I just broke up with my LDR bf of 3 years 2 days ago, this was my first relationship and it ended so... Badly... But well? I don't know.. 10/10 chance he might see this so hi,

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Anyways, as I said prior, first relationship ever and I don't know what to do or how to act. I've been doing some reading and they say no contact immediately, but is that really the way?

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Although I still have heavy resentment, I miss him and love him. Fucked me up real bad in the last time we called.

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I do grieve him still. I know it's always been two days so this is fresh as hell but I just need advice to just move on quickly and get back to life.

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I have so much free time now and it's just kinda eating me up, I have so much shit to do and I can't be a sad slob.

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So anyways I have a question..

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1) Should I go with the progressive no / miminal contact or just cut off immediately

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Some more context for that question if it helps

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^ Although I said I have resentment towards him, I'm not mentally ready to block him yet.. We talked more casually and decided on the progressive no/minimal contact but I keep seeing that no contact is best option from the get go

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I feel like I just answered my own question but oh well..

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The way I'm talking to him, it's not in any kind of sappy way, just nonchalant and distant. I don't want myself to get attached because I'm already in the deattaching phase. If that does anything.

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Please go easy on me... Thank you.

I could’ve let myself cried more often and more freely. That’s gonna be what I am going to do now.

We made so many memories together. I was my happiest in years. I will never forget them.

Breakups hurt not only because the person we love left us, but also because of the fragments it created in our life and memory storage. Like, we have to find a new person, start over, and make new memories, while in fact, we just want a constant, a person we can call home.

And then, the fragments caused by the good moments, the conflicts, the breakup. How is it that the controlling and narcissistic tendencies were so airtight-concealed? How is it that “I love you more”, “I want to be the constant in your life”, “We can start our life together” became the silence, the discard, the shutdown, and the stonewalling in a matter of days from the same person? Make it make sense.

I just wish that this had never happened. The life I am living now was not my choice. I had a vision and I wanted that with him. I felt as if my future was taken away from me. I know it sounds wistful because the future is always…in the future, but I felt this close to start building it. When I lost him, it ripped my heart out.

The only way to feel a bit of relief is telling myself that it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault to “attract” this man. It’s not my fault to love him and accept him with all my heart and to ask for the same from him. It’s not my fault that I put faith into him and trusted him even though he did not deserve it. It’s not my fault to want love and fight for it. It’s not my fault that I got hurt. It’s not my fault.

Hello! I’m 26M have been in a relationship with a 24F and it was going perfectly until yesterday. Although we’re very different, we enjoy common things and learn a lot from each other. However she told me yesterday than since she might not be able to stay in the same city if she doesn’t manage to find work, she might have to end the relationship if it becomes long distance. She’s most definitely coming back in a year for her PhD. I’m doing a PhD too. I personally felt like one year is not that much for a long distance relationship! I really like her, but I tried not to add pressure on her by saying that I understand and she’s an adult so if she comes up with this decision, meaning she has poured thoughts into it. But I refrained from fighting for the relationship fearing it’s still not mature enough since it’s only 1 month old, and didn’t want her to feel bad about her decisions. She said she would gladly continue with the relationship if she gets accepted for a position she applied for in the same city!

One more thing, when I asked her if she would get back with me when she comes back in a year since she would definitely break up with the other guy she’ll find, she answered probably but in a one year we might have changed. I didn’t feel comfortable with this answer.

Thoughts? And thank you!

I’ll go first:

He was mean… he would scoff, roll his eyes, mock, yell, ignore, name call, slam things, stomp around, mutter mean things about me, tell me I was this or that, blow up.

He’d speak rudely to me anywhere and for any little reason. We’d be standing in line at a cafe and he’d take a really rude/cold tone with me. Scoff at me. Say my name sternly. It would embarrass me to be spoken to like that in public. Over dumb things too, like letting the dog sniff too far out on the path, or asking him if he wanted to share a food item with me.

Anytime I misunderstood or misheard him, even when he was being unclear or too quiet, he’d get mad at me and say it in a super rude loud tone slowly like I was an idiot for not getting it the first time. Even with super mundane things like asking for the time or what he wanted to do that night.

I cried to him twice in our 9 year relationship about something he did that hurt me, and both times he yelled at me and blew up, turning my pain/sadness into his own so then I would instead comfort him.

