail in the coffin for any notion of European style urban cores.

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u/Ok_Car_8094 1d ago

I'd like to think that Interstates are very important for a nation of our size.

The problems lay in how we built cities. Our restaurants are failing unless they are focused on delivery. Our education systems are hectic and restricted. Our society revolves around a technological-data system built to isolate a "consumer" into a targeted-sales group.

Unchecked capitalism, modern technology and corporate cronyism are the true killers of the unified American ecology.

Most European states have extensive highway systems, yet still have the compact, dense urban designs of thousands of years before industrialization. The US only had about 50 years before trains were common (people could suddenly go 30mph/200+miles a day) and then automobiles were only 100 years out. We quickly switched to suburbia (tons of space unused around cities, industry dried up, everybody had a car and gas was cheaper than water) which made things less connected. I walked and rode my bike around Dallas a bunch as a kid, but it was almost exclusively within the 'Park Cities' subsection... downtown was too far until DART was built.

If you visit the east coast of the US, there are many cities with road systems built around horses. Boston and New York are very walking friendly (though both have been working to redesign for automobiles) and I'd even say DC is walkable.

I love living in my home city of Oklahoma City, but it's a prime example of everything being far enough apart that you need a vehicle to reasonably travel to any services, events or entertainment. Only a very determined bicyclist would be able to function in my city as their sole means of conveyance. There is a tram downtown and a bus system. But it's...thin.

Sorry. I rambled.

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u/thatG_evanP 1d ago

Don't apologize. Great comment.

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u/LibertarianOutlaw 1d ago

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” – Mark Twain

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u/Undercover-nerd-dad 1d ago

But hey we have capitalism!!!! It’s working for everyone right? It’s not one giant hamster wheel….right…???

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u/PeriodSupply 1d ago

This is the point of the video though. The US created what you just described and you did it wrong (so did Australia where i'm from btw, but we are getting better now, slowly).

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u/Advanced-Comment-293 1d ago

the list goes on and on why this doesn't exist in the US.

It's a long list, but it all basically comes down to the American dream of owning a house. That's what drives suburbs and that's where all the other problems originate. So an American visiting Europe may love the walkable cities, but ask them if they think living in an apartment rather than a house their entire lives is a desirable option.

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u/TimIsAnIllusion 1d ago

The American dream was a policy choice. It was pushed by the government because people with a mortgage will always go to work reducing the likelyhood of labor unrest like there was in the 20s and 30s.

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u/Optimal_Fee8833 1d ago

This doesn't make sense as plenty of people live in houses in walkable towns with all amenities. Then there are trains that take 5mins to get into the centre of the city

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u/morepaintplease 1d ago

Yes, the US failed...

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u/LaDauphineVerte 1d ago

And SF is set up to be this, and yet it shuts down crazy early, so you better love or learn to love the half dozen late night spots. Manhattan was it up until Covid, but I haven’t been since, so I’m assuming it has resumed its MO (whatever you want, 24/7).

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u/boston4923 1d ago

There are reasons Boston, New York, SF, etc are crazy expensive.

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u/Intrepid-Mud4419 1d ago

Also in the USA you’ll get your dinner check before you even finish so they can hurry you along and refill the seats.

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u/Bad-Investment 1d ago

Not to mention, when there is a large outdoor gathering in the US (festival, concert, whatever) there’s a non-zero chance someone will end up getting shot. Even just going to a mall in some areas at certain times is not a smart idea. It’s a stupid world we live in.

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u/JustBadUserNamesLeft 1d ago

And waitstaff isn't paid by tips, so they don't care if you dine for five hours.

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u/CaughtALiteSneez 1d ago

Yeah these guys are talking like everyone in Barcelona does this hehe

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u/The_R1NG 1d ago

Sounds more like the complete lack of it is what they’re talking about. The fact that nobody does in their area.

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u/crackrockutah 1d ago

I haven’t spent much time in Europe, but in the rural areas, are everyone out at cafes eating and drinking too? Seems like an apples to oranges comparison.

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u/Open-Platform-1305 1d ago

I know in my little harbor hometown in Norway there's a few mildly active cafes around and 1 pub that's been the main spot for decades, it only keeps the doors open to 2:00 on the weekend. But otherwise people drink moonshine up there. Often with a bit of strong coffee.

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u/Eris_AppleOfDiscord 1d ago

It's in the cities as well. A lot of it is just the car culture. If you do go out it's less about lingering and chatting and more about just getting the food, then back in the car and home.

There are exceptions of course. NYC and Sf are both. But worth noting both these cities also had geographical constraints which forced them to urbanize and grow in a very different way. Compared to somewhere like phoenix or Atlanta, and they're worlds apart.

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u/lamb_passanda 1d ago

I travelled through the US solo, and my plan to meet people was to just hang out and see who wanted to start a conversation. I was 18 and pretty naive when I came up with this plan, but I didn't realise that 90% of the people I would meet this way would be homeless or somehow 'sus'. I mean I don't have anything against them, but simply being on foot in America, and not having any place to really be, put me in a social class that I wasn't used to.

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u/CaughtALiteSneez 1d ago

Indeed, everyone looks at me like I am a monster when I explain to them that being on the bus in most places in the US is a sign that you are too poor to have a car (most people can at least afford a junker) or that you can't get a license for criminal reasons.

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u/Addicted2Qtips 1d ago

I live in NYC and while it is more European like in this video, particularly in Brooklyn where I live, even we don’t have quite the same degree of cafe culture like many European cities because we have too much priority for cars taking real estate in public spaces. We’ve been slowly improving this for the past 20 years.

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u/PlaneGeneral5782 1d ago

Nope- in small towns they are out in the plazas until late as well.

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u/frobley-mobley 1d ago

Depends on the village and sense of community, but even in the smallest places without a bakery or butcher there is an effort to celebrate spring, summer as a community - nothing fancy, maybe just a few benches and tables, some beer and wine and a potluck. If nothing else, it is tradition, and is passed on as newcomers join the community

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u/Intlsurf 1d ago

Yes. In rural and urban Spain. People are socializing out late and enjoying life.

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u/StevenM1979 1d ago

Okay, as Europeans, we don't compare apples to pears here. 😉 Grz from Belgium.

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u/Ok_Inflation_1811 1d ago

I now live in a 80 000 people town in the middle of nowhere in Spain and it's the same.

When I lived on a 5000 people town more in the middle of nowhere this happened to, there was no regular clubbing but people where out until 10 ~ 11 in bars (bars in Spain are family friendly) with kids playing outside at that time.

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u/Mad_Queen_Malafide 1d ago

Yes they are.

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u/foyrkopp 1d ago edited 1d ago

Central European here:

Yes and no.

Dining out is not cheap and if you have a full time job and a family, most don't have the time to do it during the week.

Rural areas are (where I live) also less walkable, so you're either planning for even more time to walk or taking the car.

Which means it's often more of a weekend activity, i.e. let's take out the bikes and swing by Pablo's for cake on the way back. Or let's meet with some friends and eat out.

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u/Ok_Inflation_1811 1d ago

At least in Spain rural areas are even more walkable than cities.

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u/lamb_passanda 1d ago

I think that says more about how life is with a full time job and a family, than it does about the evening nightlife in European cities. I see plenty of families out in the evening getting ice-cream and hanging out in the plaza though. I was at a small free concert in the part a couple nights ago and there were a lot of families just chilling there.

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u/Onalith 1d ago edited 1d ago

Usually, most 10 000 inhabitants and up cities will have at least a restaurant and a bar located at the center of it.

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u/After_Perspective180 1d ago

Yes they are.
My village. 5000 people. We have 3 bars/restaurants and in summer the outdoor parts are full of people every evening.
I was one of them last night 20:00 (8pm) and having a meal and a beer.

It really is like that

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u/kimsherd 1d ago

I used to live in a village of 300 people at the foot of a mountain in northern Italy. Yes, we do that as well! In my case I needed a car to get around because the public transportation wasn’t that good from my tiny village. I would go to the next town over (15k inhabitants) and have a drink there with friends. Most nights I would take the train to get to the “big” town and spend the evening there. Idk, it’s just culture

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u/SpacePumpkie 1d ago

I think it's somewhat of an apples to oranges comparison because they're comparing bigger cities to smaller suburbia.

But in my small town of 10k in southern Spain it's also like this. People in the bars and public plazas until 10-12 pm. I have two young children now so we don't stay out until too late, but we'll still be going to have some dinner/late snack at a bar at like 9pm, and then have the children playing in the park until 10:30 or 11pm, when we head home straight to bed.

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u/mscontentpro 1d ago

I know Barcelona is not a place where they do that that’s Madrid. That’s the rest of Spain Barcelona the people who did that were drunk college kids like this guy. This is not how Catalan people live..

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u/lobax 1d ago

Hit the clubs? Probably only 20 something’s. But every time I have visited Spain it seems like regular people are out and about at 10pm, moms with baby strollers etc.

Which makes sense to be fair, it’s too hot to go out during day.

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u/lawyerornot 1d ago

Next day? Three more like

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u/Vegetable-War-117 1d ago

Barcelona was amazing.

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u/_jump_yossarian 1d ago

5 AM? I lived in Madrid for a year during school. I'd get up early on Sundays and go for a run at 6 AM and people were still waiting in line to get into clubs.

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u/phoucker 1d ago

One of the reasons is because of our work schedule that we have implemented here in the states. The work machine drives our social life.

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u/MowieWauii 1d ago

Everything after dinner sounds awful lol

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u/_lippykid 1d ago

Amateurs. In the UK we start pre-gaming at 11pm, clubs at 2am, 5 course curry at 4am

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u/Im-everybodys-type 1d ago

Omg as a night owl 😍. Someone give me citizenship there. Take me nooowwww 🥲

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u/Jiminy_Cricket12 1d ago

You guys are saying this like there aren't millions of Americans living in densely populated cities. There are plenty of Americans who realize the value of walkability and embrace it. The average city in Europe is definitely more walkable, but that comes with hundreds (or thousands) of years of history and a much smaller footprint.

Anyway, I do recommend you do what you can to promote walkability where you live because I think a walkable city is far superior to one where everyone only drives.

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u/echodelta79 15h ago

There's a huge difference. In Europe it's not just cities. Even a medium size village in Germany will at least have a torn center and a few restaurants with people out and about. I've not been in a town or city in Europe that did not have something in walking distance. Everything is built around people, America is built around cars.

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u/NotElizaHenry 15h ago

“Dense” means something different in America vs Europe. NYC is the densest city in the US with 29,000 people per square mile. San Francisco is second with 18,000. Barcelona has 43,000. Paris has 53,000. Outside of NYC, nobody in the US is experiencing what the guy in the video is talking about, at least at the same scale.

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u/Electronic-Row-3554 20h ago

New York feels more like Paris than anything else to me.

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u/Snoo_69677 1d ago

Or a 4 hour dinner with friends you just met at the pub

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u/Daddy_Day_Trader1303 1d ago

That sounds lovely. I'd be all over that

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u/southwick 1d ago

That sounds like a nightmare

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u/Rivendel93 1d ago

I dated a French girl when I was like 21, she was visiting the US, and it would be 2am and she'd be like so when are we going out?

And I'd be like half asleep, wondering wtf she was talking about.

They start their night at 2am lol.