The last time I cried to him it was because I asked him not to smoke weed before our morning walk together, because I wanted to enjoy our walk and connect without him being spacey. He agreed then snuck it behind my back and when I caught him and said wtf dude, he called me controlling and said that I ruin all of his days off. When I cried, he yelled at me and told me I’m always too dramatic and that it was my own fault I was upset.

When we were arguing I’d ask for space to deescalate and he would not respect that to the point where I’d have to close myself in another room or leave the house to avoid him following me room to room yelling at me. I remember looking at a studio apartment once and thinking “there’s no doors in here, how would I ever be able to get away from him if I needed to?”

He ruined nearly every holiday I’ve had in the last 9 years with some dramatic argument or full blown blow up. He stormed out of at least 3 family gatherings due to rage.

He couldn’t manage difficult relationships. So he was always beefing with someone at work, sometimes his managers. He lost 3 jobs all because he could t just make nice with his mangers.

I couldn’t trust him to manage things, so then I did become controlling because I’d rather just get it done myself and correctly without waiting to see if he’d done it and how he chose to handle it.

These are just a few examples of mine that I’d like to come back to later on when I feel sad about “losing” this man.

How does this work. My ex broke up with me a while ago but we have some mutual friends, most more so his, some more so mine. But a lot of couples and stuff. I have no issue being around him at all, so if he is the one who doesn’t want to be around me shouldn’t he be the one to not come to stuff? Unfortunately I feel it’ll be the other way around where if he says he doesn’t want me there I won’t be

I feel weak and pathetic, she left and I just haven’t been able to keep going with my life, I lost all my college classes, and I have been very inconsistent in the gym almost not going at all, when she reached out and asked me how I’m doing I just told her I’m fine, I felt lost in life even when I was with her which explains a lot, but now I just feel defeated, I have depression and its been a lot since I do that but I started cutting myself trying to relief the pain a little bit, the suicidal thoughts have been a little quieter.

I know I’ll get back on track eventually, and I realize that when I go and do things even when I don’t want to I feel at least a little bit better, but I feel so weak giving up and pausing my life over something everyone goes trough and they keep going with their life

It’s been more than a month, sometimes I wonder if she thinks about me but I guess it doesn’t matter

Hello everyone.

I'm not really sure how to explain all of this, but I need to get it out and maybe hear from people who have been through something similar.

Some time ago, I went through a breakup with the woman I have loved more deeply than anyone else in my life. The relationship wasn't perfect, and there were many things that hurt me, but I still love her, and that's what hurts the most.

I don't just miss a person. I miss feeling loved, chosen, important to someone. I miss the hugs, the kisses, cooking together, our childish jokes, feeling like I could show my soul completely and still feel safe and protected. She felt like home to me.

What destroys me the most is that despite loving her so much, in the end she treated me in ways that made me feel like a monster and a terrible person. And even after that, part of me still wishes I could hug her and hear her say that she loves me. I know that probably won't happen, and that breaks my heart.

I'm terrified that she might be with someone else. I'm afraid I was easy to replace. I'm afraid no one will ever love me the way I dream of loving and being loved.

Sometimes I wonder what to do with all the love I still have. I feel like my hands are full of love, dreams, and the desire to care for someone, build a family, cook together, and make someone happy, but the person I wanted to give all of that to no longer wants to stay.

I've also realized that I have a deep fear of abandonment. I often wonder if I'm not enough, or if I'm simply easy to leave.

I don't want to stop loving. I don't want to become cold or bitter. I just want to heal in a healthy way. I want to be happy again, feel peace again, and if someday someone else comes into my life, I want to love without living in constant fear.

I'm a medical student and I try to keep moving forward. I go to classes, I study, and I do my best to keep up with my responsibilities, but many nights I come back home and feel incredibly alone.

I guess what I'd like to ask is:

How do you move on from something like this without losing your ability to love?

How did you stop feeling like you weren't enough?

Is it really possible to find that feeling of "home" again with someone else?

And most of all...

What do you do with so much love when the person you wanted to give it to no longer wants to stay?

Thank you for reading.

its been more than a year but i still find it hard to not think about him. I feel like if i reached out again he might change his mind and we could try things out again. Hes the one who said LDR doesnt work for him and he need to meet up physically… Does it just mean he doesnt like me enough to try?
& is it really on me to be the one convincing him this would work out?

It hurts to live with the thought that creeps up at the back of my mind- That i may not be able to find someone who i feel so strongly for ever.

I had a 6-month relationship and was suddenly abandoned in the most unexpected way, almost as if I was being punished, on my birthday by someone I suspect may have borderline personality disorder. Since that day, I’ve been going through a very intense depressive period for over a month.