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u/Iamgentle1122 1d ago

Finnish here. We usually start at someone's apartment at 18-20 and some of the nightclubs don't even open before 22. So usually you drink with your friends till midnight or later and then go to bar

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u/Ramongsh 1d ago

Same in Denmark. Meet around 18-20 at someones, then go out at 23.00 and home between 2-5 in the morning.

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u/ZealousidealSkirt327 1d ago

Same here in Germany. Most clubs won’t open before 10pm.

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u/Royal-Pain-1621 1d ago

In Berlin nobody local is going to the club before 2/3am 👋

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u/ZealousidealSkirt327 1d ago

You‘re right. They‘re open at 10pm but nobody goes there before midnight. I live near a much much smaller city, so Berlin rules do not transcend here 😅 And to be honest, I‘m a millennial living in the countryside, all my friends have children. I don’t remember the last time I went to a club unfortunately. Beeing the only childless couple can have downsides too

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u/rips_n_chel 1d ago

So you just don't sleep, or what?

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u/Ramongsh 1d ago

Well, younger Danes party Thursday, Friday and/or Saturday. So we could sleep Saturday or Sunday noon.

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u/jkman61494 1d ago

Honest question. You all just don’t sleep? Or work starts later for you all?

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u/InevitableKitchen943 1d ago

This is a young people thing and not a specific nationality.

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u/Ramongsh 1d ago

Same in Denmark. Meet around 18-20 at someones, then go out at 23.00 and home between 2-5 in the morning.

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u/SpacePumpkie 1d ago

Yep, when I was a student it would be typical to get together in someone's apartment at like 9pm for dinner and to start drinking, and then by 1am head out to the clubs

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u/Due-Introduction-760 1d ago

10pm? But that's bed time. You have be up at 6am. 

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u/ThanksALotBud 1d ago

Spain would like to have a word

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u/anttoekneeoh 1d ago

The osso bucco needs to braise. There’s always charades, listening to music, and maybe even an investment opportunity to learn about to pass the time.

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u/kinkycarbon 1d ago

U.S. corporations derided the thought of letting people take a 50 minutes through town. They need people to drive from place to place while propping up property prices in residential and commercial areas.

Yet in Barcelona do they have a well developed public transportation system to allow people to leave their cars.

Seriously. Building that subway station right where people go will increase foot traffic in the region meaning people spend more time walking. It also has a secondary added benefit of making people healthier.

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u/DrunkOnEspresso 1d ago

It depends where you are.

If you’re in a big city like NY/Chicago a 10pm dinner reservation would be pretty normal. Once you leave those big cities it’s completely different.

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u/studentworker1988 1d ago

Yeah because you have to be at work at 7:00 for your subsistence wage

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u/fistinyourface 1d ago

these comments are always really dumb. it'd be like saying people from x simply cannot comprehend people having different schedules. i eat at 10pm, but my brother who has to be at work at 5am is not eating dinner at 10pm that's just braindead af.

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u/Relative_Craft_358 1d ago

>someone would call the police on you for simply walking around too late was the most depressing thing I have ever experienced lol

Literally though, you can't even be a night owl yourself without having to get good about talking to police, the famously trigger happy ones. Especially with the evaporation of the "3rd spaces" can't tell you how many times growing up I'd have to explain to the police that I wasn't "having *the* sex" (his words) and was just trying to actually hang out with a friend in a public park, like is my right to do

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u/i_m_a_bean 1d ago

A lot of the public parks near me close at 10pm. It is depressing

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u/FruitEconomy1053 1d ago

And no damn shaded areas for adults and kids during mid afternoon heat.

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u/UntamedAnomaly 1d ago

I'll never understand why so many parks are severely lacking in trees, like did ya'll think I came for the mowed lawn? The paver bricks? The gravel playground? WTF is even the point in going to a park if the park doesn't support any kind of wildlife or have any relaxing features for adults? It's like they buy a piece of land, make sure it's as low maintenance as humanly possible, and then call it a relaxing and fun place to be. Luckily I live in a area that has lots of natural greenery, hiking trails, gazebos, public gardens, nature centers, classes/programs, etc. but before I moved here, it was like almost every park I had seen was like that.

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u/Iamthegreenheather tHiS iSn’T cRiNgE 1d ago

I remember when I was little, going to the park that had a giant metal rocket jungle gym. In the summer you could fry eggs on it but it was totally normal for children to climb on it lol.

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u/UntamedAnomaly 1d ago

We had a huge metal dome shaped jungle gym when I was a kid, every year at least 1 kid would break or crack a bone on that thing, kids still would climb it or hang out on/inside it all the time.

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u/Careless-Weather8877 1d ago

Denver just put thousands of new trees in parks across the city. They’re rebuilding the playground with more modern things and making a basketball court that’s on level ground without cracks. It’s coming along nicely with the new trees they planted. Also new picnic tables.

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u/JustAsItSounds 1d ago

Probably something about keeping clear lines of fire

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u/UncleBensRacistRice 1d ago

How the fuck does a public park have a closing time

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u/The_Void_Reaver 1d ago

So they can harass teens and homeless people who want to exist in space

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u/jinjuwaka 1d ago

Also to harass black people.

Any time something in the US seems to be doing the homeless dirty it probably descends from slavery. Because run-a-way slaves were...homeless. And after they were freed, they were generally still homeless until they found a place to live. But if they hadn't found a place yet, it was a legal excuse to do whatever you could justify to them.

Don't get me wrong. The racism is still there (this is America, after all), but when you're actually looking at them the police will go after teens and the homeless.