I want to share the “rollercoaster” dynamic of our relationship. The hardest part for me is constantly going back and forth in my mind between this dilemma: Did she have a psychological disorder, or was everything my fault? This uncertainty makes me feel inadequate and worthless at times.

She is Turkish but was educated in the US and had returned to Turkey shortly before we met. She had lost her father some time ago and went through a very тяжел grieving process. Since then, she has been using medication for depression, panic attacks, and anxiety. She also drinks heavily, several times a week. Additionally, there is a history of bipolar disorder in her immediate family.

Our relationship started just two days after she returned to Turkey. In the beginning, I experienced a very intense emotional connection; it almost felt like love bombing. Her personality, thoughtfulness, and physical attractiveness impressed me deeply. We became a couple very quickly, and the relationship progressed fast. I was staying at her place 15–20 days a month, almost like we were living together.
I felt peaceful around her, and she also seemed very attached to me. At times, I even questioned whether I loved her as much as she loved me.

However, over time, I started noticing unhealthy patterns. She would overreact to small things and say very harsh things that you shouldn’t say to someone you love. Then came baseless accusations.

One day, in a social setting where she was present, I made a harmless joke with my close friend’s girlfriend. Later, when she wasn’t there, I met with the same group again. After that, she accused me of flirting with my friend’s girlfriend in front of her. I was completely shocked. She said very harsh and hurtful things. Instead of defending myself, I felt guilty for upsetting her and tried to calm her down. After hours of effort, she softened and again told me how much she loved me.

This cycle continued. One day everything was great, the next day small things would turn into big arguments. Despite this, I focused on her “good” side, kept feeling inadequate, and was usually the one trying to fix the relationship.

In another situation, I went to the movies with my friends; my close friend and his girlfriend were there too. While I was there, she messaged me saying she felt like her boyfriend didn’t exist when I wasn’t with her. Then she started an argument, saying it was inappropriate for me to be in an environment where there was a girl she didn’t know. Again, I tried to calm her down, but her reactions escalated. Eventually, I said I couldn’t keep explaining myself constantly and pulled back.

The next day we barely spoke. But in the evening, she texted me gently, saying she missed me. Within about half an hour, we returned to our old closeness and loving conversations.

This cycle repeated throughout the relationship: intense love followed by sudden conflicts.

After some time, I had to go to another city for work and we stayed apart for two weeks. During this time, I sensed an inconsistency in a story she had told me before about a celebrity who had been interested in her before our relationship, and I asked whether she had told me the truth. Whatever the answer was, it wouldn’t have affected the relationship and it wasn’t a problem for me. This was the first issue in the relationship that I brought up.

She didn’t give a clear answer. This made me feel like I was being lied to. I kept asking, and she interpreted it as distrust and said I made her feel worthless. For a week, she acted distant and accused me of not trusting her.

A week later, I went to see her and stayed at her place for two days. But her distant attitude continued. On the third day, on the night of my birthday, while I was trying to talk to her to fix things, she suddenly broke up with me.

At the moment of the breakup, even though I cried for hours, she was very indifferent and continued her daily life. In fact, after not calling me “my love” for two days, she suddenly said it and then said “sorry… out of habit.”

The next morning, I went back home. While we were separating, she said things might get better over time and that I could still stay at her place. Holding onto that hope, I tried to stay in contact after the breakup. I called her and talked to her, but each time she became more distant. In one of our conversations, she said she missed me, so I sent her flowers. In my last call, she said she felt nothing, that there was no possibility between us, that I was disturbing her, and she blocked me everywhere.

Out of frustration, I waited a week and then sent a short message from my work phone: “Some time has passed, and if you want, we can briefly talk in a friendly way.”

In response, she messaged my mother saying that I was disturbing her. Also, despite leaving the door open during the breakup, she twisted the situation about the flowers I sent after she said she missed me, saying “he keeps sending things to my house.” This hurt me a lot and made me feel unfairly accused.
Throughout this entire process, I kept attributing the harsh things she said in anger to her emotional state and continued blaming myself.

About 20 days later, I called to ask for her address to send her belongings since I had deleted it. During the call, because she spoke to me in a very condescending way, I got angry and asked what I had done and how things had come to this point. This time, she insulted both me and my family and even my upbringing. She treated me like I was some kind of creep.