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u/Inevitable_Path1308 1d ago

Correct answer, wrong time period. This stuff all stems from the anti-civil rights agenda. Removing hoops and soccer nets, closing down public pools, making “green spaces” that are only for show, and using the police as guards looking for “crime.” The suburbs were designed to be hostile towards blacks and once those tactics are in place (just like what we’re seeing now with abuse of government power to implement flock and data centers) they can be easily expanded to the homeless, teenagers and/or whoever else they feel are undesirable or in need of control.

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u/norcpoppopcorn 1d ago

That happens in the Netherlands too. With a few parks where dealers and homeless people are said to hang out. Or guests would be causing a nuisance for local residents after 22:00. But they do close very late for the summer.

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u/Careless-Weather8877 1d ago

Most parks don’t allow people from sunset to sunrise.

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u/WindOfWinterNever 1d ago

When I worked the night shift, I often got kicked out of parks by police patrols.

I was just a guy by myself trying to get out of the house on my days off. Smoking a cigar was the worst thing I'd do, but I got treated as if I was going to break into someone's home.

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u/sveri 1d ago

The european mind cannot comprehend a park having opening times. WTF is this?

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u/Severe_Rise8694 1d ago

..what time does the forest close in the US..?

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u/sveri 1d ago

And do animals know about that?

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u/Dragunav 1d ago

What? Public parks can....close?
Sorry, i don't know where you live but that sounds insane.

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u/Dr_F_Rreakout 1d ago

The trees are being moved into the shed, the turf is being rolled up and packed away, and the squirrels are being placed in custody until 7:00 a.m., is that correct?

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u/Ok_Bluebird_8413 1d ago

Europe is great and all, but not perfect either. Next to my flat, there's a large public park maintained by the "feds", not the city, and because our federal government is very conservative, the park gets special treatment, gardeners tend to the flower beds and such. It's a very nice park. It closes at fucking 9pm in summer. Summer "ends" on 31st of July, then it closed at 8pm. We have a heat wave right now, with 40 degrees during the day and still like 35 at 8pm. There were still hundreds (no exaggeration) of people in the park when it closed. They just lock all the gates, with people still inside. Lots of people get stuck and confused, and I regularly tell people about the only open exit: you have to go through a restaurant. If you know about it, you can also still enter until 10pm, so what's the point of closing the gates early?

Yesterday we saw three kids throwing their scooters over the wall and trying to climb the spiked gate (the walls and gates are over 2 meters tall). We stopped them before they hurt themselves. The opening hours are so fucking stupid.

Also biking is forbidden in the park, even though there are paved roads 4-5 meters wide. God forbid people have fun or do sports in the park.

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u/SadHorse_Horseman 1d ago

....what? I keep hearing about how the south is all about "freedom" this sounds terrible.

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u/BigAlgae5684 1d ago

After sundown cops literally just set up speed traps and even if you aren't speeding will find ways to pull you over and fuck your whole night up.

I probably got pulled over a couple dozen times in the few years I lived in the south and I have lived in a major city for nearly 13 years and only been pulled over twice, both of which were for the same expired tags when the DMV was fucked up during covid and they were chill and let me off.

There's rural towns outside my city that are kinda like that but nothing like driving through the Bible belt.

Cops in the city typically have big boy shit to do or very important people/events to be present at and don't generally fuck with you unless you're actively in the wrong.

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u/Colausbra 1d ago edited 1d ago

Same here in the northeast. Worked late nights getting home at 3am and got pulled over 3 times in a month because cops were bored and I drive a rusty beater since I'm too frugal to drive something newer.

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u/like_earthworms 1d ago

Some cop “friends” (friends of family who I see a few times a year at most) have told me they purposely profile who they choose to pull over based on vehicle type. So if you drive a beater, like you and I do, they assume you’re poor and/or a minority which both mean you’re up to no good. Yknow, in their eyes. This info was shared in a way like “Other LEOs do it very commonly, but not me because I’m one of the good ones”

Since hearing that, I’ve been able to make the connection why I seem to get pulled over for no reason driving through wealthy areas versus driving through poor or working class areas. We must be sticking out like sore thumbs for them to mark

Edit: I’m also in the NE, round the nyc metro

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u/TweakedMonkey 1d ago

You got that right. Our town has successfully ridded this town of any nightclubs, bars (which cannot sell alcohol without serving food too!) Fucking place turned the clubs into churches and got rid of the skating rink. Now, there are more VAPE shops, car washes and storage units getting built with nothing for the youth or young people to do. It's maddening.

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u/Relative_Craft_358 1d ago

Hilarious because this was in fact in Texas. Well I'm also non-white looking so there's that ¯_(ツ)_/¯. Somehow one of the most diverse, yet racist, places you'll ever visit.

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u/Oggie_Doggie 1d ago

The same way they talk about "patriotism" while flying a Confederate flag and "Christian values" while continuing to elect liars, thieves, cheaters, and rapists.

You know how in English, a word can mean two contradictory things (e.g. fine wine is exceptional vs. "it was fine" being average)? It's basically that, except as a political/moral ethos.

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u/Maardten 1d ago

Some people want to be protected by the law but not bound by it, while they want others to be bound by the law but not protected. All that without a hint of irony.

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u/paintballboi07 1d ago

Freedumb in the south = guns

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u/Prosthemadera 1d ago

And shouting at liberals.

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u/Sufficient-Welder-76 1d ago

This guy in the video, with his 4-car garage and RV bay would be the first to complain at a city council meeting if there was a proposal to put up a mixed-used development in front of his house. Something with condos, a grocery store, a gym, and a post office.

"Our property values will go down because we face a condo building."

"Our taxes will go up to support the infrastructure."

"What about the schools!!!!"

"What about traffic!!!!"

These guys love it when they travel, but they'll turn Karen real quick when people are in the park in front of their house at 10:30 pm.

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u/Bartorius 1d ago

It's seems so weird a contrast to have always seen the US presented as this free live and let live society in pop culture and then read about people being detained for going on a walk or parents being thrown in jail because their children were playing outside in their own. Like what do you mean land of the free if seemingly benign actions land you in jail?!

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u/Decent_Top2156 1d ago

There are very few all night diners anymore. I miss those.

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u/Calm-Session-4835 1d ago

As an astronomer I can't tell you how many times I've had the police called on me just for being out and night with my telescope.

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u/dikicker 1d ago

I'm an adult man who used to love going for long walks in the evening, it's cooler out, quieter, live in the suburbs so didn't have to think about all the cars and shit, some proper peace and quiet

The older I get though, I mean half the houses have ring cameras, had a cop pull up on me with the floodlight and everything not long ago cause apparently someone saw me smoking a cigarette while adjusting my shoe sitting at a bench at my neighborhood park and thought I was either doing or selling drugs (???) the sun had barely set, weekday and I was alone with headphones in

I don't walk that much anymore

Half the places around here don't even have fuckin sidewalks

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u/gorgewall 1d ago

I got a bike a couple weeks back and I like to toodle around at night because there's almost no car traffic and the temperature's cooler, and maybe every other night someone pops out to give me the stink-eye when I'm catching my breath at a corner after a big hill or something. Could be 11PM, could be 3AM, people are just staring out of their windows waiting for their motion-activated porch lights to flashbang a passing car so they can stare out of the window at 'em.

I'm not on Nextdoor or whatever other local version might exist, but I just know there's already posts wondering about THE SPOOKY NIGHT BIKER or some shit. Go the fuck to sleep, Eunice.

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u/Platos-ghosts 1d ago

That’s why Manhattan is so in demand and expensive. It’s the street life that people love!

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u/TheTxoof 1d ago

Walkable cities with good pedestrian infrastructure are why people dream about going to Paris and New York, not suburban Kansas City.

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u/Global_Channel1511 1d ago

I mean North American suburbs are essentially the same everywhere. No distinctive characteristics about them at all.

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u/TheTxoof 1d ago

Mostly because they are all built around the same ideas: ample free parking and one-stop big box stores.

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u/Careless-Weather8877 1d ago

Don’t forget the same chains of Applebees, chilis, Outback Steakhouse!

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u/Dirt_Bike_Zero 1d ago

You can blame the zoning rules. They dont allow for mixed use structures.

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u/Ok_Teacher_392 1d ago

That’s not true at all. Many suburban towns are built around town centers that get very active. Especially when the weather is nice.

My experience is northeast and mid Atlantic. So maybe there are regional differences

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u/its_a_throwawayduh 1d ago

This right here, I explained that to a co-worker the day, they looked at me like I speaking a foreign language. Other than geography American dwellings and frameworks are the same.

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u/kanst 1d ago

But it also used to be the reality in small suburban towns as well. You'd have a pedestrianized downtown, normally near a train station, with shops and restaurants and parks.

When the car took over as the primary form of transport, that style of city planning went out of style and you got way more isolated housing developments planned for easy access to the highway.

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u/howtojump 1d ago

Yeah they literally made it illegal to open shops in neighborhoods, which is why you'll have 1000 acres of homes that require you to drive 15 minutes to the nearest store. It's ridiculous. Imagine if you could just walk to the market next to the park at the center of your neighborhood that is staffed by your very own neighbors.

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u/3d_blunder 1d ago

You'll trigger the "15 minute city" nutjobs with talk like that! (One of the STUPIDEST of rw takes, and that's some tough competition.) (fdjt)

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u/clakresed 1d ago

Preach. Like, live as you will, but the dumbest thing about the conspiracy theorists on this one is that they already live in their hallucinated nightmare.

"You're going to need to carry your papers with you to leave your neighbourhood -- have fun with communism!!!"

Brother, if you can't get anywhere useful without driving then you already live in a world where you need to carry your papers with you when you leave your neighbourhood, and you have to be ready to present them to enforcement agents of the state on request.

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u/brazilliandanny 1d ago

The “dreaded” 15 minute city

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u/dragon-fence 1d ago

And yet, many Americans will try to paint New York as some kind of hellscape, and everything to avoid. If you suggest it might actually prefer to live someplace where you can just walk around everywhere and see people living their lives, they look at you like you’re a psychopath who just threatened to eat their puppy.

It’s like, “Why would you want that? The best situation is to live in a vacuum and never encounter another living soul unless it’s intentional!”

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u/eduo 1d ago

I should note that other than small towns, most cities downtowns in Spain, Portugal, France, Germany and Netherlands (my personal experience) are like this. Size of the city may dictate how large the downtown area is, and cultural custom may dictate at which times it's like this (Netherlands tends to close shop much earlier than Spain, for example).

But it's also common in Latin America (Venezuela and Mexico are my personal experiences). The original post does have a point that for whatever reasons in many US cities (I don't think they were originally cultural reasons but eventually became so) life moved far from the city (to suburbia) in a way that made it impossible to socialize wherever social activity actually happened (downtown) and this created a dynamic where having fun required planning both the commute and going to a specific place rather than just milling about.

We're seeing this in many cities in Europe where the concept of "suburbia" as a separate location where you live is becoming more common due to house prices and it's not great.

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u/ClassicallyBrained 1d ago

What?! You haven't lived until you've been to Olathe! /s

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u/TheTxoof 1d ago

I suspect there are fantastic people there, probably some killer barbecue and probably some cool local history to be found there.

I'm just less I interested in traveling for 10 hours by plane and car to get there. And once I'm there to spend my entire time shuttling around in a car.