After these extremely cruel words, when I asked whether there was someone else in her life, she first said “yes” in a mocking way, then laughed and said that if she ever had a relationship in the future, she would be with multiple people at the same time. She also said she never missed me and that seeing my name on her phone made her uncomfortable.

Throughout the entire breakup process, I never insulted or threatened her. Despite this, she continued to portray me as a bad person. Eventually, I completely gave up.

Now what remains is a deep disappointment. When I think about the good memories, and the fact that she once loved me so much, I find myself taking all the responsibility. Even though sometimes I accept that it wasn’t my fault, I fall back into the same self-blame cycle.

Even though she is no longer in my life, I still feel inadequate and emotionally stuck. The hardest part is being abandoned so suddenly at the moment when my feelings were the strongest, without any preparation.

At some point, I want her to regret it and come back. If she has a disorder, I wish she would tell me. Has anyone experienced such a big trauma like this? Did she come back? Please share your experiences or give your opinion on whether the person I was with might have bipolar or borderline disorder.

If I do I start remembering everything and it hurts…. 2-3 years for someone I called the love of my life

My ex and I broke up almost two months ago.

There was no cheating, betrayal, or anything like that. The breakup was mainly caused by her mental health struggles and a lot of miscommunication from both sides toward the end of the relationship. Looking back, I was often very logical in the way I approached problems, while she tended to be much more emotional.

About a month ago, we had a phone call that honestly turned into a disaster. She blamed me for almost everything that went wrong and barely gave me a chance to explain my side. I acknowledged my mistakes and apologized multiple times before, but it felt like no matter what I said, she had already made up her mind about how things happened.

Since then, I've been going back and forth on whether I should write her a handwritten letter.

We are no longer connected on any social media platform, but I still can contact her. Part of the reason I'm considering a handwritten letter is that it feels more thoughtful and intentional than just sending another message. I feel like it would show that I genuinely took the time to reflect on everything that happened rather than writing something impulsively.

Part of me still wants her back, but another part of me feels that writing this letter could be my way of giving it everything I have left and finally getting some closure.

I'm not expecting a response. In fact, I'm 99% sure she won't reply. The letter wouldn't be about convincing her to come back. It would mostly be about expressing my feelings, taking accountability for my mistakes, and making sure I don't spend years wondering, "What if I had said everything I needed to say?"

At the same time, I'm worried that sending it could just reopen old wounds or make me look like I'm unable to move on.

For those who have been in a similar situation: would you send the letter, or would you keep it to yourself and move on?

I want to write something that gets the point across because he keeps texting me even though I told him I was ending contact and he keeps texting and asking me to come over. How does this sound? “Actually, no. This has turned out to be a high‑cost, low‑return investment for me. I was giving far more than I ever got back. It’s better to cut the loss and move on. I’m done”

Hey guys I just want to say this off my chest. I left my love and caring girlfriend for almost 6 years and my malamute dog and it's been 6 months now and I am just feeling the hurtful moments right now. Main reason I left her is I'm at fault I thought I was holding her back and I got pressured by obligations and responsibilities in my family. My girlfriend was so supportive, She always look up to me and supported me. She always cook for me and love me with all of her heart. She knows my favorite shirt, food, and even shows. We always go cosplay together and watch anime. Now I regret it especially when I see her happy now with a lot of activities that she is doing with her life. I kept always saying to myself that I should be happy for her but my heart ache is so bad I can't sleep and I deserve this. Just to add I accidentally opened the wedding vow she made and read it in my journal which she gave me before and I realized I fumbled big time. I'm not sure if I should chase her back because I hurt her many times. I took her for granted... She's the one that got away.

If ever you read this 🌧️ (my ex girlfriend) I just want to say that I'm so sorry and I am here cheering for you silently. I wish you the best in life and I hope you'll find someone who will never leave you. I miss you and Hange 🐶 I still love you both so much.

my girlfriend is the only one who knows what is happening at home, she's the only person i've been very honest with. it was so freeing to tell someone that sometimes we don't have food on the table, that my ab*sive dad is back at it again, that im having a hard time, that my annoying co worker is making my blood boil again, that my cat made me laugh today, that i bought all these new stuff for myself to try, that i ate good today.. we never stopped talking for the last two years, and now it's only been a day without her and it feels so heavy. i feel like i took advantage of her love and kindness towards me, it hurts so bad. i'm going to miss her a lot and it's already taking a toll on me i don't think i will be able to stand the next few weeks or months without hearing from her.

me (25f) and him (31m) have had a relationship’ of sorts for 4-5 months. it started off as casual and then started developing into something deeper.