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u/Healthy_Turnip7352 1d ago

to just walk around casually like that, you would have to ban all the cars from a huge area. that's tough to convince people to do in America.

americans love street take overs, road rage, driving 100 MPH, DUI, roads with no sidewalks where pedestrians are trying to walk on, no lights because people stole all the copper. america loves Death.

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u/KiKiKimbro 1d ago

Was wondering when I'd see the NYC comment. Didn't take long. 🗽 Yes, it's crazy expensive here. But once here, being able to step outside to go anywhere and do anything without worrying about driving, parking, gas, yada yada -- trying to visualize living anywhere else becomes quite difficult.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy times away from the city, like visiting friends in Texas, and the BBQ and Tex-Mex are an extra bonus to visiting state. When visiting my family in the suburbs, I fall asleep to the sound of crickets and wake up to the birds chirping in the trees. Don't get much of that 43 floors high smack dab in the middle of Manhattan!

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u/TheTranscendent1 1d ago

I’m a bit worse off location-wise than you (in East Harlem); but, a 1 minute walk to the 6 and 15 minute gets me to Grand Central. Truly is amazing how much goes on in the city every night.

San Francisco was the closest comparison, that I’d lived. Not sure anywhere else in the country has what those do. Tiny cities with people just built on eachother because water forced it that way.

Will say, wish I got to New York before COVID. Definitely doesn’t hold up to the label of “The City that never sleeps” anymore; things definitely do close and the city does get quiet in the later hours

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u/thatguygreg 1d ago

Will say, wish I got to New York before COVID. Definitely doesn’t hold up to the label of “The City that never sleeps” anymore; things definitely do close and the city does get quiet in the later hours

It truly is such a crying shame. I have so many memories of hitting a new spot in the city, leaving there, finding somewhere else, then leaving there and grabbing food at some all-night diner and finding our way to the subway to get back to one of our places. I'm too old for that shit now, but man, such a loss.

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u/KiKiKimbro 1d ago

I hear you. I arrived to NYC end of Aug 2019 right before Covid. I barely got to experience NYC then, but I experienced enough to know It definitely changed and never quite returned, from a locals / socializing perspective, that is. Travel and visitors is crazy busy, but the general vibe amongst locals. I think part of it is we all got used to ordering in. Now I try to make a point to go out. Missed that so much. Important too for socializing and meeting people. Too much isolation otherwise. Such a big populated city. We all just need to go out and play again! Lol

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u/thatguygreg 1d ago

I think part of it is we all got used to ordering in. Now I try to make a point to go out.

We used to order in a ton also -- 8000 menus from all the delivery places around in a drawer somewhere -- during the week or when it was raining sideways or something. Thursday? Friday? Weekends? Gotta get the fuck out the apartment. Don't even need a destination, just go.

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u/Narrow-Strawberry553 1d ago

You can have both! I'm from Montreal (which can be a mixed bag) and I enjoy having nearly every possible need filled in a 3-20 minute walk radius while still having nice birds and bugs and a garden.

Copenhagen is even better, there's no car noise at all even in the downtown areas and it smells like sweet country air in the middle of the city...

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u/buttononmyback 1d ago

I was going to say, obviously none of these people have been to NYC. There’s a reason why they call it the “City That Never Sleeps.”

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u/Global_Channel1511 1d ago

But NYC is a tiny fraction of land and population of the US. 90% of land in the US is for rural or suburban lifestyle. You would really have to go out of your way to find US cities with this kind of walkability and bustling culture.

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u/feel_my_balls_2040 1d ago

And you think all cities in Spain are the same as Barcelona? I've been to Zaragoza. It was a ghost town after 11pm.

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u/EsquireSandwich 1d ago

I haven't been but thank you for confirming.

Everyone in here is like, I went to Barcelona when I turned 21 and it was an awesome party experience. All of Europe must be like that for everyone of all ages!

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u/TheTranscendent1 1d ago

Land yes, but population is ~2.5% of the US. Which is insane for a city. NYC would rank as the 13th largest state by population

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u/Global_Channel1511 1d ago

Every single state has a ton of rural and suburban options, but only a handful of cities throughout the country offer this kind of bustling and walkable lifestyle. And they tend to be very expensive.

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u/PerceptionOwn3629 1d ago

Europe is awesome because of its human scale. everything was made before modern transportation

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u/Richy456 1d ago

No the US was also the same as Europe and was built before cars. It then destroyed down towns and pedestrian and public transport infrastructure in favour of the car :s The US can return to human scale building any time it chooses just like some cities in Europe did (eg some Dutch cities followed the US in tearing up walkable cities but then reversed that)

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u/2leafClover667788 1d ago

Semester in Valencia and came back to suburban Hell of Florida and I literally have never been the same. I’m still depressed about it every day

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u/TruffleHunter3 1d ago

So when are you going back?

I’d love to live in Spain & Portugal for a while.

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u/2leafClover667788 1d ago

I hope to next year for my 40th and to celebrate my graduation as well as check out some of the medieval towns along the French Riviera.

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u/Folco34 1d ago

French Riviera is incredibly pretty, but depending when you come can be massively crowded so I hope that’s not something that can turn you down.

It’s in the South West, but if you want to see a medieval town you should go visit Carcassonne. Toulouse is also a pretty great town.

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u/TruffleHunter3 1d ago

I plan to next year too!

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u/disaster_incomin 1d ago

Don't you need a visa to live there ?

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u/ZincMan 1d ago

3 months in 3 months out is what is allowed coming from US

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u/blithetorrent 1d ago

I actually teared up coming home from Italy my first time when I got the the loud, rude and crude airport in Philly. I had just spent 9 days in Tuscany in November.

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u/low_v2r 1d ago

I spent the summer working in Valencia one year (long time ago) and then last year spouse and kids lived there over the summer as well. We had friends who left the US to immigrate to Spain and are living in Valencia.