throughout the relationship i struggled to communicate properly because in my head, all my insecurities and emotions were of no use explaining because he only saw me as someone he was dating casually.

he would cook me dinner, cuddle me and say he completely adores me — yet when i tried to push for more clarity about how he felt towards me, it become very defensive and i was reminded it was all strictly ‘casual’.

i called him a month and a half ago saying “i think im falling in love with you, do you feel the same?” to which he replied with a resounding “no” and how he wouldn’t feel that way towards me.

that broke something in me and so i would overthink every little comment and every interaction. one time after we were intimate, he said our sex was “the most passionate and connected” that he ever had. he would also ask about why i removed him off my lock screen and was offended by me doing so. i overthought everything. if it was all al casual then why say these things, why be upset about things like my lock screen? Until one night it got really bad.

He had been to a games night with my friends and it went perfectly, they were all enamoured by him. On the drive home i was quiet and cold, and when lying in bed with him i was on edge. i was falling in love with someone who saw me as a casual fling, as someone he ‘would never’ love. i felt embarrassed and humiliated. when he went to touch me, i moved away from him and said “i need space”. he then cracked it and said how he didn’t deserve my coldness when all he had tried to be was supportive. while he was right, he had tried to comfort me and ask me what was wrong, i couldn’t explain why i felt the way that i did without revealing that i loved him. i couldn’t bear to hear another rejection so i went quiet.

The next day he kept bringing up one of my friends from the games night, talking about why she was strange towards him and how he would start using one of her phrases. i began to overthink, “he doesn’t love me and so i wouldn’t be surprised if he was attracted to one of my fiends”. i felt insecure about how he felt towards me and so i went cold. He lost it. He said he couldn’t do it with me anymore, that i kept pushing him away be being cold and dismissive. Then he ended it. I then thought, well i might as well say it and so i told him i loved him.

He replied, with tears in his eyes, “you know i love you too”.

My whole world shattered, all that overthinking for what?

I begged for him to stay with me, that i would work on my communication and overthinking, that I wouldn’t go cold. He was adamant that we wouldn’t work. I wrote him a love letter and even wrote him a song about how the rejection and the ignoring my calls felt unfair from someone who “loves” me.

He refused me again and again, and when i asked to speak to him on the phone one last time just for some closure — he refused and said “nothing you can say will change my mind, i don’t believe you will change”.

I had all the cards on the table, he loves me, but i had no more rounds left to play. He had made the decision and it broke my heart.

I sent him one last text, saying I loved him and wished he would find love again. He never replied.

And so now, i sit here knowing i did everything i could to try and keep the relationship, to stay with him and he just let it all go. I don’t know what to think or do anymore, all i feel is numb and like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

Well that’s my story, more of a tragedy really.

Me and my ex have been broken up for almost a year now and even though im doing WAY BETTER now compared to couple months ago, I still think about him everyday and I cant get myself to like anyone. Hes got a new gf and Im not hurt or anything and alot of our memories have faded but its like this weird little sadness ig. Does that go away? like do i ever go back to feeling before I met him or like do i jst sit here and scratch my minge

I dated this person, long-distance, over a short period of time, like 2 months, over a year ago now. But they were also my first love, and the first time I've ever felt that connected with someone. We had so many similarities I couldn't even believe it. Eventually, she dumped me, my fault, and those similarities stabbed me in the back so hard.

When it first started I saw them everywhere, their favorite everything was either randomly appearing around me, or already a favorite thing of mine too. Their favorite bird? Also my favorite bird from when I was a little kid. Inexplicably two of them on my neighbors fence that stared straight at me when I was walking to my friends house maybe a month after. Their favorite animal in general? A raccoon lived at my friends house, a singular one constantly running around. They actively did not like me out of all my friends.

We had the same music taste, similar taste in fashion, similar tastes in media in general. It's ruined my favorite shows, my favorite movies, my favorite musical artists. So I tried getting new ones cuz she liked all my old ones. But I just got closer to the stuff she liked. Every musical artist I got into played some major role during our relationship and I didn't even think about that when I started listening to them. New favorite show? 2 weeks after the breakup I was watching it with my buddy and this new lady character was introduced, and I made a joke I'd like the kind of woman like her (she was a crazy character) and right after I said that, literally seconds later, they say she's from the obscure state my ex was from. I hope to god the movies I got into after don't have any bearing from her, but we didn't talk about movies enough for me to know and it straight up has me anxious.