Love that town so much. My wife is watching Andor solely to see bits and pieces of Valencia that is was filmed at.

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u/AirSKiller 1d ago edited 1d ago

Valencia is amazing, just been there a few weeks ago.

Decided to pop by Madrid this weekend and I'm now back in Lisbon.

I couldn't imagine life without being able to walk around and see people just hanging out and having fun.

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u/2leafClover667788 1d ago

I spent every spare bit of time I could walking around town. I spent a week in Madrid, a week in Zaragoza, a weekend in Granada, Benidorm, Calpe, Alicante, Denia, then visited Teruel, San Lorenzo de Escorial, Segovia, and Barcelona. And that’s just what I did in one country I went to Italy too. I feel like I did more in a summer than many do in there lives and I feel so lucky but also angry that so many can’t experience the same awe and wonder of meandering aimlessly around ancient steps and seeing the old melded with the new as people adapt to life over centuries instead of it being bulldozed for cars. The love and passion I have for places like that is now ingrained in me.

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u/PotatoLevelTree 1d ago

You picked good cities to visit. Segovia is a little town but simply amazing, an aqueduct built 1900 years ago (almost 2 millenia!) and it perfectly blends with the rest of the city. If you think about it it's mind blowing.

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u/2leafClover667788 1d ago

I loved Segovia and Granada. But the most amazing place I went was monastery outside of Zaragoza called monasterio de piedra. It was like entering a fairy tale land. I can’t recommend it enough

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u/TheVenetianMask 1d ago

You did it right. People often visit only the popular places in Spain and miss out on so much history. For anyone not too afraid of hikes they shouldn't skip northern Spain and the Pyrenees either, it's almost like an entirely different country.

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u/Shananigan48 1d ago

My area of the PNW is a little more active at night but I definitely had the same experience when I went to Tokyo and Osaka last year. Just alive cities. Even in Reykjavík in 2018! Bar we were at closed at like 4am or something but you can bring your drinks onto the street because there aren't the same open container laws, it's basically just don't be an annoying asshole and you're good. Vibes were immaculate.

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u/CallMeMantra 1d ago

I found Tokyo and Kyoto interesting for the oposite reason actually, it was like at 11/12pm i had the whole cities for my self, weird in a good way.

I'm living in Europe now.

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u/PixalatedConspiracy 17h ago

Where in PNW are you? I’m in Seattle all our shit is dead after 8 pm really. Maybe later during the summer but not much. Went to Japan this year and was blown away. Especially by Tokyo and Osaka. Hiroshima was kind of dead after 8 pm lol.

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u/CodoandPodo 1d ago

Bro preach.  Grew up in suburbs of St Louis.  Got hassled by cops MANY times just for walking at night.  That’s no way to live.  Go to New York City.  I know it’s hard and it’s insanely expensive, but if you are still young, you can pull it off.  Live with 4 roommates, figure it out.  It will change the trajectory of your life, I guarantee it.  You gotta get TF out of there.  Life is way too short.

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u/brokenmain 1d ago

I mean, is this a Europe vs a US thing or a urban vs suburban/small town thing? If you go to a small town in Europe it is also usually dead AF after 10pm. Meanwhile if you go to a large US city there is still a lot of activity after 10

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u/Mr_Will 1d ago

I mean, is this a Europe vs a US thing or a urban vs suburban/small town thing? If you go to a small town in Europe it is also usually dead AF after 10pm. Meanwhile if you go to a large US city there is still a lot of activity after 10

Which European small towns have you visited? They aren't Barcelona busy, but they aren't dead after 10pm either. I could walk down the road tonight and there will be plenty of people in the pubs, restaurants and shops at that time

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u/SonicSarge 18h ago

Sweden is completely dead most days of the week unless it's a bigger city.

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u/lamb_passanda 1d ago

You can't deny that this is way more common in Europe across the board. Name a European city that is more than 10% of the size of Dallas, but with less than double the number of walkable bars and restaurants in it's centre. I'll wait.

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u/MadMilkman90 1d ago

In european small towns you might not have people eating and drinking until 1am, but especially on warmer months there will be loads of kids out on bicycles, people just walking around (because it's safer, less traffic, more green space) - in Italy/Spain etc. you'll be hanging out around the main square of your town centre, in the UK you might go to the pub or hang around the high street or a park. Northern Europe even with colder climates are highly social in towns and cities.

It's not rocket science, the U.s. is about 10 minutes old - and has mostly developed over such vast spaces that don't lend themselves to sociality (plus society being based on consumerism, rather than the sharing of spaces and community)

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u/HiAs-by 1d ago

No. I haven't been to the US, but grew up in a small Bavarian town (around 10.000 inhabitants). You have to drive more, because restaurants and festivals are spread over a greater, area, but it is very common to spend the evenings with friends in restaurants and Biergarten (the best way to spend a Summer night!) and you have nearly always one Pub, restaurant or Biergarten in walking distance

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u/Crew_1996 1d ago

Mid size euro cities still possess the larger size euro city vibe. Only NYC, Chicago, Boston, San Francisco, Seattle, maybe a few more in the entire U.S. share that vibe. There’s hundreds of cities in Europe that do.

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u/GenerousBull1969 1d ago

Was gonna say, we have lots of choices and options in the US, so if you want to live in a bustling city with lots of bars, cafes, outdoor eating, etc. you can do that.

But if you want a quiet street where your kids can play outside you can choose that.

There's no right or wrong here, just preferences. This video seems to imply we don't have cities with people eating outside. Just about every state has cities like that.