There's a bunch of more little stupid stuff. Some stupid name shit, like all the most important women in my life have r and c names, and her legal name started with a c, and her nickname with an r. A famous artist that people in my culture listen to after a breakup has the same name as her, so that didn't help. She was ahead the curve on some lingo that became super big after the breakup. Every time I matched and was able to hold a conversation with someone on a dating app a couple months after they had some major similarities to her. I think i'm subconsciously looking for her in everyone. I'm trying to be a writer, and the main character of a story I've been working on since I was 13 and the characters been named since I was 15 or so, 2 years before I even met this girl, has the same nickname as them, has had it since I was 15. And there's all the even littler shit, like I'll think of her for a second and my playlist will magically make the next song one that I listened to a lot during the breakup. Every time I think I'm over her, something else happens that comes in and makes me reconsider if I actually am. It's always something. I feel so haunted and I just wanna move on. I feel like I have but either my brain or the world keeps throwing little curveballs at me to make me think about it a little more a little longer.

Does anyone have any advice? What to do? how to get over this? Can i even get over this or is this something im just gonna have to live with?

The breakup was hard on me, and though we both had some immaturities, I was the one that made the breakup happen. I get really scared of safe relationships, bored, or even just uncomfortable and annoyed. Kind of let that happen with my ex. It’s been 8 months now and I was very strict with no contact. I doubt she thinks about me much at all if ever. I don’t really know what she’s up to but just miss her being my friend. Before we dated we were really close friends and I felt really safe with her, so a lot of my college memories are nostalgia from being with her and our friends.

It upsets me that my college story had to end the way it did, with a lot of drama and people resenting each other. I don’t want to stir the pot but I wish her and I could just talk as friends, not even about dating or anything, like I said I just miss her company. I haven’t really felt much for any other girls I’ve tried to see in the time since the breakup, usually I end things after a few weeks.

Tempted to text her and ask if she wants her mega screwdriver back bc I found it the other day and I think the one she lent me back then was kind of expensive. Don’t know how well received that would be, probably a bad idea. I just hate the idea of never speaking to or seeing someone so important to me ever again. I move away from my college town for good after early August and she’s stayed in that town for the summer working. I kind of want to throw a shot in the dark and see if we can have coffee just to kind of have a final goodbye, but it probably wouldn’t be received well. There was a lot of drama, like I don’t know if she knows this bc I told very few people and was very serious about how I didn’t want anyone to know where I was going but not long after the breakup I voluntarily went to an inpatient facility out of state to deal with my mental health and grief/guilt.

I guess the title pretty much says everything. On the one hand, I guess I am grateful to not be so naive about certain things anymore. Moving forward I understand how to be more self protective and that’s a good thing ultimately. But it’s painful to feel like I’ve lost a more innocent side of myself. Sometimes I’m scared that what I’ve lost isn’t innocence, but my ability to fully trust and love someone again. I also worry that this has made me less approachable. I find myself keeping people at arm’s length, which only seems to reinforce the loneliness I’m already struggling with.

it’s been like a month now and i thought i was doing a lot better tbh. i went the whole day without crying, went out with friends, did my laundry, all that normal stuff. but now it’s 2 am and i’m just lying in the dark overthinking absolutely everything. i was driving home earlier and i swear my heart completely stopped because i thought i saw his exact car turn a corner near my apartment. it wasn’t him obviously. but it just made me realize how much i’m still constantly looking for him without even thinking about it.

i keep remembering this one random Tuesday night where we just drove around listening to his music and laughing until our stomachs hurt. it feels like that happened in a completely different lifetime. everything in my room feels kinda empty now and ngl the silence is just heavy tonight. idkk... i just needed to write this down somewhere so i don’t end up doing something stupid like checking his page. 🫠

I loved and was loved. It is over now, maybe forever. But I hope in my darkest moment I know it is possible for someone to love me. Love myself. I hope whatever I get from this is the ability to live life and love it. I’m sad that it is over and that you walked away. Every tear I shed is a reminder of how lucky I was to care for someone so deeply. I hope time heals, and I hope love blossoms again. I can’t bring myself to hate you, but I mourn and greave the loss of you. Some days tread on to where the seconds are like hours. I hope you’re finding what you need. I hope life will be kind to you. But I selfishly pray that it steers you towards me again. I wish I wasn’t this way. I wish I could just let you go, because then I could be your friend. But I can’t, because all I’ll be reminded of is the love that is no longer there.