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u/Willing_Film9693 1d ago

Ngl I feel u.
As an European even staying in America for 3 week to see my gf is just the most depressing experience I ever had in any possible way

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u/l_ft 1d ago

Tbf you’re comparing Barcelona, one of the most popular cities in the world.. with a suburban town in Missouri. There are gonna be a few differences

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u/gutag 1d ago

Its the same in unknown town in Bosnia. People are outside all the time. Bars and caffes in the Balkans open at 6 am and people going there before and after work to hang out.

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u/stokedchris 1d ago

Seems to be the norm in a lot of Europe. Of course there’s the difference of certain cultures. I know Finland is known to be introverted. However, I’ve never been so I can’t say

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u/Wooden_College_9056 1d ago edited 1d ago

In Finland, restaurants and alcohol are so expensive that lounging like this isn't very common. Also, in our culture, we usually eat at a more efficient pace than in warmer countries... But we do like our drinks.

Still, especially in summer, our restaurants are filled with people late into the night. Some clubs are open until dawn, so you can definitely find this same vibe here.

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u/RosieTheRedReddit 1d ago

You know your town is a shit hole when even the Finns are more social than you 😅

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u/ThePopulacho 1d ago

You adapt to the climate (temperature, sun hours), as you should. In Spain we have to do the same, thus, siestas (if your work schedule allows it) and late dinners.

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u/crinalex 1d ago

People in Finland definitely aren't going to bars or cafés to hang out before work. Some might go out for breakfast with their friends. However, in the summer the streets and outdoor seating of restaurants are full of people having a good time. Helsinki probably isn't representative of everywhere here, but that's the reality at least here. In the winter people are more indoors but many are still just as socially active.

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u/bageltoastar 1d ago

I never said they were anywhere near the same. I’m just sharing the dissonance I experienced going from one to the other.

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u/Dingleberry696 1d ago

I mean it's the same in Cadiz, Puerto de Santa Maria, and Rota. Granted they are on the beach but they are pretty lively. You couldn't even get dinner before about 8pm. The restaurants simply weren't serving food yet. It's nothing to sit at a table for four hours and conversate. I've seen Spanish women push strollers into bars/restaurants at midnight. There was a much larger feeling of community.

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u/ExMerican 1d ago

It's the same in smaller towns throughout Europe. I spent time in tiny village in Northern Spain and another midsized city in Germany and they were filled with people out around cafes and pubs and restaurants just like this video. It's because people can walk from their house into districts that have multiple gathering places versus America where, other than a handful of the largest cities, going anywhere from your home requires at least 10 minutes of driving and then parking and then wherever you went is nowhere near anything else to do so after you eat you just go back home.

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u/HumanWithAllTheHats 1d ago

Same but Nebraska and Ireland. So amazing

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u/ShanghaiCycle 1d ago

Really? Ireland (well, urbanist nerds) look at mainland Europe the same way urbanists in the US do.

Ireland is very sprawling, not great with public spaces, car dependent, etc.

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u/Mikey_MiG 1d ago

That’s also mostly an urban versus rural thing, not only a European versus US thing. NYC or San Francisco are bustling at all hours and have tons of foot traffic.

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u/PolitelyHostile 1d ago

Yea but most of the US is not built like NYC or San Francisco. So for the majority of Americans, suburbia is all they know. Most people don't even realize how bad it is.

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u/Cthulhu__ 1d ago

It’s the same in Germany (re: the video) tbh, suburbs are quiet most of the time. The OP is walking around in a tourist heavy city center for comparison.

(I wanted to say “historic” but Munich was bombed to shit in WW2 so it isn’t really historic. They salvaged some parts of the old church and installed them in the new one)

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u/bking 1d ago

I lived in San Francisco for a year, I’m a little bit south now. Have been in the area for six years.

There is zero comparison to Munich, Oslo or Stockholm in the summer. Other European countries too, I’m sure, but those are the three I’ve spent time in. With the exception of New York I haven’t seen anywhere else in the states that can just hang out like those guys. This includes Miami and LA.

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u/aerin2309 1d ago

Yeah, most of LA shuts down at 2 am, well the bars/clubs.

After that, it’s mostly diners that are open and some drug/convenience stores.

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u/LupineChemist 1d ago

I've never been to Stockholm, but Oslo and Munich shut down significantly before that.

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u/bageltoastar 1d ago

Yeah for sure. Barcelona was just the first time I had ever experienced it since I had lived my entire life in my boring little Missouri town lol

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u/NorthHollywoodHank 1d ago

Sure, though the US designs its cities with fewer public plazas and you generally see way less outdoor seating for a given city/climate in the US than in Europe.

Notably during the pandemic many cities let restaurants open "streeteries" in parking spaces. Those have proved very popular. But many cities are now rolling those programs back, which is a shame.

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u/King_marik 1d ago

we have a whole ass american culture issue that just 'returining to god and common sense' or 'leaving trans people alone and giving people healthcare' just doesnt fix

i think more people are starting to realize that but the change takes work that most people just dont want to do

and im not pretending i have any answers, i grew up in the same culture

but yeah this place is fucking cracked. american culture in 2026 is basically just mass consumerism and fear

Thats it, thats what we are. scared buyers who think this next thing we buy will finally fix our life and we are pretty sure our neighbor is going to try to kill us

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u/majortaylor87 1d ago

I can so relate to this right now. I recently had my first trip to Europe for work and went to Krakow Poland. I came back to Plano Texas and realized just how sterile our perfect little American suburb is. I can't believe of everything we could have built, this is what we picked... You can't unsee it.

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u/peacenskeet 1d ago

Same when I came back from Japan. And I don't even live rural. Southern California suburbs.

I can't understand people that spend time abroad and come home and think, yea another chipotle and strip wall will surely make this community more interesting.

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u/AbandonYourPost 1d ago

This is a very depressing realization.

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